


All These Broken Pieces

by PaddieFrog



Series: A Familiar Sorrow [1]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: ASL Frisk, Alcohol, F/M, Healing and Family, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Mild Language, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Slow Burn, Some Blood and Non-Graphic Violence In Later Chapters, Toriel POV, depression and mental illness, gonna be a long fic, like really long, mentions of child abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-18
Updated: 2018-10-07
Packaged: 2018-12-26 22:12:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 34
Words: 366,428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12067989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PaddieFrog/pseuds/PaddieFrog
Summary: Toriel finally gets Sans to open up to her about his past, and to help him through it, she tells him her own story as well.In time, they find their personal histories are far more connected than they ever could have imagined.





	1. Sunrise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all~ I've been writing fanfic for a while now but this is my first time really posting on a site like this. Hopefully I'll manage to format everything correctly and will be posting somewhat often. Just a note that my fics tend to be super long so i'll probably be working on this one for a while. Hope you all enjoy~
> 
> If you want you can find me on tumblr at paddie-ut.tumblr.com.
> 
> Update: There is now a spanish translation of this fic in the works by the wonderful Gabriella_Lu/Lau.  
> You can find it on Wattpad here!: https://www.wattpad.com/story/159152378-ut-todas-estas-piezas-rotas-soriel-by-paddiefrog/parts

 

 

It hadn’t taken Toriel long after meeting him to realize there was something wrong with her friend. Even when she knew him only as a voice on the other side of the Ruins door, she had detected it. Behind all the laughter, jokes and impassioned stories about his brother, there was a sadness to him, a sense of despair that she had just been able to pick up on. It was hard to focus on such things when one was laughing themselves silly over puns only kindred spirits like them could find so funny. But still, the recognition continued to spring up in her mind, time and time again.

 _Why do I sense this sadness from him?_ She would think to herself, often after bidding him goodbye for the day and beginning the walk back down the long hallway that led to the staircase of her home.

These thoughts would then usually be quickly tempered with the reminder that she knew next to nothing about her mysterious friend behind the door. She had insisted after their first meeting that he not know her name, or really anything potentially telling about her at all. He had agreed to that without question. His willingness not to pry into her life or her reasons for being so guarded always left her feeling incredibly grateful. But one result of this was that he had decided not to share his own name with her either.

He had declared it in a rather playful manner, saying that they could be like anonymous “ _pun_ -pals” a play on words that had had her giggling for minutes on end. But part of her was somewhat saddened by that, especially as they spent more and more time at the door together. True, it was only fair that he kept his name to himself since she had refused to share her own. But as time went on she had begun to see him less as a casual friend to share jokes with and more as someone she deeply and truly cared about. The subtle signs of his ever-lingering despair only furthered this, driving her nurturing instincts up the wall as she tried to keep herself from commenting on them.

She hadn’t been able to ignore the deep exhaustion that sometimes creeped into his voice, the sudden deflections from certain topics, the laughs that sometimes sounded forced and the occasional jokes that seemed self-deprecating in nature. Perhaps most worrying were the times where he had said things that were just so strange.

One such instance had been when she had told him a joke she had been particularly proud of coming up with.

“Knock Knock!” She had said confidently, tapping out the two customary knocks on the door behind her back.

“who’s there?” he had replied, with the same jovial anticipation as always.

“Leena!”

“leena who?”

“ _Leena_ little closer, and I will tell you!” She had finished the joke with a massive grin on her face, covering her mouth with her paws as she failed to keep giggles from escaping her.

But there had been no familiar burst of laughter from the other side of the door, no wheezes of restrained amusement or giddy compliments on her wordplay. There was just silence. For what felt like nearly a minute, there had been nothing but silence. Her own laughter died as concern and confusion gripped her. She had opened her mouth to ask what was wrong but stopped when he beat her to it, finally responding.

“heh… you told that one last time…” He had murmured, his voice then barely over a whisper.

The statement had left her baffled. The previous day the two of them had been sharing jokes mostly on the subject of dogs, the topic sparked after her friend told her more details about the many dog monsters who made up his town. She was sure of it. She remembered specifically puns involving dogs making _woof_ -les for breakfast and the monster Doggo having a _ruff_ day. She certainly did not share her Leena joke before now. She had penned it in her diary that very morning after inspiration had struck during morning tea. It had been right there in her paws, written neatly below that day’s date, circled with red ink. His claim… made no sense.

It was then his sadness had become apparent to her again, this feeling that her friend carried with him a deep, aching sorrow that he kept carefully hidden away, only ever revealing itself during rare moments like this. It had made her soul pang in concern for him. Looking back on it, she should have said something, questioned him about it further then she had. All she had done was utter a confused response that he met with a quick dismissal and a re-directing joke. A joke so good that it had her in stitches within a few moments.

Damn him for being so funny. It was the perfect tactic for distracting her from her worries and making her forget his momentarily lapse. That day had continued on as normal after that, and her concerns didn’t return to her mind until that night where she had gone over his odd comment in her mind again and again as she struggled to fall asleep.

_heh… you told that one last time…_

Even now she couldn’t make any sense of it.

It had become clear to her that night that she and her friend were more alike than she had previously considered. After all, why would a monster with multiple jobs, an apparent town full of friends and a little brother he loved be willing to spend so much time at her door with her? It was probably the same reason that she, with her vitally important mission and many chores upkeeping the Ruins, chose to spend a good part of her day telling silly jokes with a stranger. Escape.

Her friend had been coming to the door for escape, just as she had been. The near suffocating loneliness that came with her self-induced exile had been nearly unbearable before he came along. She’d spent so, _so many_ years with no one to talk to, no friends to speak of and only her routines to occupy her. Then here showed up this kind, funny monster who was more than happy to spend hours upon hours talking and joking with her. He had been seemingly overjoyed to be spending time with a silly old lady such as herself. She had scarcely believed it to be true. But thank the stars it had been, as he provided her the escape from her loneliness that she had needed so desperately.

It had taken far too long for her to realize that he too was coming to her for escape. Escape from what though, she did not know, and at the time she had resigned herself to the idea that she never would.

But things were different now. She was no longer the guardian of the ruins and her friend was no longer just a voice behind a door. Indeed, monsterkind’s long awaited freedom from the Underground had finally come. And with it, she was at last given the opportunity to meet the monster she had grown so close to face to face.

Sans the skeleton. Toriel remembered first laying eyes upon him as he casually slid into their impromptu intervention of the fight between Frisk and Asgore. It had only taken a few words for her to realize who he was. His species and short height hadn’t surprised her, as she had been subconsciously putting the pieces together for quite some time. His proclivity towards bone puns and the way his voice came from so low when their backs were to the door had been good clues. She hadn’t been able to keep the smile off her face when she looked down at him and he had smiled right back, eye lights shining bright. Moments later, they had returned to their usual banter, as if they had always been by each other’s side in that way.

They had grown from nameless _pun_ -pals, to the closest of friends, and now finally… to family.

 _Family…_ The word that all at once produced such warmth and such pain in Toriel’s soul. It carried so many memories and emotions with it that she could never hope to sort through them all. She considered those feelings another moment before she shook herself from her musing, casting her eyes towards the subject of all her thinking that quiet spring morning.

Sans was leaning against the railing of the porch, staring out at the brilliant colors painting the sky as the sun steadily made its ascent over the horizon. His posture was casual as always, his skull resting on one hand as he kept his gaze glued on the dawn’s spectacle. Toriel couldn’t see his face, but she could guess he’d be sporting the same lazy grin that had become all too familiar over the past year. Perhaps, there would be some wistfulness in his expression, a small glimpse of the sadness Toriel knew was there. She was aware though, that if she were to speak to him, any trace of somberness would vanish and he’d face her with that smile. Always that smile.

She took a slow sip from the teacup that had been resting in her lap, unable to tear her eyes away from her friend. The tea had gone cold, surely from all the time she’d spent in thought. She drank it anyway.

The faint ache of tiredness thrumming in her head was a present reminder of what had driven them both to the porch this morning, as well as what had triggered her thoughts concerning her dear friend’s wellbeing. While nearly everyone in their household sometimes planned to go out to greet the sunrise, to take in the beauty of something denied to them for so long, this was not the case today.

In a situation that seemed to be more and more routine, both of them had come out here after facing a sleepless night. She let her mind wander back over the events of the morning as she watched the colors of the rising sun dance across Sans’ skull.

Toriel had been restless the night before, seemingly unable to find sleep no matter what she tried. Her mind was too busy, inundated with thoughts and worries constantly but especially at night. At some point, she had simply given up, deciding to just get out of bed and start preparing breakfast for everyone early… and perhaps Frisk and Papyrus’ lunch as well. Whatever would allow her to focus on something other than her fretting mind. But when she’d gone out to the kitchen, she’d found Sans there already.

He had been perched up on the counter, skull resting in his hands and muttering softly to himself. He was only in his undershirt and shorts, his jacket and slippers oddly absent. A cup of scarcely touched water sat forgotten beside him. The sight of him there was not an unusual one. While where she found him often changed, finding him up at ungodly hours of the night was almost expected at this point. Truthfully, the nights where he seemed to sleep straight through to morning were the true anomalies. Not that she was much better in that regard.

She had listened as he drew in deep, shaky breaths, each one carrying with it the quiet sound of rattling bones. She knew skeletons didn’t _need_ to breathe, but it seemed to serve as a sort of self-soothing action for him, as his nightly distresses always seemed to leave him gasping. She had stood there watching him for a while, her soul feeling as though it were being stabbed. She just wanted to help him somehow, she wanted to wrap him in her arms and say the right words to ease the terrible pain he was in. But she knew that the moment he saw her, he’d be back to acting as though everything was fine, burying all signs of his anguish under a well-mastered mask.

So inevitably, she had approached him as she always had, gently asking if he was alright once in front of him. He replied in turn, flinching only for a moment before flashing her that damn smile. His trembling breaths stopped immediately, voice quickly sounding as casual and even as ever.

“yah i’m fine tori, just couldn’t sleep. you know how it is.” He had said with a wink, before picking up the water glass and drumming his phalanges on its rim. “ _water_ you doing up? same as usual?”

She had hated how despite her exhaustion and exasperation with him at that moment, the pun still drove her lips up into a temporary smile. He really was a pro at this, and it drove her mad. Here he was, looking like he hadn’t slept in a year, eye lights pale and wavering, skull still dotted with sweat and he was still trying to act like nothing was wrong. Hell, he was trying to cheer _her_ up. It made her want to scream, and her mind whirled trying to find the will and words to confront him, call him out. In the end, all she could manage was a heavy sigh, meeting his gaze with half-lidded eyes.

“Would you like some tea my friend?” She had asked, voice rather dull.

His smile had become somewhat of a grimace, clearly noticing her less than stellar mood. He was smart to just give a small nod, setting the water cup back down.

“sure t, sounds nice… thanks”

They had spent the next few minutes in silence, only broken by the soft sound of the tea brewing. Neither said a word, sharing in a ritual that was both comforting and disquieting. Sans had stared out the window into the darkness of the night, eye lights growing dim. Toriel’s tongue had burned with questions she wanted to levy at him, frustrations she wanted to voice. But as usual, she said nothing. Any attempts at getting honest answers out of him had long proven to be fruitless and she couldn’t quell the worry that further attempts would only push him away.

It was a pathetic cycle really. A big part of their relationship was originally built on their willingness not to pry into the other’s life. It was the only way their odd friendship had been able to survive before, where they were both content with not knowing the other’s story. But this barrier they had built between them prevented them from growing any closer. They were stuck. They both cared about each other too much to ignore the other’s problems. They were too close now, spending nearly every day in each other’s presence. Trying to abide by their old rules was maddening.

She had almost laughed at the absurd sadness of it all before her attention had been pulled back to the teapot as it began to whistle. She had quickly pulled it off before its noise woke the house’s other occupants. Tilting it, she had poured two cups of tea, the smell alone perking her up a bit.

She had moved to hand Sans his cup, but before she could, he had hopped down from the counter. Looking up at her with that same wide grin, he reached to take the cup from her.

“thanks tori.” he had said with another wink, lifting the cup to his teeth to take a small sip before gesturing towards the door to the porch with a little jerk of his skull.

“it’ll be dawn in half an hour, how bout we spend this quali- _tea_ time out there and watch it.” He had quipped. His voice still sounded steady but Toriel didn’t miss the slight tremble in his hands.

This time she had managed to not react to the joke, keeping her expression firm. She wasn’t sure if her face looked sad, angry or something else entirely, but it had certainly seemed to communicate to him the inner conflict she was feeling. His cool façade had dwindled a bit in response, his smile falling slightly and his eyelights dimming further as he cast them away from her.

He had shied back a bit from her scrutinizing gaze then, heading for the door without waiting for her answer. After a few steps though, he suddenly staggered, whether from exhaustion or something else she did not know. But she had not missed a beat, quickly rushing to his side and wrapping an arm around him to keep him steady. She closed her other paw around his small, shaky hands, ensuring the tea cup stayed still and didn’t slosh any of its contents onto him.

He had stiffened a bit under her touch, but just for a moment, his usual composure returning quickly. “heh, clumsy…” he had commented in an amused tone, but Toriel heard it again in his voice, that terrible sadness.

She had worried her lip with her fangs, her soul feeling as though it were twisting inside her. He had almost collapsed, and that’s all he had to say? Despite her internal anger, no words of admonishment or worry escaped her. She had just murmured a soft “Come now” and begun helping him towards the door once he seemed ready. As always, she had just held her tongue and went on as if his moment of weakness had never occurred. It made her feel ill.

Once outside neither had said anything. He had kindly shrugged off her paw with a reassuring smile and went to lean against the railing, setting his teacup on it beside him. She had watched after him a moment, ensuring he didn’t stumble again, before going to sit on the nearby porch swing. The silence between them had stretched on, giving way to the sounds of the night. Sans kept his gaze on the heavens as the stars slowly faded, yielding to the oncoming day. Toriel sat lost still in her worries. Her previous hope that giving up on sleep would stall her endless thoughts had been thoroughly dashed. There would be no rest for her mind, not when her friend was hurting like this. Not when she didn’t know what pained him or how to help him. Sans watched the sky, but she kept her eyes on him.

Toriel blinked, once again forcing herself out of her reverie. She was vaguely surprised to see how much higher the sun was. Before she had become lost in her thoughts, it had only halfway crested the horizon. Now its full form was in sight, bathing the world below in its radiance. It was beautiful, as it always was. But hell, the lack of sleep was really getting to her, more than she expected. She took another long sip of cold tea, hoping it would give her the boost she needed.

The warmth of the sun’s rays seeped into her fur, a sensation that forced a smile to her face. They may have been free for over a year now, but there was no getting use to the glorious gift that the sun was. Humans surely would never appreciate the sunrise the way monsters did.

“that was sure a _sun_ -sational one, huh tori?”

The sudden voice at her side made her jump slightly. She turned to see that Sans had somehow appeared beside the porch swing. He hadn’t made a sound walking over, and she had only taken her eyes off of him for a second. She couldn’t be sure if this had been one of his “shortcuts” or just the result of her spacing out. Whatever the case, she took another sip from her cup before answering, downing the last of the tea.

“It certainly was, my friend…” She replied with a small smile. “It is always a wonder, no matter how often I see it.” She paused, anxiously tapping her claws on the side of her teacup.

“Are…are you feeling better?” She asked finally, turning in the swing to better face him.

Sans’ smile grew a bit sheepish, but he nodded. “yah, tea and a good sunrise really does the trick. how about you?”

“ _This is not about me you bonehead.”_ She thought in exasperation. His words gave her no comfort either. While he did look a little better, it was like saying a drought blighted flower looked better after few drops of rain. Whatever ailed his mind clearly could not be chased away by a little tea in the sun. The deep, dark circles under his eye sockets and the way he was leaning so heavily on the arm of the porch swing spoke volumes. Why did he have to lie to her?

Then again, her instinct was to lie right back, to tell him that she was also fine and definitely not exhausted and practically sick with worry. If she wanted to avoid being a total hypocrite she needed to heed her own advice. Perhaps there was a shred of hope that he’d be less quick to lie if he saw her being more honest herself. It was worth a try at least. She took a deep breath and let it out in a weary sigh.

“This was nice, lovely even. It never disappoints... But the of lack of sleep is not doing me any favors. My mind has been so restless lately.” She said, meeting his gaze with a sad smile.

She set the now empty tea cup on the swing beside her and reached over to gently lay a paw on his shoulder. He blinked up at her in surprise, but made no move to stop her.

“And… I must admit, I am very worried for you, my friend.” Her feigned smile fell and her tone grew pained. “We end up out here far too often… You do not sleep… You have not been eating much… and your nightmares, they just seem to be getting- “

“tori.” He spoke his nickname for her suddenly, cutting her off.

His eyelights were wavering as he looked up at her, the true level of his fatigue much more visible in his expression. “don’t worry about me… alright? you have enough on your plate already.”

He reached up and wrapped a hand around the paw on his shoulder, letting her help support him. Toriel was unsure if it was an affectionate gesture or if he was just trying to keep himself steady. Indeed, his limbs still trembled a bit with an occasional faint rattle.

“i’m fine tori… really. It’s not as bad as you think.” He assured her with a wide smile.

He was trying hard to be convincing and somehow that only made Toriel’s soul ache all the more.

She opened her mouth to argue with him, but the words died within her and she shut it again. No, she didn’t have the energy she needed for this right now. She wouldn’t be able to match his ability to deflect her attempts to get through to him. She’d let this be… for now. It had been enough to convince her that her worries were not unfounded. Sans needed help and she couldn’t just sit by and do nothing, not anymore. She needed to think… and get some sleep. Then maybe she could figure out the best way to handle this.

She heaved another sigh and looked at him with a defeated expression. Slowly, she pulled her paw away and set in back in her lap, casting her eyes towards the horizon once more. She may have been giving up for now, but she wasn’t about to let him think his lying had convinced her at all. She had pretended to be fooled by his act far too often, no more. It did make her feel a little guilty, but she knew it was just one of the steps that had to be taken. Sans needed to know that his attempts to hide his pain didn’t only hurt him, but those who loved him as well.

For a short time, Sans just stood where he was and she could feel his gaze on her. She refused to look at him, but she hoped her intentions were sinking in. Soft footsteps signaled his eventual decision to round the swing and walk up to her other side. He then carefully climbed up to sit next to her, a task that took a bit of effort given his short stature. She did her best not to show it, but she watched him carefully out of the corner of her eye, ensuring she could reach out to grab him if he slipped. Once up, the skeleton sat in silence for a bit longer before giving her a gentle nudge with his hand.

“hey…”

At the sound of his voice, she finally turned to look at him again. His smile was weak, and that dreaded sadness showed in the pale glow of his eyelights. Stars, he looked so tired. She could feel any sternness she had willed into her expression melt away into concern once more.

“i’m sorry tori… i’m sorry i’ve been such a mess lately. but please, try not to worry.” His words were interrupted briefly as a yawn escaped him. “really though…i’m sorry. i know this stuff upsets you.”

Toriel regarded him solemnly for a moment, then looped one arm around the small skeleton and pulled him close. Relief showed plainly in his expression and he seemed happy to accept the somewhat awkward side-hug.

“It does upset me.” She confirmed softly, closing her eyes. “But… I understand, my friend. I accept your apology.”

She felt him move closer, enough that she could faintly detect the rhythmic pulses of magic from his soul. His skull rested lightly against her side.

“thanks tori…” he murmured, voice genuine. Then something like a small chuckle escaped him. “you’re the _baaaa_ -est” he added, and she could practically hear the massive grin that came with the pun.

She shouldn’t have, but she couldn’t help but let out a wheezy bleat of laughter at that, punctuated by a few undignified snorts as well. He was doing it again, distracting her with puns. But she figured she’d let it slide this time since she had given up trying to get answers out of him for the day. All things considered, it had gone better than expected.

She was surprised and grateful that he had chosen to stay and apologize when she expressed the extent of her worries. Usually he did whatever he could to get out of any conversation relating to his problems. He was a master of finding ways out of things after all. This small act of care on his part gave her hope that getting him to open up to her was indeed possible. That hope kept a genuine smile on her face as she recovered from her bout of laughter.

She was about to shoot back a pun of her own when she heard the soft sound of snoring coming from beside her. She blinked, pulling back a bit to look at Sans. Sure enough, he was fast asleep, snuggled up against her side. The sight brought another exasperated shake of her head, but her smile remained. Getting a full night’s rest may have been a near impossible task for him lately, but he was still the king of napping the day away. Even if she knew it would do little in the face of his larger problems, she was happy to see him find rest at last.

Shifting slightly, she moved to better support him, tucking him close in a more comfortable position. And even though she knew he didn’t get cold the same way she did, she slipped her shawl off her shoulders in the midst of repositioning and laid it over him. Perhaps it was just her nurturing instincts, but she couldn’t help but feel he looked even smaller as well as more exposed without his usual hoodie. Satisfied, she shot him another fond smile before turning her gaze back to the horizon.

The sun had crept ever higher now, the colors of dawn beginning to give way to the blue of day. Birds were starting to sing in the trees around them and a fresh morning breeze brought with it the scents of dew and wildflowers. Already, the little things seemed to indicate that it would be another beautiful day. Papyrus would be waking up soon, with Frisk following in a few hours. She really should be going inside to prepare breakfast; the early start could give her the chance to make something really special after all.

But it could wait, Papyrus was more than happy to make his own meals and Frisk was always grateful to have whatever she prepared. Dear child that they were. Besides, there was someone who needed her more right now. Someone who she wished she could do so much more for….

She closed her eyes again, letting her mind piece together the fragments of a plan that she had begun formulating over the course of the morning. She could not sit idly by and be a helpless witness to her friend’s secret pain anymore. Whatever it took, she was going to get him to talk to her. She was going to find a way to help him and be more than just a fair-weather friend. He deserved it, even if he himself didn’t think so. The process was not going to be easy on either of them, but she’d push through it, for his sake. Today had been a start, the next step would come soon and that day would be the real challenge. But she thought she had a good way of approaching it in mind.

As she decided when her next major step would take place, the soft sound of her friend’s snoring as well as the soothing sounds of early morning finally won over her insomnia. Before she knew it, she had slipped into sleep, leaning back against the porch swing and subconsciously still hugging Sans close as she too began to snore.

The two of them slept there long into the morning, rocked by the swing as it was pushed lightly by the breeze. Whatever worries or torments plagued them during their nights alone did not come to afflict them again here. For the moment, the pair knew peace in their dreams and their souls felt warm within them.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------

((BEAUTIFUL Cover art for this [fic's spanish version ](https://www.wattpad.com/story/159152378-ut-todas-estas-piezas-rotas-soriel-by-paddiefrog)by Gabriella_Lu/Lau))

 


	2. Relent

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so it continues... 
> 
> Spanish version of this chapter translated by the wonderful Gabriella_Lu/Lau can be found here!: https://www.wattpad.com/624243287-ut-todas-estas-piezas-rotas-soriel-by-paddiefrog

It was two days later when Toriel decided to enact her plan. The timing was perfect. Frisk would be spending the weekend at Kid’s house to celebrate the monster child’s birthday. It was an event they had been very excited for, enlisting Toriel’s help to sew the gift they had in mind. She hated to brag, but she had to admit the matching striped ponchos had turned out especially nice.

Thankfully, the child was bringing along Flowey as well. Not that she really minded watching the flower monster. He just tended to need a lot of supervision, and she was determined to keep her focus on a certain skeleton today.

Papyrus would be busy too, as he was set to be going on a short trip with Undyne and Alphys for some sort of “beach training.” She had no idea what something like that could be, but she hoped it was safe and that he would have fun. It would take at least two days, according to Undyne. Toriel hoped that turned out to be true, as it would give her exactly the scenario she was hoping for. This weekend would just be Sans and her, with the house to themselves.

Such a scenario was not uncommon. Indeed, the two of them tended to be the least social of their family circle, often leading to them both choosing to stay home if they were given the choice. They’d attend family or work-related events surely, but neither felt very inclined to pursue much beyond that. Nearly a century of living alone in the ruins had done nothing for Toriel’s social confidence. And Sans… well he’d avoid any situation that demanded his constant engagement if he could. The occasional visits to Grillby's to see his old friends notwithstanding.

So often the pair found themselves home alone. Toriel very much enjoyed these times, as it reminded her of those early days when it had been just the two of them. Having a noisy home full of family was wonderful, it was everything she ever dreamed of. But the relaxing days she spent with just her dear friend’s company were every bit as valuable. She could be her true self around him, in a way she simply couldn’t with others. Perhaps he still was a source of escape for her, even now.

Usually during a weekend like this they’d pass the time together baking, watching television or simply just talking the hours away as they used to. All of this _pun_ ctuated with their customary shooting of jokes back and forth, of course. Thank the stars they didn’t have any direct next-door neighbors. She was sure the unrestrained laughing fits she often succumbed to during these days with Sans would have earned her many noise complaints.

But there would be none of that this time. Her goal needed to be realized before she could ever hope to quell her worries enough to return to such activities. She was “filled with determination” as Frisk would put it. She would see this through, no matter how difficult it would surely be for both of them. She only hoped that what she was about to do would not create a rift between them, marking those fond times together as things of the past.

Toriel was still lingering anxiously on that thought when she was brought back to the present by a gentle tug on her dress. She peered down to see Frisk smiling up at her, their overnight bag slung over their shoulder. Flowey was peeking out from under the bag's flap, but retreated with a grumble at the sight of her. She paid him little mind and smiled down at Frisk as they lifted their hands to sign to her.

(I am heading out now, Kid is meeting me halfway at the park.) They signed, grinning all the while.

Their movements were a bit hasty, clearly showing their eagerness to set off. Toriel chuckled at the sight, leaning down to plant a kiss on their forehead.

“Very well my child, just be sure to keep your phone with you and on at all times.” She said, briefly wrapping them in a hug. “I love you dear, have fun and text me when you get there okay?”

Frisk made a soft affirmative sound, returning the hug in earnest. She gave them one final squeeze before releasing them, watching as they rushed to the front door. They turned to sign a quick (Love you Mom! Goodbye!) before hurrying outside and on to the path that led to Newer Home’s park.

Toriel watched after her child until they were out of sight, her soul brimming with maternal affection. It was good to see Frisk getting the chance to have fun like any child should. Sometimes she felt they spent too much time and energy towards their role as ambassador. The world of politics and reporters was no place for such a young one in her opinion. Though she did have to admit they handled the role exceptionally well. Perhaps she shouldn’t be so quick to think such things, especially considering everything that Frisk had achieved in the past. After all, how many children could say they helped save an entire civilization?

That notion kept a proud smile on her face as she turned away from the window. She had intended to return to the dishes she’d been washing earlier, but the sound of the skeleton brothers’ voices from the living room drew her to go there instead. From the sound of it, Papyrus was getting ready to leave as well.

“I AM _TRIPLE_ CHECKING SANS. I MUST ENSURE THAT I SHOW UP TO THIS TRAINING WITH ALL THE NECCASARY EQUIPMENT. UNDYNE WAS VERY SPECIFIC IN HER INSTRUCTIONS.” Papyrus said with his usual dramatic flair as she entered the room.

The younger skeleton was sitting on the floor, rummaging through a large, overstuffed backpack. Sans was lying on his stomach on the couch behind him, pillowing his skull on his crossed arms as he watched his brother with mild amusement.

“heh, k bro. but I gotta ask, what kind of training requires you to bring a pool floaty?” Sans asked, eyeing the item in question as Papyrus attempted to cram it into one of the bag’s pockets.

“EH… WELL…” Papyrus paused and lifted the large, inflatable ring, looking at it incredulously. “I DON’T REALLY KNOW. BUT WHATEVER ITS PURPOSE IS, I’M SURE IT IS IMPORTANT!”

With that, he gave another go at stuffing it into the bag, managing to get it halfway in this time. That seemed to satisfy him, as he simply zipped up the pocket to the point the pool toy was squished enough that it would stay in place… probably. Toriel giggled lightly at the sight and stepped over to them, gaining both of their attention.

“All set Papyrus?” She asked, looking over his overstuffed bag. “You certainly seem to be well prepared.”

The skeleton gave a confident nod, giving the bag a pat. “INDEED! ASIDE FROM WHAT UNDYNE REQUESTED OF ME, I HAVE CAREFULLY CONSIDERED EVERY POSSIBLE SITUATION AND PACKED ACCORDINGLY FOR EACH. NOW IT CAN BE ASSURED THAT THIS BEACH TRAINING WILL BE A GLORIOUS SUCCESS!”

He ended his little speech by striking a dramatic pose, placing his hands on his hips and puffing out his chest. Sans gave a soft chuckle from his place on the couch. “i dunno pap, kind of sounds like this “training” might just be undie’s excuse for the three of you to go on a beach trip for a few days.”

Papyrus shot him an annoyed glance, his bravado fading. “SANS, DON’T BE RIDICULOUS! I AM SURE THAT THIS WILL BE A VERY-” He was cut off by the text message notification from his phone, a few notes from one of Mettaton’s songs.

He plucked it out of the front pocket of his bag and looked at the screen before leaping to his feet. “GOODNESS SHE’S ALREADY FINISHED PACKING! I HAVE TO GO! THE GREAT PAPYRUS MUST NOT BE LATE!” He shouted, scrambling to pull the massive bag over his shoulders.

He ran over and squeezed Toriel in a quick hug, which she barely had time to reciprocate. “GOODBYE MISS TORIEL! TAKE CARE! I’LL SEND YOU PICTURES!” He spoke rapidly, the words coming so fast she hardly had time to register them.

She had opened her mouth to reply, but he had already let her go and rushed over to his brother. He scooped Sans up from the couch and hugged him tight, an act Sans seemed to be ready for, unlike her. The older skeleton returned the hug gladly, wrapping his arms around Papyrus’ neck.

“GOODBYE SANS! DON’T BE TOO LAZY ALRIGHT? I KNOW HOW YOU GET WITHOUT A COOL GUY LIKE ME LOOKING OUT FOR YOU!”

For just a moment, Toriel thought she saw it again, a flash of pain in Sans’ expression. But it was gone as quickly as it had come. His signature smile was put back to place and he leaned back to shoot his brother a wink.

“no promises bro. heh. hope you have a good time though. say hi to the lovebirds for me. i’m _shore_ it will be great.” He quipped, grin widening as he emphasized the pun.

“UGHHH” Papyrus groaned in irritation. “DON’T MAKE ME DROP YOU BROTHER…”

Toriel covered her mouth with a paw, trying to hold in her laughter but not quite succeeding. Sans winked at her as well, which only made it worse. She watched as Papyrus set Sans down and quickly began heading for the door, his overburdened bag making all manner of noises as he moved.

“I MUST GO NOW! GOODBYE AGAIN YOU TWO! SEE YOU ON MONDAY! DON’T MISS ME TOO MUCH! NYEH HEH HEH!!” He yelled over to them from the door, waving furiously.

Toriel lifted a paw to wave back, but he had already charged out the door, cackling to himself all the while. She let out a weak chuckle of defeat. That monster moved a mile a minute when he wanted to. She hadn’t been able to get a word in during that whole exchange. At least he hadn’t seemed bothered by her lack of response. Still, she would have to try and remember to send a proper text to him later.

She cast her gaze back down at Sans, who was still staring at the door his brother had left through. His expression was… hard to read. His smile was still in place, but it didn’t quite reach his eye sockets. That sadness was there once again, dulling the lights of his eyes a bit. Situations like this were perhaps the most consistent in bringing out that side of him. Something about his brother leaving, even for something like a short weekend trip, seemed to bother Sans far more than he would admit. She knew the brothers were very close, but this seemed to go beyond simply missing one’s sibling. Something like that wouldn’t cause the kind of despair and even… fear? that she could see lingering in his expression.

Toriel felt a sharp pang in her soul, as the sight reminded her of her plans for their time alone together over the next few days. Right now, all she wanted to do was cheer him up, not confront him. The sudden urge to back out was strong, but she shook it away, reminding herself that it had to be done. For his sake. She took a deep breath, preparing the words she’d been going over again and again in her mind.

He noticed her looking at him though, and quickly composed himself as always. He faced her with a grin, tilting his head to one side a bit.

“so, tori, looks like it’s just you and me again. whaddya wanna do?” He asked.

Toriel didn’t reply immediately, the question catching her slightly off guard and scrambling her thoughts. “W-well… um…” was all she managed to get out. Sans looked a bit confused but shrugged it off.

“if you want, i recorded this documentary thing about black holes. it seems pretty interesting, it’s got interviews with all these nasa guys and even some recently updated paradigms for…”

Sans kept talking but Toriel stopped listening, the uneasy anticipation that came with what she was about to do blocking out his words. She took another steadying breath, willing herself to be stern but still gentle. Her eyes hardened and she forced strength into her voice.

“Sans.” She spoke his name, cutting off whatever he’d been saying. His previously dim eyelights sharpened as she did, snapping back to look at her with full attention.

Toriel met his gaze with equal focus, her expression both serious and concerned.

“We… we need to talk my friend.”

She swallowed, trying to drown out the last of the uncertainty from her voice. She knelt slowly down to her knees in front of him, closer to his level, hoping that way it would seem less like she was talking down to him. He watched her, his expression now openly confused and a bit nervous. Still his smile remained, if a bit shaky.

“what’s up tori? e-everything okay?” he stammered, sweat beginning to dot his skull.

She shook her head. It was now or never.

“I think I should be the one asking you that.” She replied.

Sans blinked, taking a small step back from her. After a moment though, he plastered on his fake smile again, seemingly a little relieved.

“is this about what happened two days ago? tori we did talk about this, remember? i’m _fine_. don’t worry about it.” He said, shrugging dismissively.

Toriel stayed firm though, shaking her head again. “No, Sans, you are _not_ fine. Please my friend, be honest with me. Be honest with yourself. You have been just been getting worse and worse lately… I cannot just… keep watching this happen to you. I do not wish to pry but… please…”

She softened her expression a bit, wringing her paws together. “Please, tell me what is wrong. What is hurting you Sans? Why do you have such terrible nightmares? I… I just want to be able to help…”

She trailed off briefly, waiting for a reply from him. She braced herself for how he might react.

Sans stared at her, his nervous expression returning, but there was now some guilt in the lights of his eyes too. He diverted his gaze to the floor, beginning to sweat again.

“tori… it’s… it’s not as bad as all that.” He insisted, trying and this time failing to work up his normal smile. “it’s…” He paused, shuffling his slippered feet a bit before letting out a sigh.

“it’s nothing you need to concern yourself with alright? you have enough to worry about, and really, it isn’t that big a deal.” He shrugged again, but it seemed more forced.

“i’ve had issues sleeping for years now. sure, it’s been a bit more… intense recently, but it’s nothing i haven’t dealt with before. guess i’m just not in the _night_ mind lately, heh.”

If his words were meant to lessen her worries, they had the opposite effect. Not even the pun had any effect. Instinct took over and she acted before he could speak again. She leaned forward and gathered him in her arms, hugging him close.

He froze up at first, and Toriel worried if perhaps she had acted too brashly. But then he seemed to deflate a bit, allowing the embrace and even pressing back into it slightly. Slowly, he removed his hands from his jacket pockets and returned the hug. He was unable to wrap his arms all the way around her much larger body, but he did the best he could, curling his phalanges into the fabric of her dress. Toriel took a moment to reign in her emotions before speaking again.

“Sans, please… Please let me help you. You are not a burden on me, do not ever think that. It causes me much more stress to see you hurting like this and being unable to do anything about it.”

She paused, and when he stayed silent, she continued, her tone becoming softer. “You are my dearest friend, you know that right? I owe you so much. I… I care too much for you to turn a blind eye to this… I just cannot do it anymore…”

She trailed off, tightening her grip on him slightly as she was overcome with emotion. Sans remained silent a bit longer, and Toriel began to feel him trembling again, much like he had two nights ago.

“i know…” He murmured weakly. The despair in his voice was clearer than ever and it made Toriel’s soul ache. On one hand that meant her attempts at getting him to drop his façade were working. On the other though, hearing him sound so… _empty_ was just agonizing.

She felt him press his skull into her shoulder, a defeated sigh escaping him. “look tori i… i do wish I could tell you everything, really. it’s not that i don’t trust you or anything like that…but if i did tell you…” A hollow laugh escaped him and he shook his head. “you’d never believe me, not a word of it. hell, you might end up hating me. even if you did believe me, it… it would just hurt you…”

He trailed off, and due to their close proximity, Toriel could detect the fear emanating from his soul. She let his words sink in, trying to make sense of them. Clearly, he was hiding some great secret, perhaps many. In what way did they involve _her_ though? … and why would he think they would drive her to hate him? She worried her lip with her fangs, wondering if she had possibly pried into something far deeper than she had expected. Of all the possible things she’d theorized could be the cause of her friend’s inner torment, none involved anything regarding Toriel herself.

Still, she held strong and steeled herself again. She’d made a commitment that’d she’d see this through and she intended to honor it. She pulled back from the hug a bit, just enough so she could meet his gaze again. He resisted letting go of her the same way he’d resisted allowing the hug in the first place. But upon meeting her eyes once more he seemed to relax and released his grip enough to step back a little. He was making little effort to hide his unease now, eyelights dim and wavering as he gave up on keeping up a smile. Toriel gave his arms a reassuring squeeze before speaking again.

“Sans, I promise you, I will listen to whatever you are willing to share with me. And I _will_ believe you. I have no reason not to. Whatever is causing you pain is undeniably real. There is no doubt in my mind about that. Also…” She smiled warmly at him, eyes softening. “I could never hate you my friend, you mean too much to me. I know I have a certain… history of carrying grudges. But just as I was never able to truly hate Asgore, not like I thought I did, whatever you admit to me could never make me hate you. I promise. I may be concerned or disappointed, even shocked, depending on what it is. And I will certainly help you decide what can be done for it, but I will never hate you.”

Her eyes became slightly haunted and she closed them briefly. “Truly my friend, none of us are sinless. Our dire situation underground led us all to do desperate things we now regret. But the past is behind us, and we all are doing what we can now to heal and move on. I think talking about this will help you do that too.”

There was a pause and then Sans let out another humorless wheeze of laughter, covering his face with one hand. His smile stretched back into place, but it seemed to be a desperate act rather than a facetious one.

“tori… i just… don’t think i can…there’s so much and it’s all so confusing. i’m not even sure how much of it is real anymore. i wouldn’t know where to start… and even if you say all that, I know you would never look at me the same again if you knew… and i just… don’t know if I can handle that.”

The admission came with him tightening the grip he had on her sleeve with his free hand. Toriel wanted terribly to pull him into her arms again, but she resisted, determined not to let herself back down from this. She settled for gently teasing away his tightly curled phalanges from their hold on her and wrapping them in her paw instead, running her thumb pad over his knuckle bones. This did seem to help him relax a bit, as he accepted the action with no uncertainty this time and closed his hand around hers gratefully. It was a small gesture that made Toriel’s soul warm with hope once more.

“Listen my friend.” She began again, letting her voice take on a far gentler tone. “I know that this is difficult, there is no need to rush things. We can take all the time you need. Even if you are not sure of your memories or whatever else you decide to share, it will help you to talk about them. I am certain of it. It will be okay.”

Sans didn’t reply, continuing to hide his face from her. She could feel his hand trembling, even in her grip. She could tell he was listening to her though, so she continued, still stroking his hand all the while.

“I think I know how to make this a little easier.” She murmured. “I would not feel right about asking you to talk about these things without some admittance on my part too. That is why I would like to tell you more about myself and my life as well. You said you feel as though I would never look at you the same, well that is true I suppose, but it does not have to be a bad thing. I am hoping we will both be able to see each other in a new light after this. I am sure we can look at each other with a deeper understanding than before. It will be difficult, yes, but I believe it could bring us closer than ever, not drive us apart.”

That seemed to get through to the skeleton and he finally willed himself to drop his hand and meet her gaze again. He looked so _exhausted_ and certainly not just physically. His eyelights were dim now to the point they appeared more hazy gray than white. Still, he kept them on her while the corners of his smile turned up just a bit. It still wasn’t a real smile, but it was closer than before.

“heh, so… you want us to just info-dump everything about ourselves in the hopes that it will somehow make our problems disappear?” There was a bit of bitter sarcasm to his voice, but he mostly just sounded sad.

Toriel's instinct was to get frustrated with him, but she willed herself to stay the course. She could hardly blame him for feeling unsure about this. Letting yourself be emotionally open with someone was not easy, especially when you’ve spent your whole life doing the opposite. She understood those feelings better than most would. She shook her head and met his gaze again, eyes firm.

“No, my friend. Nothing is going to make our problems disappear. But one must know another’s problems in order to help them properly. Healing is a process that takes time, but it is a far more daunting process alone. This is not about fixing ourselves, it is about taking a step. I for one know that it would be good for me to tell someone else of my past. I have not done so in… many, many years. Getting it off my chest would be a relief and help me be more trusting again.” She softened her expression once more, scarlet eyes shining with warmth. “You feel the same, do you not?”

Toriel felt a momentary gratefulness for all her years giving improvised speeches as queen. It seemed to always give her some idea of what to say, whatever the circumstances. She could tell her words had succeeded this time too. Sans blinked at her, then slowly diverted his gaze to his slippers. He stayed like that for a bit before squeezing her hand tighter as he finally let out a deep, weary sigh.

“yah…. ok….” his voice came out barely above a whisper. “i’ll… try to tell you what i can tori…” He didn’t lift his skull, but his smile softened a little at the edges, some of the tension melting away.

Toriel’s face broke into a grateful smile, eyes nearly tearing up as relief washed over her. She gave up trying to resist and hugged him again, almost picking him up off his feet. Sans was slower to reciprocate this time but seemingly more from exhaustion than hesitation. He carefully wrapped his arms around her neck as he was lifted, letting her bear most of his weight. Toriel was happy to do so, leaning back to sit down and carry him with her to the floor.

“Thank you my friend, that is all I can ask of you. I thank you for your trust and I promise to help you through this as best I can.” She said, feeling her soul thrum happily within her.

Sans was silent in response for a few moments before tightening his grip on her. When he spoke again his tone became more serious.

“tori… y-you need to promise me something else, okay?” he said as he shuddered lightly, causing a muffled rattling sound.

Toriel made a soft affirmative sound in her throat, waiting for him to continue.

“you… you can’t tell pap any of this… or anyone else for that matter. b-but especially not him, ok? p-please just…” he trailed off, perhaps embarrassed by the sudden desperate nature of his tone.

Toriel felt her soul ache for him again. Truthfully, she felt that he should be telling his brother these things too, for both their sakes. But that was a matter that could be addressed another day. For now, Sans needed to rid himself of the darkness he’d been carrying alone for far too long.

“Sans, whatever you choose to tell me stays between us. I will not breathe a word of it to Papyrus or anyone else, I promise.” She vowed, mirroring his serious tone and squeezing him tight.

Sans seemed satisfied with her answer, some of the tension leaving him. He let out a quiet sigh of relief before tightening his grip on her in return.

“ok… thanks…” Was all he managed to get out in reply.

It was more than enough for Toriel though. Her soul was alight with gratitude as she reveled in the fact that she had, at long last, gotten through to him. It wasn’t anywhere near over yet, but she had managed to take the first massive step without him brushing her off or short-cutting away from the situation. The fact that he was finally agreeing to talk to her about this filled her with more gratitude than she could properly convey. Now, she needed to prove that she was worthy of the trust he had allowed himself to put in her. Any mishandling of this situation could have dire consequences for her friend’s mental wellbeing. She was determined to not let him down.

The two remained in their embrace a while longer, both calming from the spurred emotions brought on by the confrontation. The whole thing had brought out a strange surge of protectiveness in Toriel, only heightened now that she was holding him in her arms again. It was somewhat like the desire she had to protect her children, but also quite different. It was making her soul feel all fluttery in a way that was familiar and yet still new to her. She tried not to dwell too much on it, even as it seemed to be bringing a sudden heat to her cheeks. Right now, she needed to comfort her friend.

Sans had buried his face into her shoulder and was gripping at her tightly again. She squeezed him right back, hoping it communicated her support. Sitting proved to be a good idea as his trembling from before began to slowly cease. She rubbed small circles into his backbone, happy to offer him the proper physical comfort she’d been dying to for so long. He said nothing for a few minutes as she did so and Toriel began to wonder if he had drifted off to sleep. But eventually, he shifted back a bit and lessened his grip, speaking again in a subdued voice.

“so…uh, do you… just want to talk here then? on the floor?” he asked, the barest bit of humor trying to creep its way into the question. It mostly failed, but she smiled at the effort regardless.

“Well if you are okay with walking a bit, I did have a place in mind.” She replied, releasing him from the hug to face him again.

The skeleton looked like he was considering it, clearly part of him wanting to say no just so he didn’t have to get up. “i could just shortcut us there if you tell me where it is.” He offered.

“No, no. That will only tire you more. Besides, it is but a minute’s walk, nothing more.” She said as she rose slowly from the floor.

She winced slightly as her legs, terribly cramped from all the kneeling she had done, finally stretched out. Once up, her smile returned and she held out a paw to Sans who had remained sitting on the floor.

“Come, I will help you if you need it.” She assured, voice warm.

Sans blinked up at her for a moment before letting out another weak, humorless chuckle. He reached up and took her paw, letting her help him to his feet. As it had before, the startling lightness of her friend surprised her. It shouldn’t have, seeing as it was only logical that a monster made of only magic and bones would weigh little, but she often failed to acknowledge it. It took almost no strength at all to pull him up. He likely weighed less than even her human child did. Considering his usual composed and laid-back attitude, it was easy to forget just how fragile her friend really was.

That thought kept her movements gentle as she made sure he could stand okay. When he didn’t topple over, she gave him another smile before beginning to turn towards the kitchen. She paused slightly though, when she realized he hadn’t let go of her paw. He seemed fairly out of it, so she reasoned he just did not realize what he was doing. She didn’t mind though, in fact, she had to admit it was rather endearing and brought back that odd, warm, fluttery feeling in her soul.

She made no move to free her paw as they both headed out of the room towards the front door of the house. A minor trepidation gripped her as they walked. She was unable to keep from wondering just what she was about to hear and how it would affect her relationship with Sans in the end. Her mind was abuzz with guesses, but she knew that none of them would likely be anywhere close to the truth. She gave Sans’ hand a small squeeze, letting it be a sort of goodbye to the current image of Sans as she knew him.

Before the day’s end, they would be seeing each other in a new light, as Sans had previously mentioned. It was a frightening thought in a way, but she had hope that what came next would only strengthen their bond. It was that resolve that steeled her as she opened the front door and stepped out into the midday sun, Sans following right behind her.


	3. Weeping Willow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A long talk beneath a tree. 
> 
> Spanish version of this chapter translated by the wonderful Gabriella_Lu/Lau can be found here!: https://www.wattpad.com/625037340-ut-todas-estas-piezas-rotas-soriel-by-paddiefrog

The destination Toriel had in mind for their discussion was a large, aged weeping willow tree that grew beside their home. It was a lovely old tree, with long leafy tendrils that formed a sort of dome that shielded those who chose to sit beneath it from the outside world. Toriel had spent many an afternoon reading in its pleasant shade. There was also a small creek that the tree overlooked that made the area a great spot for hunting all manner of bugs. Today though, she was hoping the peaceful atmosphere and the somewhat secluded nature of the willow dome would help Sans feel relaxed throughout the difficult process they were about to face.

As they approached the tree, Sans stayed silent while still gripping her paw lightly. She had practically felt his nervousness worsening ever since they left the house, as the reality of what he had agreed to do began to sink in. She gave his hand a reassuring squeeze, and shot him a gentle smile as she pushed aside the willow’s leafy tendrils so they could enter the space beyond. He seemed reluctant to meet her eyes but offered a soft “…thanks.” Before stepping inside.

There was a satisfying drop in temperature as they entered the dome. The shafts of light that made it through the layers of leaves above cast dappled shadows on the two as they made their way over to the tree’s large trunk. Toriel was first to sit down, picking a spot where the roots formed a sort of natural sitting area. Sans walked to her side but remained standing a while longer, finally releasing her paw. His expression was unreadable and eye sockets nearly totally dark. It was clear he was terribly tense, about as far from his usual laid back self as she had ever seen him.

She began to worry that the prospect of this was starting to overwhelm him. Before she could open her mouth to speak though, he finally leaned back against the tree and slid to the ground with a soft thump. His now free hands returned to their usual place in his pockets as he looked around the dome of leaves around them.

“This tree is lovely, is it not?” Toriel said, shifting slightly to a more comfortable position and turning to face him a bit more. “I find that it is where I tend to go when I need a little peace. I could not think of a better place for us to talk than here.” Her lips curled into a warm smile as she looked up into the waving sea of leaves and branches. “Sometimes, I swear this old willow has a soul that can communicate with ours. When I come here and sit beneath its branches, I often feel as though I am greeting a longtime friend. I guess It is good that us old souls are naturally drawn to each other, or else this willow would be left... soli _tree._ "

She returned her gaze back to Sans as she delivered the pun, grinning at him playfully. The joke was meant to help ease his nerves, and while it didn’t seem to do much for that, he did meet her eyes again. His stiff smile twitched a bit, but he didn’t react to the joke beyond that. The tension that gripped him clearly hadn’t lessened, but he no longer looked a moment from shortcutting away at least.

“h-heh… g-good one…” He managed weakly, finally breaking the silence.

Toriel didn’t miss the faint tremble to his voice. She looked at him sympathetically, all the while trying to think of a way to help him better relax. This process would do him little good if he was so on edge. After a moment, an idea popped into her head.

“My friend, perhaps it would help if you brought out GB? He always seems to be good at cheering you up. Plus, I have not seen him in a while.” She suggested.

Sans blinked at her suggestion then furrowed his brow ridges in consideration. After a beat, he raised his left hand out of his pocket and his left eyelight flashed bright blue and yellow in turn. There was a strange distortion in the space above their heads for a moment before a Gaster Blaster burst into existence. It was a smaller one this time, about double the size of a certain small, white dog. The floating skull shook itself into awareness then turned to look down at them. Its eyelights gleamed happily as it recognized them both and rushed down to greet them.

Toriel giggled lightly as the blaster affectionately nuzzled her with its muzzle. It seemed to vibrate slightly as something like a reverberating purr escaped it.

“Hello GB, wonderful to see you again.” She greeted him warmly, patting the crown of his head.

GB let out a pleased grumbling sound in reply before darting over to Sans. The blaster trilled with glee as he cuddled up against him, playfully nudging his wielder's side and trying to wriggle into his arms. Sans was sluggish to reciprocate any of the affection though and GB took notice. He floated back a bit and looked at Sans in confusion, a faint indication of a frown on his face.

“hey gb, s-sorry bud, but i didn’t bring you out to p-play this time.” The skeleton said, blinking as his eyelight slowly returned to normal. It seemed that his uneasy state made quelling his magic back down a more difficult task.

GB warbled in a questioning tone and tilted his head, which for him meant tilting his entire body. Toriel caught his attention and waved him over, scooping the blaster up in her paws so that he faced her.

“Listen GB.” She said softly, with a bit of a playfully secretive tone. “Sans and I are going to talk about some important things, but some of it might upset him. I would very much appreciate it if you would sit with him and keep him company while we do. I am sure it would be very helpful. Could you do that for me?”

GB’s eyelights lit up bright with understanding and he nodded enthusiastically. Toriel smiled and gave him another pat. “Thank you, friend.” She said, tone warm with gratitude.

Sans shot Toriel a somewhat dry look, but it faded back into dull anxiety rather quickly. She gave him a small apologetic smile as she released GB and the blaster hurried back over to Sans. He moved slower this time upon reaching the skeleton, gently nudging Sans’ arm up so he could wriggle underneath it. Sans allowed this, taking his hands out of his pockets and laying them on top of the blaster as he settled into his lap.

GB pressed close to Sans’ middle, closed his eye sockets and began purring again, louder this time and with more of a noticeable vibration. Toriel watched as Sans absently began running a hand up and down the length of the blaster’s muzzle. The effect was small but, she could see some of the tension in his body leave him.

She gave him a little more time to relax before she forced herself to speak up again. Hard as this was, she couldn’t back out now. Sans needed this, they both needed this.

“So, my friend…” She began gently, attempting to meet his gaze again. “Would it be easier if I started first? I am more than happy t-“

“no…” he interrupted her suddenly, pausing in his stroking motions.

Toriel blinked in surprise, but folded her hands in her lap and gave him her full attention.

Sans drew in deep, shuddering breath. “no… i n-need to go first. if I don’t start talking soon i’m going to lose the nerve to do this…. just-” He dragged a hand down his face, shutting his eye sockets briefly. “g-give me a sec, i… i need to figure out where to start.”

Toriel nodded, eyes warm with understanding. “Take your time, there is no rush.” She assured him. She was content as she waited patiently for him to speak again. For a little while, the only sound was the rustling of the leaves around them, the distant gurgle of the creek, GB’s deep purr and the soft scritch of bone on bone. Finally, his eye sockets re-opened and he met her eyes with a weary but resolved look.

“i guess… the only place to start is the beginning, right? the very beginning.” He said, eyelights becoming hazy as he turned to stare into the middle distance. Toriel could practically see the thoughts spinning through his skull, all fighting to be acknowledged into words.

“i wasn’t… made the way monsters usually make kids.” He began. “me and my bro were created artificially… in a lab. well uh- shoot i guess before i explain that i need to explain about our…” his jaw set in what seemed to be a rare display of anger. “our… _father_.” He spoke the word with such bitter sarcasm that it made a feeling of dread settle in Toriel’s soul.

“tori, answer this for me. its relevant, i promise.” He said, his gaze unmoving from the horizon. “before doctor alphys, do you remember who the previous royal scientist was?”

Toriel blinked in surprise at the sudden question and began tapping a claw against her chin as she thought about it. There definitely had been a royal scientist before Alphys, the previous one had served them since their move into New Home. They were the one serving when she still ruled alongside Asgore, the one who created the Core. But when she tried to picture their face in her mind… there was nothing. When she tried to remember their name, her thoughts raced to a certain part of her consciousness, as though by instinct knowing that it should be there… but still, there was nothing. The longer she tried to remember, the less she found she could focus and a strange lightheadedness overtook her. She rubbed her forehead gingerly as she looked back at Sans.

“I am sorry Sans, I am afraid that for some reason, I simply cannot recall who they were. Perhaps this old soul of mine is finally showing its age.” She replied, somewhat sheepishly.

Sans shook his head, tapping his phalanges on one of GB’s horns. “nah, it’s not you, old lady. that’s just it, no one can remember him. he fell into his own creation, the core, and that shattered him across time and space. only i seemed to keep my memories of him… there’s a reason for that but i’ll get to it later.”

Toriel tried not to gape at him, scarcely able to understand how he could reveal such shocking information with such a casual tone. She knew that it was likely a way to cope with the situation, but the way he spoke made it seem like he had said all of this before, to the point that the repetition was boring him.

“Wait, wait just let me make sure I am understanding.” Toriel interjected quickly, waving a paw. “You are saying that the previous royal scientist... died? Not only that, was erased from everyone’s memory? How…? Certainly, something like that is not possible…”

Sans flinched ever so slightly, a despairing look crossing his features. “heh… i warned you that you weren’t going to believe me tori.” He said softly, subconsciously tightening his grip on GB. If the blaster noticed or was bothered, he didn’t show it, still purring all the while.

Toriel shook her head firmly, moving forward to lay a paw on Sans’ shoulder. “No, Sans I do believe you, I apologize If I made it seem otherwise. It is just hard for me to wrap my head around is all. Just, slow down a little okay?” She requested with what she hoped was a comforting smile.

She felt Sans relax a bit at that, and his expression turned to one of minor embarrassment. “sorry t, you did promise after all… i shouldn’t be so quick to doubt you.” He apologized quietly.

“It is fine my friend, I understand. Do not worry about it.” She assured him, letting her paw linger a little longer before pulling it away and sitting back in her previous spot. “What you said it… does explain why I have never heard them mentioned and why I cannot seem to recall anything about them… I never even considered what happened to them… It is so unusual that none of this ever occurred to me… Could you explain it to me a little more? … how did the royal scientist get… shattered, as you said?”

Sans resumed petting GB as he seemed to ponder his answer. “well, the doc discovered the best way to convert the geotherm- …er… the heat, from ebott’s lava chambers to magical electricity was to use a special, massive, magical energy field that laid just above the lava in the core’s inner structure.” He began to explain, lifting one hand to gesture along with his words. Toriel was surprised to see there was small spark of energy in his eyelights as he talked about this, as though he were discussing his passions rather than a tragic incident.

“this field regulated the amount of heat allowed into the converters at a time, as well as helped to control the ozone emissions.” He continued. “it was a necessity… but it had some serious drawbacks. The magic used was dangerous stuff, it needed constant cooling like the core itself and it became unstable if it came in contact with any living monster’s magic. The day that it happened… there had been an “accident”.” He said that word with a particularly dark tone, eye sockets narrowing slightly.

“the core was overheating and the magic field was destabilizing faster than they could kill the power. there was a massive explosion in the main sector where the control room was. All of the doc’s team were… “killed” in an instant, along with one bystander. The doc had managed to get out to one of the walkways before it happened. But well, he ended up falling into the unstable field from the next tremor and was dusted just like the rest of them.” At that, Sans spread his phalanges and made a half-hearted explosion sound effect. Toriel could only stare, stunned at what she was hearing and the way he was choosing to talk about it.

“the thing was, the field at this point had reached a critical temperature and was basically out of control. When it made contact with the doc and the others’ souls, it didn’t just dust them. it tore them apart, creating some anomalous magical reaction so great that it split their souls into pieces and sent them scattering across space and time. when this happened, it’s like they were just erased from this world, all memories of them just… gone, like none of them had never even existed, except for in _my_ memories…”

His eye sockets darkened a bit at that and he drew in a steadying breath before looking at Toriel for her reaction to all he’d just said. His expression was one of returning unease, showing that some part of him still believed she would denounce his claims as mad ravings. Toriel made an effort not to let herself look too bewildered as she searched for what to say in response.

“Sans I… That… That is horrible… I cannot believe I never heard about any of this… I know you told me why I could not have but… Those poor monsters…” She placed a paw on her chest, over her soul, as a particular detail stuck out in her mind.

“My friend… this doctor, the old royal scientist… you said he was your… father?” She looked at him with sympathy in her eyes and her next words escaped her before she had time to think about them. “Oh Sans, I am so sorry…”

Sans froze up at that, eye lights going out completely and his grin becoming stiff. Then, an abrupt peal of somewhat manic laughter escaped him and he covered his face with a hand. There was still no humor behind his laughter, sounding more stressed than anything. Toriel watched him in confusion, and concern began welling up in her soul.

“What… what is so funny?” She asked nervously, dropping her paws back into her lap. “Did I say something wrong?”

It took Sans a few moments to compose himself again, keeping his head down all the while. He wearily let his hand slide down his skull and fall back on top of GB, letting Toriel see his face again. She could see there was indeed pain in his eye lights as they weakly flared back to life, but it was not grief, it was something… darker.

“nah, it’s not you tori. i should have… clarified my relationship my old gaster before diving into all the stuff about his death.” He replied, giving GB a reassuring pat as the blaster nuzzled him with concern. He seemed to notice Toriel’s renewed confusion at the name and gave her another apologetic look.

“geez look at me, i hadn’t even told you the doc’s name yet… damn, i’ve been all over the place with this huh?” He said, shaking his head with a sigh. “sorry tori, let me uh… start over. i was telling you how me and pap were “made” right?”

Toriel nodded but raised a paw to stop him from speaking for a moment. She felt a stab of guilt about what she just said possibly upsetting her friend. Everything he had shared so far had been so much to consider and her mind was racing with questions, but he was still her priority in this situation. She needed to approach this better.

“Do not worry it, my friend.” She said, lowering her paws back to her lap. “You talk about this the way that makes it easiest for you. It is my job to listen and understand. I will try not to make any more heedless comments from now on.” Now it was her turn to looked apologetic.

Sans didn’t reply but gave a small nod, looking down at GB as his eyelights became unfocused with thought once more. His silence prompted Toriel to continue.

“And yes Sans, you did start off by telling me that you and Papyrus were created… artificially? I believe that is how you put it.”

The mere idea of that made her feel vaguely ill. From the way he had said it, she was sure he didn’t mean the brothers were made through some sort of magical artificial insemination process. She could feel in her gut that this was something much worse. Most likely yet another thing she was not aware was even possible.

Sans nodded again, and Toriel noticed his hands were trembling slightly once more, though he was making an effort to hide this by petting GB. Despite his nerves, his voice was steadier than before when he spoke again.

“yah… when i say that gaster, the doctor, was our father… i mean that he made us. he was a skeleton too, in case that wasn’t clear. from what i can remember from him talking about it, he cut holes in each of his hands and took the magical matter from them to create the basic material for our souls. but that alone wouldn’t have worked, maybe if he was just trying to do something like clone himself or make _normal_ kids, but not for what he had in mind.”

Sans’ tone held that same dark sarcasm from before, and his eyelights wavered with something like anger. As rare as it was for Sans to express sadness, seeing him express anger was even more unusual. In fact, Toriel couldn’t think of another time it had happened other than today. She forced down her dread and kept listening, fully engrossed at this point.

“we were made to be… weapons, tori.” He said, his strained smile withering a bit. “he wanted to create monsters powerful enough to oppose humanity and possibly even strong enough to break the barrier… so when he made us… he injected our souls with the essence of different traits that he extracted from-” he stopped short, looking at Toriel with a sudden expression of concern.

Toriel blinked in response, tilting her head a bit. She was still trying to digest the horrid idea of Sans and Papyrus, her dear, kindhearted friends being intended as weapons. She didn’t understand what had suddenly distressed him concerning her. But then it clicked, and she felt an ice-cold chill run down her spine as her soul clenched up inside her. _No…_

She covered her mouth with her paws, feeling faint as she finished his sentence for him. “The human souls…” She croaked. “He… you were… made with their…” She couldn’t finish, too caught up in sudden memories and emotions.

Sans nodded weakly and then hesitantly scooted closer to lay a hand on her arm. “i’m sorry tori… i didn’t think even about…” he paused and Toriel could hear GB whine softly. Sans tried to make his voice sound reassuring. “from what i could tell… i don’t think it hurt them. The doc wouldn't have wanted to risk damaging them at all… i know that doesn’t really help but…” He trailed off, clearly not sure what to say.

Toriel swallowed, trying to compose herself. She forced herself out of her spiral of thoughts as the pain slowly burned away into anger, as it so often did with her. She set her jaw and let out a guttural huff, blowing out thin plumes of smoke from her nostrils. _“How dare he….”_ She growled, fangs flashing.

Her rage was not directed so much at Gaster at the moment, a monster she had only just heard of, but at the monster that she knew was truly responsible for all of this in the end. _Asgore…_ Even now, after all the efforts she had taken to come to terms with his actions and move on, hearing the details of what he’d done with the human children she’d loved made her see red.

Sans flinched a bit but did not pull away from her. In fact, he tightened his grip on her arm in what was likely meant as a comforting gesture. It was enough to bring her back to reality at least. She took a deep breath to quell down the hot fire magic that had risen up in her throat. She then moved to cover his hand with hers, squeezing it back gratefully. He turned it over to properly wrap his phalanges around her paw, gently stroking it with his thumb much the same way she had done for him earlier. The action soothed her turbulent soul just a bit. Once she trusted her voice again, she met his gaze and couldn’t stop herself from asking another question.

“Which… Which souls did he take the traits from? For you and your brother… what colors were they, do you know?” She asked, glad she was able to keep her voice from trembling too much.

Sans’ smile hardened in response, and for a moment Toriel wondered if he had some reason to hide the answer from her. But then, his left eyelight flared brightly and flashed the way it did whenever he used his special magic attacks.

“see for yourself…” he said in a despondent tone, pointing with his free hand at his now blazing eyelight.

Toriel blinked as the colors from the display of magic danced across her face. Light blue and yellow… each flashing in turn again and again. It was almost hypnotic. Light blue and yellow… Patience and Justice… a child who wore a faded red ribbon in their hair and carried a toy knife… another who always wore their prized cowboy hat atop their head and pledged to protect others with their antique revolver… The first loved butterscotch more than cinnamon… The other was very much the other way around… Both so young… Light blue and yellow…

Toriel shook herself out of her thoughts, nodding to Sans to indicate she understood. It took him a moment, but he doused his eyelight and blinked until both normal white lights returned to his eye sockets. The effort seemed to strain him a bit, as sweat beaded down his skull once he was successful. They both took measures to calm themselves before Sans spoke up again.

“for me, it was patience and justice that was injected into my soul. for pap, it was bravery and integrity… orange and dark blue.” He said, wiping his forehead with his sleeve. Upon looking up at her again, he grimaced slightly and gave her paw another squeeze.

“hey, you gonna to be okay tori? do you want me to stop for now?” he asked, tone soft.

Toriel mentally kicked herself, annoyed that she’d gotten so worked up. It shouldn’t have come as any surprise that Asgore and this Gaster monster had used the human souls in experiments. The idea of her ex-husband, desperate as he was to free his people, just letting them sit there after stealing them… ( _murdering_ them...) wasn’t realistic. She’d had so long to work through her grief, decades even. This new revelation shouldn’t have shocked her… It shouldn’t have hurt so much… but it did.

She did her best to force back all her swirling emotions. They were getting both of them nowhere right now. Today was supposed to be about helping Sans with his troubles, not her own. She needed to see this through, now even more so. It was becoming clear that the reasons for her friend’s sorrows were more serious and far reaching than she could have ever thought. What she was hearing potentially affected everyone, perhaps even the entire history of the monster kingdom. It was vital she heard it all. Her own nagging traumas could wait.

She wiped at her eyes and told herself that the tears she found there were only from the smoke before stinging them.

“No, I will be fine my friend, thank you…. I… I need to hear this… just as much as you need to talk about it.” She replied at last, digging into her old royal training to keep her expression composed and firm.

Sans looked for a moment as though he was going to argue with her, perhaps call her out on her blatant hypocrisy when it came to her insistence about being honest about their emotions. But he seemed to decide against it, instead letting the same muted anxiety return to his expression. It was only then he appeared to notice the way he was holding on to her hand. His eyelights shrank a bit, and a cyan color spread across his cheekbones. He carefully let go and pulled away, rubbing the back of his skull sheepishly.

“h-heh… alright… if you’re sure tori.” he said, stammering a bit. He was suddenly even more sweaty than before, and this time Toriel could tell it was not from any strain on his magic.

Despite it all, a weak, amused smile reappeared on her face at that. Perhaps if she was in a better mood she’d have thought of a joke to tease him with a bit. Neither of them had made a pun in almost an hour. If that didn’t show the gravity of the situation, nothing would.

GB whined again from Sans’ lap, drawing both of their attention to him. The blaster looked between Toriel and Sans with a concerned expression. He then gently lifted away from the skeleton and drifted over to Toriel. He pressed his snout against her neck and nuzzled her affectionately. Toriel’s smile brightened just a bit in response and she wrapped her arms around the blaster in a hug, pulling him down into her own lap. GB warbled and purred with delight, now contently pressing against her the same way he’d been with Sans. She ran a paw over the top of the blaster, realizing first hand why he always seemed so good at cheering up Sans and most others.

“looks like having gb here was a good idea t.” Sans said, the blue color fading from his face now. “gb’s a regular therapist, heck he could go to college for it. he’d earn his _blaster’s_ degree for sure.”

Well so much for not making puns. Toriel was still too mentally bogged down at the moment to offer a laugh, but her smile grew more genuine for a moment and she wrinkled her nose a bit. She was quick to refocus though. She knew Sans could be trying to duck out with his jokes because of her earlier reaction. Her expression shifted to become serious again, though she kept petting GB absently all the while.

“So… Sans. You were saying that… you were created with the human traits as part of your souls yes? Gaster believed that… this would make you powerful?” She asked, still barely wrapping her head around what she was saying. She’d almost lost sight of how shocking the revelation was when he’d mentioned the human souls being involved. Now that the pain was dulling within her, concern was quickly taking its place.

Sans’ attempted humor from before withered and his eye sockets darkened once more. He slid his hands back into his pockets and laid back against the trunk of the willow, stretching out his legs in front of him. He stared down at his slippers for a bit, clearly trying to retrace his thoughts.

“yah… the human traits mixed with our natural magic gave us abilities beyond what a normal monster can do.” Sans said, decidedly shaking off his slippers and bemusedly tapping his socked feet together as he talked. “for me, the justice part gave me access to something the doc called karmic retribution. bit of a mouthful I know, but basically it just means my attacks do extra damage to those who have a high amount of exp… the higher your lv, the faster i can take you down.”

His false grin widened a bit and he gave a small shrug. “there’s a bit of poetic justice in that, hence the name i guess. the idea was that if i ever faced the humans, their lv’s would surely be sky high and i’d be able to take scores of them out with ease. their own sins would be their undoing, in a way... heh” He seemed to deflate a bit, that now all too familiar despair crossing his features.

“course, a power like that was uh… kinda wasted on a monster like me. weak as i am ya know? you can only be so much of a threat with 1 hp...” He paused a moment, and Toriel could see he was curling his hands into fists within his pockets, perhaps trying to keep them from shaking.

“as for um… what the patience essence gave me… well... i’ll save that for a bit later. its uh… a bit of a doozy and i should probably get through the- heh- “childhood” part first. for now, let’s just say he wanted to give us the ability to oppose humanity’s greatest asset against us and didn’t pay any heed to the…” He trailed off for a moment and visibly tensed. “the… _psychological damage_ such a thing would inflict on the monster given that ability.”

Toriel felt a chill run through her at his words. The fact he’d specifically use a term like that so openly was alarming to say the least. Questions bubbled up inside her as before, but she blocked them out and kept herself focused on what Sans was saying. She wrapped her arms a little tighter around GB and gave Sans a small nod to indicate her attentiveness.

Sans blinked at her in acknowledgement before continuing, looking a little less stiff as he moved on from the topic. “in pap’s case… its harder to say since well… the doc never got around to really discovering the extent of his abilities. the bravery part seemed to just give him a crazy amount of magic power. i know he may not act like it, but my bro is crazy strong. he just always holds back. trust me, ya think that lil guy is impressive?” he lifted a hand from his pocket to point at GB with his thumb.

“even at the full size i can make him, he’s nothing compared to the blasters pap can whip up when he really wants too. his are a lot more menacing looking too, i think it’s because he doesn’t spend any time taming them. he’s not too comfortable with his being out, i think they kind of scare him… not that i can blame him. our blasters may not be directly tied to the traits we got, but man did pap’s get a boost from it.” He paused a moment, a bit of realization flashing in his eye-sockets.

“oh yah, that’s why i called him gb by the way. stands for, uh, gaster blaster. not super creative i know, but hey, i have a knack for being lazy, heh.” He said, giving a small shrug.

“the doc is the one who came up with em, i don’t know the full story but they were something he created during the war. we kinda… “inherited” them from what i can tell…” Again, a twinge of anger showed in his expression, eyelights wavering like small flames.

GB made a happy grumbling sound at the mention of his name, looking over at Sans with bright eyelights. Sans managed to give him a weak smile back and Toriel instinctively patted the blaster, causing him to purr even louder. He then settled back down into Toriel’s lap, pressing affectionately against her belly. For an apparent weapon, this gaster blaster sure was as sweet and friendly as could be. The thought stirred up mixed emotions in Toriel but she chose not to dwell on them and turned her attention back to Sans.

The skeleton had returned his hand to his pocket, and was working his jaw a bit in thought. “as for the integrity that got put into pap… i’m not too sure what it did.” He said, furrowing his brow ridge.

“he does seem to have this weird knack to being able to do all kinds of physics defying stunts. i’m sure you’ve seen his flutter jump he does when he gets excited. i swear he could clear a small house with it if he wanted to…” a bit of a fondness crept into his smile for a bit, but it faded quickly.

“but i’m not sure if that has anything to do with the integrity. It doesn’t quite fit with the trait itself like the other abilities seem to, but who knows right? at this point it doesn’t matter… we were given those traits in order to be weapons, but everyone is free now. so long as they don’t cause any trouble for pap there’s no need to dwell on them further. he doesn’t know why he’s so strong… he doesn’t remember anything from when we were kids… and i intend to keep it that way.”

He seemed to notice the spike in concern in Toriel’s expression as he said that and gave her an anxious look. “trust me tori… y-you’ll get why he doesn’t need to know once i get through this.” He said, his nervous smile wavering.

Toriel unease only worsened upon hearing that. A terrible trepidation gripped her as she realized they had only scratched the surface of Sans’ story. And from the sound of it, the worst was yet to come. What could be so terrible that Sans was content to leave his brother in the dark about it for so long? She could try to guess from what he’d told her already, but making assumptions hadn’t boded well for her so far. She mentally steeled herself and begrudgingly nodded to Sans once more, forcing herself to keep quiet.

The skeleton drew in a deep breath, the look on his face only confirming her worries. While the things he’d shared so far had not seemed to upset him too much, it was clear that this next part was not going to be as easy. GB seemed to notice his wielder’s increasing unease as well, and after glancing at Toriel who gave him her okay, he drifted back over to the skeleton and settled in his lap again. Sans gave the blaster a stiff pat, but it seemed not even GB’s presence could calm his nerves now.

“i gotta warn ya tori, the stuff that happened when we were with gaster as kids...” He paused, curling his phalanges around one of GB's horns in an apparent effort to stop them from shaking. The pain in his eyelights flared and they became fuzzy around the edges.

“its… its bad tori. there’s no way to sugarcoat it… just… be prepared okay? this is going to get pretty ugly…”

Toriel felt her soul clench at that, some part of her wanting to tell Sans he didn’t have to do this, if only to spare her friend from the clear distress it was causing him. But instead, she settled for scooting over so that she was sitting right beside him. She carefully wrapped an arm around his shoulders, ensuring he was okay with it before pulling him a bit closer. Now she could really feel how tense he was, as well as the occasional faint trembles that ran through his body. She gave his arm a gentle rub.

“I understand. Do not worry about me though. Please focus on yourself. You do not have to share everything, only what you feel up to. I thank you for being so open with me, but I understand if there are parts that are just too difficult to discuss. I know I will struggle with certain parts when I share my own story with you. No matter what, just know that I am here for you my friend. I am not going anywhere.” She assured him, tone gentle.

It was certainly not her best speech, but she felt all of it needed to be said. Thankfully, she could tell he appreciated it, even if he was only feeling up to showing it by turning to her with a freshly forced smile. The warmth shining in his eyelights was genuine though.

“thanks tori…really…i’ll uh… keep all that in mind.” he replied softly, and Toriel noticed him turn to eye the paw she had laid on his shoulder. He lifted his hand towards it for a moment, then hesitated, curling his phalanges in indecision. Toriel waited for a moment, then slowly lifted and moved the paw to close the distance herself. He blinked in surprise, but then took her paw gratefully, threading his phalanges with her fingers. The light blue color returned to his cheekbones, prompting a weak smile from Toriel. Despite the circumstances, it was nice to have a reason to be closer with him like this. She was suddenly thankful to be covered in fur that would hide any potential color appearing on her own face.

“um…” he cleared his figurative throat, setting his other hand on top of GB, who had been happily gazing up at them since Toriel moved over.

“okay… let me just… figure out where to start with this part…” He said, his somber and serious tone returning.

Toriel gave his hand a tender squeeze, both to encourage him and prepare herself for what was to come. Both their souls were filled with a dull feeling of dread as they anticipated what terrible secrets Sans would be revealing. High above them, a great cloud blocked out the sun and the willow’s dome went dark.


	4. Shade

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back with a super long update, hope you enjoy~ 
> 
> (Warnings for mentions of child abuse in this chapter)
> 
> Spanish version of this chapter translated by the wonderful Gabriella_Lu/Lau can be found here!: https://www.wattpad.com/627878879-ut-todas-estas-piezas-rotas-soriel-by-paddiefrog

Sans’ eyelights glowed just a bit more noticeably in the low light of the sudden shadow. Like two tiny stars shining in the deep darkness of his eye sockets. Toriel often found herself fascinated by them and the way they reflected his true emotions even when he was putting on his most confident acts. He could force a smile all he wanted, but those small lights never lied. Every waver, flicker and sudden change in brightness betrayed something going on in the skeleton’s soul.

At that moment, they were reflecting one thing… fear.

In his usual fashion, he was doing his best to appear composed as he prepared to discuss his childhood. His grin was weak but would probably seem genuine to most, and his loose posture would seem to indicate he was rather relaxed. But the lights of his eyes were dull and quivering, giving away the true severity of his anxiety. That, and it is rather hard to hide how tense you are when you are so close to someone else.

Toriel could only hope that her presence and gentle shows of support could help stave off the worst of his unease. If what he was indicating about his early life was as bad as he made it seem, he would certainly need the help to get through this.

She ran her thumb pad over the back of his hand as he gathered his thoughts, watching his eyelights all the while for any sign of change. Eventually, they sharpened with decision and he spoke up once more, his voice much quieter than before.

“the doc… made me first. you probably could’ve guessed that, with me being the older brother and all…” He began, pulling his legs in to sit with them crossed.

GB shifted slightly to stay in place in his lap, pushing his muzzle under Sans’ free hand to keep it on top of him. The skeleton didn’t react other than to pull the blaster a little closer. His gaze was seemingly locked on a small patch of flowers growing near the edge of the willow dome. There were a fair number of varieties dotted about the clearing, perhaps the results of one of Asgore’s visits to this place.

Sans seemed to be watching a certain section in particular, a small cluster of forget-me-nots that trembled lightly in the faint breeze. The flowers were being rather smothered by an aggressive slew of weeds but some pushed up just enough that their pale blue color was visible. Even with the dome in shadow, their hues stood out amongst the sea of green.

“he called me “the prototype.” Sans continued, eyelights still trained on the flowers as he spoke.

“basically, i was just uh… a test… he didn’t intend for me to survive. i was just a trial run for once he got his initial calculations in place, so he could work out all the flaws before investing in the real deal.” That small spark of anger crept back into his voice, but there was less fire behind it, perhaps overshadowed by his nerves.

“so… um… when he first injected my newly formed soul with the human traits. my soul uh… cracked. it was too much for it. he would learn from that how to temper the traits better when he got around to making pap… but uh… yah…” He shuddered lightly, and Toriel noticed him move to grip at his shirt over his chest. He squeezed the white fabric between his phalanges as he continued speaking.

“somehow though, he got me stabilized, but well… the damage had been done. it uh… hindered my ability to develop properly. from what he told me, i barely clung to life while my soul was… “incubating” in the development chamber he kept it in. and when my body finally formed, i was… well… tiny.” His smile widened a bit, but not for any actual amusement.

“he did an experiment to accelerate my growth regardless, like i said, he essentially saw me as a lab rat… didn’t really care too much it if actually worked or not. he pumped my soul full of magic and whatever else he had to get me to age up faster. i went from being a baby bones to basically a seven year old in a little under a year. turned out that, _shockingly_ , that also ended up being a bad idea.” Bitter sarcasm dripped from his tone at that, and Toriel could tell he was doing his best to keep his voice steady.

“he also did… something, not too sure what, to instill a bunch of information into me before i ever even opened my eye sockets for the first time. so, i was kind of “born” with a basic understanding of how the world works…or at least how the doc’s world worked. certainly made things easier for gaster, not so much for me…heh”

A soft concerned whine from GB briefly drew Sans’ attention to him, but the skeleton did not free either of his hands to pat him. But he did flash a weak smile at the blaster in an attempt to placate him. GB frowned and whined again, quieter this time, but reluctantly settled back in Sans’ lap. His wielder paid him little mind, staring blankly back at the small patch of flowers. When he started speaking again, it was faster and Toriel felt his hand trembling again even in her grip.

“when i finally was uh… taken out of the chamber… i was real weak and sick… like sick to the point where i could barely move, couldn’t eat and my soul was flaring up with fever. plus i was, y'know… still really small. it’s no surprise i ended up with such garbage stats. 1’s all across the board. even for a kid that’s scary low… guess creating artificial monsters isn’t something you ever nail on the first try… heh, funnily enough though, i started out with 5 hp back then, it didn’t drop down to 1 like everything else until much later…”

He trailed off for a moment, his eyelights fuzzy and unfocused. Toriel, mind in a whirl over all this, was about to speak up in response. But Sans snapped back to attention and began talking in quick spurts again, preventing her from doing so. Unlike before, there wasn’t the same hesitation when he spoke. The words seem to come easily now, but maybe a bit too easily… Toriel couldn’t help but feel like he was starting to sound a bit unhinged.

“i really struggle to remember this part well but… it was weird because i could talk and i could understand what ol g and the other scientists were saying, but i had a hard time really comprehending anything.” He continued, curling his phalanges tighter around her paw.

“it’s all kind of a haze, but even after i somehow pulled through my first bout of illness, i was sick all the time tori… and i was just so weak… my bones would snap like twigs from any real pressure… even now i really can’t say how i ended up surviving through it all, especially with how the doc and the others just… injected me constantly on a whim with whatever concoctions they came up with. i guess some of it must have worked in a way… seeing as i  _am_ alive at the moment, but man it sure did put me through hell…”

Sans stopped talking as the shadow from the cloud above finally passed and small shafts of sunlight shone down on the three of them again. Sans looked up at the ceiling of willow leaves above and squeezed at his shirt again, right over the spot where his soul would be. After a few moments, he turned and met Toriel’s gaze. She must have had a rather dismayed look on her face, because Sans chuckled wearily at the sight of her.

“grim enough for ya yet?” He asked flatly, tilting his skull to the side a bit.

Toriel let out a breath she didn’t realize she had been holding and swallowed hard. Well, he certainly hadn’t been lying earlier about this being bad. All of this was easier to process on a conceptual level, but that didn’t make what he was describing any less horrifying. How could Asgore have let this happen? It was one thing for him to sacrifice his morals regarding the humans. No matter how terrible that was, she could at least see how he could rationalize his actions. But this? Experimenting on monster children? She had thought, perhaps hoped against the odds, that the brothers being injected with the human traits was the extent of the experiments done on them. Clearly that was not the case.

It all left her feeling horribly sick, only worsened by a sudden stab of guilt. If she hadn’t left the throne, she could have prevented this. She would have _never_ allowed something like this to be approved or even enter the realm of discussion in the first place. Part of this… was on her. Then again, if she had been there to stop this… Sans would have never existed at all. That idea spurred conflicting emotions in her soul causing her to stammer when she spoke again.

“Oh Sans… I… If I had only known, I would have done something… I would have never let them… I-I cannot believe that this… I am so-“

She was cut off when he tightened his grip on her paw and spoke over her, voice suddenly rather calm.

“tori… don’t start blaming yourself for this okay? it wasn’t your fault… i don’t think it was even asgore’s fault. i’m pretty sure ol fluffybuns never knew the full extent of what gaster was doing with the souls… after all, the doc was sure to hide us away from everyone except himself and his team. i never saw the king growing up, only heard about him second-hand… so uh… don’t get _too_ angry at him. even if he did have some part in it, he wouldn’t remember anyway. those memories would have been destroyed along with the doc himself…h-heh.”

He trailed off and his eyelights wavered, becoming hazy. He gripped at his chest even tighter, and sweat dripped down his skull. The sight made Toriel’s guilt grow even worse, but not for the same reasons. She really had to stop being so reactionary to every bit of information Sans revealed. Otherwise they’d never get through this. It was good to hear that Asgore may have not been as complicit in such heinous acts as she thought, but that was not enough to justify once again making Sans attempt to comfort her.

He was the victim here, he was the one who had lived through all the horrific things he was talking about. He was the one who needed the reassurance and comfort, not her. She needed to be strong for him right now and stop being so easily rattled. If he thought she was getting too upset, he could easily lose the will to do this. She needed to keep her choice of words and questions constructive. Wallowing in her guilt was out of the question right now.

She gave him a gentle squeeze, pulling him close briefly and letting it be a of sort of silent apology. Sans didn’t really react, but his eyelights became more focused again. She stroked his hand tenderly as she gathered the strength to reply.

“Very well my friend, I will not fret over assigning blame for now… I am just… so sorry that you had to endure any of that…” She said, keeping her tone gentle. There was so much more she wanted to say and ask him, but she held her tongue for the moment.

The skeleton didn’t reply, looking more and more out of it by the second. Toriel eyed the way he was clutching so tightly at his shirt and frowned in concern. “Sans, are you okay? would you like to stop for now? it is perfectly fine if you need a break, my friend.”

Sans narrowed his eye sockets a bit and he shook his head, expression stiff. “nah, i uh… i need you t-… i want you to know what the doc and his group did tori… he’s gotten off scot-free all this time… someone besides me needs to know the extent of his actions… even if the bastard’s not here to be judged for it…”

His eyelights guttered out completely, leaving his sockets dark. His anger, which had up to this point been restrained or overpowered by unease, now was front and center. She could feel it in the unsteady waves of magic flowing from his soul, and from the way his grip on her hand tightened to the point that it almost hurt. Despite his sudden rage surprising her, she did not flinch from it. Emotions like these were something she knew how to handle better than his usual detached apathy. His odd behavior worried her still, but she wasted little time before nodding in response.

“Alright, I understand my friend. Just… do not force yourself, as I said before, there is no rush.” She reminded him, making sure to keep her own anger on his behalf under control.

She may not be able to remember this Doctor Gaster, but from what Sans had shared so far, she felt she had a good read on just what kind of monster he was. Anyone who would hurt a child, much less treat a child the way Sans had been treated, was the lowest form of scum in her eyes. She fought not to let any flames build up in her throat.

Sans made a soft, half-hearted sound of acknowledgement, but did not reply to her words beyond that.

After a few moments, GB let out another soft whine at the tense atmosphere, giving Sans a more insistent nudge. The skeleton’s eye sockets remained dark, but he did finally pull his hand away from his chest and lay it back on top of the blaster’s head. He swept a hand down the length of GB’s muzzle.

“s’okay boy…” Sans said quietly, his false grin widening. “we’re just talking bout ol g. you remember him, right?”

The blaster grumbled in a confused tone and he shook back and forth slightly in a “no” motion. Sans’ eerie expression stayed firm, giving the blaster another pet.

“sure ya do… you tried to protect me from him a few times remember? he was always shouting and calling me “prototype”. He sent his own blaster after you and it bit down on ya until you cracked all down the middle. you gotta remember that… it took me weeks to fix ya up.” Sans pressed, voice icy and unsettlingly calm given his clear anger.

GB’s eyelights shrank to pinpricks as realization crossed his features. He whimpered fearfully and shuddered, pressing hard against Sans’ middle. Toriel saw a hint of blue magic flaring in the blaster’s jaws as well. She suppressed a shiver of her own, picturing sweet, gentle, GB’s skull cracked and caved in. It only further fueled the hot fury burning in her own soul. She blew out another hot puff of smoke from her nostrils, gritting her teeth.

She let that be the only indulgence of her own anger though, as concern for Sans returned in earnest. Her friend really wasn’t acting like himself, especially since he seemed unfazed by GB’s obvious distress. He had made no move to comfort the blaster. He had simply turned his gaze back to the blue flowers across from them, eye sockets still distinctly empty. If his eyelights were like stars, his lightless sockets were like black holes, almost hypnotic in their encompassing darkness. She wanted to say something to bring back the familiar light to his eyes, but Sans was already continuing with his tale, voice strained.

“after i recovered from my initial illness, i spent my days undergoing test after test, experiment after experiment. whatever came to those scientist’s heads.” He said, grin unnaturally wide and stiff. Sweat beaded down his skull as he talked and he pulled his hand away from hers to gesture with as he spoke.

“they didn’t care how sick it made me or how much pain i was in. if i’d start crying or trying to get away from them or whatever they’d be sure to remind me over and over just how selfish and disappointing i was.” He went on venomously, and Toriel could feel him beginning to tremble all over.

“ _how dare i_ interfere with their work and put monsterkind’s future in jeopardy for my own sake. _how dare i_ complain when i was serving such an important purpose. _how dare_ i try to destroy everyone’s hopes and dreams by only thinking of myself!” the volume of his voice rose with every repetition of that phrase and his grin took on a manic quality.

Toriel and GB stared at him in shock, but he didn’t even seem to be speaking to them anymore. He was completely caught up in his own spiraling anger. His left eyelight blazed to life, the alternating colors flashing in a disorienting manner and Toriel could see arcs of blue magic flaring about his hands.

“it didn’t matter… it didn’t matter how much i suffered just so long as they got their damn data so they could finalize their perfect weapon… _my little brother!_ ”

Those last three words were shouted loud enough to stun everything around them into silence. For a few moments after, no birds sang, no bugs buzzed, Toriel even swore the leaves of the willow all froze in place. All she could hear was Sans’ heavy breathing and the quiet rattle of his bones. Another cloud passed overhead and blocked out the sun, casting them all in shadow once more.

In all the time she’d known him, Toriel had never heard him raise his voice like that. Hell, she’d never heard him raise his voice at all. Sans was always so soft spoken, no matter the situation. Even his most genuine laughter was quiet and subdued. Hearing him actually yell like that made her realize just how much he’d been bottling up his emotions all this time. It should be normal to hear someone get angry every once in a while, even kindhearted Papyrus and her sweet Frisk sometimes succumbed to it. The fact that it was such a shock to hear it happen with Sans only convinced her further of the importance of all this.

Still though, this was getting out of hand. Sans wasn’t himself. He was letting his anger overwhelm him, clearly not used to dealing with it at all. Nothing about that was going to help him at this point and the risk of him losing control of his magic was a real and dangerous one. A strong enough uncontrolled magical surge could lead to him damaging his soul. And with only 1 HP… There was no question, he needed to calm down. Thankfully, Toriel had dealt with situations like this before.

Back when Chara was living with her, the human child had been prone to emotional outbursts. Their previous life had left them with many scars, leading to even small situations causing them to blow up. Outbursts of anger were most common with them, often resulting in lots of screaming and attempted acts of violence, usually on themself. Learning to deal with those situations back then had instilled in Toriel the techniques she could now use to help Sans.

Luckily, even Sans’ overwhelming anger at the moment didn’t hold a candle to Chara’s worst breakdowns. She was confident she could handle this. But she had to be careful how she approached it. Sans was certainly not a child and despite his continual insistence of how weak he was, his magic was still potentially dangerous to all of them. She took a steadying breath, pushing back all the pain that had gripped her soul from everything Sans had just revealed. She could focus on the horror of it all later.

She motioned to GB to back away from Sans and the blaster obeyed without question, still anxiously eyeing his wielder all the while. Sans didn’t react, clearly on the verge of exploding into another bout of furious ranting. Without the blaster to cling to his phalanges curled into fists in his lap and his frantic smile widened even further. He drew in a breath, likely to fuel his next tirade, but before he could get a word out, Toriel spoke over him.

“Sans.” She gently but firmly said his name, moving so that she was directly in front of him.

She lightly put both her paws on his shoulders, applying just enough pressure for it to register and steady him. As she expected, his rage momentarily directed itself at her and she found herself facing down his blazing eyelight. Its dizzying colors flashed across both their faces, far more intense now that they were all in shadow.

 _ **". . . W h a t t h e h e l l a r e y o u d o i n g ?"**_ He growled as if cornered, voice carrying a strange, deep, echoey quality.

The magic racing through his bones zapped faintly at her paws, ticking away the barest fraction of her HP. She paid it no mind, unflinchingly keeping her gaze locked with his.

“Sans, please try to calm down.” She soothed. “I know that you are angry. And that is more than okay, you have every right to be. But your magic is surging too much, it could endanger your soul if it gets too much worse. Just try to take a deep breath for me… it will help. Remember that you are safe, my friend.”

Sans glowered up at her, his strained smile withering. Toriel prepared herself for him to lash out or possibly even shortcut away. But it became quickly apparent that wouldn’t be the case. His quick, harsh breathing began to slow and he dropped his gaze to his lap, his confrontational spirit lost. His eyelight still flared like an open flame though, prompting Toriel to keep talking.

“Deep breaths now… there you go.” She encouraged him, rubbing his arm gently. She slowed her own breaths too, if only to help serve as an example for him to follow.

Sans didn’t say anything, but seem to heed her words, chest heaving as he reigned in his erratic breathing. The anger flowing from his soul began to be accompanied by fear and confusion, making Toriel’s own soul ache for him as he shook and rattled before her. Toriel could tell then that his fit of anger had almost driven him into a full-blown panic attack. She thanked the stars she had intervened in time to prevent that.

“You are okay my friend… try to let your magic settle, focus it out at your fingertips and let it burn off. Try not to draw it back towards your soul or your eye socket... understand?”

She was unsure if the advice was something he truly needed, as Sans seemed to be quite knowledgeable when it came to magic. But it was certainly better to be safe than sorry in this situation, plus it seemed that her words were helping to get him grounded.

Regardless of needing the reminder or not, the skeleton obeyed her instructions, lifting his trembling hands up and directing the magic racing through his body towards the tips of his phalanges. It caused his hands to suddenly become wreathed in what appeared to be pale blue flames, with bright arcs of magic shooting between his phalanges like electricity. He winced slightly as the full extent of the excess magic he’d created in his rage fed into the ethereal fire, causing it to flare out impressively. It hit Toriel with a few stinging sparks, but she kept her paws in place all the same.

After a few more moments, the fiery display dwindled to a dull glow and then burnt out completely. His eyelight followed suit, guttering out with a final bright flash and leaving his sockets dark and empty once more. His soul’s fervor now quieted, he seemed to deflate, lowering his skull into his hands and fighting against the involuntary shudders that still gripped him.

Toriel let out a breath, relief flowing through her. Confident that he was stable now, she leaned down closer to his level and gently laid a paw against his cheekbone.

“Are you alright Sans? Talk to me, please my friend…” She implored, feeling the anticipatory tingle of healing magic already gathering in her paws.

He let out a soft groan, sounding frustrated and exhausted. He didn’t lift his head, but did concede in replying.

“m’ f-fine…” he croaked, steadily gaining control over his shivering.

He cursed harshly under his breath before taking in and slowly letting out a deep sigh. Then his grin turned up at the ends again, though it remained noticeably shaky.

“h-heh… hoo… g-geez… what was a-all that?” He asked wearily, but it seemed to Toriel that it was a rhetorical question. She decided to answer anyway.

“Your anger got the best of you, my friend.” She replied gently, running her thumb down the side of his skull. “I can hardly blame you though… given all that you have...” She bit her lip, trailing off as the specifics of his earlier recount came back to her in a flash.

She was trying not to think too hard about it all yet, but stars above… The suffering her dear friend had been through... at such a young age… Sans had painted a fairly vague but telling picture of the abuse he had suffered at this Doctor Gaster’s hands, and imagining the heinous things that had been done to him made her soul swim with nausea. Her own anger from before had been tempered mostly into despair on her friend’s behalf. It just wasn’t fair…

She did her best to force down all her emotions again, reminding herself that she needed to stay in the moment and focus on the task at hand.

“w-well damn… didn’t realize i could have s-such a…” Sans paused a moment, lifting his head from his hands a bit. “ _f-fiery_ temper…heh…”

Toriel stared at him, rather flabbergasted at his attempt at humor given the situation. He met her eyes once more, his eyelights faint but finally visible again. The cloud high above passed, and the sun’s comforting warmth and light flowed over them all once more.

“heh… sorry, th-that was bad… even for m-me.” he wheezed, attempting an apologetic smile.

The spark of humor in his eyelights died quickly though, a dull seriousness returning. “and uh… sorry also for… snapping at you. i…” he paused, wiping sweat off his brow. “i… really don’t know why I got so _heated_ …”

Toriel raised an eyebrow at that, pulling her paw back into her lap. Sans blinked in mild confusion then he managed a wobbly, sheepish grin.

“i didn’t uh… that last one w-wasn’t intentional… honest…h-heh.”

Toriel shook her head, mildly exasperated. Sans really could bounce back from any harrowing experience it seemed. She knew it was all still a farce though, the terribly dark circles under the skeleton’s eye sockets could attest to that. She really wished he didn’t feel the need to lie like this… especially now when he needed help more than ever.

She sighed and decided to take matters into her own hands again… quite literally. She leaned forward and wrapped her arms around him, pulling him into her embrace for the third time that day. Sans almost seemed to expect it at this point, accepting and doing what he could to return the hug without any uncertainty. It even seemed to her that he was grateful for it, quick to hide his face against her shoulder and cling to the fabric of her dress. She ran a paw idly up and down his back, watching as GB happily drifted over to join the embrace as well, settling against her knee and purring deeply once more.

With hers and Sans’ souls pressed so close together, she could feel his true emotions from the source. When he was in her arms like this, no act of denial on his part could hide the truth of what he was feeling. She closed her eyes, focusing on what her friend’s soul was telling her.

“You are still angry Sans…” She noted softly, keeping up her rhythmic stroking.

She felt him tense, but he did not jump to deny it, staying silent.

“You are angry and hurt… and a little scared too…” She continued. “Would you deny that?”

There was a long pause, but eventually she felt him shake his head, pressing closer.

“You are more than justified in feeling like this, my friend… it is not wrong to hurt, to be angry, to be afraid… I know what just happened was rather overwhelming, but I feel that it only got to be that bad because you have not let yourself properly work through any of this before… Have you not?”

More silence met her question, but she felt him slowly shake his head again in response. A dull ache gripped her soul at hearing her suspicions confirmed. She squeezed him a little tighter.

“I am so sorry my friend. I am sorry you had to face so much torment and cruelty at such a young age and I am sorry you felt you needed to keep it a secret for so long… You did not deserve any of what happened to you. It is only natural that you’d be angry… please do not feel guilty or ashamed because of it.” She implored, unable to keep her voice from breaking a bit.

Sans still did not reply, but a small shudder did run through him at her words. Toriel decided not to press the issue further, content to just hold him a while until he decided to break the embrace of his own accord.

She wasn’t sure how long they sat there like that, listening to the soft sounds of nature around them. At some point, quiet snoring joined those sounds and she cracked an eye open to see that it was not Sans who had fallen asleep, but GB. The blaster had rolled onto his side and drifted off at some point, jaws twitching as his oddly reverberating snores escaped him. The sight prompted a small smile from her, and almost distracted her enough to miss Sans’ quiet voice speaking up for the first time in a while.

“i just… wish i could have gotten pap out of there sooner…” he murmured softly, voice heavy with despair.

Toriel blinked at that, surprised both by his sudden speaking and what he had chosen to say. He had not gotten around to mentioning the details of Papyrus’ childhood before he had become overwhelmed. He had only established that his little brother was, apparently, the perfected final product of the research in which Sans was the prototype.

Toriel suppressed a shudder, realizing that Papyrus was very likely subject to much of the same terrible abuse that Sans had been. She was beginning to understand why Sans wanted so badly to keep his brother in the dark about this. She was about to reply to Sans, perhaps at least offer him some words of comfort when a sudden sound made them both jump violently. GB leapt into the air too with a yelp of surprise.

The skeleton scrambled back from her a bit, looking bewildered as a loud musical tone filled the air. It took him a second to realize it was coming from his jacket pocket, and he reached inside to quickly pull out his loudly vibrating phone. Toriel caught a glimpse of a rather humorous picture of Papyrus displayed on the screen, depicting him with a pair of sunglasses and exaggerated fake biceps pasted over his arms. Usually this image would have brought out Sans’ genuine smile, but right now he just looked terribly distressed.

He stared helplessly at the phone as it rang and vibrated in his hands, sweat dripping down his skull. He attempted to lift a phalange to hit the answer button, but just couldn’t bring himself to do it, eyelights dulling as he lowered the phone into this lap.

“i… i c-can’t…” he croaked out, squeezing his eye sockets shut.

Toriel understood immediately and held out her paw to him.

“Here Sans, let me.” She offered.

Sans dropped the phone into her paw without even opening his sockets again. He pulled up his hood over his skull and sank his head into his hands again as she quickly tapped the answer button. A cheerful note played and Papyrus’ chipper voice began coming through the phone speaker.

“HELLO? BROTHER?” He called out, joyful tone in great contrast to the previously morose atmosphere.

GB perked up at the sound of Papyrus’ voice and drifted closer to listen, yipping softly in excited recognition. Toriel eyed the blaster with a weak grin as she composed herself quickly in order to reply to Papyrus.

“Greetings Papyrus... it is actually Toriel… Sans cannot come to the phone right now… he is uh…” She trailed off, eyeing the skeleton in question out of the corner of her eye.

“Sleeping.” She finished flatly. The lie made her feel a twist of guilt in her soul, but the truth was not something that could or should be shared at the moment.

“OF COURSE…” Came Papyrus’ response, sounding only vaguely irritated.

“WHEN IS THAT LAZY BONES _NOT_ SLEEPING? I APOLOGIZE FOR HOW RUDE HE IS BEING MS. TORIEL. NAPPING ALL DAY INSTEAD OF SPENDING TIME WITH YOU AND MAKING YOU TAKE HIS CALLS NO LESS… SOMETIMES I SWEAR HE HAS NO SHAME AT ALL.”

Toriel forced a small laugh, settling back from her knees to sit down properly.

“It is alright, do not worry about it. He only just nodded off a little while ago anyway. I do not mind spending the _rest_ of the afternoon by myself. I have to finish up my daily _snores_ after all.” Toriel delivered the puns with a hopefully convincing cheery tone.

“GUHH, PLEASE MS. TORIEL I WAS HOPING THAT SINCE YOU PICKED UP I COULD _AVOID_ THE PUNS FOR ONCE.” He grumbled, bringing out a small, legitimate chuckle from her.

“Really? Well I suppose you do not know me all that well then.” She replied, a touch cheekily.

The conversation was so normal that she had nearly forgotten the reason she was answering in Sans’ place to begin with. She was reminded when she felt the skeleton move to lay against her side. He wasn’t facing her but was clearly listening in. She wrapped her free arm around his shoulders and kept him close as she continued with the conversation.

“ANYWAY! I SUPPOSE THE GREAT PAPYRUS WILL SIMPLY HAVE TO DELIVER HIS INITIAL BEACH TRAINING REPORT TO YOU THEN! PLEASE ENSURE THIS INFORMATION IS PASSED ON TO MY BROTHER WHEN YOU HAVE THE CHANCE!” He instructed and Toriel could picture him dramatically posing along with his speech.

“I, UNDYNE AND ALPHYS HAVE ARRIVED SAFELY AT THE BEACH AT THE EDGE OF EBOTT CITY. WE HAVE SECURED OUR LODGINGS FOR THE NEXT TWO NIGHTS AND HAVE BEGAN OUR TRAINING EXERCISES, INCLUDING AQUATIC MANEUVERBILITY TRAINING, SAND STRUCTURE CONSTRUCTION TRAINING AND SOLAR ABSORBTION TRAINING!” He declared, clearly making an effort to sound serious.

“ALL HAVE GONE SPLENDIDLY! WE PLAN TO HAVE DINNER AT A LOVELY BEACHFRONT EATERY BEFORE RETURNING TO THE BEACH TONIGHT FOR CAMPFIRE DESSERT PREPERATION TRAINING!” He paused for a moment, professional tone faltering slightly. “WELL, PERHAPS THAT LAST ONE IS NOT TRAINING PER SAY… MORE JUST MAKING S’MORES… BUT THE GREAT PAPYRUS WILL GIVE IT HIS ALL NONTHELESS!”

Despite all the stress her soul had endured that day, Toriel couldn’t help but keep a smile on her face at Papyrus’ enthusiasm and positivity. He was such a joyous and kind soul… It was hard to believe he could ever have been intended as a weapon. If Sans hadn’t been the one to insist that was the case, she would not have considered it for a moment.

What would happen to Papyrus if he were to find out all that she had just been told? Would it destroy his confident and optimistic spirit? Would it hurt him as much as it was clearly hurting his brother? What was truly the right thing to do here… leave Papyrus in happy ignorance? Or tell him the truth no matter the consequences?

“MS. TORIEL? ARE YOU STILL THERE?” Papyrus asked, his voice snapping her back to reality.

“Y-yes, my apologies...” She responded quickly, doing her best to compose herself. She cleared her throat before continuing.

“It is wonderful to hear you are having a good time, my friend. I look forward to hearing all the stories you bring back with you… And I am sure you all will take lots of wonderful photos. I will have to get some more frames ready.”

If Papyrus detected any of the unease in her voice, he didn’t show it, replying with the same joyful zeal as always.

“OH CERTAINLY! I HAVE ALREADY TAKEN A FAIR AMOUNT WORTHY OF OUR HOME’S WALLSPACE. YOU WILL CERTAINLY NOT BE DISSAPOINTED! NYEH HEH HEH! I WILL BE SURE TO SEND YOU SOME TONIGHT AS PROMISED!”

Toriel blinked at that, realizing she had nearly forgotten Papyrus’ words from earlier that day. Hell, with all that had transpired, that morning already felt to her like it had happened ages ago…

“I am sure that they will be wonderful, thank you Papyrus. I hope you all continue to have fun. Please do send my greetings and well wishes to Undyne and Alphys as well. I will pass on your message to Sans as soon as he wakes up.”

“THANK YOU VERY MUCH MS. TORIEL! ...” Papyrus replied spiritedly, but trailed off for a moment. When he spoke again his voice had lost a good amount of its confident quality.

“B-BEFORE YOU GO… UM… COULD I REQUEST ONE LAST THING FROM YOU?”

Toriel felt a small pang of worry at his uncharacteristic uncertainty.

“Of course, what do you need my friend?”

“PLEASE… WOULD YOU KEEP AN EYE ON SANS FOR ME?” He implored, and Toriel felt the mentioned skeleton stiffen at her side.

“I DON’T KNOW IF YOU’VE NOTICED BUT HE HASN’T BEEN DOING TOO WELL LATELY… IT SEEMS TO ME THAT HE IS HAVING BAD NIGHTMARES AGAIN… AND HE’S BEEN QUIETER AND MORE TIRED THAN USUAL, EVEN FOR HIM. I CAN TELL HE JUST HASN’T REALLY BEEN HAPPY FOR A WHILE NOW… EVEN IF HE DOES TRY VERY HARD NOT TO SHOW IT.”

Toriel’s soul clenched up within her, intense emotions gripping it. She wasn’t sure if she felt relieved or worried that Papyrus had also recognized that his brother was hiding his pain. On one hand, it was to be expected that Papyrus would be able to read Sans better than anyone else, given how close the two were.

But on the other, it seemed Papyrus had been doing a rather exceptional job at hiding his own concerns until now. Just how much was he aware of? How much sadness over all this did he privately carry in his own soul? Toriel was forced to consider in that moment that perhaps the two brothers were more alike than any of them realized.

“Yes, I have noticed...” She replied softly, tightening her grip on Sans’ shoulder a bit. He didn’t react, acting as if he were frozen in place. Toriel heard Papyrus breathe a sigh of relief through the phone.

“I MUST ADMIT, KNOWING HE WAS STRUGGLING MADE ME HESITATE SLIGHTLY ABOUT EMBARKING ON THIS TRIP, BUT I JUST COULD NOT LET UNDYNE DOWN… SO I GUESS WHAT I AM ASKING IS, COULD YOU PLEASE LOOK AFTER HIM FOR ME UNTIL I GET BACK? PLEASE MAKE SURE HE DOESN’T JUST LIE THERE ALL WEEKEND… GET HIM TO EAT SOMETHING OTHER THAN JUNK FOOD AND MAYBE… GIVE HIM A HUG OR TWO… IN MY PLACE? I MUST SAY MS. TORIEL WHILE YOUR HUGS MAY NOT YET MATCH THAT OF THE GREAT PAPYRUS, I FEEL YOU ARE A VERY CLOSE SECOND!”

Toriel swallowed against a sudden tightness in her throat. Her soul was buzzing with worried emotions, along with an inevitable sense of irony for what he was requesting of her. She couldn’t help but feel a deeper kinship with Papyrus at that moment, as two monsters who shared a deep compassion for a certain small skeleton.

“Of course Papyrus, you know that I care for your brother dearly. I will be sure to watch over him in your absence… and thank you, ha ha… I certainly will try to live up to that title.” She said warmly, the last part managing to bring another small smile back to her face.

With that, Papyrus’ usual chipperness returned, seemingly satisfied with her response.

“THANK YOU MS. TORIEL! I KNEW I COULD COUNT ON YOU! WELL, I MUST BE OFF! WE STILL HAVE MUCH TRAINING TO DO BEFORE DINNER! WE’VE PLANNED TO DO SOME SHELL COLLECTION TRAINING AND SOMETHING CALLED “PARA-SAILING.” I SHALL CALL AGAIN TONIGHT TO GIVE MY FINAL REPORT FOR THE DAY, HOPEFULLY SANS WILL BE AWAKE TO PICK UP THEN. TAKE CARE MS. TORIEL AND THANKS AGAIN!”

“Goodbye for now my friend, have fun and I wish you well.” Toriel bid him farewell before tapping the “end call” button on the phone with a claw.

She let out a heavy sigh, pressing the phone against her chest as she did so. She took a few moments to compose herself before turning to look down at Sans again. He was facing away from her, but the tension in his body told her how he had taken hers and Papyrus’ conversation. She gently rubbed his shoulder, hoping he would accept the attempted comfort.

“Sans… are you alright? I suspect that hearing that from him must have been difficult…You did not know he was also aware of your struggles, did you?” She questioned quietly, even know she already knew the answer.

The skeleton’s stiff posture relaxed by degrees and he turned his head towards her. His hood cast dark shadows over his face, but his eyelights still faintly glowed up at her. There were many emotions shining in those little lights, but more than anything, he just looked utterly exhausted. His false grin was weak as he wearily shook his head.

“no… but… it’s not surprising…” He rasped, flinching a bit when GB drifted over to nuzzle him again. The floating skull nudged him a few times but when he got little reaction he floated down to Sans’ side. Sans let the blaster wriggle under his arm, but made no move to pet him, acting as though he were barely aware GB was there at all.

“given what a mess i’ve been lately i wouldn’t be surprised if everyone has caught on what a complete wreck i am at this point…” He covered his face with his hands, groaning softly. “now pap’s gonna worry himself sick over this… i’m such a goddamn idiot…”

Toriel’s eyes softened with sympathy, but she worked some firmness into her voice as she replied.

“My friend, please do not say that…” She pressed, turning to face him better and setting the phone in her lap.

“I… I am beginning to understand why you’ve you kept this all to yourself… why you do not want Papyrus to know… Do not blame yourself for struggling to cope with it all, on top of trying to hide it as well… You should have never had to carry that burden…”

Toriel couldn’t help but feel choked up as the harsh reality of Sans’ situation settled on her soul. It was a reality that she would have to bear now as well, as her promise bound her to keeping all that the skeleton shared a secret of her own. She would endure it without question though, if it meant he could have even a little weight off his shoulders.

“We will figure this out Sans… remember that you are not alone in this anymore. I am sure as you continue sharing your story, you will find your soul far calmer in the long run, and I will be able to find more ways to help you better deal with it all…” She trailed off, biting her lip a bit.

“Though, I think it would be best for us to stop for today. You have been more than willing to be open with me and I deeply thank you for that, my friend. But you are clearly exhausted, and I know this has been terribly hard on you. Let us go home for now.”

She picked up Sans’ phone in one paw and held out the other to him, intending to help him up. Sans didn’t move, still curling his phalanges against his face. After a beat though, he did let out a wheezy chuckle and shake his head.

“nah… i… i need to finish this… we’ve barely even scratched the surface as it is…” He eventually said, rather breathlessly. “just… gotta not get all worked up again heh, i’m fine, it’ll be fine t…”

He lowered his hands and looked up at her with an attempted smile. But Toriel was nowhere near fooled. The terrible fatigue in his voice was enough to show he was in no condition to continue recounting the dark secrets of his past. But the thing that really twisted Toriel’s soul up with concern was his strange insistence to continue with all this.

Before, he had been clearly hesitant and nervous about speaking about this to her. The more he went on with his story though, the more determined he seemed to go through with it. The fact he wasn’t jumping at the chance to take a break from such a trying situation was more than a little alarming.

“Sans, there is no need to continue with this today.” She reiterated, worry faintly detectable in her voice. “It will do you no good at this point. We can always talk more tomorrow if you are feeling up to it. Like I said before, there is no rush with this.”

Sans’ expression remained defiant, and he attempted to straighten up more and face her with feigned confidence. “i said _i’m fine_ didn’t i tori?” he retorted, a touch of his previous anger creeping into his voice. “let’s just keep going… i can finish this…”

How odd it was, Toriel thought, to hear those words again from him in nearly the opposite situation. She blinked in uncertainty, trying to figure out the best way to respond. His words and actions were so unlike his usual self that they left her utterly baffled.

“My friend… Why do you insist on this all happening today? I assure you that it will be better for both of us if you rested before going on with this. We both need to process what we got through today, yes? You should take your time with this, spread it out over a few days… or however long you need. After all…”

Toriel paused, giving him a warm, reassuring smile.

“It is not as though I am just suddenly going to forget everything you have told me, right?”

The moment the words left her mouth, Sans reacted as though she had struck him directly in the soul.

A look of pure horror crossed his features, eye sockets going totally dark once more as her statement seemed to cause some terrible realization to click in his mind. The shock faded quickly though, and his expression turned to an achingly empty look of acceptance. The sight made Toriel feel as though her soul were being stabbed. What had she said to hurt him so? Confused guilt flooded through her and she shakily reached her paw out towards him again.

“Sans...?” She said his name quietly, her voice barely coming out above a whisper.

He stared back at her for a moment, then abruptly shot to his feet. GB tumbled off Sans’ lap with a yelp before righting himself and shooting his wielder an anxious look. The skeleton turned away from both of them, head hanging low so his hood hid his expression.

“ya know? you were right… i need a break.” He said, sounding detached and lifeless.

He spoke again before Toriel could even attempt a response, taking a single step forward.

“i’m going to grillby’s…”

With that, Toriel and GB were blinded by a sudden flash of pale blue light and Sans was gone.

 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

((BEAUTIFUL fan art for this chapter by Gabriella_Lu/Lau))

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ouch, writing this chapter hurt. There will be a breather from the angst next time though with some fun with drunk Sans -u- hope you look forward to it.


	5. Spirits

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another week, another super long chapter complete~ Happy first day of Halloween month, and hope you all enjoy. 
> 
> Spanish version of this chapter translated by the wonderful Gabriella_Lu/Lau can be found here!: https://www.wattpad.com/628269301-ut-todas-estas-piezas-rotas-soriel-by-paddiefrog
> 
> (Warnings for this chapter: Alcohol use)

Toriel remained sitting beneath the tree for some time after Sans vanished, trying to understand what had just happened. GB was darting about the tree dome, whining loudly as he poked under every low hanging branch of willows leaves as if expecting Sans could somehow be found underneath them. Toriel was far too lost in her own thoughts at the moment to attempt to console the blaster, laying limply against the tree and staring down at Sans’ phone in her paws.

Stars above, what had she done? Why had he reacted that way? There had to be a reason, surely what she’d said in and of itself should not have caused him such pain… Her own words repeated again and again in her mind, to the point they muted all the sounds around her.

_It is not as though I am just suddenly going to forget everything you have told me, right?_

What was it about this statement that had been so upsetting to him? It couldn’t be that… he actually thought she would forget everything…? She may poke fun at her own old soul from time to time, but surely he didn’t think her senile… No, that couldn’t be it, he was too smart for that… he knew that her soul’s age did not actually affect her mind or body in that way. And something like that would not have prompted such a harsh, devastating reaction.

Then what was it? As much as her mind raced on, she knew she would not find an answer, not without talking to him directly… and she had potentially just ruined the chances of that ever happening again. Even if it had been unintentional, that did not take away the damage she had done. She curled her claws tighter around Sans’ phone and bit her lip, struggling not to succumb to despair. She had no right to stew in her own guilt. She had messed up and hurt her friend… and she had to do what she could to fix that.

But she needed to give it a little time. Chasing after him right that moment most likely would not solve things. He needed some time to recover and Grillby’s might be the ideal place to do that, seeing as the eatery often seemed to serve as a place of respite for him. Perhaps he would at least get something to eat, she knew he had barely touched either of his meals that day. Although, there was a good chance given his current emotional state that he would be consuming something else there as well…

She laid her head in her paws, taking a few deep breaths and trying to force some resolve back into her soul. After all that had happened, she’d be lying if she claimed she wasn’t craving a nice tall bottle of wine herself. But there was no way she’d be indulging in such a thing. She neither deserved it, nor could afford to deal with its effects given the current situation.

Instead, she simply drew in another breath and slowly made herself to her feet. She would go back to the house and find some way to occupy herself while she waited for him to return. She wanted nothing more at the moment than to go down to Grillby’s herself and make things right with Sans, but pushing with this anymore could make the situation far worse than it already was. Though… perhaps she would at least text Grillby himself to ensure that Sans had made it there okay.

That would have to have to wait for the moment however, as Toriel had a more immediate matter to deal with.

“GB, come here, it is alright little one.” She called out to the blaster, putting a stop to his frantic darting about.

GB whined again, giving another hesitant glance around before heeding her and floating over to her side. Toriel reached over to stroke the tip of the blaster’s muzzle, willing him to meet her gaze.

“I know, I know… do not worry, he will come back…” She soothed, before pausing. She considered what she had just said before adding to it. “Well… depending on what happens I may have to go get him… regardless it will be alright, he will be okay GB.”

GB really was a fretful little thing. Whenever Sans had him out the blaster followed his wielder about as if they were attached at the hip. If Sans got out of his sight, GB would search for him tirelessly, working himself into an uproar all the while. He seemed a touch overprotective too, sometimes growling at unfamiliar people or monsters who got too close to the skeleton. Oddly, he sometimes did this to Frisk and Flowey as well, occasionally seeming on edge around them in particular. Toriel could never make sense of that, but conceded after a while that it was probably best if GB only came out when the children were away.

Even if his behaviors were sometimes strange and a little concerning, right now Toriel could relate to GB’s anxiety. At least she would not have to deal with her worries over Sans alone for the time being. She took a step forward, motioning for the blaster to follow her.

“Come now, let us return home for the moment. We need to give him a little time to calm down on his own terms… and then we will figure it out from there, okay?” Truthfully, the words were likely intended to soothe Toriel herself as well as GB.

GB was slow to respond, locking his eyelights on the spot where Sans had disappeared as he drifted alongside her. Sadly, it seemed no amount of willful staring could summon Sans back, no matter how much the blaster wished it. Grumbling softly, GB swept the whole dome with his eyelights one more time. He let out a soft yip of surprise when it seemed that he spotted something.

Toriel followed his gaze back to the tree trunk where they had been sitting as the blaster darted in that direction. She quickly realized what he had seen. Sans’ faded pink slippers were still laying in the grass from when he’d taken them off. In his sudden departure, it seemed that he had forgotten them. That meant Sans was currently at Grillby’s… with only his socks on. Perhaps she had no room to talk, as a monster who rarely if ever wore shoes, but something about that made her feel exasperated. Perhaps it was the knowledge that the sure to be filthy socks would inevitably end up on the floor somewhere in the house for her to find.

Truthfully though, she found it very difficult to be frustrated with him at all right now. She would happily accept him filling the house to the brim with dirty socks if it meant he would feel even a little better… If it meant that the horrible sting of her earlier words could be taken away.

She watched as GB hurriedly grabbed both slippers in his jaws, carefully carrying them by the heels as he whirled back towards Toriel. He darted back up in front of her and proudly displayed them, eyelights gleaming. She was not sure what he was so proud of, but she was happy to encourage him nonetheless.

“Well thank you so much GB.” She said, forcing herself to flash him a smile. “Look how helpful you are, I had nearly missed those! Would you mind carrying them back to the house for me?”

GB gave her a quick nod and zipped up to the edge of the willow dome, looking back at her in a way that indicated he was waiting for her. It seemed that having a task to focus on momentarily helped distract the blaster from his earlier frantic worrying. Toriel grimaced a bit as she began following after him, not really sure how she felt about the fact that her own coping tactics were nearly identical to GB’s. She quickly put her small smile back in place when the blaster shot her a confused look though, not wanting to snap him out of it.

As she reached the edge of the dome and began to push the long strands of hanging leaves aside, she cast one last look back at the spot where she and Sans had been sitting. A dull ache of guilt gripped her and she had to force herself to turn away or risk letting her emotions get the best of her. She bid the old tree a silent farewell, as well as a thank you, vowing to come back sometime soon under better circumstances. The old willow’s clusters of leaves swayed with a pleasant whooshing sound and Toriel could almost imagine it as a reply.

As they walked back to the house, Toriel busied herself by texting. She replied to a message she’d missed from Frisk first. Even though she knew her reply was not necessarily needed, she felt yet another pang of guilt that she had not remembered to respond in a timely manner. She carefully used the tip of a claw to type out her reply.

 

Dear Frisk,

I am dearly sorry that I took so long to get back to you. I have been rather distracted today. I am very happy to hear that you have arrived safely and are having a fun time. Please do thank Kid’s parents for all their trouble. Do not get into any trouble now, my child. L-O-L, I am only kidding, I know you will not. ]: ) I hope Kid enjoys their gift! Do send me a picture of the two of you wearing the ponchos when you have a chance. Have a wonderful time, my child.

Sincerely, Toriel.

 

Satisfied, she sent the text with a tap of her claw. Not before adding a picture attachment below it though, a picture of a cheese grater and a wedge of cheese with smiling faces and the words “Have a _Grate_ Time!” plastered below them.

She was still figuring out how to do more advanced texting techniques like properly sending pictures, but once she learned how she found it too much fun not to try as often as she could. The image gallery on her phone was filled with cutesy cartoons depicting puns of a similar caliber, alongside many pictures of her friends and family of course. She was grateful she had stockpiled a great deal of them, as she did not feel up to the task of coming up with her own jokes at the moment.

Once her phone chimed, indicating her reply had been sent, she wasted no time in beginning another message, this time to Grillby. She actually knew the fire elemental fairly well. He was an ancient soul like she and Asgore. Not quite immortal the same way they were, but very long lived. He had fought alongside them during the war with the humans and had been at least a casual acquaintance before then. After they had been sealed underground though, she had rarely seen him. There had apparently been efforts to recruit him into the royal guard, but he had refused, retreating into a quiet life far away from the bustle of New Home.

She had only really been re-introduced to him because of how much Sans frequented his bar. Upon seeing him again, he’d seemed the same as always. Stoic, composed and very rarely speaking a word. Communication had certainly never been the elemental’s strong suit. Sans had given her his number, but she had never tried texting him before. Her paws itched to just press the call button, but that would force Grillby to speak aloud and she didn’t want to pressure him out of his comfort zone. Texting was her best option, but what was the proper way to write to such a quiet individual? Should she use phrases that could be answered with a simple yes or no? She’d just have to try her best.

 

Dear Grillby,

Greetings, this is Toriel. It has been a while. I hope you are doing well. I was messaging to ask if Sans is there? He said he was heading there and he left his phone here. I just wanted to ensure he made it okay. I would greatly appreciate if you could let me know when you have the chance.

Thank you.

Sincerely,

Toriel.

 

She refrained from adding any puns to that particular message, even though she did have quite an impressive number of fire jokes she could pull from. After reading back over it a few times, she tapped the send button and lowered her phone to her side with a breathy sigh. It would have to do for now. She just hoped the elemental would reply quickly, otherwise she may not be able to resist going down to the restaurant and checking for herself.

Toriel was so caught up in her thoughts that she nearly ran right into her own front door. She only caught herself because GB let out a concerned yip at her side. She shot the blaster a bashful, but thankful grin before turning the door handle and stepping inside. Toriel immediately went over to the kitchen table, setting both phones she’d been carrying on it and leaning against it with a soft groan of frustration. She massaged her temple with a paw, trying to work out how she needed to handle the rest of the day. She had chores to do, yes, she could distract herself with those. There were dishes to finish washing, floors that could use mopping, curriculums for the upcoming school week to go over...

She glanced up when GB zipped up in front of her, still grinning proudly as he presented her with the slippers he was carrying. When she didn’t immediately react though, he opened his jaws and dropped them right on the table. She shot him a flat look, too worn out to reprimand him properly. Well, that was one more thing she could do, this was a rare opportunity to wash those ratty slippers Sans always wore. She wasn’t sure if the things had ever seen a washing machine. Settling on that idea, she reached over and picked them up, much to GB’s apparent delight.

After giving the blaster a snack of leftover hot cats to sustain his magic level in Sans’ absence, Toriel headed for the laundry room. The blaster followed, deciding to nap on a pile of towels as she prepped the machine for the first load. She let herself get lost in her work, diligently washing not only Sans’ maligned slippers, but whatever else she could find in the house that she felt could use it. As one load finished drying, she took her time folding and organizing each item into neat piles. All the while, she kept her phone in her lap, making sure to listen for the notification of a reply from Grillby.

Thankfully, around an hour into her task, it did finally come. She set aside Frisk’s striped sweater she’d be working the wrinkles out of and quickly brought the phone up to her face. She opened the message with a tap of a claw.

 

From: Grillby

Thank you for your message Toriel… Yes, Sans is here… He has been here for a little while now... Sorry for taking so long to reply… It has been rather busy here… The Friday rush you know… Sans seems a bit off to me though… has hardly said a word… just ordered some drinks… and a bottle of ketchup… that last part is not very strange…

 

It took her a bit to read the text, his odd tendency towards ellipsis causing her to read each line slower by instinct. When she did reach the end, Toriel sighed, the mention of Sans’ drinking not surprising her, but disappointing her nonetheless. Though, perhaps that disappointment was a touch hypocritical, seeing as she had a tendency to indulge in alcohol herself when stress got to her. She liked to believe she was a little more responsible about it though. From what she knew of her friend’s tendencies, Sans was likely not showing much restraint in the matter. She tapped out a response to Grillby in a hurried manner, hoping to keep up the conversation while he was still at his phone.

 

Dear Grillby,

Thank you for getting back to me. I am glad to hear he got there okay. I am afraid it has been a rather rough day for him. How bad is it? Do you think I should come pick him up?

Sincerely,

Toriel.

 

She purposely kept out the fact that she knew exactly why he was so unlike himself. She told herself it was because she had to keep Sans’ secret, but the burning guilt within her told her it was due to her own shame. She hoped that none of her strained emotions were somehow evident through her written words. As she waited for his reply, she focused on pairing socks that had come out of the dryer. She found that the task no longer kept her mind occupied properly though, the majority of her focus remaining on the phone in her lap. She may have put one of her purple swirl pattern socks with one of her snail pattern socks in her absent-mindedness.

Luckily for her and her socks, Grillby’s response came rather quickly.

 

From: Grillby

I see… Well, he seems a little affected perhaps but… The drinks he ordered are fairly light… and I have seen him much worse… I would not worry… In fact, he seems to be cheering up a bit… He is currently chatting with Dogamy and Dogaressa… Seems to be in fairly good spirits… From what I can tell…

 

Toriel wasn’t sure how relieved she should feel at that, but some of the anxiety fell away regardless. She knew he was likely just buzzed enough to forget what he had been through and put up his routine act, but even that was good to hear at this point. She had a hard time picturing him acting as his usual self after how hollow he’d looked when he departed. Grillby had no reason to lie to her though, and his reassurance quieted a bit of her paranoia for the moment. She returned his message far more casually this time, no longer feeling the need to rush.

 

Dear Grillby,

Thank you again for taking the time to reply to me, I am relieved to hear all of this. I will let you get back to your work. Just, if you will, keep an eye on him for me when you can? If he seems like he would have trouble getting home, I would appreciate you letting me know. Papyrus is not here at the moment to take him back, so I will come in his place if need be.

Thanks again and have a lovely evening.

Sincerely,

Toriel.

 

She sent the text and was glad to find some level of relief from all her worrying. Even though she still hated Sans’ tendency to force an act when he was clearly hurting, it seemed that her friend’s “fake it until you make it” strategy at least let him bounce back quickly from even the most harrowing situations. Her words had obviously caused him pain, but it was nothing he couldn’t recover from. Certainly, from all she had heard that day, the skeleton had been through worse… far worse.

She suppressed a shudder, deciding she was still not ready to fully go over everything he had revealed to her yet. It was a lot to digest, and if she hadn’t ruined things for good, there could be even more to take in in the future. Even if it felt a little wrong, she forced herself to return her focus to the laundry for the time being. After all the shocking, disturbing and heart-breaking things she had endured that day, it was an irresistible comfort to return to something so normal.

She continued with it for well into an hour, ensuring every item of clothing in the piles she had gathered was spotless and free of wrinkles. She may have, admittedly, gone a bit overboard… but it still left her feeling a decent sense of fulfillment as she went about the house and hung up the clothing in everyone’s respective closets. When she made her final return to the laundry room to finish up, she realized she had left just one thing sitting in the basket where she had stacked the dry clothing. Sans’ pale pink slippers.

The sight broke her out of the temporary state of detachment she had managed to lull herself into, bringing back reality like a punch to the gut. Somewhat subconsciously, she strolled over and picked up the sad pair of slippers in one paw, running over the top of them with the other. The wash had done them good, bringing back a faint hint of softness to the fuzzy material and giving them a much more agreeable scent. Nothing could be done for their faded color or their general poor state from years of wear, however.

As she stood there holding the slippers close to her chest, worries over Sans returned in full force. How much of his apparent rebound from her damaging words was his usual farce, further bolstered by alcohol? How badly was he hurting right now? What level of anger or sense of betrayal did he feel towards her for what she had said? What was he planning to-

She tensed up as something suddenly occurred to her, something she had not considered before. What if Sans did not intend to return home at all? It certainly wasn’t out of the question… He had a notable tendency to avoid his problems however he could. The idea of him disappearing off somewhere, even just for a while, because of something she had done made her soul feel numb.

Luckily for her, a rater timely tone from her phone alerted her that she had received another text, breaking her out of her panicked thoughts. She set the slippers on top of the washing machine and quickly moved to scoop it up, opening the message before even bringing it up to her face.

 

From: Grillby

Hello again, Toriel… as per your request earlier… I feel as though I must let you know… I stepped away for a while to prep some burgers in the back… and Sans took the opportunity to... take a bottle of spirits from behind the bar… he told me to “put it on his tab”, which I have… but he and Dogamy have had quite a lot of it… He is no state now to get himself home… If it is no trouble… I think it would be best if you came to pick him up… before he tries to do anything himself…

 

Toriel wasted little time in tapping out a reply, already spinning on her heels and heading towards the front door. She didn’t even bother writing out her usual eloquent greeting and sign off, she just settled for:

 

Thank you Grillby, I will be there in 10 minutes.

 

She grabbed her bag from its place hanging by the door and called over her shoulder to GB as he watched after her groggily from where he had been sleeping.

“GB, I will be right back, alright? Please be good and stay here okay? It will only be a little while.” She assured him, trying not to let her voice betray her anxieties.

The blaster blinked sleepily at her before giving a slow nod and settling back on the pile of towels. Toriel was eternally grateful at the moment that the blaster seemed to share his wielder’s lazy nature. She was already a bundle of nerves, dealing with a drunken and potentially unstable Sans _and_ a blaster who tended to get antsy around strangers would have been too much.

She left the house in a hurry, locking up with fumbling paws before rushing down the driveway. Papyrus had taken his red sports car on his trip which left her with the large family van they had recently purchased. It was kind of oversized for just going to pick up one person, but it would have to do. She wasted little time getting in and pulling off towards the dirt road. She thanked the stars Grillby’s bar was nearby, she was still getting used to driving as it was and operating gas pedals with her large paws did not make it any easier. She kept her wits about her though, quickly but carefully heading towards the paved street that led into Newer Home’s main center. As she drove, the colors of evening started painting the sky and the sun began to slowly slip behind the towering shape of Mt. Ebbot.

\-------

Toriel had mixed feelings on Grillby’s. A sentiment that was furthered as she hurriedly entered the establishment upon arriving. It wasn’t the greasy food or the often drunken patrons that bothered her. In fact, compared to her old life of overly fanciful royal banquets and endless expected dining etiquette, she found the simple bar quite comforting and charming. No, it was the monsters who frequented the bar that often made her visits uneasy for her.

Grillby’s was a popular hangout, especially now with its move to the surface. It was practically never empty as far as she could tell. Unfortunately, that meant Toriel was almost certain to draw a fair amount of attention every time she visited. She understood it, it was natural monsters would be curious at the sight of their former queen in such a quaint little eatery. Especially now that everyone in the kingdom was well aware of who she was… used to be. But frankly she was tired of it, she was tired of all the gawking, uncomfortable silences and especially the questions that sometimes got fired her way. Questions that often came off as accusatory rather than genuinely interested.

On top of that, she was well aware that there were still monsters who held rather dire opinions of her. She had heard the things they whispered when they thought she wasn’t listening. Calling her a deserter, an unstable recluse… even a downright traitor. Her ex-husband had always been the more popular one with their subjects, and that was only incredibly amplified now. In her days as queen, she would have been collected, articulate and confident in defending her honor from any who would speak against her like this. Now though, after spending nearly a century in solitude, her social and public speaking skills were not what they used to be. So it was that she often found herself overwhelmed in a public place like this, forced to endure all those questioning, occasionally bitter eyes trained upon her.

Toriel did her best to not dwell on the idea as she stepped inside, keeping herself focused on why she had come in the first place. Sure enough though, the place was packed and many eyes and various other methods of sight were turned her way. A small hush settled over the crowd, not quite dipping into silence but enough that it was still noticeable. The music from the jukebox felt painfully loud in the sudden quiet.

After a few moments, most of the regulars turned away, if only to be civil. A good number still stared though, a variety of reactions on their faces. Toriel purposely drew herself up and ignored them, pushing past a large tiger monster as politely as she could and heading towards the bar at the back of the restaurant. As she walked, the sound of chatter began to slowly start up again. But much of it still remained muted, as if they did not wish for her to hear them.

She felt a surge of relief when she spotted Grillby behind the bar, and Sans quickly after seated at his usual bar stool. Grillby seemed to mirror that relief, putting a flaming hand to his chest and letting out a small puff of clear smoke from his mouth as he appeared to sigh. Toriel hurried over to Sans’ side, quickly taking in the scene before her.

Sans was leaning against the bar, laying his skull on one folded arm. His other hand was lazily wrapped around the neck of a bottle, thankfully only about a third of it emptied, and definitely the swiped spirits that Grillby had mentioned. A couple of empty glasses and an empty ketchup bottle sat on the bar around him as well, painting a clear picture of what had been taking place here over the past few hours. And sure enough, his slipper-less socked feet dangled off the chair, only adding to his disheveled appearance.

He swayed a bit where he sat and was staring over at Grillby with hazy eyelights. He was also sporting a wobbly grin that Toriel had come to associate with her friend in his drunken state. He didn’t notice her approach, continuing to babble on to Grillby as he clearly had been for some time.

“grillbzzz… come on, ‘s not like you to give me the _cold_ shoulderr…” He drawled, shooting the elemental a lazy wink.

Grillby made no comment, just giving Toriel a nod before collecting the empty glasses around Sans and carrying them to the sink. Dogamy, who was sitting on the stool beside Sans, howled with laughter though, pounding a paw on the table and wagging his tail furiously. The drunken dog monster’s tongue lolled out of his mouth as he turned, probably to comment on Sans’ joke, but he froze up when he saw Toriel.

“Your majessttyy?” Dogamy slurred questioningly, tilting his head to one side.

Toriel paid him no mind, giving Sans’ shoulder a gentle shake and speaking his name in an effort to gain his attention.

“Sans... It is me, my friend. I have come to take you home.” She said, keeping her voice somewhat low in an attempt to not attract any more unwarranted attention to herself.

Sans did finally look up at her at that, eyelights focusing just a bit at the sight of her. There was no trace of the horror or shock from before though. In fact, his expression did not change at all, he just shot her the same goofy smile he’d directed at Grillby before.

“toriii, when did you get heree?” He asked, chuckling to himself a bit.

He suddenly swung the bottle in his hand out towards her, causing some of it to slosh over his phalanges.

“you ssshould have some... sit with uss… we’ve been having a…” He shot a sideways glance at Dogamy again. “… _doggone_ good time.”

Dogamy succumbed to barks of laughter again, clearly more from the alcohol then from actually finding the joke funny. Toriel was sure just about anything said in a joking tone would be enough to get the dog monster laughing. Truly they were both absolutely hammered at this point.

“No, my friend.” She replied simply, gently taking the bottle from him but setting it on the counter as far away from them as she could reach. “I appreciate the offer but… you have clearly had enough. Come now, we should get you home.”

Sans blinked, mild confusion on his face. Without the bottle in his hand, he hung onto the bar instead, steadying himself as best he could while he faced her.

“what? not even a chuckle…? damnn I must reallyyy suck at everrything today… sorryy t.” He replied, seeming to ignore her request in favor of commenting on the lack of her usual reaction to his puns.

She sighed, honestly wishing she was in a situation where she _could_ laugh at his silly jokes like she usually did. But her sense of humor seemed to be out of commission at the moment, struck down by a choking feeling of guilt. Her expression saddened as she spoke again.

“Do not apologize my friend, it is not you… I am just… I am so sorry about what happened… I did not intend to upset you so badly before…” She responded softly, rubbing her paws together.

Her words seemed to spark a small flash of recognition in him, and his smile waned for a moment. But it returned rather quickly and he haphazardly waved a hand in a dismissive manner.

“oh… well like… don’t be all sadd about that okayy? don’t worry bout it… i was just being dumb… s’not like you couldaa known bout…”

Sans trailed off, eyelights dulling a bit and becoming quite hazy again. He put a hand to the side of his skull and swayed in his seat a bit.

“waitt… what were we talking bout again?” He asked, giving her a vaguely sheepish grin.

Toriel realized then what should have been obvious. Now was not the time for this. Sans was in no condition to be discussing what had happened between them. She would just have to be content for now that he didn’t seem to hold any ill will towards her for it all. She shook her head and willed herself to smile back at him.

“Never mind it, we can discuss it later. Let us go home for now.” She said, before she held out a paw to him.

He stared at her paw for a bit, looking as though he might want to protest, but he did eventually put his hand in hers. Before she could help him down though, Dogamy let out an overdramatic whimper and looked at the two of them with big, sad eyes.

“Do ya really gotta leave Sans? You’lll miss the rest of the celllebrating!” The dog monster said plaintively.

Sans gave him a shrug in reply, letting Toriel steady him as he hopped down from the barstool.

“sorry pupper… them’s the brakes. you know that when pap showsss up here, it means i gotta go.” He paused, looking between both of their confused faces before correcting himself. “oh right, yer not pap… heh heh heh.. he’s off at that “beach training”… loada bs that is… sorry t, I know yer not my bro...heh”

Toriel couldn’t help but feel a touch of amusement at his ramblings. As much as she was saddened to see what her careless words had driven him to, it didn’t change the fact Sans was often quite entertaining when inebriated.

“I would certainly hope you know that.” She indulged him in a teasing tone, grin growing a little more believable.

She hesitated to let go of his hand, not confident in his ability to keep himself upright at the moment.

“Do you think you can walk okay?” She asked uncertainly.

Sans waved her paw off, nodding with drunken confidence.

“sure i cannn, no problem at alll.” He slurred, before attempting to take a few staggering steps.

As Toriel expected though, his addled sense of balance failed him and she had to grab his hand again to keep him from tumbling backwards. He grinned up at her, shrugging his free shoulder a bit.

“welp, maybe not… heh heh heh.”

His momentary spill had attracted a fair few more of the patron’s gazes in their direction and Toriel had to force herself to not acknowledge any of them. With what she knew she was going to have to do, she’d just have to accept being the center of attention for a while.

“Well then, my friend, it seems I have no choice.” She said, and despite it all, there was a touch of humor in her tone.

He quirked a brow ridge at her and something in his expression told her he knew what she meant. He didn’t seem to have a problem with it, so without further hesitation, she knelt down and scooped him up bridal style, lifting him easily into her arms. As before, it struck her as odd just how light he really was. If she really wanted to, she could easily hold him with just one paw. It took a moment of adjustment but the surprise at his lack of weight turned to appreciation for it, as it made the situation quite a deal easier for her. She met his gaze to gauge his reaction. This wasn’t the first time she had carried him, but some part of her always worried that he would feel belittled or embarrassed when she did it.

Sans showed no signs of that though, just shooting her that same wobbly smile and settling into her arms as if it were the most natural thing in the world. He was back to rambling and making puns again in no time at all.

“gee tori, how’d ya know i needed _a pick me up?_ ” He quipped, giving her a lazy wink.

Okay, that one got her a little. She stifled a snort of amusement, not wanting to laugh her usual boisterous laugh in the middle of this nosy crowd. Stars, she would never hear the end of it if she let that happen. Sans brightened at her small reaction though, grin widening and eyelights shining with warmth.

“hehh, gotcha that time didnn’ i?” He slurred, looking rather proud of himself.

Oh, how things always seemed to go the same way for them. She goes to him with the intention of helping him with his troubles and yet he always finds some way to cheer _her_ up instead. Even after all she had put him through that day and with his soul swimming in alcohol, he was still worried more for her happiness over his own.

 _“Why do you never think of yourself, my friend?”_ She thought sadly, subconsciously holding him a little closer.

Toriel did allow herself to return his pun, if only to keep up his good mood. There was no telling how long his drunken state of bliss would last after all.

“I suppose you did.” She replied warmly, somewhat forgetting to keep her voice low at this point. “in fact, in my opinion, when it comes to your jokes… tonight you have really… _raised the bar_.”

It seemed that with the added effect of all the alcohol involved, her joke must have seemed like the best one he’d heard in years, because _he_ was the one to succumb to laughter. He covered his face with his hands and giggled uncontrollably. His laughter was not loud like her own, more like a greatly amused wheezing, but she still somewhat regretted it as she felt the eyes of the crowd boring into her once more. Not only that, but she heard Dogamy start laughing again too as well as another voice from that direction.

She turned to see Dogaressa had appeared at her husband’s side, snorting loudly into a paw as she helped Dogamy up from his stool. Both dog monsters continued their yips of amusement as Dogaressa looped her love’s arm about her shoulders and got him to his feet. She met Toriel’s eyes after composing herself and smiled playfully.

“That was very funny your highn- er… Toriel!” She complimented her, tail still wagging excitedly. “Usually it’s just Sans telling all the puns here, I never thought anyone else shared his sense of humor!”

Toriel tried not to let her minor embarrassment turn her smile into a grimace. Sans was still recovering from his fit of laughter in her arms and his giddy wheezing made it even harder to keep a straight face.

“Well… um, thank you…” Toriel managed to reply.

In truth, she wasn’t too keen on getting into a conversation with this monster she had never spoken to before. She wanted to just leave, get back home and get away from all these monsters and their staring eyes. But she couldn’t be rude, so she forced herself to keep talking for a bit.

“You are not partaking in any drinks tonight?” She asked, noting the dog monster’s clear sobriety in the crowd of inebriated monsters.

Dogaressa shook her head, long ears flopping. “Nope! But it’s for a wonderful reason! The reason we are celebrating!” She yipped, nuzzling her husband’s cheek affectionately. “Tell her dearest!”

Dogamy straightened up as best he could in his drunken state, eyes brightening with joy and his tail wagging so quickly it nearly became a blur.

“PUPPIES!!” He shouted, nearly sending him and his wife to the floor with his declaration. “WE ARE HAVING PUPPIES!! I AM GOING TO BE A FATHER!!”

He then covered his wife’s face with many loving licks, causing Dogaressa to giggle in delight.

“The doctor says I am carrying a litter of eight!” She managed to say between her husband’s displays of affection. “They will be here near the start of July!”

Toriel couldn’t control the sudden smile that spread across her face and she could practically feel her own eyes sparkling. Any hesitation towards the conversation disappeared.

“Congratulations! Oh, how wonderful…” She replied, voice genuine. She accidently squeezed her arms around Sans perhaps a little too tightly in her sudden rush of emotion.

No matter her mood, the subject of children or babies always made her soul feel warm within her. The idea that the Dogi’s puppies would be among the first monsters born on the surface was enough to bring a tear to her eye. They had such a bright future ahead of them, so much more to look forward to compared to those born in the dark, claustrophobic world of the Underground. She could not wait to meet them one day, perhaps she would even get to teach them at her school!

Her spiral of joyful thoughts was cut off when Sans’ spoke up from his place in her arms.

“toriii, yer crussshing mee.” He slurred, sounding more amused than anything though.

Toriel quickly loosened her grip, shooting him an apologetic look.

“Oh! I am sorry my friend…”

She shook herself out of her thoughts, focusing back on the task at hand. She had come here to take him home, had she not? Sans kept talking though, addressing the dog couple this time.

“you guysss better bring those pups by the house sometimee once they arrive, else tori might explodeee…” He said, giving Toriel a poke as he talked.

She gave Sans a flat look, only to earn another playful poke to her muzzle. The dog monsters seemed oblivious to her reaction though, nodding enthusiastically in response to the request.

“Oh certainly!” Dogaressa piped up. “We will have them meet everyone! Oh, I am just so excited!”

She paused a moment and seemed to take in the way Toriel was holding Sans, tilting her head ever so slightly. Toriel froze up, realizing just how she might be interpreting the sight of them. Her mind began racing, trying to come up with some explanation she could give. But she barely had a moment to think anything through before the dog monster spoke again.

“That looks fun! Let’s try it too, sweetheart!” She exclaimed before sweeping her husband in front of her and into her arms.

This proved to be a much more difficult task for her compared to Toriel, but she did not flinch from it. She lifted the drunken Dogamy up and managed to cradle him properly. Toriel was impressed, it seemed the dog monster was quite a bit stronger than she looked. Dogamy sputtered in surprise but managed to balance himself. The couple nuzzled their noses together again for a bit before looking back at them.

“Well, we must be off now! This was great fun but us soon-to be puppy parents need our rest!”  
Dogaressa declared, giving Sans and Toriel a nod. “It was nice to see you two, especially you Toriel! Sans talks about you all the time when he comes here. It is great to see you in person. Don’t be afraid to stop by more often! We’d love to get to know you better!”

Toriel nodded a bit hesitantly in response, quite grateful for the dog monster’s sentiment but still not sure she could honor her request… not yet at least. The Dogi may accept her, but there was no telling what the bar’s other regulars thought of her. Perhaps though, she would at least consider coming by again on a less crowded night. Sans would probably like that, and his friends did seem to be quite approachable. She decided that for now, she wouldn’t dismiss the possibility.

The dog couple thanked Grillby and a few other nearby patrons before Dogaressa headed for the door, proudly carrying her husband all the while. Toriel was thankful for them taking the attention off of her for a bit. Perhaps she could slip out with Sans before they all directed their interest at her again.

Speaking of Sans, she noticed that he had gone quite stiff at Dogaressa’s mention of how he apparently often talked about Toriel. She looked down at him to see he was staring after the dog monsters’ retreating forms with a look of vague frustration. His cheekbones had taken on a now familiar cyan hue as well, seeming to indicate to her that the remark had left him quite flustered. Toriel knew she should be taking the opportunity of the moment to leave unnoticed, but she couldn’t help but tease him just a little.

“You talk to them about me?” She asked, quirking an eyebrow and shooting him a wry grin.

Her question had the effect she thought it would, he flinched a bit and the color on his face increased considerably. He was suddenly quite sweaty as well, eyelights darting about nervously. Even in his inebriated state, the question prompted a sober-enough response.

“w-well s-sure… ya know…” He sputtered, flailing his hands a bit as he spoke. “I talk to themm bout everyone… not just youu. I may have mentioned you a few timess… ‘so what? like why s’it a big deall? does it surprisse you that much?”

She giggled softly at his response and shook her head.

“No, my friend, I guess it does not surprise me… I hope it is good things you are saying about me though. Are you sure you are not simply complaining about the bossy lady you live with who worries too much?” She asked, playfully feigning a bit of a hurt tone.

Sans narrowed his eye sockets, looking slightly affronted.

“course not, you’re the bessst tori, i said that beforee didn’ i? i told them bout how funny you are and yer great baking ssskills and bout how yer such a cool teach now and- “

He cut himself off, realizing the extent of his rambling. He covered his face with his hands and let out a groan. Toriel had to try very hard not to laugh at his expense, biting her lip and stifling a snort of amusement.

“toriii… ‘s not fair to ask me this stuff r’now… ‘m super drunk…” He drawled, freeing one hand to pull his hood up and then tugging on both drawstrings under it concealed nearly his whole face.

Toriel gave him a little squeeze, letting it basically function as an apologetic hug.

“I am dearly sorry my friend, do not be embarrassed.” She said, voice warm and jovial. “You are just so funny like this. For what is worth, I am quite flattered. I tell my students about you sometimes as well.”

He loosened his grip on the drawstrings slightly, allowing a bit of his eye sockets to be visible again.

“what d’ya tell em?” He asked, looking a bit suspicious.

“Very much the same, my friend, but if you want specifics, perhaps you could ask me the next time _I_ have a little too much to drink.”

She saw his eye sockets narrow again and he grumbled something unintelligible. Then he sighed and released both strings completely, leaving his hood up but letting his face be visible again. A light dusting of color still showed on his cheekbones, but his wobbly smile was back in place.

“finne…” he conceded, shrugging his shoulders a bit. “point taken, I guesss.”

Toriel let out another soft giggle at that, before reassessing the situation in the room around them. They had drawn quite a few eyes again, though most at this point were at least making an effort to hide their staring. It was best for them to get going before any of them were brave enough to come up to her and start asking questions. The encounter with the Dogi had been pleasant enough, but she was just about spent socially for the evening.

“Let us get going now, as fun as this has been, I am still worried about just how much you’ve had to drink tonight… Plus… You have had a very trying day today my friend, we both have… but you especially need some rest.” She said, the somberness she’d entered the bar with returning to her voice.

“mmm… k tori…” was all Sans uttered in response, his eye sockets drooping a bit and his eyelights becoming rather hazy again.

That was more than enough of a cue for her to get going. She caught Grillby’s attention and waved a paw as much as she could manage in a goodbye motion. The fire elemental gave her a simple nod in response, seemingly absorbed in his task of drying off the glass in his hand, but Toriel thought she could see the barest hint of a smile on his face.

She shifted Sans slightly in her arms into a more comfortable position and began towards the door, doing her best to keep near the walls and avoid wandering gazes. A few monsters did watch them the entire time, but at least had the decency to leave it at that. One very drunken rabbit monster in particular stared at them with an odd look of disappointment in her swirly eyes. Toriel didn’t slow down, not wanting to present an opportunity for her or anyone else to potentially drag them into another conversation.

Finally, she reached the door and pushed it open with her shoulder, grateful to find it opened outwards. She felt a massive rush of relief as she stepped into the cool air of the evening, letting all the noise and gawking eyes vanish behind her as the door swung shut. She leaned her back against it for a moment, closing her eyes as she took a deep breath and let it out in a sigh. That had all gone better than expected, but it still left her feeling drained. She decided to take a moment to compose herself before she had to go to the car and drive them both home.

Her behavior was not lost on Sans, even in his inebriated state. She could feel his concerned gaze on her. She made herself open her eyes and look down at him again. He clearly had not sobered up much, if it all, but his speech seemed a bit more coherent and focused.

“hey… you ‘lright tori?” He asked, expression looking vaguely guilty. “m’… reall sorry you had to come… get me like this. i shouldn’ of… run off like that…”

Toriel shook her head in response, expression soft.

“It is alright my friend, do not blame yourself for being upset. Clearly, I said something I did not realize would hurt you. And after everything else, I cannot blame you for acting the way you did. Though yes, going off to get drunk may not have been the _best_ way to handle it.”

She said the last part with playful smile, hoping to keep the conversation as lighthearted as she could. There would be plenty of time for reflecting on the true weight of the situation later. The alcohol in his system had kept Sans quite giddy all evening at the bar, but she worried how it would affect him if the despair he’d experienced before began creeping back in again. Alcohol and such negative emotions did not mix well. It would be best if she could help keep up his good mood until he had sobered up.

Thankfully, her efforts seemed to work, as her remark made Sans’ smile return to his face, even if it was weaker than before.

“heh, truee… I’m gonna be a friggn’ mess tomorrow.” he replied, grinning sheepishly. “guesss it serves me right…” He paused for a moment, alcohol addled thoughts clearly taking longer than usual for him to process.

“oh, uh, also… don’t worry about what’cha said beforee… it’ll make sense whyy i… y’know… we’ll uuh… we’ll get to that part eventually… heh.”

Toriel blinked, feeling a twinge of surprise at that. She was sure he’d become fed up with the whole idea of talking to her about everything at this point. She couldn’t be positive it wasn’t just the alcohol talking, but she was glad to hear that some part of him was still on board nonetheless. She’d see what he had to say regarding it tomorrow, but she let the reassurance melt away some of the tension in her soul for now.

Feeling fairly restored, she pushed away from the door and began making her way towards where she had parked the van. It was a fair ways away, due to the parking lot being so crowded when she’d arrived. Now that some patrons had begun to leave though, the car almost looked lonely as it sat alone near the back of the lot. As she started towards it, she glanced down at Sans once more.

“Very well, my friend, I will keep that in mind. And I thank you for your continuing trust.” She responded softly, holding him a bit closer to her as she did so.

Sans only replied with a nod and a soft sound of affirmation, seeming to be lost in thought again. After a moment though, he blinked and his eyelights shimmered mischievously.

“hey, ya know t, you caan’t be _too_ mad at me for deciiding to drink my problemss away.” He slurred as Toriel walked, grin stretching back across his face.

“Have you forgottenn the day afterr those humans triedd to deny you your license to teach? Youu had like three glassess of wine? a bunch of lil’ pizzas were thrown at mee?”

Toriel frowned hard and furrowed her eyebrows at him.

“I thought we agreed not to discuss that again.” She said, tone vaguely irritated. “I can drop you and make you walk to the car yourself, you know.”

Sans chuckled weakly and held his hands up in surrender. “ok… ok… heh heh heh.”

She let out a “hmph” and kept walking, keeping her gaze locked on the car for the rest of the way there. He had a point, but she wasn’t about to admit that. That incident had been rather embarrassing for a number of reasons and she didn’t need him bringing it up when she was so worn out. She supposed she’d forgive him though, the teasing was probably only fair after everything that had happened. And it seemed to be keeping him in a good mood at least.

They reached the car and Toriel rounded it to the passenger’s side. She unlocked the door and pulled it open, carefully letting Sans down as she did so. He still swayed a bit as he crawled up onto the seat, but managed it eventually. She remained beside him until she was sure he was stable, reminding him to buckle his seatbelt before shutting the door. He obliged, with much amusement shining in his eyelights.

As she climbed into the driver’s seat, she saw he was staring down at his socked feet with a confused look on his face.

“whaa? did i… lleave my slippers in there?” He asked, glancing towards the bar again.

Toriel gave a light chuckle, pulling her own seatbelt across her front.

“No Sans, you left them behind when you went to Grillby’s.” She explained, prompting him to look back over at her. “They are back at the house, I took the opportunity to wash them for you.”

Sans blinked slowly, processing what she was implying.

“so… i have been aat grillby’s… without myy slippers… this whole time?” He asked, speaking each part with notable pauses in between.

Toriel nodded, grin widening as she turned the key to start the van. “You certainly have, I am surprised you never noticed… I would have expected someone to have told you at least.”

Sans just stared blankly forward for a few more moments before looking back down at his feet with a soft “huh”.

Silence stretched between the pair for a while after that, as Toriel pulled the car out to the road again. There was a fair bit of traffic as many monsters were leaving the city center to head home for the night. The colors of the evening sky faded as the sun finally slipped beyond the horizon, enveloping the world below in the darkness of night. The lights of Newer Home glowed all around them as they got stuck in a small traffic jam on the main road funneling out of the city.

Toriel glanced at Sans as they waited for the next group of cars to move ahead of them. He was listing against the window, eye sockets drooping. Stars, he looked so exhausted… It seemed to her everything that had happened that day was really catching up with him. He should be out like a light at this point, yet she could tell he was fighting it, shaking himself awake whenever he would begin to nod off. Concern swirled through her soul as she gripped the wheel tighter in her paws. She turned her gaze back to the road, but watched him as best she could out of the corner of her eye.

“You can sleep, my friend.” She said gently, finally breaking the silence.

Sans jumped slightly and turned to look at her, blurry eyelights attempting to focus.

“I know you are tired…” She went on before he could retort. “It is fine. I do not mind carrying you inside when we get there. It is no trouble. Besides… I do not think you are sober enough to walk properly anyway.”

She said the last part with a touch of humor again, hoping to cheer him up as she had before. But it did not seem to work this time, as his smile remained weak and the exhaustion on his features did not soften at all. He kept silent as the traffic ahead finally cleared a bit, allowing them through. Toriel had to focus on her driving for the next few minutes, trying not to let the worry that gripped her get the better of her. As they got on to the dirt road heading towards their neighborhood, she was able to slow down and drive at a more relaxing pace.

It was then, as they left the lights of the city behind them, Sans did finally reply.

“can’t sleep… not tonight…” He mumbled, the fatigue in his voice showing that his soul clearly thought otherwise.

Toriel gave him another glance, trying not to show just how much his statement worried her.

“Why ever not?” She asked, though part of her felt she already knew the answer, it pushed her to add to the question. “Is it because of… your nightmares?”

The skeleton chuckled humorlessly, seeming to draw deeper into his hoodie as he rubbed at his eye sockets.

“…yah…” He admitted, voice somewhat hoarse. “y’know with all thaat stuff we talked aboutt… with the doc and all… its all kindaa… in my head again… i haven’t thought about it in a lonng time… plus i’m drunk as helll… heh. i’m not about to deall with what my sub-consciouss is looking to cook up forr me with those variables…”

She could see out of the corner of her eye as he leaned back in the chair and shrugged his shoulders.

“also… like… didn’ pap say he was gonna calll? can’t snooze through thaat “again” right?” He added, making lazy air quotes as he said the word.

Toriel didn’t respond right away. They were pulling up at the house now, and she waited until she parked the car to finally turn and face him again. She tried to look somewhat stern for what she said next, but she felt like she most likely just looked sad more than anything.

“Sans, you know you cannot do that to yourself… There is no way you will last until morning in the state you are in… Even if you could, it is not good for you, my friend...” She said, subconsciously laying a paw against her chest as she spoke.

Sans met her words with another dismissive shrug, there was a touch of defensiveness to it too.

“heh, don’t worry bou’ it… i’ve done this plenny a times… it’s no big deall.” He retorted, his slurring seeming to get a little worse.

Toriel stayed firm, hardening her expression further.

“And have any of the times you have done this helped you with this problem in the long run?” She asked, tone shifting to become serious.

Sans flinched slightly at the question, stiffening up and looking away. He didn’t seem to have an answer to that. A soft rattling sound alerted her to the fact he’d started trembling a bit.

Toriel let her frustration escape her with a sigh, willing her voice to take on a gentle tone again.

“Sans… you were willing to open up to me about your past in an effort to let me help you. So please… let me help you with this too. I am sure there is something that can be done so that you can get some sleep tonight.”

She unbuckled her seat belt and scooted a little closer, reaching out to lay a paw softly on his shoulder. She prepared herself to pull it away if he shied from it, but he didn’t move, so she left it and rubbed the spot gently.

“I am more than happy to stay up with you until we can figure this out. We are in this together from now on, are we not? Even if we do not make much progress tonight, I know that, like with everything else, taking a step will make a difference. I just need you to be willing to try, my friend… can you do that for me?”

The skeleton kept his gaze away from her, but did not jump to argue. She could feel the tension in his body under her paw. It remained that way long enough that she began to think of something else to say, but then she felt him relax, the tension fading from him. He turned his head back towards her. He didn’t meet her eyes but he nodded slightly, looking more exhausted than ever.

“…alright…” He conceded, voice low. Leaving it at that.

Toriel gave his shoulder a squeeze, a familiar warmth mixing with the icy worry in her soul. She smiled gratefully down at him, more for herself than him though, it seemed.

“Thank you, my friend...” She replied simply, wanting to say more, but also feeling the terrible weight of exhaustion settling on her own shoulders.

She pulled away for a moment to slip out of the car and round it over to the passenger’s side. She opened it and leaned down with the intention of picking him up again. This time though, as she slid an arm around his middle he suddenly leaned up and wrapped his own arms around her neck. The surprise of that gave her momentary pause, but she quickly adjusted in order to accommodate him, more than happy to allow it.

She could feel him shuddering as she closed her arms around him, and it made her soul ache terribly for him. Worse than that though, was now with his soul so close to her own, she could once again feel the emotions flowing from it firsthand. They were somewhat muted, perhaps from all the alcohol’s effect on his magic, but they were certainly detectable nonetheless. Right at that moment, more than anything else, he was deeply afraid. Toriel swallowed against a lump in her throat, hoping she could indeed make good on her word and find some way to ease the fear that was gripping him. And, by the stars above, help her poor friend get some sleep.

But as she shut and locked the van door, then began towards the house, something in Toriel’s soul told her it was going to be a long night for the both of them.

 

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((BEAUTIFUL fanart for this chapter by Gabriella_Lu/Lau))

 


	6. Long Night (Part 1)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little late due to some work bs, but here you go~ Finally getting into the soriel a bit here yaay ;D  
> Hope you enjoy~ 
> 
> Spanish version of this chapter translated by the wonderful Gabriella_Lu/Lau can be found here!: https://www.wattpad.com/630247956-ut-todas-estas-piezas-rotas-soriel-by-paddiefrog
> 
> (Warnings for this chapter: nothing major)

Toriel entered the house in silence, keeping a tight hold on the small skeleton in her arms. She freed a paw only to flick on the light and lock the door behind them. Afterwards, she found herself simply standing in place, not sure what to do and not wanting to let go of him. Sans seemed to mirror her feelings, keeping his grip on her and not saying a word either as he continued to lightly tremble. Eventually, something did demand both their attention though.

A soft warbling sound alerted Toriel to the sight of GB floating into the room. The blaster was hovering only a little off the ground, eyelights dim as he regarded them. His expression was happy as ever, but thoroughly exhausted, as though he was barely able to keep himself in the air. He let out another weak but joyful trill as he drifted over to them.

Toriel felt a pang of guilt, realizing how long she’d left poor GB alone in the house. His weakened state was worrying as well, as it seemed to go beyond simple tiredness. She reached out a paw to pull the blaster up close as he reached them, expression apologetic.

“Oh GB, I am so sorry… I took longer than I expected. Are you alright?” She asked, giving him a few pets across the top of his head.

Sans, reluctantly it seemed, loosened his grip enough to turn in Toriel’s arms to look at his blaster. She could see a bit of his expression now, and he looked about as worn down as she had ever seen him. It seemed he was hardly attempting to keep up any sort of façade now, eyelights hardly a flicker in his sockets and faint grin devoid of any sincerity. Just as with her, guilt crossed his features at the sight of GB, and he reached out to pull the blaster closer to him.

“ah damn… sorrry bud… you’ve been out ffor hours now, huh?” He croaked, patting the side of GB’s jaw. “you are probablly just about spent on magic at this point…”

GB let out a weary grumble in agreement, but then gave Sans an affectionate nuzzle, concern flaring in the weak lights of his eyes. His wielder’s dire condition was clearly not lost on him, even in his own poor state. Sans attempted to give the blaster a reassuring grin, but couldn’t keep it up for more than a few seconds.

“it’s alright buddy, ‘m okay… sorry for ditchin’ ya like that… wasn’t cooll of me. specially’ after all ya did to help me out todayy.” Sans murmured, pulling the blaster closer as much as he could in Toriel’s arms.

GB purred deeply, a clear sign that Sans’ apology had been accepted. Sans managed a tiny, brief smile again, expression softening as he let the blaster go.

“yer a reall pal GB… i’ll find somme way to make it up to ya.” He said genuinely, and Toriel could feel a bit of warmth flowing from his soul, tempering the fear and exhaustion for a bit.

Sans gave the blaster another pat, expression becoming a touch serious.

“but for now, back to the ppocket dimension with ya. you need to rest upp…”

GB’s jaws parted in a huge yawn before he nodded in weary agreement. He glanced at Toriel and gave her a friendly nuzzle. Toriel smiled back at the blaster and brought him close with a paw for a goodnight kiss on the forehead.

“Goodnight friend, thank you again for everything. Rest well, and I am sure I will see you again soon.” She said warmly, offering the strongest smile she could muster.

GB warbled in delight at her gesture, purring all the more. He then turned and glanced at Sans expectantly, lowering his muzzle and nudging Sans with the top of his skull. A faint spark of amusement flashed in Sans’ eyelights and the smallest of chuckles escaped him.

“no bud, noo kisses from me. ya know I don’t even have lipss…” He slurred, playfully swatting the blaster away.

GB grumbled with faint disappointment, but gave up in his efforts with a soft huff. He stayed still and closed his eye sockets as Sans placed a hand on top of him, the skeleton’s phalanges faintly sparking with pale blue magic.

“night pal, see ya later…” Sans said softly, and with a quick flash of light and a bit of momentary spacial distortion, GB disappeared.

Sans let his hand drop with a shaky sigh, breaths becoming labored and sweat dotting his skull from the strain that even the small act of magic had caused him. Toriel tightened her grip on him in concern and he turned around back into her embrace, resting his skull against her shoulder. He slowly regained his grip on her, curling his phalanges into the fabric of the front of her dress. She readjusted her hold on him a bit as well and gave him a gentle squeeze.

“Are you alright?” She asked, pressing her cheek to the side of his skull, against the soft material of his hoodie.

Sans responded with a hoarse, wheezy chuckle that made his whole body rattle softly.

“wha’ do ya think?” He rasped, the actual attempt at humor in his voice only somehow making the whole situation sadder to Toriel.

“Sorry, that was a foolish question…” She apologized, rubbing a circle into his back. “How about instead I ask… What can I do to help?”

Sans didn’t answer her for a while, a stark silence settling over the two. The only sound came from the ticking clock hanging in the kitchen and the crickets faintly beginning their nightly chorus outside. But then he tightened his grip on her and pressed his face hard into her shoulder, the shivering that had gripped him earlier returning in earnest.

“just…” He managed eventually, voice shaking a bit. “just don’t… don’t leave…please…”

Toriel felt her soul clench up at that, nearly enough to bring tears to her eyes. She knew that he likely would not be so honest and vulnerable with his answer had he not been so heavily intoxicated, but hearing those words from him still broke her heart. No matter the reason for it or how much it hurt though, she was glad that he was letting himself open up and be truthful with her. Just a day ago, she would have scarcely thought it possible that she’d get this far with him.

“Of course, my friend, I shall not leave you. I promise.” She replied firmly as she hugged him all the tighter, hoping it further communicated her intentions.

He didn’t lessen his grip at all, but Toriel could feel the waves of magic from his soul calm a bit. Though strangely, a heavy feeling of sadness began to flow from it too, and his response reflected it.

“you… can’t… promise that…” He murmured just above a whisper, voice thick with despair.

It was just like all that time ago when she’d hear him mutter such things to himself on the other side of the Ruins door. Things that seemed to make no sense and caused him clear pain. Now though, she knew that there was a reason for his strange words. And she’d likely know that reason in time, if his earlier restated commitment to revealing his past to her stayed true. So, she decided not to question his odd response for now.

“Well, I promise it regardless.” She said, keeping her voice even. “Come now.”

She didn’t expect a response from him and indeed he kept quiet as she began to make her way to the living room. She decided to set him on the large, boss-monster sized couch in the center of the room, grabbing up one of her paw-sewn throw blankets from another chair on the way.

“Sit here for now.” She said softly, leaning down to place him on the plush lavender cushions. “I am going to go to the kitchen to grab a few things and then we will figure out what to do from there.”

There was a fleeting moment where she thought he was going to argue and refuse to let go, but he then seemed to remember himself and reluctantly pulled away. He settled back into the couch, keeping his head low but giving a small nod and a soft affirmative sound in response.

Toriel slid her purse off her shoulder and set it on the arm of the couch before spreading out the blanket between her paws. She gave it a shake and then threw it over him, instincts kicking in and moving her to tuck it in a bit around him. Her massive handiwork positively drowned the small skeleton in fabric, which in a less morose situation she would have found amusing. Now though, it only seemed to highlight how small he likely felt, inside and out.

“I will only be a few minutes.” She assured him, grabbing the remote to the television and setting it on top of where she assumed his knee lied beneath the thick blanket. “You could watch something while you wait if you would like.”

“mm-hmm…” was all he uttered in response, pulling the blanket a bit closer and continuing to avoid her gaze.

She lightly patted his leg before turning and heading back towards the kitchen. She really hated to step away after what had just happened, even just for a few minutes. But she knew her friend needed to get stabilized before anything else. She had suspicions that he hadn’t really eaten a thing all day, and that was contributing to his fatigue just as much as the exhaustion was. On top of that, he needed to get some water into his system after drinking so much alcohol. She hoped that getting his magic levels more balanced would help him sleep better.

With that in mind, she set to work as quickly as she could once she stepped into the kitchen. She prepared them both plates of toast, thinking back to what she found she could stomach after a heavy night of drinking. She added a few dabs of ketchup on top of Sans’ and a couple of snails to top her own. Just for a bit of a treat, she also cut half a slice of leftover butterscotch cinnamon pie to put on her own plate. It was enough to share if Sans felt up to having some, but not too much that she couldn’t eat it all herself too. She then filled up a large water bottle with ice water for her friend and settled with a small glass for herself. Satisfied with her work, she gathered everything up and returned to the living room.

It looked to her that Sans hadn’t moved at all since she left. The remote remained sitting in his lap in the exact place she had set it and he was still in the same position with his head hanging low. For a moment, she felt like she was experiencing their usual nighttime ritual, where she’d discover him somewhere in the house looking exhausted and consumed by his inner struggles after failing to get any sleep herself. This time though, she knew he would not pull his usual act when she approached. He had been slowly giving up on that, at least in regards to her, the longer he had talked with her. That fact was bittersweet, leaving her soul feeling deeply relieved and deeply pained all at once.

She made her way over to him and sat down beside him as she set the food and drinks in her arms on the table directly in front of them. She pulled part of the blanket over her own lap before turning to face him.

“How are you doing, my friend?” She asked, putting a paw on his shoulder.

Sans let out a soft “heh” and shook his head. The remote slid off his lap to the floor as he pressed closer and leaned against her side. Only then did he finally will himself to look up at her, a small, empty smile spreading across his face.

“kinda feel like garbaage… in a lota’ ways…” he admitted, voice still sounding rather hoarse.

Toriel hummed thoughtfully in response, reaching over to pick up his plate and water bottle.

“Try to drink some water, it should help a little, and hopefully keep you from getting too hung over tomorrow.” She advised, pushing the mentioned bottle into his hand until he took it. “I made you some toast as well. I know you haven’t eaten much today… if at all. You should try to have at least a little. It will help replenish your magic levels, and that would definitely be good for you right now…”

Sans blinked at her request as she set the plate of toast in his lap. He did press the nozzle of the bottle against his teeth and take a few small sips, but he seemed reluctant to touch the offered food. Toriel noticed a touch of discomfort in his expression as he looked at it and she realized what the problem might be.

“Are you… feeling sick?” She asked, giving his arm a gentle rub. She shot a quick, anticipatory glance at the waste basket a few feet away from them. Sans grimaced slightly before pushing the plate back towards her and nodding.

“y-yah maybe a lil… probly’ shouldn’t risk it…” He croaked, and Toriel felt a faint shudder run through him.

Toriel worried her lip with her fangs, but ultimately decided he was probably right and set the plate back on the table. Perhaps he could have it later if he felt up to it. As for her though, she felt positively famished and picked up her own plate before giving him a sympathetic glance.

“You might want to look away for a second then.” She said, a touch sheepishly. “I know most people do not find snails all that appetizing... especially in your condition”

Sans did not argue, facing away and taking another small sip from his water bottle. Toriel would have usually liked to eat with a bit more dignity, but not wanting upset Sans’ condition, she ate the whole piece of toast in a single bite. It took a bit to chew, but she managed it, savoring the flavor of the snails as she did. Absolutely delectable, even when refrigerated rather than fresh. She would never understand why so many found her odd for enjoying them. She decided to save the pie for now, in case Sans felt well enough to eat some after a while. She took a sip from her glass to wash it down, glancing at Sans as she did so.

He returned her gaze reluctantly, still looking rather queasy. He even set his water bottle down and pushed it away a bit with an uneasy look. That was enough to drive Toriel to take some… precautionary measures.

“Let me go grab something really quick…” She said, standing slowly to ensure he didn’t fall over without her support.

He blinked in minor confusion but said nothing in retaliation, watching after her as she crossed the room and returned with the waste basket from the corner in her paw. She set it down in front of the couch, near enough that it was reachable if needed. She gave him an apologetic grin as she did so, noting the flat look he shot her way when he realized what she was doing.

“Just in case… you know?” She said, rubbing her paws together. “There is no shame if you need it… I have been there myself ehehe…”

Sans glanced down at it uncomfortably but then seemed to accept the truth of her words with a weary sigh. With that, Toriel settled back on the couch beside him, letting him snuggle up against her side once more. As she pulled him close and began idly running a paw up and down his back, she sincerely hoped she wouldn’t have any reason to get up again. This sentiment was only furthered as she pulled the thick throw blanket snugly around the two of them, the comfort of it all wanting to send her straight to sleep after such a long day. Stars, it felt so much later than it really was… But she reminded herself that she very well may not be getting any sleep tonight as she looked back at the skeleton’s haunted expression.

“So my friend…” She said softly, drawing his attention back to her. “Do you want to try to sleep? I will be right here with you if you do…”

Sans hesitated from responding, looking uncertain as his eyelights dimmed further.

“i… well… I do tori. trust me, i want more than anything to jusst… pass the helll out r’now… but…” he paused, a flash of guilt and perhaps even a little embarrassment shining in his eyes.

“m’ not... safe to be around when i’m having nightmaress..” he slurred out finally, avoiding her gaze. “when they are really bad… sometimes i wake upp not knowin’ up from down… where i amm… _when i am…._ ”

She felt him tense up as he said that in particular. It was another odd statement she didn’t understand, but she continued listening, taking note of it for later.

“I tenda’… lash out at anyone who’s there. i jusst can’t figure out whas’ real for a while… its like my body wakes upp but my mindd doesn’t catch up right away… and even when it doess… it takes me a while befor’ I can feel like m’self again... before i can trusst that i’m really here y’know?”

He trailed off after the question and kept his gaze away from her, but Toriel could feel him tighten his grip on her dress. She felt her soul ache in sympathy as she tried to imagine what her friend’s tormented mind put him through during most nights. She usually only saw the aftermath of these situations. Hearing the specifics of what he endured was devastating to say the least. She reached out and gently cupped his cheekbone in her paw, encouraging him to look back at her. He seemed somewhat surprised by the touch and obliged, looking rather nervous as he did so.

“Oh Sans… is this why you lock your door at night? All this time you have been just... dealing with it all on your own?” She asked, emotion making her voice shake a bit.

Sans’ eye sockets drooped, and his eyelights dulled to the point that they nearly went out entirely. The guilt she felt from him overpowered everything else as he nodded.

“i… i… hurt pap once…” He admitted with a small shudder. “it was pretty badd… he doesnn’t remember it but… i won’t risk it happen’n again… so i jus’ handle it m’self… lay in bed until it all passess and then get up and wanderr around so i won’ go back to sleep… flawless plann amiright?”

A bit of strained sarcasm crept into his voice as he asked the last part, and he met her eyes with a pained false grin.

“sorry t… this was stupidd of me… i shouldna’ agreed to it. i can’t put you in danger like thaat…” He stammered, beginning to pull away a bit despite how much he clearly did not want to.

Toriel wasted little time in getting to her knees and locking her eyes with his. She made her voice firm as she spoke again.

“No Sans, listen to me, I will be _fine._ ” She assured, impressed with how much strength she had managed to work into her voice. “I understand your fears my friend, but I will not allow you to suffer through this alone anymore. You need help. Even if you do lash out at me, you know your attacks would hardly damage me. I have handled such things before, even a bit earlier today remember? I am more than capable of defending myself if it comes to that.”

She took a moment to make sure she did not let herself get too upset with him. She was well aware that her own exhaustion was probably shortening her temper, and letting that get out of hand would be the worst thing for the situation right now. She lowered her voice to a softer tone.

“I made a promise to you, my friend, and I fully intend to keep it. Now please, do not run from this anymore. I know you do not want to be alone right now. You said so yourself did you not?”

Her question hung in the air for a bit as Sans remained stiff and unmoving. After a moment though the alcohol seemed to get to him again and he swayed a bit, prompting Toriel to reach out and hold him upright. The momentary loss in composure seemed to snap him out of his panicked flight response and he appeared to deflate before her. Wordlessly, he shuffled back over into her waiting arms, huddling into her embrace as she closed it around him. Toriel sat back a bit, bringing him with her and returning to rubbing slow circles into his backbone. They sat like that for a while, and both let their troubled emotions settle within their souls.

“m’ sorry…” he rasped after a minute or so, voice barely audible. “mm’ sorry i keep… actin’ up… i…” The weariest of chuckles escaped him. “i _really_ don’t know howta’ deal with any of this, huh?”

“Do not worry about it.” Toriel murmured in response. “You are exhausted, terribly drunk, and have been reliving in some way the horrible things that have happened to you… No is one going to be level-headed and agreeable dealing with all that.”

Saying it all aloud made the true weight of the situation sink in through the haze of her own weariness. Guilt at her rather reactive behavior gripped her soul and she shut her eyes.

“And… I really should be considering that more… I apologize if I have been short with you, my friend. After all, I am the one who pushed you into this and I keep making a mess of things.”

She felt Sans shake his head then pulled away from her a bit to speak more clearly.

“…nah. don’t think like that. s’not your fault… like yah, this sucks and alll… but… i wasn’t lyinn’ before. i really do wantcha’ to know, tori… and well, uh… i’m glad ya care so much. i mus’ not make that eassy for ya, heh.”

Her soul felt warm within her at his words and as much as she didn’t like to hear his self-deprecation, she decided to reply with a bit of humor rather than worry. It had been far too long since either of them had made a pun and the mood could use a little lightening after all that.

“Nonsense.” She practically purred, meeting his eyelights again. “You are the most _pun_ -derful friend a monster could ever hope to have. A true _bone_ -a-fied sweetheart.”

Sans’ fatigued expression softened at that, his grin growing far more believable. Though the color returning to his face made it clear her words had also left him quite flustered. He wheezed out a weak bout of laughter that devolved into a few coughs.

“aw geezz… come on, thass not fair.” He croaked once he’d recovered. “how’m i supposed to make a good comeback r’now?”

He seemed to ponder it, narrowing his eyes and looking away for a second. Glancing at the dessert on her plate seemed to give him the inspiration he needed. He then turned back at her and poked her arm with a phalange as he spoke.

“you…” he began abruptly, swaying a bit. “are the… apple of my _pie_.”

The immediate regret at the clumsiness of the joke and the implication of it was clear in his expression the moment it left him, blush spreading over his face all the more.

“uh-, I mean- d-damn it, that doessn’ make any...” He stammered, clearly trying to figure out a way to save it, but too worn out to really do so.

Despite the joke’s abject lack of focus, Toriel succumbed to a fit of laughter anyway. Her own weariness kept it from devolving into its usual raucousness, but it was noisy and joyful all the same. It felt good to laugh like that again, it had been far too long in her eyes.

Sans looked at her with defeated amusement, cheekbones still quite blue.

“alright.. alrighht.. geez... i know it was badd t, do you gotta rub it in?” He asked, grin widening a little as he did so.

Toriel covered her mouth with a paw, snorting as she tried to contain herself.

“I am sorry, Sans.” She managed between giggles. “Forgive me, I just was not expecting you to-“

She was cut off as her words got swallowed up in another bout of laughter. Sans gave a soft, hoarse chuckle in response, expression looking suddenly rather warm as he regarded her.

“ah iss’ ok. i shoulda expected it…” He said, tone carrying a soft fondness to it beneath the slurring. “even when my jokes ssuck…you’ll always be the best audience i’ve ever hadd.”

Those words and their surprising affectionate nature took Toriel off guard and she felt her heart skip a beat for a moment. Now it was her turn to feel flustered it seemed. She could feel her face heating up under her fur, and hoped desperately that the tips of her ears weren’t turning red. Her laughter quickly died off, and she kept her paw over her mouth, unable to keep from blinking at him in surprise. Her mind raced to find something to stay back, but she found herself oddly speechless.

Unlike before, he didn’t appear all that embarrassed by his honest words of endearment. It seemed that the alcohol and his own exhaustion had overwhelmed him once more, withering any realization he may have had regarding them. His eye sockets struggled to stay open and he wrapped a hand around his middle with a soft groan. He leaned into her arms again and she broke herself out of her minor shock to return the embrace.

Acting on a whim, she pulled him up into her lap and held him close. The faint magic response she felt from his soul only seemed to further the warmth enveloping her own. She reveled in just how… normal and _right_ it felt. She rested her chin on the top of his hooded skull as she tried to parse the sudden thoughts fluttering through her mind.

There was no question that she and Sans had been dancing around the nature of their relationship for a quite a while. Nothing was ever explicitly said, but there were feelings there and they were clearly mutual on some level. Times like these convinced her of that. She knew that the idea was not lost on their friends or family either. She’d heard what they whispered to each other and seen the looks that they shot her way. Frisk tended to be especially non-subtle about this behavior, sometimes openly goading her with questions regarding Toriel’s feelings towards the skeleton. Alphys had even declared to her once that Toriel had “ruined her ship” a statement that she still didn’t quite get, but understood the basic implication behind.

She didn’t know how much of the same treatment Sans had had to deal with, but she was sure he wasn’t fortunate enough to escape it either. Not that she held any true ire towards her loved ones for their prodding, it was just so… difficult. It was so difficult to even consider the idea that she may in fact be feeling… _that_ again for another monster. She had convinced herself she would never let it happen, for how could it when she had so thoroughly resigned herself to living out the rest of her years in exile, dedicated completely to her mission? And it wasn’t only that… What happened with Asgore… even now, it still hurt. It still left her confused, enraged and sick to her soul.

The only relationship she’d ever been in had ended in perhaps in the worst possible way. Even those who lost their beloveds to death could at least look back at their memories together with warmth and find comfort. There are no words for the pain brought forth by watching the one you love become so consumed by both hatred and cowardice, that they become unrecognizable to you. Every happy memory you shared from then on is twisted to become something you desperately regret and wish to forget. You feel used and betrayed and broken in ways you can scarcely understand.

She suppressed a shudder, not wanting to disturb the skeleton in her arms. She turned her thoughts away from Asgore as much as she could and glanced down at Sans wearily. He still had not fallen asleep, but she could tell he was losing the fight at this point. If they stayed like this much longer, he’d surely be out before long. She felt her breath catch in her throat as he sleepily nuzzled closer, pressing his face against her neck. Her soul buzzed with emotion again and she could only pray he didn’t pick up on it due to their close proximity. She swallowed hard and took a deep breath to steady herself.

Even if she was indeed feeling… _that_ , she knew that part of her soul was heavily guarded, afraid of getting hurt like it had before. Surely, she couldn’t commit herself to a relationship like that again… surely, she was too reserved now, too uncertain, too afraid… She had lost so much over the course of her life, and it all had left its mark on her soul. And what of him? Ever tormented by his past and struggling as he was? Would he even be able to mentally commit to something like a relationship? They were both such… broken monsters. In different but comparable ways. That would inevitably cause some problems down the line. The idea of them together in that way was just not realistic with everything considered…and yet…

And yet… she just could not deny that she’d hadn’t been this happy in a long, long time. He’d been the one to bring happiness and laughter back to her life when she had been sure it was lost to her forever. If he hadn’t knocked on her door back then and entered her life… she would not be the monster she was now. Every day she spent with him, he found some new way to banish her loneliness and make her happy. Even now… No… _Especially_ now that she was finding out the true reasons for his ever-lingering despair and forging more and more trust between them, _that_ feeling within her was growing ever stronger. And maybe it was because his soul was so close to her own at the moment, but something told her that it was very much the same for him. Perhaps… just perhaps, she could at least consider-

Her thoughts were abruptly halted as the sudden sound of musical ringing filled the air. She recognized the sound and turned her head to look where she knew it was coming from. Sure enough, her purse, where’d she had stored both their phones, was vibrating with each melodic tone. Papyrus was calling again, once again catching them at a rather… inopportune moment. She narrowed her eyes a bit in mild annoyance. She was definitely noticing a trend here. But there wasn’t a soul alive that could stay mad at Papyrus for long. She shifted to reach over and began digging the phone out of the purse, while Sans stirred from his near-dozing with a low grumble.

She plucked the phone out and sure enough, the humorous picture of Papyrus from before was staring back at her. She looked down at Sans sympathetically.

“It is Papyrus calling again.” She said softly as he shifted back a bit to meet her gaze. “Would you like me to take it?”

Sans rubbed at his eye sockets with a hand and shook his head.

“nah, i can handl’ it…” He croaked, clearing his metaphorical throat. “i can’t drop out on himm like before… worried as he is.”

Toriel wanted to question if it was really a good idea for Sans to answer the phone drunk and nearly keeling over with exhaustion, but it would have taken too long. So, a touch reluctantly, she handed the phone over to him. He took it, turning around but still remaining in her lap. He hovered a phalange over the answer button as he worked to compose himself. It looked as though it were physically painful for him, but he forced a smile as best he could before giving the screen a tap.

“hey bro.” He answered, in a jarringly relaxed tone.

To hear that feigned evenness in his voice again made Toriel realize just how fake it really was. She had grown used to his more genuine side over the day’s events and hearing him switch back into his old manner of speaking was disconcerting to say the least. To Papyrus though, it was quite normal, as evident by his cheerful response to his brother’s greeting.

“BROTHER! THANK GOODNESS YOU PICKED UP THIS TIME!” The younger skeleton exclaimed joyfully.

He quickly switched his tone to become more serious though, as serious as Papyrus could manage at least.

“IT WAS QUITE INCONSIDERATE OF YOU TO MAKE MS.TORIEL HANDLE IT FOR YOU BEFORE! I HOPE YOU HAVE LEARNED YOUR LESSON!”

Sans forced a chuckle that was almost believable, swaying a bit and catching himself before leaning back against Toriel’s stomach. She carefully wrapped her arms around his middle in turn, ensuring his inebriated state didn’t send him to the floor. He shot her a quick, thankful glance before looking back down towards the phone.

“yah sorry bro, that was pretty uncooll of me.” He replied, a bit stiffly. “she told me evr’thing though… glad to hear you’re havin’ a good time.”

Toriel could tell he was trying pretty hard to keep his slurring under control. Perhaps if he wasn’t so tired he’d be more successful, but as it was, his performance was certainly not his best. Indeed, it seemed it was not enough to fool the ever-vigilant Papyrus.

“SANS, ARE YOU DRUNK?” Papyrus asked in a suspicious tone.

Sans flinched a bit and his strained grin turned a bit sheepish, he’d been caught.

“uh… maybe a liittle?”

“UGH! SANS!! I LEAVE FOR ONE DAY AND YOU SPEND IT IN THAT GREASY NIGHTMARE OF A BAR, DRINKING?” Papyrus scolded him, and Toriel could picture the skeleton’s disappointed expression.

Sans shrugged, even though Papyrus would not be able to see it.

“it wass a party bro.” He replied, still with his light-hearted tone. “the dogi were celebrating the fact they are gonna have pupss, and invited mee out.”.

Toriel frowned a bit at that, Sans’ casual misleading of his brother not sitting well with her. She conceded that it wasn’t a total lie though and explaining the truth of it all would not be wise at this point. Still, his ability to lie with a straight face was concerningly impressive.

“PUPS?! THE DOGI ARE HAVING PUPPIES?!” Papyrus shouted in excitement. “OH THAT’S FANTASTIC NEWS! WOWIE!! I CAN’T WAIT TO MEET THEM! I MUST REMEMBER TO CONGRATULATE DOGAMY AND DOGA-“

The younger skeleton cut himself off and then loudly cleared his throat, or at least imitated the sound. When he spoke again it was in a far more collected manner.

“NOW BROTHER, AS GREAT AS THAT IS TO HEAR I AM STILL QUITE CROSS WITH YOU. YOU CLEARLY HAVE NOT SHOWN PROPER RESTRAINT IN YOUR ALCOHOL CONSUMPTION. I KNOW HOW YOU GET WHEN YOU ARE DRUNK. YOU BETTER NOT CAUSE MS. TORIEL ANY TROUBLE! AND GOODNESS SANS, YOU’RE GOING TO BE MISERABLE TOMORROW! HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN HOW BAD YOUR HANGOVERS GET?”

Sans gave another low chuckle, but it sounded far wearier than before.

“yah yahh… I know pap, i’ll be fine. dun’ worry about it.” He replied, in the same rehearsed lines Toriel had heard countless times herself.

Papyrus let out a long sigh, worry and exasperation clear in his voice.

“WHY DO YOU ALWAYS INSIST ON NEVER TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF?” He asked plaintively, and his tone suggested he knew he wouldn’t get a straight answer.

Toriel could see Sans’ grip on the phone tighten and his false smile faltered a bit. He took a while to reply, and when he did, he used his standard tactic for situations like this. Redirect with jokes.

“ah ya know me bro, I jusst don’t got the _guts_ for it.” He quipped.

Papyrus groaned loudly, and Toriel could hear the sound of the skeleton’s teeth grinding as he set his jaw.

“THAT WAS IMPRESSIVELY TERRIBLE SANS, EVEN FOR YOU.” He grumbled in a flat tone.

Sans seemed to relax a bit at his brother’s response, false smile returning to a convincing state.

“heh, what caan i say… i’m off my game t’night… yer not the first to mention itt…” He replied, rubbing his forehead as another wave of exhaustion appeared to wash over him.

Sans considered something for a few moments before continuing in a less sarcastic tone.

“listeen bro, you really don’t gotta worry okayy? i know i’m messedd up r’now, but i’m in good hands… er paws.” He began again, lightly patting one of Toriel’s paws as he mentioned her.

Toriel blinked at that, not sure how to react to being brought into this conversation. She decided to remain silent, tilting her head a bit as she listened further.

“tori made sure to comme and get me beforee I went too crazy with the drinkss alright? and you know her, even if i tolld her she didn’ have to a million tiimes, there’s no way she’ll let me sufferr through hangover hell tomorrow alone y’know?”

He trailed off, curling the phalanges of his free hand around her arm. Toriel understood the gesture, accepting it with a small smile. Papyrus seemed to be placated by Sans’ response.

“TRUE, IT IS VERY GOOD TO HEAR MS. TORIEL IS KEEPING AN EYE ON YOU.” Papyrus responded, relief evident in his voice. “I DEFINITELY HAVE NO IDEA WHERE’D SHE’D GET THE IDEA TO DO SUCH A THING, BUT IT IS VERY COOL AND GREAT OF HER NONETHELESS!”

Toriel had to bite her lip to keep any potential laughter at his statement at bay. Sans gave an open chuckle, though it was lost to a cough after a few seconds. He quickly replied before that could prompt Papyrus to return to fretting over him.

“enough bout’ me pap… tell me how you guys are doin’. how wer the s’mores? you guys get a good hotell? those lovebirds been smoochin it up on the beach?” Sans rattled off a handful of questions, clearly hoping Papyrus would latch on to one and focus on it.

The tactic seemed to work, as the younger skeleton’s usual enthusiasm returned in earnest. He was off on one of his excited rambles once more.

“THE S’MORES WERE EXCELLENT!” He exclaimed. “I ENDED UP MAKING ENOUGH FOR ALL THE NICE PEOPLE WE MET AT THE BEACH, AND EVEN THE NOT SO NICE PEOPLE! I ALSO I HAD TO MAKE UNDYNE’S FOR HER SINCE SHE KEPT BURNING THEM.”

He said the last part a touch quieter, as if trying to ensure the mentioned fish monster did not hear him.

“AS FOR OUR HOTEL, IT IS RATHER COZY INDEED! MY COT IS PLUSH AND COMFORTABLE, PERFECT FOR A FULL 2 HOURS OF SLEEP! I INSISTED THAT UNDYNE AND ALPHYS SHARE THE BIG BED. AND YES, THEY DID KISS… A LOT. ALPHYS FACE TURNED SO RED THAT I FEARED SHE HAD BEEN “SUN-BURNED!” OH! AND THERE IS A POOL WITH A WATERSLIDE! A SLIDE FULL OF WATER! HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF SOMETHING LIKE THAT BROTHER? IT IS GREAT FUN!”

“mmhmm… soundss great pap…really cool.” Sans drawled out hoarsely in response, struggling to keep his eye sockets open.

Toriel frowned down at him in sympathy. Clearly his exhaustion was winning the battle, despite his best efforts to fight it. Thankfully Papyrus noticed too, voice mellowing out in concern as he spoke again.

“HMM… BROTHER YOU DON’T SOUND TOO GOOD… ARE YOU SURE YOU ARE OKAY?”

Sans tensed and put his all into evening out his voice again. But his strength was just not there at this point. He could not keep the strain out of his voice no matter how hard he tried.

“yah t-totally bro, jusst a lil buzzed and pretty _bone_ -tired, heh. m’ fine”

Papyrus didn’t reply for a few moments, but when he did, he used his more serious tone again.

“VERY WELL SANS, BUT! I HAVE DECIDED TO END THIS CONVERSATION FOR TONIGHT. I CANNOT BELIEVE I AM SAYING THIS BUT, I INSIST YOU GO GET SOME SLEEP BROTHER! DESPITE WHAT YOU HAVE SAID, I AM NOT CONVINCED YOU ARE WELL AT THE MOMENT. SLEEP OFF THE DRINKS AND REFLECT ON YOUR ACTIONS CAREFULLY! I WILL CALL AGAIN SOMETIME TOMORROW.”

Sans set his jaw as if he were preparing to argue or defend himself, but in the end just couldn’t will himself to do it. He sighed quietly and brought the phone closer.

“alright bro, i’ll hit the sack for tonigh’. sorry bout’ all this. hope you guys have funn tomorrow. say hi to al and undiess for me.” He rasped, still putting what little laid back tone he could muster into his words.

Papyrus grumbled at his brother’s crass nicknames for his friends, but softened his voice quickly after.

“I WILL BE SURE TO…” He affirmed in a gentle tone. “GOODNIGHT SANS, I LOVE YOU. AND I HOPE YOU FEEL BETTER SOON…”

Sans’ false grin softened at the edges, a genuine fondness shimmering in the pale light of his eyes before he eased his sockets shut.

“yah… love ya too paps… sleeep good, k? talk to ya later bro.”

Sans was about to hit the button to end the call, when Papyrus spoke up again quite suddenly.

“OH, AND GOODNIGHT TO YOU TOO MS. TORIEL~.” He said, with a bit of a suspect tone.

“Goodnight Papyrus.” Toriel replied before she could think about what she was doing.

Realization set in immediately and she clamped a paw over her mouth with a squeak, eyes wide. Sans went totally stiff as well. Papyrus responded with a noisy cackle of laughter, sounding rather triumphant.

“NYEH HEH HEH HEH! I KNEW IT! WOWIE! I WIN, UNDYNE!! OKAY, BYE FOR NOW!”

There were a few more seconds of Papyrus’ clipped laughter before the call ended with a soft musical tone. Both of them sat in stunned silence after that, staring down at the phone with bewildered expressions. Toriel was the first to speak again, lowering her paw from her mouth.

“H-how… How did he know that I was…?” She stammered, feeling her face heat up beneath her fur.

Sans tugged down on his hood a bit, likely to hide the blue color covering his own face again.

“no damn clue…” He grumbled. “sometimess i swear that the integrity that wass put into his soul made him a daamn psychic… but taking betss for something like that? thas’ not cool bro.”

Toriel, despite her own embarrassment, managed a quiet laugh at that. She gave him a pat on the arm, letting it be a bit of a comforting gesture.

“Oh never mind it.” She soothed, carefully taking the phone from his hand and returning it to the purse behind her. “They are only teasing, my friend.”

Sans dropped his hands back down with a soft huff of irritation, but finally relaxed back against her again.

“yah yah… whateverr.” He mumbled before his raspy voice trailed off into another quiet groan.

Toriel’s eyes shimmered with concern, the awkwardness of the moment before forgotten. She leant over him and sought his gaze, gently adjusting her grip on him to get his attention. He blinked in momentary surprise, but looked up at her, those utterly exhausted eyelights of his seeming to be little more than hazy flickers at this point.

“Sans…” She murmured. “I… I must agree with your brother and insist you try to sleep now.”

The skeleton’s expression tightened, the full level of his fatigue evident on his face. There was a spark of fear there too, the clear reason Sans was fighting so hard to stay awake. It hurt her terribly to see, but she couldn’t let it make her back down from this. Though Sans’ reply tested her resolve even further.

“tori…i…” He ducked his head and looked away from her, heaving out a sigh. “i jusst… don’t know if i can, alright? its… its going to badd. real bad. and…”

He seemed to sink lower, kneading the fabric of her sleeve between his phalanges. She could feel him beginning to shiver, now lacking any strength to repress it.

“i… i don’t wan’ you to see me liike that…”

His words brought another stab of pain to her soul and she felt a lump forming in her throat. Her own weary state was making it much harder to keep her emotions at bay. She shifted her arms around him in a more realized hug, pressing her cheek against the side of his skull.

“I understand, my friend.” She replied softly, once she trusted her voice again. “But you must know I would never think less of you for something like this. It is not your fault. Your wellbeing is what matters most here, and right now you need to rest.”

When Sans offered no words in return, she kept on talking, paying attention to the weak pulses of magic emanating from his soul.

“I promise, I shall stay with you no matter what happens. If you do have nightmares, I will be here to help you. I know a thing or two about dealing with them myself.”

He still did not respond, but his shivering did relent a bit. After a moment, she felt him shift in her arms and turn back around to return the hug properly. He was so tired at this point that his light grip on her hardly registered as he huddled against her once more. It seemed to Toriel that any fight remaining in him melted away then, her words being the final reassurance that he needed.

A melancholy smile appeared on her face as she grabbed a pillow from beside her and set it against the arm of the couch. She leaned back a bit into it, letting Sans adjust as he wished before pulling the blanket over them once more. Sans settled for pillowing his skull on her shoulder, curled so that his face was hidden against her neck. He pulled in his limbs close to himself but continued to cling to her dress weakly with one hand, even if there was practically no strength behind it. Toriel rubbed at his back in a gentle, rhythmic motion.

“Just try to relax, think of pleasant things, things that bring you peace.” Toriel soothed, casting her gaze out the window across the room. “Like the stars on a clear night, the colors of a brilliant sunrise or sunset, the feeling of raindrops falling down on you…”

She paused a moment, considering her next words before she let them leave her.

“All of us here that love you…”

Sans briefly tensed up and she thought he was going to say something. But whatever he potentially intended to say was quickly lost as his exhaustion finally claimed him. He stilled and his breaths evened out, eventually giving way to quiet snoring. His soul’s magic calmed as well, the fear she had previously detected disappearing for now. In just a few moments, he had fallen fast asleep.

A shaky sigh of relief left her once she was sure he was out. She thanked the stars he could fall asleep so quickly, unlike her who could very well lie awake for hours if not the whole night before any sleep came. She listened to his soft snores in silence as she found herself alone with her thoughts. It was a strange feeling after everything that had happened that day, to return to something like her nightly musing with so much new weight on her soul. All of his words began flowing back to her, all of the horrors he had relayed flashing through her mind in disjointed fragments.

Gaster, experiments, Asgore, the human souls, human traits, karmic retribution, gaster blasters, shattered souls across space and time… prototypes and final weapons.

Toriel had to remind herself to breathe as she went over it all, the sheer magnitude of it shaking her to her core. And they had only just scratched the surface, her friend’s earlier devastating reaction to her words stood as testament to that. What would he tell her next? Would it all be this horrible? This shocking? She could only guess based off her current knowledge, and her imagination painted a bleak and haunting picture indeed.

A subtle movement from Sans brought her attention back to him, a small spark of worry flaring up in her soul. Surely he wasn’t having a nightmare already? Thankfully he went still again and Toriel relaxed, running a paw down the length of his back again.

The action brought back the memory of her own heedless statement, the one that had sent him into a despair worthy of drowning in alcohol over.

_It is not as though I am just suddenly going to forget everything you have told me, right?_

Even now, her mind scrambled to try and find what is was about it that had hurt him so badly. She had never seen him look so broken as he had when she had said those dreaded words. He had assured her they’d get to the part of his story that explained his behavior eventually, but that didn’t stop her from fretting over it regardless. After all, there was no telling if he’d stay true to that vow once he sobered up. For now, she only had her own theories to go off of.

The only sense she could make of it was that, for some reason, he believed she would forget everything he’d told her. This was backed up by how determined he had seemed to get through the whole of his story in one day, perhaps fearing she would forget parts in between. It didn’t seem to be a belief born out of a negative outlook towards her ability to retain what she’d heard. Indeed, most people would find something as shocking of all this near impossible to forget. No, Sans’ fears seemed directed towards something else… something beyond either of their control.

Despite still not coming up with any solid explanations, an idea did spring to her mind then. Slowly and ever-so carefully as to not disturb her friend, she reached into her purse beside her and dug out her diary and a snail patterned pencil. Still making sure he was secure in her arms, she propped open the notepad with one paw and began writing with the other. If he truly had some reason to fear she would forget, then she would take the steps she could to keep that from happening.

Instead of filling the page with puns or accounts of the day’s events as she usually would, she covered it margin to margin in notes on her friend’s account of his past so far. She wrote down every detail she could think of, drawing arrows to show the flow of events and even small, albeit very mediocre, drawings where she found them useful. Now, even if she somehow did forget everything, it was all here in her diary for her to look over again. The worn nature of the notebook showed how often she thumbed through it, there was no way she’d miss this sudden incredibly word dense page.

As a final measure, she wrote a single phrase with larger strokes in a spot at the top of the page she’d left intentionally blank.

_“Do Not Forget”_

She took out her red marker and circled the phrase a few times, only furthering its eye-catching nature. She laid her pencil and red marker against the spiral spine on that page as well. Satisfied, she gently closed the diary and put it back in her purse, returning her focus to the skeleton in her arms.

He was still sleeping soundly, giving no signs of any dark dreams disturbing his slumber. It gave her a faint glimmer of hope that he may sleep peacefully through the night after all. Her jaws parted in a large yawn, a sign of her own exhaustion weighing down on her. She had intended to stay awake as long as she could to watch over him, but that was proving more and more difficult by the moment.

She usually struggled to sleep because of the endless worrying night allowed, with no distractions to keep her mind occupied. Now though, the sound of Sans’ snoring was making it harder and harder to keep her eyes open. She hadn’t slept so close to another monster in nearly a century… letting the sound of the other’s breathing soothe her as well as any lullaby. Feeling the gentle pulses of magic from the other’s nearby soul comfortingly mix with her own...

She shook herself out of those thoughts, the memories that had been associated with them making her feel vaguely ill. Her soul felt as though it tightened within her at the sudden harsh mix of emotions. No, she did not want to think about Asgore or any of those times before. That part of her life now felt as though it existed in a dark haze within her mind. Remembering how happy she’d been then, before the incident and then the years and years of isolation, was just too painful. She tightened her grip on Sans, closing her eyes as she tried to banish it all back to the shadowy corners of her mind.

She had to question though, why did she keep thinking about Asgore when thinking about Sans? Her soul told her she knew the reason, but she couldn’t face it, not now. It was too much to handle on top of everything else. Besides, focusing on _that_ feeling right now was selfish. Her friend was suffering and needed her help, that was what was important. If he weren’t in such a harrowing situation at the moment, none of this would be happening. She couldn’t lose sight of that.

Despite all her internal warring with herself, her soul still warmed inside her at the comforting closeness between them. That warmth was what let her own weariness finally overcome her and send her drifting off to sleep as well. She unknowingly rested her head against his hooded skull as she did, eyes falling shut. Her last thought before succumbing completely was a silent prayer that Sans would be able to rest peacefully as long as he needed.

But if she had picked up on anything during her friend’s story, it was that Sans had led a terribly unfair life. The universe clearly had little will to show him much kindness, and it seemed that that was to remain true no matter her wishes. It was as though her friend’s past was looming over them like some dark shadowy beast, casually waiting to strike at its own leisure.

And strike it did, for some time later, deep into the dead of night, Toriel was awoken by a chilling, muffled scream.

 

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((BEAUTIFUL fanart for [the spanish version](https://www.wattpad.com/630247956-ut-todas-estas-piezas-rotas-soriel-by-paddiefrog) of this chapter by Gabriella_Lu/Lau.))


	7. Long Night (Part 2)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back at it again with that one super long angsty Soriel fic. I apologize in advance for this one... ;w;
> 
> Warnings for this chapter:  
> (Emetophobes beware, Mentions of child abuse, Minor Sexual-ish reference, Minor Suicidal themes.)
> 
> Spanish version of this chapter translated by the wonderful Gabriella_Lu/Lau can be found here!:   
> https://www.wattpad.com/633256256-ut-todas-estas-piezas-rotas-soriel-by-paddiefrog

Toriel was wrenched out of her slumber immediately as the sound of the scream met her ears. It wasn’t particularly loud, as it was rather muffled by something, but years of being a mother as well as just the worrisome monster she was left her ever-alert to such things. She hurriedly sat up and looked around, trying to clear away the fog of sleep from her mind and take in the situation. The moment her eyes landed on Sans she felt everything from earlier come rushing back.

He had torn himself away from her at some point and had ended up curled up on the couch at her feet, still tangled in the blanket. He was writhing and twitching beneath it, body shaking with noisy rattles as he choked out muffled, intelligible words of distress. Worst of all though was the unmistakable glow of his flashing blue and yellow eyelight seeping up through the thick fabric of the blanket, casting everything around it in an eerie luster. For him to believe he was in enough danger to warrant the use of his most powerful magic…

Toriel snapped to full attention, her drowsiness forgotten in an instant. She slid off the couch to sit on her knees beside it, her paws hovering hesitantly over Sans’ quaking form as her mind raced to determine the best way of handling this. He was clearly still asleep, still in the grip of whatever horror his mind was subjecting him to. His earlier warning came back to her in a flash, making her grit her teeth. Waking him now would likely lead to him lashing out at her in a panic, and with his eyelight already flooding with magic she could be facing a pretty intense barrage of attacks.

Another strangled sound from him withered any indecision she was feeling. She could not leave him like this, she had to wake him, whatever risk that entailed. She gently laid her paws on him, beginning to carefully pull the blanket away bit by bit.

“Sans.” She said, in an elevated but still even tone. “Please my friend, wake up, it is only a nightmare, you are alright.”

He didn’t seem to react to her voice, just continued mumbling and trembling as she removed the rest of the blanket from him. Now uncovered, Toriel could see just how bad a state he was in. His eye sockets were screwed shut, yet blazing wisps of magic surged from his left socket, now illuminating the whole area in dizzying luminance. Sweat dripped down his skull and his phalanges were curled frantically into the plush material of the couch. Now without the blanket to muffle him, she could hear his panicked words with a bit more clarity, able to make out a few things.

“…ss-stop… i… m’sorry…” He gasped, the magic from his eyelight flaring up even brighter. “d-don’t… i’m _tr-trying_ … d-d-don’t… pl-please…”

Toriel felt her soul seize up at the pain and fear in his voice. It took a great deal of willpower not to become panicked over the situation herself. She had to fight back tears as she gave him a few shakes, raising her voice a little more.

“Sans! Please, you must wake up! Listen to me. You are safe, my friend.”

He froze up under her touch, going silent but remaining tightly curled up. She was about to speak again when suddenly his eye sockets shot open and she was staring down dark emptiness and the full intensity of his blazing eyelight. All at once, she felt a tremendous weight on her soul, pushing down on her body to the point she could hardly even lift her arms. He stared at her with a strange, detached expression before swinging out his arm and curling his phalanges around his open palm.

She opened her mouth to say something but was suddenly flung back against the coffee table, the impact knocking the wind out of her and sending the empty glass off the table with a crash. She gasped for breath, gripping at the table to keep herself steady and all the while mentally kicking herself for not being prepared. Meanwhile Sans was getting to his knees on the couch, drilling her with that terrible fervid eyelight. He kept his arm outstretched, pushing down on her soul and trying to keep her in place. It might have been an intimidating scene, if not for the way he trembled and the tears she could see gathering in his sockets.

“i-i’m s-sor-rry…” he wheezed out, as his magic formed a few bones around him. “i… i-i… h-have t-t-to… or h-he’ll… h-e’ll…”

He trailed off, his unfocused gaze lost to whatever he it was he was seeing. Toriel didn’t wait for him to speak again, she pushed through the grip he had on her soul, forcing herself back to her knees in front of him. She could feel the prickle of magic as the bones drifted around her body, waiting to plow into her at Sans’ command. She steeled herself, waiting to feel the sting of them striking her, but they didn’t. Something in his fearful gaze had shifted, and she took the chance to try and snap him out of it.

“Sans, please look at me.” She pleaded, moving forward to cup his skull in her paws. “It is I, Toriel, your dear friend. We are here in our home on the surface. You are safe. Whatever you are seeing… it is not real, I promise.”

He blinked, something she had not seen him do since he had woken up. Then he blinked again, the fear and distress radiating from his soul beginning to wane. His eyelight’s blaze dwindled a bit as well, and Toriel could feel the bones he’d summoned dissipate into a harmless shower of magic around her. He blinked one more time, causing the tears welling up in his sockets to spill down his cheekbones. His eyelight locked onto her, and she felt as though he were only now truly seeing her.

“…t-tori..?” He croaked, expression shifting then from fear to despair.

Toriel’s soul was practically alight with relief, but she did her best to stay focused and continue talking him down.

“Yes, yes my friend. It is me, I am right here.” She soothed, loosening her grip on him a bit. “You were having a nightmare, but you are safe Sans. Everything is fine. Just breathe.”

He just continued staring for a moment, then he flinched a bit as his eyelight guttered out and Toriel felt him release his hold on her soul. She couldn’t help the sigh of relief that left her as he did so, finally able to keep her arms up without straining. She regretted her actions immediately though as he cowered back from her against the couch cushions, clasping his left hand against his chest.

“oh g-god…” He said through a weak sob. “w-what was I d-doing to you?”

Toriel was quick to placate him, waving her paws in a dismissive manner.

“Sans, it is okay, I assure you, I am fine.”

The throbbing in her lower back begged to differ with her, but it was nothing serious, nor worth upsetting him further over.

“I tried to wake you, but startled you and you took hold of my soul, you also knocked a glass off the table. That is all.”

He gripped at his hand tighter and dropped his gaze from her, still shaking and gasping lightly through his teeth as he tried to ground himself. Tears continued to spill in a seemingly helpless manner down his cheekbones, dripping off his skull and falling into his lap. Toriel wanted so badly to approach and comfort him, but she hesitated, not wanting to potentially set him off again.

“Is it okay if I come sit by you?” She asked softly, resting her paws on the couch in front of her. “Or do you need some space right now, my friend?”

Sans couldn’t manage a verbal reply it seemed, so he just nodded stiffly after a few seconds. Toriel clambered back up onto the couch in turn, keeping her movements as soft and controlled as she could. She settled in beside him and gently laid a paw against his shivering back, moving it in small circles.

“Deep breaths now, deep breaths.” She murmured, feeling the slight sting of residual magic still flowing through his bones beneath her paw.

He heeded her and worked to slow his breathing. Toriel kept up her gentle words and acts of comfort all the while, giving him all the time he needed until his gasping finally eased and he could breathe normally. Even then he kept silent and continued shaking, leaving the soft rattling of his bones the only sound in the room.

Toriel watched as another tear fell from the bottom of his skull, vanishing into the dark material of his shorts. The sight made her feel as though her soul were being squeezed. In all the time she’d known him, she had never seen him cry. Before today he had always been so calm and collected, the very idea of him being reduced to tears like this should have shocked her. But after all that had transpired that day, everything she now knew about him, she didn’t find it surprising at all.

Her nurturing instinct kicked in though and without really thinking she reached out with her other paw and gently wiped the tears away from his face. He stiffened, but did not stop her, only pulling away a bit once she had finished and rubbing at his other eye socket himself with his sleeve.

“s-sorry…” he sniffed, voice thick and uneven.

Toriel resumed rubbing his back and shook her head, even though he not was facing her to see it.

“Do not apologize for that.” She replied quietly, voice warm with understanding. “You can cry if you need to, my friend.”

He set his jaw hard but did not offer a response to that. Toriel took a mental note of his reaction but did not push the issue further, letting them both lapse into silence for a while longer. His trembling calmed a fair bit, but it still did not cease. She could also feel the magic in his body rolling through him in unsteady waves, his soul seeming worked up and subdued all at once. The frown on her face deepened in concern. With how unstable his magic levels were from the alcohol earlier, his lack of proper rest, and his refusal to eat, he was bound to be feeling pretty horrible at this point, even on top of recovering from such an intense nightmare.

Her eyes fell on his water bottle laying on its side beside her. She picked it up and offered it to him, tapping it gently against his hand.

“Try to drink a little something, it should help settle your magic a bit.” She said, breaking the silence at last.

She was surprised when he turned from her sharply and clamped a hand over his mouth, shaking his head stiffly. His trembling increased in violence again and beads of sweat dripped down his skull.

“What is- “

She started to question him, but saw him squeeze his sockets shut and clutch at his middle with a groan as another violent wave of magic rolled through him. She realized what was wrong in a flash.

“Oh Sans… do not try to fight it dear, it is okay…” She soothed, quickly reaching over the couch and grabbing the plastic waste basket she had set there earlier.

“Here.” She gently set it in his lap and pulled his hood back from his skull, rubbing tenderly at his backbone again.

Her poor friend could only continue resisting a few more moments before giving in, pulling the basket close and ducking his head into it. His body heaved as he retched violently and he curled his phalanges around the rim as if he were clinging on for dear life. All the excess waste magic he’d created in his panic from before on top of all the alcohol he had consumed was finally taking its toll on him. His blighted soul was now purging it all, and it was not a pretty process.

Toriel winced in sympathy as he vomited again, trying not to let her own unease keep her from comforting him through the whole ordeal. In truth, seeing others get sick like this was very difficult for her. It reminded her too much of a certain human child after they’d eaten a great deal of poisonous flowers. How they just kept getting sick again and again, until their body finally gave out on them…

She did her best not to think about it, reminding herself that the situation was not the same. Indeed, with as little spare magic as Sans had in his soul to begin with, he was already beginning to recover. When he retched again it was far less intense than the first time.

“Easy now… Easy…” She soothed, feeling the magic within him twisting and rolling beneath her paw. “Just take your time, try to breathe. It will be over soon.”

He seemed to listen to her, drawing in shuddering breaths where he could between retches. She kept talking him through it and eventually she felt his soul’s fervor calm. He continued weakly gasping as the dry heaves ceased, keeping his grip on the basket as tight as he could. It took some gentle coaxing, but after a while he did let her take it from him. She tried not to look at the mess of fizzling waste magic inside as she set it back on the floor and pushed it away as far as she could with her foot, far enough that it was out of sight, but still reachable should it be needed again.

She glanced down at him in faint surprise when she felt him lean against her and grip at her dress lightly. It seemed that without the basket to cling to, his light headed-ness would have sent him sideways otherwise. She gingerly wrapped an arm around him to support him, mindful not to apply too much pressure. She gave him a minute or two to ensure he didn’t show any signs he’d be sick again before she spoke.

“Are you…” She cut herself off before the question could leave her in full. Like before, it was a foolish thing to ask. She rephrased it quickly.

“Can you talk to me, my friend?” She asked, running the curve of her claws lightly down his arm. “How are you feeling now? Is there anything I can do to help?”

His droopy, lightless sockets looked up at her briefly and she could see he was going through about a dozen emotions at once. Eventually though he let out a shaky sigh and managed to speak again.

“m’ alright…” He croaked, and the barest hint of a weary smile returned to his face. “well, o-okay… i f-feel like shit. but i-it’ll be… i’ll be f-fine…”

His words came off as though he were attempting to salvage some normalcy into the situation. Toriel wished he didn’t feel the need to do such a thing, but she decided not to comment on it. Her own guilt was welling up within her once more, leading her to hang her head a bit as she replied.

“I am sorry Sans, I am sure if I did not hurt you earlier the way I had, you wouldn’t have drank so much and you wouldn’t be feeling so badly now…”

Sans tightened his grip on her a bit and she felt him shake his head. He tried to reply but it was lost to a few coughs. He waved her off her concerned look, wheezing softly until he was able to speak again.

“n-nah… really th-this is… normal.” He rasped, looking up at her again with the faint glow of his normal eyelights restored.

Toriel stared down at him, unable to keep the sudden shock off her face. He blinked at her reaction and his forced grin turned more into a nervous grimace.

“s-sorry, shoulda’ rephrased th-that… its n-normal for _me_ … heh.”

That certainly did not make her feel any better. Worry clawed at her soul as the weight of his words sank in.

“So… it is always this bad? Even…” She gestured vaguely in the direction of the waste basket. “ _That_ bad?”

Sans looked as though he wanted to deny it, but he conceded her words with a small nod, directing his gaze away again.

“yah… it… it d-depends obviously. s-some nights are worse than o-others. it o-only occasionally g-gets… that bad.”

He paused, and she could feel him tense as he suppressed a shudder.

“course… as y-you’ve been n-noticing, it’s been a l-lot more intense recently… so occasionally m-might not be the right word to u-use anymore…”

Toriel rested her free paw against her chest, over her soul, as the implication of his words became clear. She swallowed against a lump in her throat, trying not to let her voice shake with sympathetic emotion.

“So… When I found you out in the kitchen two nights ago… and all those other times… you had just gone through…” She couldn’t finish, feeling the sting of tears in her eyes.

She remembered the state he’d been in back then, strangely without his jacket and slippers, trembling and gasping as he sat on the counter, nearly collapsing when he tried to walk to the door. It all was starting to make sense.

“yah…” Sans replied softly, seeming to pick up on the fact she wasn’t going to complete her sentence.

He tried to force something of a reassuring smile, glancing back at her.

“but y’know… it’s o-okay t, least w-with you here i was able to… sn-snap out of it a lot quicker than usual, heh… “

Once again, his attempts at dispelling her worries only worsened them. She was beginning to feel sick herself as her weary mind processed the true severity of her friend’s struggles.

“How… how long does it _usually_ take you…?” She asked weakly.

Sans didn’t reply for a bit, clearly not expecting the question and mentally kicking himself for inadvertently triggering it. Still, when he did finally reply, he tried to come off as light-hearted as he could manage, giving a small shrug of his shoulders as he spoke.

“eh… like an hour o-or so… give or t-take…”

Toriel felt her soul clench within her and she was unable to keep the shock off her face. She couldn’t help but picture her friend lying alone in the darkness of his room, sick, terrified and unable to discern his nightmares from reality. The thought of him trapped in that state for an hour or more... The despair she was feeling for him must have been evident on her face, because his attempted casualness all but withered upon meeting her eyes again.

“c-come on tori… don’t look at m-me like that.” He implored, reaching a shaky hand to rest on her paw.

“i’ll be alright… h-honest. like I s-said, i’ve d-dealt with all this for a long time now. i’m sorry you had to s-see all that, but it… really is normal. n-not anything to get so worried over, heh.”

She stared back at him in silence for a while longer before letting out a quiet sigh. Getting worked up like this wasn’t going to help anything. The realization of just how badly he suffered at night should not be so shocking, especially considering the nature of the other things he’d already told her. She couldn’t go back and stop what had already happened to him, but she could help him now. That was what she needed to focus on.

“It should _not_ be normal though, my friend…” She replied softly, reaching over and picking up his water bottle again.

She offered it to him and he took it without any hesitation this time, pressing the nozzle to his teeth and taking a few small sips. Even the small amount of magic it restored in him seemed to help, as his hands stopped shaking as much after a bit. Still, he set it aside again rather quickly, clearly not totally trusting his soul not to reject the newly absorbed magic. He leaned against her again with a sigh of his own, his tone sounding defeated.

“i-i know… i know…”

They slipped into silence again for a little while after that, letting their turbulent emotions settle within their souls. During this time, Toriel dug out her phone from her purse and checked the time. 3:14 AM, meaning they had slept for around 5 hours or so. That was certainly more then she had expected, but it didn’t stop her from feeling weariness weigh down on her soul again. Everything that had just happened though had jolted her awake in a way that she knew meant she would not be sleeping again for a while. Judging from her friend’s unsteady state, it would likely be the same for him.

Accepting that, she held out her paw in front of her and summoned a steady blaze of pale purple flame. Sans perked up with interest, blinking at the sudden light and warmth. She shot him a soft smile, a touch amused at his reaction. With a controlled, calculated flick of her wrist she flung the fireball across from them into the fireplace. It engulfed the logs there and flared up before burning at a stable level, retaining its purple color all the while. The whole room was softly lit up by the flames, just enough so they could see properly but not too much as to be a strain on their weary eyes. The fire crackled pleasantly and enveloped them both in a comforting warmth.

Toriel hummed contently in her throat, enjoying the feeling of the gentle heat on her fur. Sans seemed rather pleased by it as well, if the sudden lack of tension in his posture was any indication. He did something a bit odd then. Perhaps caught up in the moment, he started to move over as though to climb into her lap again. He remembered himself quickly though, shrinking back a bit and glancing up at her uncertainly. Toriel understood, nodding with an inviting smile and giving him a little nudge forward with a paw. He obliged, still with a touch of embarrassment in his expression. He settled back into her arms as she closed them around him, still ensuring she was especially gentle about it. They both sat in the now more comfortable silence for another minute or so before Sans spoke up again.

“tori… i… uh…” He started but trailed off, seeming to doubt himself a bit.

“Yes?” She responded softly, hoping to encourage him.

He worked his jaw in indecision before getting the nerve to speak again in a quieter tone.

“i… well, i jus’ wanted… t-to thank you.”

Toriel blinked in mild surprise, but did not interrupt him as he went on.

“i know i’m a mess… and you didn’t have to… y’know, put up with my issues all th-this time. talking about everything that h-happened before is hard as hell and I suck at it... i _really_ suck at it… this whole thing sucks. i am un- _suck_ -sessful at not sucking.”

She could practically hear the small smile that came with the pun and she found herself fighting back a grin of her own. He quickly returned to a more somber tone though, huddling a bit closer.

“but uh… i’m glad y-you got me to… to talk. i guess i was in denial about how bad I’ve g-gotten recently. and I’m not sure how much longer i could h-have went on like that before… uh… well…”

Toriel could feel him try and fail to suppress a shudder, and she tightened her grip on him in response. The nature of his words was not lost on her.

“s-something was going to have to give eventually.” He croaked, voice becoming thick as he forced himself to finish the sentence.

For a moment, she thought he was going to start crying again, but he took a steadying breath and went on in a more even tone.

“so… thanks… sh-shitty as this is, it’s easier to deal with it with y-you around.”

Toriel felt her soul flood with a mix of emotions at that, leaving her rather choked up. She momentarily couldn’t find the words to reply. She could only hug him tighter until her mouth wanted to cooperate with her again.

“I… y-you are welcome… Of course, my friend.” She managed at last. “You know I would do anything for you… and as I said before, I could never consider you a burden. Your struggles are nothing to be ashamed of. I will do whatever I can do help you through this, and hopefully in time, these nightmares will not be such a normal thing for you anymore.”

There was so much more she wanted to say, but she left it at for now. His gratitude warmed and reinvigorated her soul in more ways than one, only furthering her desire to ensure she saw him through this. Despite how much he had recovered since waking up, she was well aware he was still feeling pretty terrible and she wanted to do what she could to address that. An idea popped into her head, but she put a pin in it for the moment, directing her attention back down to Sans. He had gone rather quiet after her response, only replying to it in the form of a nod against her chest.

“Sans, how are you feeling now? Specifically, I mean…” She asked, slowly running a paw down his back, trying to get a feel for the state of his soul.

His response mirrored what she was she was feeling for herself.

“heh… w-well, if I’m being honest here… my skull f-feels like someone took a hammer to it, my s-soul feels like it’s being twisted up, i’ve got like… chills or s-something and i’m dizzy as hell.” He paused as a weak excuse for a chuckle escaped him. “so yup, that h-hangover’s definitely come a knocking.”

Toriel hummed thoughtfully, considering what could be done about all that. His condition was certainly being made worse due to his refusal to eat, on top of what little spare magic he had had being lost during his bout of sickness. Even just drinking water was difficult for him at this point. Her idea sprang to mind again. It would certainly help… but she wasn’t sure what he would think of it. Feeling another unsteady pulse of magic from the skeleton’s soul made her decide it was at least worth a try.

“My friend…” She spoke up once more, shifting back slightly to be able to meet his gaze.

“Could I… May I… see your soul for a minute?”

Sans blinked up at her, pale eyelights shrinking a bit in surprise. He quirked a brow ridge at her in a somewhat playful fashion, a touch of cyan coloring his cheekbones.

“that’s… uh…” he coughed once. “that’s r-rather forward of you tori…heh heh heh”

She shot him a flat look and gave him a light swat.

“Not for _that_ you bonehead.” She retorted in an irritated tone, though she found herself fighting the urge to smile as she did.

He chuckled in response, holding up his hands in surrender. The actual genuine-ness of his laughter made it hard to feel any real exasperation for his comment, but she kept her expression hardened for her own sake.

“No… I simply want to donate some magic to you. It will help you feel better, especially since you don’t feel up to eating anything.” She explained.

“oh…” He uttered simply in response, humor dying from his expression quickly.

He ghosted a hand over his chest, gripping at his undershirt over the spot where his soul no doubt floated beneath. Uneasiness and perhaps even a touch of self-consciousness shone in the weak light of his eyes.

“i dunno tori… my soul is uh… it’s n-not a pretty sight y’know? and i’ve n-never really…” He trailed off, kneading the fabric nervously between his phalanges.

Toriel’s expression softened in sympathy, scarlet eyes gentle once more.

“I understand that Sans, I figured as much from what you have told me. I would certainly never judge you for such a thing... But if you do not feel comfortable with the idea, that is fine my friend, I can try and figure out something else that can be done.”

Toriel could see the indecision in Sans’ eyelights as he considered her words, a few drops of sweat forming on his skull. After a minute though, he drew in a steadying breath and nodded, meeting her gaze again.

“nah... you’re r-right… as usual. i trust ya, tori.” He said, working up a weak smile.

Toriel smiled right back, soul welling with gratitude. She watched as he shifted back a bit, still sitting on her outstretched legs, but putting a bit of space between them. He took a few more deep breaths before the process. He uncurled his phalanges over his chest, pressing his hand flat against it and summoning up a gentle cyan glow.

The glow spread from his hand until Toriel could see the light of his soul brightening within him, making the silhouette of his ribcage visible beneath his clothes. Slowly, he pulled his hand back and as he did, he drew his soul out with it. He moved both hands to cradle the floating upside-down heart as its glow dulled back to its usual luster. He stared down at it with a strange mix of sadness and discomfort in his expression as it spun in lazy circles before him.

Toriel had to admit she had been rather transfixed watching the scene unfold. Now though, she snapped herself out of her stupor and held out her paws flat to him in silent entreating. The skeleton hesitated only a moment before ever so carefully handing his soul over to her, laying it gently over the pads of her paws. She cupped her paws protectively around the little heart, cradling it as though it could shatter at any moment. She felt her own soul sink within her as she took in the condition of the one floating in her grasp.

Sans had certainly not been exaggerating when he’d said his soul was not a pretty sight. It’s glow was weak and pulsed sluggishly, only about half as bright as it should be. The magic flowing from it felt unstable and jittery, clearly a result of Sans’ poor state and his soul’s own inherit frailness. All of that paled in comparison to the most notable concerning feature though, the cracks. The soul was positively covered in them.

The largest and most notable crack ran all the way down from the top tip of the soul to the bottom left bell curve, marking itself as a harsh white line against the pale silver of the soul. Toriel reasoned that it had to be the one from when Sans was first “made”, the crack he’d gotten from the injection of the human traits. The other cracks were hairline thin, fracturing out from others and crisscrossing each other wherever their paths crossed. There was hardly any area of the soul left unmarked by these small cracks. They were not nearly as noticeable if one wasn’t looking closely, but they were just as concerning when taken into consideration with everything else.

Toriel did her best not to look too shocked at the sight, knowing Sans was watching her anxiously. She inhaled deeply through her nose and faced him again, forcing a small smile. As much as she wanted to say something about the nature of his soul, she decided to let it be for now. Nothing could be done in the moment for it, and dwelling on it would only potentially upset him. She had to direct all her attention into the task at hand.

“I am going to start now, let me know if anything feels off and I will stop, okay?” She said softly, bringing the soul a little closer to her chest.

Sans blinked, perhaps surprised at her lack of comment regarding the dire appearance of his soul, but gave a small nod in response. She could feel his gaze on her as she took a steadying breath and summoned up a soft green glow about her paws. Slowly, she began directing a gentle flow of magic into his soul, watching it carefully for any signs of it not taking it well. It responded with a slightly brighter glow, drawing in the magic without a fight.

“w-woahh…” Sans stammered in surprise, eyelights shrinking a bit as he began feeling the effects of her work.

Toriel gave him a worried glance, preparing to cut off the flow if needed.

“Are you alright? Do you want me to stop?” She asked.

He shook his head, watching the process with suddenly wide sockets.

“n-nah, its fine. j-just… wasn’t expecting that.” He said, shivering a bit. “feels k-kinda weird but not bad at all… its warm, but also like uh… tingly?”

Toriel giggled softly, making sure not to jostle his soul at all as she did.

“That is normal my friend.” She assured him, keeping her eyes glued on the soul in her paws.

After another minute or so, she felt satisfied with the amount of magic his soul had absorbed. Its glow had brightened noticeably, even if it was still far from ideal, and the pulses of magic from it felt far more steady and balanced. She carefully severed her magic’s connection from his soul, drawing the rest of it back down into her paws again. There was a noticeable ache in her head that came with giving up large portions of her own magic, but she was happy to ignore it in favor of smiling down at the result of her work.

She kept that tired smile on her face as she handed the soul back to Sans, and watched him guide it back into his chest. Once it was returned to its proper place, he let out a content sigh and faced her with a far more genuine grin.

“well damn, that really _does_ feel a lot better.” He said, still looking tired but not as utterly exhausted as before. “thanks tori…”

“You are quite welcome Sans, I am glad it helped.” She replied warmly, relaxing back against the couch cushions again. “I have not used that technique in quite some time, I am grateful to see I have not lost my touch.”

He blinked at that, looking as though he were going to comment on it but for some reason deciding against it. His silence invited Toriel to speak again, though she felt equally reluctant considering what she planned to ask. They had been avoiding the topic since he’d awoken and now that he was in a more stable state she couldn’t shy from it any longer.

“So, Sans… do you… do you want to talk about your nightmare?” She asked quietly.

He froze up a bit and avoided her eyes, smile withering into a grimace. The sight made her feel a stab of guilt, but she kept on with it, feeling that it was necessary.

“You were apologizing to me… acting as though someone were forcing you to attack me… or well, whoever you thought I was.” She explained, working to keep her voice gentle.

Sans shuddered lightly, but met her gaze in distressed surprise. She could see him internally warring with himself, eventually seeming to deflate in resignation.

“honestly… i don’t want to talk about it, I really don’t, but…” he trailed off, eyelights becoming hazy. “but… i probably _should_ huh?”

Toriel worried her lip with her fangs, reaching over to gently lay a paw on his shoulder.

“That is up to you, my friend.” She reminded him. “If you think it will upset you too much to talk about, then you do not have to. But if not… it might help to get it off your chest.”

He offered a reluctant nod at that, eyelights wavering as he considered her words. After a few moments, he shifted forward back into her arms again, settling into her embrace before muttering out his answer.

“i’ll… tell you the gist at least...” He relented, voice soft enough that it was almost lost to the crackle of the fire.

“Very well…” She replied. “Take all the time you need.”

He made a soft affirmative sound, going quiet again as he seemed to be thinking it over. She could feel him tapping his phalanges against her arm as he considered his words.

“basically, i was… uh, dreaming about one of the experiments that the doc and the others used to do with me.” He explained, voice rather dull.

“i told ya about the uh, heh, “karmic retribution” right? this was one of the ways ol g tested its effects. he’d bring in monsters off of death row, monsters who’d done seriously bad things, real sickos. and uh… instead of them being executed the official way, the scientists would try to get… me to do it.”

Toriel felt a chill run down her spine, trying to think back on how such criminals were dealt with in her time. Execution was only ever to be used in the most dire of circumstances, and it was a very rare occurrence. If this Gaster and his group did these kinds of experiments on somewhat of a regular basis… That meant either the standard of criminal slated for penalty of death had been lowered since her leaving the throne, or monsterkind’s imprisonment underground had driven far more monsters to depravity by that point. Neither option lessened the unease she felt pooling within her soul.

“keyword being… _try_.” Sans went on with a touch of false humor. “despite all their threats towards me and their insistence on how totally rotten my targets were, i just… couldn’t do it.”

She felt him shudder again, his bones rattling quietly. She squeezed him a little tighter, rubbing gentle circles into his back until he could continue.

“i’d fire a blaster at them, and it would seriously hurt them… they’d, y’know, scream and their hp would drain… but they never died. thing was, back then as a kid, i just couldn’t muster up any intent to kill… even with monsters most would agree are better off burning in hell… and intent is everything with my kind of magic… i’m too weak to really kill anything by accident…”

He trailed off for a bit, seemingly lost in thought… or lost in memories. It went on long enough that Toriel thought he’d said all he could manage for now, but he eventually went on.

“the doc didn’t like that… he _really_ didn’t like that. after all, he made me to eventually kill humans, that was my whole purpose. even if i was just a prototype, he was determined to get some use outa’ me. so uh… everytime i’d fail or even hesitate too much, they’d… well, punish me.”

Toriel gulped at that, her emotions swirling between anger, dread and sadness. That odd twinge of protectiveness stirred within her again and she felt her claws extend to their full length as she held him close.

“course… they couldn’t do much to me, er… physically y’know? i was too fragile for that. usually they’d just lock me up in this weird little isolation cell they had for a few days since they knew how much I, well… hated it. but when that didn’t work for them anymore, they started threatening to hurt papyrus if i didn’t cooperate. they were just messing with me of course. they’d never risk harming their final project, but that didn’t stop me from believing them.”

He drew in another shaky breath and Toriel could feel subdued waves of his own dark emotions radiating from within him. In the moment, it almost felt as though their feelings, and by extension their souls, were in sync with each other.

“sometimes they’d tell me they had killed him after i failed, just to push me past my breaking point, trying to see if that would be the key to unlocking my killer instinct. it still didn’t work, all their threats and attempts led me to try as hard as i could, but i still couldn’t finish any of the targets off. Then ol g would just… kill them all himself in front of me, showing how easy it should be, drilling into me what a complete waste i was... eh heh… his words, not mine.”

He went silent again and for a while the only sound came from the gentle crackle and pop of the fireplace. His emotions seemed to even out within him again, and it was as if she could physically detect the sensation of him repressing them back from whence they came.

“yah… i think that’s good enough for now… you get the idea i’m sure…” He mumbled, voice becoming guarded once more.

“Yes… Alright…” Toriel said as she nodded numbly. “I… I am so very sorry, my friend.”

She didn’t know what else to say. What _could_ she say? No words could make this better. It didn’t shock her as badly as when she had first heard about his childhood, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t devastating to hear regardless. His frantic mutterings from when he had been having the nightmare came back to her. All the pain and terror she’d heard in his voice then now made clear sense. She found herself fighting back tears again.

“you know…it’s kinda weird.” Sans spoke up again after a moment, surprising her. “i haven’t had nightmares about the stuff from back then in a long time. usually it’s all just the more uh… recent events, h-heh…

She wasn’t sure how he managed it, but he kept a deal of light-heartedness in his tone as he went on.

“I know it’s because we dredged all that up today…er yesterday, but sometimes it feels like my mind just wants to change up the program, y’know? can’t have me getting too used to the usual fair after all. gotta keep it fresh and make sure it’s always enough to keep me from trying to sleep again.”

He shrugged his shoulders a bit in a sarcastic manner, then let them fall again with a sigh.

“it certainly hasn’t failed yet... no way i’m getting back to snoozeville any time soon.” He admitted, doing his best to mask the unease still lingering in his voice. “my mind’s a real piece of work, but a clever one, i’ll give it that.”

Toriel hummed thoughtfully at his words, casting her eyes towards the violet flames of the fireplace. Clearly, Sans was trying to avoid getting worked up as he had before, clinging back to his usual, dismissive way of speaking in an attempt to accomplish that. Still, it had allowed him to talk about it easier, even if it meant treating the dark subject with not even a fraction of the weight it deserved.

She let it be, sensing he really wanted to avoid discussing the topic further at this point. She took a mental note of all of her questions and thoughts surrounding this new batch of information, intending to write it down in her diary with everything else later.

“I fear I am not going to be able to sleep for the time being either, my friend.” She replied finally, doing her best to refocus her thoughts. “Would you… like to do something to take your mind off this for a while? Maybe watch that documentary you told me about?”

Sans shifted back a bit to look up at her, giving her a weak, but seemingly genuine smile. It should have been a relieving sight, but the dark shadows under his eye sockets and the faint remnants of tear tracks on his face made it difficult to offer an equal smile back. She did her best anyway, about to reach for the remote when he stopped her with his answer.

“actually tori, i uh… i was thinking. I never really letcha have your turn, y’know? to talk about you, i mean. i kinda, heh, screwed it all up by being a mess earlier. but uh… if you want...”

Toriel blinked in surprise. Truthfully, she had almost forgotten about her side of the deal in all this amongst everything that had happened. She felt a small pang of gratitude towards Sans for bringing it up. Her smile grew far more sincere.

“Interested are we?” She teased softly, giving him a wink. “Of course my friend, I did promise you I would, did I not?”

He only replied with a sheepish grin, but it didn’t last long. He moved back to rest against her comfortably and looked up at her expectantly. He was trying to appear casual, but Toriel could see genuine interest shimmering in the lights of his eyes. It prompted another soft chuckle from her, finding it all quite endearing.

“Just give me a moment to gather my thoughts on the matter…” She said, wrapping a supporting arm back around her friend.

She sat up a bit more and tapped a claw against her chin, casting her thoughts back to her earliest memories for the first time in a long, _long_ time. It was a strange feeling, reflecting on events from so long ago that they may as well been from a different lifetime entirely. She ultimately settled on a few key points, turning back to meet her friend’s gaze.

“Well, as you said yourself, it is always best to start at the beginning, is it not?” She said, voice softening.

“ideally yah, otherwise you might really _start_ -tle your audience.” Sans quipped back with a wink of his own.

A snort of laughter escaped her at that before she could go on, and she felt quite happy for the sudden feeling of normalcy. She cleared her throat with a bit of dramatic flair.

“I was born… many centuries ago, in a grand castle that used to stand not too far from here.” She began, casting her eyes back towards the fireplace as she spoke.

“I was the only heiress born to my parents, King Manual and Queen Guia, the rulers of the western monster kingdom. You may recognize their names from old history books. I grew up as one would expect of a princess, living a rather lavish lifestyle. Dresses and crowns, etiquette lessons, visits to our subjects, visits to the other monster kingdom and various other settlements, banquets, dancing… all of it seems quite silly looking back now.”

Her eyes turned a touch wistful as some notable moments from her early life seemed to flash before her.

“Back then, I was never happy about being a princess. All the rules and expectations wore down on me. I was determined to be a free spirit. I caused my parents quite a deal of grief with my acts of rebellion. I would change into shabby dresses I had made myself before important events, sneak off into the royal gardens to hunt for bugs and play with the animals, pull pranks on the servants and guards and just generally act silly and undignified when I really should not have.”

A warm giggle escaped her, feeling her face heat up a bit at admitting to her younger self’s unruly behavior. She caught a glance of Sans’ amused grin from the corner of her eye and turned her gaze back to him.

“sounds like you were a pretty awesome kid to me.” He chuckled. “and y’know, i’d say you haven’t changed all that much.”

Toriel quirked an eyebrow at that, not sure if she should be offended by the statement or not.

“Oh? Certainly not. I handled my role as queen far better than I did my early princess days. Why if I had true power back then I would probably have made snails an official delicacy or ordered every royal structure be painted in polka dots. I was near incapable of taking anything seriously in those days. You cannot say that is the case now.”

Sans shrugged playfully, eyelights brightening with mischief.

“nah, i mean yah, you grew up and had to be responsible and sophisticated and all to rule the kingdom but… you’re still a big goofball at heart tori.” He lightly poked her muzzle with a phalange. “don’tcha try and deny it.~”

She attempted to frown at him but her scrunched up muzzle probably made the look appear more amusing than she intended. Eventually though her façade failed her and her face split into a grin again. She batted his hand away, unable to keep the smile off her face.

“Fine, I shall not deny it.” She replied. “But you had better watch yourself funnybones.”

He shrugged again in response, shooting her a wink. “heh... alright old lady.”

After a few moments, his grin suddenly faltered a bit and he looked up at her again with far less confidence.

“hey, so uh… you don’t have to answer this if it’s too personal, but i was just… wondering. what were your parents like? did you… y’know… get along with them?” He asked.

Toriel’s own expression mellowed out at the question and she blinked slowly before answering. A torrent of memories regarding her mother and father came flooding back to her and she did her best to parse them effectively.

“As much stress and frustration as I caused them, my parents loved me and raised me well.” Toriel replied, reaching up to rub one of her long ears between her fingers, an old self-soothing ritual.

“My father was a kind and energetic soul, he always made an effort to smile and see the positive in any situation. He was gentle, but knew also how to be firm and address serious threats with a great deal of strength and dignity. Monsters really respected him, he was a friend to many and a guardian to all.”

Her scarlet eyes shone with warmth as she spoke, fangs flashing as her smile widened.

“He and I were very close. Despite all the trouble I caused, he always found something to praise about my efforts, even if it was just my tenacity alone. He used to carry me everywhere on his shoulders and I have many fond memories of sleeping on his head between his massive horns, all curled up in his thick black mane. He was also the one who encouraged my um… _unique_ sense of humor. I think you would have liked him, he certainly would have liked you.”

Sans seem a touched surprised at that, offering a smile but one that seemed weak in comparison to before. When he didn’t comment on her words, Toriel continued.

“My mother… well, our relationship was a little more complicated.” She admitted, eyes dulling a bit. “She was beautiful, dignified and almost always serious. She wanted so badly for me to change and be what she envisioned for our kingdom. It seemed we spent far more time fighting than anything else. She was never neglectful or cruel, just never seemed to accept me as I was.”

Toriel felt a dull, old ache in her soul. An ache that only worsened as she went on.

“Then when I was about eleven or so, she was terribly injured and her face disfigured in an assassination attempt by a group of humans. I will discuss that in more detail later but… it caused her to lose all confidence in herself. She rarely ever made public appearances again and became far more distant from everyone, especially me and father.”

She shook her head slowly, still gently rubbing her ear between her pads of her thumb and forefinger.

“Things were never the same after that. I would have loved for us even to fight again if it meant she would speak to me at all aside from occasional one word answers. I tried everything I could think of in those days to get her to smile again, to engage with us. But she had just shut down. It was that way until she passed unfortunately. We had a few good moments here and there, but in all… It was hard for me not to feel abandoned by my mother.”

She forced herself out of her musing, facing Sans with a sad smile.

“Sorry, kind of rambled a bit there. Despite my issues with my mother, I look back on my parents fondly. They taught me much of what I needed to know and I carry that still to this day. I hope that answers your question.”

The skeleton nodded, looking away and still with a rather empty looking grin. The possible cause for his behavior came to Toriel quickly and she immediately felt the too-familiar sting of guilt. How could she have not seen how talking about her parents could affect him? Here she was complaining about her relationship with her mother as if it held a candle to what he’d been through. How could she be so insensitive? She opened her mouth to apologize but he beat her to it.

“yah… it does. makes a lotta sense actually.” He murmured, offering her a slightly stronger grin. “your pop sounds like he was a swell guy. shame about what happened with your mom but, for what it’s worth, you really showed her y’know? you turned out to be ten times the mother she ever was. a hundred times even.”

The compliment caught her off guard a bit, banishing her earlier thoughts for the moment. She knew he intended the words to bring her comfort, but they met her soul with a rush of pain. Faces of all the children she’d failed flashed across her mind, filling her vision briefly. She tried not to shudder or let her sudden despair show on her face.

“I… I do not know about that.” She replied weakly, blinking the painful images away. “But… thank you, my friend.”

He did not meet her words with a response and she found for the moment she could not face him. She felt him reach over and lay his hand over her paw. It was a small gesture, quite literally, but its intent was clear. She moved in turn to properly hold his hand, enveloping it in her large paw and giving it a gentle, grateful squeeze.

They let the silence between them stretch on for a while, listening to the soft sounds of the fireplace as the near-spent logs settled downward with small showers of sparks. Neither let go of the others hand. Toriel wasn’t sure how long it had been, but she was eventually broken out of her daze when Sans spoke again.

“tori… this is a little off topic but…” He began, prompting her to finally look back at him. “you’re like, immortal, right?”

That gave her pause, but she managed a nod in response.

“Yes, as of now. My kind can only age as our children do. Our… biological children.”

The clarification at the end came with another wave of pain and she tightened her grip on his hand a bit. Sans’ eyelights flashed with sympathy but he went on, expression rather hollow.

“right… i just… i just wondered uh, does it ever… get to you? your immortality I mean.”

Toriel tilted her head a bit, a small frown appearing on her face.

“Sometimes… certainly, if I allow myself to dwell on it. But what exactly do you mean by “get to me”?” She asked.

Sans cringed slightly, looking then as though he wanted desperately to drop the subject. But something drove him to keep with it, despite his clear unease.

“like… does it ever make you feel detached from everything? like you’re stuck in a way that no one else can really relate to? like nothing you do really matters in the grand scheme of things?”

The rather profound and harrowing nature of the questions left her stunned, as well as his sudden eloquence. She only truly considered an answer for a moment before concern for him overwhelmed those thoughts. What would prompt him to ask such things? She opened her mouth to say… something, but no words came. She eased it shut again, swallowing hard.

Sans didn’t seem to notice her reaction, he had an oddly faraway look in his eyelights as he turned his gaze towards the purple flames before them. His voice mirrored this as he spoke again, sounding just as distant and emotionless.

“does it ever make you want to just… give up?”

The question hung in the air, it’s terrible weight heavy on both their souls. Toriel could only stare at him in shocked silence. He kept his gaze locked on the fire, the flitting shadows dancing across his face in an eerie manner. Neither said a word.

Outside, a distant peal of thunder rumbled ominously and the wind picked up with a light howl. After all the calm weather that day, it seemed that a storm was closing in.

 

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((BEAUTIFUL fanart for [the spanish version](https://www.wattpad.com/633256256-ut-todas-estas-piezas-rotas-soriel-by-paddiefrog) of this chapter by Gabriella_Lu/Lau.))

 


	8. The Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally finished this one \\( ouo)/ work was kicking my butt. I really enjoyed writing this chapter a lot though. Even if it hurt ;w; Hope you enjoy. 
> 
> (Warnings for this chapter: suicidal themes, some blood... kinda)
> 
> Spanish version of this chapter translated by the wonderful Gabriella_Lu/Lau can be found here!: https://www.wattpad.com/640008594-ut-todas-estas-piezas-rotas-soriel-by-paddiefrog/page/14

Worry wound its way around Toriel’s soul in a crushing knot as her friend’s question echoed in her ears. With the nature of it, she felt she absolutely needed to reply and she cursed her mind for being so scrambled from the shock of it all. Sans was waiting for her to speak, keeping his gaze away but still gripping at her paw expectantly. Eventually she settled on meeting his question with her own, letting her concerns coat her words.

“Is… is that how _you_ feel, my friend?” She asked, giving his hand a squeeze.

Sans stiffened but did not face her. His voice was still as smooth as ever when he spoke again.

“we’re talking about you right now, remember?” He replied, and she saw him curl his free hand into a fist above his knee. “so does it?”

His persistence with the question told her he really wanted, perhaps _needed_ to hear an answer from her. She bit her lip anxiously, wondering how to respond to him. Part of her wanted to keep pressing him for the reason behind his words, but she could tell he was already incredibly on edge. This had clearly not been an easy thing for him to ask. Reacting badly to it could damage his trust in her. So, she thought it over and at some point, the words came almost subconsciously.

“Well… I do not know exactly what you mean by “give up” but... I certainly have had times were the weight of my failures, and this immortality born from that failure, has instilled in me some… dark thoughts.”

She swallowed, not sure how much she was willing to admit to on the subject at this point. Sans remained still as a statue, not even keeping up the act of breathing as he listened intently. She eventually worked up the nerve to keep going, voice growing heavy with heartache.

“Back when I was in the ruins, and even on occasionally hard days now…I would think to myself… look what you have done. Look how you failed all these children… Your own son, your adopted child and now all of these others. You could not save any of them. You are not cut out to be anyone’s mother. You failed them and let them die. Now you will have all eternity to suffer for it.”

She paused, aware of the fact she was now shivering slightly. Her words had gotten away with her there… She had not intended to be that honest. Now her emotions were choking her and her soul ached terribly. Beneath the pain though, something about admitting all that felt good, like those terrible words were no longer stuck in her head. They had also prompted Sans to finally look back at her, and his expression spoke volumes. Fierce guilt and sorrow shone in the wavering lights of his eyes, but it seemed he could not will himself to speak. So even as tears begun to sting her eyes, Toriel kept talking.

“Those thoughts were amplified in the crushing isolation of that place…” She croaked. “Being alone like that after suffering such loss is not healthy, any psychologist would tell you as much I am sure. I only had that empty house and my memories to occupy me. And each time one of the children left, each time I failed another one… I… I hate to say it. But there were points where in my despair… I did… b-briefly consider…”

She forced herself to stop, clamping her mouth shut so hard her fangs dug painfully into her lip. What was wrong with her? She couldn’t admit to _that_. Stars, what would he think of her? She was supposed to be the strong one here. Why had she said all that? She was supposed to be helping him. Not displaying her ugly scars for him to feel guilty over. How could she hope to be the support he needed if she was teetering on the edge of breaking down herself? Damn it, she was usually better at handling this.

Her tone abruptly changed in an attempt to become more stable as she rushed to try and salvage the situation, hoping to cut off any shocked response from Sans.

“B-but I never lingered on such thoughts for t-too long.” She insisted, even as her vision blurred and she felt the warmth of tears running into the fur on her cheeks.

“I a-always reminded myself that if there was even a chance I could s-save one of them someday. I h-had to be there to ensure that happened. Even if it felt hopeless, I h-had to be strong and keep trying… I had too. They deserved that chance t-to survive. Those ch-children d-did not have anyone else who would protect them… no one at least… u-until I met you of course.”

She tried to meet his gaze again but her vision was too watery for her to see how he was taking her words. She cursed under her breath, sniffling and wiping at her eyes with her free paw. She mentally raged at herself for letting her emotions get so out of hand. As she fought to compose herself, she felt him slowly let go of her paw. In her current state, her mind saw it as a sign of disgust or disappointment on his part. Before those feelings could be truly realized though, she was surprised to feel him suddenly stand up on the couch in front of her and wrap his arms around her neck in a tight hug.

“t-tori i’m so sorry, please don’t cry. i’m s-sorry, i shouldn’ve…” His words came out shaky and pained. It seemed that the odd trance he’d been in had been shattered by her tearful reaction.

Toriel blinked, taken aback for a moment before quickly returning the hug. She held him close and forced herself to speak past the lump in her throat.

“No, n-no it is okay…” She breathed, giving his back a rub. “I d-did promise that I would be open with you about these things as well, d-did I not? I am alright, my friend… I assure you. It has just b-been a while since I have really thought about it. I am alright…”

He gripped at her tighter, trembling lightly. She felt his phalanges curl into her dress and the fur at the back of her neck.

“i… d-don’t why i asked all that…” He croaked, voice trembling as he did. “it was shitty of me. i’m sorry, i don’t know w-what’s wrong with me.”

“Shhh…” She shushed him, before drawing in a deep breath to steady herself. “Sans, it is okay. These things are p-painful yes, but they are still important to talk about. Otherwise they can fester within our souls a-and make our suffering so much worse. I… I could not seem to control m-my words there, I suppose I probably n-needed to say it.”

Sans didn’t reply, only continued to shiver in their tight embrace. Toriel swallowed hard and fought back against the waterworks. With what she wished to say next, she needed to be as level-headed as she could manage. Her scarlet eyes stung as she eased them shut.

“And… I feel as though there is a r-reason you asked me that, is there not?”

The skeleton flinched at her question and she could feel his soul becoming racked with layers of pain and fear. That alone was more than enough of an answer, but he managed a verbal response eventually as well.

“t-tori… i… i j-just…” He choked out, the strength starting to go out of him.

Toriel began to feel tears falling onto her neck again, but this time they were not her own.

“i know i h-have to tell you, okay?” He continued in a broken, almost panicked tone. “i-it can’t wait anymore. i’ve b-been avoiding it all this time and i just… you h-have to know or n-nothing else w-will make sense. i know that. i’m j-just-”

“Shhh…” Toriel shushed him again, gently pulling him down into her arms to hold him more properly against her chest. His legs gave out beneath him as she did so, leaving him sitting in her lap just as he had been so many other times that night. Her own overwhelming desire to comfort him helped stave off any further tears of her own. When she reopened her eyes, she found she could see far more clearly. The sight that met her however did little to soothe her aching soul.

She couldn’t see her friend’s face as he had huddled up as close to her as he could, but the sight of his small, shuddering form in her arms was more than enough to hurt her. The feeling of damp spots forming on her lower neck only made it worse. Still, she couldn’t ignore what he had just said. She did her best to keep her voice steady as she spoke again.

“My friend, if there is something you feel you must tell me, you know I will be happy to listen.” She soothed, running a paw gently up and down his back. “But first, try to relax a little, okay? Your soul is… very worked up right now. Just breathe, I am not going anywhere.”

Sans went silent at her words and just continued to shake, bones rattling softly. Toriel could tell he was trying hard to fight against the tears escaping him, but they still came regardless. So it was that he wept in silence, unable to stop the tears but managing to keep himself quiet aside from the occasional shaky intake of breath. Shame started to mix in with the magic flowing from his already emotionally strained soul.

She wished he didn’t feel so bad about crying in front of her, or crying at all for that matter. He had been acting the same way about it earlier after he’d woken from his nightmare. Surely, he must know that such a thing would never bother her. If she was being honest, Sans seemed like someone who needed to cry, and not like this, but _really_ cry. He was so tightly wound up emotionally speaking, and had the situation not been as distressing as it was, he would have never allowed himself to even get to this point. It was like that with any of his emotions too.

She had noticed him keep himself from getting too excited or too happy over things. And his outburst of anger yesterday showed just how little he knew how to handle that. He didn’t seem to ever allow himself to feel much beyond lazy, half-hearted amusement if he could help it. All that repression couldn’t be good for him, and likely was part of the reason his nightmares and other issues were as bad as they were.

The fact he was crying like this at all though was a clear sign of just how serious whatever he wanted to talk about was. She couldn’t guess what it was based on what she knew, but had a hunch it was what had been affecting him so badly throughout this. His words from the day before came back to her and she had to suppress a shudder.

_as for um… what the patience essence gave me… well... i’ll save that for a bit later. its uh… a bit of a doozy._

_oh, uh, also… don’t worry about what’cha said before… it’ll make sense why i… y’know… we’ll uh… we’ll get to that part eventually… heh._

What could be so bad that it seemed to cause him far more pain than even his terrible childhood? What had that injection done to him? Back when she first worried over the signs of her friend’s hidden despair, she never could have imagined she be able to get him to be this honest with her. Now though, she felt she was on the verge of finally knowing the key element that was causing her friend’s suffering. The element that would finally explain all his odd comments over the years that seemed to make no sense.

She sniffed one last time from a few lingering tears and steeled herself as best she could as Sans slowly calmed in her arms. His trembling all but ceased after a few minutes and he managed to get the tears to stop as well. Still, he felt so very tense and his soul’s flow of magic remained highly unsettled. It seemed to her that there was little hope of him truly relaxing until he got whatever he needed to speak of off of his chest at last.

Another rumble of thunder from outside caused one of her long ears to twitch. It also seemed to snap Sans out of his stupor as he finally turned his head a bit and loosened his tight grip on her. When she glanced down at him though, he shied from her gaze, keeping his head low. Clearly, he did not want her to see the state his face was in after all that. She left him be, turning back to look at the fireplace instead and giving him a gentle, hopefully reassuring, pat on the arm.

“Sounds like a storm is blowing in.” She said softly, finally breaking the silence. “I suppose we are due for one, It has been a while since the last. I do hope there is not too much lightning. Even though, I must admit, it can be rather _striking_.”

Her goal with the joke was to bring some levity back to the situation before whatever it was Sans wanted to tell her. Both of their previous emotional outbursts still left the room feeling a bit heavy, and she was attempting to lighten it the best way she knew how. Her attempts however seem to fall flat this time, as her friend offered no reaction to the joke at all.

That made her weary smile falter, if he wasn’t even going to pretend to be amused by her puns… that was not a good sign. She tried to think of something else to say, but those thoughts were halted as Sans spoke up again.

“t-tori, listen...” He rasped, voice rather raw sounding.

Toriel turned to look at him again, all attempted humor fading back into seriousness. This time, while he still did not meet her eyes, he did not hide himself from her again. Despite expecting the sight, her soul still clenched up when she saw all the tracks of tears stains on his face, made much more prominent on bone than they would be on flesh. To be fair though, her own face probably didn’t look much better.

His eye sockets were only barely open, so she could not see the lights of his eyes, but she reasoned that there would only be darkness there at the moment. She resisted the urge to comfort him for his sake, making sure she kept her expression even. She would be remiss not to give her full attention to what she was about to hear.

The skeleton shifted a bit into a more comfortable position facing her. He surprised her then by reaching over and pulling one of her paws towards himself to hold against his chest. He then curled his phalanges around it, keeping it in place. After a moment, she understood that it was an act of apology on his part for upsetting her earlier.

She bit back the words of reassurance she wanted to give him, feeling as though they would not placate him now. She settled for happily allowing the gesture, feeling the magic of his soul thrumming beneath her paw. Sans’ expression did not change, but she felt the tension in his body lessen by degrees.

He took a deep breath before speaking again, closing his sockets fully.

“this is going to be rough t, okay?” He croaked out nervously. “you know what i said before, about worrying whether you’d believe me? well… this is the part i’m most worried about…”

Toriel felt the now familiar sense of dread pooling within her soul, and she nodded in acknowledgment.

“I understand.” She murmured. “But please remember what I promised you, I will believe you my friend. I trust you.”

Sans expression softened just a bit at that, and he gave her paw a little squeeze. When he didn’t immediately reply though, she went on, voice growing somber again.

“Is… is what you wish to tell me… the reason why you were so hurt by what I said before?” She asked.

He stiffened but after another deep breath he forced a nod.

“yah…”

His eye sockets reopened a bit and a pained false grin spread across his face.

“heh…okay. i-i’d better start talking… there’s a lot to get through with this and i’m probably not gonna be able to stay focused as well as before…” He admitted with a small renewed shudder. “it’s been a… _really_ long time since i tried to tell anyone about the rese-“

His words were abruptly cut off as a bright flash filled the room, followed by a great boom of thunder. Toriel jumped, some of her fur standing on end as she whipped around to look at the window. Sans went totally rigid, gripping her paw as tightly as he could to the point it almost hurt. That and the spike of fear she felt from his soul told him it had certainly taken him off guard too. As the deep rumbles trailed off and were replaced by the sound of heavy rain, Toriel recovered with a bit of a nervous laugh.

“G-goodness, it certainly got here fast, huh?”

Sans didn’t reply and she realized that the soft purple glow of the fire was no longer the only colorful light illuminating the room. Mixing with it was a now terribly familiar light blue and yellow. She quickly looked back down at her friend and sure enough, she found his left eyelight blazing back at her within now fully open sockets.

Concern re-gripped her soul. It wasn’t uncommon for his eyelight to flare up when he was taken off guard like this, but something in his gaze just wasn’t right. He didn’t look startled, he looked _terrified_. The shock from the light and sudden loud noise did not seem to be wearing off either. His death grip on her paw and the unyielding fear radiating from his soul could attest to that. It was if he were frozen, his burning eyelight unseeing as he waited for… something.

“Sans, what is wrong?” Toriel asked uncertainly, trying to meet his gaze and giving him a small shake when she found him unresponsive.

Her words appeared to have little effect at first, but then he blinked and looked towards the window. He flinched as another flash of lightning blinded them both, but Toriel could feel the momentary panic gripping his soul beginning to wane. As the resulting boom of thunder lightly shook the home, he huddled back towards her and covered his face with his free hand. A humorless wheeze of laughter escaped him and his grip on her finally loosened a bit.

She eyed him nervously, quick to voice her concerns again as she held him close and instinctively turned them both from the window.

“My friend, what is it? Is…” She paused, trying to word the question carefully. “Is the storm… frightening you?”

She doubted that was the case, Sans had proven many times over that he was a monster of science. It was unlikely something as easily explained as a thunderstorm would scare him so badly. Though it was true that many monsters had found them quite petrifying when they’d first arrived on the surface. Something so jarring and loud would be a difficult thing to adjust to for anyone who hadn’t dealt with them before. It had even taken her a while to become used to them again.

Still, this situation felt different. She’d been through storms with him before and he’d never acted this way. He’d taken a while to become accustomed to them like everyone else yes, but he usually even seemed to enjoy them nowadays. Even though this one was a great deal more severe than usual, his reaction just didn’t make sense to her. She wasn’t sure if she felt relieved or even more worried when he shook his head in reply, validating her suspicions.

“n-no, no it’s not that…” He rasped, breathing heavily as he tried to reign in his magic again. “it’s just… that light. it… i thought it… it was…”

He trailed off, shaking with another weak, empty chuckle. The light of his still flaring eyelight seeped through his phalanges.

“it always g-goes white like that before e-everything…”

This time when he stopped, it seemed far more deliberate. Soon the only sound from him was his unsteady breathing.

“Before everything… what?” Toriel asked, unable to keep herself from doing so.

Another flash of lightning and rolling boom of thunder followed her words, eliciting another harsh flinch from the skeleton. He recovered with a rough curse under his breath and an involuntary shudder. Her soul panged with sympathy and her mind began to race to figure out what she could do for the situation. She gave a quick glance towards the entrance to the hallway over her shoulder, an idea coming to her.

“Never mind it for now.” She soothed, lowering her voice. “How about we go into my bedroom until this all passes? We can shut the curtains in there and I tend to find that the noise from storms like this is not as bad."

Sans didn’t reply right away, and she watched and gently rubbed his arm until his eyelight finally went out entirely. With it, his soul seemed to settle again as well, to the point he was only slightly affected from the next inevitable burst of lightning from outside. Instead, it only left him looking frustrated and oh so tired as he slowly let his hand drop from his face.

“a-alright…” He relented, before finally meeting her gaze again. “but still, i n-need to tell you- “

A new sound cut him off this time, prompting them both to turn and look towards where it had come from. Toriel could scarcely believe what she had heard and didn’t fully react until it came again. Though muffled by the rumbles of thunder and the pounding rain, the sound was distinct and was one both of them knew very well. It was the sound of someone knocking on the door.

“Who the hell- “ Toriel caught herself, biting her lip briefly. “ _heck_ could be here at this hour?”

She looked between the direction of the door and Sans with indecision, only stopping when he spoke up again.

“go on t-tori, it’s probably important.” He croaked, voice dull.

Toriel frowned, not liking the defeat in his tone. It made the urge to ignore the now slightly more insistent knocking all the stronger. He seemed to notice her expression and gave her paw a squeeze before letting it go with the ghost of a smile.

“i’ll be fine, go ahead.” He attempted to reassure her, shifting off her lap to sit back on the couch beside her.

She still didn’t feel good about leaving him, considering all that had just happened. But he was right, if someone was knocking on her door at this hour, in the middle of a storm… It could be something serious. As another lightning flash lit the room, Toriel grabbed the throw blanket that had been pushed aside and laid it over him as she began to get to her feet.

“Just rest here for now, maybe lie down for a bit.” She said, setting his water bottle beside him as well. “I will handle whatever is going on. Do not hesitate to let me know if you need anything.”

She was aware then just how much of her motherly tone had crept back into her voice there. Thankfully, Sans did not seem at all bothered by it, even displaying a brief twinkle of amusement in his eyelights despite his obvious vexation. He responded with a small nod and settled into the blanket with a shaky sigh.

Toriel forced herself to turn away, quickly heading to the window to shut the blinds before going to the door. It wouldn’t keep the flashes from the lightning out entirely, but she hoped it would help him feel a bit more at ease. Her paws skidded a bit on the tile of the kitchen floor as she entered the room and she had to right herself with another unbidden curse. The knocking continued until she reached the door where she clumsily fumbled with the locks with her large paws before finally yanking it open.

The sight that met her made a terrible chill run down her spine. Of all the people who could have been there, monster, human or otherwise. It just had to be _him_.

Towering in the doorway, sopping wet and sporting a terribly nervous grin… was her ex-husband, king of monsters, Asgore Dreemurr.

For a moment she could only stare, feeling the fur on the back of her neck stand up and her grip on the door handle tighten. Stars above, she was not prepared to deal with this tonight. She had mused to herself before that Sans may indeed be cursed to perpetual misfortune by whatever higher power may or may not govern their universe. Now, she supposed she must also have drawn the ire of this potential deity. Why did it have to be him? Now, of all times?

“G-Good evening Toriel.” Asgore stammered weakly, wringing his massive paws together. “Or um, perhaps I should be saying good morning at this point… Ha ha…”

“Dreemurr…” She responded flatly, continuing to drill him with a questioning, withering glare.

“S-so sorry to disturb you at this hour…” He went on quickly, tensing a bit as another boom of thunder shook the area. “I was out here when this storm blew in and, golly, it sure is a fierce one huh? I would have just called but I left my phone back at home and I saw you h-had a fire going and just figured someone was uh… awake?”

Her glare did not falter and her eyes narrowed as the implication of his words sunk in.

“And just what were you doing, outside my home, at 5 in the morning?!” She punctuated each part of the question with a pause, as she tried and failed to control her frustration.

The hulking boss monster waved his paws in a placating manner, trying to keep his smile in place.

“Sorry, I worded that badly… I simply could not sleep earlier and thought a walk to the park might clear my head. It was foolish of me not to check the weather beforehand and it was only by happenstance I was near here when the storm hit. I promise”

Toriel did not reply immediately, unable to stop sending glares his way. She knew he was telling the truth, it was obvious. She knew well what a terrible liar he was. Yet, she still struggled to quell the hot flames of anger burning at the back of her throat.

 _You’re being paranoid and ridiculous…_ Her mind told her, and she had to concede it was right.

She drew in a deep breath through her nose and let it out through her mouth with a small wisp of smoke before forcing herself to step aside.

“Come in.” She relented quietly.

Asgore did so, ducking his head so that his massive horns did not collide with the doorframe. Once inside, he turned to her with a small, thankful bow.

“Thank you, I apologize again for coming by so unexpectedly. I will head back as soon as the storm clears up.”

She did not respond, keeping her focus on shutting and re-locking the door. It closed and shut out the noise of the storm just as another great crash of thunder came from above. She lingered at the door facing away from him for a few moments more, trying to sort through her jumbled, irritable thoughts. Steeling herself, she eventually turned to meet his gaze. He was one of the few monsters for who she had to look upwards to address and it stirred an odd, uneasy feeling in her soul.

He blinked in minor surprise at the sight of her in the light, then his expression shifted to concern.

“Gosh, Tori- er Toriel, have… have you’ve been crying?” He asked.

She averted her gaze again with a huff, irate at the fact she had forgotten the poor state she was in. She crossed her arms firmly in front of her, keeping her stance strong.

“That is none of your concern.” She practically growled, her irritation overpowering her judgement once more.

He did not flinch at her reaction, more than used to such responses from her. He only looked saddened and awkwardly rubbed his arm.

“Yes… I suppose. My apologies. Though, if there is anything troubling you… I do hope you feel better soon.”

The genuineness of his tone only made Toriel’s skin crawl all the more, though she did her best not to show it. She was usually so much better at handling this. Typically, she had time to prepare herself for an encounter with Asgore, and she could at least work up the strength to appear pleasant and calm around him. But it seemed his sudden arrival on top of everything else was making that impossible. Despite her best efforts to control it, her soul continued to churn fiercely with anger.

She did manage to get her expression to soften though, if only for her own sake. Her eyes fell on the puddle his waterlogged clothes and fur were leaving on the floor, and she saw an opportunity to re-direct the conversation.

“You are soaking the tile.” She said dully, still not meeting his eyes. “Go into the laundry room and change. There are towels in there and… you can borrow one of my robes.”

Asgore’s expression immediately lit up at that, both his orange and blue eyes shining with gratitude. She hated how sick it made her feel, seeing him so happy because of something she’d said. She suppressed a shudder.

“Oh yes, of course. I greatly appreciate it.” He said with a warm smile, before heading towards the room in question.

Toriel only offered a small nod in reply, unmoving until he had left the room. Only then did she shakily collapse into one of the chairs at the kitchen table, cradling her head in her paws. She focused on calming her frayed nerves as best she could, breathing deeply as she sat there. That had gone badly on her end, there was no denying it. And now that she was alone again, the true shame of her behavior was settling in.

She had been trying so hard lately to find peace regarding Asgore. Forgiving him entirely was likely out of the question for her, but she had thought she’d been making progress towards accepting him on friendly terms again at least. Her deep seeded grudge and trauma regarding her ex-husband had been a thorn in the side of the family unit all of them had built up over the last year.

Everyone else was happy to forgive and forget when it came to the sins they’d all committed underground, including Asgore’s. She largely felt the same, hence why she had only fired Alphys for the incidents with the amalgamates instead of holding any true charges against her, as one example. Redemption and second-chances were typically ideas she believed in quite strongly. But with him it was different, and the others, especially Undyne, made sure to call out her hypocrisy. Some more kindly than others.

If she could just get along with him again, move past all this properly and not be so bitter… things would be so much better for everyone. But she just couldn’t, not yet at least. While she held no true hatred in her heart, the things he had done were just too personally devastating to her. Any time she felt she was close to being comfortable with him again, her mind would go back to the human children’s faces. And she’d see his paws… the paws that had once held her with loving intention… covered in their innocent blood. Sometimes she even thought she could hear their screams.

 _No no no do not think about it… Do not think about it._ Her mind screamed at her, forcing her to shake away those thoughts. If she got worked up over any of that now, this night would only go from bad to worse. She needed to be strong and get through this without blowing up further. She just had to. The storm continued to rage outside with another great boom of thunder, and its fury seemed to reflect the war of emotions occurring within her soul.

The soft sound of claws clinking against tile signaled Asgore’s return and she willed herself to straighten back up and drop her paws into her lap. The larger boss monster had chosen her dark purple robe with the white flower pattern to change into and his fur was quite mussed from towel drying. He was an almost comical sight, nothing about him would scream royalty to most. That made her unease around him feel all the more shameful.

He approached but kept some distance between them, giving another small inclination of his head in thanks.

“Thank you again Toriel.” He said simply, smile from before still in place. “I put my clothes in your dryer, I hope that’s alright.”

His comment made her aware of the slight hum of the dryer coming from the laundry room. As before, she only nodded in response, worried what biting words could escape her if she allowed herself to speak. The silence stretched on for a bit before Asgore clasped his paws together and straightened up a bit.

“How about I make some tea? To repay your hospitality. Do you, uh, still have the teabags I sent over with Frisk last week?” He asked, with only a touch of hesitation.

Toriel resisted the urge to sneer. Tea. It was always tea with him. Sometimes she wondered if her ex-husband truly thought all problems could be solved over tea. Despite her internal grumblings, she conceded with another nod.

“Yes, they are in the cupboard above the sink, in the little dish.” She replied softly, subconsciously kneading the fabric of her dress a bit beneath her claws.

Asgore was quick to go to the counter and retrieve the little bags in question, all crafted by his own paws and full of crushed up golden flowers from his personal garden. He set to work filling the teapot and lighting the stovetop with a small burst of orange fire magic. Meanwhile, Toriel watched through half-lidded eyes, pondering how the rest of the night, and quickly approaching day, was going to go. She was snapped out of her minor daze by the taller boss monster speaking up again.

“Is it just you here tonight Toriel?” He asked, carefully moving the now-full teapot over the small circle of flame. “I know Frisk and Flowey are at Kid’s party and Papyrus went with Undyne and Alphys to the beach near Ebott City, Yes?”

He paused, casually tapping his claws on the countertop as he left the pot to heat up.

“Is Sans off doing something as well?”

The question had an odd, knowing tone to it that she was not sure she liked, especially coming from him. Still, she drew a steadying breath and made herself reply.

“No… Sans is here, but he is… unwell at the moment. So, do try not to make too much noise. The storm is certainly not helping things.” She said, glancing briefly towards the living room.

She wondered how he was fairing. Had he managed to fall asleep again? With what had transpired earlier in the night, she highly doubted it. He likely was simply sitting there, alone and lost in his thoughts and frustrations over whatever it was he wanted so badly to tell her. Her soul panged briefly as she wished she could just forget Asgore and return to him. It was a childish thought surely, but it still furthered her own restrained frustration all the more.

“Ah I see, poor fellow, I do hope it’s nothing serious.” Asgore said, pausing briefly as another peal of thunder went off outside.

He went on again once the rumbling trailed off, and she could hear what sounded like a smile in his voice.

“If he has you here to care for him though, I am sure he will be just fine. He couldn’t have a better monster by his side.”

She blinked, not sure how to take those words. They still unsettled her, but in a way that was different than before. And that odd inflection to his voice was still there, warm and without a hint of dishonesty. Her brows furrowed now more in confusion rather than anger, but she still turned away again, not willing to say anything in return. Asgore didn’t seem to mind though and was content to let the silence between them stretch on as the water continued to boil.

It stayed that way for a few minutes more, until the teapot finally gave a shrill whistle. Asgore was quick to pull it off and put out the flames before the sound grew too loud though. He fetched two of her teacups and poured the steaming water into them with practiced skill. Then he set a tea bag into each to begin steeping, cradling both cups carefully in his massive paws. Toriel froze up a bit when he turned back to her, uncomfortable to have his gaze on her again. She did her best to relax and accept the cup from him without letting her paws tremble. She wasn’t fully successful, but he made no comment on the matter.

“Should be ready in a few minutes.” He said with a grin, before walking over to take a seat in the chair next to hers.

She tried not to recoil, but could feel her claws curl sharply inwards as his arm lightly brushed her own in the midst of him sitting down. She had to catch herself and retract them again to prevent damage to her teacup. The sight of the pale golden tea suddenly made her feel sick, but she swallowed hard and did her best not to show it. It felt as though his gaze was boring into her, even though she knew his expression would be gentle if she turned to look. Stars above, why did this have to be so hard for her?

Asgore cleared his throat softly before setting his cup on the table, she could see him turn his eyes away, as though aware of her unease. Another thunderous boom shook the house before he spoke again.

“So um… Frisk did wonderfully at the meeting last week.” He began, slowly wringing his paws together. “I am sure they told you but they really charmed the visiting officials, even connected with one woman on a deeper level through their signing. They get more confident in their role every time, not even the harsher questions gave them any pause.”

Toriel relaxed a bit at the mention of her child, their achievements as ambassador always bringing a warm feeling of pride to her soul. Her tired eyes glanced at him briefly, then back down at her tea.

“Yes… They did talk about it.” She replied softly, running a claw slowly down the handle of the teacup. “I am glad to hear that, I cannot help but worry sometimes that all this would be overwhelming for a child their age.”

Asgore let out a quiet rumble of laughter, but quickly composed himself again.

“So do I.” He admitted, absently running a paw through his beard. “Truly, during those first few meetings, I almost wished to dismiss them from their position amidst all the yelling and fear-mongering going on. But with just a bit of time, they took to the role like a fish to water. Now I don’t know what I’d do without them.”

She hummed in vague acknowledgment, eyes still glued on her cup. The tea had darkened to a deep golden color, signaling it was ready. Despite the faint nausea still lingering within her soul, she decided she may as have a little as a curtesy at least. She had already made an undignified embarrassment of herself enough tonight after all. She plucked out the teabag and set it aside on the table before taking a small sip.

It was delicious, as it always was, something about the taste instilling in her a sense of terribly bittersweet nostalgia. Good as it was though, the feelings it brought up were a bit too raw for her to handle at the moment. She set the teacup back on the table, willing her soul to settle within her. Asgore sipped his own tea beside her, letting out a content sigh once the cup left his lips. The silence after set her mind racing again.

Part of her almost wanted to ask him about the things Sans had told her. Would the name Dr. Gaster ring any bells, despite her friend’s insistence no one could remember him? Did any remnants of the experiments the skeleton brothers were part of still exist in the king’s mind? Would he even tell her the truth if she asked in the first place? No matter what the answer might be, her promise to keep Sans’ secrets to herself kept her mouth shut tight. But remembering all the suffering her friend had endured due in part to Asgore’s negligence made her red eyes darken with rage, further fueling the anger burning within her soul.

Asgore’s soft expression dulled a bit when he noticed her negative shift of emotions, and she turned away further in response. When he spoke again, his tone was more serious.

“Toriel… I… I know you said it was none of my concern but…”

She tensed, expression tightening in anticipation of what she knew was coming. Her impulse was to interrupt him as before, but she couldn’t find the strength.

“I can tell you were upset by something before I got here… If something is wrong… if there is anything I can do to help, I’d like very much to do so.” He said, clearly trying to be careful with his words.

But no amount of compassion on his part could overpower her nerves it seemed. Frustration and unease flooded through her soul again, activating her fight or flight response. Flight was the only reasonable choice here.

“No, I am fine. I do not require any of your help.” She managed stiffly, pushing back her chair from the table.

The utter hypocrisy of the statement burned on her tongue, but she didn’t let that stop her from starting to get to her feet again. She didn’t know where she was going, but she knew she had to get away from him. If she didn’t, she wasn’t sure how much longer she could stay level-headed about the situation.

Before she could stand up fully though, Asgore moved to try to stop her, voice plaintive.

“Toriel, please, don’t.” he implored, quickly reaching out a paw to grip her arm. “I only wish to- “

If he said more, she didn’t hear it. For the moment his paw curled around her wrist, pure panic gripped her soul like an iron vice. All she could see was blood. Dark, cold blood dripping down from his claws to stain her white fur. The human children’s blood… _her_ children’s blood.

“Do not touch me!” She outright shouted, recoiling back several feet and holding her paw against her chest.

Another boom of thunder shook the house mere seconds after the words left her mouth. Neither boss monster moved.

Toriel trembled in place, realization of what she’d just done setting in as her momentary panic faded. She ducked her head, drawing in deep, shaky breaths. Part of her wished she could just turn to dust on the spot.

“Toriel… I…” Asgore’s voice shook with regret and she didn’t have to look at him to know the pain in his eyes.

The sound of him slowly standing from his chair caused her to stiffen once more. She was about to bolt, perhaps run to her room like the pathetic coward she was. But she stopped when an odd bit of spacial distortion and flash of blue light lit up the space in front of her. To her utter surprise, Sans appeared in that spot the moment the flash faded.

He was in his usual pose, hands in his jacket pockets, but his posture was stiff, almost… confrontational. His hood was back up over his skull too, surely shrouding his face in shadow from Asgore’s point of view. He looked up at the hulking boss monster without a hint of intimidation, despite the massive difference in size.

“heya fluffybuns.” He said, voice surprisingly strong, if still husky from exhaustion. “everything alright in here?”

His tone was akin to his usual casualness, but there was an element of anger there too, just beneath the surface. Toriel could only blink down at him in silent shock, unsure of what to make of the situation. Asgore seemed equally perplexed, tilting his head slightly as he looked down at the small skeleton.

“Oh, howdy Sans…” He managed after a moment, forcing a weak smile. “Sh-should you really be up? Toriel told me you weren’t well… and golly… I suppose she’s right.”

Sans shrugged his shoulders, but the gesture wasn’t as loose as it usually was.

“eh, i had a bad day and got totally wasted, no biggee. it happens.” He replied, before his tone grew more serious. “but you didn’t answer my question, didya, your highness? what the hell did you just do?”

Asgore looked mildly stunned by the gall behind Sans’ question and even Toriel felt her brows raise. Even with as approachable and benign a ruler as Asgore was, she’d never heard anyone speak to him that way before. The monster king opened and closed his mouth a few times before answering, expression shifting to shame once more.

“I… I did something I should not have.” He admitted softly, sorrowful eyes peering down at Sans. “I grabbed her wrist on impulse, only because I wished to continue speaking with her. That is all. I promise.”

His eyes lifted and landed on Toriel again. She managed not to turn away this time, meeting his gaze nervously.

“I am so sorry Toriel… You must know I did not intend to upset you. I… I meant what I said. I just wish to help.”

She set her jaw, unable to will herself to reply or do much of anything really. Her eyes were drawn downwards as Sans turned to look back at her. His eyelights were sharp, but softened as they focused on her.

“is that the truth, tori? you okay?” He asked, portraying the question as much with his gaze as with his voice.

She swallowed, still reeling from what was happening. Was Sans… defending her? That had to be it. He had heard her outburst and had come to her aid. As ridiculous as it might appear for such a small monster to be sticking up for another more than double his size, and facing down a monster nearly three times no less, the intention behind his actions was sinking in.

Despite the embarrassment she felt at it all, his act of care made her soul feel warm and it calmed within her. She let out a breath she had unknowingly been holding and managed a weary nod.

“Yes, I am fine… I just…” She rasped, pausing a moment to gain control over her shuddering. “I o-overreacted, I… apologize.”

The last part came out far quieter and with more hesitation. Saying those words to Asgore felt so wrong somehow, but she forced herself not to think about it, lest she make a fool of herself again. The other boss monster’s eyes softened with relief, but his frown remained.

“Oh, please, don’t, you have nothing to apologize for… I should have known better than to…” He trailed off, great shoulders sagging.

Sans looked between the two for a moment, before the hint of anger in his expression melted away. He relaxed and put on one of his usual large, fake grins before walking back over to Toriel. That smile faltered a bit when he met her eyes again though. He looked up at her with sympathy and was sure to give her some space. She appreciated his consideration, even though she would have been fine having him close at this point. Hell, she kind of wished for it. Somehow, she managed a weak smile back down at him, hoping it communicated her gratitude.

That smile was quickly dashed though when Asgore took a small step closer, perhaps thinking she would be okay with it now. But it caused her to stiffen again and she could tell Sans noticed. Before the other boss monster could take another step towards her, Sans turned around and put himself between them. His tone kept that same feigned casualness as before, but his stance was firm in its intention.

“y’know asgore, i really think the best way for you to help right now is to maybe take your tea and go cozy up by the fire. You look like someone really _dampened_ your spirits.” He quipped, grin widening a bit at the pun.

No one laughed at his joke, though Toriel did feel her lips twitch upwards a bit.

“obviously me and tori aren’t feeling so hot, so we’re probably gonna crash for the night… er morning heh heh. you might want to do that too, storm probably won’t let up completely for another few hours. i’d recommend the couch, totally a ten outa ten on the comfyness scale.”

Another rumble of thunder, somewhat softer now, shook the walls around them as Asgore stared down at the small skeleton. For a moment, a bit of defiance flashed in his eyes. But when he glanced back at Toriel, all his strength seemed to drain from him, leaving his expression hollow.

“I understand...” He murmured, hanging his head. “Very well, rest well then, both of you.”

Toriel blinked, a touch confused but nonetheless relieved when her ex-husband finally turned away, freeing her from his attention at last. As he headed back to the table and silently picked up the two cups of tea, her attention was drawn back to Sans. The skeleton walked up somewhat hesitantly and motioned for her to follow him. She did, still feeling somewhat dazed by the whole experience. He spoke to her again in a near whisper as they stepped back into the living room.

“sorry if i kinda… spoke over you there tori.” He apologized, letting his false grin fall. “when i heard you yell like that i just… i dunno… you looked so shook up. it seemed like you needed an excuse to get out of there.”

It took a moment for her to re-focus her thoughts again enough to reply. As she steadied herself, the exhaustion and stress from before became visible in Sans’ expression once more as they left Asgore behind them. Her friend’s acting ability impressed and saddened her all over again. She struggled to find the right words.

“It is alright.” She managed, stopping at the side of the couch and laying her paw on her purse. “I… appreciate what you did. I was… not myself for a bit there. Thank you.”

“no prob tori.” He replied in turn and she could see him stifle a yawn. “just glad you’re okay… i thought for a second he might’ve…”

His words trailed off and a few beads of sweat dotted his skull. She could see a range of emotions flash through the lights of his eyes before he shook his head and composed himself again.

“nevermind… heh. it’s not important.”

Toriel caught on to what he was implying. She knew she should say something insisting Asgore would never do anything like that to her, if only to be honest. But she kept her mouth shut, not fully sure as to the reason why. Somewhat feeling like she was on autopilot, she gathered up her purse and the water bottle off the couch. She gave a glance at Sans’ still uneaten food on the table, along with the slice of pie.

“Do you… feel up to eating anything now, my friend?” She asked.

Sans grimaced a bit and shook his head, eyelights wavering a bit.

“nah, sorry, still not ready to risk that again. ol’ flufflybuns can have it, should help cheer him up.” He said, doing his best to smile a bit at the end.

She nodded, leaving the plates of food behind as she headed towards the hallway to her bedroom, Sans following along behind her. Something within her made her glance over her shoulder back one last time. Asgore was standing at the sink, staring down at where he had poured the rest of the boiling water down the drain. His thick, unkempt mane shrouded his eyes from her, but she could imagine what sort of look would be in them. She turned away again as another thunderclap sounded from outside. The vibrations from it seemed to echo deep within her soul.

The two arrived at her room in silence, simply standing in the middle of the space for a while. The rain and trailing rumbles of thunder were the only sounds to be heard. Then something of a wordless agreement passed between the two. Toriel deposited the items in her paws on the side table before heading to her bathroom to change and get properly ready for bed, despite the fact dawn would be coming just an hour or so. Sans vanished with a shortcut off to his own room to do the same, leaving her alone for a bit.

She went about her usual routine in a daze. She changed into one of her favorite nightgowns, a silky pale purple one with a subtle white swirl pattern near the bottom. Then she brushed her teeth, especially her fangs, all the while trying not to look at her haggard, miserable appearance in the mirror. The few glimpses she’d been unable to avoid made her soul clench up within her.

Once finished, she collapsed face first onto her large bed, a queen sized one, rather ironically. She stayed there feeling both exhausted and wide awake all at once, until a flash of light beside her signaled her friend’s return. He appeared on the bed at her side, now wearing a simple dark gray NASA T-shirt and a pair of shorts that looked basically the same as before. Well the white stripe was horizontal now instead of vertical, but still, he could use a wardrobe expansion. The skeleton regarded her pose on the bed with a weary, amused grin.

“man, guess we’ve both hit a new pil- _low_ huh tori?” he chided, leaning his skull on his hand.

Perhaps just for the timing, the joke prompted a snort of amusement from her, but she still threw said pillow at his face. He responded with a soft wheeze of laughter, holding the pillow to his chest as she sat up to properly get under the covers. Sans watched her, a touch of hesitation forming on his features until she gave the spot on the bed beside her a few inviting pats. Only then did he slip under the blankets as well, looking quite small amongst her somewhat oversized bed fixings.

They kept some distance between each other, both rolling on their backs to stare up at the ceiling. They slipped back into silence for a bit, listening to the sounds of the storm before Sans finally spoke up again.

“you okay?” He asked simply, tone genuine.

“Not really…” She admitted, a sad smile gracing her face. “But, I am getting there… How about you?”

“heh, i’m don’t think i’m ever really okay.” He admitted right back, eyelights wavering like candle flames in the darkness. “but i’d like to think i’m at least better now than i was earlier.”

He paused, turning to face her with an apologetic expression. She rolled over to meet his gaze as well, one of her long ears falling over her shoulder.

“sorry about that by the way. You finally get to talk a little about you and I screw everything up again and make the whole thing about my own problems… again” He said, words brimming with self-hatred.

Toriel reached out and searched with her paw for his hand in the darkness. Once she found it, she cradled it in her fingers, rubbing her thumb pad over his knuckle bones. He accepted the act, expression softening a bit.

“Do not worry about it.” She murmured warmly in reply. “Life rarely happens in an orderly fashion. We will sort it all out in time, I am sure. And I am so sorry you did not get to talk about what has been troubling you so. We will make that the priority for once you feel ready to discuss it again.”

A flash of pain returned to his eyes and his jaw tightened as he seemed to remember his earlier frustration. Eventually though, he took a deep breath and relaxed again, closing his hand around her own.

“yah… okay.” He breathed softly.

They were both quiet again for a while, until Sans’ expression shifted into concern again.

“you gonna be alright with fluffybuns in the house?” He asked, giving her paw a gentle squeeze.

Toriel nodded. Truthfully knowing he was lurking out there in her home still sent faint chills through her soul. But with something… someone here to distract her, she knew it wouldn’t wrack her mind with worry as usual.

“Yes… I will be fine.” She assured him with a small smile. But she couldn’t maintain it long, as all her shame over what had just happened came rushing back. She averted her gaze and swallowed hard.

“I… really am sorry you had to see all that.” She said, voice faintly pained.

“nah, tori you know I’m the last person who’d judge you for that.” He said, giving her a wink followed by a somewhat sheepish grin. “also there are too many sorries in this conversation.” “we should bake them all into apolo- _pies_ ”

The pun summoned another true chuckle from her, returning the warmth to her eyes.

“Good one, though your diction needs some work there.” She teased.

Her tone became somber again after that, thoughts about her ex-husband spinning about through her head, but she kept her eyes locked with his this time.

“But seriously, I should tell you everything about Asgore at some point. I know you know the basics of my… issues with him. But there is a lot that… I have not really told anyone before. I suppose we-”

He raised his other hand to cut her off, grinning at her in a wearily playful manner.

“let me guess… we’ll get to that part eventually, right?”

The words caused her to laugh yet again, though it was more of a sarcastic one this time. Once the humor waned, she made a soft, affirmative sound her throat as a reply, eyelids drooping. Sans’ face grew blurry as her exhaustion began to win over her mind’s fretting. The feeling was incredibly welcome to her, but she still shook away the drowsiness again as best she could, remembering she needed to stay awake with him.

“geez, guess we’re both p-pretty damn messed up huh tori?” He asked, with the faintest tremble in his voice.

His question made her soul ache, but there was also some catharsis behind it for both of them. He had certainly come a long way in his honesty from the days of constantly repeating “i’m fine” as though on a loop. She liked to think she was getting better in that regard too.

“Yes… I suppose we are.” She murmured in reply, letting her own emotions coat her words as well.

For the second time that night, a silent communication seemed to pass between them. Almost in unison, they let go of the others hand only to shift so that they closed the distance between them to form a tight embrace. Toriel tucked Sans’ skull beneath her chin and held him close to her chest. He wrapped his arms around her as much as he could manage, his grip tight yet shaky. They shared no more words, just clung to one another as the storm began to die down outside.

Perhaps they both wept again, perhaps not. The pair were both so worn down by this point, that they could only cling to wakefulness for a short while afterward. There was little time to worry about the possibility of further nightmares terrorizing her friend again, or even the potential implications of them sharing a bed together like this for the first time in their lives. Sleep claimed them before any thought could be fully realized.

Outside, the storm eventually cleared, yielding the sky just as dawn began to break. The soft colors of the sunrise flowed over their sleeping forms. It was a beautiful day outside, birds were singing, flowers were blooming… Despite all the chaos of the earlier night, a sense of peace settled over the house as it welcomed the new day.

For now, anyway.

 

 

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((BEAUTIFUL fanart for [the spanish version](https://www.wattpad.com/640008594-ut-todas-estas-piezas-rotas-soriel-by-paddiefrog) of this chapter by Gabriella_Lu/Lau.))

 


	9. Threshold

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Halloween Eve~ Nothing too spooky here i'm afraid. Just a (mostly) more fluffy chapter before we get back into the heavier stuff. Hope you enjoy~ 
> 
> (Warnings for this chapter: mentions of child abuse)
> 
> Spanish version of this chapter translated by the wonderful Gabriella_Lu/Lau can be found here!: https://www.wattpad.com/641869830-ut-todas-estas-piezas-rotas-soriel-by-paddiefrog

Hours later, Toriel was the first to wake, but she remained still, eyes closed and lost in her thoughts for some time. Her dreams had been odd. Not unpleasant, but odd. Usually her sleep was dreamless, but this time there had been… something. It was already fading from the moment she’d stirred from sleep, but small flashes of it remained. She’d been a child again, sitting in a field of golden flowers beside her family’s castle on the surface with three others. Asgore’s younger self had been there, back then known to her as “Princey”, pouting as she tried to coerce him into making flower crowns with her. One of the others in the group was a prince as well, but a very different sort. Prince Adean, prince of humans had been by her side as well.

They had been much more into the activity, weaving the golden flowers into rings far more adeptly than her. In the dream, they had stood up at one point to try and place one of the crowns on Asgore’s head, resulting in a humorous scuffle. Back then, Asgore had been a much haughtier monster, leaving things like flower crowns to be scoffed at as undignified. Adean on the other hand, had been quiet yet mischievous, happily taking part in Toriel’s pranks whenever they visited. An image from later in the dream stood out in her mind. The human prince standing with their back to her, poncho flapping lightly in the breeze as they gazed at the distant shape of Mt. Ebott.

The rest of it was mostly a haze, but beyond the images of her former friend, later turned traitor, there was one other element that stood out. The third person who’d been in the dream with her. Asgore and Adean were faces she knew well and recognized instantly, but this other, they were just… odd. In the dream, she had looked over at them, about to ask how their own flower crown was coming along, but had frozen up at the sight of them.

They were a monster surely, but she only could tell that from the feelings of their nearby soul. Looking upon them… yielded nothing. Perhaps she caught the slightest glimpse of a hand anxiously fumbling with the flowers, or the glint of the sun shining off a rounded white head. But even that was uncertain, because looking upon this monster was like looking into an abyss, every moment her eyes had lingered on them it felt as though all her senses were being pulled away. They were there… but also not. Something yet nothing.

In some way, Toriel had felt as though she knew them. Their presence had been familiar, but the strange wrongness of their being there had overpowered the majority of those thoughts. Somehow, a name had formed on her lips and she was about to speak it when the whole world seemed to fracture and stutter. It was this that had stirred her from sleep, leaving her soul feeling cold within her as she woke. Now she was left to ponder, how much of that dream had been a conjured-up fantasy and how much of it was part of a memory?

Toriel shook herself from her musing as more of the dream faded, deciding not to dwell on it any more. Focusing on the past could wait, right now she needed to address the present. Everything from the previous night was flooding back, almost making her want to curl up and go back to sleep if only to escape from it all. She couldn’t do that though, with wakefulness came her worry and with her worry came wakefulness. Fretful thoughts and anxieties had already crept back in, forcing her mind back into full awareness.

She yawned before beginning to shift with the intent of sitting up, when something, or rather, someone, stopped her. In all her absent rumination, she had nearly forgotten about _that_ particular thing that had happened during the night’s storm. Her eyes finally opened fully and she took in her current situation, feeling her face heating up beneath her fur.

Sans was still fast asleep, snuggled up against her chest and continually lightly gripping at the fabric of her nightgown. She couldn’t see his face, but his soft, somewhat muffled snores floated up to her, vibrating faintly against her neck. Toriel’s large arms were wrapped snugly around him, and at some point in her sleep, she had folded and pulled her legs up so that she was essentially curled around him. Her soul fluttered nervously within her, both from self-consciousness and _that_ feeling returning in a rush. The conflicting emotions made her want to let go and pull away to save face, but she stayed still for the moment.

Her friend was sleeping so peacefully, far more so than he had when they had first returned home from Grillby’s. His soul was calm and the pulses of magic from it felt stable. This brought warmth to her own soul, as well as a hopeful thought. Perhaps he hadn’t been disturbed by nightmares again and had managed to rest the whole night… or the whole morning. She blinked, realizing just how bright the room was. They had fallen asleep again around dawn, meaning it was later in the day now, far later than she usually slept.

Perhaps this wasn’t such an encouraging sign after all then, since Sans usually could sleep okay in short bursts once the sun was up. Still, after everything that had happened, she was incredibly relieved to see him getting some proper rest. She really didn’t want to wake him, even though she knew she should be getting up and addressing the events of the night prior. She needed to check her phone to see if Frisk or Papyrus had left any messages, she needed to go clean up the mess they’d left in the living room, she needed to see if Asgore was still…

She suppressed a shudder. Well, perhaps she could wait a little longer to leave the room at least. Checking up on the others would be her priority for now. She lifted her head a bit and eyed her purse on the side table beside the bed. There was no way she could reach out and grab it in her current position, she’d have to move. Accepting that, she slowly and reluctantly tried to detach herself from her friend’s embrace. As she pulled her arms away though, something must have registered in him even in sleep, because his grip on her tightened and he held firm. Toriel blinked in response, pausing uncertainly. Clearly her friend had no intention of letting go, even if it was only the will of his unconscious mind. His reaction somehow prompted the softest of chuckles from her, finding the situation a touch sad, somewhat amusing and, admittedly, a little cute.

Still, she had to get up and she didn’t want to wake him or even potentially upset him by pulling away, so she’d just have to make do. Ever so carefully, she slipped an arm around him again, gently lifting him and beginning to ease herself into a slightly more upright position as she did so. She laid him on her stomach and rested his skull against her shoulder, keeping one arm securely looped around him. Thankfully, he did not stir, settling into the new position easily and loosening his grip again in contentment.

Toriel took a moment to take in and enjoy the warm feelings that came with being close to him. She was a naturally affectionate monster and she had not realized how much she had missed having someone to snuggle up with in this way. Frisk gave her no shortage of hugs and was cuddly as could be in general, but this was different and she knew it. The only other monster she’d ever held this way was potentially outside her room in the house right at that moment.

She abruptly broke from those thoughts, harshly reminding herself not to lose sight of the reality of the situation. They had only been driven to share her bed because of their mutual need for comfort after all that had happened. That was it. She needed to stop being so selfish with her thoughts, none of this was about her confused feelings, no matter how mutual they may or may not be. Now was not the time to worry about any of that.

Needing the distraction, she reached over and dug her phone from her purse. The first thing she checked was the time. 1:30pm. She grimaced a bit at that, she’d certainly be paying the price from this ruining of her sleep schedule come Monday. As she suspected, she was also greeted with a screen full of text messages and a few pictures she’d been sent as well. She thanked the stars once she confirmed none were urgent, letting out a sigh of relief and beginning to thumb through the pictures in a casual manner.

As requested, Frisk had sent her a picture of them and Kid happily posing together in their matching striped ponchos. Flowey was in the picture as well, his pot being held by Frisk as he scowled in irritation at the two other children. There was a message below it, prompting a gentle smile to form on her face.

From: Frisk -_-

Hi Mom! Kid opened their present from me today! They love it!! :D They say thank you to you too for making them. We are going to wear them today and to school on Monday. Text you later, we are going to go swimming! Love you!

Toriel kept up the smile as she typed out a simple reply and sent it back, wishing them well and commenting on how adorable they both looked in their matching outfits. Then she looked through the pictures from Papyrus, of which there were quite a lot, sent to both hers and Sans’ phone it seemed. One showed the skeleton sitting on an inflatable raft while Undyne swam underneath. The next displayed the outcome of the situation, with the fish monster bursting out from under the water and flinging the raft, and Papyrus, high into the air. Papyrus left no comment on these pictures but had added an irritated looking emoji face under it. (>:/)

The next set showed some candid shots of Undyne and Alphys kissing and nuzzling one another while sitting on the boardwalk. The comment from Papyrus indicated he’d taken them in secret, complete with a winky face emoji. (;D) The rest were snapshots of the three doing various activities, like burying Papyrus in the sand, sunbathing with sunglasses on, eating smores by a campfire on the sand, posing in front of a big statue of a fish… only to have Undyne suplexing said statue in the next shot. It certainly seemed that they were having a good time.

The final thing he’d sent was just a normal text message, only an hour or so ago. She happily opened it, but felt her blush returning as her eyes ran over the words. She thanked the stars that it had only been sent to her.

From: Papyrus :D

THAT WAS A CRAZY STORM LAST NIGHT! WOWIE!! HOPE YOU BOTH STILL SLEPT OKAY! THANKS AGAIN FOR LOOKING AFTER MY BROTHER, SORRY FOR HIS BEHAVIOR, I HOPE HE APOLOGIZED. THOUGH I FEEL FROM OUR CALL LAST NIGHT YOU TOOK MY ADVICE ON GIVING HIM LOTS OF HUGS! (AUDIBLE WINK) ;D I AM SORRY TO TELL YOU… HE CAN’T KISS YOU BACK. NYEH HEH HEH! HOPE HE IS FEELING BETTER TODAY! CALL YOU BOTH LATER!

Toriel blinked, blush intensifying until it turned the tips of her ears red. With her current situation and all the trouble she’d just gone to to stop thinking about _that_ , she once again felt as though the heavens were looking down at her and laughing. Sans nuzzling a bit closer in his sleep in that moment only made it worse. It took a lot of willpower to get herself to focus again.

When she was able to finally gain control over her flustered reaction, she tapped out a reply with a claw. She thanked him for the pictures and noted that she hoped they all had fun, also reassuring him Sans was doing better, not wanting to lie completely… As for reacting to that last part, she only acknowledged it with an emoji that looked very much like Frisk’s usual face. ( -_- ) What else could she say to that? Making a show of denial would only fuel the fire more. It was clear her little slip up last night wasn’t going to be forgotten by Papyrus or the others anytime soon. She sent the reply with a defeated sigh, cheeks still feeling warm.

She was about to shut the phone off for a while, when she noticed she’d still left one message unread. It was from Undyne.

From: Undyne >( o3o)

Heard about what happened last night. Asgore called from your house phone, he tried to play it off but he sounded pretty upset. Y’know, it would mean a lot to him if you let him hang out at your place for the rest of the weekend. I wanted him to come with us but he didn’t want to leave before his new fancy patch of dahlias bloomed… frickin softie. I know he’s lonely though, I hate leaving him at the house by himself. I know you got liked… freaked out or something last night and I’m sorry about that. But just think about it, alright? It might be good for the both of you to talk things out for once.

The words made caused an uneasy chill to return to her soul. The fish monster’s request was well meaning enough, but that didn’t stop it from making her feel vaguely sick. No, she couldn’t do that. She just couldn’t. After last night, she wasn’t sure she could stand to face him for a while. Having him stay the whole weekend in this situation would destroy her already fragile nerves. She just couldn’t handle it, not now. Besides, she had other things that required her attention far more to deal with.

Despite her conviction, she still felt raw, painful guilt well up inside her, but she settled on her decision. If it came down to it, she could deal with the fish monster’s inevitable anger later. She left the message with no reply, shutting off the phone for now and putting it back in her purse.

After letting her emotions settle back down for a while and Sans still showed no signs of waking up, she decided to spend some time adding to her page of notes in her diary. There were a fair few new things to add. The details he’d revealed about the experiment his nightmare had been about, the cracks in and poor state of his soul, the questions hinting at the terrible core reason for his despair that he had not gotten to speak about. With that part in particular, she purposely left a large space open below it for, saving it for when she finally learned the truth behind it. She was both glad and nervous that that would likely be happening very soon.

Once finished, she shut the diary and put it away, leaning back into the pillows behind her with another soft sigh. She remained like that, staring dully up at the ceiling fan and running a paw gently up and down Sans’ back as she tried to sort through her thoughts. After a while of this though, Sans began to finally stir. He shifted slightly and lifted his skull, looking around in a confused, sleepy haze. He sat back a bit, probably in an attempt to figure out what, or in this case, who, he was sitting on. As he did, their gazes met and realization began to set in on his face.

His sockets widened and his breath caught with a quiet sound before, like a mirror for her own reaction, his cheekbones flushed a bright cyan color. He began to sweat a bit, looking terribly nervous as he appeared to try to find something to say, but his drowsy mind had clearly not caught up with him yet. Toriel giggled softly, deciding to spare him and break the silence herself.

“Good afternoon lazybones.” She teased, adjusting a bit to a more comfortable position.

He blinked a few times and let out a yawn before responding back, managing to relax a bit.

“heh, a-afternoon tori… um…” He averted his droopy sockets, grin widening nervously. “forgot that i slept in here heh heh... no wonder i thought my bed was suspiciously cozy.”

Despite his nerves, he made no move to get off of her and she had no mind to make him. She was glad to see he was getting comfortable with the idea of being close with her like this, even if it still left him quite flustered most of the time. It seemed that deep down, he really enjoyed it as much as she did, even if he would not be as quick to admit it. Her sleepy smile widened, and she raised a brow at him.

“Well your own bed might not be so uncomfortable if you didn’t shove your dirty laundry beneath the mattress. Or actually properly put the sheets on it.” She chided in a playful tone.

His grin turned sheepish and he shrugged a bit.

“eh, point taken i guess.”

His expression sobered up a little after that as it seemed that the events from the previous night were coming back to him. His eyelights dulled slightly as he moved to try and put his hands in his pockets, but realized he wasn’t wearing his hoodie. He settled for crossing his arms tightly in front of him with a soft sigh, suddenly looking a touch self-conscious. Toriel gently pulled him a little closer with a warm smile, encouraging him to lean against her. She sensed it was what he wanted, but did not have the nerve to ask for. That very much seemed to be a trend with them.

Sans never asked for the comfort she offered him. If she didn’t move to invite him in, he would never ask no matter how much he may want it, or how much it would help. While she was quite the opposite, perhaps being too willing to give and accept physical comfort to remedy any situation. She supposed this would get better for him in time, he was already putting a lot of trust in her, perhaps he’d be ready to more openly ask her for reassurance once they got through this. Until then, she’d make an effort to be ready to offer it to him should he need it.

He settled against her gratefully, relaxing much more once she slipped her arms around him again. He was quiet for a bit before letting out a sleepy, humorless chuckle.

“so… last night was pretty intense huh?”

She frowned, then nodded weakly.

“Yes… it certainly was.”

That was all she could say, finding the idea of recounting any of the specifics pointless at this point. She decided to change the subject for the moment, wanting to focus her attention back on her friend’s wellbeing.

“How are you feeling Sans? Did you have any more nightmares?” She asked.

He tensed a bit, but then slowly conceded with a nod.

“i’m doing okay t, just a lil bit of a headache still. no biggee. and well… yah i kind of did. it wasn’t anything terrible, didn’t even really wake me up… it was just… disturbing and weird.” He admitted, tapping his phalanges against her arm.

Toriel blinked, the few bits of her own dream she could recall flashing back to her.

“I actually had an odd dream as well.” She replied, furrowing her brows. “Though I can scarcely remember any of it…”

He met her words with another soft, bitter laugh.

“heh, what i wouldn’t give to forget my nightmares when i wake up. would sure make things a helluva lot easier.” He said in a weary voice, though she didn’t miss the bit of pain in it.

His words made her soul clench tightly with sympathy. Without thinking, she leaned down and gave his cheekbone a gentle nuzzle. He stiffened for a moment, but then allowed it, going a little blue in the face again. It did seem to ease some of the tension from him, so she did her best not to let her surprise at her own boldness overwhelm her.

“I am so sorry, my friend.” She soothed, voice warm. “Do you wish to talk about it?”

She felt him clench and unclench his phalanges against her arm, eventually going on in a softer voice.

“it… it would be really hard to explain without me telling you about the… y’know…” He trailed off, clearly holding back a specific word in particular.

Toriel nodded with understanding, her grip on him tightening ever so slightly.

“I see, alright.” She responded, before drawing in a deep breath to mentally prepare herself for what she planned to say next. “Are you… still ready to talk about… that?”

The tension in his body returned and Toriel felt his soul begin to give off subtle waves of fear. He stayed silent for a what felt like a very long time before he nodded.

“yah… i… i am.” He answered softly, before straightening up a bit and flashing her a sheepish grin. His mood and tone abruptly shifted then back to his usual laid-back demeanor.

“but uh… before we do that. sorry but… i’m so freaking hungry. i could eat a skele- _ton_ of burg right about now. wanna go to grillby’s?”

She blinked, surprised by his sudden shift in tone, but managing a small smile back at him, sympathetic to his plight. Now that he mentioned it, she felt her own soul giving off hunger pangs. Seems that toast with snails she had had earlier had only sustained her so long. It would certainly do them little good to discuss something so weighty without properly restoring their magic levels first.

“Oh! that is right, you have not eaten since lunch yesterday and even then… gosh. I agree, we should both have a good meal before we go forward with this… But…”

She trailed off and wagged a finger disapprovingly.

“Not Grillby’s, you were just there last night and I promised your brother I would get you to eat something besides greasy fast food.”

Sans feigned disappointment, perhaps purposely overplayed a bit for comedic effect.

“aww come on tori… i’m starving… and i didn’t even eat anything last time i was there.” he protested, though something in his voice told her he knew he wasn’t going to convince her.

He tapped two phalanges together nervously as he went on.

“plus… i dunno. i thought we could go, like, together this time?”

There was an odd inflection behind those words, something that caused him to blush lightly once more and avert his eyelights a bit. Her expression must have given away her surprise because he quickly rushed to amend his statement, now sweating quite a lot.

“eh, uh, i-i mean y-y’know everyone there would r-really like to get to know ya! l-l-like the dogi yesterday! you haven’t officially m-met most of the grillby’s crew right? i-it might be fun… heh heh heh…”

Toriel did her best to suppress her laughter at his expense, covering her muzzle with a paw as she snorted into it. She knew it was a little mean to laugh, but she found she just couldn’t help it. Quickly though, she composed herself and faced him again with a wide smile.

“It does sound fun, and another day, perhaps tomorrow, I would be happy to go with you.” She assured him, scarlet eyes twinkling.

She projected a somewhat stern expression back on to her face though, not backing down from her earlier statement.

“But not today, alright? I will prepare us something. I have lots of ingredients here that I need to use while they are still fresh. Do you have any requests, my friend?”

He met her question with a weak smile of defeat, followed by one that was a bit more genuine as he considered her question.

“alright, you win. and well uh… gee, everything you make is great tori, you know that. and i’m not really picky about food. so why don’t you just… surprise me?”

Toriel accepted with a nod and a pleased “Very well” before she began to move to get up. She abruptly paused though as her eyes fell on the door and she remembered just who might be out there waiting for her. A chill ran down her spine just at the thought of facing him again and her soul’s magic churned with conflicting emotion. Sans clearly noticed her sudden tenseness and lightly touched her arm to get her attention.

“hey…uh want me to check and see if ol fluffybuns is still here?” He asked, tone still laid back but tinged with understanding.

Her throat tightened with embarrassment, hating that her unease was so plainly visible. But there was no point in denying it now. She met his gaze nervously.

“W-well… if… If you would not mind…” She said finally, eyes dulling a bit.

Sans flashed her a reassuring smile before reaching up and giving her a pat on the muzzle with his bony hand.

“no prob tori, i _nose_ it’ll make things easier for ya.”

She scrunched her short snout a bit in response, puzzled but unable to keep the pun from drawing a smile to her face. A light giggle escaped her and she quietly thanked him before he promptly vanished in a bright flash. Once alone, her long ears twitched slightly as she listened for any sign of noise in the house outside her room. Instinctively, she anticipated hearing the low rumble of Asgore’s voice, perhaps reacting to Sans’ sudden appearance, but it never came. The only sounds she could hear were the whir of the fan above her and the soft twittering of birds outside.

About a minute or so later, Sans reappeared on the bed beside her, landing skillfully on his feet. She looked over at him, expectantly, but trying to keep the anxiety off of her face. The skeleton’s relaxed expression made her feel a little better, but there was still a hint of something else in his eyelights that kept her on edge.

“the king’s outta the castle.” Sans announced with a grin, shooting her a wink.

When she looked at him in mild confusion, he cleared his metaphorical throat and clarified with a more apologetic smile.

“ah, i mean he’s gone. he left. heh heh.”

The hint of whatever she’d glimpse in the light of his eyes intensified then, revealing itself to be a touch of guilt, maybe even pity.

“he left a note on the table, lotsa apologizing and all, heh. it also looks like he kinda cleaned the whole place, especially the living room. and he put some fresh flowers in all the vases, took out the trash, even cleaned out the fireplace. Its looking… pretty nice out there.”

Toriel groaned deeply in response to his words, putting her face in her paws. Exasperation, frustration and guilt pricked sharply at her soul. Of course, of course Asgore had went to such extremes to apologize for what had happened. Why would she expect anything less? He always acted this way. But his genuine attempts to make her feel better always just increased her guilt over everything. At least he was gone now and she didn't have worry about having to speak with him face to face for a while. She let out a sigh and dropped her paws back into her lap.

“You must think me such a bitter old thing.” She said to Sans with a sad smile.

The skeleton shook his head, grin turning more into a grimace. He hesitantly laid a hand on her arm again, unable to reach up to place it on her shoulder without it looking gratuitous.

“nah, tori its not exactly a simple situation.” He said sympathetically. “i don’t think you really hate the guy or want things to be this rough between you two. i don’t even think its really your fault… i think you have uh… well… d-don’t take this the wrong way but… it seems to me you have like… ptsd? kinda?”

His tone was uncertain as he said that last part and Toriel couldn’t help but blink at him with wide eyes. His words brought all kinds of feelings to her soul, threatening to bubble up and overwhelm her. But she managed to stay calm and keep her gaze locked with his, tilting her head a bit as she waited for him to go on.

“i’m no expert on this stuff by any means, of course.” He continued, waving his hands a bit in a dismissive manner. “but… i know what it looks like from uh, well… personal experience, heh.”

His expression shifted to become a touch serious and he tapped a phalange against the side of his skull in a deliberate manner.

“it seems like maybe your mind connects your… well… trauma about what happened to your kids to fluffybuns. for uh, understandable reasons of course… so like… even though things are better between you two now, even though you’re trying to reconcile with it all… your mind uh… can’t let go of what happened and that overpowers everything else when you are around him. that’s what uh… i can gather at least.”

She blinked again, slowly, as she attempted to digest his words. It… did make sense. She wasn’t a fool, she knew she had problems… she knew she wasn’t mentally healthy. She hadn’t been for a long, long time. But still, hearing it laid out like that by someone else was… troubling. Still, almost subconsciously, she nodded.

“You are probably right…” She sighed, rubbing her forehead anxiously. “And I suppose… you _would_ understand that…”

Sans ducked his head a bit, eyelights averting from her anxiously. “yah…”

“Who is it for you?” She asked, before she could think about it.

He flinched a bit, taking a small step back. He steadied himself quickly though, dredging up a weak grin.

“wh-whaddya mean?” He stammered.

Toriel hesitated, sad to see his harsh reaction, but deciding she needed to press the question.

“You said you know from experience… so who is it that causes your um… PTSD to flare up?”

His eyelights flickered as if about to go out, but it seemed that he was able to keep them faintly lit through willpower. For a while, he stood eerily still, before slowly lifting a hand up and gripping at his shirt over his chest. There was a terrible amount of fear and even… guilt? shimmering in the lights of his eyes.

“i…” his voice came out as a croak, but he forced some strength back into it. “i d-don’t think i can tell you that just yet… i… you’d be…”

He trailed off before something clicked and he seemed to become aware of his unconscious actions. He quickly dropped his hand back down to his side and managed a wider grin. The tension in his body waned as he waved a hand dismissively.

“we’ll get to that later, heh. d-don’t worry bout it. weren’t we gonna go eat before we got into that again anyway?” He asked, not waiting for an answer as he hopped down from the bed.

“c-come on, i’ll meet’cha in the kitchen.” He said over his shoulder as he hurried to the door and left the room just as quickly.

Toriel stared after him for a few moments, expression empty. She knew. Her question before had been somewhat pointless, and his reaction only convinced her further of what she already had figured out. She knew who it was that triggered a similar panic for him, even if he did a far better job of hiding it. Or rather, she knew the _two_ of them who did. She didn’t understand why or how it could be the case. But she knew. The signs had been there all along, now they couldn’t be ignored.

Doing her best to push back those thoughts and the feelings the came with them for the moment, she slowly rose from the bed and began to follow after Sans. Once they got to discussing whatever it was that caused the core of his own trauma, she’d perhaps get to understand the burning question of why in regard to this.

As she headed through the living room towards the kitchen, she saw that Sans had been right about Asgore cleaning up the place. It looked as though everything had been dusted, polished, swept, vacuumed or whatever was appropriate for each given item. The fireplace was indeed totally emptied of ash and thoroughly cleaned, the glass from the fallen cup was gone and the blanket from the couch was neatly folded on the armchair. The fresh scent of flowers also drew her attention to the vibrantly colored floral arrangements that he’d placed in every vase. It was all nearly excessively nice.

Even the waste basket that had been, well, used, was back in its original corner with a fresh trashbag inside. That in particular made her grimace a bit in vague sympathy for her ex-husband, wondering what thoughts had been going through his head when he’d discovered that. She prayed he didn’t suspect it was _her_ who had been sick, surely he’d worry himself into oblivion if that were the case. All this kindness from him made her soul twist with dread and guilt, even though she thoroughly wished it didn’t.

She entered the kitchen to see it was the same case there, thoroughly cleaned to the point it looked like a room for an open house rather than a lived-in space. And sure enough, there was a note on the table beneath the vase in the center, a vase that was also positively brimming with colorful flowers of many sorts. She heaved out a sigh, deciding she was not quite ready to read it. Instead, she looked over at Sans who was by the window at the far end of the room. He was looking at something on the windowsill, a slightly perplexed look on his face.

“huh…” He murmured in a confused tone, just loud enough for her to hear.

“What is it?” She asked, walking over to stand behind him.

He flinched just a bit in surprise at her sudden question, before working up a smile again and pointing at the object sitting on the windowsill.

“fluffybuns even fed my pet rock…” He said, in amazed amusement. “how the hell did he know to do that?”

She looked and indeed, the small rock sitting atop a plate on the windowsill was covered in a fresh layer of sprinkles. It was usually something Papyrus took care of, as Sans, lazy as he was, was prone to neglect the task otherwise. She’d never seen the rock move or show any signs of life, but the sprinkles always vanished mysteriously whenever she wasn’t looking. If it was a monster or another being of some sort, she didn’t know. Asgore’s apparent knowledge on the rock’s needs was just as much a mystery to her.

She gave him a helpless shrug in response and they both stared at the rock in mild confusion until Sans turned back around to face her. His nervousness was still present in the soft light of his eyes, but his weak smile stayed in place. He rubbed the back as he skull as he addressed her again.

“so uh… want me to help with whatever it is you’re making?” He asked. “i’d… feel kinda bad just sitting here while you did this on my behalf.”

The words brought a small smile back to Toriel’s face and a light giggle escaped her.

“You can help if you would like to my friend, but really, you know I do not mind.” She replied as she walked over to the counter and fetched her apron off of the oven handle.

After putting it on, she went to the fridge and began pulling out a few things, already formulating a plan for what she had in mind.

“I love making meals for others, to me it is one of the greatest joys. Seeing someone smile and enjoy something you have created is a feeling like no other.”

Sans approached hesitantly, watching her now with a softer, fonder expression.

“heh i getcha. it is pretty fun when we bake together. i never thought i’d ever be good at anything like that.” He said, smile taking on a more genuine look.

The warmth in his tone prompted her to turn to him again with a stronger smile of her own, gathering all the ingredients she’d fetched from the fridge into her arms.

“You have done wonderfully with it Sans.” She said, quick to praise him. “You have improved so much since your first attempt back in the Underground. It is so very nice to have a baking partner. I feel you and I could conquer any dessert together.”

Sans blushed lightly at the compliment, beginning to become sweaty and looking as though he wished he had his hoodie on to retreat into. Flustered as he was, she could tell he was grateful for her words. The warmth in his eyelights grew and gave them a bit of a happy shimmer.

“gee tori… i’m still nowhere near your level, but thanks heh.” He replied, scratching idly at his cheekbone with a phalange. “ya know a week or so ago when everyone tried that cobbler i made and thought for sure it was one of yours? that uh, was pretty cool. or rather, pretty _sweet_.”

The pun caused a quiet peal of laughter to escape her as she set everything from the fridge on the counter. She responded once she managed to compose herself again, grabbing the rest of the essentials for her work from the other cabinets as she did so.

“It was _berry_ delicious indeed my friend, and I am glad you had fun making it.” She quipped. “Working on meals like this might be a bit different, but I am sure you would still enjoy it if you wish to learn.”

The skeleton seemed to consider that for a moment, then stepped over to stand at her side, grabbing his own apron off the oven handle.

“sure, why not?” He said, slipping it on and tying the string behind his back. “what are we making t?”

She felt her smile grow even wider, and her soul warmed within her. In that moment, she was able to forget all the stress of the day before, as well as the new worries weighing on her soul.

“It should not be too out of your comfort zone.” She said, reaching up to grab one last thing from a shelf above, a pie tin.

“We are going to make an old family recipe, something my father liked to make me during the cold months or whenever I just needed some comfort food. It is our take on chicken pot pie, or as he liked to call it, dinner pie.”

For the next hour or so, the two worked together to create the dish, amiably chatting and joking with each other all the while. It was a welcome return to a usual shared pastime that they both sorely needed. Toriel showed him how to properly boil the meat and vegetables, then simmer the spices, butter and onions in a saucepan. He became adept with it quickly, as she expected he would, making the task go by much smoother than if she was doing it all herself. They also both worked in tandem to create the crust, something the two of them had made many times before. Overall, it felt like they had finished preparing, got it into the oven and had set their finished work on the table in record time.

It had turned out beautifully, the smell and visual appearance just as she remembered. Golden brown with wisps of steam seeping through the holes in the covering layer of crust. The few minutes it took for it to cool felt far longer than all the time they’d spent making it. When they finally each got a slice on their plates and sat at the table, she found herself forgoing digging in, despite her insistent hunger. She watched her friend take his first bite instead, anxious to see what he thought.

He eagerly bit into a large forkful and chewed it thoughtfully. His eyelights brightened in response and, for a moment, she swore they almost took on a star-like shape.

“wow this is… really great tori.” He mumbled around his mouthful of food.

He was quick to stab some more onto his utensil for an even bigger bite, only pausing to add some ketchup on top beforehand.

Toriel chuckled at the sight, gathering a much more reasonable portion on her own fork.

“I am so happy you like it, my friend. We will surely have make it more often.” She said with a smile, before taking a bite of the pie herself.

Sans was right, it had turned out just perfect. She savored the nostalgic taste on her tongue until it dissipated into magic. Her soul responded warmly, and she quickly began to feel a lot better. She eyed her friend again as he polished off the rest of the slice on his plate and promptly cut himself another.

“Goodness, it is not going anywhere you know. You eat like a greedy little goblin.” She teased, making a bit of a show of taking another small, neat bite for herself.

His grin widened at the comment as he took another large bite, chewing a bit before responding.

“what can i say?” He replied with a shrug. “I just can’t help _goblin_ up your food.”

She had to fight hard not to laugh with her mouth full, covering her snout with a paw and snorting.

“Oh stop, y-you are going to make me choke or something.” She said through giggles once she could manage it.

The two of them both succumbed to laughter after that and they enjoyed the rest of the meal maintaining that same jovial atmosphere. It was just so nice, so natural and it made her feel so happy. She had not felt this happy and free of her worries in a long time. Which only made it harder for her when her eyes fell upon the note under the vase again, after the two of them had eaten their fill. Her fretful mind made her want to just ignore it further, or even tear it up and throw it away. But she couldn’t, for better or worse, she just wasn’t that type of monster.

As she reluctantly reached over and picked up the note, Sans leaned back in his chair and lazily picked at a piece of celery stuck between his teeth with his fork. He paused though when he saw what she was doing, and she could feel his concerned gaze on her as she began to read. It was elegantly written and very, very long. The contents were about what she expected. Endless apologies, touches of self-loathing, deep and sincere reassurances and of course, the insistence that the cleaning of the house was the least he could do to make up for his actions. The final part however stood out to her and made her paws tremble a bit as her eyes went over the words.

_Please know Toriel, for what it’s worth, I understand. The only thing I wish is to see you happy again. You deserve it. And from what I’ve seen, I think you may have found that happiness indeed. If you ever wish to talk though, about any of it… anything. I will always be here for you. Thank you again for your hospitality. Please take care and I hope you both get to feeling better soon._

_Asgore_

Her claws curled slightly into the paper as confused emotions gripped her. It wasn’t until Sans spoke up again that she was able to snap herself back into reality.

“pretty heavy stuff, huh?” The skeleton asked, cautiously.

She blinked, shaking herself out of her stupor and setting the note down again, face down. She cleared her throat before replying, willing strength into her voice.

“Yes… Though that is not much of a surprise… especially with him.” She murmured.

Facing him again, she managed a small smile.

“Never mind it, I will… try and call later to rectify things…”

Whether she’d stay true to that statement or not was up in the air. For the moment though, the emotions brought forth by the note had reminded her of what the two of them still needed to do. She slowly stood from her chair and gathered the leftovers of their meal to take to the fridge. Oddly without prompting, Sans carried the dishes and silverware to the sink alongside her. He made no effort to wash them of course, simply set them inside, but it was still notably thoughtful in his case.

Afterward, he looked up her with a weak grin, rubbing his arm a little nervously.

“so… um… thanks for that tori, it was real nice, it’s always cool to cook with ya…” He trailed off, eyelights dulling a bit.

Toriel responded to his thanks with a nod, sensing he had more to say and waiting for him to continue. He took a deep breath before he did so, curling his phalanges through the open space between his ulna and radius in a tight grip. Beyond the uncertainty in the lights of eyes, a bit of somber resolve shone there too.

“guess we should uh… go talk now, huh?” He asked quietly. “that okay with you?”

She nodded again, scarlet eyes heavy with emotion. As she had before, she began to mentally prepare herself for the weight of what was to come. She had to be ready… for anything.

“Yes, of course… How would you like to do this, my friend?”

His grin tightened, and a weak chuckle escaped him.

“you’re… gonna want to be comfortable for this…” He said stiffly, eyelights wavering. “and its probably a bit of a shame to go mess up the living room again after all of ol fluffybun’s trouble so… might be best if we just go back to your room. i’d suggest mine but… it’s a disaster, heh.”

She wanted to offer a smile at his small attempt at humor, even a forced one, but it just didn’t seem right. But something else did occur to her then that she could do to be supportive in this situation. With how he had reacted to it before, it didn’t seem like it’d be too bold of her.

“Very well then…” She replied gently, before holding out a paw and offering it to him.

He stared at it in minor surprise for a moment, but then took it gratefully, relaxing just a little. Neither of them said anything more as they returned to her room. Just like the previous day, Toriel could feel through the ever-tightening grip he had on her paw that his anxiety was building within his soul by the moment. There wasn’t the same near-panicky hesitance as he had had back then, but still, there was no way to make sharing whatever terrible secret he carried an easy process for him. This was going to hurt, for both of them. Now more than ever.

There was a silver lining though, if they could get through this part, she was sure the rest would be far easier to endure. And she would finally, finally understand the true nature of her friend’s pain. Then, just maybe, she would know how to help him start to properly heal. To do that though, she was going to need to keep a level head no matter what. No more harsh reactions to every little detail, no more stupid, potentially hurtful questions. She was going to be strong for him. And no matter what terrible things she was sure to hear, she wouldn’t let it destroy the close relationship they had. Today would not be the last good day they shared together.

Lost in all her thoughts, she hardly even registered the fact they had reentered the room and climbed back up onto the bed. They ended up sitting against the pillows and headboard, side by side, hand in paw as before. She re-focused and gave him her full attention, but Sans did not speak right away, small body quite rigid beside her. More than content to wait however long he needed, she just tenderly stroked his hand between the pads of her thumb and forefinger. Eventually though, he did draw a shallow breath and clutch her paw tight before his voice broke the silence.

“i warned ya before, this is gonna be… a lot to handle.” He began, seemingly doing his best to keep his voice tight and controlled. “it’s probably better that i didn’t tell you last night… as uh, unstable as i was, heh.”

She hummed thoughtfully in response to that, briefly feeling a dull ache in her soul as she remembered the sight of him in tears. Another thought occurred to her then and she tilted her head a bit as she voiced it as a question.

“Will GB be joining us again this time?” She asked, knowing that the blaster’s comforting presence would likely be even more helpful now than before.

But Sans shook his head, forced smile becoming shaky.

“nah, i would but… this stuff, it could be real traumatizing to the lil guy. more so than before… i don’t want him to have to re-live it too.” He explained.

It was a sentiment that certainly did not help either of their nerves. But she found no reason to argue with him. Thought It meant she alone would have to serve as her friend’s support through this. She accepted that with another gentle squeeze to his hand, and it seemed to her that he understood. His eyelights sharpened with focus then, and the next words came in a slow, deliberate manner.

“i’m gonna have to give you some context before we fully get into it… i’ll… do my best to make it brief as i can.” He breathed, drumming his phalanges lightly against his patella.

“when i was fourteen or so, gaster and the others stopped using me for their experiments. by then, pap had been taken out of the development chamber and was proving to be much more competent and much more cooperative.”

His jaw tightened slightly with some flare of emotion, but he was so quick to compose himself again that she was not sure what emotion it was.

“one of the scientists wanted to just… dispose of me. he thought i was too much of a liability to keep alive and that i didn’t serve much of a purpose now that they had my bro. but… believe it or not… ol g was the one who took pity on me.”

Toriel’s eyes widened a bit, now that was a surprise. Everything she’d heard about the past royal scientist made him out to be exceedingly cruel. She twitched her long ears forward a bit, listening intently as her friend continued.

“i know right?” He said in response to her reaction. “trust me, i was pretty damn shocked too. but as terrible as the doc could be… he wasn’t just… evil.”

The skeleton’s eyelights dulled a bit and she could practically see the warring feelings twisting through his soul.

“he… really thought he was uh, doing something bad for the sake of good. he tried to explain it to me that if only a few monsters had to suffer for everyone to be free one day, then it was worth it. he wasn’t some sicko who enjoyed experimenting on kids, but he sacrificed his morals for what he saw as the greater good. and he surrounded himself with company who were equally willing to do the same.”

He paused, then narrowed his sockets slightly, perhaps trying to refocus his thoughts. Toriel felt her soul swell with anger on his behalf again, but she kept it under control. She would have to ensure later on that he understood that none of this justified the cruelty and abuse that he had endured. She didn’t want to interrupt him though, so she stayed silent and listened.

“anyway, he saw that despite how worthless i was in regard to my intended purpose, i was pretty uh… book smart? i picked up on things quickly and he seemed surprised at how much i actually knew just from listening to them all talk and reading the reports they sometimes stuck to the walls. so he… decided to give me a chance to utilize that skill instead of being dusted.”

His smile held the faintest hint of… something she couldn’t recognize for a moment, but it disappeared as quickly as it came.

“i was just so happy to be accepted by him, even if it was only a little. and things were actually pretty… okay for a while after that... in a manner of speaking. he assigned me to work with a group of young interns who he oversaw at the upper labs. specifically, he had me be the assistant to the head intern… and you know her already. everyone’s favorite otaku lizard herself.”

Alphys, now there was someone Toriel somewhat expected to hear come up in this story eventually, but perhaps not in this way. Questions burned at the end of her tongue like hot embers, but she kept her mouth firmly shut. Sans phalanges stopped tapping for the moment and he let his hand lay flat.

“al and the others were all about the same age as me at the time, they were my first real friends. even though i had the social skills of a rock, they were always kind to me. and in time we were able to not just be good lab partners, but close friends. course uh, they never knew the truth about where i came from. ol g told them i was his nephew and i didn’t dare try and correct him. i was more than happy so long as i got to see everyone and do something worthwhile.”

His eyelights wavered then, the faint happiness that had been there fading into a dull emptiness. His free hand closed into a fist.

“they were… really good people…”

 _Were_. She didn’t miss that. The implications were clear and her soul panged harshly at the realization. She could see he was already shaking himself out of his momentary musing in an attempt to move on again, but she felt she still needed to acknowledge his words somehow. She shifted a little closer, giving his small hand another light squeeze. His weary, now faintly grief-stricken gaze met hers for a moment and something in her eyes seemed to help him relax a bit again. He looked back down at his clenched hand, and went on.

“anyway… despite how young we were, we showed great promise and produced some impressive results in the tasks we were given. the doc decided to choose me and al specifically to help him with a project he’d been conceptualizing. he talked it up as his primary idea for possibly escaping the underground, but i knew that was a lie. he went back to work downstairs with his real magnum opus, pap, at the end of every session with us.”

A faint shudder ran through him at that. Regret and guilt were detectable in the magic flowing from him, but he kept himself talking, seemingly frustrated with himself for his own reaction.

“his idea was this… machine. a machine that could see into alternate timelines, other worlds even. he even thought, with enough power, that it could be used to open portals to these other timelines. maybe to an instance of our world that monsters were never sealed at all or one where the barrier was already destroyed.”

He paused, looking back up at her and smiling nervously in response to what must have been a bewildered expression on her face. She did her best to compose herself again, giving him a nod to show she was still listening. The skeleton didn’t look away though.

“y-you still with me tori? you’ve been awfully quiet. i know this is a lot… back then i probably had the same look on my face when he was explaining it to us.”

A bit apologetically, she finally broke her own trend of silence, meeting his gaze without hesitation.

“Sorry my friend, I just did not want to interrupt you. I will admit this is hard for me to understand. But do not worry. I feel I… grasp the concept at least.” She assured him.

Truthfully, she only faintly understood the idea. What had that previous royal scientist been drinking to think such a thing possible? Surely the idea of seeing other “timelines” was not something achievable in the realms of reality. And travelling to them through a portal was only more preposterous… right? But her friend’s grim expression showed no sign of any sarcasm on the matter, nor had his tone been that of someone recounting a scientist’s mad ravings. He had treated the subject with seriousness, nothing more. She swallowed hard, unsure what to think.

“it’s okay.” He replied after a moment. “i know it sounds crazy just… try to keep an open mind and stay with me with what i’m going to say next. because well, long story short, we got the machine to work. in part anyway.”

Well, there it was. Her mind whirled as she tried to make his statement make sense in her mind. She was no scientist by any stretch of the imagination but… how? How could something like that be true? But she had promised to believe him, and indeed, her friend would certainly not lie to her now. Unbeknownst to her though, her internal questions of “How?” had been escaping her verbally as well, prompting her friend to answer.

“to be honest it was mostly the doc, so i’m still not 100% sure how. me and al only really worked on the conceptual and construction phase, as well as handled the reports and readings it gave out. He kept the specifics from the two of us for some reason. i never fully figured out how he did it.… trust me, i tried, for a long, _long_ time…”

A deep sadness was visible in his eyelights again at that, though it faded quickly as he kept talking.

“somehow the machine was able to detect and give a visible summation of our current timeline as well the ones that ran concurrent to ours. it was with the machine we figured out the something was uh…off with the timelines.”

Toriel watched, somewhat entranced as he lifted a phalange and drew an invisible line through the air with it.

“they were jumping left and right…” He said, accenting his words by jerking his phalange in said directions at random points along his imaginary line.

“stopping… then starting.” He abruptly paused in his motions and then began them again.

“until suddenly… everything ends.” His phalange froze in place and then he slowly pulled it back into a fist, before lowering the hand into his lap again.

She didn’t know what to say, she didn’t really understand… even with the attempted visual. But the concept clicked within her mind enough that she could at least imagine the implications.

“So… something was… causing these uh, timelines to be… disrupted?” She asked, figuring at this point she needed to get as much clarification as she could. Though her words felt embarrassingly clumsy in comparison to his.

The skeleton seemed unbothered by the awkward nature of her question, replying with an absent nod.

“yah, something alright.” His grin became strained and bitter, and he had to pause a moment before he could continue.

“we didn’t figure out what it was back then, specifically at least. but i found the answer myself in time. what we managed to conclude was that something must have had the ability to end timelines, change their path, leave “checkpoints” like freezes in time that could be returned to… and of course…”

His eyelights winked out, and his voice took on a cold, distant tone.

“… _reset_ them.”

That word. It was the one he had almost managed to say the night before. The word he kept holding back. In it was a weight so terrible that Toriel could feel some of her friend’s strength leave his soul upon speaking it. The air seemed to thicken and the atmosphere grew heavy. Neither moved or made a sound.

It would be a while before he spoke again, but with that word they had clearly crossed a threshold of some sort. Toriel’s soul could only grow colder with poorly restrained fear, wondering what could lie beyond it.

 

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((BEAUTIFUL AND AMAZING fan art for this chapter by Gabriella_Lu/Lau))

 

 


	10. Shared Burden

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ohh boy, finally got to this part. \\( - v -)/ The big stuff begins. Hope you enjoy. 
> 
> (Warnings for this chapter: Minor Suicidal themes)
> 
> Spanish version of this chapter translated by the wonderful Gabriella_Lu/Lau can be found here!: https://www.wattpad.com/654697531-undertale-todas-estas-piezas-rotas-soriel

It was some time before Toriel could fight past the sudden palpable tension in the air and make her mouth form words again.

“Re…set?” She slowly repeated the word back to him, and felt Sans’ hand begin to tremble lightly in her grip.

He didn’t respond right away. His empty sockets stared blankly down at the bed, and she could only imagine what thoughts and memories were tearing at him to fuel such a hollow expression. The feeling of his grip on her paw tightening was the only sign of movement from him as he finally managed to reply.

“yah… reset. start over, send the timeline back to the point where an… anomaly first arrived.” He murmured, voice sounding as though it was coming from far away, growing worse as he went on.

“wipe away everything that happened and begin anew. every event, every conversation, every friendship, every action, every reaction… every m-memory…”

With that last word, he trailed into silence again, and his trembling seem to worsen by degrees. She stared down at him, mind whirling with confusion and now far more insistent fear. His words were quickly slipping into that odd incoherency that she’d noticed on occasion ever since she'd first met him. Words with little grasp on reality as she knew it, but clearly oh so real and painful to him. She turned a bit to face him better, reaching to lay her other paw over their clasped hands.

“Sans… I am sorry. I… do not understand.” She said softly, doing what she could to keep her voice calm.

That did seem to be the prompting he needed to actually turn to look at her again. Those dark, empty sockets combined with his detached, vacant smile faintly chilled her, but she did not break from his gaze. As before, meeting her eyes seemed to help ground him and his unnerving expression softened a bit. His voice still carried a distinctly distant quality to it though as he kept talking.

“the anomaly… or  _anomalies_ … they have the power to reset a timeline, wiping all evidence of the last instance and starting it over. their decisions and abilities were what were twisting the timelines we could see through the machine. our world isn’t what it seems tori. it was something with the barrier, something with the spell that trapped us, but whatever being has the most determination… they control everything….”

He paused, sweat beginning to dot his skull. There was little time for her to even think as he continued on, and she was reminded of his almost desperate insistence of continuing with his story the previous day. Clearly there was a debilitating fear that dwelled inside him that usually kept these words firmly locked away. But now that there was an opportunity that had punctured it, like a crack in a dam, that fear now made it so he couldn’t stop the words from escaping him, coherency be damned.

“when the humans fall, once they pass through the barrier their determination gives them control of everything. they can manipulate it all. if they mess up they can just go back and try again. redo the same events over and over until they get it the way they want it.” He went on rapidly, not even pausing enough to take a breath.

“all of us monsters are just pawns in it all. since the beginning, we just get wiped and sent back, whenever these humans choose. no one remembers a thing, no one is aware, no one knows the truth. until my goddamn father gets the genius idea to inject his own child’s soul with that human girl’s soul trait. light blue, patience, the power to perceive… not actually  _affect_  anything of course, but perceive it… and…”

His ranting stopped again, cutting off as he seemed to take in the expression on her face. He wants to keep talking, she can tell. But reality was starting to creep back in. Toriel could only look down at him helplessly, unable to piece together anything he’d said into any kind of rational, digestible idea. Parts of it made her magic feel like ice as it flowed through her body, but the shock was tempered by her inability to understand. Now that he was quiet again, she gave his hand another squeeze and willed herself to speak.

“Sans, please my friend. Slow down. I know this is difficult but… I just cannot grasp what you are trying to say.” She implored, forcing herself to stare deep into the darkness of his empty sockets.

At her words, he shuddered hard and dropped his gaze from her again. A strained wheeze of empty laughter escaped him and he covered his face with his free hand.

“damn it… i’m not making any goddamn s-sense…” He croaked, curling in on himself a bit.

His bones rattled quietly as his trembling returned in earnest. He pulled in shallow breaths, all the while clearly fighting against the urge to begin his tirade again. The magic radiating from his soul was becoming heavy with frustration and fear.

“i’m s-sorry tori… it’s so hard to focus, it’s just… it’s all so… there’s so much…”

She felt her soul seize up painfully inside her at his distress. Instincts kicking in, she moved closer and freed a paw to rest on his shoulder, offering him her close presence but not as to smother his will to speak. Gently, she rubbed the spot in small circles, hoping to help ease his soul into calmness again. 

“I know, it is okay my friend.” She soothed, leaning down closer to his level. “Just try to relax, take a deep breath. I am not going anywhere, I promise. There is no need to rush with this… alright?” 

At first, she was unsure if he would react to her words, until his grip on her paw tightened to the point that it may have been painful had he been a stronger monster. He clenched his teeth against the frantic words of his great inner burden and did his best to heed her. The next few minutes were only filled with the soft sounds of his shaky breathing, the faint rattle of his fragile frame as it shook, and the tender murmur of Toriel’s voice as she continued to do what she could to help.

 As she did however, fragments of what he’d said began to sink in. She still didn’t understand them, but the idea, the concept, it was taking shape in her mind. And the implications… They were nearly too overwhelming to even consider. She focused on comforting her friend, if only to keep her own thoughts from becoming unhinged. But she did come up with an idea for how to go forward with the conversation. Once she felt her friend had sufficiently calmed enough, she ceased her quiet reassurances and spoke more directly.

“Listen, I think I know a better way to handle this.” She said, giving his shoulder a light squeeze in an effort to get his attention.

He didn’t uncurl or look at her, but his breaths stilled in a manner that indicated to her that he was listening. She ran her thumb pad softly over his knuckle bones in a silent show of thanks as she continued speaking.

“I will tell you what I believe I have gathered from what you have said so far, and you just let me know if I am right or wrong in those assumptions, sound okay?” She asked.

Sans drew in an unsteady breath and nodded weakly behind his hand, squeezing his empty sockets shut. It was the go ahead she needed, but she still took some time to begin. Just the idea of what she was about to ask him to clarify was so inordinately unthinkable it made her head feel numb. But she pressed on, forcing the words out even as her very soul wanted to lock up with fear.

“So… these “timelines”… our world… and everything and everyone in them can be… reset? Set back to a point and… erased of all that had happened before?” She asked, voice quaking a bit despite her best efforts.

The skeleton replied with a single shaky nod. It was a miracle she managed not to panic.

“And…” She paused, having to really struggle not to falter under the weight of her words. “It is the… humans who can do this? …or… have done this?”

Another nod met her words, but he managed a verbal reply as well.

“s-specifically… its whatever has the most determination…and is…or was… beneath the barrier… mostly humans… n-not always…” He wheezed, curling inwards a little tighter as he said the last part.

Toriel felt faint, and as though the tips of her paws had gone ice-cold. Her mind was reeling to a dangerous degree, but still, she kept talking, willing all her strength to be put into that task.

“A-and you… the patience trait that w-was injected into your soul… l-let you perceive that th-this was happening?”

He stiffened violently at that, beginning to shake hard again. His phalanges curled against his skull as if he were trying to tear at it, creating a terrible sound as bone dug into bone. She began to move to try and stop him, but before she could, his self-control shattered like a thin piece of glass. His left eyelight flared to life with a bright flash as he got to his feet and pulled his hand away so quickly and that Toriel distinguished the movement as only a blur. There was no time to prepare before his verbal onslaught returned with a vengeance.

“my memories  _don’t_  get reset tori!” He shouted, trembling as he stood before her. “i remember everything! all of it! you all forget, all of you get wiped and sent back with no memory of any of it! but i  _don’t_!”

She could only stare with ever widening eyes, almost hypnotized by his flashing eyelight as his terrible words hit her soul like a freight train. But there was no time to comprehend, no time for any of it to click within her mind. He wouldn’t stop, perhaps couldn’t stop. Some deep part of her soul, perhaps the part of her who had witnessed the depravity of war and the grisly death of her children, gave her the mental fortitude to grasp some semblance of calm. She stayed silent through the rest of his furious outburst, letting him finally rid himself of the worst of his tormenting secrets without interruption.

“i  _can’t_  forget. i keep my memories from every timeline.  _every_.  _single_.  _one_. the ones where i die, the ones where everyone else dies, the ones where things are actually okay for once until it’s all ripped away without a second of warning. every bit of progress i make, every relationship i improve, any bit of effort i put into anything at all. it’s all destroyed. its all  _pointless_! wiped from the world like it never happened!”

He was pacing on the bed now, still practically clawing at his face with both of his hands. The horrible alternating glow of his eyelight seeped through his phalanges like wisps of ethereal flame.

“i have to act normal for my bro but i  _can’t._ i have to pretend like i don’t remember but i  _can’t_. i keep slipping, it all blurs together. the only way i can get by is to just shut down and not care about anyone or anything but i just.  _can’t_. i can’t do it anymore. we are all helpless. the kid can take everything from us at any moment. but  _i’ll_  be the only one to remember it all. everything we’ve built for ourselves up here. i d-don’t think i have it in me to do this all again. they promised they won’t reset again but i  _can’t_  believe them, i c-cant’. we’ve been here for a year and i’m getting too u-used to it. things are too good and i c-can’t trust it! it never lasts this long!!”

His breaths came in shuddering heaves and he had to tear his hands away from his face as they too become fully consumed by blazes of cyan magic. He cursed darkly and turned from her, phalanges twitching as the magic flared around them, wanting to funnel his rage and pain into an attack that never came. He just went on with his ranting, giving voice to words that had been burning within him for so long that she may be among the only ones who could truly grasp the amount of time. It lasted for a little longer after that, but Toriel could no longer glean any new information from it, it was more or less just desperate, frantic repetition of what he’d already said. She kept her silence, watching him, absorbing his words and their utterly devastating, inconceivable implications.

She could tell there were still things he was not telling her, but at this point, she wasn’t sure how much more she herself could take. Dots were connecting, pieces were falling into place, and it was all building into a fiery roar inside her mind. It nearly deafened everything else as her entire worldview threatened to cave in on itself and bring her down with it. Somehow though, that odd resilience from deep within held strong, allowing her to stay quiet and outwardly calm.

It was only when he turned to meet her gaze again and drilled her with that fervid eyelight that he finally broke from his cyclical diatribe.

“y-you… don’t even believe me d-do you?” he croaked, voice wavering between anger and despair. “and who could b-blame you?  _i_ don’t even know h-how much of any of it is real anymore, it’s all so-“

“Sans.” She cut him off, speaking again at last.

He froze up, some part of him snapping back to awareness at the sound of her voice, but only enough to silence him. His eyelight and the magic around his hands still flared intensely as he glowered at her.

“I… I do believe you…” She went on softly, words passing her lips almost subconsciously.

“ ** _D o n ’ t  L i e T o  M e…_** ” He shot back, in that strange dark, reverberating voice that he’d used the last time he’d succumbed to his anger.

She didn’t flinch, but if it was because of her own nerve or just the horrid numbing of her senses due to the things she’d just been told, she didn’t know.

“I am not, my friend…” She replied, staring into the flashing blue and yellow that was his only visible method of sight. “P-part of me wishes I could deny your claims… indeed all of this is… beyond comprehension in many ways… but…”

A violent shudder coursed through her, through the awful dizzying haze that had encased her mind. She covered her mouth with her paws, vision blurring as tears pricked at her eyes. The skeleton went silent again, though she could still see a smear of dancing colors through the watery veil.

“Sans… when the human ch-children… when I would find them after they had fallen… I always felt as though I already knew them… Like I was seeing an old friend. I thought it was just because they reminded me of my Chara… but… I somehow knew what fl-flavors they’d prefer too… and they… th-they all talked to me like they knew what I would say… I…”

She choked back a sob welling up in her throat, not willing to give into a flood of emotions in her currently rapidly declining state. Surely if she did that, it would all be over. And one of them just had to stay level in this situation. It took all her strength to face him again properly.

“S-Sans, it is because of all th-this, is it not? The h-humans, they had already, I had already…” The question burned as it left her, for she knew the answer, to the point she couldn’t even finish.

His continuing silence cut deep, but she saw then through the blur of tears that his fiery displays of magic were fading. A few blinks managed to clear her eyes enough for her to vaguely see her friend’s face again. The anger that had been there was gone, burnt out perhaps… or banished by the sight of her own quickly mounting realization and despair. Instead, exhaustion had set in once more, leaving him with that horribly familiar look of emptiness and guilt. She would have preferred he go back to being angry, rather than looking as though he had no strength left in his soul.

“t-tori… i… oh god… i…” His legs wobbled and then abruptly gave out beneath him.

As before, the sight triggered her instincts enough that she broke through the layers of shock that had left her practically frozen. Rushing forward, she caught him before he could fall down completely. As she held him close, their gazes met again and they both seemed to be fully pulled from their encompassing thoughts and back into the present.

She could see as well as feel that there was a terrible warring of emotions behind the expression twisting his now dark sockets. Some part of him wanted to launch into a wave of apologies equally passionate as his ranting before. Another part though, showed some tiny, miniscule glimmer of hope, some spark of relief that someone had believed him and finally knew some fraction of what he’d been enduring alone for so long. Neither side could seem to win over enough to push him to keep talking, and only succeeded in bringing tears to his sockets. She was astounded, that even now, he still fought them back and didn’t let them fall.

“i’m s-so sorry… I’m so s-sorry…” he rasped out at last, indicating which side had finally claimed him. “oh  _god_ …” He covered his face with his hands again, shaking to the point that she had to tighten her grip on him to keep him steady.

His lack of an answer to her earlier question did not phase her. Even though there were, in that moment, perhaps endless things she wanted to say, to ask, but her mouth couldn’t seem to form words. Everything she had previously believed about her world, her entire existence, now felt up to question. She struggled not to let this new terrifying reality that was settling in keep her from being there for her friend. If how she was feeling just from this newfound knowledge was any indication, she wasn’t sure she could even comprehend the scope of her friend’s true suffering.

All she could do for the moment was hold him close and fight to keep her composure. The air was filled with the sound of his broken, frantic apologies. She could not reply, but she hoped her tight embrace and the feelings flowing from her soul would be enough to soothe him in time. For beyond all the existential terror and rekindled grief that gripped her, he would find no trace of hatred or disgust, only agonized sympathy on his behalf.

“i shouldn’ve e-ever… d-dumped this on you l-like that.” He croaked, after managing to gain back some coherency.

“goddamn it… i c-can’t believe i just… t-tori please say something… please... t-tell me you are still…” He trailed off with another curse and she felt damp spots forming where he had hidden his face against her shoulder.

His pleas sent terrible stabs of pain to her soul, and were enough to drive her to attempt to speak again. With some effort, she managed, but her voice only came out as a hoarse rasp at first. She cleared her throat and found more success with her second attempt.

“I… I am…f-” She stopped. Her mouth had worked this time, but the words she had intended to speak were nothing but lies. There was nothing fine about this situation and they both knew it. What could she say then? What could anyone say…?

“I… I understand…” Was what she eventually uttered, when her mind could offer her nothing else.

Sans seemed to accept that answer though, relief at hearing her voice again clearly felt from his soul. Still, more tears escaped his attempts at withholding them, silently disappearing into the fabric of her nightgown.

“i’m so sorry t-tori…” He repeated, as he had so many times. “I didn’t mean to l-lose it like that… it wasn’t s-supposed to happen like this.”

She was once more at a loss for words, but she had to say something. The conversation had to continue, lest the shock and horror drag her back into numbness again.

“It is… n-not your fault.” She managed between shaky breaths. “Clearly, this has been… t-tormenting you, my friend… for so long... and… I… can see why…”  

Her head swam, but she steadied herself again by clutching him tight. Sans gripped at her in response, seeming to sense her weakening grip on her own composure. It was almost comical, the idea of him trying to support her if she did faint. Surely, she’d smoosh him. If there was any space in her mind for humor at the moment, perhaps she would have felt faintly amused.

“h-hey, easy…” he said through a watery sniff. “i know it’s… a l-lot to take in and i seriously didn’t help things… just… breathe okay? st-stay with me here…”

She was too out of it to even see the irony of him attempting to use her own words to help ground her. The only thing she could do was listen to him and just… breathe. In through her nose and out through her mouth. Slowly. She could handle this. It was beyond anything she could have imagined, and it was surely tearing at her very sanity, but… she could handle this. She had to handle this. She had to know. That sentiment kept her wits about her and soon enough she was able to focus again.

She eased herself back a bit, now mindful of how much she’d been leaning on him. He slowly pulled back too, seeming to be watching her carefully. Their gazes met, and she found that his white eyelights had returned, if only faintly. The sight of the tears still spilling from his sockets tempered any real relief she could have felt from that though. She drew a final steadying breath before speaking once again.

“Sorry… I… I should be okay now…” She croaked, not sure just how much of a lie it was.

Sans looked like he wished to reply, but it seemed that now he was the one struck silent. He just gave her a small nod and rubbed at his eye sockets with a hand against another wave of tears. It was surprising how quickly he could get them to stop, even in his fragile poor state of mind. She couldn’t give much attention to that though. Questions she’d forced from the forefront of her mind made themselves known again, burning on the tip on her tongue until she had to say something.

“Sans… m-may I ask you a few more questions?” She asked, willing her voice to be gentle again.

He kept his head down but nodded without hesitation, though she noticed his faint trembling worsened slightly. She silently offered him her paw as she had before and felt faintly glad when he once again accepted the gesture. He looked grateful for it now more than ever, squeezing it tight as he set his jaw against another harsh wave of emotion. She idly began to stroke his hand in the same, now familiar, rhythmic manner as she tried to parse through her spiraling thoughts and choose something to focus on.

Where to even begin?

“So… I…” She started eventually, going with the first thought she could give focus. “I have lived through these… “timelines”… and have forgotten everything from them?”

The question was so pitiful, like she was a child repeating something they’d just been told. But she felt she needed to hear it again, if she were ever to begin fully accepting it. Sans showed no signs of exasperation for it though, nodding as he worked up the strength to reply. He dropped his free hand back into his lap, his sockets mostly dry for the moment.

“yah…” He replied weakly. “every time o-one of the anomalies reset, you and every other monster lose your memories… though you all seem to k-keep enough of something from them to get that deja-vu feeling you were talking about. i’ve never been a-able to figure out how or why that is…”

She gulped, letting his words drive the point home. True acceptance would surely take some time, but she did feel this new great burden settle over her soul, no longer pushed away by denial. The claws on her free paw curled into her knee. Her next words left her before she could even think about them.

“But you do not lose them…” She continued in his stead, voice heavy. “you… you keep your memories…all of them.”

Sans stiffened, skull sinking further. But he still gave a single small nod.

That was it. The thing that had been causing his carefully hidden despair all this time. The thing that plunged him into night terrors every time the sun went down, the reason for his obvious depression, the core source of his struggles that she’d wanted to discover so badly. Never in her wildest dreams could she have imagined anything that came close to  _this_.

She wanted to inundate him with attempted comfort, anything and everything she could offer. But what good would it do it in the face of something so beyond words? There was nothing she could say or do that could make this any better. If what he’d said was true… and as she swore to believe it was, she was just as powerless as he was. That harrowing realization on top of how much her bringing it up had caused him to tense up again, led her to decide to let the issue be for now. Once she was in a better state of mind, she would see to finding some way of approaching it.

For the moment, she, on a whim, leaned forward and pressed her forehead against his. With how much her world seemed to be coming undone around her, her previous reservations on such displays of affection hardly registered at all. She also lifted her free paw to cup the side of his skull, pulling him just a little closer. Her soul did most of the “talking”, carrying all the compassion and sorrow she felt on his behalf. But she did manage to share some quiet words as well, escaping her as little more than a whisper.

“I am so  _so_  very sorry my friend… please… just remember, you are not alone in this anymore… Thank you for telling me, for trusting me. I cannot imagine how hard it was for you.”

All of it prompted the skeleton to shake anew as well as caused his diligent repression of tears to be ruined once more. But his soul answered back to her own, and in it she felt a powerful, sweeping sense of relief. Something had eased inside him, granted it was small and very hesitant, but it still brought a true spark of hope to both of them. There was still much he had yet to tell, but the gravity of the step he’d taken was not lost on her.

They stayed that way for a bit, taking what comfort they could from the other’s presence. He leaned into her touch a bit, nearly letting his sockets fall totally shut. She tenderly used her thumb to swipe away the fresh surge of tears from his face until they ceased again. It took him longer than before to regain control of his emotions and even longer to get himself to stop trembling. Eventually though, both of them felt a fair bit calmer as they recognized the fact that one of the biggest hurdles was now behind them. They both sat back again in order to meet the other’s gaze properly.

“th-thanks tori…” He wheezed after a bit, gripping her paw a little tighter. She understood it as a thanks for everything, in place of all the words he wished to say but couldn’t.  

“You are… most welcome my friend.” She replied softly, tensing a bit as the returning weight of all she’d just heard returned to her.

Sans blinked up at her, expression softening by degrees.

“i… i know you still have questions.” He rasped. “god, i-i can only imagine, h-heh… so, go ahead, i-it seems to work out better this way...”

She worried her lip with her fangs a bit, eyeing his exhausted, miserable form warily.

“Are you sure? You have put yourself through a lot to tell me this… Do you not wish to rest for a while?”

A hoarse wheeze of a chuckle met her words and he gave her paw another squeeze.

“i’ll make do, at least for a b-bit longer. it would be real shitty of me to give you an e-existential crisis, expect to you b-believe in it all, and then not even explain anything further…” He said, a small, strained smile working its way across his face.

Hesitation still gripped her tight, but the truly insistent questions hammering at her subconscious eventually led her to give in.

“Very well, but feel free to stop me anytime.” She replied softly.

She tapped the claws of her free paw against her knee, thinking hard. It didn’t take her long to settle on what to ask first, casting her thoughts back to their earliest meetings. The days when he was only a voice behind a door.

“Sans… if you have been living through these… these “resets”… does that mean that the first time we met at the Ruins door was not actually… the first time we met?” She asked, scarlet eyes glassy.

His eyelights wavered but he did not drop his gaze, only gave her a small nod and let his poor excuse of a grin fall.

“yah… it was actually the fifth time, if my shit memory s-serves…” 

Toriel felt her soul clench and a bitter chill run down her spine. The fifth?  _Five_  times? That day where she’d first heard him knocking on the door, that day she remembered so fondly, it had already happened five times before?

“H-how…?” She stuttered, before forcing evenness into her voice again. “How did you act so convincingly? I never suspected once that you already knew me… You seemed so genuine with everything you did. Your jokes, your questions, the stories you told me… You never gave an indication that-”

She stopped, a memory coming back to her with a jolt. The memory that arguably had started her entire mission of finding some way of helping her friend in the first place.

_heh… you told that one last time…_

All of sudden, that odd comment of his that had haunted her for so long, finally made perfect sense. She had told the joke he was referring to in another “timeline” that she could not remember, but he could. It made her mind reel with instinctual denial, but she knew it was the truth. There was no other explanation. She looked down at him with wide eyes and covered her mouth with her free paw. That expression quickly melted into despair on his behalf once more.

“guess you’re remembering o-one of the times i slipped up back then, huh?” He asked, lowering his gaze momentarily.

“i’m sorry if it makes you s-sad to hear… but i was kinda just… repeating what i’d said during previous timelines, stuff i knew would help rebuild o-our friendship every time. course, you always did find some way to surprise me… heh.”

He paused for a moment, eyelights showing a faint spark of warmth as he met her gaze again.

“at the p-point i was at when i first met you, i never sought out any new friendships… what w-was the point if they were just going to forget me come the next reset, y’know? i only gave any effort towards my bro, and sometimes those who knew me long enough to not be affected… but even that w-was pretty damn rare.”

His grip on her paw tightened a little, and the lightest bit of a cyan blush colored his cheekbones.

“but… when i first met y-you by chance… I found that i just couldn’t keep that up. as much as it h-hurt to have to reintroduce myself to you each time, i kept coming back. you w-were just… i dunno… so great… spending time with you took my mind off it a-all and eventually i realized that i really cared about ya… in a way i hadn’t cared for someone besides my bro in a l-long, long time. i couldn’t stand the idea of losing your friendship. and that's no small feat for me. so i made myself go through with it every r-reset… even if, admittedly, it took longer to get myself to do it each time.”

Eyelights dimming again, he lowered this gaze to his lap and shame crept into his voice.

“this l-last one was… real hard for me... i almost gave up… i was just so tired and the idea of having to go through it all again was so overwhelming. but thank the stars i did… because it wasn’t too long after that, that uh… a n-new anomaly replaced the old one, and the reset point w-was moved up to the moment they fell. that meant us knowing each other, and everything else before then, was set in stone and couldn’t be erased. only what came after. More r-resets came from the new anomaly of course, but i never had to totally start over with you again.”

He trailed off after that, faint grin uncertain as he forced himself to meet her eyes.

“sorry… k-kinda rambled there. did you understand all that?” He asked.

Toriel blinked, still processing all she’d just heard. She was surprised to find that, despite everything, a bit of warmth had returned to her soul. His words had been soul-crushing, but to hear just how much their bond meant to him, that he would be willing to play out their first meeting so many times just to keep it intact… It was enough to bring tears to her eyes, though she was sure not to let her emotions get away with her. Not now. That last part he’d said carried with it implications that chilled her to the bone, but, perhaps a touch selfishly, she focused on the part that had returned some levity to her soul.

“Y-yes… I understood it, my friend.” She said, pausing to wipe at her eyes with her sleeve. “I am… so very glad you kept deciding to knock on my door. I am touched, truly.”

The tiny smile on his face widened ever so slightly at that and his sockets eased shut for a moment.

“yah… i’m glad i did too…”

The warmth that the turn of conversation brought them was short lived, but still very much appreciated. As expected though, the oppressive veil of her newly altered perception of reality didn’t take long to envelop her again. She wasn’t sure she’d be able to fully escape it for quite some time.

A few minutes passed before another question rose in her throat, this one chilling her soul with grief.

“Sans if… if the humans could… “reset” … why did they not escape the underground…? Why did they all… die? You said they could go back at will, yes? R-redo things if they needed to… If that is the c-case, then… why?”

She was unable to keep her voice from shaking again, though she was careful to keep it from worsening beyond that. Sans looked up at her briefly with sympathy in the pale lights of his eyes, then lowered his gaze downwards again.

“i… i don’t know…” he replied quietly. “i never met an anomaly who died for good like they did. i can only guess but… maybe they just… gave up at some point? maybe they tried and tried and still couldn’t find a way out that worked for them, maybe they couldn’t reset after death or… maybe didn’t know how? i’m really sorry tori… i don’t have a good answer.”

Toriel felt as though her soul was being squeezed, and was unable to keep a few more tears from running down into her fur on her cheeks. Beyond the mournful sorrow his words brought out, they also reignited her feelings of shock.

‘Th-the huma- or… um… anomalies as you say, they c-could come back from  _death_  with this power?” She croaked, eyes wide.

Sans stiffened a bit, expression tightening.

“damn… uh… guess i failed to mention that huh?” He said with a sigh, rubbing at his skull with his free hand. “figures, i’ve been utter shit at handling this…”

 When she didn’t respond to his comment, he just replied to her question with another slow nod.

“yah, they can. or at least the two i dealt with directly… they definitely could… and did… many times.”

He paused, eyelights going fuzzy at the edges as it seemed he was becoming lost in his memories. The pale lights wavered slightly with what looked like fear, and she could feel the emotion radiating from his soul as well. It took a while for him to continue. 

“though, both of their situations were pretty unusual… flowey being what he is, and frisk, well- “

He abruptly cut himself off, eyelights shrinking to pinpricks as those names escaped him. He clamped a hand over his mouth and shrank back from her, beginning to sweat profusely. The room suddenly felt ice cold.

Toriel couldn’t say anything, the full weight of it all bearing down on her without mercy. Deep down, she’d known. She’d figured it out. The clues had been everywhere. But she had done what she could to deny it or not think about it. There was no way to do either of those things now. The ones who had tormented her friend so terribly, scarred him so deeply, were the two children she cared for. Her beloved human child Frisk and the mysterious flower monster Flowey.

Despite that realization fully taking hold, her mind still whirled to find some way his words could be false, hoping against all odds he could somehow be mistaken or that she had misheard. But his expression said it all, and any lingering doubt she could have clung to shriveled and died. It felt as though her soul was truly about to break.

She could only sit there, frozen, as hot tears welled and poured down her face. In the blur of colors her vision became, her mind conjured the image of Frisk, smiling sweetly up at her. Her child was so kind, so considerate, so full of empathy and compassion. How could they be responsible for resetting their world again and again? How could they erase everyone’s memories and knowingly put Sans through something so traumatizing? And worse… Sans had mentioned timelines where he died, where everyone died. Those were his exact words. Meaning that Flowey almost certainly, and even Frisk, had… had…

“t-tori… tori listen t-to me okay…” Sans voice met her ears, but he sounded far away.

She didn’t move, eyes still glazed over. It was only when she felt his phalanges curl around her cheeks and gently lift her face to meet his gaze did she snap back to reality.

“toriel…”

She blinked, vision clearing ever so slightly. In all the time they’d known each other, he had never called her by her full name. She was always “tori” a nickname she loved ever so dearly. But there was something about hearing him call her that… and it was impactful enough to distract from the roaring of her inner thoughts. Her eyes re-focused, giving him her full attention.

“listen, f-frisk is  _not_  a bad kid.” He insisted, pale eyelights wavering. “they did some bad things, some really,  _really_ bad things. but they are just a kid tori, n-no kid should ever be given the kind of power they have. they can’t be expected to always make the right choices, no matter how good-natured they are. that kind of power is corrupting, it makes them feel like nothing they do h-has real consequences. that detachment mixed with curiosity is like a poison. and on top of all that...”

He trailed off briefly and she could feel the fear in his soul spike again.

“there’s something in the k-kid’s head tori… something that talks to them… i… i… can’t explain it but they aren’t… alone… i think it’s why they had an easier time getting through the underground than the others…”

His grip tightened faintly and he shook his head, clearly trying to refocus.

“anyway, the point is, deep down frisk is a good kid. they regret all the bad shit they did, they’ve told me so a million times, bawling their eyes out and promising me they’d never r-reset again. all that. they really do love us, and knew the best way to free everyone by the end of it all. they knew the path to the best outcome. and even the bad things they did had some level of u-understandable intent. they wanted to know everything there was to know about our world… in order to help that… that flower…”

His words cut off again as he had to stop to, in a metaphorical sense, “catch his breath.” His chest heaved and he stared into her eyes, clearly searching for her reaction. She could only blink back at him, absorbing his words and letting the newfound knowledge fall into place with everything else.

“Flo…wey?” She heard herself say, despite not truly intending to speak aloud.

The skeleton nodded, clearly relieved to hear her voice again. Though the mention of the flower summoned yet another sudden pulse of fear from him though, dulling his expression quickly. He loosened his grip on her head, letting his hands go mostly limp but keeping them in place.

 “yah… that flower… h-he’s…h-h-he’s…” He grit his teeth, sweating even more.

There was an odd mix of fear, guilt and even… pity? sympathy? in the lights of his eyes as he looked at her. If it were possible for a skeleton to appear pale, he certainly would have at that point. Eventually though, he released all the breath he was holding as a heavy sigh and shook his head.

“n-no… it’s not my place to tell you…. i’m sorry… that kid is real hard to understand or g-get along with… but there  _is_ a reason frisk sees good in him. and as much as i may have my… serious issues with him… he has a right to h-his secrets too… th-that’s all i can tell you. i’m sorry.”

With that, he gave her a long, terribly sad look before stepping forward and wrapping his arms around her neck in a tight embrace. It took a long time, but eventually, in an almost robotic manner, she returned the hug, slipping her arms around him. He, likely subconsciously, ran his phalanges through the fur on the back of her neck as he spoke again.

“sorry f-for sounding like a major hypocrite…” He began, voice weak. “but… d-don’t give up on those two because of this, okay?”

That drew her out of her shocked state a little more, long ears turning slightly to listen better. Her near-hysteric thoughts went quiet for the moment and her friend’s voice became the only sound of importance.

“the love you’ve shown them has m-made a difference, more so than you’ll ever know. especially with frisk. y-you were the only one who was willing to go against the king and show the kiddo kindness from the moment they fell. no one else was even half as brave to do something like that. if it weren’t for y-you, i woulda never given them a chance either…”

She blinked, and her scarlet eyes softened. His words stirred that small spark of warmth within her once more. Something about hearing such honest compliments from him as before helped her regain her composure. She was vaguely aware of the fact the tears had stopped too. All her attention remained on him though, as he was quick to keep talking.

“despite everything, the kiddo carried all that kindness you gave them, they never forgot. it was a big part of why they chose to free everyone in the end, because they had gained love, and it all started with you. i t-told em as much whenever i saw them… take care of yourself kid… because someone really cares about you.”

He said that last part with a bit of fondness to his tone. It died quickly though as it seemed the true nature of the conversation hit him again. A sudden shudder from him prompted Toriel to give him a gentle squeeze in response. His soul reflected his momentary surprise at her actions, likely thinking she was still too out of it to pick up on his unease. Relief replaced the surprise tinging his magic, but he still took a while longer before he spoke again.

“just… don’t let this destroy all that.” He said at last, voice weak. “i kn-know you won’t but... i still feel like i h-had to say it… you’re the best mother those kids could have, r-remember that, okay?”

With that entreat, it suddenly felt as though her soul was in her throat. He’d said something similar before, but it hit harder this time, perhaps due to her poor state of mind. The gratitude she felt for it was the same though, cutting through the fog within her mind and giving her the strength to speak again.

“I… I w-would never t-turn away from them… I promise…” She rasped, her voice carrying with it, fittingly, a faint spark of determination. “and… t-thank you... Sans… I… just… thank you…”

Saying that last part nearly brought back the tears, but she had the mental clarity again to quell her emotions to a manageable level. Sans tightened his grip on her in reply, voice dropping until it was barely above a whisper.

“y-you’re welcome t…”

They stayed wrapped up in that embrace for some time after that, totally silent apart from the soft, shaky sound of their breathing. Toriel’s mind could only parse so much of the new information that it had absorbed. Everything had fallen into place within it, all of it had been accepted as true, but giving any one element focus was far too much for her thoroughly exhausted mind.

Part of her wanted to collapse into sleep, but the lingering shock and terror clawing at the edges of her thoughts kept her wide awake. She sorted through what she could, drawing strength from the presence of her friend’s nearby soul. It went on that way until Sans eventually carefully released her and stepped back to meet her eyes.

In many ways, he looked to be a mirror for how she felt. Exhaustion and despair were clear in his expression, with little to no effort to mask it on his part. The aspect that differed from her however, was that under all of that, there was that same feeling of relief she’d picked up on earlier. Telling her all this had taken lifted some of the enormous weight off of his fragile soul at long,  _long_  last. He clearly wasn’t letting himself put too much stock in it, but the effect it had on him was just significant enough to be noticed.

That weight had to go somewhere though, and she had been the willing listening ear happy to take it on. Now that it was there on her own soul though, and so much more severe, so much more  _personally_  devastating than she could have imagined, she found it much harder to find any reason for relief. It was only happiness for her friend’s sake and the fact that the worst of it likely now laid behind them, that brought her soul any fraction of peace.

Sans noticed her sad state she was in, clear in the way the pale, wavering lights of his eyes looked upon her. He sighed softly and wrapped his arms around himself as that faint spark of relief was dulled by guilt and remorse. She felt terrible for making him feel so bad about all this. None of it was his fault after all, and how he had not been driven mad by keeping all this to himself, she didn’t know. She had gathered what little strength she could muster to try and reassure him about his actions, but he spoke up again before she could.

“tori… you probably need some time to process all this… hell, i think we both do, heh…” He rasped, gripping at the ulnas of his arms tightly.

He looked down at himself and grimaced a bit before giving her a terribly weak excuse for a grin.

“i should probably go shower before anything else though… i’ve uh… kinda sweat through my shirt at this point, heh… which is pretty gross… even for me.”

His vain attempt at humor fell flat, but it still stirred some of that faint warmth in her soul once again. And indeed, he did look like a mess, as she was sure she did as well. He met her eyes again, expression uncertain.

“you… gonna be okay with that? i’ll try and make it quick but… i totally get if you don’t want to be alone right now.”

The question gave her brief pause, but though it took her a moment, she settled decidedly on her answer. Truthfully, she was rather fearful about what would happen when she was left with only her thoughts. But part of her also felt she needed it, if she was going to make any headway in getting over the shock of it all. On top of that, she could tell he was likely feeling the same way. She gave him a weak nod.

“That is fine, my friend…take all the time you need. I should… probably do the same to be honest…” She admitted, internally noting how mussed and unkempt her fur had become.

Before she lingered on that thought too long though, she met his eyes with a touch of seriousness again.

“But Sans… I just… I just want to ensure that you know… You should not feel guilty about telling me all this. It is… v-very painful to hear obviously… and it’s… probably going to take me a while to recover from… but I will in time, and we will get through this, my friend. None of what you told me was your fault… and you will not have to deal with this alone going forward… alright?”

It wasn’t one of her best speeches. In fact, it was downright dismal… but she felt her current state excused that if nothing else. Still, Sans’ expression softened at her words, and she even thought she may have seen a hint of tears welling in his sockets again.

“y-yah… th-thanks tori…” He croaked.

She could tell he wasn’t being fully honest with how much he agreed with her, but the sentiment behind her words had obviously meant a lot to him. The terrible guilt in his eyelights had lessened by degrees, and that was honestly the best she could hope for right now.

“be b-back in a bit.” He said in a quieter voice before disappearing in a bright blue flash.

It took Toriel a while after that to get herself to move off the bed. Now alone, her panicked thoughts had attempted to return with a vengeance, but she had built up enough willpower to keep them from overwhelming her again. Even if it was a painful process, her soul was adjusting to all the new, devastating knowledge that she now carried. She could handle this… She just needed to take it slow.

In just that fashion, she eased herself over the edge of her bed and got to her feet. The usually short walk to her bathroom felt like it took an eternity, and she had to brace herself against the wall at one point to keep herself steady. Eventually she did manage to reach it, twisting the shower knob to start the water and leaning lightly on the counter as she got herself out of her nightgown. The moments she caught her reflection in her bathroom mirror as she did so were somehow even worse than the previous night. She may be immortal, but in that moment, she looked far closer to the ancient, decrepit age she should have been… would have been, had her son been alive.

She shook herself from those thoughts as she stepped into the shower, knowing that surely if she let herself get worked up over her old grief on top of these new shattering revelations, she may very well suffer some sort of mental break. No, she needed to be a bit guarded with her emotions for a while, until she had sufficiently ridden out the shock at least. She stepped under the stream of water and tried to imagine it could somehow wash away all her misery the way it washed the grimy feeling from her fur. It, of course, did no such thing.

She stayed in the shower for a long time. Granted, that wasn’t that unusual, as it was rather necessary for one to take lengthy showers when one was a monster covered in fur,  _white_  fur no less. Still, this felt long even for her. Her movements were sluggish as she washed and once she’d finished she found herself sitting against the shower wall with her knees pulled to her chest. Try as she might, she couldn’t keep the wretched thoughts swirling within her at bay completely.

Her vow she’d made at the start of all this came back to her, to find out whatever ailed her friend no matter the cost. She’d made such an effort to prepare herself for anything he could possibly say, and after what he’d said about Gaster, the reason for his creation and the terrible abuse he’d suffered during his childhood, she had truly thought she was ready for anything. But she wasn’t sure anyone could have been prepared to hear what he had revealed to her. Truly, it was no wonder her friend was as deeply tormented and slow to trust as he was… The fact he wasn’t much,  _much_  worse off, the fact he could be so good at keeping up such a convincing act all this time… that was the true marvel.

And now… she had to carry that same burden as well. Her promise to secrecy meant that she would have to learn to be careful with her words, just as he was, to keep from giving any signs she was keeping such a secret.  She’d have to never utter the words reset or timeline to anyone besides him, as they alone were left to bear this dreaded knowledge. This shared burden. Well them… as well as Frisk and Flowey…

She shivered, despite the warm water thoroughly soaking her fur. The haunting actions of the two children she cared for that her friend had implied to her came back in a rush. Once she was sure she could withstand the distress the thoughts brought her, she allowed herself to think on it while she could. Should she… confront them? Make them explain themselves? Hear their side of the story? Could she even go through with such a thing? All these questions spun through her head with no answer in sight. But another quickly joined them, one that truly made her feel chilled to her soul.

What if Frisk reacted badly to the idea of her knowing? What if it was enough to drive them to… reset? All of this could be taken from them, from everyone, and she wouldn’t even know it had happened at all…

In that moment, she realized she was feeling but a fraction of the terrors her friend faced every single day, and had been facing for stars knows how long…

It was only then she allowed herself to weep again, salty tears mixing with the water from the showerhead above. Her body shuddered with restrained sobs as she wept for her friend’s unimaginable suffering, her own torments old and new, her now corrupted view of the child she loved, and everything else that came with her newly shattered worldview.

She wasn’t sure how long it had taken, but when the crying fit finally released its grip on her and she regained some level of composure, she shakily stood and turned off the water. It was strange but, she did feel a little better. Just enough that she was able to keep her mind quiet once more as she dried her fur with a controlled swirl of fire magic and changed into a comfortable, lilac colored robe. She trudged slowly back to her room after that, pausing in place as she reached the foot of her bed. The two warring sides of her mind began their squabbling again in earnest.

Part of her wanted to collapse back into the sheets and try to find sleep once more, if only to escape from all this for a while as well as ease her exhaustion. But the other side, arguably much more persistent, told her there was no way she’d be able to relax enough to sleep for a while yet. Not with everything going on in her head. If her everyday worries gave her chronic insomnia, it was true foolishness to think she’d be able to avoid it now. But what to do instead? Her instincts told her to go bury herself in mindless chores to distract herself for a while. Though remembering that Sans intended to return to her room kept her paws rooted in place. She certainly felt she needed to be here when he got back.

Settling on that, she began to move to sit on the edge of the bed to wait for him, but paused as a sound met her ears. It was faint, but as she twitched her long ears towards the direction it came from, it became clear what it was. The other shower was still running across the house, the one between Sans’ room and Papyrus’ room. Looks like both of them were taking extra-long showers in lieu of all this. That thought brought a bittersweet feeling to her soul, not sure how she should take the fact that they were proving to be more and more alike in many ways.

Another feeling welled up within her, and although it was an odd time for it to come to her, she accepted it far more easily now. She knew Sans had and probably still worried that sharing all of this with her would drive her to hate him, despite her continual reassurances. And in retrospect, she could understand those fears, given the world shattering nature of it all and the connections that his trauma had to her personally. But he couldn’t have been more wrong. As she had predicted, this had not driven her apart from him. If anything… she felt closer to him than ever and  _that_  feeling burned passionately inside her even more so than before.

She had little time to reflect on that small spark of warmth though. For as she ruminated in those thoughts, they were abruptly cut off. A startlingly loud crashing sound practically shook through the house…  and it had come from the same direction where she knew Sans was.

Before she even realized it, she was already running.

 

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((BEAUTIFUL AND AMAZING fan art for the spanish version of this chapter by Gabriella_Lu/Lau))

 

 


	11. Rinse and Repeat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it continues. Got this one done a little early this week. This chapter was a doozy but I really enjoyed writing it. There will be some notes at the end of this one too, hope you enjoy. 
> 
> Warnings for this chapter: (descriptions/discussion of injuries/scars, implied/partial nudity... kinda. )

Toriel’s rush to the other side of the house went by in a panicked blur. She momentarily skidded on the hardwood floors of the living room before finding far steadier ground in the carpeted hallway. In no time at all she was at the door of the skeleton brothers’ shared bathroom, trying not to choke on her rising panic.

“Sans! My friend, are you alright?!” She called through the door, paw resting hesitantly on the doorknob.

The only sound that answered her back at first was the sound of the still running water inside. But then a barely audible groan met her ears. Her panic spiked and she gave the doorknob a hard twist.

It was locked, and she cursed the fact he had chosen today to actually ensure that, rather than blow it off in a bid of laziness like he usually did. She gripped the doorknob hard. There was a brief moment where she still felt reluctant to barge in on him, but that thought died as quickly as it had come. The only thing that mattered was ensuring her friend was okay.

If he had fallen or been hit by something that fell, his dismally low HP meant it was a much more serious situation than it would be for most monsters. Even minor injuries could prove to be debilitating or even life threatening in his case. She couldn’t wait, she had to get to him now.

“Sans, I-I am coming in.” She announced quickly, before putting all her strength into twisting the door knob until the locking mechanism within the door shattered with a cracking sound.

She flung the broken door open and the sight that greeted her momentarily stole the breath from her lungs. The shower curtain and the rods that held it up were in a twisted heap on the floor, clearly part of what caused the loud noise she’d heard. The other source was the medicine cabinet that appeared to have been knocked off its place on the wall and fallen to the floor, leaving its contents and shards of broken glass everywhere. Beneath all the mess, she could just make out Sans’s small form curled up and shivering on the floor.

“Oh, my friend…” She gasped, before hurriedly but carefully stepping over and beginning to work to free him piece by piece.

As she did so, she performed a frantic CHECK on his stats. The result of it made her soul seize up inside her.

HP: .40/1

That wasn’t good, whatever had happened had cost him over half his HP. And as she pulled away the last bit of shower curtain covering him, she quickly found the damage was reflected in his appearance as well. A thin but still noticeable crack ran from his right eye socket to the back of his skull, with smaller hairline cracks flaring out from it. It looked as though something, likely one of the shower rods, had collided with his skull. There were a few abrasions on some of the upper vertebrae of his spine as well. The way he was so tightly curled also seemed to indicate to her that he’d hurt in his ribcage somewhere as well. The dark emptiness of his sockets that met her eyes, tight with pain, only made the sight all the more harrowing.

It took a great deal of willpower for her to force back the panic and let the adrenaline put her in a state of controlled calm. The situation was far too serious for her to be losing her grip, one wrong move could even potentially prove fatal. She needed to push away everything else and focus on her getting her friend out of the hazardous mess safely and then get him stabilized. As she lightly brushed glass shards off of him, she dug deep and got herself to speak.

“Sans, can you hear me?” She asked, surprising herself with how strong her voice was.

He had not reacted at all to her presence before this, but her question did prompt him to turn his head a bit towards her. It was hard to tell if he was looking at her or not without the lights of his eyes there to indicate it, but the movement sparked a bit of relief in her. That relief was furthered as his voice floated up to her, small and terribly hoarse.

“t-tori… i…” was all he managed to get out before he tensed up again, racked with pain.

“Shhh… okay.” She soothed, gingerly picking another shard out from where it had been caught between two vertebrae. “Thank you for answering my friend, but you do not need to talk anymore if it hurts. Just stay still and try to relax. I am here. You are going to be okay.”

Another low groan was all that met her words, and her soul tightened hard with sympathy. Weak as he was, the pain caused from his wounds seemed to be amplified more than they would be for the average monster. If she had been struck on the head by a shower rod the worst it would cause would be maybe a tender bump and a headache, but in his case, it had been enough to actually crack his skull. It was all a harsh reminder of the true severity of her friend’s fragility.

Usually he was far more conscientious of his personal weakness. Even when Sans was at his laziest she could tell there was always some part of him watching everything around him closely, some part that was always a little on edge. Even when he was heavily intoxicated, though he did seem to avoid ever drinking alone. Not to mention, surprising as it was, he had perhaps the best reflexes she had seen of any monster, able to move like a flash when he needed to avoid trouble. So, to find he had been hurt like this under such mundane circumstances was concerning on a whole other level. It likely meant the gravity of their conversation before was affecting him much more intensely than he had been letting on.

It probably only took minutes to get all the glass shards off of him, but it felt to Toriel like it had taken hours. She kept at it until she was sure that she’d removed them all and that there was nothing else in the direct vicinity that could cause him further harm should she move him. It was only then she grabbed a large towel off the rack behind her and gently laid it over him before scooping him from the floor ever so gently into her arms. He remained tightly locked up in his curled position once secured in her grasp, and Toriel could feel the waves of fierce pain and even some fear emanating from his soul. It was almost enough to shatter her built up focus, but she stayed the course.

Only stopping momentarily to shut off the still flowing water from the shower, she left the room in a hurry, leaving the mess behind them. She paused a moment in the hallway, head whipping from side to side as she tried to decide where was the best place to take him for what she had to do next. Eventually she just settled on what was closest, Sans’ own room. Her paws carried her the short distance in a matter of seconds.

Once there, she had little time to spare any thoughts towards the disaster zone that her friend’s room was. But it was still noticeable, especially when it slowed her progress towards his bed. She had to step over strewn about socks, food wrappers, crumpled papers, old books, other various bits of clothing as well as things she couldn’t identify on sight. Papyrus had claimed to her once that Sans’ old room underground had been even worse, to the point there had been, in his words, a “trash tornado” that seemed ever present in the corner. What he meant by that exactly she did not know, and she had no room in her mind at the moment to ponder it.

She was faintly surprised though to find his bed actually did have the sheets on it this time, even if it was only still covering 3 of the corners. She thanked the stars she had successfully convinced Sans to let her buy him a proper bed with a frame and a better mattress back when they’d first arrived on the surface. If she had to treat his wounds on that filthy old thing he’d brought up from his previous home, it would have surely complicated things. Sans’ current bed was nowhere near pristine, but it could pass for a sterile hospital bed in comparison. 

She carefully went to her knees beside it and laid him down on the wrinkled sheets. It was just low enough that it made her task easier, allowing her to lean over him and work on him at a better angle. She summoned up a pale green glow around her paws, channeling her practiced healing magic and focusing it to her fingertips. As she did, Sans just laid there, a motionless knot of bones on the bed. His faintly open sockets stared blankly at nothing in particular and the only sign of life from him was the faintest rattle that came with every small breath he drew in.

As distressing as the sight was, Toriel knew not to let it panic her any more than the situation already had. His reactions to his injuries were severe due to his inherit weakness and perhaps other factors… but his condition would surely improve exponentially once she restored his HP. That was her first priority.

But as she started to pull away the towel in order to see the damage to his ribcage, he drew back and curled up tighter, sockets narrowing a bit with some emotion she couldn’t quite distinguish. She pulled her paw back, at first thinking she’d hurt him somehow, but quickly realizing that was not the case. She hesitantly laid her paw back on his side and, when he didn’t react badly again, lightly stroked him, ensuring her touch was as gentle as possible.

“My friend… please dear, I know it hurts, but I need to see where the damage is to heal the area properly.” She said, keeping her tone soft.

Her implorations went unacknowledged as he didn’t relax by an inch. His expression remained tight and unreadable, sweat beginning to run down his skull. She worried her lip with her fangs, unsure of what to do. Her mind raced as the green magic enveloping her paws swirled anxiously.

Was this an embarrassment thing? She doubted it. Sans was a skeleton, there wasn’t really anything he should feel that shy about her seeing. Even if he did have some hesitations over modesty here, that didn’t explain the truly alarming look on his face.

A touch of frustration welled up inside her, but it was too overwhelmed by concern to affect her for long. Reluctantly, she decided to leave him be in regard to the injuries on his ribcage that he seemed so eager to hide. Instead, she moved a paw to rest on his skull, gauging his reaction. He didn’t flinch this time and she felt a twinge of relief.

“I am going to heal the cracks on your skull and your spine, okay? I will have to look at your other injuries afterward though.” She said, a bit of sternness working its way into her voice.

He made no objections, staying still as she began to focus her healing magic on the largest crack, ghosting her paw over it. The green mana quickly seeped into the split bone and brought the two sides of the crack together. It left a faint scar where the full crack had been, marking itself as a slightly darker discolored line against the white of his skull. The smaller cracks nearly vanished completely with just a little attention, only a few leaving any trace of their existence. All the temporary scars would disappear with time and a few more treatments. They were a bit disconcerting to look at, but what she’d accomplished would have to do for now.

While she had worked, she had kept a careful eye on his HP all the while.

HP: .40/1

HP: .45/1

HP: .50/1

HP: .55/1

That is what is settled on as she finished up with the wounds on his skull. It continued increasing as she shifted her focus to the abrasions on his vertebrae.

HP: .55/1

HP: .60/1

HP: .65/1

HP: .70/1

As the scrapes there dulled to the same faint scars, she found that his HP gain had stalled. Clearly the damage he was keeping hidden from her was to blame for the rest of it. Her paws hovered over him for a moment, as she hesitated on what to do next. He had to get stabilized, there was no way around that. She could try to get him to eat something to make up the difference, but that would do little for the pain or the potentially permanent scarring. No, she had to ensure this was done right.

She paused for a bit though, noticing with a spark of relief how much less tense he had become from what she’d managed to do so far. That relief was furthered as his sockets opened a bit more and his pale, wavering eyelights returned. Now she could definitely tell he’d been looking at her, but his expression was still quite guarded. Despite that, she could still make out gratitude in those little lights as he looked up at her.

“th-a-nks… t…” He croaked, voice catching a bit midway.  

She didn’t break from her focused state, but did soften her eyes and run a paw lightly over his side again in response.

“Of course dear, no need to thank me.” She murmured. “You probably should not talk just yet though. Not at least until I see to it that _all_ of your wounds are attended to.”

Her emphasis on that word was not lost on him and he shrank inwards again. This time though, now that his eyelights were back, she recognized the primary motivating emotion behind it was fear. There was a little self-consciousness there as well, but predominately it was fear driving the response. Not fear of her or her intentions, but perhaps of her reaction to the extent of the wound? No doubt, he was hiding something again and it made her own soul feel heavy with trepidation.

“Sans, please… I have to, my friend. There is nothing to worry about. It will only take a minute and then you will feel much better.” She attempted to reassure him.

The skeleton remained defiant though, and shuddered before forcing a reply of his own.

“n-no… i…” He drew in a strained breath before he could continue. “m’ g-good now… j-just go… i c-can handle thi-is…”

She blinked, scarlet eyes saddening at his words. It was hard not to feel a sting at his sudden rejection of her help, after he’d been so open with her recently. She mirrored his tenacity though, shaking her head firmly.

“I cannot do that. You are in no condition to be trying to heal yourself. Plus, you have told me before that healing magic is not your strong suit. You said, and I quote, “my healing magic is the worst, it’s all just bare _bones_.”

For that last part, she, a touch comically, recounted his words imitating his usual lazy monotone. Her attempt at levity didn’t seem to have any effect on him though, his expression and posture remaining just as closed off as before. She could tell that he knew she was right, but that didn’t mean he was going to acknowledge it. A worried sigh escaped her and her eyes became pleading and a touch pained.

“My friend… I… I cannot leave you like this, surely you understand. Please dear, just let me help you… You know you have nothing to fear from me.”

At that, Sans seem to recognize she was not going to back down from this. Though he may have known it all along. The defiance in his expression died, giving way to empty acceptance. It reminded her too much of when she’d said those terrible words to him beneath the willow tree. The hopelessness there was the same.

“whatever… f-fine… s’not l-like it matters a-at this point anyway…” He muttered, small form finally uncurling and going limp under the large towel.

The defeat in his tone cut her deeply and it certainly wasn’t the way she wanted him to accept her help. Still, it was the go ahead she needed. Before she acted on it though, she instinctively reached over to cup his skull gently in her paw. When he didn’t pull away, she ran her thumb down the side of his cheekbone, passing over the faint scar of the freshly healed crack. He didn’t meet her eyes, but leaned a bit into her touch.

“I am sorry that this is so hard for you…” She soothed, taking a deep breath before continuing. “There is something there you do not want me to see, is there not?”

His sockets nearly fell totally shut again, and she felt him shiver from more than just the nagging pain.

“you kn-know bout it all now… s-so i guess it shouldn’ phase ya much…” He rasped, curling his phalanges into the bedsheets below him. “b-but… its bad… d-don’t say i didn’ warn ya…”  

The trepidation building in her soul swelled to become intense dread. Oh stars above, she wasn’t sure how many more devastating revelations she could handle today. On top of Sans getting hurt like this as well, hadn’t they both been through enough? But from the way her friend spoke about it, it sounded like if she wished to heal him, she’d have to confront whatever it was he was hiding. She did her best to hang on to the strength brought forth by her nurturing instinct, no longer able to rely on adrenaline. If what she had to endure was for the sake of helping her friend, she could do it. She had to.

“I understand.” She replied quietly, before gently pulling her paw back and summoning up her healing magic again.

“Could you roll on your back for me dear? This should only take a minute or so.”

He sluggishly heeded her request, wincing just a bit as the tender vertebrae on his spine settled against the sheets. Decidedly, he turned his head away from her, facing the wall the bed was set against. That certainly didn’t help her nerves, but she let him be, taking a moment to attempt to mentally prepare herself for what she was about to see. She no longer had the confidence that she’d be ready for anything after what had transpired earlier, but she still tried to steel herself as best she could. Carefully, and with a slight tremble in her paws, she pulled back the towel that was covering him enough to expose his ribcage.

Even with her efforts at preparing herself, the sight that met her still caused her soul to seize up violently with shock. It wasn’t enough to tear at her psyche like the things he had revealed to her before. But still, she could only stare, frozen for a while as she took in what she was seeing.

She quickly spotted the wounds that he’d kept hidden from her. Two of his ribs had small lacerations in them that were rather raw looking, likely from falling on or rolling over into glass shards. But they weren’t the reason the sight of his ribcage was so shocking. No, that distinction belonged to the horrible, massive scar running across it.

It stretched from the edge of his right shoulder blade all the way down to the top of the left side of his pelvis in a harsh dark line. The gash was fairly deep and bones it cut through were highly discolored in the places where they’d healed over. It truly looked as though someone had tried to slice him in half. Unlike the small cuts, this scar was clearly old. She could only imagine how horrific the wound had looked when he’d first been afflicted with it.

That thought pushed through her shock enough to get her mind moving again, raising a question to the forefront. How could he have survived this? It just… wasn’t possible given his low HP. An attack that would leave a scar this bad would _kill_ most monsters. The question burned on her tongue, but she swallowed hard and forced it back as she willed herself to breathe. Before she addressed that, she needed to take care of the matter at hand.

Refocusing the flow of healing magic, she leaned over and gingerly laid her paws over the fresh wounds. Just like with the others, the cuts re-fused into faint, temporary scars as she worked the green mana through them. His HP responded in turn, finally climbing back up to full. She ensured this with a final CHECK.

HP 1/1

She let out a relieved sigh, coming out far shakier than she expected. She wanted to move to cover him back up now that the task of healing his wounds was complete, but her paws felt rooted in place, hovering just over his ribcage and that truly awful scar. Sans’ voice broke the silence then, far stronger now with his HP restored. Any lingering unevenness was the result of his nerves rather than pain.

“what, nothing?” He asked, a touch of bitter sarcasm in his tone. “damn, i must have really scarred ya then with everything else for that to not warrant any reaction…”

He sounded vaguely detached again, and Toriel began to get the sense he was retreating back into his usual state of distant apathy. She could hardly blame him, given the weight of it all, but it still managed to hurt a little as before. The green glow about her paws dissipated as she worked up the strength to reply.

“Of course it is terribly sh-shocking my friend… I do not know h-how-” She cut herself off, before impressing herself by continually more confidently a few moments later.

“W-we can discuss that in a minute… Right now, we need to talk about what happened to you. How are you feeling? Does anything still hurt?”

The skeleton gave a low chuckle in reply, finally rolling back over to meet her gaze. He made no effort to fully cover himself with the towel again though, meaning she was still left facing part of that dreadful scar.

“nah, you fixed me up good. still a bit sore and all, but hey that’s what i get for being a damn idiot amiright?” He replied, false smile stretching across his face. “least you were around to keep me from dying from a goddamn shower rod. what a way that would have been to go, heh.”

Toriel did not laugh of course, only felt concern for him gripping her soul more and more. She reached out a paw and laid it over his hand, giving it a tender squeeze.

“My friend, please, be serious now. Just tell me what happened.” She implored, scarlet eyes weary.

His smile stiffened and his faint eyelights darted away from her once again. But he composed himself quickly, his voice still carrying that forcibly laid-back quality.

“eh… i guess i was just getting too lost in thought in there. couldn’t think straight. kept worrying about how the kiddo’s gonna react when they figure out that you know now. and they’ll find out for sure, that kid is perceptive as hell. i started feeling real light-headed, so i got out. but then i saw… something… in the mirror.

His eyelights became fuzzy momentarily, and some tension returned to his body.

“What… did you see?” She asked, voice trembling slightly.

“heh heh…” He wheezed out a chuckle. “my mind likes to play tricks on me when i let myself get all worked up… basically, i thought i saw the kid behind me. they weren’t, obviously. but that didn’t matter much in the moment. i guess i blacked out or something… because next thing i knew you were digging me out of all that mess in there.”

Toriel felt her soul pang harshly for him, realizing that the two of them had been plagued by similar worries, even if their reactions to it had differed. The way it had affected him was rather extreme, but she knew from experience what it meant.

“You had a panic attack…” She murmured softly, more to herself than anything.

Sans didn’t reply immedietly, but gave his shoulders a little shrug.

“eh, guess so, maybe. musta fell and brought the shower curtain and everything else down with me. or my magic reacted weird. whatever the case, sure didn’t end well for me huh? a real di- _glass_ -ster.”

As before, the pun didn’t bring her any amusement, it somehow just made her sadder. Hearing him acting so flippant about such a distressing situation felt so wrong after he’d made such progress being honest with her. She wished to say something on the matter, but felt that that could wait until she got some answers regarding the primary focus of her thoughts at the moment, that utterly terrible scar. She settled for letting her pointed silence serve as her response to his attempted humor.

“I see… I am truly sorry my friend…” She began again softly, eyes glancing briefly at the visible portion of the scar. “Would you… also be willing to tell me how _that_ happened to you…?”

The touch of sternness in her response was not lost on him and his grin momentarily faltered. It was only then that he pulled the large towel over himself fully again, before sluggishly sitting up on the bed to face her. His recognition of her exasperation did not deter him from keeping up his apathetic attitude.

“what, this ol thing?” He quipped, squeezing the towel over the spot that was now covering the grisly mark. “let’s just say, once upon a time, I got into a scuffle with someone who wasn’t very _knife_.”

She felt a terrible chill run through her at that. A knife? Someone had done that to him with a knife?! It looked severe enough to be from a wicked set of claws or even a sword. But a knife? The person behind it would have had to strike him with an inconceivable amount of force for it to slice through the bones the way it had. Or perhaps his natural weakness was to blame. Either way, the idea made her feel ill.

And beyond that, his words had summoned up an image in her mind, a flash of a memory… a human child she had cared for long ago and loved dearly, clutching a kitchen knife in their hands, red eyes burning. It took a lot of strength for her to push the image away in order to ask another question she’d be putting off.

“Sans… H-How… How did you survive that?” She stammered, voice heavy.

Her question was enough to chip away at his mask of composure again, leaving his expression more clearly unnerved. A long, disquieting silence followed, with the skeleton’s eyelights once again avoiding her gaze. When he did manage to reply, his voice was low and gravelly.

“i didn’t…”  He muttered, just barely audible.

“Wha-“  She started to reply, but he repeated himself, louder this time.

“i _didn’t_ survive it tori...”

He punctuated the statement by looking up at her again, eyelights guttering out once more. His dark sockets bore into her as her mind reeled, and it took a moment for the implications of his words to truly set in.

“Th-then… this happened… in another timeline…?” She asked, gripping the side of the bed tightly with her free paw.

He nodded listlessly, and confusion worked its way into her soul along with the other chaotic emotions.

“But… if that is the case… why is it still there? Do your wounds not get “reset” as well?”

Sans dropped his gaze again with a heavy sigh, pulling the towel a little tighter around him.

“they usually do… but stuff like this… stuff that’s _fatal…_ it uh, tends to stick around for a few runs before fading away… though if the kid keeps their word… i might be stuck with it for good.”

Toriel gulped, scarlet eyes shining with sympathy. Hesitantly, she reached out a paw and laid it gently over Sans’ hand, over the spot she knew the scar lied beneath it. Sans blinked in surprise but did not seem to mind, even appeared to relax a bit more under her touch.

“Does it… hurt?” She asked, finding it hard to speak past the sudden lump in her throat.

Sans shook his head, sockets remaining utterly dark.

“nah… bad as it looks, i don’t feel it at all. it’s easy to forget it’s even there sometimes. It’s just a scar, don’t worry bout it.”

She wasn’t sure she could honor that request. She was an inherently worrisome monster, and there was no way something as upsetting as this could be left ignored. Her soul ached deeply as she realized the cruel, almost poetic nature of it all. That Sans was left so terribly scarred by his past, both mentally and physically.

She pulled back her paw then, resting both of them on the edge of the bed as another terrible thought rose up in her mind. This one was not a realization per se, as she had already come to terms with the fact that it had happened, but it was still a terrible connecting of dots that she wanted so badly to deny. Denial would get neither of them anywhere at this point though, she had to know.

“Frisk did this to you… did they not?”

Her voice came as a broken murmur, laced with the pain of a mother forced to face the true extent of her child’s sins. Even without looking at him, she could feel her words cause him to flinch. She couldn’t bear to face him in that moment, so she was forced to wait for a verbal reply. It took quite some time before it came.

“y-yah…” Was all he could manage to say, nearly mirroring her own despair.

There was an inflection to his voice that indicated there was more to it than that, but for whatever reason he held it back. In the inevitable silence that followed, no tears came to her eyes, not this time. She had cried herself out before, leaving her only feeling hollow and like her soul was being drained of all vitality. The image in her mind of Chara with the knife came back to her, only this time their face blurred between Frisk’s and their own. It was even more difficult than before to banish it again. Her head hung low and her claws curled into the sheets of the bed.

“Do they know you still…?”

She trailed off, but he understood her intention and answered again in turn.

“n-no they don’t…” He said softly, voice still strained. “and there’s no need for them to find out. them knowing it’s still there would just… complicate things more…”

Toriel nodded subconsciously, shoulders sagging further. After another few moments, she willed herself to speak again.

“I am so sorry…” She croaked, feeling terribly foolish for her endless repetition of that phrase, but finding no other words to convey the vicious guilt that gripped her.

“it’s not your fault tori, there’s nothing you need to apologize for.” Came his quiet reply, and she could hear the faint rattle that came with a particular hard shudder.

“Yes there is…” She replied miserably. “I… I begged you to watch over Frisk in my place back then… and they were doing things like _this_ to you… And I said so many other things in my ignorance that hurt you… Like what happened yesterday. I know I could not have known… But I still must apologize my friend. It does not change the fact my actions have caused you pain. I pray you can forgive me…”

There was another bit of silence after that, before a soft creaking sound met her ears as Sans shifted forward on the lumpy mattress towards her. She then felt his hand rest on her shoulder, before, perhaps in a moment of bravery, he moved to lay it against her cheek instead.

“tori… you know i don’t blame you for any of that. and like i said before, frisk is not a bad kid. in the end, i’m glad you convinced me to give them a chance. but… if you need to hear me say it. i forgive you, okay?”

Her soul stirred with some warmer emotion, giving her the will to meet his gaze again. She was faintly glad to see his eyelights had returned, if only a bit. No words she could come up with seemed like they’d match his sentiment, so she settled for wrapping him in a gentle hug, ensuring she was mindful of his sore spots. Her actions seemed to communicate her gratitude well enough.

Though part of her wished to just stay like that for a while, there were still too many concerns buzzing around in her head that she needed to do something about. So, reluctantly, she let him go shortly after and shot him a vain attempt at a smile before beginning to get to her feet. Sans looked up at her with momentary confusion, but relaxed again quickly, seemingly reassured by something in her gaze. Once up, she turned and crossed the room to his absolute mess of a closet.

It took some digging to find everything, as there was, not surprisingly, no organization to be found. The only things hung up properly were the things she herself had put in there the day before. But eventually, she gathered up a full set of clothes for him. It was very much like his more usual outfit, seeing as he didn’t have much in the way of variation when it came to his wardrobe. The only real difference being the hoodie she’d grabbed was one with a light blue to white gradient. She wasn’t entirely sure, but she thought it had been a gift from Frisk at one point. She tried not to let that idea make her shudder as she returned to him, clothes in hand.

“thanks t…” He murmured softly, as she laid them on the bed beside him.

She gave him a weary nod in response and then sat with her back against the bed, giving him some privacy to change while trying to work through her turbulent thoughts. It was all just too much to process right now. While he may have forgiven her, she still felt the guilt weighing down on her soul, along with the enormous weight of everything else she’d been faced with today. She wondered how she would bear facing everyone, especially Frisk, when they she saw them again come Monday.

She was no master of appearing relaxed at all times like Sans was, surely the stress would be written all over her face. And there was no way she’d be able to hide all the damage to the bathroom. She’d have to make up some lie to use as an excuse and she hated lying, especially to her family. But a promise was a promise, and Toriel was a monster who kept her promises if nothing else. She would just have to deal with it and find some way to move on past this, like she always had with every great devastation that entered her life. If his earlier panic attack was any indication, Sans was likely not going to be in a very stable state of mind for a while now as he recovered from all this. He’d need her to be strong for him, and she was determined to do just that.

“you… alright?” Sans’ voice broke her out of her musing, and prompted her to look back at him.

He looked much more comfortable now fully clothed and snug in one of his hoodies. Still, the heaviness in the lights of his eyes signified the falsehood of the small grin on his face. He looked so utterly exhausted…

“More or less…” She replied with a sigh, moving then to get up and sit on the bed beside him.

To her faint surprise, he pressed close to her, as if needing to lean on her to keep himself upright. She did not hesitate to wrap a supporting arm around him and she felt the subtle grateful reaction from his soul. But it was hindered by a growing swirl of other emotions she could feel there, slowly becoming ever more noticeable as his efforts to keep them muted seemed to fail. Her own woes were largely forgotten in that moment, as all of her attention was drawn back to the skeleton beside her.

“Though… I feel that question is one I should be asking you right now, my friend.” She went on quietly, running a paw gently down his arm.

He offered no reply to that, and she felt some tension return to him. That false smile stayed in place though, only going tight at the edges.

“Are… these panic attacks normal for you?” She asked when met with his continued silence.

He seemed to consider the question for a moment, eyelights wavering as he stared downwards at the messy floor. Then he shook his head, stuffing his hands into his pockets in a vain attempt to keep up a casual appearance.

“not really… way back when this all started, yah, but not… recently.”

His jaw clenched a bit and the next part came out far more reluctantly.

“i usually can keep it under control at least… it hasn’t gotten _that_ out of hand in ages…”

Toriel hummed thoughtfully at that, worrying her lip with her fangs slightly.

“Well it is more than understandable, my friend. You have gone through something terribly difficult in telling me everything like you did. You and I both are likely going to be struggling more than usual until we can adjust to all this. But it is nothing to be ashamed of…”

She trailed off briefly, tightening her grip on him by degrees. Silently, she hoped he would take what she intended to say next to heart.

“Though, I think it would help if you try to be more honest with me on how you are feeling. I know that is asking much of you considering all you have already told me. But it seems to me that the way you repress your emotions all the time makes it so when they do overwhelm you, your reaction to it is far worse because of it. I know how very difficult it is to be open about such things. I think we all struggle with that in some way, but if you can at least try and be truthful regarding them with me as a start, I think it will help keep things from getting that bad again.”

As her imploring words ended, he, like before, did not respond to her right away. His grin tightened further, looking more strained by the second. On top of that, she could still detect that odd churning in his soul, driving him to tense up all the more. His eyelights drifted up to her, weak and shaky.

“the hell you want me to say, huh?” He muttered, curling his hands into fists within his pockets. “course i’m screwed up over this, this went about as horribly as it could have. i totally lost it, i hurt you, i broke all that shit and nearly got myself killed in the most idiotic goddamn way, pap is gonna see this mark on my skull and totally freak out and on top of that now there’s no way the kid isn’t going to notice something’s up and they’ll…”

He paused, eyelights flickering, and briefly displaying the true level of his internal distress before he turned away again.

“they… they might n-not take it well tori… it m-might not be what they want for their ideal ending… god i mean…they might… r-reset… i may of d-doomed us all again… and all of this would be for n-nothing…”

There was another dip into silence, and she could feel him trembling once more. As much as she wanted to reassure him, she felt she needed to be quiet for the moment and encourage him to keep talking. It took him a while to do so, struggling to keep his forced smile in place all the while.

“i…i j-just…” His voice came out as a croak as he abruptly pulled his hands out of his pockets and covered his face with them, shaky grin still partially visible as he curled in on himself a bit. The feeling she sensed before coming from his soul continued to build on itself.

“i d-don’t want to lose all this…” He admitted in a broken voice, trembling harder. “i-its never lasted so long before… and i… i’m too used to it now tori… i… i… care a-about all of you too much, i c-can’t just…”

He was cut off as he stiffened further with a choked sound and soon after tears began leaking through his phalanges, spilling down over his exposed teeth and dripping off the bottom of his skull. Like before, he was clearly fighting to keep it from progressing beyond that, not allowing any sound to escape him but the rattle of his bones as he shook. But something was different this time. Something was… breaking inside him.

It was what she’d been feeling all this time, what some part of her had begun to suspect since she found him lying in that mess of glass and debris on the bathroom floor. Everything that had happened recently had been pushing him near the tipping point, but it seemed that this latest incident and all it entailed had simply been too much. Now everything he’d been trying to suppress for so, so very long seemed to sense the cracks in his resilience and was coming back for revenge. It wanted to rip him apart, shatter his soul to pieces rather than be repressed again.

Despite all that, he somehow managed to keep his twisted, false grin in place. He choked out a sound that was probably meant to be a dismissive laugh, but it only came out sounding unhinged and brought with it another wave of tears. Toriel couldn’t maintain her silence a moment more, but she knew she needed to be incredibly careful with her words going forward. The situation could hardly be more delicate.

“Sans…” She spoke his name as gently as she ever had, turning a bit on the bed to face him better and easing him closer to her.

His trembling only seemed to worsen at the sound of her voice, but she could tell she had his attention, even over the internal fervor of his soul.

“It is okay, my friend…” She assured him, voice warm. “it is okay to cry.”

Clearly though, Sans did not agree with her, wordlessly caving in on himself all the more and only fighting it harder. His phalanges dug into his skull and his pitiful grin finally withered. There was a moment where his magic spiked and she thought he might shortcut away, perhaps as a last-ditch effort to save face. But some part of him seemed unable to resist the comfort she was offering him. After a few moments, it prompted him to shakily close the short distance between them.

She didn’t hesitate then to carefully pull him into her lap and wrap her arms securely around his shuddering form, holding him tight against her. The tension in his body stayed desperately intact, but he allowed the embrace without question. She tucked his skull beneath her chin and gave him a gentle squeeze before carefully shifting back a bit to lean against the headboard of the bed.

“Please Sans, do not keep doing this to yourself… do not fight it like this…” She implored, slowly sweeping a paw down his back. “You do not have to pretend for me, my friend… not anymore. Just... let it out… let it all out… You will be okay. I promise dear.”

Her words hung over the two of them like a heavy shroud and she could feel the effect they had on him steadily taking effect. It all came to a head when a violent surge of pain wracked through him and with it, the frail control he had on the emotions ravaging his soul failed him completely, letting them all flood into his magic and through both of them like a tidal wave. The impact was almost utterly overwhelming and she had to summon up the will deep inside her to remain calm.

There were so many, too many different emotions to parse through. Guilt, paranoia, hopelessness, exhaustion, fear, stress, despair... All of it was now free to tear its way through him and there was no stopping it. He just couldn’t fight it back. In that moment, she felt something within Sans’ soul finally snap and give way.

A desperate terror took hold of him then. Seemingly unable to stop himself, he buried his face against Toriel’s neck and freed his arms to cling to her, tightly curling his phalanges into the fabric of her robe as if he were holding on to her for dear life. A horrible, strangled sob escaped him as his façade fractured completely, sending violent tremors throughout his body.

The sound sounded so awful and alien coming from him, and it all but shattered Toriel’s heart. Another tore through him moments after, only increasing in violence, then another and another until he was crying so hard that his small body heaved with every racking sob. Like with most things, he wasn’t loud about it, but it was so very violent that she felt as though the sobs could very well shake him apart.

She understood then, this was undoubtedly the first time he’d allowed himself to break like this in a long, long time. He’d done everything he could to prevent this from happening. He had always kept that smile on his face, distanced himself, repressed it all mercilessly, kept it together for his brother’s sake. Hell, with all that in mind, he may have very well _never_ let himself fall apart to this extent.          

But now, he simply couldn’t fight it any longer, no matter hard he tried. He had reached his breaking point and she could only thank the stars he didn’t have to endure it alone. Still, she could feel his shame and self-hatred at his failure in that regard mix in with every other terrible emotion flooding from his soul and it only seemed to make him cry even harder.

The last person she’d heard cry like this, with such inordinate despair behind it… had been… well… herself. After she’d first arrived in the Ruins more than a century ago. She remembered it well, how she had collapsed and just cried for hours and hours, clutching her beloved human child’s body until she could finally force herself to do what had to be done and bury them. To hear Sans succumb to that same brokenness was far more painful than she ever could of imagined.

Every one of her nurturing instincts screamed for her to try and comfort him, soothe him with gentle words like she did whenever one of her children would succumb to tears. But she didn’t, she just let him cry, only doing enough to ensure he knew she was there. It was painfully obvious just how badly he needed this, and if she shushed him or said the wrong thing, he may only perceive it as some condemnation of his breakdown, and that was absolutely the last thing he needed right now. No, she would give him all the time he needed, content to wait however long it took. Only a few, carefully chosen words escaped her.

“I know, my friend… I know… I know…” She murmured, just loud enough so that he could hear.

And that wasn’t just comforting babble, she _did_ know. She didn't before but she did now. She knew, and she felt it then right along with him. 

How long it took for her friend to begin to calm down was uncertain, but it was definitely not something that passed quickly by any means. It seemed to her that every time he began to regain some control over his emotions, another awful memory or thought would bubble up in his mind and he’d break down again with renewed hysterics, utterly helpless against the pain. All he could seem to do during the worst of it was cling to Toriel with all his strength and cry.

Eventually though, exhaustion took its toll on him and the violent sobs began to give way to mere shuddering breaths and soft weeping. At this point, she decided she could help a little in helping him calm down. He was utterly spent, and any lingering sobs that shook through him only served to be physically painful. She readjusted her grip on the small skeleton in her arms to hopefully get his attention, before a soft humming began to escape her, summoned up from some deep part of her soul.  

The tune was an ancient one, something her father would hum to her the same way whenever she’d get upset as a child, and especially after one of her many fights with her mother. She had carried on the tradition by sharing the song with her own children. It had no name as far as she could remember, but every time it’s comforting melody met her ears, it sounded like… Home.

She hummed that old lullaby and rubbed small circles into his back, even well after Sans went mostly quiet again, aside from the occasional watery sniffle and shaky intake of breath. All the while she kept her tone as gentle as possible, as if her voice alone could somehow shatter him. Even after his soul’s fervor had calmed, he still clung to her as tight as his exhaustion would allow and tears continued soaking the fur on her neck. She was more than happy to be patient though, and waited for him to pull away or speak again on his own terms.

It was the latter that he finally chose, prompting her to trail off her quiet humming as his terribly hoarse, muffled voice floated up to her.

“i… i-i’m s-sorry…” He wheezed, as another shudder ran through him. “g-god-damn it… i’m s-so sorr- “

But Toriel interrupted him, leaning down to gently nuzzle his cheekbone as she did so.

“Shhh… Hush… do not even start all that.” She murmured, voice also a bit thick from disuse. “You have nothing to apologize for, my friend. You have done nothing wrong.”

He probably didn’t agree, but had no energy whatsoever to argue with her. He slipped back into relative silence for a minute or so before attempting to speak again, this time with just a little more strength to his voice.

“t-tori… i… i d-don’t… i don’t know if i c-can take this anymore…” He moaned, tightening his grip on her further. “it’s a-all… all of this is g-going to…”

This time, he cut himself off, likely to keep from slipping back into crying again. She gave him a gentle squeeze, soul seizing up at the open despair behind his words. In a way, all of this had been what she knew he needed, but that didn’t stop it from hurting terribly in the moment. She returned to tenderly rubbing his back, tracing the shape of his spine beneath his jacket while mindful of the sore areas.

“I know, I know you are scared my friend…” She soothed, voice weak. “But you told me that Frisk promised you they would not reset again, did you not? I know it is difficult, but we must try to have faith in them… that they will keep that promise.”

Despite it all, a strained chuckle escaped him at that, though it sounded so hopeless it may have just been another weary sob.

“i… i just d-don’t think i c-can make myself b-believe that…” He rasped, and she could feel a few more tears fall into her fur. “it… it always r-resets at some point… It d-doesn’t… it c-can’t just… _end_ …”  

Those words brought to light a new aspect to all this that she hadn’t given much thought before. They’d spent all this time focusing on his past and finally letting him be rid of the burdens that came with it. But there had been no talk on how he would adjust to the world going forward, if they truly were to believe that this timeline was indeed their last.

Even from what basic knowledge she’d been able to surmise from what he told her, she understood that while the resets were no doubt the most scarring thing Sans had and likely would ever have to endure, they were also a part of him. He had been trapped in these loops for an unknowable amount of time, and likely could barely remember a life without them. To have to now face a world where time moved forward, things changed, consequences were permanent… it would be traumatizing for him in its own right.

Everything he’d surely learned to do to cope with his unimaginable situation wouldn’t work for him anymore. He couldn’t distance himself from everyone or retreat into apathy, not without hurting those he loved… and hurting them for good. If Frisk kept their word, it meant her friend would have to learn to accept and live in a world where so many things were, for the first time, new.

This realization settled among all the others in Toriel’s soul, not quite as painful, but just as heavy. It also summoned up words to her mouth, a statement she knew she had no real right to make, no power to ensure. But still, she felt he needed to hear it… from someone other than the child he secretly feared.

“Sans… It is not going to reset.” She declared, surprising herself at the strength in her voice.

The skeleton’s breathing stalled at that, and he fell silent, seeming to be listening intently.

“If my child promised it to you, then I implore you to try and believe them. You told me it has never gone on this long, yes? We have been free for a year now, and Frisk has been so very happy… they have so many friends and such a large, loving extended family. Surely if they had any intention of resetting again, they would have done so by now. Even if they find out about me knowing, I am sure they will accept it… if they were truly as gripped by regret as you said… and love us as much as they do… then I am confident you have nothing to fear in that regard.”  

He didn’t reply immediately and she could feel the lingering flickers of conflicting emotion in his soul weakly war against one another in response. Clearly, he didn’t know how to feel about her words. Just as there was some small spark of gratitude, there was still the unyielding blaze of fear. She went on speaking when she was sure he would keep to his silence.

“I would not expect you to be able to accept all this today, my friend.” She assured him. “I understand that, like my issues with Asgore, these things are not in any way easy to overcome. Healing takes time, and it seems we both have a great deal of healing to do. I promise you though, I will be here for you through it all. You will not endure this alone.”

As her words trailed off, Sans remained still and almost worryingly quiet in her embrace. But then he drew in a shaky breath and slowly, finally relaxed his iron grip on her. The rest of his body followed suit and went somewhat limp in her arms as well, and she felt a small pang of relief. No verbal reply from him met her words, but the subtle reemergence of warmth from his soul was enough of an expression of thanks in its own way.

Beyond the gratitude there though, and barest flicker of hope, the warmth carried with it something else, for the first time strong enough to clearly detect. It prompted her own soul to quickly return the feeling, before she could even fully process what it was.

Perhaps she was only being caught up in selfish sentiments again… But in that moment, she could honestly feel… _that_ feeling coming from his soul.

There was a brief period where they just silently shared in that small bit of warmth. Both seemed to recognize what it was and neither knew quite what to do about it, but reveled in it nonetheless. But even _that_ feeling couldn’t overpower the crushing weight of everything else for too long. As it all came back to him, he finally spoke again.

“i’m… s-so tired, tori... i-i’m so… _tired_ …”

In his voice was an inordinately time-worn exhaustion, a kind of exhaustion that only she and a select few other beings could ever hope to understand.

“I know… I know you are.” She soothed, tone communicating her full understanding. “Go on, sleep now my friend, I promise that I will still be here when you wake. Everything will.”

Sans took little time to heed her words, shifting only a bit to a more comfortable position in her embrace before sleep claimed him. Before he drifted off though, she felt it again for a moment, that small spark of…

She banished the thought as best she could, as it was not at all the primary thing she should be focusing on at the moment. But try as she might, it kept lingering at the edges of her mind, driving her to distraction. For a while after the skeleton had fallen asleep, she just sat there trying and failing to fully take in the gravity of all that had just happened. She was sure at this point, she had reached her own limit in a way.

Two days ago, she could have never imagined how much her life would suddenly change due to her decision to find out what caused Sans’ great despair. Now, she almost felt like a totally different monster. And there was surely still so much more to learn as well, for both of them. Going through all this was proving to be one of the more formidable challenges she’d faced in some time, and given all she’d been through in her centuries of life, that was no small statement.

Still, she would do it all and more… for her friend’s sake…

Her… friend…

Oh, who was she kidding anymore…?

With that thought fully realized and accepted within her soul, she carefully got up from the messy bed and carried the monster she loved back to her own room to rest more comfortably.

She had a lot to think about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hoooo boy. Thus ends the first "arc" of this fic I have planned. I'm super excited about what comes next. And you'll (mostly) get a breather from the angst next time haha. Wanted to take the time to also thank everyone whose been reading and keeping up with this so far <3 I never expected to get this kind of response for my first major fic and I really appreciate all your support so much ^^ Hope you continue to enjoy going forward~


	12. Apprehension

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit late this week, sorry, holidays and finals are eating up a lot of my free time. But I got it done, huzzah~ Had to flesh out some last details before Frisk and the others get back and things potentially get intense again. Hope you enjoy~ 
> 
> (Warnings for this chapter: Blood and Non Graphic Violence in the first part.)

Toriel opened her eyes to find herself back in the Ruins.

She was standing by the door that led out into the rest of the underground, facing down the long, dark hallway that stretched to the stairs of her home. For a moment, she could only stare, utterly dumbfounded. Then her mind began to panic.

No…

It _couldn’t_ be…

The more her thoughts raced however, the more the panic began to subside by degrees. No, there was no way. If the world had been reset, she would not still remember everything, her memories would have been wiped. Then… what was happening? Was this… a dream?

She so rarely dreamed like this, everything felt so real… She could feel the cool tile beneath her paws, the slight heaviness of the underground air, even smell the scent of the damp soil and stone that lay just behind the brickwork of the walls. Something compelled her to turn and face the Ruins door, looking up at the insignia that brought back so many conflicting emotions. She wanted to move again, but found she was locked in place, as though she had no control of her own body. It stayed that way a few moments as she internally struggled and fought to move somehow, until suddenly, a sound met her ears.

Someone was walking up behind her.

Her head turned of its own accord, looking back over her shoulder. Emerging from the purple gloom of the hallway, was Frisk. Suddenly she realized what was happening, she _remembered_ this.

“You want to leave so badly?” She heard herself say, voice heavy. “Hmph… You are just like the others…”

Her body turned and she faced the human child, expression stern and full of sorrow. Internally, she could only watch, a helpless witness to the memory as it unfolded.

“There is only one solution to this… Prove yourself… Prove to me you are strong enough to survive.”

Those familiar words rang out, echoing slightly off the walls. She felt herself begin to summon controlled flame attacks in each of her paws. But as her physical body did one thing, the Toriel who was stuck inside could only stare at her child. Something about them was… off.

When she had fought Frisk in an attempt to keep them in the Ruins, the child had looked at her with a determined yet still saddened expression. But the look on their face now… it was cold and unnerving. Frisk wasn’t very expressive to begin with, but the utter emptiness and detachment in their usually gentle eyes was so… wrong. And not to mention… oh stars above… was that… _dust_ on their hands and sleeves?

She had little time to think about it further, as without warning, Frisk slid a small toy knife into their hand from within their sleeve and lunged at her.

The attack came far too fast for her to even think of dodging, whether she had control of her body or not. In one motion, the child slashed her twice, across her cheek and her stomach.

The force of the hit sent her staggering back and her whole body shook from the strength behind it. The shock and pain that erupted forth was so unbearable that she could only freeze in place and stare, jaw hanging open and the flame attacks she’d created dissipating in moments. Blood and her own magical essence seeped from the wounds and out of her mouth. Beyond the agony of it all though, the cruelty and power behind the attack had been so great, she somehow knew it had taken all her HP in one fell swoop… She could feel her soul beginning to lose its connection with the magic making up her body.

She was… dying.

She could hardly think through the pain, so devastating it was. But somehow, her physical self managed to speak again without her input, voice weak and trembling.

“Y… you… really hate me… that much?”

The question was met with silence from the child, as they hung their head low so that shadows covered their face.

“Now I see… who I was protecting… by keeping you here…” She went on, voice becoming more strained by the moment.

“Not you…” She felt her lips twist upwards into a broken smile. “…but them!”

With that her legs gave out beneath her and she collapsed to one knee, blood and magical residue spattering the ground in front of her. Her head lifted towards the child, tears welling in quickly dulling eyes. Even beyond the agony, the Toriel inside wanted to scream, beg Frisk to explain why they were doing this. She wanted to say something… _anything_.

But her physical self could only utter a hopeless, empty laugh.

She felt her awareness fading, her body losing it solidity, her grasp on rational thought falling away. The last thing she saw through her dying eyes was Frisk’s expression as they regarded her crumpled form. And as before, their eyes were just… wrong. Her child’s eyes were normally a soft brown color and their human race gave them a naturally narrow shape, but in that moment, they were stretched open in a truly unnatural fashion, and their irises flashed a dark, chilling crimson.

Then her body fell away, crumbling into dust.

But that itself wasn’t the end, for a brief few moments afterward, her soul floated, trembling, in front of Frisk. Beyond the still searing pain and only vague sense of awareness, she felt so small and exposed… utterly helpless before the child. But they made no move to strike her further, only watched with the same cold expression until the agony consuming her reached a fever pitch.

Then everything shattered.

Toriel woke with a start, eyes flying open to reveal she was lying on her bed, in her room, on the surface. She gasped for air, vague panic still gripping her mind, and she pushed herself up a bit just to ensure that she could move again and was indeed… whole… _alive_.

“h-hey… easy….” a voice at her side broke through her thoughts, causing her to flinch a bit.

She whipped her head around to see Sans sitting beside her, resting a hand lightly on her side. The sight of him looking up at her, eyelights hazy with concern, helped pull her back to reality.

A dream…. It had just been a dream…

Or had it? That did not feel like any ordinary nightmare…

Her claws curled into the bedsheets under her as she worked to calm her breathing and reign in her frantic thoughts enough to speak. All the while he kept his hand in place, in a vain effort to try and support her.

“Sans…?” She said when she had sufficiently composed herself.  “O-oh goodness… I am sorry… I do not know what… d-did I wake you?”

He shook his head, looking vaguely perplexed by the question, perhaps at her priorities with the situation.

“nah, i was… already up… been up all night pretty much.” He replied, in a somewhat dull voice. “but what just happened? you were kinda mumbling in your sleep and then you jumped up like that…”

He paused, seeming to put the pieces together, the worry in his eyelights intensified by degrees.

“did you… have a nightmare?” he asked, quietly.

Toriel furthered worked to steady her breathing, sitting down with her back against the pillows before replying.

“I… I suppose I did.” She managed after a moment, paw unconsciously going to her cheek where she’d been slashed in the dream.

She could still faintly feel the pain of it, and couldn’t suppress a light shudder. The images from this dream didn’t fade quickly like they usually did, and she had to really focus as to not let them overwhelm her. Internally, she forced herself to latch onto the idea that it was just a nightmare, even though something in her soul told her otherwise.

Sans noticed her reaction, eyelights shrinking slightly.

“oh geez… don’t tell me it’s contagious…”

It was probably meant to be a joke of some sort, but he sounded just a bit too legitimately distraught for it to have any real humor behind it. Even if it had been more convincing, she didn’t think she could have laughed regardless. She did her best to direct her attention towards the skeleton, as she still was able to feel faintly surprised to see him acting the way he was. His change in behavior brought back everything that had happened over the past few hours, pushing back her lingering chaotic thoughts for the moment.

Sans had essentially shut down after what had happened following his panic attack. He’d spent the rest of the day doing nothing but sleeping on and off, not ever getting up from her bed. When he did wake from time to time, he was unwilling to speak to her much, aside from an occasional one word answer. Part of what drove this was clearly shame born from breaking down in front of her the way he had. Though, perhaps a bit more worryingly, she felt that the situation had left him in a terribly emotionally vulnerable state, and the only way he knew to deal with it was to retreat into that dreadful apathy that was oh so common with him.

Toriel had stayed by his side through it though, deciding not to press him on how he was acting and just letting her presence be her display of support and comfort. Even though in many ways, seeing him so withdrawn and impassive was even more upsetting than seeing him cry. She could handle emotional outbursts, but there was little she could do for him or anyone when they seemed so utterly… numb.

In the end, she had let him be, sensing that while he didn’t want to be alone per se, he wouldn’t be keen on interacting much any time soon. She had spent the time adding to the notes in her diary, a task that had required her to fill nearly six more pages to accommodate all the new information, as well as just thinking over it all. Everything. In all honestly, she had needed that time to clear her head and sort through what she could.

She had only left him twice, once to fetch them both some late dinner, which he barely touched, and to go do what she could to clean up the mess in the bathroom. She had managed to pick up all the glass and hang the shower fixtures back up, but there was little that could be done for the obviously broken door and medicine cabinet. No way she was getting out of having to come up with an explanation for that.

But Sans seemed to have recovered a bit while she slept, or at least was driven enough by concern on her behalf to break out of his funk. It was a small thing, but like every expression of care on his part, it helped soothe her soul as well as bring it a bit of warmth. Still, now that her head had cleared enough to really take in the sight of him again, it tempered those feelings a bit.

His expression was still so… dull, almost lifeless beyond the small indications of concern. He just looked so tired, despite doing little but sleeping all those hours after the incident. The scar on his skull only added to his dismaying appearance, making him look like some battle worn monster, rather than someone who’d suffered an emotional breakdown.

She must have been staring a little too much though, because he seemed to snap back into his state of detachment and avoid her gaze again. He did still ask her the inevitable question though.

“are you… alright?” he asked quietly, idly fiddling with one of the drawstrings of his hoodie.

Toriel rubbed her forehead and heaved a sigh, his words drawing back some of the terrible images from her dream.

“I… I suppose… Just a bit… shaken…” She admitted, now pressing a paw to her stomach, the other spot she’d been struck in the dream. She could still vaguely feel the pain thrumming beneath her fingertips.

The details of her dream were about to leave her lips, but she stopped short, realizing how quickly they could send him spiraling back into despair. Looking to change the subject instead, she glanced at the window. The darkness outside made her soul twinge lightly with guilt before she shot Sans her own question.

“What time is it…? How long have I been asleep?” She asked, sounding faintly distressed.

 Sans pulled his phone from his hoodie pocket, glancing down at it in a listless manner.

“it’s like… five in the morning.” He said, tapping the screen a few times. “you’ve been out since about ten thirty.”

Goodness, it was worse than she thought. She really hadn’t meant to sleep so long, she’d wanted to stay up and keep an eye on him, or at least be awake should he need something. Not to mention she had meant to reply to Frisk’s latest message before falling asleep, she was usually never this neglectful of such things. Usually her chronic insomnia would have made these tasks easy, but for whatever reason, she’d been finding so much easier to fall asleep with Sans beside her.

That intrusive thought made her face heat up a bit as she hurriedly reached over to grab her purse.

“I am sorry Sans, I did not intend to fall asleep. I hope you are okay..." She said as she quickly opened the flap.

She saw him wave his hand dismissively in response out of the corner of her eye. She wanted to say more on the matter, but something else was pressing on her thoughts as well. 

"And oh dear… I forgot to text Frisk back, I hope they are not too upset…” She fretted as she dug through her purse for her phone.

Try as she might though, she just couldn’t find it, and her worrying continued to build until Sans spoke up again.

“looking for this?” He asked absently, prompting her to look back at him.

Sure enough, he had her phone in his other hand, cutesy snail themed cover and all. He didn’t look up from his own phone, but when met with her confused silence, he went on.

“i figured you meant to text the kiddo back. i took care of it.” He said, voice still quite dull.

She blinked at him, a little dumbfounded.

“You… You did?” She asked, tilting her head a bit.

“yup.” He answered in turn, popping the p sound of the word.

That brought her more than a little surprise. With how terribly drained he’d been, the idea of him going out of his way to do something like that was quite unexpected. Plus, he had been directly communicating with the child who’d been a big part of why he'd broken down so badly before. Wouldn’t he be doing all he could to avoid thinking about Frisk? Hell, after what had just happened in her dream, though it brought her shame, she wasn’t eager to think about them either. His actions made her feel a mix of things, but she decided to take on a somewhat humorous tone with her response, if only to attempt to cheer him up a little.

She managed a small smile and playfully quirked a brow at him, even though he still wasn’t looking at her.

“What exactly did you send them in my place?” She asked. “You did not tell them that I just “baked a million pies” again did you?”

That seemed to get him a bit, as his listless grin perked up slightly at the edges and something like a soft snort of amusement escaped him. It only lasted a few moments though and he still didn’t look up from his phone, but he shook his head in response to the question.

“nah… wasn’t really in the mood. just told them goodnight like you would’ve.” He paused momentarily, holding out her phone to her. “here, see for yourself.”

She gently took the phone from him and held it up to her face. Sure enough, she found that it was still open to hers and Frisk’s conversation from earlier. The last thing she’d sent was an inquiry about their day and they had replied back with a few pictures of the festivities and some enthusiastic recounting of it all. But then she had fallen asleep without replying, leaving the words below not her own, but Sans’. She read on, taking in their conversation.

Sent to Frisk: -_-

(hey kiddo. its sans. tori fell asleep. she says goodnight. looks like you guys are having a good time)

(Oh! :o Hi Sans! That’s okay, it is pretty late. Me and MK had a lot of cookie cake and soda so we can’t sleep lol)

(cool)

(How did you know Mom was asleep? Are you with her right now? Hmmmm~? ;3)

(kid)

(Okay okay sorry. ;P Geez you seem grouchy. Why aren’t you asleep?”

(had to call pap, they didn’t get back to their hotel until late either.)

(Oh yah! I texted them earlier too. We should all go on a beach trip together sometime! :D You and Mom haven’t been yet and we could even visit Onion San!)

(sure)

(Saaans - o - are you okay?)

(yah, just tired)

(Did you have another nightmare?)

(no. anyway its late. go to bed kiddo)

(Fine - 3 - but can I at least have a goodnight joke pls?)

(alright… just let me think of one)

(:D)

(k here goes, why are you going to get sent to jail?)

(whyy? :o)

(because you keep resisting a- _rest_ )

(X’D GOOD ONE!)

(okay, really tho, get some sleep kiddo. and brush your teeth.)

(Hmm… are you sure you didn’t give the phone back to Mom? :P)

(kid)

(lol okay okay :3 I’ll go to bed now. Tell mom goodnight and i love you for me.)

(k)

(Goodnight Sans, love you <3 See you tomorrow night!)

(night kiddo, see ya then)

And with that, the conversation had ended. It all seemed so normal, but even just through texts, Frisk had detected that Sans was acting off. It didn’t bode well for their desire to keep what had transpired this weekend a secret from the human. She didn’t like the chill that ran through her as she read over her child’s words again, trying to connect the amiable messages on the screen from her dear, sweet Frisk to the cold-eyed killer in her dream. Eventually she had to just set it down back in her lap, lest she let the panicked emotions from her nightmare overtake her again. Instead, she again distracted herself by focusing on Sans.

She decided not to mention any of the issues regarding Frisk, too wary of potentially driving him to shut down in full again. Instead, she turned her thoughts to a milder, though still notable point brought up in the conversation he’d had with the child. Given his current behavior though, getting him to talk about it may still prove to be a bit of a challenge.

“Thank you for doing that Sans. I really appreciate it.” She began, voice warm.

“mmhmm… ‘s fine.” He replied stiffly, gaze still firmly focused on his phone screen.

She didn’t let his dismissive response keep her from pressing on. What she intended to say next though could be a bit risky. She worried her lip with her fangs before letting the words escape her.

“It… It is good to hear you talking again…” She noted, tone faintly hesitant.  

Even though her statement caused him to visibly stiffen, it was enough to draw his attention back to her at last. She met those dull eyelights with what she hoped was a gentle, rather than nervous, expression. Within those little lights, she could see the indecision gripping him.

“...yah… sure…”  He mumbled in reply, turning away again.

Though he did slip his phone back into his hoodie pocket rather than returning to look at it, and he seemed to relax just a bit. It prompted her to continue.

“You mentioned here that you spoke with Papyrus? Did that… go okay?” She asked, with a bit more confidence.

He tapped the phalanges of one hand against his patella, sockets narrowing a bit as he seemed to carefully consider his response.

“he didn’t catch on to anything that happened if that’s what you’re asking… just chatted bout his day, more “beach training” and all that…” He trailed off and she was surprised to see a hint of a blush form on his face. “though uh… he does have a um… a _different_ idea about what’s been going on.”

The meaning was not lost on her, and a light, amused, giggle escaped her, only seeming to intensify the soft blue glow on his cheekbones. It was a welcome show of some level of emotion from him, but he was quick to redirect the conversation again before she could say anything more on that note.

“you’re avoiding the subject here t.” He said flatly, willing himself to look at her again. “you just had a nightmare and woke up in a panic, and you’re still shaking…”

She blinked at that, and took a moment to realize he was right. She _was_ still shaking. Her paws trembled perhaps the most noticeably, but the shivers faintly affected her whole body. It was a terribly unsettling sensation, to be essentially calm but still having the lingering fear and panic affect her in this way. She swallowed hard.

“I… suppose you are right.” She replied uncertainly, holding her paws against her chest in an attempt to stop the shaking. “I am guessing you wish to hear about it… do you not?”

In truth, she really didn’t want to tell him. Not now, not when he was already in such a vulnerable state. Plus, she hadn’t been on the other end of recounting one’s nightmares to the other. It definitely gave her perspective and further sympathy towards the many times she’d put him through the same thing so far. Stars above, how could she put something so horrible into words? Frisk had killed her… Frisk had _killed_ her…

She was so wrapped up in the sudden pain of those thoughts that even the skeleton’s quiet reply nearly made her flinch.

“well… you don’t really look like you wanna tell me.” He said, tone almost sounding a bit dejected. “and i guess you don’t have to… but…”

He trailed off briefly and then scooted a little closer on the bed, until he was sitting directly in front of her. His eyelights were just a bit more bright and sincere. Getting them that way clearly took a lot of willpower on his part.

 “i… i do want to be able to help _you_ with stuff too, y’know?” He said, and she could feel how genuine the words were, even as subdued as they were. “but i get if you don’t think i can… especially after…”

His jaw tightened and his eyelights dulled again, falling away from her gaze. Through the returning chills of fear that had gripped her, she couldn’t help but re-focus as best she could in response. She, more hesitantly than usual, reached out a still shaky paw and rested it lightly on his shoulder. It was the first time she’d touched him since he had so thoroughly shut down earlier. He accepted it, but still tensed a bit, though from what emotion she could not tell.

 “It is not that, I promise dear, I am incredibly grateful that you care so much.” She assured him, voice wavering a bit. “I just feel… you have been through enough for a while. You are still… recovering from what happened. I do not wish to upset you further.”

He tensed up a little more at that, and she could detect the feelings of shame intensify within his soul. Still, he looked up at her again, furrowing his brow ridges a bit.

“did your nightmare… have something to do with me?” He asked, a touch nervously.

Toriel shook her head, giving his shoulder a small involuntary squeeze as the violent images resurfaced within her mind once more with a vengeance.

“No… but I… I feel that it was related to the things you told me. The… resets.”

Those words prompted a slow blink from him, and she watched as true surprise forced its way past the numbness there. But there was also a warring of curiosity and concern, and she knew he would not be satisfied without knowing the truth, no matter how painful.

“tori…” He said her name quietly, full of trepidation. “did… did it seem like a memory?”

She grit her teeth a bit, the words hitting hard. That was the exact idea she’d been trying to avoid considering… that her nightmare was not just some horrible result of her strained mental state, but a vision of something that had truly happened. A vision from another timeline… perhaps the same one where Sans had been given that terrible scar. But now that he’d voice that possibility into words… she felt it must be at least somewhat true. After another deep breath, she gave an uneasy nod.

The skeleton’s eyelights wavered anxiously, the implications working through the veil of apathy he still attempted to cling to. Seeing that reaction from him brought back her reservations about revealing this to him. But before she could voice them and try again to derail the conversation, he went on.

 “what did you see?” he asked, suddenly eerily calm.

She wasn’t getting out of this. And fair enough, she had encouraged him to be honest with her regarding his nightmares, it was only right she do the same. Given Sans’ vulnerable state though, she would just need to be sure to handle this… carefully.

“Well…” She began, slowly pulling her paws back against her chest. “I fear that…”

She trailed off, thinking of a better way to phrase this. Though the words seem to burn as they left her.

“Sans, wh-when you got that scar… did Frisk…. did they… kill anyone else? D-did… did they kill… me?”

The question didn’t prompt much of a reaction from him, beyond causing his eyelights to shrink a bit and briefly dart away from her. But he nodded, grimly.

As had been the case with many other things, the answer was not shocking, she had already pieced it together herself. But that didn’t dull the spike of pain it brought to have these suspicions confirmed. She closed her eyes briefly until it relented its renewed assault on her soul and she could think clearly again. Sans seemed to wait for her to open her re-open her eyes before he spoke.

“i never… saw it happen of course.” He said, weakly. “it wasn’t hard to figure out though. They left the ruins during that run with… dust all over their hands…”

He shivered lightly, and that same bitter guilt from before radiated from his soul, though she didn’t fully understand why. What had happened to her and… stars above… likely everyone else… was certainly not his fault. Any despair in his expression was quickly, willfully, banished though and left him looking rather dull again, only his eyelights still carrying a hint of the inner turmoil he was feeling.

“that’s what you dreamed about… huh? when frisk…”

Something compelled him not to finish that statement and he fell into silence again. Toriel looked down at him, scarlet eyes shining with sympathy. She was able to push away her own troubles for the moment, as his behavior reminded her of the poor state he was in. Not wanting to risk him ruminating in whatever old negative emotions had been dredged up, she did her best to make the discussion of that topic end there. 

“T-try not to worry about it too much…” She insisted. “I will be alright dear. For better or worse, these things… as truly terrible as they are… they are not affecting me quite as intensely as before.”

It was… somewhat of a lie. There was no way she’d ever just be able to face these details of her new twisted reality without any pain coming to her. But she no longer feared they’d send her reeling as they did before. She could endure it, surely…

Though Sans looked more than vaguely skeptical, he no longer seemed to hold the conviction to further push the subject, and any trace of potential defiance in his eyelights withered. But a faint curiosity stayed and she could tell his thoughts were still racing. She’d surely be facing some more questions from him about this later on. The silence between them lasted a while longer before she summoned up enough strength in her voice for what she knew she had to ask.

“How… How are _you_ faring now? Are you feeling any… better?” She asked.

She immediately felt regret at the clumsiness of her words, but she didn’t know how else to say it. With how truly detached and closed off he’d been acting, she found it far harder to read how he was feeling. Even the emotions from his soul felt somewhat muted, as if he were attempting to hold back his natural flow of magic to avoid dealing with them. Asking was the only way she could find out the full truth at this stage, if there was indeed some part of him still willing to be honest with her.

The question was one he clearly expected, and she could tell he was trying to find some way to avoid answering. Something in her eyes must have gotten to him though, because after meeting them again he remained where he was and begrudgingly forced out a weary reply.

“i… i don’t really know…” He admitted, words coming out slow and controlled. “i… just feel so… empty…”

Toriel soul panged with concern, not at all liking the implication of the word he’d chosen there. With a bit of thought though, it did make a bit more sense. In a way, he had purged himself of a great deal of pain that had been continually building up and weighing down on his soul for so very long, both from his breakdown and just willingly speaking about his terrible burdens at last. If he had truly not let himself do either of those things in full before, it could only be expected that he would feel… “empty” without that weight there, as he put it, among other things. Still, she wished to question him about it, searching for any further clarification he would offer.

 “Empty?” She repeated back, keeping any lingering anxiety from her voice as best she could.

A few moments passed and he stayed silent, to the point she began to wonder if he’d even heard her. He crossed his arms a bit and kneaded the material of his hoodie between his phalanges, expression still uncomfortably dull. His voice speaking up again almost came as a surprise.

“i don’t know how else to put it…” He said, sockets drooping a bit. “my soul… feels… i dunno… lighter? which is… good i guess… but it’s also like… i can’t… control my thoughts and everything else like i used to… everything is so much more… intense? i can’t… focus. and i just… i dunno if i’ll be able to act… normal when pap and everyone else gets back.”

Her eyes softened at that and she felt a bit of relief to hear his explanation. She thanked the stars that his use of that word had not meant something worse. Still, she laid her paw palm up on her knee, offering it to him in what now felt like a natural routine for them. The relief she felt only grew as he, after a few moments of hesitation, reached out and took it, curling his phalanges tightly around her fingers. After how much he’d shut her out after his breakdown, she couldn’t be more grateful to see this small sign of continued trust between them.

“I understand.” She murmured, tenderly running her thumb over his knuckle bones. “I have dealt with this before myself. I promise you, it is normal to feel this way. When we build up walls to shut out our sorrows, in time, we grow use to having them there as a kind of… crutch. Once they inevitably come crashing down though… it leaves one feeling quite unstable. It will pass dear, just give it time.”

She paused momentarily, realizing her words might have been a bit too… abstract for the topic at hand.

“Sorry, that may have been a little too metaphorical…” She apologized with a small, weak smile.

But he shook his head, gripping her paw a little tighter.

“nah… i getcha…” He replied quietly.

His expression stayed listless after that, but he seemed to be listening intently. When he made no effort to reply further, she went on.

“We will figure out something to tell the others.” She assured him. “If you are still not feeling like yourself when Frisk gets home tomorrow er… later tonight, perhaps we could just claim you have fallen ill overnight? And maybe had a fall… because of that? That should not be too hard to convince them of, right? It worked on Asgore at least…”

Part of her felt truly terrible for conspiring to lie to her family this way, but it had to be done. She saw no other way out of it unless Sans wished to tell them everything he’d told her, and in his current condition and with his sentiments towards that idea quite clear, it wasn’t happening.

Sans seemed to consider her proposition, brow ridges furrowing slightly. There wasn’t much of the same remorse for the idea from him, probably used to coming up with such ruses. That in itself brought her another pang of sadness and perhaps a touch of disappointment, but she knew it wouldn’t be right to chastise him for it. He eventually gave a small nod, eyelights sharpening slightly with resolve.

“i can probably manage that…” He said stiffly, before his false grin widened a bit. “already feel pretty damn shitty, shouldn’ be too difficult to act like it too.”

Her soul clenched up at that, and she desperately wanted to just give him a hug. She resisted, knowing he was probably still not at the point where’d he’d be okay with that again. But she still gave his small hand a light squeeze, moving to hold it with both of her paws and willing him to look at her.

“I am sorry Sans…” She said, voice wavering slightly with emotion. “Perhaps we should take a break from discussing all these things for now… I think we both need to just… relax for a while. Maybe do something to take our minds off of it all for the time being… I am sure that will help with this.”

Sans blinked up at her before replying with a soft “sure…” and a small shrug, expression just a bit less guarded then before. Her gesture also brought back the hint of light blue color to his face, and the warm feelings that were conjured in her soul helped banish any further stress over her nightmare to the back of her mind for the moment. A glance at the window and the dark, starry sky above gave her the inspiration she needed, and an idea of what to do.

Her eyes sparkled a bit with anticipation and a small grin appeared on her face. She lowered their clasped hands back down and freed one of her paws, holding it up.

“Hey Sans, knock knock…” She said warmly, miming a knocking motion as she did so.

Realization set in quickly and he was unable to keep his grin from softening up a bit, and his expression shifted from dullness to a faint, weary amusement.

“heh… w-who’s there?” Came the expected reply, though his voice shook a bit now that he wasn’t being as careful with his words.

“Ya” She went on simply.

“ya… who?” His tone then indicated he was catching on to the joke.

“Oh, I am excited to see you too!” She finished with a grin, relishing in the familiarity of it all.

He didn’t quite laugh, but his face did scrunch up a bit in amusement and his eyelights brightened noticeably. She went on without question, happy to see the results of her efforts. Helping Sans with his darker emotions may still be something she was in the process of learning, but if there was one thing she was good at, it was cheering up her dear skeleton with bad jokes.

“Knock Knock” She began again, smile widening.

“who’s there?”

“From”

“from who…?”

“Actually, the proper way to say it is “from whom.” Do you need a grammar lesson?”

This time, the joke prompted a small wheezy chuckle from him and she could hardly imagine a more wonderful sound. He met her gaze more confidently. It seemed that even in his poor state, he wasn’t about to let her have all the fun.

“heh heh heh… knock knock.” He started this time, weak grin growing stronger as he did so.

“Who is there?” She replied in turn.

“deja”

“Deja who?”

“knock knock.”

The punchline, delivered expertly, sent her into a fit of giggles. The heaviness of everything still weighing on her soul kept it from devolving into her usual raucous laughter. But it was still so nice, if felt so good to laugh again.

Sans seemed quite pleased at her reaction too, eyelights brightening further. He gave her hand a little squeeze before firing off another joke, which she then countered in the usual fashion once she could speak through her laughter. They continued on this way, drawn into their old beloved routine with surprising ease. It went on and on like that, the silliness of it all building until they both were giggling so much they could barely speak.

When she could talk again without snorting with laughter, she offered one final joke, letting it also finally be the method through which she delivered her original idea.

“K-Knock Knock.” She managed through a restrained chuckle, weakly miming the motion again.

It took Sans a bit to reply, equally consumed by quiet chortling. He was still a little more subdued than usual, but it was a lovely sight regardless. Seeing and feeling true happiness from him again was enough to bring tears to her eyes, if the fits of laughter hadn’t already accomplished that. Eventually he got out his response, trying his best to even out his voice a bit.

“wh-who’s there?”

“Wanda”

“w-anda -heh- who?”

She met his gaze before finishing the joke, scarlet eyes shining with fondness.

“Wanda go and watch the sunrise with me?”

The answer still brought out a few more chuckles from him, but he quickly caught onto the fact she was asking the question for real. He took a few seconds to fully compose himself before giving her a small nod.

“yah… sure tori. i’d like that.” He answered, voice sobering up a little, but his warm expression remained.

Toriel shot back a delighted smile in response, unable to hide how happy she was to hear him agree.

“want me to uh… zap us out to the porch?” He offered, and she could feel the tingle of his magic through her paw as he prepared to execute the shortcut.

She shook her head though, genial expression remaining.

“No… I have a better idea. Do you think you could take us to the roof instead?”

Her proposition made him blink in surprise, but his grin then widened in response. She had come to realize over the course of the weekend just how different his true smile was from the stiff, unnatural one he so often wore. Maybe to most people the difference would not be as noticeable, but if one payed attention, they’d see how his true smile met his eye sockets and made the little lights there shine like the stars he loved so much. They twinkled up at her as he nodded his agreement.

She took a moment to prepare herself before it felt as though the world tilted and stuttered around her. In less than a second she was on the roof of the house, staring out at the expanse of open fields, the lights of Newer Home shining in the distance, the further lights of Ebott City, and the great, looming shape of Mt. Ebott itself beyond. They were on the top with their backs resting against the chimney. She had to get her bearings for a second to keep herself steady. Sans had “shortcutted” them both before but not enough times where the process didn’t leave her feeling a bit disoriented.

 “you okay? sorry, shoulda given ya more of a warning.” He asked, as she rubbed her forehead against the lingering dizziness.

“Do not worry dear, I am fine.” She assured him, before realizing he was not beside her.

She was faintly surprised to look down and find him sitting in her lap, looking quite comfortable at that.

His expression as she looked down at him with a, no doubt, questioning look on her face, quickly turned sheepish. To her, it looked like the kind of face Frisk made when she caught them sneaking monster candy or other sweets past bedtime.

“eheheh… guess i uh… miscalculated the positioning a bit. s-shortcuts sure can be goofy sometimes…” He stuttered, eyelights darting away as he was seemingly unable to keep a light blush from forming on his face again.

She blinked slowly, feeling a knowing grin spread across her face. Another soft giggle escaped her and she carefully wrapped her arms around him from behind, ensuring he seemed okay with it before pulling him close with a small squeeze. He laid his arms over hers as he settled into the embrace, and she could feel a grateful pulse from his soul. She was perhaps even more grateful, to see this other sign that all that had happened had not damaged the trust between them.

“Why yes, _quite_ goofy indeed…” She teased, shifting back a bit to lean comfortably against the chimney behind her.

She continued in a softer voice, rubbing his arm gently with a paw.

“If you wanted a hug dear, you needed only to ask.”

His only response to that was to sink low into his hood with an awkward chuckle, the color spreading further on his face. They both drifted into silence again afterwards, doing what they could to relax and taking in the beautiful sight before them. The clear night gave them a full view of the dazzling collection of stars above them, all shining down like billions of tiny white flames in a sea of blackness. The crescent moon also shared its radiance from behind them as it continued its descent to make way for the oncoming day.

“you were right tori… this is a much better view.” Sans said eventually, breaking the silence as the first hints of sunlight began to show on the horizon.

She watched him lift a hand to point towards a particular cluster of stars.

“cancer is much easier to spot, you can really see the shape better.” He said before moving his hand to point at another shape in the stars.

“leo too, though it will get much brighter once summer gets here... oh, and that bright spot there, closer to the horizon? that’s actually the planet venus, it’s pretty visible this time of year too, but only right around sunrise and sunset.”

He went on talking about astronomy for a bit, and Toriel watched and listened with a deeply fond smile on her face. Stuff like this was one of the few things he showed genuine passion for, and it was always such a delight to hear him talk about it. She may not know nearly as much about such things herself, but she was more than happy to learn from him. Perhaps she would include the things he told her in one of her lesson plans, or better yet, even ask him to teach a lesson to her students himself. He would probably be hesitant, but she knew he’d do a fantastic job. Maybe someday.

At some point, he must have become a little self-conscious about his spark of enthusiasm because he eventually trailed off and sank back against her, huddling into his hood again.

“ah geez, i really rambled there, huh? sorry t, you’ve _goat_ to be bored out of your skull by now…” He said, a touch meekly.

She was sure to shake her head in a deliberate manner, and gave him another gentle squeeze.

“Not at all, I love when you talk about these things.” She assured him. “Even with all my centuries of life, I never properly learned about all the stars and planets above us. Back when I first lived beneath them, I am afraid we took them for granted. I appreciate hearing all about it now from someone so knowledgeable on the subject.”

The compliment was purposely said as sweetly as possible and it certainly succeeded in the effect she desired. If she made him blush any more though, she wondered if his cheekbones would remain that bright cyan color for good. He didn’t really have it in him in that moment to formulate a proper reply it seemed, so she went on, tone just a touch more hesitant.

“Honestly dear, just hearing you talk in general is such a joy. Especially after…”

She cut herself off, realizing what she was about to say would betray her own statement earlier. Sans clearly knew what she meant though, and he stiffened just a bit. She was surprised though to feel him grip her tighter and reply without much of a pause.

“yah… i know.” He said with a weary sigh, dragging a hand down his face. “i’m… ugh… i know you said not to… apologize for uh… that. so… i guess i won’t. but still, can i at least say sorry for acting so shitty to you all day after that?”

His words furthered the surprise she felt, though she was grateful to hear that her slip up had not sent him back into despair. She considered his question for a short while before answering.

“Well… I suppose you can, and I am more than happy to forgive you.” She said, giving his arm another gentle rub. “But please, do not be too hard on yourself for that… okay? I understand dear. You know I would never think less of you for struggling with this.”

That seemed to be the right thing to say, as she felt the small bit of tension in his body dissipate. A soft chuckle escaped him, and he dropped his hand to rest back on top of her arm. His laugh was not really for any humor, but it also didn’t carry the same hopelessness as before. The exact emotion behind it wasn’t clear to her, as he was once again making an effort to keep his emotions somewhat muted, but what he said next felt like enough of an answer.

“tori… how does someone as great as you even exist?” He asked with a small, fond grin, curling his phalanges into the fabric of her sleeve.

The question was clearly rhetorical, though it still made her soul stir with confusing emotions. But most prominent was the strong reemergence of _that_ feeling… that feeling that she now admitted to herself to be… love. She gulped as it brought back that now all too familiar heat to her cheeks, thoughts suddenly racing along with the surging feelings in her soul.

Should she… tell him? Surely the moment was opportune, almost comically so. They were here alone watching the sunrise together, it almost seemed a little too perfect. But her own doubts were quick to choke her again, making her thoughts spin in a hopeless circle.

Telling him could be what gave him the hope for the future he so clearly needed, but it could also prove to be far too much for him to process with everything else going on. He clearly returned her feelings on some level, she’d have to be truly blind to not see that, but it could just be a simple infatuation that didn’t match what she felt.

 _“Well you will never know if you never tell him…”_ Her mind prodded her. She promptly ordered it to shut up.

No, she just couldn’t do it. Even if Sans did feel the same, with the way things were now, she doubted he was in the right state of mind to be able to consider something like a romantic relationship. And if she were being honest, she probably wasn’t really either. Not to mention all the other potential issues with the idea that continued to inundate her, snuffing out any further focus on the matter. Now was just… not the time. She really needed to stop letting her thoughts turn to her own selfishness so quickly.

She still felt she had to answer his question with something though.

“Well… I am flattered, but I could easily ask the same of you.” She murmured, eyes softening. “I have my own struggles and deep flaws that shape me. I know my previous status as royalty makes some see me differently, but I am just a monster, like you.”

He chuckled lightly again, that warm smile only growing fonder.

“yah, i know, but still, you’re the best tori… i know i said it before, but i really suck at showing it… i just… really do appreciate everything you’ve… put up with for my sake…”

There was clearly more he wanted to say, but bringing any focus to his many displays of vulnerability over the past few days was understandably difficult. She gave him another hug from behind to communicate her understanding, leaning down and pressing her cheek against the side of his skull.

“You are most welcome, dear. And I must thank you too, for being there for me when I needed it.”

He offered no words in reply, only sent a muted pulse of mutual gratitude to her soul from his own. She could tell her words had stirred a lot of feelings in his soul, thrumming through it like an elevated heartbeat. And with his emotional state still being quite fragile, he seemed unwilling to speak for the moment lest his emotions get the better of him. As before though, she felt it again, piercing through his weak attempts of repression. That feeling of love flowing from his soul.

It brought out the words from her that, like with her declaration to him regarding the resets, she knew she could not ensure, but felt they both needed to hear.

“We are going to be okay.” She said simply, keeping him in that tight embrace.

His silence continued, but it mattered not. Their souls carried on any further communication from there. They stayed that way a long time, before eventually turning their eyes back to the horizon, to the brilliant spectacle signaling the oncoming day.

Later that day, they’d both have to face their family again with all these new terrible revelations and incidents weighing down on them. They’d have to lie to cover for what had happened, and try and return to some degree of normalcy. On top of that, Toriel knew that her nightmare likely signaled the start of something equally as worrying, and would need to be addressed with proper seriousness at some point. There was so much they could be and perhaps even _should_ be stressing over right now.

But for the moment, they just watched the sunrise together in comfortable silence as it crested the horizon and painted the world below in brilliant hues, all the while holding on to that shared warmth between their souls. It was a new day, and whatever it would bring, at least now they were both assured they would face it together.


	13. Normalcy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all~ Hope you had a good Thanksgiving if you celebrated or just a nice day in general ^^ This chapter was a lot of fun to write and its extra long this week to make up for the fact I might have to take a short break next week until I am free from finals. \\(ToT)/ We'll see though. I just love writing this fic. Hope you enjoy~ ^^

Toriel’s claws tapped anxiously against the windowsill as she stared out at the path across the road that led to Newer Home’s park. With the sun sinking just above the horizon, she knew that any moment now, Frisk would appear there on their way home, back at last from a weekend of fun and games. Usually she’d be waiting for them like this with joyful anticipation, excited to see her dear child, hug them tight and hear all about the good times they’d had. But to her deepest shame, she found her soul was instead thouroughly chilled with dread.

She took a slow, deep breath, reminding herself of the steps she’d taken to ensure this went as smoothly as possible. There was a freshly baked butterscotch cinnamon pie sitting on the kitchen counter behind her, something to immediately get the children’s attention and assure them of normalcy as soon as they arrived. Sans was asleep on the couch at her suggestion, both to supplement their ruse of him being sick, as well as just letting him rest after being awake since the previous evening. Convincing him to take a nap before Frisk got back had been the easiest of the tasks surely.

She would have rather let him rest in her room again, in a proper bed. But that would have prompted some... inopportune questions from the others that she’d rather not deal with. And with his own room too much of a disaster for her liking, the couch it was then.

Sans was a pro at this, so she had little fear of him being the one to stir any real suspicion, even in his still somewhat unstable state. No, in the end it all came down to her. Everything from the outset appeared normal, all the pieces were in place. All she had to do was act like her usual self and not blow it.

Just…. relax… focus…

There was not nearly enough time to truly accomplish either of those things before Frisk abruptly stepped into view outside. Her soul seized up briefly before she forced herself to appear calm again, putting on a smile in case they saw her in the window. Her child was happily walking alongside Kid, hand in hand, er… tail. Flowey was poking out from the overnight bag slung over their other shoulder, watching the other children with his usual scowl.

It was a picture of normalcy, and a sight that should be bringing her joy. Instead she had to concentrate in order to keep herself from shuddering. Frisk looked so happy… but she couldn't help but think of those sweet brown eyes flashing a chilling, cruel red. Looking at Flowey stirred similar feelings that she had to willingly fight back, not as personal but just as unnerving.

Those feelings only grew worse when her child inevitably met her eyes from afar. There was a beat before she could move, but then she managed to raise her paw and give a, hopefully, convincing wave.

Frisk’s smile widened and they increased their pace in response, prompting Kid to run faster as well to keep up. They engaged in a friendly race of sorts, though their grip on each other kept them essentially even the whole time. Even through the glass of the window, she could hear Flowey’s loud, irritated protests as they all drew near.

She dug deep and drew one last steadying breath before the door flung open.

(Hi Mom! We’re back!) Frisk signed once they had freed both their hands and hurried to stand in front of her.

“Yo! Hi Ms. Toriel!” Kid said at the same time, tail practically wagging behind them.

Flowey said nothing, just continued grumbling from being bounced around in the bag so much.

Toriel maintained her smile, finding the children’s familiar behavior helped keep her nerves at bay for the moment.

“Oh hello my child.” She said, leaning down and enveloping Frisk in a hug. “I have missed you dear, I take it you had a good time?”

Frisk nodded against her shoulder, returning the hug eagerly. She prayed they didn't detect any of the unease in her soul for the few moments they remained wrapped in the embrace. All she could feel from their powerful soul was love and joy, and it only made the guilt within her worsen.

Sans’ advice on getting through this came back to her then.

“just detach yourself from what's happening.” He'd told her hours before. “clear your mind, go through the motions, say what you need to and disengage. don't let all this stuff make you hesitate or ask anything you wouldn’t usually. at least until we can gauge if the kid is suspicious or not.”

Ugh, his way of handling things was easier said than done. How was she meant to detach from this? Oh dear, was she letting this hug go on too long? She carefully let go, relieved to see Frisk was still smiling up at her warmly. They lifted their hands to sign to her.

(Kid walked me home, they had such a cool party! But I missed you too mom, happy to be back. I'm all partied out)

She watched them form the words with a smile, always impressed at how adept the human had become with skill after taking it up once they’d arrived on the surface. Once they'd finished, she turned her gaze to Kid.

“Well thank you so much Kid, I greatly appreciate it. What a wonderful friend you are.” She said, patting the monster child’s scaly head.

They blushed a bit and casually waved their tail in response.

“Oh shucks yo, Frisk’s the best! It's no prob for me!” They declared, puffing up their chest. “But uh, if you want to give me extra credit for this Ms. Toriel, that'd be pretty cool yo!”

Toriel laughed softly at that, but then cleared her throat and feigned her strict “teacher-face.”

“No Kid, I am sorry, you will still have to complete the extra credit assignment like everyone else for that.” She said, wagging a finger in a practiced motion.

She paused for effect before bringing her paws together with another gentle smile.

“But! I have something else here you can have for all your trouble.”

Frisk and Kid both sniffed the air a few times and their smiles lit up even more.

(You made pie?) Frisk asked, hands forming the question quickly.

Toriel nodded, a soft giggle escaping her as the children looked up at her with shining eyes in response. Even Flowey had a small hint of piqued interest in his beady eyes.

“You may all have a slice, of course. Please do have a treat with us before you go Kid.” She offered, stepping aside so the children could see the pie on the counter behind her.

“Yo thanks Ms. Toriel! Don't tell my parents I'm having dessert this late!” Kid exclaimed, rushing towards it with their tongue poking out past their exposed fangs.

Frisk mirrored their gratitude with a quick movement of their hands before following suit. Flowey said nothing, but had his eyes firmly locked on the pie as well. The human child set the flower monster’s pot on the table before they carefully scooped out slices for their notably armless friends. Toriel had already pre-cut the pie in advance… mostly to avoid any chance of Frisk picking up a knife. She wasn’t sure she could keep her cool if that image from her nightmare entered her reality...

As the children sat down at the table to enjoy the pie, she moved to stand behind them, casting an anxious glance towards the living room. She wondered if Sans was awake and hearing any of this. She sincerely hoped he continued to sleep, for a multitude of reasons. It was Flowey who caught her gesture and spoke up, surprising her a bit.

“Where's the smiley trash bag?” He grumbled up at her through a mouthful of food. “Figured he’d be in on this and have rigged all the chairs with whoopee cushions or something else stupid like that...”

Again there was a beat where unease spiked in her soul, but she managed to keep her smile in place and reply.

“That is actually what else I wished to talk to you both about.” She said, glancing between Frisk and Flowey.

Both of them looked up at her with mild curiosity, Kid just continued happily digging into his pie. This was it, she had to make this convincing.

“Sans is not feeling well, he seems to have caught some sort of bug... He was very feverish last night and had a bit of a fall. He cracked his skull a little. But he is okay, do not worry. I have been looking after him, he still needs to rest though, so do try to keep quiet. He is sleeping in the living room right now.”

She held her breath as she waited to see how they'd take the information, searching both their eyes for any sign of suspicion. There was none, Frisk’s expression immediately shifted into concern and Flowey, amusement.

“Ha!” The flower monster laughed, spitting a few crumbs across the table. “What an idiot! Oh I can't wait to see that!”

His insensitivity did not surprise anyone present, all quite used to his usual behavior. Still, Toriel did cross her arms and give him a stern look, which made him cower just a bit.

“Flowey, what have I said about being needlessly rude? Please apologize or else I will have to take away your gaming privileges.” She said.

Flowey groaned, glaring daggers up at her and lowering in his pot.

“Fiiiiine. Sorry, whatever.” He grumbled, turning from her to lean down for another bite of pie.

For any other child, that kind of apology would not be acceptable to her, but Flowey was a special case. He clearly had some serious issues, and now she had some idea as to why… regardless, he was a child who needed special care. The fact he had listened to her and offered an apology at all was significant, no matter how insincere.

“Thank you Flowey, you are forgiven.” She replied, giving the flower monster a pat on the head and lightly ruffling his petals.

He let out a hiss at her, but she paid it no mind. It had become clear over time that the flower monster’s bark was worse than his bite. She turned back to Frisk so she could see what they wished to say on the matter.

(Poor Sans, he did seem to be acting kinda weird when I texted him last night.) Frisk signed, frowning. (Did you tell Papyrus?)

She nodded in response to their question, feeling relief and a twinge of guilt at their unquestioning trust.

“Yes, Sans called Papyrus a few hours ago. He was understandably worried of course, but we convinced him to stay and enjoy his last day of vacation. He will be here a little later tonight.”

Monster Kid perked up at the mention of their idol, eyes sparkling as they licked their lips of lingering pie crumbs.

“Yo, I can't wait to see Papyrus at the school tomorrow!” They exclaimed, tail wagging in their chair. “He said he'd give me a matching scarf just like his for a late birthday present! I'm so excited! It will totally look great with the poncho you made for me Ms. Toriel!”

She smiled in response, but raised a finger to her lips to remind them to be quiet. They quickly clamped their mouth shut and deflated a bit with a sheepish look on their face.

"Oh yah… sorry Ms. Toriel, being sick is the worst, I hope your boyfriend feels better soon yo.” They said in a softer voice.

Her breath caught in her throat in response to that, eyes widening. She was not prepared for that at all. Her face began to burn and she had to fight to gain back her composure.

“N-now Kid dear, Sans is not my…”She stuttered but paused when they looked at her with genuine confusion.

“Huh? But Frisk said-” The monster child’s words were abruptly cut off as the human child in question covered their mouth with a nervous grin.

It didn't take her long to piece together what had happened here. She shot her child a flat look and raised a brow at them. Flowey speaking up quickly drew her attention to him though.

“Blech! don't talk about that. You're ruining my appetite. Disgusting.” He said, sticking out his tongue and glaring at Toriel with a repulsed expression.

She rolled her eyes, shaking her head in mild exasperation. Why Flowey often felt the need to weigh in on her personal relationships, she didn't know. Even if he did just like to find things to say to antagonize others, why would he care about that in particular? She willed herself to abandon the thought and return to her usual calmness with a deep sigh.

“Never mind it, just enjoy your pie children. I am going to go check on him.” She said, managing to get a smile back on her face. “Will you be okay getting home by yourself Kid?”

The monster child nodded enthusiastically in response to the question, puffing up again in a manner she now realized was an attempt to imitate Papyrus.

“Of course yo! I know the way like the back of my tail. Nyeh heh heh!” They shot back, with just as much excitement but in a mindfully low voice.

She offered a soft chuckle in reply and turned to head towards the living room, speaking to them over her shoulder as she walked.

“Very well, but please text Frisk when you get there so we know you arrived safely.” She said.

“Okay teach, you got it yo.” Came their reply, prompting her to offer a nod of acknowledgment before directing her gaze back to the living room.

She left the children behind for the moment, hearing Flowey draw them all into a conversation about something that had happened at the party. Apparently he was quite displeased about the sleeping arrangements. Or something like that, in truth she no longer could find it in herself to focus on what any of them were saying.

Ducking into the living room, she pressed herself against the wall out of view and finally let her false smile fall, laying her head in her paws. Stars… that had been seriously difficult, and far more draining than she expected. Was this part of why Sans was so tired all the time? It was going to take a lot out of her to keep this up.

At least everything was going smoothly so far. None of the children seemed to suspect that she was acting unlike herself. If she could manage to keep it that way, things should be okay… surely. She remained there like that for a while, breathing deeply and reigning in all the uneasy emotions flowing from her soul. Eventually, she did let her paws fall again and directed her gaze to the small form of Sans on the couch.

He was lying curled on his side, skull resting on a pillow set against the arm of the couch with the rest of him nestled under a thick throw blanket. The water bottle and the waste basket from the previous night had been set in place near him again, this time only there to add to the believability of their ruse. He was facing towards the back of the couch, so she couldn't see if he was awake or not. If he was, he was doing a stellar job feigning sleep, lying still and occasionally letting out soft rhythmic snores. She felt a little calmer just from watching him.

More at ease, she crossed the room and sat beside him on the couch. She tucked his blanket in around him a bit where one of his socked feet had slipped out and leaned over to get a closer look at him. Now she was certain he was really asleep, with how his sockets were closed and how he showed no sign of acknowledging her presence at all. She could hardly blame him, part of her wanted to collapse and sleep there right alongside him. But she, of course, resisted, and felt a bit flustered by the thought at that.

The scar on his skull was still starkly visible, even after she had done another treatment on it hours before. It was fading as she expected, but with the severity of his injury due to his inherent weakness, it would take some time for it to disappear completely. Her thoughts also directed themselves to another scar she knew he carried, drawing her eyes to look at his chest. Her own phantom injuries began to prickle with pain as she did so.

“ _No, don't think about it_ …” she reminded herself, and forced her eyes away, but left a paw resting lightly on his side.

Some time passed that way, as she gently ran her paw over his sleeping form and tried to organize her thoughts again. She vaguely heard Kid say goodbye from the kitchen and the sound of the front door shutting. But she was still rather unprepared to see Frisk enter the room shortly after, carrying Flowey’s pot in their arms. She managed to meet their eyes without flinching though and shot them both a sad smile. The flower monster regarded Sans with an amused grin, while Frisk continued to look sympathetic and sad.

“Golly, he _does_ look like garbage.” Flowey said with a smirk, still conceding in keeping his voice down though.

Frisk frowned down at him and signed something with one hand that she didn't quite catch, but it made Flowey grumble and roll his eyes. The human child then faced Toriel again, directing their hand motions at her.

(Gonna take Flowey and my stuff to our room, be right back) They signed before heading for the hallway.

She gave them a nod of acknowledgement, still subconsciously stroking the sleeping skeleton all the while. It didn't take her child long to return, now without the flower monster or their overnight bag to worry about. They approached her cautiously, and she did everything in her power to keep from letting the anxiety in her soul show on her face.

(How is he?) They asked, brown eyes sweeping over his sleeping form.

Toriel sighed softly, looking back at Sans for a moment.

“He is okay dear, just still a little under the weather. He will be alright.” She assured them softly, the lie burning a bit on her tongue.

Frisk blinked at her then looked back at Sans with a deeper frown. After a moment, they drew closer and laid one of their small hands on his side alongside Toriel’s paw. The action made her internally flinch, the idea of them touching him at all making her uneasy, but touching him so near where the terrible scar that they'd given him was…

She swallowed hard, forcing herself to stay calm and not do anything. They gave Sans a light stroke too, but something in the skeleton’s mind seemed to register a difference between the human child’s touch and Toriel's. And it was a difference it did not like.

Sans stiffened visibly under their touch, beginning to then slowly stir from sleep. Frisk pulled their hand back with a hint of guilt in their eyes, briefly shooting an apologetic glance in Toriel's direction. She kept her focus on Sans, feeling her soul seize up inside her as she wondered how he would take waking up to see Frisk right there beside him.

He groaned softly and shifted in place before his sockets began to ease open. It took a few blinks for him to summon up his eyelights and he stretched a bit as he did so, bones popping audibly in a few places. Only then did he turn his skull and look up at her.

“tori…?” He rasped, weakly stifling a yawn.

She nodded and did what she could to motion with her eyes at Frisk, giving his side a light squeeze as she did so. He blinked again, then his eyelights shrank slightly as realization set in through the haze of drowsiness. He gave her a look that told her he understood, stirring some level of relief in her soul.

“Yes dear, it is I, Toriel. Frisk is back now too. Sorry if we woke you. How are you feeling?” She asked, giving his side another gentle rub.

A wheeze of a chuckle escaped him, sounding appropriately hoarse.

“never better…” He croaked out sarcastically, rolling over to face the child after a brief period of hesitation.

Frisk met the skeleton’s eyelights and Toriel was surprised to see him look back without any visible nervousness.

“hey kiddo…” He wheezed softly. “good to see ya back.”

The child tilted their head a bit, taking in his dire appearance. Toriel found herself doing the same, marveling at his stellar acting ability. He really did look terrible… If she wasn't in on the lie, she would have likely been fooled herself. Frisk took a step towards him, eyes still shining apologetically.

(Hi Sans, sorry that I woke you up, and sorry you don't feel good.) They signed, a touch nervously.

The skeleton watched them form the words and then sluggishly pushed himself up into a sitting position with Toriel’s help. He settled back against the pillow before replying.

“don't worry bout it, it's my own dumb fault for not taking care of myself. i’ll be fine. your mom made sure of that.”

He shot her a look as he said that last part, and she understood it as a subtle thanks for everything, his way of giving her credit for all she’d done. A soft, true smile graced her face in response and she couldn't seem to keep some heat from rising to her cheeks. She was eternally grateful that her fur kept it hidden from her child. Frisk’s expression did shift into more of a smile at that though.

(What do you have, you think?) They asked after a bit, glancing at the waste basket. (Did you throw up? The flu made me throw up a lot… it's not the flu is it?)

Sans grimaced a bit, letting out an awkward chuckle.

“well uh… _ill_ spare you the details kiddo, but yah... it wasn't pretty. it's probably not the flu though, most likely just a bug. shouldn't take too long to pass. and it shouldn' be contagious or anything now.”

The weary and hoarse explanation prompted a small nod from Frisk, who took his last few words as an okay to crawl up onto the couch and join them. Toriel almost wanted to say something to stop them, but a reassuring look from Sans told her he was okay with it… more or less. She trusted him, focusing on keeping her own nerves under control.

He gave his lap a pat and the child happily crawled into it, giving him a mindfully gentle hug before settling in place. The skeleton ruffled the child’s brown hair affectionately, prompting a quiet giggle from them. They then turned a bit and reached up to gingerly touch his skull, eyes glued on the scar there. She could see a few beads of sweat forming, but he kept his casual expression in place.

(You don't feel hot. That's good.) The child signed once they pulled their hands back. (must mean your fever’s broken.)

Toriel shifted closer to the two and lightly patted Frisk’s head, impressed by their understanding of that.

“That is right Frisk! Looks like someone was paying attention in last month’s lesson.” She praised them.

“you're right t.” Sans rasped in agreement. “i’ve _determined_ that this kiddo here is a real smart cookie.”

The child’s smile grew further and their soul radiated warmth from all the praise and attention. They shot them both a somewhat shy, thankful look. Their attention was still fixed on Sans though and they quickly moved their hands to form another question.

(You got hurt because you fell right? What happened?) They asked him, and Toriel’s nervousness returned in a flash.

Sans seemed to remain calm though, only his unsteady eyelights and the sweat drops on his skull displaying his unease. He gave a small shrug of his shoulders.

“eh, the fever had me really dizzy and i stood up too quickly. kinda... blacked out and smacked my skull on the floor. and with my hp like it is, it really _cracked_ me up.” He said with surprisingly confidence, weak grin widening at the last part.

Damn he was good at this. He sounded a hundred times more convincing than she had. Frisk seemed to be believing him too, pouting a bit at his joke downplaying the seriousness of the scar. The frown on their face remained as they continue to stare at it, lifting their hands to sign again after a few moments.

(Does it hurt?) They asked, still staring intently.

The question brought back more memories of the previous night, where she had been the one to ask that same question about another, far more terrible scar. She had to will herself to push them back, worried the stress from them would begin to show on her face.

Sans shook his head in response to their question, shooting them another wide grin.

“nah, not at all. tori patched me up real good kiddo. it’ll go away in a week or so.” He assured them, still feigning a rather strained voice.

Frisk continued to stare for a while longer but then nodded, more to themself it seemed, and snuggled back up against the skeleton. He looked down at them with a somewhat conflicted grin, but wrapped an arm gently around them in return. A few more beads of sweat dripped down his skull, and Toriel shot him a sympathetic look. She felt the need to give him an out to this situation.

“Frisk my child, how about you come sit with me instead? Sans needs to rest dear.” She reminded them gently.

Sans gave the kid’s head another pat, quick to agree with her.

“yah c’mon kiddo, wouldn't your mom’s lap be more comfortable? i'm all, heh, _bare bones_.”

There was a pause where the child didn't move, only shot Toriel a slightly apologetic look then turned to press their face against Sans’ hoodie. Then both were surprised to suddenly hear them speak aloud.

“W-want to stay here with you… for a wh-while… please.” They croaked, voice weak from disuse.

Toriel felt her soul practically leap inside her. Her child so rarely chose to speak using their voice. It wasn't that they couldn't talk, it just took a lot out of them and usually caused them a great deal of stress. They found it far easier to communicate using sign language and had become adept at it mere months after arriving on the surface. She remembered well how happy they'd been when everyone agreed to learn it in order to accommodate them, even the usually bitter and callous Flowey. For them to talk now must mean the request was deeply important to them in some way.

The gravity of this wasn't lost on Sans, who relented with a soft, shaky sigh and slowly closed his arms around the child.

“alright kiddo…” he rasped, settling back against the pillow behind him.

She could practically see the thoughts racing through his skull, before he seemed to settle on something and his smile loosened up again.

“how bout this? you can sit here with me and all of us will watch two or three episodes of that one show you like. the one with the uh…human kid with the pink crystal in his belly. then you head off to bed. since its a school night and all… if that's alright with tori of course.”

He said that last part with a glance at Toriel, who quickly worked up a stronger smile on her face and nodded.

“That is fine with me dear, so long as you both are fine with me doing _this_.”

With that, she reached over and scooped up both of them with ease, lifting the pair into her lap and wrapping her own arms snugly around them. Frisk seemed more than happy with the compromise, giggling softly as she leaned down to give them a nuzzle on the cheek. Sans gave a warm chuckle in response as well, devolving into a few, likely fake, coughs before he could speak again.

“well look at that kiddo, you have entered hug-ception.” He wheezed, settling gratefully against Toriel’s chest.

The wordplay prompted both her and Frisk to laugh once more and there was a moment where all three of their souls swelled with warm emotions. She was almost able to forget all her reservations about the situation. It all seemed so normal and their lie had gone successfully undetected so far. It was almost enough to let her relax, but that small twinge of fear still kept her just a bit on edge.

Frisk readjusted in order to face the TV as Sans used his magic to levitate the remote off the table and into their hands. He appeared to make a show of making it seem to be more difficult for him than usual, though there was a chance his unstable state was legitimately affecting him. Frisk thanked him with a small nod before switching on the TV and navigating to where they could play the recorded episodes of all the shows they enjoyed.

The three of them watched the cartoon for a while after that, the two adults doing their best to keep their secret stress under wraps. Toriel tried to focus on the show, and it was certainly charming, but she wasn't sure she understood what was going on. Something about the gem boy saving a blue alien from a spaceship and two other small aliens fusing into one big one? The big one also had a great singing voice, especially considering she was singing while fighting, Toriel wasn't sure she could accomplish that.

Even if she didn't totally get what she was watching, it was clear why Frisk enjoyed the show. The main character’s proclivity towards kindness and acts of mercy being an obvious relatable draw for them. At least… a draw for them _now_.

It took a lot to suppress the shudder that wished to affect her as everything she'd learned over the past few days came rushing back. The show on the TV in front of her faded to a blur of color and noise for a while as she again worked to calm herself, thankful for the distraction keeping her child’s mind occupied. Sans gave her a weary look, seeming to pick up on her shift in emotions. He freed a hand to give her arm a gentle squeeze. His show of understanding reminded her again that she wasn't alone in this, and it helped bring some peace back to her soul.

She felt the urge in that moment to lean down and give him an appreciative nuzzle. But with Frisk right there, she quickly banished the thought and realized she had become perhaps too comfortable with such displays of affection. She settled for shooting him a warm smile instead, trying to keep her sudden flustered feelings under wraps. The trio went back to watching the show for some time, all enjoying whether they were able to follow the plot or not. Toriel could also hear the distant sound of Flowey shouting, clearly getting quite into whatever video game he was playing in his and Frisk’s shared room.

The games were typically far too violent for her taste, but they did seem to be a viable way for him to get out the anger and other violent emotions that he seemed to struggle with. So she had eventually begrudgingly allowed them. Sans and Frisk occasionally played video games together too, thankfully less… graphic ones. They especially seemed to enjoy the ones with the Pocket Monsters and the... Super Smashing Brothers? Something like that. Papyrus typically wasn't interested in such things, aside from a few puzzle games he had on his phone.

Toriel herself usually found them a bit too much for her, but she had, rather embarrassingly, once become quite addicted to one before, a few months into their new life on the surface. It was a simple game Frisk had gifted her about running a village of animals, building houses, catching fish, collecting furniture and, most appealing to her, catching bugs. She had eventually had to force herself to step away from it when she caught herself playing it even during her lunch breaks at work. Though during some of those nights of dreadful insomnia, there may have been a few times where she indulged herself with it again.

Her musing continued for a while, thoughts drifting from one mundane topic to another to keep from focusing on anything that would further her stress. Sans was clearly trying his best not to drift back into sleep, watching the show on TV through half-lidded sockets and hazy eyelights. Frisk just eagerly watched the show, occasionally letting out a soft giggle at some of the more humorous scenes. The atmosphere was eventually broken abruptly by the sound of screeching tires in the driveway outside. All of them turned to look in that direction, until Sans spoke up and drew their attention to him instead.

“welp, you two might wanna let me go now.” He rasped, a touch nervously. “i gotta feeling… hurricane pap is about to make landfall.”

Toriel and Frisk both blinked at him in confusion, before the sound of of the front door swinging open with great force wrenched both of their gazes in that direction once more. Sans did not turn to look, clearly knowing all too well what was coming.

“SAAAANS?!” The unmistakable voice of Papyrus all but screeched, high with desperate worry.

Toriel couldn’t see him from where she was, but for the brief moment it took her to recognize the voice, the skeleton had already barreled into the living room, skidding slightly on the hardwood floor. She only had a moment to take in the sight of him. He was wearing a sunset colored t-shirt stretched over his battle body that displayed the words “Beach Dude” on it, as well as a shell necklace that hung around his neck atop his scarf. His massive backpack from before was still hefted onto his shoulders. It looked even more overstuffed than before, no doubt from the many souvenirs he had certainly brought back with him.

His skull swung in their direction, taking in the scene in mere seconds. She seemed to have even less time than that to pull Frisk off of Sans and into her lap before Papyrus had rushed over to them and whisked Sans up into his arms. The younger skeleton embraced his older brother tightly, frantically beginning to babble out his obvious concerns.

“SANS, OH GOODNESS, OH GOODNESS, PLEASE TELL ME YOU ARE OKAY! I AM SO SORRY I LEFT! I KNEW YOU SEEMED TO BE GETTING WORSE AND NOW YOU ARE SICK AND YOU’VE INJURED YOURSELF AND AND AN-”

“pap… easy... i-it’s okay...” Sans croaked, voice even quieter than usual.

Even with how soft the reply had been, it was enough to make Papyrus cease his rambling and relax by degrees. He sniffed a bit, perhaps fighting back tears and trying to regain his usual bravado. Sans only slowly returned the embrace, wrapping his arms around his brother’s neck and wearily pressing his face into his scarf. Toriel thought she saw him tremble a bit, and she wasn’t fully sure It was part of his acting. It was only then Papyrus really seemed to notice her and Frisk sitting on the couch in front of him. She offered him a slightly awkward smile and a little wave. Frisk did the same, as well as signed something up to the tall skeleton.

“S-SORRY FRISK, MS. TORIEL… THAT WAS QUITE RUDE OF ME… I-I JUST...” He stammered, stopping when she shook her head in response.

“It is alright my friend, we understand. It is good to see you back.” She assured him, feeling a twinge of relief when Frisk nodded in agreement with her.

Papyrus shot them both a small, thankful smile before returning all his attention to Sans. Toriel could only watch as the conversation unfolded before her, feeling her nerves grip her soul ever tighter as it went on.

“BROTHER LET ME LOOK AT YOU...” Papyrus said in a more controlled tone, gently prying his brother off of him and holding him out at arm’s length.

Sans allowed this, offering a weak grin as his younger brother carefully looked him over as though he were some malfunctioning component in one of the younger skeleton’s old puzzles. His gaze was inevitably drawn mostly to the scar on Sans’ skull and Toriel could see it was causing distress to flare up in him. There were clearly a million things he wanted to say, but he kept his jaw tightly clenched for a good while. Eventually he released all the breath he had apparently been holding with a sigh.

“YOU LOOK TERRIBLE…” He said sadly, stiff posture deflating a bit. “AND I DON’T SAY THAT TO BE MEAN BROTHER.”

Sans gave a low, hoarse chuckle and his grin widened.

“yah… i know bro…”

Papyrus’ frown deepened, and he cleared his metaphorical throat before going on in a more stern torn.

YOUR MESSAGE DIDN’T PROPERLY CONVEY THE SEVERITY OF YOUR CONDITION AT ALL! JUST HOW SICK ARE YOU SANS? AND HOW DID YOU END UP FALLING? THAT ISN’T LIKE YOU AT ALL!”

The older skeleton met his younger brother’s questions with a long, weary sigh, really playing up just how awful he was pretending to, or perhaps really did, feel. But then he managed to recount to Papyrus their carefully planned explanations for all that had happened, telling him the same fabrications that he had just told Frisk. To Toriel’s immense relief, she saw no real suspicion on the younger skeleton’s face, just concern that he was clearly struggling not to let overwhelm him again. She could only imagine how utterly devastated and panicked Papyrus would be if he knew the truth.

Once Sans had finished talking, Papyrus just stared at him for a bit with a terribly sad expression. Then, he seemed to realize how exhausted and rather uncomfortable his brother looked, still dangling there by his arms. He carefully pulled him in close again and went to sit on the couch next to Toriel and Frisk, finally seeming to, mostly, relax. Sans glanced up at the younger skeleton gratefully, before starting to ease his sockets shut. Papyrus speaking up caused them to flutter open again though.

“S-SORRY BROTHER, IF MY PANICKED BEHAVIOR HAS WORSENED ANY OF YOUR AILMENTS AT ALL…” He apologized, in an uncharacteristically uncertain tone.

Sans gave him a pat, forcing himself out of his near dozing in order to speak to him more clearly.

“don’t worry bout it bro, i’m okay, just a little _rattled_ , heh.”

With that, Toriel couldn’t help but feel like she was intruding a little. The brothers probably needed to talk things out amongst themselves, not to mention Sans was now having to keep up his act with both the monster and the human he was most worried about watching him closely. She could at least make the situation easier for him by making it so he only had to focus on Papyrus. Settling on that thought, she gathered Frisk more properly in her arms and carefully got up from the couch. Both skeleton brothers looked up at her as she did so, momentarily distracted from their conversation.

“Do not mind me.” She said, willing up a convincing smile. “You two should catch up for a while. I am going to put Frisk to bed, and then probably turn in for the night. I have an early start at the school tomorrow after all. Let me know if either of you need anything. I expect to hear more details of your trip tomorrow though, my friend.”

Papyrus’ expression lit up at that, and there was a flash of understanding that passed between the two. Sans though, had only a slightly noticeable uneasy look on his face, and she didn’t have to guess why. The two of them had grown so much closer during these few short days, they’d spent all that time in each other's presence, able to be open and rely on each other in a way they never had before. They had both grown comfortable with it. For them to suddenly return so abruptly to their normal routines, their normal lives, after all that… She was sure that if one looked closely, they’d see a similar sadness and uncertainty in her eyes too.

“MOST CERTAINLY MS. TORIEL! YOU CAN COUNT ON IT!” Papyrus’ replied in a far more chipper tone, breaking her from her musing.

She offered a somewhat weak smile in reply before her gaze inevitably met Sans’ again, feeling like she had to say something.

“Be sure to… get some rest Sans. And sleep in as much as you wish tomorrow, I have already called you in a sick day at the school. That new hire agreed to cover your shifts... “

She trailed off briefly, feeling emotions swirling fiercely about within her soul, but knowing if she voiced them, they would come off as… suspect. So she settled for repeating herself.

“If you start feeling badly again… do not hesitate to let me know, okay?” She asked, softer than before.

She could tell the true meaning of the words had been communicated, that same warring of emotions was briefly visible in the lights of his eyes. But then they softened, and he seemed to relax a bit more before giving a small nod.

“yah… sure tori… thanks.” He rasped, equally quiet in his response.

It was the prompting she needed to leave the room without too much worry for him. She turned to do so, but a gentle tug on her dress pulled her attention back down to Frisk. They didn’t have to sign anything for her to realize what they wanted.

“Oh, my apologies my child.” She replied, turning back to face the brothers again and kneeling down so that Frisk was directly in front of them. “Go on and say goodnight.”

Frisk reached out towards them and was quickly reciprocated with two sets of bony hugs in return, lingering for a bit before they were released.

“GOODNIGHT FRISK! SLEEP WELL! WE WILL TALK MORE TOMORROW OKAY? OH! AND I’LL HAVE YOUR SOUVENIR WAITING FOR YOU ONCE YOU ARE DONE WITH SCHOOL. NYEH HEH HEH!”

“night kiddo, sleep tight.”

Both their responses practically came in unison, the younger skeleton’s voice nearly totally drowning out the older. It was an amusing cacophony that made Frisk laugh lightly again before signing out their own goodnight messages to each of them. Toriel couldn’t make it the words exactly from her position, but they brightened the smiles on both skeleton’s faces. Before could attempt to stand up again though, Papyrus spoke up again, eye sockets sparkling all of a sudden.

“OH! BEFORE YOU GO MS. TORIEL, MAY I HAVE A GOODNIGHT KISS?” He asked in his usual happy tone, but one that seemed to be hiding something, much like the tone he’d used during his phone call two nights ago.

It was a request that made a small giggle escape her. He hadn’t asked her to do that for a while. Back when they’d first arrived on the surface, he’d saw that she did that for Frisk and he’d been eager to ask her for one too. Perhaps it was something about skeletons not being able to kiss that made receiving one so appealing to him. She wasn’t sure. Oh that Papyrus, he could be such an enigma to her at times, maybe it was a family trait. Nonetheless, she was happy to oblige him.

“Very well.” She said warmly, before leaning down to give him a peck on the forehead. “Goodnight, my friend.”

Papyrus gave a pleased chuckle, before his expression shifted into something a bit more mischievous. She was surprised to hear Frisk give a suspicious giggle as well.

“WELL, AREN’T YOU GOING TO GIVE SANS ONE TOO?” He asked, playfully raising a brow ridge at her.

That question made her freeze up like she had with Kid, and her gaze locked with Sans’ by instinct. He certainly mirrored her reaction, eyelights shrinking and grin going stiff. Suddenly it became clear what had just happened. This had been a trap, and she had played right into it.

Now they were all staring at her, waiting for her response. There was no easy way out of this. If she refused that would only be more suspicious. But if she went through with it… it was probably going to obvious that kissing him, even like this, was… different for her. Oh stars, she needed to get a hold of herself. It was just a friendly gesture that she did for all members of her family, nothing more. The best way to counter this little game from Frisk and Papyrus was to just do it, but show no sign of it having any deeper meaning to her. She could manage that, even if sight of the poorly restrained blush on Sans’ face was making it difficult to focus.

Before he could start stuttering out something that would likely only make the situation worse, she spoke up.

“Alright then.” She replied, doing all she could to appear unphased by the request.

And with that, she leaned down again and lightly kissed him between the eye sockets, letting it linger only a moment before she pulled away.

“Goodnight Sans.” She said simply, lips curling back into a smile as she did so.

It was… nice, really nice, and she regretted the fact she had to restrain any of those feelings at the moment. She found it far more difficult than she expected to keep the sudden fluttering of her soul under wraps, but she felt she managed it okay. Sans however, had gone quite blue in the face, eyelights mere pinpricks. It took him a bit to respond, and his reaction was proving quite entertaining to Frisk and Papyrus. If she weren’t also the target of this behavior she may of been driven to feel some humor at his expense too. But as it was she could only give him a sympathetic smile.

“n-night tori…” He managed to eventually get out in response, before weakly attempting to regain his usual grin.

He didn’t succeed in full, the situation clearly breaking his careful concentration on his act he’d been keeping up until this point. It was enough though that the two pranksters seemed somewhat disappointed by the lack of a more embarrassing reaction from the two of them. That gave Toriel some degree of satisfaction she gathered Frisk up into her arms again and bid the brothers one last farewell before heading for the child’s room.

The two skeletons began their conversation again as she walked away, re-stirring her original anxieties as she wondered just how deeply Papyrus would try to pry. She forced herself to tune it out and walk away though, mindful that she had to focus on dealing with Frisk at the moment. The child grumbled softly, no doubt still somewhat disappointed their attempt at flustering her had not been as successful as they would have liked. She shot them a bit of a wry grin.

“What has you so grumpy my child?” She teased, unable to keep the grin off her face.

They playfully swatted at one of her long ears and they couldn’t help but smile back, but did not reply beyond that. The two of them reached the child’s room and she set them down to allow them to get ready for bed. Flowey paid them no mind from his place at the computer, still muttering to himself and poking out his tongue in concentration as he continued playing his video game. Toriel let him be for the moment, figuring she could get him to unplug once Frisk was ready and could assist her. She just leaned against the doorframe and checked her phone while she waited.

She could faintly pick up on the sound of the skeleton brother’s conversation from the other room. Papyrus’ higher, clipped voice and the soft rumble of Sans’. The tone and exact words were lost on her, only further intensifying her worries. So she made an effort to block it out and focus her attention on her phone. There were a few messages from Alphys and Undyne, mostly assurances that they’d gotten home safely, but there was a longer message from Undyne staring back at her too. No doubt about Asgore and her failure to reply or act on the requests from Undyne’s earlier message. As before, she ignored it, not having the mental energy to give any of that focus at the moment.

Thankfully it didn’t take long after that for Frisk to return in their pajamas and convince Flowey to detach from the games for the night. The flower monster had bickered with the human child for a short while, but conceded without too much of a fight, clearly pretty tired even if he wouldn’t admit it. Frisk set his pot on the side table before crawling into bed. Toriel was at their side moments later, carefully tucking them in as was the usual beginning of their nightly ritual. Frisk sleepily smiled up at her as she did so, but that smile slowly faded into a frown as they continued to look at her. She mirrored that frown as concern set in.

“What is wrong, my child?” She asked, gently running her claws through their hair.

The question made Frisk’s expression shift to a slight nervousness. It also drew Flowey’s attention from the side table, and he peeked out at them from under a petal in his curled up position. After a beat, the child lifted their hands to sign to her.

(Are you…) They paused briefly, making small meaningless nervous motions with their hands. (Are you okay Mom?)

Toriel slowly blinked in response, her anxieties surging anew. Oh stars, she’d been doing so well, hadn’t she? Was she really failing now and letting her internal turmoils show on the surface? Or had she been obvious from the beginning and her child had simply waited until now to comment on it? She swallowed and willed herself to remain calm, offering the most convincing smile she could muster.

“What do you mean sweetheart? Of course I am.” She assured them.

Frisk’s frown did not budge though, and they only hesitated a few moments before signing again.

(You look... Your eyes are sad. And tired… Like... Sans’...) They formed the words slowly, clearly not sure how to communicate the thought exactly. Toriel understood it though, and it chilled her.

Did she really have that same hopelessness in her eyes now? So apparent, that even her child could see it? The thought did not sit well and it took her some time to work through her rising unease to formulate a response.

“I am sorry dear, I do not know what you mean. I was… pretty upset and worried last night when Sans got hurt, so I did not sleep too well. But everything is okay now and I am alright Frisk. Do not worry about me.”

This time her words did seem to pacify Frisk a little, though she could tell they were still scrutinizing her. They did seem to concede though and let the topic drop there, moving on to something else that was apparently on their mind.

(That crack Sans has… It makes him look like another monster I met once. A really strange one.) They signed, far more confidently.

Toriel was more than happy to move away from any discussion regarding her apparently poor acting ability, but still, that gave her pause.

“What strange monster?” She asked, settling both paws on the side of the bed as she gave the child her full attention.

Frisk kneaded their blanket a bit with their hands before lifting them again and continuing.

(I met him back in the Underground, In Waterfall.) They signed. (He had the same kind of crack, but deeper, and another one on his face too, that went from his left eye socket into his mouth.)

Eye socket…That detail brought forth a startling realization in Toriel’s mind. She had to remind herself to try and keep her tone controlled when she felt the urge to unleash a barrage of questions.

“So… this strange monster was a… skeleton?” She asked, unsure if Frisk knew the gravity of that statement or not.

As far as she knew, Sans and Papyrus were among the last skeletons left amongst the monster kingdom. Hell, they could very well be the last of their kind altogether. The skeletons were some of the first to be wiped out en masse during the war. Many of them were on the front lines for the first major battles and paid dearly for it, along with the undeads, the goblins and the trolls. Of course, she could be mistaken. After all, she had been absent for over a century, and there were many thousands of monsters in the monster kingdom. Who was to say there hadn’t been other surviving skeletons wandering the Underground then? On top of that, Sans and Papyrus were... “descendants” of another skeleton. Their father must have…

Her thoughts stalled then, everything Sans had told her about “Gaster” coming back to her in a flash. For a moment, her mind entertained a truly unthinkable idea. But it was quickly banished for its absurdity, and she refocused on Frisk as they signed their answer.

(I think so, but he was really messed up… kind of… melty? And he got scared when he saw me and... disappeared… I kind of… forgot about him until I saw Sans’ scar just now. Its weird.)

Their answer only stirred up that inane thought again, especially that last part. Stars above, she was not prepared to be dealing with this. She had to end this, she couldn’t handle any further fracturing of her worldview right now. Praying that her feigned calm expression still remained, she drew a steadying breath and forced a reply.

“Well that is… very strange indeed, my child. I am sorry. I hope that it is not scaring you. I would hate for you to have nightmares…” She said, trying to subtly draw the conversation back to sleep and away from… that.

Frisk shook their head in response, a small smile returning to their face.

(No, It doesn’t scare me Mom, it's just weird.) Their hands paused as a yawn escaped them. (I should probably go to sleep now, huh?)

Her relief at that was almost tangible, and she wondered how much of it her child picked up on. She couldn’t focus on that right now and leaned over to give Frisk an affectionate nuzzle.

“Yes dear, that would probably be best. You do have school in the morning after all.” She reminded them, working some lightness back into her voice. “Try not to worry too much about Sans or these other things. Everything will be alright. And I look forward to hearing more about all the fun you had at Kid’s party tomorrow after your lessons.”

That brought out a slightly stronger smile from Frisk, and it only grew when Toriel leaned over and pressed a kiss to their forehead. Now she had officially kissed everyone in the house goodnight. That idea brought back a spark of warmth to her soul despite everything, and she decided it may not be such a bad idea to make it a regular thing.

“Goodnight, my child. I love you.” She said, letting that newfound warmth coat her words. “Sleep well, I will see you in the morning.”

Frisk’s brown eyes softened, the lingering concern in them melting away for the moment. They snuggled into the blankets and she tucked them in more snugly. They signed to her one last time before curling up.

(Goodnight Mom, love you too.)

Their words, though something she heard from them on a daily basis, furthered that warmth within her and she clung to it as best she could to keep the negative, panicky thoughts at bay. Still, one of those thoughts inevitably broke through and it burned at the forefront of her mind as she looked down at the small form of her child nestled under the blankets.

Was this really the cold eyed child from her dream? A child who had _killed_ her?… killed Sans?… killed…

She forced herself to get to her feet and begin to walk away, the bitter mixing of emotions in her soul making her feel ill. Her eyes landed on Flowey as she did so, and the sick feeling inside her only worsened at the sight of him. There was an... unsettling grin on his face and some darker emotion shining in his eyes as he looked at her. As shaken as she felt, she still attempted to work up a believable grin and address him.

“Goodnight Flowey...” She said, internally cursing how much weaker her voice sounded.

The flower monster let out a soft chuckle, his pointed fangs, not unlike hers actually, flashing a bit as his grin widened.

“Nighty night. Don’t let the nightmares bite~” He trilled in a sing song voice.

Then he promptly curled up again, facing away from her. She could only stare for a few moments, panic wanting so badly to tear at her soul again. Did he know? No… how could he? Surely he didn’t… He was simply trying to get under her skin like he always did. But that look on his face wouldn’t leave her, and she had a feeling it would stay that way for a while yet. In somewhat of a daze, she went to the door and shut off the light with a click.

She was definitely not getting any sleep tonight.

\-------------

Hours later, long into the night, she found her earlier suspicions had been painfully correct. She couldn’t get her mind to relax a moment, flooded with worries and paranoia unlike anything she had experienced before. The very notion of sleep felt like some intangible distant concept as her wide scarlet eyes peered blankly into the darkness of her room, and at the notably empty spot beside her. An empty spot that prompted yet another rush of unwanted thoughts.

It was ridiculous... Sans had only shared her bed with her twice. She had slept alone for more than a _century_. Why was it suddenly affecting her like this? Was her loneliness really that severe, that that one little reminder of what it was like to sleep alongside another monster had driven her to be this selfish? And beyond that, he had only done that at all because he was suffering deep down and needed the comfort, not because he…

She rolled over with a soft groan, squeezing her eyes shut and pressing her face into the pillows. Stars above, what she wouldn’t do right now if she could just get the raging of her mind and soul to end. At this rate she’d be stumbling into work in the morning utterly exhausted and sleep deprived. Not that that was exactly uncommon given her insomnia, but with all this added stress weighing down on her she wasn’t sure how well she’d be able to actually teach. And failing in her mission to educate young minds was just inexcusable to her. She had fought too hard and too long to open that school to let all those nasty human women be right about her in the end.

Her lungs burned and she had to roll over again for air, staring up at the ceiling. Her thoughts again turned to Sans, wondering with a surge of pain in her soul how he was faring at the moment. Was he in the grips of another horrible night terror right now? Was he lying there in his room sick and disoriented as he tried to pull himself back to reality? Or had it already passed and he was out wandering the house right now, perhaps even expecting her to come join him at some point? None of those possibilities made her feel any better, and her worry for him grew until it overwhelmed every other thought within her mind.

Eventually, she knew she just had to get up and check on him. She had reluctantly agreed previously to his insistence that they return to their usual nightly routines. Likely, it was a request born from continuing shame over all that had happened and perhaps also from ensuring no one else in the house got the “wrong idea.” But that just wasn’t a good enough reason at this point. She had assured him yesterday that they would be alright and before that, that she’d not let him suffer through these nightmares alone anymore. She couldn’t let either of their anxieties and insecurities about what the others thought keep her from acting on her promises. But as she sat up and got herself to the edge of the bed, almost as though by fate, she was stopped by the sound of soft knocking on her door.

She froze, long ears perking up a bit, feeling as though she must have imagined it. But it came again, two knocks, still just as soft, perhaps even softer, as though whoever was knocking was losing confidence. But she was well aware now of who it was, and what she had to say.

“Who is there?” She asked softly but elevated enough that the person on the other side could hear.

“adore…” Came the muffled response, just audible enough to hear.

Her soul swelled in response to the voice, even if it had been quite obvious who it was from the start.

“Adore who?” She answered back, crossing the short distance to the door and resting her paw on the doorknob.

“there’s adore between us… mind opening it up?” He finished the joke, and the irony of it dredged up a bittersweet nostalgia.

Back then she had longed so often to open the Ruins door for him, but simply couldn’t. Now though, there was no door that would keep them apart, not on her watch. She turned the knob and opened it without a moment’s hesitation, revealing the small skeleton standing in the doorway. It only took one look at him to see he had not slept a wink either, and was as likely just as inundated with paranoid thoughts as she was. For a moment, they could only somberly take in the equally poor appearance of the other, before Sans got the will to speak again.

“hey…” He croaked, and this time she knew the strain in his voice wasn’t feigned anymore. “th-thought you might be up…”

He paused, eyelights wavering as he seemed to be searching for what to say.

“so… uh… about this whole... y’know... going back to normal thing…”

He trailed off for a moment, and Toriel didn’t hesitate to speak up then, knowing well what he intended to say.

“Sans…” Her voice drew his shaky eyelights back up to her.

“It is okay dear, you do not have to say it. I understand.” She said softly, before stepping aside to let him in. “Come in.”

Relief and gratitude shone briefly in the weak lights of his eyes, and he shuffled inside without another word. She gently shut the door behind him and walked with him back to the bed, a place that now felt as personal a meeting spot for them on nights like this as the front porch. Even now though, he still looked to her for silent permission before climbing onto the bed and settling in beside her under the blankets. While his consideration was admirable, part of her again hoped that in time, he would feel comfortable enough with things like this to loose that hesitation he felt.

“ _But why would he_?” Her mind prodded her. “ _You are thinking like this is something that will last even after he has recovered. You are being selfish again you old goat_.” As before, she shut out the thoughts to the best of her ability. She didn’t need to think about that right now.

But she hated that she _did_ feel so much better now that he was here again. She really was so stupidly predictable. Oh well, at least it meant that they may actually get some sleep, that is, between the nightmares they now both were likely to suffer from. She highly doubted the one she had last night was a one off thing after all. That confusing swirl of thoughts was interrupted when movement at her side drew her attention there again. Sans silently huddled close to her, and her soul promptly calmed in response, allowing her to focus on him again.

It was clear to her that this time, he really didn’t want to talk about anything. Not about what had happened with his brother after she left, not about the stress of keeping up this act while still feeling so unstable, not about that… “kiss”, not about his breakdown the previous day, and especially not about his obvious guilt over his implied asking of her to help him with his nightmares once more. Right now, he just wanted to be close to someone, to feel safe and somewhat stable again, and that was perfectly fine with her. Even if there were things from her conversation with Frisk that she did want to ask him about, not to mention things that had been stirred up from her past that she now felt he should know, she was content with keeping it all to herself for now.

She wrapped her arms around him and held him close, feeling the angry chaos in her mind recede all the more as he returned the gesture. There was a similar reaction she could feel from his soul as he buried his face against her neck. There was still a lot of fear there, among other things, resulting in some soft rattles as his body shivered for a bit. Overall though, she could feel his soul’s unsteady magic grow calmer as she gently ran a paw down his back, tenderly tracing the vertebrae in a now practiced manner. It was a reaction that banished any lingering doubt about what she wished to say next, even with how bold it likely would come across.

“Sans…” She spoke his name quietly, and his subtle shifting let her know he was listening.

“Perhaps… You should just sleep here from now on, come here once the others go to sleep each night. At least until we can find some way to help you with these nightmares.”

Silence met her words for a while, and she found herself holding her breath somewhat as she waited for his answer. Eventually though, he did manage a soft reply.

“alright…” He rasped. “if… if you’re sure you are okay with that...”

Relief welled in her soul and she tightened her grip on him by degrees, letting it be as much of an answer as her next words were.

“You know I am. I was just about going mad with worry before you knocked on the door, and I was actually getting up to go find you. Trying to endure this alone will do neither of us any good at this point.”

He made a soft, vague sound of agreement, and then went quiet for a minute or so before a weak few chuckles escaped him.

“just don’t tell my bro or the kiddo bout this, might be a lil harder to come up with an explanation… at least… one that isn’t… y’know...”

He trailed off, and while his feeble attempts at humor didn’t quite get her to laugh, she did let her light amusement coat her reply.

“Yes, they would certainly never let us hear the end of it would they? Especially after that little stunt they pulled earlier.” She said, lips curling into a small smile.

He shook his head a bit with another soft wheeze of laughter and both their souls relished in the brief reprieve from their heavier emotions. The silence that followed this was far more comfortable, and the two of them finally felt that sleep was within their grasp. Before either of them could reach out and fully grasp it though, Sans spoke up one final time, prompting Toriel’s eyes to flutter open slightly.

“you always were a good roomie tori…” He murmured, before sleep quickly claimed him and he drifted off.

His words seemed to hang in the air after he had fallen asleep, leaving her feeling dumbfounded. It was a sensation she’d felt before, every time he uttered one of those strange things she couldn’t understand in the past. It took her a few moments to realize that this was yet another one to those moments. She had learned what explained those pasts things he’d said, but this one was… new.

Even now, there were things she didn’t know about him, things he still kept hidden. And the implications of this odd comment in particular kept her up for a good while longer before she was finally able join him in sleep.


	14. Darker

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Huzzah! I finished a chapter this week, and only a day late! \\( -o-)/ Apparently I lied though, because this chapter ended up being just as long as the last oops. Hopefully you expect that with me by now -v-; I really enjoy this one though. Hope you do too~ 
> 
> Warnings for this chapter: (Blood and Implied Death/Violence, Minor/Implied Suicidal themes possibly.)

As Toriel had predicted, the blessing of sleep came with a heavy price.

Sometime after she'd fallen into the grips of slumber, her eyes opened to find herself in large, open field in late evening, the air thick with… smoke? No, it wasn't smoke, and the realization of what it really was made a terrible chill run down her spine. The substance filling the air all around were clouds and clouds of monster dust, stirred up by a terribly unfortunate wind that was blowing. Her nostrils burned with the acrid stench of spent magic that was mixed in with it, the last embers of the mana that had made up these monsters before they were killed. Now that her eyes were focusing she could make out remnants of bone attacks sticking up from the ground all over like some kind of horrid plant species. Among them were bits of armor, swords, spears, clothing, great stains of blood, and piles of monster dust yet to join the terrible cloud around them.

Realization gripped her soul tight, making it churn with sudden intense emotion. Just like with her previous dream, she remembered this…

That familiarity kept her calm even when she once again found herself unable to move, just a hapless witness to what events were going to unfold before her.

"Stay close to me Toriel." A deep, rumbling voice said from beside her.

The sound of it nearly made her want to cry, if she had been capable of doing such a thing. Thankfully, her physical self turned to look up at the massive monster, who was looking out over the devastation with darkness in his eyes, but still with a royal, reserved calm. Her father, King Manual, then turned to face her as well, gently pulling her closer to his side with one of his massive paws.

"The humans have long left the area… but we cannot be too careful." He said, seeming to force a gentler voice with her. "Just stay here until the guard have finished the search."

Oh stars, hearing his voice again was so wonderful. Centuries of passed time had long robbed her of the memory of it. But now that she was hearing it again, it was like he'd never left. Her physical self began to weep softly as well, but not for any warm emotions, only feeling terribly frightened and exhausted. She cast her eyes down at her feet and the Toriel inside got a glance of her body, her  _teenage_  body, dressed in dirtied, dusty robes.

"Yes, Father." She heard herself say, sniffling.

Another voice spoke up at her other side then, far more harsh and unmoved. This one made a faint chill run down her spine and a deep, old sorrow bloom within her soul.

"Stand up straight Toriel, and _control_  yourself, this is no time for you to be acting like a child. Our people will look to you for guidance during this tragedy. Cease this selfish behavior at once."

Her head turned of its own accord to glance up at the other massive boss monster, clothed in robes and face hidden by a large hood. She could still make out the edges of horrible scars and burn marks on the visible portion of their face, as though it had been torn at by a set of red hot, brutally sharp claws. Both Toriels shuddered, internally and externally, as they regarded the regal form of their mother, Queen Guia.

As she remembered doing so many times in those days, she ducked her head and grit her teeth to reign in her emotions, tears burning at her ruby red eyes as she forced them back.

"Yes Mother… Sorry M-mother…" She croaked, earning another icy glare for her undignified shaky tone.

Situations like these, regarding the war, were the only moments that seem to consistently bring her mother out of her ashamed self-isolation due to her disfigurement. How painful it was, to know that the moment they returned to their castle, she'd retreat back into solitude and cease speaking to them. To know that the first time her mother had spoken to her likely in weeks, was just to berate her for her usual failure at upholding the family honor. The Toriel inside nearly forgot herself in that old despair, feeling her mother's cold gaze wither her just as much now as it had back then.

" _Stars above… what would she think of me now?_ " She thought, feeling ill. She could hardly comprehend just how angry and disappointed she would be… at her seemingly endless list of failures.

Those thoughts were halted however as the scene unfolding in the dream demanded her attention again. A Whimsalot guard flew over to them out of the dust cloud, wings buzzing as he hovered before the royal family and bowed to them.

"Your highnesses, we have swept the whole area, there are no signs of any humans… But, we did find one survivor." He said, gripping his spear tightly.

That gave the Toriel inside pause, suddenly very confused. She thought she remembered this event. She was sure this was where she and her family were told of the horrific tragedy of one of the first major battles of the war… and she was almost certain they were told that there had been  _no_  survivors. That didn't seem like a detail she'd get wrong, even after all this time. Nonetheless, the dream continued on this way, not stopping to let her sort through her thoughts.

Another guard, a black furred bear monster, emerged from the gloom next, flanked by two imp guards as well. The bear monster carried what looked like a shivering bundle of cloth, and from it, she could hear a distinct, familiar rattling sound. Toriel could feel her physical self perk up at the sight of it, soul burning with a slight spark of… hope? She didn't remember any of this now… But she kept watching all the same.

"Your highnesses." The bear monster said, in a rough but kindly voice. "This youth was the only one we found alive. It seems he was hiding beneath the rubble of his… deceased family's home. He is uninjured apart from a few minor scrapes, but he is… well… shell shocked we believe. Hasn't said a word."

The Queen began to say something in a somewhat dismissive tone, but the King interrupted her, stepping forward.

"Let me see him, I can at least attend to his wounds." He said, voice gentle as he gingerly scooped up the shuddering form from the guard into his massive paws.

As confused as she was by the unfamiliar turn of events, the Toriel inside felt a small spark of warmth at that. Her father had been one of the greatest masters of healing magic to ever live. She had learned everything she knew from him over the course of many lessons during her early years. Seeing him in action again would be a joy even in this dire situation. Her mother clearly thought otherwise though.

"Manual, dearest, must you concern yourself with this? Do you not think that this is a job for the medics?" She asked, sternly.

The King paid her little mind as he knelt on the ground, cradling the rattling bundle in the crook of one arm before summoning a green glow in his free paw.

"Guia, love, please. Now is not the time to worry over such things. I am here now and can tend to him myself. Seeing to it that he survives this is all that matters for the moment." He finally answered back, before carefully beginning to pull back the tangled fabric covering the distressed monster.

When he finally managed to uncover him, Toriel found herself looking upon… nothing. Well, there was certainly someone there, but when she looked upon them, it yielded nothing. It was a familiar sensation, one that she felt she may have experienced in another dream. This odd dulling of her senses as she looked upon this monster, like she was peering off a great cliff into the darkness below, on the brink of unconsciousness. At most she could make out a flash of bony limbs tightly curled into a shaking ball, the obvious source of the rattling, as well as a hint of a rounded white skull. All she could manage to conclude was that this monster that she could hardly perceive… seemed to be a skeleton. A teenage one at that, based on the size.

Despite the disorientation the Toriel inside felt, her physical self clearly was not experiencing the same thing. She heard herself and her father gasp lightly and her feet carried her over to him, despite her mother's protests. Getting close to the monster made the sick confused feelings worse, but she had no say in whether she could look away or not, force to suffer so long as the memory dictated. There was something here she should be realizing, dots she should be connecting, but her mind's lack of focus prevented it. She withdrew as much as she could by instinct, taking in what she could of the scene as it continued to unfold.

"I… I know this youth…" Her father rasped, gently running his paw over the skeleton's skull.

Toriel clearly seemed to recognize him as well, speaking up again in a distressed voice.

"That is Wingdings, father!" She said, gripping at the king's sleeve. "H-he is Gorey's friend! I have met him a few times before… oh stars… is h-he..?"

 _"Wingdings? Who…?"_ Her mind attempted to question, but it was lost as the vision carried on.

Her father glanced at her in acknowledgment, eyes grim and serious, before they softened again as he looked back down at the skeleton… Wingdings, apparently.

"Young one… Can you hear me?" The hulking boss monster rumbled soothingly as he made expertly short work of healing the skeleton's wounds. "It is I, King Manual. You are safe now, it is… It is over."

Toriel still couldn't perceive what was happening with the skeleton in her father's arm, but after a few moments, a terrible violent sobbing met her ears. "Wingdings" seemed to have broken out of the shock and fallen straight into fit of hysterics. The sound of it tore at Toriel's soul, finding it just a little too familiar. The king, an endlessly compassionate monster, gently pulled the bawling skeleton close and wrapped him in his great arms.

"I know… I know... I am sorry lad, I am so sorry…" He said softly, and Toriel could feel her eyes beginning to burn with tears again, her physical self's emotions churning within her.

She heard her mother approach from behind, grumbling something to a guard before speaking to her father.

"Manual, please, hand him off to someone else. It is not your responsibility to put up with this. We have other matters to attend to." The queen said, sounding more exasperated than anything.

"Guia, hush." He said, choosing not to face her. "Seeing to this is as important as anything else we could be doing here. If you are so inclined, go organize the guard to search the next settlement. I will join you shortly."

Her mother let out a huff of indignation, but turned and left without another word. Toriel stayed by her father's side, as well as the bear and imp guards from before, getting into practiced position around them to ensure their safety. The two boss monsters turned their attention back to the distressed skeleton cradled in her father's embrace, the only survivor of this… massacre. Wingdings began to choke out broken, strange words where he could between his sobbing. His voice was so… odd and not just because it was slurred from crying. It sounded unnatural, like a foreign language being spoken backwards and underwater. She couldn't make out any of the meaning behind the words. Neither could her father, it seemed.

"Easy… Easy lad… I am sorry… I cannot understand you…" The King said, gently rubbing the skeleton's back.

Toriel gave her father's arm a squeeze to get his attention, and the words that escaped her then left the Toriel inside feeling rather dumbfounded. Apparently she was well aware of why Wingdings sounded the way he did.

"H-he cannot… Father, he does not speak the same as most monsters. H-he usually signs to communicate." She informed him, voice trembling slightly.

As if on cue, both of their attentions were drawn upwards then as two hand shaped magic bullets formed over Wingding's skull and floated up before them. They twitched and began to shakily form words, though they shook so badly as he heaved with sobs beneath them that it was difficult to decipher them. Toriel was baffled to realize her younger self was reading the signs and understanding them. She had only just learned to understand sign language in full recently on the surface for Frisk's sake… how would her younger self understand them then? Again though, that question was forced back with all the others as she directed her attention towards deciphering the signed words.

DEAD

DEAD

DEAD

THEY ARE ALL DEAD

THE HUMANS KILLED THEM

THE HUMANS KILLED THEM

ALL OF THEM ARE DEAD

THEIR DUST MIXED UP AND BLEW AWAY

DEAD

DEAD

THEY ARE ALL DEAD

After that last one, he was just far too distraught to keep up sustaining the bullets, and they dissipated. After that, he collapsed back into hysterics and the King went back to doing his best to console him. Toriel's head turned down to look at her feet, finally freeing the Toriel inside from looking at Wingdings and clearing away the terrible dizzying effect he had on her mind for the moment. She coughed on the dust in the air and felt the faint sparks of magic sting at her eyes and nose again. Only after that did she seem to allow herself to shed a few tears again, perhaps now feeling less self-conscious of it with her mother gone.

It was painful, but the momentary respite allowed Toriel a moment to actually think straight for a bit and try to sort out _just what was happening here._ There was no way she would have forgotten this. Was this also a vision from another timeline? No… timelines that could be reset only existed, from her understanding, during the period where monsters were trapped underground. Then what was happening? Had her memories been tampered with? Was this all a bizarre false dream? Who was that Wingdings skeleton and why did she have such a strange reaction just from trying to look at him? Why did he seem so  _familiar_?

Could he be…? Oh stars, what had Sans said…? What was his father's full name? Gaster… Doctor Gaster… But did he have a first name…? Had he mentioned it? He hadn't said Wingdings she was sure but... Damn it, If she wasn't stuck in this dream… vision… memory, whatever, she could figure it out. Why was it going on so long? The last one hadn't been this long.

That thought came with a sudden burst of pain at her side, shaking her out of her reverie. Her vision creeped in with darkness at the edges, but her physical self did not seem to notice the pain, simply glancing back up at her father without flinching. The Toriel inside felt panic rising within her, wondering what she had just felt, but she was still a helpless witness to the unfolding scene and she watched on through her distress.

The King was rising to his feet, cradling the now quieter skeleton in his arms. Wait, was he… unconscious? It was hard to tell without being able to actually perceive his appearance when looking at him, but that is what it seemed like. Clearly even more time had passed than she had thought… or… the dream had shifted? What was happening?

"Get him back to our castle guardsman. Take him to Nadia, she will… she will look after him." Her father said quietly, gently handing the skeleton back over to the bear monster.

"I am sure Astelle and Gorius, er… the King and Queen of the eastern kingdom will wish to take him in, he… was serving out an apprenticeship there with their science division until recently. They regard him like family from what I was told and he is very close with their son. Have word sent immediately, he will stay with us until everything can be sorted out."

The bear monster nodded before bowing in farewell. Holding Wingdings close, he disappeared back into the gloom along with the other two imp guards. Once they were gone, Manual ran a paw through his great black mane with a deep sigh before turning back to her. As he settled his paws lightly on her shoulders, the terrible pain at her side flared up again, making the whole world feel like it was stuttering around her. Her physical self and her father did not react this time either though. His words met her ears but they felt far away, drowned out slightly by the ringing in her head.

"...Looks like ending this war quickly really is off the table, sweetie pie." He rasped, great green eyes heavy with sorrow, a rare expression on his face. "I am so sorry love, you deserved to grow up in a better world. Not live through this hateful mess that all us bitter adults have created…Humans and Monsters…"

He paused and another spike of pain wracked her, intense enough this time that her vision flickered. Her father's face went in and out of focus before her.

"Please promise me something sweetie pie, I know it is hard… Especially right now. But it is important if there is ever going to be hope in the future… For everyone." He went on, voice taking on an echoy quality.

"Do not ever let blind hatred consume your heart, my child. Always leave some room in you for forgiveness, for trust, even for those who do bad things, even for the humans. It is so easy for all of us to fall into mindless hatred and be driven to depravity by it during these times of war. But please my child, always be willing to see past prejudices, always keep love in your soul… and above all… please always be willing to show mercy. If you can do that, then there will always be hope, even in the darkest of times. And… you will have succeeded where my generation has failed you…"

Through the wavering haze of her vision, she saw the King hang his head, great shoulders slumping. Regret and despair shone in his eyes. And though Toriel could feel her younger self's soul flare up with disbelief and even anger at her father's words, eventually, right as another great crash of pain washed over her, she hung her head too with a weak nod.

"I promise, Father…"

And with that, everything seemed to shatter.

When she began to regain consciousness again, she felt something ram hard into her side, causing her body to shake with the impact. It jostled her awake fairly quickly and she shot up in bed, gasping lightly for air, air finally free of choking clouds of dust. It didn't take her as long as the previous night to regain back her composure and realize that she had just awoken from a… well perhaps nightmare was not the right word…

But her head was still so foggy and took far longer than her body to take in what was happening around her. It was a loud whining sound and another, lighter, impact at her side that finally snapped her out of it, banishing thoughts of what had just happened for the moment.

She turned and the sight that greeted her was processed one thing at a time. The thing jabbing at her side and whining was… GB, far larger in size than last time, and eyelights bright with distress. The room was faintly lit by a terribly familiar glow of alternating light blue and yellow. The spot on the bed beside her was… empty. It all clicked after a few moments and she felt her soul seize up inside her.

 _Oh no_ …

Panicked adrenaline gripped her and she was on her knees in seconds, quickly crawling over to the edge of the bed towards where the light was coming from. GB followed alongside her, still whining fretfully all the while. What met her eyes made it clear why the blaster was so worried.

Sans was curled up on his side on the floor, sockets wide, chest heaving and eyelight blazing with magic. Two other GBs hovered anxiously around him, their large forms making the room feel cramped and small. They nervously prodded their wielder in an attempt to rouse him, but their well meaning efforts proved detrimental. Every poke brought with it a violent flinch and another surge of magic from him, and she watched as he curled in tighter with a soft, strangled sound as another blaster appeared in a bright flash above him. This one burst to life with his jaws wide and flaring with blue magic, ready to attack. She flinched back, expecting the blast to be fired her way. But when this GB found himself looking at her, he simply blinked in confusion and turned to look down at his wielder, quickly realizing what was happening and joining in on the concerned whining with the other three.

Oh stars, if she didn't put a stop to this not only were they were likely to send Sans further and further into panic, but the noise they were making could wake the whole house, and that'd be a disaster for a multitude of reasons. She rushed to get off the bed and gently but firmly shooed the GB's away, shushing them all as well. They seemed to pick up on her intentions and obeyed without question, retreating as much as they could to watch from a distance and going mostly silent. Then it was just her and her dear, poor skeleton on the floor, and she tried to think through what to do before she acted on a whim.

A quick CHECK brought with it the relief that he hadn't lost any HP from his fall, and she silently thanked the stars for her convenient love of plush carpet. From the looks of it, he was in a state just about as bad as he had been three nights ago, if not as... vocal. In a way that was even more concerning though, making her wonder what it was he was seeing that drove him into such a terrified silence apart from his heavy breathing and the rattling of his bones. The fear and distress from his soul radiated out from him like heat from a fire, stirring Toriel's own soul with similar emotions.

She was able to keep herself calm though and reached over to gently lay a paw on him, gauging his reaction carefully. He did not flinch like he had from the prodding of his concerned blasters, he didn't seem to react much at all in fact. She would happily take that over a negative reaction at this point, and she moved her paw in a hopefully soothing manner over his side as she leaned in close to speak to him.

"Sans, dear… please… wake up." She said, having to force some strength into her weary voice. "You are having a nightmare, that is all. Can you hear me?."

The silence from him continued, eyelight still flaring with magic that had nowhere to go. It faintly stung her paw as it raced through his bones. His left hand that was gripping at the carpeted floor was ablaze as well, twitching occasionally as a particular violent surge of magic shot through him. His lack of a reaction made panic rise up in her throat again, but she remembered then what she'd done to snap him out of his trance the last time this had happened. She carefully reached out her other paw to rest against his cheekbone, encouraging him to look at her. After a few more tense moments, it seemed to work, as his flashing eyelight shifted a bit to lock on to her. She kept talking, encouraged by that small sign of improvement.

"There you go, look at me Sans." She said, raising her voice a little. "Focus on me… My voice… My face… I am right here…I am real... whatever you are seeing is not. You are okay dear, you are okay..."

The irony of her words burned a bit on her tongue, her own strange "dream" and it's possibly quite real implications making her statements seem a touch disingenuous. It mattered not for the moment though, all her thoughts were focused towards getting her dear skeleton back to himself again, and whatever would help accomplish that. She kept on talking to him and running her paw slowly back and forth over his side, sliding it carefully over every curve of his ribcage. She was fairly certain he wouldn't lash out at her again with how things were going, but she kept her guard up all the same, ready to defend herself if need be. She really didn't wish to get herself flung against something again, the bruise on her side she likely got from GB's method of waking her was more than enough for one night.

It went on that way for another minute or so before her efforts began to pay off. His grip on the carpet below him loosened, and his eyelight's intense glow lessened by degrees as he managed a few blinks up at her. As before, that proved to be a sign he was coming out of it, as his gaze focused on her more clearly. His heaving breaths began to calm as well, enough for him to attempt to speak. What he said though sent a harsh pang through her soul.

"toriel…" He choked out in a panicked tone, surprisingly her by using her full name again. "g-get out… the k-kid… the kid is..."

He curled in on himself slightly once more, squeezing his sockets shut. Or at least, squeezed them shut as long as he could before the magic surging in the left one forced it back open again with a spray of blue sparks.

"Shhh… easy dear, easy now…" She soothed, letting her voice drop back to its usual gentleness.

Now more confident that he wouldn't lash out at her, she carefully scooped him from the floor and cradled him in her arms, resting him in her lap so that he was looking up at her. He didn't fight her at all as she did so, body concerningly limp. She cupped the side of his skull in her paw again to try and keep his gaze directed at her.

"Look at me okay? Try to focus… breathe." She said, running her clawed thumb slowly over his cheekbone. "You are safe Sans, you are here with me in our home on the surface. Nothing has reset, Frisk has not done anything. It was only a nightmare. You are okay."

There was a comfort in her as she spoke those words, so very glad she could say the right things now. Sharing this burden was proving to be devastating beyond words for many reasons, but it meant she knew now what he needed to hear to recover from this. That made it more than worth it in her eyes. And indeed, her words furthered the calming of his soul.

As the moments ticked on, he kept his gaze glued to hers. He then turned a bit towards her and clutched at her robe with a hand, prompting her to pull him closer and gently nuzzle the top of his skull, letting her cheek remain resting against it for a bit. Another minute pass this way, His breathing slowed to a far more normal rhythm and his eyelight's fervor steadily petered out until it died altogether, leaving both sockets dark. The room went mostly dark along with it, the only light coming from the light in the bathroom she tended to leave on. The disappearance of his eyelight was the signal that seemed to let everyone in the room relax, including all the blasters, who began cautiously drifting towards them both again, eyelights glowing in the renewed darkness.

Even in the low light, she could make out sweat beading down Sans' skull as he was finally able to shut his eye sockets tight with a low moan. He pressed his face against her chest and drew a few more, deep shuddering breaths, seemingly trying to get himself to stop shaking as well. She gathered him in her arms into more of a proper embrace, giving him a few seconds more to collect himself before speaking again.

"Are you with me now dear?" She asked, feeling one of the GB's brush against her side with a purr. "How are you feeling?"

He drew in a wheezy breath through his teeth, tightening his grip on her with another particularly hard shudder before responding.

"y-yah… i… i'm…" His voice came out shaky and hoarse, trailing off at the end as if he didn't know how to answer.

Satisfied and relieved with the confirmation, she let him take as long as needed to figure it out.

"i'll... manage…" He said finally, still trembling harshly all over.

It wasn't the answer she would have preferred, but she accepted it, lapsing into silence again for a short while. During that time, she did what she could to help while he continued fighting the harsh tremors afflicting his body. It took some time, a clear sign of the severity of whatever horror his nightmare had subjected him to. The blasters gathered around them as this went on, pressing close to them and vibrating with their deep, reverberating purrs. It soothed her as well as him it seemed, for once they began with that, it was only a short time later when the soft rattling of his bones ceased.

Still, it also came with the realization that he'd summoned the blasters in his sleep, something that clearly did not sit well with him.

"goddamn it… tori… oh god… i d-didn't… i didn't fire one of them at you, did i?" He asked in a shaky tone, without pulling away.

Toriel shook her head, giving him a little squeeze.

"No dear, no, you did not." She assured him. "GB actually came to wake me when he saw what was happening, none of them did any damage. Do not worry."

She could detect the relief he felt from that statement ease some tension from him, and he let out a long sigh that was followed by a forced, humorless chuckle.

"heh… good… good…" He croaked, before going on in a slightly stronger voice. " i kn-knew training him to be more er… autonomous was a good idea… sp-specially after what happened with pap…"

She raised a brow a bit at that, and thought back to something he'd mentioned previously. As she did, one of the GB's slipped behind her back, letting her lean against him with an encouraging purr. She gave him a small, thankful smile before settling against him and turning back to Sans with another question.

"You fired a blaster at Papyrus before?" She asked softly, running a paw gently down his back. "Was that… when you decided to lock yourself up at night? When you… hurt him?"

A few moments passed before he slowly nodded, and one of the GB's let out a low, remorseful whine, like a dog who had been caught misbehaving. Sans trembled with another weak chuckle before speaking again, in a strained attempt at his usual casual tone, heedless of the heavy subject matter.

"it was a _bad time_ , that's for sure." He wheezed, something about the phrase seeming to bring him a dark amusement. "it wasn't really the blast itself that messed him up, it was the impact. he hit the wall so hard that he lost a good chunk of his HP and the back of his skull cracked. if it wasn't for that damn battle body of his, his ribs probably would have been busted up too… he… he looked at me then like he was s-scared for his life… heh…"

He trailed off then and she decided she should try and change the subject, he was already shaken up enough as it was, he didn't need to get worked up over all these past events too. She squeezed him tighter again before going on.

"Well… you did not hurt me, alright? And I do not think you need to fear something extreme like that happening again. Whatever you did with GB, it clearly helped. Your blasters only sought to help you once they were summoned, nothing more."

In response to hearing his name, all the GB's purred louder and some even pushed closer to nuzzle her. She offered them a smile in response but politely shushed them again until they lowered their voices to a soft rumbling once more. Sans gave little reaction to her words or anything else as she did so, but in the restored quiet she heard him groan softly again and press harder against her. The action reminded her of what had happened last time he'd woken up from a night terror like this, and concern flared up inside her.

"Sans, please be honest with me. How are you feeling? Are you… feeling sick at all?" She asked, speaking the last part a touch hesitantly.

There was a pause, then another quiet sigh, this one barely audible.

"i mean… yah, but… it's fine. it's not like… before. i'll be alright. i won't hurl on ya or anything, promise."

Despite it all, that somehow prompted a soft, somewhat exasperated laugh from her and she gave his back a sympathetic rub.

"That is not why I asked dear. It is not your fault you do not feel well. Building up waste magic like that is hell for anyone's soul. But, I do appreciate your consideration."

That last part was said a touch sarcastically through a weak, amused smile, and she was happy to hear him give a light chuckle in response as well, even if it was more out of awkwardness than anything. Though as silence stretched between them again after that, her smile slowly fell, lost to worry once more. His soul was flaring up noticeably with negative emotions again, spiking with fear and guilt among other things. She was about to say something on the matter, but to her surprise, it was him who broke the silence and addressed the elephant, or in this case, the giant floating skulls, in the room.

"this one was… bad tori…" He admitted, weakly. "i mean… they  _all_ suck don't get me wrong… but… i haven't… i haven't summoned GB out in my sleep in a long time… and not just that… it…"

He trailed off again shuddering anew, and Toriel resumed her practiced technique of rubbing small circles into his back, waiting patiently for him to speak again. The GB's shifted a bit around them, eyeing their wielder sadly.

"it was  _here_ tori. the kid was killing us  _here_ …" He choked out at last, curling his phalanges into her robes tightly. " it felt… so real. they came in here with the knife from the kitchen… all covered in dust. and they started stabbing y-you… you were screaming for them to stop... and i… i couldn't do anything… i couldn't  _move_. i tried… i tried to attack them or grab their soul but nothing happened… i guess gb got summoned out here but in the dream it… it wasn't working…"

His broken words made her feel as though her soul was being twisted inside her. Not only had his nightmare been so horrible, it had involved  _her_ directly _._ All this anguish he was feeling at the moment was due to watching her be killed right in front of him… She would say that she couldn't imagine what that felt like… But that would be a lie.

She remembered when she'd been afflicted with nightmares before insomnia largely took their place as her nightly torment. She remembered reliving the horrific moment where Asriel and Chara's fused form collapsed before her into dust, every time she tried to sleep. Not to mention the dreams where the children she had failed came back to haunt her, screaming for her to save them, and she never could. Nowadays, there had even been rare instances where she dreamed of losing Frisk the same way, watching them be killed or taken from her somehow in a way she could not stop, like every other child she'd ever cared for.

All of it brought tears to her eyes in the moment, and she formulated the words to console him as best she could. But he just went on talking, voice rising by degrees as he did.

"and look this shit is normal for me, i get it, i dream about frisk murdering everyone a lot… but it's… it's never been  _here_ though. it's always after a reset, were always in the underground. and it's… it's... never…  _you_."

With that, he fell quiet again, but his soul still churned violently. His trembling worsened as well and she was faintly surprised to feel tears beginning to drip onto her neck. But with how unstable he'd been for the past two days, the surprise lasted little more than a moment. She squeezed him tight, letting a few of her own tears spill from her eyes as well. The GBs whined quietly in response, and cuddled up closer to them.

"I am so sorry Sans…" She croaked, wishing endlessly she had something,  _anything_  better to say. "I am so sorry…"

He said nothing in response at first, remaining stiff and just silently weeping there in her arms. Something seemed to click in him then though. Perhaps he remembered the last time they'd been in a situation like this, and the words of reassurance she'd offered him then. Whatever the reason, it seemed to be more than just his instability that led him to let go of the tension in his body and choke out a few, quiet sobs against her. They were so soft that she hardly heard them, more felt them than anything. Of course, it didn't compare at all to his breakdown before, but still, the gravity of it was not lost on her.

He wasn't crying now because of long repressed emotions or old, unresolved traumas. He was letting himself cry over the fear and stress and everything else he was feeling right at this moment, instead of forcing it back to ravage him another day. Whether he knew it or not, that was quite a step forward for him. It seemed to her that, while it still was terribly difficult, he was starting to trust her with these displays of weakness, knowing now how she would react… and would help him recover from them.

It was seeing him succumb to tears again this way that brought back flashes of her "dream." Of her father holding the broken form of another skeleton in his arms. If that skeleton had indeed been Sans' father… well… it was painting a far clearer picture of the circumstances that brought about Sans and Papyrus' creation. Their father had lost everything to humanity, perhaps a sole survivor of an entire species. It was almost certain that his inordinate despair had given way eventually to a equally intemperate hatred and bloodlust. Those were the emotions behind the origins of the skeleton brothers she loved so dearly. And one of them had to remember it all.

Sans was a monster born from another's misery, a vessel for his father's desperate hatred and desire for revenge against humanity, and a failed one at that... And right now, it was hard not to feel that in full force.

But no, she wouldn't let those thoughts take root, not even for a moment. Sans was so,  _so_  much more than that. He was funny and kindhearted and so full of love for others. He was not a failure of any kind, and he certainly wasn't defined by any sort of hatred. Where he came from mattered not, he was his own monster and what he chose to do with his life was what would define him, even if this terrible curse from his father wanted so badly to be his only defining trait. He could move past this, he could heal. He deserved it. And she could help him do it. She had to believe that.

It was that resolve that drove her with a newfound energy to comfort him again, bringing stronger, more confident words to her lips.

"Sans dear, it is alright..." She soothed gently over his continued soft sobbing. "It was only a nightmare, a reflection of your fears. It is not our reality, not at all... I am just fine, and Frisk… they would not do that to me, or any of us. Not now… Not again. Remember that. It is going to be okay…"

She kept murmuring things of a similar caliber, content to keep it up as long as was necessary. As one might expect, he was able to regain control of his emotions far quicker than the last time. Still, even after he was reduced to nothing but quiet sniffling, she kept talking to him, saying the words that, in many respects were for both their benefit. Soon enough, she felt his soul calm again, the magic flowing from it far more steady and even. She wiped at her stinging eyes and drew in a deep, steadying breath. He certainly wasn't the only one crying more than usual lately.

"How about we go sit on the bed and we can... discuss this more if you wish, or whatever else you would prefer." She suggested quietly, glancing briefly at the still dark sky out the window. "I… doubt either of us will be sleeping anymore tonight."

Sans mirrored her a bit, taking a shaky breath. She could feel he wanted to apologize for what had just happened, as well as for waking her again. But he resisted, likely due to once again remembering her words on the subject, her assurance that such apologies were not needed. So instead he simply replied to her suggestion in a surprisingly stable voice.

"alright tori… you're… probably right…"

Needing no further agreement from him, she adjusted her hold on him and got to her feet. She set him down on the bed and turned on the bedside lamp, before moving to join him. She paused though, when they both noticed the four pairs of large eyelights looking up at them.

"oh… uh… right." Sans said, rubbing at his eye sockets wearily. "you guys should uh, probably go back to the pocket dimension… sorry for the… rude awakening…"

The GB's looked at him, then looked at eachother, then back to him. In unison they all shook back and forth in a "no" motion defiantly. Sans blinked at them and before he or Toriel could say anything else, all four quickly floated up and began inundating their wielder with nuzzles. The skeleton had little time to react, and the effects of the sudden flood of affection took effect quickly, in a way Toriel wasn't expecting. He started wheezing with laughter for quite an obvious reason as he fell onto his side while trying and failing to squirm away from the blasters. She had not been aware skeletons could be ticklish. It was a realization she was sure to... take note of.

"guys guys  _stop_." He managed between giggles, weakly pushing against their bony muzzles. "geez okay, I'm alright, i'm okay just-"

He attempts at speech were lost again to breathless chuckling. Toriel couldn't help but giggle at the sight too, covering her mouth with a paw as to not allow the sound to be too loud. Thank goodness Sans' laughter was as naturally soft as his voice, she wouldn't want to have to put a stop to this excuse to see him smile for any reason. After a few moments more the blasters finally spared him from their onslaught and retreated back a bit to let him breathe. He wheezed and shook with a few more giggles before he could speak again.

"y-you guys are the  _worst."_ He said through a light cough, pulling his hood over his skull. "i've told you a million times not to do that."

His tone betrayed the fact he was only teasing, but probably did feel a deal of legitimate embarrassment, especially with this happening on top of everything else. He purposely avoided her gaze as she tried to control her laughter for his sake.

"Oh Sans, they only wished to help you feel better. Do not be too hard on them." She said once she could manage it.

She earned a flat look from him for that, before he let his face fall against the bed with a grumble. It took a lot to hold back another snort of amusement. The GBs rumbled with a soft sound resembling laughter, looking quite pleased with themselves.

"I was not aware you were ticklish." She teased with a grin, going to sit on the bed beside him.

"don't get any ideas, old lady." Came his muffled reply, not lifting his skull from the blankets.

This time the snort did escape her along with a  few more giggles. Oh she did have ideas, but for another time. But he didn't need to know that right now.

"Very well, though I thought my jokes already tickled your  _funny bone_." She retorted, fangs flashing with a smile as she delivered the joke.

There was a pause, then he couldn't seem to help but snicker, prompting him to sit up again.

"alright… that was a good one." He relented, and she was deeply glad to see his true smile remaining on his face.

His expression shifted back to mild or perhaps feigned irritation as he looked back at his blasters. All four GB's gained sheepish looks on their faces, drifting downwards under his gaze.

"you all are  _definitely_  going to the pocket dimension now, this is a time out at this point. come here." He ordered, pointing at the spot on the bed in front of him.

All four let out soft, plaintive whines but slowly obeyed. Toriel couldn't help but feel bad for them and laid a paw gently on Sans' shoulder.

"Sans, why not let them stay, so long as they promise to behave themselves? They meant no harm and I think we could both use the company for the rest of the night."

The skeleton looked at her irritably, but when met with hers and all the blaster's entreating looks, he relented with a sigh.

"fine, but i'm shrinking all of you down, and if any of you pulls another stunt like that, it's straight to the pd, no questions."

The GB's all smiled brightly and two of them drifted other to Toriel to give her a thankful nuzzle. She gave them a few friendly pats in return, smile bright. Sans just grumbled again and laid his hand on the GB closest to him. A glow of blue magic enveloped the blaster and it shrunk down before her eyes. All the other GBs, linked it seemed, followed suit, until all of them were no bigger than hamsters.

"there, now no more, heh,  _funny_  business." He said, prompting the now tiny blasters to squeak in agreement.

All four followed as Sans and Toriel moved back to the head of the bed, slipping under the blankets again even though neither had any intention of sleeping. Toriel reached over to the side table where her phone was charging to check the time. 4:13 AM. She'd have to get up for work in less than three hours, great. She set the phone back down with a soft sigh, accepting the fact she'd just have to be exhausted through the oncoming school day. No getting around it now. At least she had gotten  _some_  sleep. She turned back to Sans and settled against the pillows beside him, working up a small smile.

She watched as two of the GBs settled into the soft material at the neck of Sans' hoodie, peeking out from within it in an endearing manner. The other two drifted over to Toriel and plopped down in the fur of her fluffy ears, purring up at her happily. This brought out another light giggle from her and she gave one of them a friendly tap with a claw.

"I always wondered what I would look like with earrings." She said, smiling as the tiny blaster leaned into her touch.

Sans managed a weary grin back at her, lightly petting one of the GB's on his hood with a phalange as well.

"well, i'm no fashion expert, obviously, but i think they'd make you look  _ear_ -resista-"

He cut himself off, eyelights shrinking and face flushing a light cyan color. Toriel blinked, eyes widening a bit as she realized what he'd almost said. Sweat dripped down his skull and his eyelights darted about frantically as he attempted to amend his joke.

"u-uh _…_ e-e-ear _… ear_...ie! y'know, eerie, like f-for... halloween? h-heh heh…"

That was perhaps one of the clumsiest rebounds she'd ever heard and she couldn't help but laugh again, having to cover her mouth hard this time to ensure she didn't burst into bleats of amusement. Even the blasters seemed to chuckle at his expense, but quickly clamped their jaws shut when he shot a glare their way. He tugged his hood over his skull again with a grumble. It made her feel a little bad, so she did her best to stop for his sake. She couldn't resist teasing him a little more though.

"Well... thank you Sans, I suppose." she said with a grin. "I will have to keep that in mind come October, so I can look extra scary with my eerie earrings."

His only response to that was a sound somewhere between a groan and a sigh, but then he let go of his hood and let most of his face show again. Though he tried to look indignant, she could see amusement shining in his eyelights. At that moment, she felt the urge once more to tell him of her feelings, but banished the notion just as quickly as it came.

Now was not the time. Not when they had so much,  _too much_  to talk about. So instead she simply offered her paw to him as she had many times. And just the same, he reached out to take it, gripping it tight in a grateful gesture and shifting a little closer in the same motion. The seriousness and somberness from before crept back into both of their souls and settled over them like a heavy shroud.

"Is there… anything else about your nightmare you wish to talk about?" She asked, stroking his hand with her thumb.

There was a pause, then he met her question with a slow shake of his head, still lightly stroking the little blaster with his free hand. His eyelights dimmed noticeably as he did so.

"nah…i told ya the… important bits. i'd rather not... think about it anymore right now…" He admitted, weak smile going stiff at the edges.

She hummed faintly in acknowledgement, accepting his answer without question.

"Very well, that is fine…do not worry about it then. I think… there is something that  _I_  should tell you though, dear."

Another pause, then he tilted his head a little at her response. A bit of a soft snicker escaped him. She blinked in surprise at that.

"you keep calling me that, is that a nickname you are  _fawn-_ ed of tori?" He asked, quirking a brow ridge.

She blinked again, mirroring the gesture a bit, but with confusion in her case. She didn't understand the joke.

"Hm? What do you mean?" 

His grin widened a bit more, but his eyelights avoided her gaze in a bit of an anxious gesture.

"y'know… deer… faun. heh, my material is off tonight i know." He said with a bit of a forced chuckle.

It took a second for what he was referencing to sink in, but when it did, she felt her face begin to burn slightly. Oh stars, she  _had_  been calling him that hadn't she? Ever since… Oh how embarrassing… She covered her mouth briefly with her free paw.

"Oh… Sans I am sorry… I was not aware that I was… I sincerely apologize if I have made you uncomfortable."

Sans shook his head quickly in response, waving his free hand in a placating gesture as well.

"no no, it's fine tori, really. i don't uh… i don't  _mind_  or anything heh heh… it's kinda… nice actually…"

He trailed off briefly, cheekbones flushing a light blue once more. The GBs all chattered with faint laughter again and Toriel just stared back at him. Before any potential implications about what he'd said could sink in, he abruptly went on in a stronger tone.

"a-anyway, you uh, you have something to tell me? w-what's up? you have another… "dream"?"

As he probably wished, the question banished any lingering flustered feelings, flooding her thoughts with images from her dream once more. Her scarlet eyes became a touch hazy as she nodded.

"Yes, I feel that it may have been another... memory of some sort. Though it was...strange."

With that, she had his full attention and she recounted to him the events that had unfolded in her dream. She tried to include all the details she could, anything that might seem relevant. There was a chance Sans may grasp something she'd missed with all his knowledge on the subject of timelines and altered memories, so she spared no expense. The only parts she left out were her more… personal reactions to seeing her parents in the dream again, especially with regards to her mother…

All the time she talked, he listened intently, eyelights tiny and wavering from the shock of it all. Though she knew the knowledge regarding his father may hurt him in some way, she also felt he had a right to know. He confirmed to her that yes, this Wingdings skeleton had certainly been his father. Other than that though, he said nothing, just staying silent until she was finished.

"hoo boy… okay…" He wheezed out after she had said everything, gripping at her paw tighter with a suddenly shaky hand.

He tapped a phalange against his skull, and she could practically see the wave of thoughts surging through him.

"I mean… geez… i knew ol g was the last of the skeletons… and that the humans killed his family in the war… he told me as much to "motivate" me on occasion but…"

A bitter mix of emotions made his eyelights waver and his jaw worked a bit before he continued.

"damn… i guess he really was artificially extending his life all those years… he really was alive… back at the beginning of all this… he probably wanted more than anything to live to see his revenge be carried out…"

That made her blink a bit in surprise, realizing she had not thought of that. Skeletons were not nearly as long lived as boss monsters or even elementals like Grillby. Gaster should have been long dead at the time Sans and Papyrus came into the picture... What had he done to his soul in order to extend his life back then? Just how desperate and deranged had the old royal scientist been at the end? The thought made her shudder. It also brought to mind the things her child had told her about the "strange monster" they'd met in the Underground. As much as she wished to mention it to him, she let it be for now, deciding theorizing over such uncertain things could wait.

"and you and asgore knew him… from back then even… explains why he was always gushing about the king i guess… heh..."

With that, his eyelights flickered, nearly going out for a moment. She gave his hand a little squeeze, concern welling up in her.

"Are you alright?" She asked, quietly.

He seemed to shake himself from his musing, before giving her a small nod.

"yah… none of this is really new or anything… just puts things more in perspective i guess… it does help my theory on what's goin' on with you though."

Her ears perked up slightly at that, and even the tiny blasters all glued their attention on Sans. Meeting her gaze, his expression sobered up again. Even beyond the lingering darker emotions in the lights of his eyes, there was that same spark of energy there, the spark that often appeared when he was discussing things of a scientific nature.

"I think… now that you know the truth about all this, you're… regaining your lost memories. the memories you lost to the resets… or to ol g getting wiped from existence. i could never figure it out before, why everyone still seemed to experience deja vu between timelines when their memories were supposedly wiped. but i get it now, you all don't really lose your memories… they just get locked away somehow. and learning the truth can trigger these memories to begin returning…"

There was a touch of hesitant hopefulness to his tone, and his eyelights brightened a bit as he went on.

"this has never happened before tori… and i think it's happening with you because… you're the first person to actually  _believe_  me."

That made her blink in surprise. In all those timelines… no one else had ever believed him? That brought a harsh pang to her soul for his sake, but she did her best to ignore it and kept listening.

"i tried to tell pap a lot early on and he really did try to understand and was always willing to listen, but i think deep down he thought i was just... y'know…. not of sound mind, driven a bit off the edge from all the nightmares. so it never happened with him. and the only other person i told was grillby, but that was more of a drunken ramble than anything else… so he obviously didn't believe it."

He paused, eyelights dulling a bit and displaying an old sadness there before he willed it away. Toriel worried her lips with her fangs slightly before ending her silence with a question of her own.

"Why only in dreams though?" She asked. 

He shrugged his shoulders a bit in response.

"i don't know for sure but… it's probably a similar reason as to why i have to deal with all the shit that i'm trying to forget when i fall asleep. i guess without the distractions of everything else that's there when we are awake, those things aren't... held back anymore."

His words reignited her unease a bit, wondering just how long she'd have to be subjected to these nightly visions… would it last until every last one of her lost memories returned? Stars, that could take a millennia… Or would they eventually lead to a moment where it all came back to her at once? What would that do to her mind…? If Sans' case was any indication… not anything good.

Sans seemed to notice her shift in emotions, averting his gaze from her again. She could feel familiarly harsh guilt begin to flow from his soul, the affected magic meeting her own with a slight chill.

"geez… i'm sorry tori… i-i hope i didn't come off as like… insensitive there. i know that this whole thing has been pretty awful for you… and i'm... really sorry that i was part of causing it." He apologized, voice losing any of that energy that had been present before.

Hearing that dreaded despair return to him banished her own worries for the moment, overpowered by her nurturing instincts. She softened her expression and gave his hand another reassuring squeeze, moving to cover it with her other paw as well.

"Worry not Sans. I understand." She assured him. "I vowed I would go through with helping you with this no matter what, and I intend to honor that. I have been through far, far worse, I will get through this just fine. Plus… I feel that I would much rather know these painful forgotten truths rather than continue to live in ignorance."

Silence met her words, and he only replied with a small nod. The guilt that was there did not recede by much, but she would have to take what she could get at this point. He remained quiet a bit longer, eye sockets nearly falling shut. The GB's all drifted off to sleep in unison during this time, their soft, squeaky snores the only sound that found her ears for a while. She thought perhaps Sans would follow suit, as utterly exhausted as he clearly was. But then he abruptly spoke again, though kept his voice low.

"tori… did i say anything… weird before i fell asleep earlier?"

It caught her off guard a little, as she had slipped into a sort of half dozing herself. She blinked the drowsiness from her eyes and met his gaze again, thinking back on it and recalling that odd statement he'd made that had kept her up all those hours.

"Well… yes, you did say something." She replied, before clearing her throat slightly when she found her voice a bit hoarse. "You said… I had always been a good roommate… or "roomie" as you put it…"

The reaction from the skeleton was a flash of sorrow in his faint eyelights, but he said nothing. Even though the sight cut deep into her soul, she pressed on with another question, too perturbed by the statement to let it go so easily.

"What did you mean by that, dear?" She asked softly, silently willing him to meet her eyes.

He conceded with her wordless request, the lights of his eyes focusing on her with a hint of reluctance.

"sorry, i… i shouldn't have said that…" He said, a touch defensively. "i was… thinking about another timeline… one where you and i, well… i lived with you in the ruins for a while."

That was enough to perk her back up to full attentiveness, trying to imagine how something like that could have possibly come about. He noticed her questioning look though and answered before she asked anything.

"It's... kinda a long story…" He rasped, weariness even more prominent than usual in his voice. "but basically… the kid… they seemed to be going through a normal run, everything was fine… until…"

He trailed off, and that feeling of guilt intensified noticeably, but he forced himself to keep talking regardless.

"it was… an accident, i guess. at least, i don't think they meant for what happened… to happen. that time at least. they collapsed afterwards and… bawled their eyes out…"

He shuddered and Toriel had the urge to tell him he didn't have to go on with this, but her only burning curiosity kept her mouth shut. Eventually the words he'd been holding back escaped him.

"they killed papyrus…"

Her soul sunk within her. She had… guessed that had happened before, as she guessed most of them at some point had ended up victims to her child's past… misdeeds. But it still chilled her, and she squeezed his hand tighter out of intense sympathy. No words escaped her though, feeling as though she should not interrupt him.

"after that… well, a  _lot_  happened… the kid eventually went on as usual, spared everyone else… but asgore still bit the dust at the end of it…though how exactly it happened that time was… debatable. and the kid… disappeared. then you came back, took the throne again, tried to enact policies that would ensure that no more humans would die… but… it didn't go over too well…"

Toriel blinked, trying to digest all of this. That… did sound like something she would do, but it still felt so strange to have it told to her second hand. And what did he mean with that comment about Asgore? As before though, she quieted her fretting thoughts and forced herself to pay attention, fully engrossed at this point.

"undyne especially was well... pissed heh. since she and pap were… are… so close and all. she and a bunch of others kinda kicked you out and banished you to the ruins again. you went peacefully though… and afterwards i eventually decided to join you… if you would have me, of course."

His eyelights dulled further like dying candle flames, and she could see some part of him was regretting telling her this at all. Still, he proceeded.

"i... i had nowhere else to go… nothing to do… not without him. i didn't really want to wait in that empty house for the next reset. plus, i felt pretty bad about what happened to you… and i figured you might want some company and... some new books to read. so i went to the door, and this time… you let me in. i lived there with you for a few months while the kid was… i dunno… lost i guess. until the world inevitably reset again. and you definitely were a good roomie during all that time… heh… we had fun."

Those last words carried the faintest spark of warmth, but it was mostly lost to the fatigue in his voice. He seemed utterly drained when he finally stopped talking, as if putting those events into words sapped his vitality straight from his soul. Toriel took some time to process what he'd said, letting it all sort itself out through her mind. Her soul ached terribly for him, as it had so many times since he first began to open up to her. The implied grief and sorrow behind this timeline was obvious. It begged the question of what happened between them during those months… What would she do in... no… what  _had_  she done in a situation like that? It was unnerving to be unsure of the answer. Perhaps some memory of that lost timeline would give it to her, in one of these odd dreams she was now prone to.

It was some time before she found the will to reply, and as she did, she moved forward to pull him into a hug, careful to avoid disturbing the sleeping blasters as she did so. He allowed it, but did reciprocate immediately. She spoke anyway.

"Sans, I am so very sorry… You... did not deserve to endure any of that." She began as she, regrettably, always did. "I… hope I was able to provide some comfort to you during that time. I am sure I was incredibly grateful for your company…"

She trailed off, truly not knowing what to say and hoping her intentions were communicated better through her actions and the magic shared from her soul. Sans kept his silence though, and eventually it led to a question bubbling up in her throat.

"What brought this on?... Why tell me all this?" She asked, quietly.

It was a question that had been burning in her mind since he recounted the tale to her. She understood his need to talk about the darker timelines he'd endured in more detail, the ones where most of his traumas were born from. But in comparison to say, the one where'd he'd received that horrible scar… the one where everyone had been  _killed_ , this one seemed an odd choice for him to start with. The question hung over the two for a few moments, before he finally returned her hug and managed a weary reply.

"because all i did in that timeline was lie to you, about everything." He said, voice dull. "i think… that's part of why i agreed to any of this… i know it's kind of too little too late but… i don't want to lie to you anymore tori…"

It was an admission and sentiment that brought her pain and warmth all at once. She squeezed him a little tighter, feeling both their souls' magic respond in turn. She eased her eyes shut as she spoke again.

"I am deeply grateful for that Sans..." She murmured. "I thank you for your trust in all this… and I hope that being honest with me has proven to have been for the better… Or at least will in time."

Sans grip on her slowly tightened in response, and his voice was far more close to his usual lightheartedness when he spoke again.

"it already has…"

Somehow, both of them managed to drift off again after that, finally experiencing some level of peaceful sleep while it lasted.

A few hours later, she inevitably had to get up to get ready for the oncoming school day and make breakfast for her child before they woke. Papyrus had no doubt already left for the school, always priding himself with arriving early for his duties and being the one to unlock the doors every morning. Sans had told her that he had convinced him, with some effort, not to skip work to look after his "sick" brother, ensuring him he'd call if he needed anything. It meant that Sans could remain here in her bed to rest without any worry of potentially unwanted questions or suspicions, an ideal scenario in her eyes.

Though, it was more difficult than she thought to force herself out of her warm bed, and even more so to disentangle herself from the sleeping skeleton beside her. She had learned quickly that he had a habit of occasionally clinging to things in his sleep, whether that be a pillow, a ball of rolled up sheets, or in this case, her. With care though, she was able to leave his side without disturbing him and tucked him back under the blankets by instinct. She had gathered all the tiny GBs as well and laid them around him, able to keep from waking them just the same.

It was then, perhaps also by some sort of instinct, that she paused before she turned to leave. It summoned up in her an urge that perhaps she was just too tired to properly banish before she acted upon it. For without really thinking about it, she leaned down and lightly kissed his skull in farewell. The action felt so right, that she didn't mind the voice in her head that inevitably screamed at her as always for her selfishness. And it may have just been her imagination, but she swore she saw the edges of his mouth turn up slightly and soften in his sleep in response. Her soul felt aglow with warmth in that moment, despite all the exhaustion weighing down on her.

"Sleep well dear…" She said softly to him, just above a whisper.

Only then did she turn to leave, taking a deep breath to begin preparing herself for the day ahead. She was going to need a lot of determination indeed to get through it… and a whole lot of coffee.


	15. Steps

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back with your regularly scheduled angsty Soriel fic, this time with more school, world building exposition and a whole lot of Dreemurr convos. Hope you enjoy~ ^^ 
> 
> (Warnings for this chapter: Flowey being a shit (aka mentions of violence, death etc) )

Toriel felt some level of rejuvenation when she stepped out of the family van and looked up at the grand sight of Newer Home's School for Humans and Monsters. It was her pride and joy, the result of everything she'd fought tooth and claw for those first few months after arriving on the surface. Though the land Newer Home had been built on, and was still being built on in some places, was given over to the monsters through an early agreement, legal and political turmoil halted a lot of process for certain projects. This school being one of them.

Darkly, she thought back on that vile group of human women who worked for the local government, the ones who seemed so keen on trying to uproot everything she'd built for herself. Remembering their words always brought sparks of anger to the back of her throat. The way they'd tried to say a monster like her could never raise a human child, the way they had tried to find Frisk's previous abusive family with no regard to her child's feelings. All of that had, thankfully, been shot down pretty quick, especially with Frisk's pull with their role as ambassador.

But even then, they hadn't stopped with antagonizing her, going after her plans to build this school and plan others for the newly freed monster kingdom. They especially hated that she had, of course, applied to teach human children as well as monsters. She remembered well how they had embarrassed themselves and everyone around them attempting to shout her down at a meeting on the subject, citing how one of the "devil's creatures" would only corrupt children's minds. It certainly brought to light, in her eyes, how poorly humans and religion often seemed to mix. That much had not changed very much from the old days, unfortunately.

Getting this place approved and built in spite of their efforts felt like a victory in more ways than one, and she took immense satisfaction in seeing their enraged reactions to the news. It turned out that a great deal of humans found them just as ridiculous as she did, and had even offered her their help in reaction to all the hostility she had faced. It had been a wonderfully touching experience and she had gained some of her first adult human friends out of the otherwise messy affair. Those women had mostly left her alone after that, and it was hard not to feel just a little smug about the whole thing. It stirred her soul with a warm sense of pride as she began the walk up the path towards the building, holding Frisk's small hand in her paw all the while.

The child let out a soft yawn, blinking lingering sleepiness out of their eyes and holding Flowey's pot close with their free arm. Being the teacher's kid meant they had to arrive early when she did around 9AM. It didn't seem to bother them though, and their smile returned quickly to their face as they looked up at her. Compared to most human children they probably were better rested than others getting up for school on this lovely Monday morning. Toriel had been more than a little critical of the human standards for educational facilities, including the start time.

8AM? Surely that was far too early. Children needed their sleep for their minds to develop after all. To her, 10AM was a much better alternative, and led to everyone feeling much better about attending class each day. That among other things she had changed to better suit her standards, and based on what she'd seen during the months the school had been in operation, she'd say it was a success.

But no matter how late the school day started, it would have no effect on the exhaustion weighing on her soul at the moment. She was oh so tired… as she knew she would be. But hell, was it ever a struggle to deal with in the moment. It took a lot to keep up her usual bright smile as she walked towards the building. She paused briefly when she spotted someone among the hedges of the front lawn, someone she  _really_  didn't want to see at the moment.

Asgore glanced at her over his shoulder, pausing in his trimming of the large topiary shaped like Papyrus' face. The flash of pain in his eyes was impossible to miss, and he lowered his garden shears and turned towards her. Toriel felt a faint chill run down her spine, smile withering as her grip on Frisk's hand unknowingly tightened slightly. The two boss monsters just stared at each other for a another moment, the uneasy emotions in both their eyes seemingly taken in by the other. Then Asgore forced a sad smile and gave her a small, polite inclination of his head before waving to Frisk beside her. She looked away, guilt pricking at her soul.

" _I cannot do this right now… I am not ready to face him again after all that…_ " She thought miserably, the beginnings of a headache blooming at the crown of her head.

But then, she noticed Flowey looking up at her with an… odd expression. He looked angry. Not grumpy or moody like he usually did but legitimately  _angry,_ eyes dark and fangs flashing in what was almost a snarl. It was strange, but not wholly unusual. He often seemed to get heated when the subject of her and Asgore's strained relationship was brought up, but usually he masked this with cruel snide comments and embittered sarcasm, always with cruel grin on his face. Why he cared so much once again left her deeply confused, but seeing that anger from him gave her a spark of… something. And it drove away the whisperings of her insecurities for the moment.

No, she needed to at least try to apologize for what had happened, she'd ignored the issue long enough. Perhaps that what Flowey's dark look was about, as disgusted with her cowardice as she herself was. She made brief eye contact with the flower monster before taking a deep breath and turning to face her ex-husband again. He, Frisk and Asgore all seemed quite surprised when gently released her child's hand and began marching over to him, expression flat and stiff.

"Wait here a moment, my child… I need to take care of something." She said over her shoulder to Frisk, who gave a small, still slightly stunned nod.

She stopped a few feet from the King of monsters, swallowing against the rising unease in her throat before speaking.

"G-good morning… Asgore…" She said, voice dull.

He blinked at her in faint shock, bi-colored eyes wide.

"G-good morning!" He managed to reply in turn, smile becoming far more legitimate. He paused, clearly still working through the surprise of the moment. "Um… l-lovely day… isn't it?"

She still struggled to keep eye contact with the other boss monster, mind wanting desperately to plunge into her usual dark thoughts regarding him, but she stayed the course. She cleared her throat and adjusted her reading glasses before replying.

"Yes, it is…" She agreed, still in a subdued voice. "But that is not why I wished to speak to you…"

After a pause, he lowered the shears more, letting the tips poke into the grass in front of him and resting his paws on top of the handles. A soft morning wind tousled his flower patterned shirt and blew some leaf clippings into his beard and mane. In the old days, she would have found that endearing. Now, it just made her feel all the more guilty for being so uncomfortable around him.

"I… I wished to properly apologize for what transpired this weekend... " She said, going on in a stronger voice before he could say anything. "I have not been in… the best state of mind lately and I fear that on top of everything else led me to reacting the way I did. And I should not have… treated you the way I did afterwards... "

There was a pause and he just stared, mouth opening and moving slightly as though he wished to say something but just not finding the words. She shot a nervous glance back at Frisk and Flowey, who were watching her from the path. Frisk's expression was pleasantly neutral as usual, with a spark of more visible happiness in their eyes. Flowey still looked surprised though, watching with a far more genuine expression of interest than she expected. She drew another deep breath and went on in a quieter voice, ensuring the children did not hear her.

"I am not... "well" Asgore…" She admitted, and the words burned on her tongue. "I still have yet to heal in regards to what happened between us… and what happened to the-"

She cut herself off, closing her eyes briefly as she curled her paws into fists and then uncurled them again.

" _No, don't talk about that, don't think about it. Just say what you came to say be done with it_." Her mind ordered her, and she reluctantly obeyed, releasing the sudden tension in her body through a sigh.

"I just hope that… my behavior has not made your attempts at making a better life for yourself more… difficult." She went on, in a steadier voice. "I… I know that you have been taking strides towards that... I just fear that I am…"

Again, her words died in her mouth and her confidence in all this seemed to drain from her. Admitting this to him of all monsters was hard enough as it was, going further into detail seemed to be too much for her at the moment. Asgore seemed to perceive this, and got the chance to speak at last, his expression softening

"I understand." he assured her, eyes warm. "Do not worry about any of that. All you've said… it… it means a lot to me."

He paused briefly to wipe at his orange eye with a paw, and only just now did she noticed there were tears there. It brought more cold, painful emotions to her soul, but she willed herself not to let them show on her face. His expression sobered up a bit as he went on.

"I know I hurt you far too deeply back then for things to ever be fully okay between us again... and I don't expect you to forgive me Toriel, for any of it. You and I will never be able to regain what we had before… and I agree that it is best for us both to move on. But… I do hope in time that we can at least try to be friends again… when you uh… get to feeling better, of course."

She blinked in response to his words, letting them sink in for a moment. None of what he said was truly new, he'd either expressed these sentiments before or she'd picked up on them from the hints that were difficult to miss. But hearing it all like this, well… it did lift a bit of weight off her soul, though it also reignited her guilt despite his reassurance. Her expression remained stiff and she eventually averted her eyes, feeling as though all the moisture in her mouth had dried up. Her unease didn't seem to phase Asgore though, he just went on in a gentler tone.

"I know you are still not ready to talk about everything that happened… and that is fine Toriel." He said, regret creeping at the edges of his voice. "Take all the time you need. I will always be here if you do feel up to it… Just like I said in the note that I left you."

Her mind flashed back to that note, all it's remorse, all the apologizing it contained, and again felt more guilt flood through her. But she eventually managed a nod in response, eyes even brightening a bit.

"Alright…" She replied, quietly. "I will… keep that in mind… and I appreciate your understanding in all this."

He shot her another warm smile and picked up his shears again.

"Of course, have a good day Toriel, and best of luck with your lessons for today." He said, now seeming to radiate happiness as he turned back to the hedge sculpture and began clipping away again.

She remained in place for a moment, wondering if he was really done talking. Her mouth opened to say something else, but no words came and she shut it again. Finally she turned away, thoughts spinning around in her head like water flowing down a drain.

That was perhaps the first real successful conversation she'd had with him in stars knows how long. It felt… well, she wouldn't say it felt good per say, but she supposed that it did make her feel a little better. Though if she was tired before, oh stars was she exhausted now. As usual, speaking to her ex-husband was terribly mentally draining. She felt so weary in that moment that she hardly even bothered to put on a smile for Frisk and Flowey as she trudged back over to them, rubbing at the side of her head with a paw.

She stopped at Frisk's side and was about to say something to them, but paused when she suddenly felt two arms, and the edge of a pot, wrap as much as they could around her legs. Looking down, she found her child attempting to give her a hug, pressing against her and gripping on to her dress lightly. She knelt down to their level at once, fearing for a moment they were upset about something. Frisk pulled back a bit though and their usual small smile was in place. They lifted their free hand to sign to her as best they could with one hand, while Flowey seemed to be actively avoiding her gaze.

(You looked like you needed a hug.) They said, brown eyes soft.

Toriel blinked, then her expression shifted into one far closer to her usual maternal warmth. She pulled them back into her arms, nuzzling their cheek and feeling her soul thrum with happiness as they giggled in response.

"I did." She said, voice strong again. "Thank you, my child."

Even now, with everything she now knew about them, all she knew they'd done, her soul still felt warm with love inside her as she held them close. Did that make her a hypocrite? If it did, she was too tired to dwell on it further. She just relished in the embrace and the emotions flowing from their powerful soul.

"Ugghhh…. alright, enough already. Can't you leave me out of this?!" Flowey spat, somewhat crushed between them because of the hug.

Both she and Frisk gave another soft laugh at that. She gave the two children one last thankful squeeze before all three of them headed for the school's grand set of doors. Papyrus was there to meet them in the main hallway as they stepped inside, pausing in his straightening of some billboard decorations as he noticed them.

"GOOD MORNING MS. TORIEL! FRISK! FLOWEY! ARE YOU READY FOR ANOTHER SPECTACULAR DAY OF ENLIGHTENING AND INSPIRING THE YOUNG MINDS OF THE NEXT GENERATION?" The skeleton asked, beaming brightly.

His energy and enthusiasm only served to highlight how tired she felt, but she forced up her best smile regardless.

"Good morning to you too Papyrus, and of course." She replied, whilst Frisk gave a thumbs up and Flowey rolled his eyes with a groan.

Papyrus clapped his hands together and straightened up with an even wider smile.

"EXCELLENT! I HAVE ALREADY UPDATED THE CALENDARS, HALL POSTERS AND OTHER ACCESSORIES TO LIVEN UP THE LEARNING ENVIRONMENT AND I HAVE PREPARED MY PERSONAL OFFICE SPACE FOR MY SCHEDULED MEETINGS TODAY! IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE YOU WOULD LIKE ME TO DO BEFORE THE CHILDREN GET HERE, MS. TORIEL?" He asked, positively brimming with eagerness.

The rush of words hit her like a freight train, but she steadied herself again with some effort. Sometimes that skeleton's way of speaking was really difficult for her to keep up with, not helped by her current condition. She managed to keep her smile in place though, more than happy to encourage her favorite "assistant".

His help was always appreciated and he had many roles in the school beyond assisting her too. He was the unofficial mascot, as proclaimed by himself at least, as well as the school's guidance counselor, helping troubled or wayward students with their problems and giving them the encouragement they needed. Indeed, it was hard for anyone not to feel motivated and cared for after a impassioned speech from the exuberant skeleton. He was truly great with the kids, and she was so very grateful for all the work he did.

"No Papyrus, you have done wonderfully as always, thank you. Feel free to take a break before going out to greet the children as they come in. I will join you shortly." She said, even knowing full well what his answer would be.

Before he said anything though, she released Frisk's hand and told them to go ahead into the room to wait for her, perhaps play a game on one of the computers. They nodded and happily hurried off, holding Flowey's pot close all the while. As they rounded the corner ahead, Papyrus' bombastic voice drew her attention back to him.

"A BREAK? NONSENSE, I WILL SIMPLY GO ASSIST ASGORE UNTIL THEN. I AM SURE HAVING THE WONDERFUL VISAGE OF THE GREAT PAPYRUS TO MARVEL AT IN PERSON WILL CERTAINLY HELP HIM CAPTURE MY ESSENCE IN FULL." He said, gesturing to himself dramatically.

She gave a light chuckle in response, the laugh helping to ease the still lingering tension in her soul a bit.

"Very well then, see you in a few minutes." She replied, moving to begin down the hall.

Though when Papyrus didn't move himself or reply further, she paused, glancing back at him in mild confusion. He noticed and his smile weakened a bit as a far more uncertain expression crossed his features.

"UM… WAS SANS… UP WHEN YOU LEFT? DID YOU MANAGE TO SEE IF HE IS DOING ANY BETTER TODAY?" He asked, rubbing his gloved hands together nervously.

That spark of guilt shot through her soul again, hating the fact that she had to lie to him. Her thoughts raced for a moment to find the right words, and she tried not to sound as uneasy as she felt.

"No, I am sorry, he was still asleep. I could hear the snoring coming from his room. The door was still uh… locked. But I am sure he will be fine, my friend. He needs the rest more than anything right now. I will call him during my lunch break and make sure he is doing okay. Try not to worry."

The lie made something akin to heartburn flare up in her chest as it left her, but she managed to keep her smile in place regardless. Papyrus blinked at her, expression saddening until he let out a sigh.

"OF COURSE, HE  _ALWAYS_  LOCKS HIS DOOR. EVEN WHEN HE'S HAVING THOSE AWFUL NIGHTMARES. EVEN WHEN HE'S SICK AND INJURED LIKE THIS…" The skeleton made a small sound laced with anxiety and frustration. "I DON'T KNOW IF I SHOULD HAVE LEFT HIM ALONE MS. TORIEL...  _AGAIN…_ HE TOLD ME HE'D BE FINE BUT HE ALWAYS  _ALWAYS_  SAYS THAT. HE'S STILL SO…"

He cut himself off, then blushed a bit and grimaced as if realizing how much he was talking. Rapidly, he forced up a nervous grin.

"EH, SORRY! UH, NEVERMIND ALL THAT!" He sputtered, waving his hands in a dismissive manner. "I'M OFF TO GO BE A FANTASTIC MODEL! NYEH HEH HEH! HEH… HEH…"

With that, he rushed for the door before she could say anything more, leaving her there with her mouth hanging open slightly. As the door shut with a resounding echo against the brick walls, it felt as though the sound waves also penetrated her soul with a spike of pain. Oh how she hated to lie to him, especially with just how worried for his brother he was. He didn't deserve all this manipulation and deception…

But there was nothing she could do for it. She just couldn't tell him the truth, no matter how much she wished to. Her lips were bound by her promise, and by an instinctual desire to protect her friend from all the devastating truths she now carried. Truths that, from what Sans had told her, he would be unlikely to believe anyway. So with a soft, weary sigh, she turned to walk down the hall towards the school's main classroom.

As she did, she passed by Papyrus' small office, seeing through the window that it was, as expected, carefully decorated and cleaned thoroughly. Seeing the pride he took in his duties usually warmed her soul, but today it could only manage to bring a lump to her throat. Beyond the tepid thoughts though, it reminded her that the rest of the school's staff would be arriving shortly and that she should get ready before they did.

Papyrus wasn't the only one she had more or less employed at her school over time. Indeed, the whole thing had become quite the family affair.

Asgore of course came as often as he could to serve as groundskeeper in his free time, keeping the school's decorative and educational gardens well cared for. She had done her best to hide her discomfort with the idea back then. She couldn't very well bar him from being part of it all though, that would be far too mean-spirited, even given their history. And she had to admit, he did the job better than anyone else, ever the fantastic green thumb.

Undyne worked as a gym teacher, and a dearly beloved one at that. Toriel wasn't too fond of the way she'd "bench-press" the children as an activity, but with time she'd accepted the fish monster's methods as the children did seem to enjoy them. Her creativity with the different ways to make exercise fun for the students was quite admirable. Plus it gave her a more constructive and less… violent outlet for her energy and physical skills than she'd had while in the royal guard.

Alphys had chosen to utilize her knowledge and skills in a new way, serving as the school's nurse while also occasionally speaking to the class on science and technology related subjects. She was still quite nervous and unsure of herself when presenting, but was steadily growing more confident in that regard. Toriel was glad the former royal scientist had accepted the offer, as she felt it was in some way an act of repentance for firing her from her old position before.

Mettaton occasionally stopped by when he was in town from his touring and talked to the children about drama and theater, as well as hosted a newly established annual talent show. Those were days no student dared to miss. And while the actual value of his lessons was… questionable, given he that usually ended up talking about himself more than anything else, the children still enjoyed his visits immensely.

And then there was Sans of course. On days he wasn't "sick" like today, he worked here as well. And just like when he lived Underground, he didn't have any set job. Rather, he did various little things around the building from managing the school's paperwork, to maintenance and janitorial work, and even worked in the school's cafeteria sometimes. He was also quite the beloved substitute teacher on occasion, but mostly because he always brought in movies and such for the students to watch on the days he covered for her. Getting him to actually teach a full lesson still seemed off the table for now though, as he had casually dismissed the idea whenever she brought it up.

And of course, he often punctuated all his duties with the occasional nap. Finding him asleep standing up, leaning against the vacuum or a mop, still ever smiling was always especially funny to her. She probably should be a bit more disgruntled about all his sleeping on the job, but the work always got done, so she couldn't really complain. Though admittedly, she probably did have a tendency to be a  _bit_  too soft on him at times…

Of course, everyone had their own ambitions and hobbies outside the school walls, and this setup they had now likely would prove to be temporary in the long term as some eventually left to pursue further passions and opportunities now open to them on the surface. But for now, it was so very nice having the extended family all work together like this, uniting and bonding through the experience more than ever.

Apart from them, she had hired various other monsters and a select few brave humans to ensure everything ran smoothly, so the school was soon to be abustle with various staff. As their semi-leader in all this, she needed to push through her exhaustion and ensured this school week started off right. With that in mind, she steeled herself and hurried off to the main classroom to ensure all was ready before she joined Papyrus outside.

Greeting the students at the start of every school day was always such a joy to Toriel, no matter how worn down she was. They came up the path sometimes one by one or in groups, in every shape, color and size. She was sure to give a pleasant welcome to each and every one. Some of the more reserved children simply returned her greeting or just nodded politely in response. While others were far more excited to offer a "Good morning Ms. Toriel!" as they arrived. Some even came up to hug her, Papyrus, or both before heading inside. She had made an effort to get to know each and every one of her students, and by now knew all their names and at least a few key things about them. All the greetings this morning were full of warmth and familiarity, and they helped calm the still unsettled magic of her soul.

One group of children in particular brought an especially warm smile to her face as she watched them approach. Three human children, twin brother and sister, and another younger girl came up the path, joined by Kid who chatted up a storm beside them. The twins were dark skinned, had lovely curly black hair and soft brown eyes. The boy was named Devon and the girl Kayla, and though they were twins, they had seemingly opposite personalities. Kayla was a stoic and level headed bookworm while her brother was quite the excitable and adventurous social butterfly. Both had been quite the talk of the school when they'd first arrived, being the only humans besides Frisk to attend at the time. Though now their "otherness" was hardly ever mentioned anymore, fully accepted by their monster peers.

Their parents were some of the first humans to move into Newer Home, a pair of two moms who apparently made the move along with their adopted children to "make a statement." They were quite nice people, if a bit too boisterous and loud at times, and their values concerning peace between humans and monsters as well as adoption made Toriel feel a good connection with them. While the other human girl, a very pale and somewhat sickly child named Ana, Toriel had never met her parents. In fact, the shy human girl was perhaps the student she knew the least about, due to her later arrival and reluctance to speak in class. She had joined mid-year, leaving her not only the new kid, but a new human student as well. The stress of that clearly weighed on her and Toriel made an extra effort to make the nervous child feel accepted however she could each day.

She shot Ana a warm smile with that in mind as she and the others in the group approached. The child met her with a weak smile of her own, though she quickly ducked behind her long pale blond hair again before uttering out a small "Good morning Ms. Toriel…"

The twins also greeted her with an, in unison, "Good morning Ms. Toriel!" Devon's naturally louder voice nearly drowning out his sister's. Kid did the same, ensuring she noticed they were wearing the poncho she'd made for them before strutting over to Papyrus. The other children followed suit, greeting the skeleton as well and watching with varied levels of amusement as Kid excitedly hopped up in down in front of him.

"Yo Papyrus! Did you bring me the scarf? Didya? Didya?" They asked, tail wagging a mile a minute.

Papyrus chuckled and puffed up his chest before dramatically reaching behind his back.

"INDEED I DID, NUMBER ONE FAN! HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY!" He announced before pulling back his hand holding… nothing.

Everyone stared at him blankly for a moment, before Kid broke the silence, tail slowing to a stop.

"Uh, dude, there's nothing there..."

Papyrus' expression morphed into surprise and then guilt, but it looked very… forced.

"ALAS! HAS THE GREAT PAPYRUS TRULY FORGOTTEN THE GIFT FOR HIS GREATEST ADORING FAN?" He said in a overly dramatic tone, laying the back of his hand against his forehead.

He then leaned forward and placed both hands on Kid's small shoulders, still with his culpability on full display.

"CAN YOU EVER FORGIVE ME KID, FOR THIS MOST GRIEVOUS ACT OF NEGLIGENCE AND WRONGDOING?"

The monster child tilted their head a bit, about to speak when suddenly Papyrus was tying a bright red scarf around their neck. Toriel assumed he must have been hiding it in his glove somehow, but he had taken it out so fast she hadn't even seen it happen. Finishing off the neat knot around the front, the skeleton straightened up again with his usual bright grin restored.

"NYEH HEH HEH! I GOT YOU! THOROUGHLY JAPED BY THE GREAT PAPYRUS! I WOULD NEVER FORGET SUCH AN IMPORTANT GIFT FOR SUCH A GREAT FAN. WITH THIS SCARF, I DECLARE YOU THE SECOND COOLEST MONSTER OF ALL TIME!"

The whole stunt brought out laughter from everyone, even a tiny bit from Ana. Kid's eyes lit up like a fireworks show and they jumped up and down in an excited frenzy, utterly elated.

"Yo! Yo! Thank you Papyrus! Thank you! I love it so much!" They exclaimed, with the a smile sweet enough to induce a sugar high.

The skeleton mirrored their joy, and Toriel could tell beneath his attempts at being cool and collected in front of his fan, he was just as excited on the inside.

"YOU ARE MOST WELCOME!" He said, patting the monster child's scaly head before straightening up and putting his hands on his hips. "NOW, WHO IS READY FOR ANOTHER DAY OF FUN AND EDUCATION?"

All the children in the group, save Ana, replied with a cheer, though it was more from just the excitement of the moment than actual anticipation of the lessons. They all headed inside, Papyrus leading them with another "NYEH HEH HEH!"

After a quick glance at her checklist, ensuring that all the students were now present and accounted for, she turned and followed the others inside. She caught a glimpse of Undyne and Alphys in the hallway, chatting next to the entrance of the nurse's office. Both of them noticed her and Alphys offered her usual nervous little wave. Undyne narrowed her eyes at Toriel a bit and her facial fins twitched, but she eventually raised a hand in greeting too as she went by. Toriel returned the gesture with a far more convincing smile, not allowing the clear signs of the fish monster's anger towards her to affect her. She would surely deal with that later anyway, no need to show how much it was affecting her in the moment. She left the couple behind her after that and headed for the main classroom.

She found the room buzzing with energy and chatter as she entered, the thirty or so students mulling around conversing with the others or already seated at their desks. Frisk was standing with Kid and signing to a light pink sheep monster named Annie and a pale blue Ice elemental named Blanche. Flowey and his pot were already sitting atop Frisk's desk, watching the scene with his usual bitter look on his face. Frisk and Kid posed dramatically in their matching ponchos, prompting laughter and compliments from the other two monsters. Toriel got her child's attention and they quickly signaled to their friends to all sit down in response. Such a help they always were.

Stepping further into the room caught the attention of everyone else, and a slow hush fell over the room as they all hurriedly got to their seats. Though she had already greeted them all outside, the first thing she said once standing behind her desk was a kindly "Good morning everyone."

"Good morning Ms. Toriel!" The students responded in practiced unison.

Toriel looked over the room of young humans and monsters with a warm sense of pride welling up in her soul. Before her was a symbol of all of her greatest hopes and dreams, of peace between the two previously warring species and safety for the children of both sides. Those thoughts briefly faltered though, when her eyes landed on Frisk's smiling face, remembering the true fragility of the situation in a flash. All of this progress, all of what she and many others had fought so hard for, it could all be destroyed in a moment at her child's will, and they wouldn't even know it…

 _"No, stop thinking about it, you have a class to teach."_ Her mind snapped at her, and she was too tired to argue, forcing all her energy back to the task at hand.

She adjusted her glasses and picked up a piece of chalk before walking to the board and purposefully keeping her eyes away from Frisk and Flowey for the moment.

"I hope you all had a wonderful weekend." She began, beginning to write on the board in a neat, practiced manner. "Especially you Kid, happy birthday to you once again."

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the monster child blush lightly and then flash a great, big, toothy grin in response. The other students rose a brief chatter of agreement, many of having been attendees to Kid's party. It died down again before she continued speaking. As she described each part of the schedule, she wrote it on the board for all to see.

"This week in class, we will be addressing many exciting topics. For math, we will be learning to read different kinds of charts and graphs and how to create them ourselves. For science, we will be looking into the states of matter and mana. There will be many interactive activities for that. For reading, we will discuss a few famous short stories and assign the upcoming assignment where you all will read and report on a short story or poem of your choosing. And for history, we will be discussing the earliest origins of magic and monsters, with a guest lecture later this week from Ms. Alphys. I hope you all look forward to it."

A general sound of cheery agreement came from the students, some perking up at the mention of certain upcoming lessons more than others. With that, Toriel pushed back her exhaustion as best she could and launched into the first lesson of the day.

Despite her initial worries, everything went surprisingly well. Aside from a brief incident where the slime monster Goobert kept annoying the student in front of him with some sneaky bubble attacks. Apart from that, she was able to get through the math and science lectures for the day with ease. As well as oversee the activity that coincided with it, where the students saw how different conditions affected different types of mana and shifted them between forms. Physical in the form of bullets, liquid when summoned but not given the energy or focus to form, gaseous when exposed to air without a magic source for too long, and as pure energy when within a living being's soul. It had been quite insightful and enjoyable for the students, much to Toriel's satisfaction.

With that done, the students were off to lunch, then recess and then later PE with Undyne. Toriel would have a break for a while, and thank the stars for it, because the small reserve of energy born from will and her morning coffee was proving empty by this point. She slumped into her desk chair with a soft sigh once the last student had left, rubbing her forehead against the aching weariness. Or at least, she thought they'd all left. The soft sound of a familiar voice clearing their throat drove her attention to her side, finding Frisk standing beside her, Flowey's pot in their arms.

"Oh, sorry my child, I did not see you there." She apologized, willing her smile back to her face as much as she could.

Frisk regarded her somewhat uncertainly, clearly noticing her fatigue but eventually choosing not to comment on the matter. Instead, they placed Flowey's pot on her desk and lifted their hands to sign to her properly.

(Flowey doesn't want to go to lunch, says he's not hungry.) They said, casting a somewhat sad glance in the flower monster's direction.

Flowey paid the human child no mind, facing away from both of them and looking somewhat… droopy. It was only then that Toriel really realized he hadn't said a word all class. His avoidant attitude wasn't out of the ordinary for him, but he usually proved to be quite chatty and argumentative in class. With a full room of students to watch over, it was sometimes difficult for her to notice when one was acting differently than usual. Even if Flowey wasn't _technically_  a student, she still should have paid more attention to him. She looked sadly at the flower monster for a moment, soul gripped with conflicting emotions until Frisk moved their hands again to get her attention.

(Could he stay here with you until I get back?) They asked.

She tried not to let the spike of unease the question brought her show on her face. Oh stars, she just wanted to be alone for a while and relax, things that would surely be impossible with Flowey here. But she couldn't think of any excuse to deny the request in her exhausted state, so she nodded in reply after a moment.

"Alright my child, he can stay. Now off to lunch with you, I packed you some leftovers I think you will really enjoy." She said, winking at that last part.

Frisk's eyes lit up, clearly understanding what she was hinting at. They gave a quick nod then hurried off after their friends, leaving Toriel alone with Flowey. A strained silence stretched between the two for a moment, before she slowly rose from her chair and crossed the room over to where the sinks were. She could feel the flower monster's gaze boring into her back as she picked up a small watering can resting on the rim of the sink. A bright yellow can painted with red heart specifically made for Flowey himself. The silence continued as she filled the small can and carried it back over to him, finally meeting his gaze.

"Don't even think about it." The flower monster growled at last, narrowing his eyes at her.

Toriel blinked down at him in response, exasperated. Stars, she was too tired for this.

"Flowey, you do not look like you have been watered today. Your petals are drooping. At least let me give you a little, than I will leave you be." She said.

He continued to glare up at her for a few seconds more before deflating with a low snarl.

"Fine, whatever. But you better not just dump it on my head."

If she were in better spirits she may have laughed a bit at that, but as it was she simply heeded his request without comment, lightly watering the flower monster around his stem until the soil was dark and moist. Once done, she set the can down and went to sit back in her chair. The flower monster did not turn to face her, simply curled up in his pot and decidedly facing the window. She honored her word and left him be, deciding now was a good as time as any to check up on Sans. Not wanting to risk the potential problems a phone call could cause, she decided to try texting him. She hastily typed out a message, keeping watch of Flowey out of the corner of her eye.

To Sans: ( ´ U ` )

(Dear Sans,

I am on break now, and thought I should check in on you. Are you awake? How are you doing?

Sincerely,

Toriel. )

She felt a great sense of relief when her phone pinged less than a minute later, signaling his reply. She got sucked into the conversation after that, forgetting everything else around her as she and Sans messaged each other back and forth.

(hey tori, yah i'm up. woke up like an hour ago. and i'm fine, thanks for gettin me the day off. u the best. hope you aren't too tired tho.)

(You are most welcome, I am glad to hear you are feeling better. Do not worry about me, I am tired yes but it is nothing I cannot handle. What are you planning to do with your day off? )

(y'know, go full couch potato mode. can't exactly go to grillby's or anything when i'm supposed to be sick.)

(True, I suppose I cannot fault you for that too much, hee hee. ]: ) There is leftover dinner and dessert pie in the fridge if you get hungry.)

(way ahead of ya there t.)

(I should have guessed, well try not to eat all of it. I would like to save some for Frisk's and Flowey's school lunches.)

(um… oops... )

(Oh never mind it, I should have said something. I will simply have to make more sometime. Hope you enjoyed it at least ]: ) )

(sorry t, but yah it was great. couldn't resist when i remembered it was in there. would be a real  _pie_ -ing shame to let that go to waste.)

(L-O-L good one funnybones! ]X D Are you watching that documentary you told me about?)

(yup, its good so far, haven't fallen asleep again at least. pretty cool stuff. i'll show you the best parts later.)

(Oh, I would love that! Well if you are doing well, I will leave you to it then. Enjoy your day off and feel free to call if you need anything.)

(k tori, see you later then. hope school day goes good.)

(Thanks, all has been well so far! See you later. Oh, and be sure to text your brother something too, he is worried sick I am afraid.)

(right, thought so… will do. thanks.)

The last thing she sent was another one of the pun pictures she'd amassed in her photo gallery, just as an extra gesture to hopefully make him smile. It was an adorable otter with a space helmet on, floating amongst the stars with the caption "Otter Space." He replied back with quite the happy emoji and a thumbs up, so it was fair to say she had succeeded in that regard. She was pulled back to reality then by the harsh sound of Flowey's voice.

"You texting that smiley trashbag?" He asked, drawing her eyes to him.

The momentary respite she'd enjoyed evaporated as she met his unsettling grin. Feeling her own smile wither, she adjusted her glasses and laid her phone back on the desk.

"Yes, I was." She said, pointedly, unsure why she felt the need to defend the action to the flower monster.

He straightened up a bit on his stem and leaned a little closer to her, smile stretching wider.

"How's the  _poor little skeleton_  doing?" He asked in a mocking tone. "Did he fall and crack his skull again? Is he too sick to even move and is begging you to come save him?"

Toriel just shot the flower monster an annoyed glance, trying not to let her tiredness shorten her temper. She pulled the class schedule across the desk so she could look it over again, if only because she needed the distraction.

"No, he is feeling a lot better. I just wanted to check up on him." She said, tapping her pencil idly against the side of the paper.

Flowey chuckled and she could see him leaning closer in her peripheral vision. When he spoke again, he lowered his voice to just above a whisper and his tone became icy.

"Really? Because I have my doubts that he was ever sick at all."

Toriel practically felt the world tilt beneath her. The air vanished from her lungs and a terrible chill seemed to lock her whole body in place. She couldn't stop herself from meeting his gaze again though, eyes widening despite herself. Beneath her fur, she was surely going pale. Flowey seemed delighted by her response though, giggling and wiggling his leaves a bit.

"Golly! Looks like I hit the mark on that one huh?" He asked, tilting his head on his stem. "I've seen him act like this before, all the nightmares, the suspicious injuries, the sneaking about… and it definitely wasn't because he had a bug."

In that moment, she knew it was all over. She had been found out and there was no escaping it. Her soul clenched tightly with despair, unable to even ponder what had given her away. The guilt was so intense it nearly brought tears to her eyes, but all she could do in the moment was stare at him as he continued speaking, still numb with shock.

"He told you didn't he? I can see it in your eyes." The flower monster went on, confirming her worst fears without mercy. "I'll bet he finally  _cracked_  didn't he? Did he cry like a idiot and beg you to believe him? That's what he did with his brother way back when, loads of times."

With that, his face morphed and twisted into a callous imitation of Sans', complete with fake tears.

"Papyrus you have to believe me, I promise i'm not crazy bro!" The flower monster imitated Sans' voice in a cruelly mocking tone. "I keep waking up in the same day over and over! It's that damn flower! It's messing with the world somehow. Please, you gotta believe me!"

His display of scorn trailed off into a peal of devious laughter as his face shifted back to normal. Toriel finally found the will to speak, glancing with gripping anxiety at the door before she did so and praying the fact it was closed was keeping this conversation private. Playing dumb at this point would be pointless, though the temptation was overwhelming. She swallowed hard, curling her claws into the wood of the desk.

"Yes… he did tell me." She managed at last, just loud enough to hear. Flowey beamed.

"Ha! I knew it! So you know now then! About the resets, the timelines…" He sounded far too happy about this for her liking, practically gushing over every word. "Golly, he hasn't done something this interesting in ages! Though clearly he kept his word and didn't tell you everything. About me, at least. if he had, you'd be a sobbing broken mess on the floor right about now. I've seen it before."

That brought her pause, even through the still numbing roar of despair gripping her. But it was clear from the brief expression of bitterness that crossed his face that Flowey clearly had no interest in discussing that further. Still, a response escaped her almost subconsciously as her gaze drifted to her phone, and her thoughts to the monster she loved.

"Yes, he did not tell me anything about you other than that you could… reset… He said you had a right to your secrets…" She murmured, feeling the sting of tears prickling at her eyes.

Stars above, what if this was what ruined everything? What if all this led to another reset? Sans was finally starting to show some improvement, if his texts were any indication. How could the universe be so cruel as to have everything start unravelling now? By the stars it would  _destroy_ him. He would never trust her again, not after this. He may not trust anyone ever again… That level of despair could be enough to make him fa-

That thought halted when she felt a vine lightly brush her face, and flinched to see Flowey staring at her with a slightly more neutral expression. Though the grin he had on his face still was enough to make her shudder.

"Hey… Don't worry, I won't blab to Frisk about your little secret." He crooned, feigning a friendlier smile. "Believe it or not, I actually don't want them to reset either… Not that I think this would make them though, they've been pretty strict on shutting down any suggestion or mentions of resets from me this run."

It took a bit for what he'd just said to really sink in and she truly wondered if he somehow had read her mind. Relief welled up within her soul instantly but it was somewhat tempered by the equally intense feeling of confusion that accompanied it. She shot him a questioning look, prompting a softer, less spiteful laugh from the flower monster.

"Yah, being on the surface is much more interesting if nothing else. I've experienced everything the Underground has to offer, so i'm in no hurry to go back. I might just die of boredom if that happens."

He leaned in close again, regarding her as if she were some fascinating bug he'd just discovered. She grimaced and backed up a bit in her chair, rather uncomfortable with the whole situation. If he noticed, he didn't care.

"Plus… With you specifically. This is the furthest I've seen you go in regards to making up with Asgore. That's definitely new! What you did this morning was the closest you've come to a real conversation about everything that happened! No way I'd sabotage seeing where that is going… even if it means seeing you flirt with that… yech… smiley trashbag."

Any apparent joy the conversation had brought him dissipated quickly in that moment. He retreated back into his pot with a bitter, disgusted scowl on his face again. A brief period of silence followed and Toriel just, couldn't find the will to say anything, not that she would know what to say even if she did. Her head was in a whirl as her eyes dropped back to her class schedule, not helped by her terrible exhaustion and the fact she was now missing her lunch because of this. Stars, worrying about such trivial things now seemed so pointless. Everything seemed so pointless when under the shadow of all this.

As before, those thoughts only halted when Flowey spoke again, catching her slightly off guard.

"You know that he is a child killer too right? He must of killed Frisk  _dozens_  of times." The flower monster said, a small grin splitting across his face again.

She drew in a deep breath and forced herself to meet his gaze again, scarlet eyes heavy.

"I know, Flowey." She replied softly, voice dull.

Sans had never explicitly told her that, but it hadn't been hard to figure out with all he'd said. The thought made her soul ache terribly… for Sans and for her child. It was a bitter mix that made her feel vaguely ill. Flowey was clearly displeased by her answer, petals flaring as he drew himself to his full height again.

"Then why are you so -ugh- mushy over him?! You should hate him just as much!" He spat, baring his fangs at her. "Why do you treat D-... Asgore like garbage and not him?"

The question once again took a moment to register, especially with his odd hesitation with Asgore's name. But before she could answer, his face twisted into something dark and even… hateful, as he spoke in a strange, resonating voice.

"You are a dirty, rotten hypocrite."

This time his words did not shock her into silence, and she drew herself up a bit, working up a stern expression. Like with a lot of things, a spark of anger was a good tool in getting her to refocus, and this case was no exception. But she kept her cool and kept her voice calm and controlled as she replied.

"Flowey… are you telling me you do not see the difference here?" She asked, coolly. "Are you honestly trying to tell me that what Sans did then was not an act of self defense?"

That definitely took Flowey by surprise and his confidence deflated as he did, sinking down a bit into his pot. He grumbled as he tried to find some counter to her words. Frustration won over in the end though.

"W-well... so what!? He still killed them! Loads of times! You should still hate his guts! Aren't the lives of those human kids the  _only_  thing you care about?" He snapped, glaring her down with his dark beady eyes.

Her own lips twitched with the beginnings of a snarl, but she maintained control. She shot him a look as though he had just spouted utter nonsense, and to her, he had.

"Of course not… Do not be ridiculous." She shot back, but minding the volume of her voice.

She shook her head in exasperation before looking at with him with even a hint of pity in her eyes.

"Flowey, do you truly see me as being that irrational? I do not know where you got these ideas, or why this bothers you so much… but I sincerely am sorry that you feel this way."

Her words once again seemed to surprise him, a strange mix of emotions flaring behind his eyes. But the fire had not died down within him and he went on without hardly missing a beat.

"What about  _me_ , huh?" He asked, a manic smile stretching across his features. "You know now, so you know what I did. I am probably a million times worse than Frisk and the trashbag combined. I've killed them both, you, and everyone else more ways and more times than I can count! So do you hate  _me,_ Toriel?"

The words hit her like strikes from magic bullets, draining her already fatigued soul even further. The implications set her imagination running wild. Still, she kept her stance, firmly shaking her head after a few moments.

"No Flowey, I do not hate you. I know what you did, yes. And I am sure it was all just as terrible as you say. But I do not hate you. Or Asgore, or anyone."

His smile briefly faltered at that, before returning along with a dark glint in his eyes.

"Hmm, is that so? Guess he must of spared you of the details then, no way you'd say that if you knew what I did to that trashbag, personally that is." He went on in a deceptively more pleasant voice.

Toriel felt the chill of dread return to her and she swallowed hard again, not liking at all where this was going. Flowey did not miss the gesture, leaning closer again with a wickedly pleased expression.

"I am the one who messed him up so badly you know. I am the reason he started having all those night terrors, the reason he is such a worthless wreck half the time, the reason he  _gave up_."

He spoke those last words in that strange discordant voice again, letting them hang in the air for a moment and seeming to relish in her pained expression before continuing.

"You could say he was my favorite of you all for a bit near the start of my… experimental phase. Having a monster to play with who actually remembered events between resets and kept damage from them was just so interesting and different! I would target those he cared about specifically just to see how it would affect him and how he'd try to explain it afterwards… I'd reset multiple times in a single day, just to mess with him! Then i'd let the run stretch on for a long time without showing up, and oh man, seeing the paranoia slowly drive him crazy was just…"

He trailed off into another fit a giggles again, wiggling his leaves a bit as he seemed to think back on it all.

"And oh, he tried to stop me at first, fought me more times than I could count! And slaved away at that stupid machine of his, convinced it held the key to ending it all, but it was just as useless as he was. Eventually he stopped trying to stop me, didn't hardly react at all no matter who I offed in front of him, even when it was his brother! He just sat there and watched without a word, sometimes he didn't even bother coming out of his house unless I dragged him out myself!"

Flowey let out a sigh, sounding very much like a bored child in that moment, rather than someone admitting to multiple acts of murder and torture. Her soul pulsed violently within her, willing her to speak and make the flower monster stop talking. But she found she couldn't move or speak.

"He stopped being fun after that, i couldn't really get him to react to anything I did. I found out that his brother is much,  _much_  more interesting anyway, as a monster and as a subject to mess with. And I had ensured Sans knew better than to try to interfere with me anymore by that point. So in the end I just tossed that trashbag aside and forgot about him for the most part… after all…"

He met her eyes again, tilting his head with a truly insidious, soulless smile.

"Where's the fun in playing with a toy that's already been broken?"

As before when he'd first revealed that he'd figured out the truth behind their ruse, she felt as though the world would fall away beneath her at any moment. But beyond that, his words enflamed that spark of anger that had been burning like a single hot ember within her soul, sending it roaring to life.  _How dare he…_

In a flash, she was on her feet, shoving her face mere inches from the flower monster's and baring her fangs in a fierce snarl. Her claws dug into the table, smoke curled from her nostrils and her eyes flared with rage.

" _Shut. up._ " She growled, deep in her throat.

That elicited quite the flinch from Flowey, who recoiled down as far into his pot as he could manage. All traces of that cruel sadism was gone, replaced for the moment with only childish fear and confusion. Something about his expression was so… familiar… and it stirred some foggy part of her memories, like an itch that manifested deep within her mind. It made her remember herself and she drew a deep, slow breath before stepping back and composing herself as much as she could manage.

"Stop." She said again, in a softer, if still clearly angry tone. "You have no right to be speaking about him this way, revealing things that he may not want me to know. He had the decency to honor your request in keeping your past to himself, can you not offer him that same respect?"

Flowey stared up at her, still fairly stunned, before averting his eyes with an expression that was difficult to read. Finally he drew himself up again, not quite to his full height though, and she didn't miss the faint tremble in his leaves.

"Fine…" He said quietly, voice dull.

There was a pause, then he lowered his head a bit more. A single word escaped him, so quiet she nearly didn't hear it.

"...sorry…"

Toriel sighed, sinking back into her chair and resting her head in her paws. She didn't know what to think about that apology, she didn't know what to think about anything right now. She wanted to just… pass out right here and go to sleep, forget all this. But she knew that was not acceptable, and that even if she did sleep, it would not offer her any escape now.

Eventually, once she felt her emotions had evened out within her again, she lowered her paws and looked back at Flowey. His head was hanging low, in a way that one could easily mistake him for a normal, wilting flower. The gesture made him look genuinely remorseful, though she had doubts that that was truly the case. She knew she had to say something, even if she really didn't want to.

"I… appreciate your apology." She said softly, voice slightly hoarse. "But… you know I am not the one you should truly be apologizing to…"

Flowey stiffened, but said nothing and did not face her. That odd tingling sensation within her memories came again and it drove her, to both their surprise, to reach out and cup the sides of his pot with both her paws. As she pulled him a little closer, it prompted him to look up at her again, wincing slightly as though he expected to be struck.

"Flowey…" She said weakly, not really knowing where the words were coming from, but not fighting them. "I do not know who you are, why you did all these terrible things, why you seem to delight so much in hurting others… But I do know that my child sees good in you, something that I cannot. And there are rare instances where I think I can see it too..."

Her claws tightened against the pot momentarily, and her eyes grew heavier as she went on.

"I want to believe them, and I am not the only one… Sans may not have told me about who or what you are… But… He did tell me not to give up on you, nor turn my back on you.."

Flowey's eyes widened and darted around as he began to shiver. Toriel had never seen him look so… distraught.

"Why?" He choked out, sounding near tears. "Why?! I don't…  _I don't understand_ …"

Her eyes softened at that, briefly glimpsing the reality of the frightened, broken child before her. Even with the anger still lingering at the edges of her soul, she was able to feel some sympathy for him again. She looked away out the window for a moment, conjuring up the image of her dear skeleton in her mind.

"I do not know…" She admitted softly, with a touch of warmth. "That skeleton… he certainly has a far greater capacity for forgiveness than I do… perhaps more so than anyone I have ever met, monster, human or otherwise. Stars knows I could stand to learn a thing or two from him..."

She shook her head, both to break from that line of thinking and to turn back and meet Flowey's gaze again.

"But I intend to honor his request, and continue to let you live here with us, be part of our family, learn to grow, and be a better person… The question is, are you willing to do that? Any of our efforts will be fruitless if you have no desire to try."

Flowey stared back at her, the faintest hints of moisture at the edges of his eyes. Then he let out a long sigh, and a more grumpy, tired expression formed on his face. He looked defeated, but not necessarily in a bad way. There was a hint of… something in his dark eyes that kept him from looking too pitiful. It wasn't quite warmth… but it was something more positive, enough to give them a soft, almost pleasant shimmer.

"Yeah, sure…" He relented, avoiding her eyes.

And though the words were not as appropriately serious for the situation as she would have liked, there was just enough genuineness there to satisfy her. After a pause of hesitation, she cautiously reached up a paw and ruffled his petals gently in an affectionate gesture.

"Thank you Flowey… " She said simply, feeling it was all that was needed.

To her surprise, he did not pull away this time, allowing the gesture with only an irritated grumble and what could only be described as a pout. The sight brought a small amused smile to her face as well as a fond memory, vividly dancing through her mind as though it had only happened yesterday. Flowey glowered up at her, clearly misjudging her amusement.

"What's so funny?" He asked, a touch defensively.

She kept the smile on her face as she pulled her paw back into her lap. Tears stung faintly at her eyes again, but not for any negative emotions this time.

"Sorry… It is just... you... you reminded me of my son just then." She said, wistfully.

The flower monster flinched, and a concerning amount of shock shone briefly in his eyes before he composed himself again.

"Wh-what? How?" He stammered.

Toriel didn't pay much mind to his reaction, chalking it up to more of his usual odd behavior and losing some of the potential impact of it due to her own exhaustion. She simply smiled down at him with the same warmth in her eyes.

"Oh... he used to pout the same way you do when he was upset with me, with his fangs poking out and his face all scrunched up…" Her reminiscing faltered as she remembered who she was talking to and she averted her gaze.

"Sorry, do not mind me…"

Flowey offered no response for a bit, the only sounds filling the room being the faint, muffled sound of staff and students in the hall, the calls of cicadas outside and the soft, rhythmic ticking of the clock on the wall.

"Well, your son sounds like he was an idiot… a real crybaby." The flower monster said at last, in an uncharacteristically quiet voice.

Those words should have made her fall back into anger, but despite their inherent harshness, there was no real malice behind them. Flowey just sounded so…  _sad_. So her soul stayed calm, and the reply she offered reflected it.

"He was a wonderfully kind and thoughtful child…" She murmured, feeling one tear run into the fur on her cheek. "I think… he would have wanted me to forgive you too."

Neither said anything after that. Flowey eventually turned away back towards the window and this time Toriel followed his gaze to see he was looking at the distant shape of Mt. Ebott, looming over all of Newer Home as it always did. They both kept up their silence until the door to the classroom reopened again. Papyrus stood in the doorway, with a bagged lunch and… a good portion of the staff in tow. Looks like they had chosen today to surprise her with a group lunch break.

Oh stars, this was going to be a long day.


	16. Hazy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Holidays to you all! <3 Have another long chapter as a holiday gift from me, with some extra fluff thrown in for good measure. 
> 
> (Warnings for this chapter: nothing major)

Toriel did her best to work up a smile as the other staff, many of them part of her extended family, began to enter the room. Some had been chatting while still out in the hall, but most fell into silence at the sight of her. She soon found herself pinned by the gazes of Papyrus, Undyne, Alphys, Bonnie the purple rabbit monster, Danny the tan cat monster, and Xena the human new hire. All of them looked at her with varying levels of concern, with Papyrus being the first to speak.

"MS. TORIEL? ARE YOU ALRIGHT?" He asked with a frown.

She blinked, and realized there were still tears in her eyes. Hot embarrassment flared up in her soul and she was quick to wipe them away, trying to make the action look as casual as possible, as though she were only adjusting her glasses.

"Y-yes I am fine, I was just... um... " She glanced briefly at Flowey, who was still facing away, curled up in his usual resting position.

"I was just thinking about something... and you know me, I can be such a silly old thing. Do not worry, I am fine. Do come in everyone." She finished, facing them all again with a smile that honestly hurt to force.

None looked all that convinced, and a few of them exchanged uneasy glances, but then they all continued filing into the room anyway. They pulled a few desks up around hers and sat in a somewhat misshapen semi-circle. It made her smile feel just a bit less fake. They didn't always get to eat together like this every school day, but the times where they could manage it were such a joy. Everyone began setting their lunches on the table, and she was surprised when Papyrus set the bag he'd been carrying in front of her.

"I COULDN'T HELP BUT NOTICE YOU FORGOT TO PACK YOURSELF A LUNCH MS. TORIEL." He said, standing at her side. "UNLESS OF COURSE YOU SOMEHOW STORED IT IN YOUR RATHER SMALL PURSE, WHICH IS HIGHLY IMPROBABLE. SO I TOOK IT UPON MYSELF TO PREPARE YOU SOMETHING IN THE SCHOOL KITCHENS."

It took her a second to realize he was right, she  _had_ forgotten to pack a lunch. That wasn't like her at all. She tried not to dwell on it too much as she shot the skeleton a thankful smile.

"Oh dear, I suppose I did forget… Thank you Papyrus, that was very thoughtful of you." She said, reaching to pick up the paper bag and pull out the contents.

What she found was a water bottle, a few plastic utensils, and of course, a plastic container full of spaghetti. She cringed a bit internally, but did not let it show on her face. With Papyrus watching her like this, she couldn't afford to hesitate without potentially hurting his feelings. Steeling herself as best she could, she opened the container, twirled some of the pasta on her fork and took a bite.

Now Papyrus  _had_  been improving with his cooking lately, but he still had trouble learning to distance himself from Undyne's… questionable spaghetti cooking practices. So it inevitably still tasted pretty bad, and was dreadfully cold, she strained to keep a smile on her face as she chewed it. The skeleton watched with practically sparkling sockets and she wasn't about to stomp on his enthusiasm.

"Its um… l-lovely, my friend. Thank you." She managed, swallowing the first bite with a small shudder.

Papyrus beamed, while the others in the room shot sympathetic glances her way, many having experienced this exact thing themselves. Everyone began eating after that, a comfortable level of amiable chatter beginning to fill the room. Papyrus went to sit at the desk beside hers, pulling out a sandwich from his own bag and taking a few, neat bites. He kept sending glances her way, so she kept eating the unsavory noodles, despite her soul's protests. I went on that way until Alphys, surprisingly, spoke up.

"U-um, Toriel. N-not to pry o-or anything, but you seem k-kinda… well... a-are you sure everything's okay?" The lizard monster stuttered, dipping her chopsticks into a cup of ramen.

Toriel noticed her cast an uneasy look at Flowey as she spoke. The flower monster turned slightly to glare sharply at her and Alphys looked away again abruptly. Toriel wasn't sure why, but the lizard monster looked slightly pale in that moment, and something like guilt shown in her eyes.

"Yah, you aren't looking so hot." Undyne chipped in from beside her girlfriend.

She no longer appeared quite as irritated with Toriel as before, probably more out of pity for her poor state than truly getting over her frustrations with her. Toriel wasn't foolish enough to think the fish monster wouldn't eventually drag her into an argument over Asgore at some point, but she was glad that it seemed postponed for the moment. She chewed and swallowed another bite of cold pasta before answering, feeling anxiety well up in her soul again.

"Do not worry about me, I just have been having some trouble sleeping lately... I am fine, really, just a bit tired." She lied, feeling a bit small under all their scrutinizing gazes.

She really wished all of them would stop looking at her that way. At least Asgore had to go back to his duties at the capitol building. If he were here drilling her with the same worried look she was getting from the others, she wasn't sure she'd be able to handle it.

Xena, the only human in the room, was the one to reply next. She was a short young woman with long black hair and a somewhat narrow eye shape like Frisk's. Toriel had only hired her a few months ago to work a couple odd jobs around the school. She was quite the blunt and stoic type, but had a soft spot for children that could honestly rival Toriel's. So it was fair to say the she and her got along well.

"You look like my sister after a night of partying, Miss." She said, a bit of a playful grin working its way on her face. "You sure you weren't out drinking with Mr. Bones or something last night?"

Toriel blinked at that, taking a second to remember that that was her nickname for Sans. Then she laughed lightly and shook her head.

"No, no. Nothing like that. I would certainly not drink the night before a school day, Xena. And besides, I told you, Sans is sick. That is why I asked you to cover his duties today." She said.

As she was talking, Bonnie slid a small paper bag over onto her desk, one the smelled quite delightful. She glanced down at it once she had finished speaking then back at the rabbit monster. The former shopkeeper, now head of cooking staff, gave her a wink then turned back to talk with Danny. Toriel picked up the small parcel and opened it to find a freshly baked cinnamon bunny. Its adorable pastry ears, chocolate chip eyes and icing topping and tail made it almost too cute to eat.

But she shot the rabbit monster a thankful smile and bit into the treat regardless. Needless to say, it was much easier on her taste buds than the spaghetti. She appreciated both shows of thoughtfulness on their behalf though, and felt a rush of warmth flow through her soul, so very grateful for the friends she'd found here on the surface. Their unflinching kindness towards her made the act of lying to them like this hurt even worse. Burying that thought, she turned her attention back to Xena as the human spoke up again.

"Yah, but I figured you were like, covering for the fact he was hung over or something." She chuckled, before taking a bite of her own sandwich.

"OH NO, MS. XENA, MY BROTHER IS MOST CERTAINLY ILL!" Papyrus cut in. "OR AT LEAST IS RECOVERING FROM AN ILLNESS. WORRY NOT THOUGH! HE SENT ME A TEXT JUST A SHORT WHILE AGO CONFIRMING THAT HE IS DOING MUCH BETTER AS OF TODAY."

Xena's grin widened a bit and she leaned back in her chair.

"Great, means I don't have to cover his shifts tomorrow." She replied with a shrug. "I'd much rather go back to recess duty. That bonehead makes all the stuff he does look so damn easy with all the napping he works in, but man, mopping the back entranceway took  _forever_."

Danny was the next to speak, while still chewing a bite of some sort of fish he'd brought as his lunch. His tail swayed lazily behind him as he spoke.

"You know he uses like, magic shit and all that to help him do it right? He levitates stuff around and teleports from room to room, nearly made me leap outta my skin when he popped up behind me during my smoke break." The cat monster said, clamping his mouth shut in realization as those last few words escaped him.

He looked at Toriel nervously, and offered a weak grin.

"...W-which I definitely don't take anymore eheheheh…"

She narrowed her eyes a bit at him, trying to discern if she detected the stench of cigarettes from his general direction or not. There wasn't any, so she let him off with a warning glare this time. One of the conditions of her hiring him was that he give up that harmful habit. She'd been happy to give him a chance when he'd seemed so desperate for work away from Mettaton, but she couldn't very well have a regular smoker around the children.

" _Language_  Daniel." She said sternly. "There is a child present."

Flowey, the child in question, rolled his eyes with a huff and curled up tighter. Usually he'd offer some snide comment, but he kept up his silence.

"S-sorry ma'am." Danny said, smile stretching wider but looking more like a grimace. The cat monster certainly had a knack for odd faces.

Toriel made a mental note to keep a better eye on him, and maybe talk to Sans about this incident Danny had mentioned later on. That is, if her weary mind could remember later. Stars, she was so tired… She finished off the cinnamon bunny with another bite, hoping that the sugar would give her some energy to get her through the day. In the momentary silence, a few eyes began to turn her way again. Not wanting there to be any chance of the conversation directing back to her poor state, she was quick to speak up with another re-directing question.

"So who  _is_  monitoring the children right now?" She asked, taking a mental note of who wasn't present.

Undyne noisily slurped up a noodle from hers and Alphys' shared ramen cup before answering Toriel's question, prompting quite the blush from the lizard monster.

"Don't worry bout it, Torch and Benji got it covered. The kids love those guys." She said, flashing one of her signature toothy grins.

Ah yes, the dragon and rabbit couple. Formal royal guardsmen if Toriel remembered correctly. Undyne had them assist her with PE class most days. They were quite the large and imposing pair, but Undyne was right, the kids did love them. Toriel nodded, content with that answer. Bonnie laughed quietly from the desk beside her.

"You did tell Torch he has to keep his shirt on right? Need I remind you of the incident from the field trip last month?" The rabbit monster asked with a knowing smile.

That brought a soft peal of laughter from most everyone in the room, save Flowey of course. That reflection on the humorous fiasco where a group of humans were horrified to find a shirtless dragon carrying multiple human and monster children through the museum sent the conversation into an amusing, comfortable direction for some time after that. Toriel was just relieved that the focus was no longer on her. Everyone finished their meals a short while later and began to get up to head back to their duties, especially Undyne, who would be handling the children next in PE class one recess was done.

Toriel bid them farewell for the time being, waving to them as they left and thanking them for their thoughtfulness. She was rather unsurprised when Papyrus remained in the room though, standing anxiously beside her desk. Her own uneasy emotions and weariness returned to her soul as well, and she had to mentally prepare herself for the inevitable conversation ahead. Turning, she met the skeleton's gaze expectantly, noticing Flowey eyeing them absently all the while. She did her best to ignore him.

"MS. TORIEL… MAY I UM… TROUBLE YOU FOR A QUICK CHAT?" He asked, wringing his gloved hands together a bit.

Truthfully she wanted to say no, to please leave and let her maybe put her head down for five minutes at least. She had had enough exhausting conversations for one day surely. But she couldn't do that, not to the endlessly sweet Papyrus. So she put on that forced smile and nodded as though unbothered by the question.

"Yes of course, my friend. What is it?" She asked, moving to her desk and indicating for him to sit down in the chair beside her.

He obliged with a small smile, sitting beside her as she did the same. He cleared his metaphorical throat and cast a somewhat uneasy glance at the eavesdropping Flowey before speaking again

"WELL… I'VE JUST... I'VE BEEN SO WORRIED! AND I WANTED TO CHECK WITH YOU ABOUT WHAT'S GOING ON WITHOUT THE OTHERS HERE, IN CASE IT'S... EASIER THAT WAY?" He said, still rather uncertainly.

Toriel blinked in somewhat feigned confusion, but kept her smile in place.

"Oh? Why is that? Sans texted you, did he not? He is doing much better. No need to worry, I am sure he will be back to his usual funnybones self soon enough." She assured him, clinging to some hope that that was indeed what he had meant.

But Papyrus shook his head, meeting her gaze more confidently. That confidence was not reflected in her own eyes surely and she felt her claws dig into her lap as her paws stiffened.

"NO, MY CONCERNS AT THE MOMENT ARE NOT FOR MY BROTHER, AT LEAST... NOT THE MOST PRESSING ONES. I KNOW WHAT TO EXPECT WITH HIM. NO, MY CURRENT WORRIES ARE FOR  _YOU_  MS. TORIEL."

Well, there it was… No way she could get out of this now, with how tired she was she knew she wouldn't be able to think of any sort of convincing excuse. Her small grin faltered a bit, and she wasn't sure how to respond. The skeleton noticed her hesitation though and went on.

"YOU LOOKED LIKE YOU HAD BEEN… CRYING BEFORE WE CAME IN… AND EVEN NOW YOU SEEM TERRIBLY EXHAUSTED. I… I HAVE NEVER SEEN YOU LOOK LIKE THIS." He paused momentarily, then straightened up with a stronger voice. "AS YOUR FRIEND, I FEEL IT IS MY DUTY TO ASK WHAT IS TROUBLING YOU AND WHAT, I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, CAN DO TO HELP."

Toriel's breath caught in her throat a bit and she swallowed hard.

"I…" She croaked out, noticing Flowey now watching with piqued interest. The malicious glee was absent from his face now though, only leaving… curiosity.

"I am grateful for your concern Papyrus." She managed after a moment. "I assure you though, I will be alright. I have just been having a hard time with some personal things going on. I have not gotten the sleep i should have. And with what happened with Sans falling ill and getting hurt and all… It has me a bit out of sorts I am afraid."

Papyrus tapped a gloved hand against his lower jaw and narrowed his sockets a bit. He leaned forward slightly as if to get a better look at her.

"HMM… ARE YOU SURE YOU HAVEN'T CAUGHT MY BROTHER'S ILLNESS?" He asked. "YOU WERE CARING FOR HIM DURING THE WORST OF IT, AND IT WOULD EXPLAIN A LOT."

Oh, if only he knew the irony of that question and of the true answer to it. In a way, she  _had_  caught her dear skeleton's illness. The great burden that ailed his soul now ailed hers as well. But Papyrus could not know that, not from her at least, so she shook her head. It worried her just how accustomed to lying she was becoming.

"No, I am not ill Papyrus. I have no fever or any of the symptoms he did. I am just really tired... I will be alright. Do not worry about me, okay?" She assured him once again, smile beginning to hurt to keep up as before.

His frown deepened and something truly sad and even… frustrated? showed in his expression before he let out a deep sigh. It was a sight that was so unlike the usually exuberant, cheerful skeleton that it brought a pang of pain to her soul. A melancholy smile appeared on his face then, and he met her gaze again.

"YOU KNOW… YOU REALLY DO SOUND JUST LIKE MY BROTHER." He said in a sad, softer voice. "I COULDN'T POSSIBLY COUNT THE NUMBER OF TIMES HE'S SAID THOSE EXACT WORDS TO ME… EVEN WHEN IT'S OBVIOUS HE IS MISERABLE OVER SOMETHING, EVEN WHEN I WAKE UP TO HEAR HIM SCREAMING OR TEARING UP HIS ROOM DUE TO SOME NIGHTMARE… HE ALWAYS GIVES ME THOSE SAME WORDS."

He let out a humorless chuckle, almost sounding like his brother as well for a moment.

"HONESTLY… I WAS HOPING YOU WOULD BE THE ONE TO RUB OFF ON  _HIM,_  NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND…"

Those words hit Toriel hard, like a strike from some wicked set of claws… or a… slash from a knife. He was right of course, she had abandoned many of her own principles to keep Sans' secret like she was. And she really  _did_  sound like him… Saying pretty much the same words that he had to her that day when Toriel had first decided to get him to talk to her. Oh how the tables had turned. It hadn't really occurred to her until Papyrus had spelled it out for her. And her child had noticed it too… their words from the previous night came back to her.

_(You look... Your eyes are sad. And tired… Like... Sans'...)_

By the stars, Flowey was  _right_. She really was a hypocrite, in more ways than one. But there was nothing to be done for it, she had already made her peace with that. Even with this realization weighing down on her, she would never break her promise. Still, the guilt she felt for putting Papyrus through this when he truly didn't deserve it was oh so painful, and it burned like a hot ball of flame in her chest. He was just as she had been, just genuinely wanting to help and be there for those he loved. Asgore had expressed similar desires as well, even though she didn't wish to think about it. This web of lies was hurting everyone caught in its sticky threads, but she could not be the one to free any of them from it.

"I am sorry, my friend." She said simply, the exhaustion leaking into her voice beyond her control.

She hung her head a bit and no other words would come. Her claws curled into the fabric of her dress as a wave of self deprecating thoughts washed over her. After a moment Papyrus got up slowly from his chair and closed the distance between them to wrap her in a tight hug. She blinked in surprise, not expecting it, but then gratefully reciprocated the hug, letting her eyes fall shut.

His soul held no contempt, only radiating out feelings of warmth that could rival sunbeams on a clear summer day. He really was too good for this world, that Papyrus. All the endless gushing over his brother Sans had done those early days at the Ruins door had not at all been an exaggeration. Papyrus was worthy of all that praise and more in her eyes.

"IT IS ALRIGHT, MS. TORIEL." The skeleton said in a stronger voice, though it still carried a faint defeated quality. "I THINK I UNDERSTAND... CAN YOU AT LEAST… TELL ME WHAT I CAN DO TO HELP? FOR YOU… AND FOR MY BROTHER?"

Toriel's smile became smaller, but far more genuine as she gave her friend a light squeeze. Her eyes slid open again as she replied.

"Just keep being yourself, my friend, that is truly the best thing you can do. Me and your brother are both going through some hard times right now, things that… cannot be shared, not yet at least. But your kindness and positivity are a great comfort to both of us. And for your brother specifically… You mean everything to him Papyrus, you really do."

More words building inside her seared her tongue like hot embers. And though it opened up a pit of anxiety in her soul, she felt she had to say something else, something that Flowey's words had resparked in her mind. Her tone sobered up to become more serious and she forced the words out.

"My friend… If Sans ever tells you something that seems… strange or even impossible. Please try to believe him regardless… alright? It would mean so much to him. Let him come to you when he is ready though... That is all I can say, I am afraid. I am sorry..."

Papyrus was quiet for a moment, somewhat of a rarity for him. Then he gently pulled away and gave her a small nod once he was facing her. He sank back into the chair before he spoke once again.

"ALRIGHT… I WILL BE SURE TO KEEP THAT IN MIND. THANK YOU MS. TORIEL." He said, looking a little placated at least.

She managed another small smile and laid her paws back in her lap. Her eyes were briefly drawn over to Flowey by instinct, wondering how he was taking all this. But the flower monster was again facing away, curled up in his pot as if asleep. Papyrus' voice drew her gaze back to him before she could think too much about that.

"I SUPPOSE I SHOULD BE ANGRY OR JEALOUS IN A WAY… THAT HE SEEMS TO HAVE CONFIDED IN YOU SOMETHING AND NOT ME… BUT I AM NOT! NOT… COMPLETELY ANYWAY." He said, voice now far closer to his usual tone.

Toriel tilted her head slightly with a questioning look.

"Oh? And why is that?"

His grin widened, and a faint mischievous glint was visible in his sockets.

"BECAUSE! IF IT WASN'T ME, IT WAS CERTAINLY GOING TO BE YOU, MS. TORIEL. HE IS… PROTECTING MY FEELINGS BECAUSE HE FEELS THAT IS HIS DUTY AS MY BIG BROTHER, BUT HE DOES NOT HAVE THOSE SAME RESERVATIONS WITH YOU. YOU… MAY INDEED BE MORE CAPABLE OF UNDERSTANDING HIS STRUGGLES THAN EVEN I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, AM. THOUGH IT PAINS ME TO ADMIT IT."

His smile faltered for a moment, but then he managed to regain it, and that glint of mischief grew more pronounced.

"NEVERTHELESS! I AM GLAD. FOR IT SHOWS YOU TWO TRULY ARE GROWING CLOSER THAN EVER. AFTER ALL, IT IS ONLY NATURAL HE'D FEEL COMFORTABLE OPENING UP TO THE MONSTER HE  _LOVES_." He said, drawing out that word in particular and shooting her a wink.

She had seen it coming this time, but she still felt her face heat up at that. Oh stars, did he have to be so blunt? At least he hadn't been using his usual volume of voice. If this had been a normal day, she would have shot him a feigned look of annoyance, if only to dissuade any potential further discussion on the topic. But she was far too tired for that, and truthfully, she felt like facing the issue rather than continue dancing around it. It was hard enough keeping Sans' secret, adjusting to having her entire perception of reality altered and dealing with regaining these lost memories. Keeping her not so hidden feelings under wraps with all this constant prodding was only more stress she really didn't need right now.

"Papyrus…" She said, expression far more weary than flustered. "Why is it that you want me and your brother to... be together?"

Her lack of a more extreme reaction seemed to surprise the skeleton and his more playful expression dissipated. He blinked at her a few times before seeming to ponder the question.

"W-WOWIE, I WAS NOT EXPECTING YOU TO… ER... WELL..." He trailed off and tapped his glove against his lower jaw.

"I SUPPOSE IT'S SIMPLY BECAUSE… YOU MAKE MY BROTHER HAPPY MS. TORIEL, AND THAT'S NO SMALL FEAT. HE'S NEVER HAD SUCH A CLOSE FRIEND BEFORE, THAT I KNOW OF AT LEAST. YOU WERE THE ONLY OTHER PERSON BESIDES ME THAT HE SEEMED TO REALLY... INVEST TIME INTO YOU KNOW? EVEN WHEN I DIDN'T WHO IT WAS HE WAS SNEAKING OFF TO SEE EVERY DAY."

A fondness made the edges of his sockets crinkle a bit, and his smile softened at the edges. Toriel felt her soul warm slightly as well, somewhat amused at how he had phrased that.

"HE TALKS ABOUT YOU ALL THE TIME YOU KNOW, AND HE SEEMS TO ACTUALLY FEEL MOTIVATED TO DO THINGS WHEN IT INVOLVES YOU. HE TAKES AN ACTIVE INTEREST IN  _YOUR_  INTERESTS AND WANTS TO LEARN THEM. LATELY HE'S REALLY BEEN STRUGGLING MORE THAN USUAL AND I DO NOT KNOW WHY… NOR WOULD HE ADMIT TO ME THE REASON… BUT HE DID TELL ME LAST NIGHT THAT YOU HAVE MADE WHAT HE'S GOING THROUGH EASIER."

Now that did make Toriel's eyes widen a bit, surprised Sans had told his brother that, with what questions that statement could had led to. Regardless, the sentiment behind it made the warmth in her soul increase and her weary eyes softened as her smile grew more genuine. Papyrus clearly noticed, and went on with even more of a grin.

"AND EVEN THOUGH I HAVE NOT KNOWN YOU AS LONG AS MY BROTHER, I SEE THAT BEING WITH HIM MAKES YOU HAPPY AS WELL! YET DESPITE YOUR GROWING AFFECTIONS YOU BOTH CONTINUALLY REFUSE TO TAKE THE NEXT OBVIOUS STEP IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP, WHICH WOULD ONLY INCREASE YOUR HAPPINESS! THAT IS WHY I DECIDED TO SUBTLY ENCOURAGE YOU TWO TO ACT UPON YOUR OBVIOUS ROMANTIC FEELINGS."

She had to bite her lip a bit to keep from laughing at that. "Subtle" indeed. Perhaps by Papyrus standards. He seemed to pick up on her amusement though, and went on with a slightly less bombastic tone. His expression took on some of the same mild irritation that he had often displayed when faced with one of his brother's many, many puns.

"PLUS, YOU ARE PERHAPS THE ONLY OTHER PERSON, MONSTER OR HUMAN, THAT SHARES HIS TERRIBLE SENSE OF HUMOR AND SINCERELY LAUGHS AT HIS JOKES. THAT HAS TO COUNT FOR SOMETHING RIGHT?"

The laugh she'd been holding back escaped then with a snort and she giggled lightly into her paw. Papyrus shook his head a bit with exasperation, but his smile returned.

"I suppose I cannot argue with that." She said, finally gaining a smile that was legitimate.

Papyrus' sockets seemed to sparkle a bit and he leaned forward expectantly.

"SO, YOU'LL TELL HIM OF YOUR FEELINGS? YOU WILL ALLOW THIS SPARK BETWEEN THE TWO OF YOU TO BLAZE FORTH INTO A GREAT INFERNO OF EVERLASTING LOVE?!" He asked excitedly, dramatics on full display.

She blinked then quickly shushed him, feeling her cheeks heat up again and glancing at the door nervously. There was no sign of anyone outside the room and she sighed faintly in relief. She shot a quick look at Flowey as well, expecting another reaction of disgust, but he remained curled up and silent. Now assured no one had heard that outburst, she took a deep breath and composed herself, facing the skeleton again.

"Papyrus... I…" She swallowed, trying to find the right words and thoroughly cursing her exhaustion all the while.

"I do care for your brother deeply, you know that… and… yes… I may indeed have… those sort of feelings for him... But you must understand, my friend, he and I are both struggling with many things right now. Though I feel shame for it, I still have not recovered fully from what happened with Asgore. Such heartache is not easily mended, especially with how long we were together. ... And Sans… he is likely not in the right state of mind to consider something like that right now… It would not be right of me to spring such a thing on him."

She paused, eyes becoming a touch despondent.

"Besides… There is no guarantee that he feels the same way… he may not desire something like a committed relationship, and that is fine. Risking damaging our current relationship would be a terrible misstep on my part. Now is just not the time to fret over such… uncertain things. I hope you understand, my friend."

The disingenuousness of her words made her soul churn a bit as they left her. With her continual bold acts of selfishness on her part in regards to indulging the wishes of her lonely old soul, she really had no right to say any of this. But she couldn't let Papyrus catch on to the fact the two of them were skirting the line between friends and… something more, far more than he realized.

The skeleton stared back at her, looking frustrated but keeping his mouth firmly shut. Perhaps a little too firmly, as though he were struggling to keep himself from saying something. But then he relented with a sigh and frowned in a manner that was almost a pout.

"I DO MS. TORIEL..." He said in a quieter tone. "THOUGH, I MUST SAY, YOU SHOULD NOT GET TOO WRAPPED UP IN DOUBTS OF MY BROTHER'S FEELINGS FOR YOU. I HAVE… QUITE FIRM  _SUSPICIONS_  THAT YOUR WORRIES IN THAT REGARD ARE MOST UNWARRANTED."

There was more of that "Papyrus subtlety" at work and the implications reignited a flutter of somewhat mixed emotions in her soul. She did what she could to ignore them for the moment though, far too tired to give them the proper consideration they deserved. She allowed that spark of warmth to remain in her soul though, letting it quiet her anxieties and give her strength as she had before.

"Alright… I will remember that, my friend, thank you. Just... give it time, okay? When things have settled more for the both of us… There is a chance I will consider the possibility of-"

"REALLY?!" He interrupted her, sockets sparkling again.

Recognizing his inopportune volume though, he shut his mouth with a clack and shot her an apologetic grin. She offered another small, tired smile in reply and nodded as an answer to his question. It seemed more than enough to please Papyrus, who practically vibrated in place as he struggled to contain all his ecstatic emotion.

"WOWIE! THAT'S WONDERFUL! THEN IT IS EVEN MORE IMPERATIVE THAT WE GET YOU BOTH BACK TO BETTER SPIRITS AS SOON AS POSSIBLE!" He said, standing from his chair in a flash. "TO ACCOMPLISH THAT, I DECLARE YOU BOTH SHALL RECEIVE NO LESS THAN THREE GREAT HUGS FROM THE GREAT PAPYRUS A DAY! DOCTOR'S ORDERS!"

With that, she once again found herself wrapped in a hug from the skeleton, squeezed so tight it nearly stole the breath from her lungs. She still managed a somewhat shaky smile though and gave him a thankful squeeze in return.

"V-very well then, I am sure that will be a great help indeed." She managed, voice a bit strained from the lack of air. "Thank you, my friend."

He released her and Toriel tried not to make a show of gasping now that she could breathe again. Papyrus struck a pose as he stepped back, grinning and putting his hands on his hips.

"OF COURSE! IT IS THE LEAST I CAN DO FOR MY DEAR BROTHER, AND MY POTENTIAL "SISTER IN LAW" NYEH HEH HEH!"

She sighed in response to that, but her exasperated smile remained. Oh Stars, did he have to say it like  _that_? She supposed it shouldn't surprise her, given that it was Papyrus, but it still managed to leave her fairly flustered yet again. She cleared her throat in a pointed manner, and the skeleton looked at her sheepishly, bravado fading somewhat. With his attention refocused, she was determined to take over the conversation.

"Anyway…" She cut in, deliberately moving away from the previous topic. "I did want to ask you something too Papyrus, if that is alright with you of course."

He sat down again as dutifully as one of her students, nodding quickly. She worked a smile back on her face, wanting to ensure her question came off as casual as possible.

"You mentioned you spoke with your brother last night. Did everything go alright with that? You were understandably pretty upset when you got home from your trip."

Truthfully she was fishing for any information she could get about that conversation she had picked up on just out of earshot the previous night. Had Sans been able to convince his brother of their ruse, or was there suspicion there like with Flowey? She knew now Sans had said some pretty risky things regarding her role in all this, in an effort to commend her of course, but still perhaps not the most careful approach. In the interest of keeping their stories straight, it would be best if she could find out what else had been discussed.

"YES IT WAS FINE." Papyrus said, thankfully seeming just as casual about the question. "WELL… HE DID TELL ME IN UNNECESSARY DETAIL JUST HOW ILL HE'D BEEN. I SWEAR HE CAN BE SO GROSS SOMETIMES! AND THEN EXPLAINED TO ME THE SPECIFICS ABOUT HOW HE'D BEEN HURT... AND WHAT YOU DID TO HEAL HIM AFTERWARDS… OH! AND HE TOLD ME GB WAS THE ONE WHO MESSED UP OUR BATHROOM!"

That last part made her ears prick up a bit, being that it was the only part that seemed new to her. Papyrus' expression became vaguely irritated and he crossed his arms.

"I'VE TOLD HIM TO KEEP THOSE PESKY BLASTERS IN THE POCKET DIMENSION WHERE THEY BELONG, THEY ARE NOT SAFE! NOT TO MENTION INCREDIBLY RUDE… EVEN IF IT  _WAS_  AN ACCIDENT, HE SHOULD KNOW BETTER NOT TO LET THOSE THINGS LOOSE IN THE HOUSE! I DEARLY APOLOGIZE FOR HIS LACK OF PROPER CONSIDERATION, MS. TORIEL."

She blinked, trying to put the pieces of this together in her mind. So Sans had claimed the damage to the bathroom was GB's doing? That seemed more than a little unfair, given that the blaster had been quite well-behaved and even vitally helpful throughout all this. The poor thing would be terribly saddened to be accused of wrongdoing like this. Though it was likely that Sans had used that excuse in a moment of feeling cornered. Perhaps he had even explained this to his blaster? She'd definitely have to talk to him about it later. Nevertheless, she had to ensure that she walked in step with what he said, so she just gave a small nod in recognition.

"It was only an accident, my friend." She replied with a smile. "GB is a truly kind, if clumsy creature. We have the funds to repair the damages, do try not to be too hard on him."

Papyrus huffed and Toriel saw some nervousness in his expression for a moment before he seemed to will it away.

"I SUPPOSE YOU ARE RIGHT… BUT STILL, HE REALLY SHOULD BE MORE CAREFUL. THOSE BLASTERS… THEIR POWERS ARE NOT SOMETHING TO BE TAKEN LIGHTLY…" He said, in an oddly serious tone.

It sounded quite strange coming from Papyrus of all monsters, much more akin to a tone his brother would use. But he was quick to bounce back to usual self again, deflecting from the topic quickly.

"ANYWAY! ENOUGH OF THAT TALK!" He declared, bringing his gloved hands together. "I HAVE ANOTHER IDEA OF HOW TO HELP YOU GIVEN YOUR CURRENT STATE OF CLEAR FATIGUE!"

He stood up and picked up her schedule from her desk before she could even react, looking it over with narrowed sockets before flashing her a smile.

"I SHALL ASSIST YOU DIRECTLY IN THE CLASSROOM TODAY BY AIDING YOU WITH THE SPEAKING PORTION OF THE LECTURE! I ALREADY THOROUGHLY STUDIED THE TOPICS OF DISCUSSION FOR THIS WEEK AND WITH THE TWO OF US WORKING TOGETHER, SURELY WE CAN MAKE IT MORE INSIGHTFUL FOR THOSE YOUNG MINDS THAN EVER BEFORE!"

In comparison to his rapid fire speech, Toriel's weary mind took a bit to process what he'd said. Once she did though, she blinked in surprise, truly touched by the gesture.

"Oh… really? That is so very kind of you Papyrus. Are you sure? I would not want you to have to neglect your other duties for my sake…" She said, now unable to keep a small smile off her face.

The skeleton beamed and nodded without hesitation, offering a hand to help her up.

"CERTAINLY! I HAVE FINISHED MY APPOINTMENTS FOR THE DAY, JUST HAD A CHAT WITH THE CHILD GOOBERT ABOUT HOW HE CAN RISE ABOVE HIS INCLINATIONS TOWARDS PICKING ON OTHERS TO MAKE UP FOR HIS OWN LACK OF SELF CONFIDENCE WITH PROPER SUPPORT. THE SUPPORT OF THE GREAT PAPYRUS OF COURSE! IT IS NO TROUBLE AT ALL TO ASSIST YOU WITH THIS."

Now standing, she felt her soul swell with gratitude once more. There was a prodding prideful part of her that wanted to reject the help as to not seem weak, but she was far too tired to deny it. Plus, she was enough of a hypocrite as it was. Refusing to accept the help she knew she needed would just be one hypocrisy too far at this point. She gave his hand a thankful squeeze before releasing it.

"Well I thank you then, my friend. I really appreciate it." She said, resting her free hand briefly over her soul.

His smile softened at that and then he, oddly, saluted her as though she were some army general, or a certain former captain of the royal guard. It was a gesture that did not sit all that well with her, well meaning as it was. She did not like being reminded of her past royal status, it came with too many memories and old sorrows for her liking. The brief moment of somberness that gripped her then drove her to again look at Flowey, who still had yet to say a word since their own discussion earlier.

He was curled in the same position he had been, face hidden beneath drooping petals. She knew not if he truly slept or simply had lost the will to interact with them. Either way, it brought an small pang of confused emotion to her soul. Papyrus followed her gaze and looked as though he wished to say something to the flower monster upon looking at him. But as his mouth opened, he seemed to think better of it and shut it again, expression difficult to read. He then shook his head and shot her another grin before leaving her side and beginning to move the desks back to their proper places.

The task was completed so quickly that Toriel barely had enough time to formulate what she wanted to say next before he had finished, reflecting back on that earlier uneasy feeling as she spoke.

"Oh… and Papyrus?"

He paused in response, resting his hands on the chair of the last desk he'd returned to the rows.

"YES, MS. TORIEL?"

She offered a smile that was more bittersweet than before, but still mostly legitimate. Her tone softened as she went on, adjusting her glasses as she did.

"You do not have to call me that." She said. "I am Ms. Toriel to my students. You are my family, you can... just call me Toriel if you would like."

That seem to take Papyrus by surprise, and his grin faltered somewhat as though he wasn't sure about the idea. It was likely that, like many monsters, detaching from his image of her as a figure of authority was difficult. But eventually he nodded, smiling brightly once more.

"OKAY THEN TORIEL! SOUNDS GREAT TO ME! NOW LET'S GET READY TO ASSIGN THAT READING ASSIGNMENT! I CAN HANDLE THE MAIN PORTION OF THAT NO PROBLEM!" He declared, moving back to her side.

Again, a wonderful warmth surrounded her soul, making her scarlet eyes shine slightly. With everything that had happened today, from her friends' displays of thoughtfulness, Frisk's attempt to cheer her up after her discussion with Asgore, this enlightening talk with Papyrus and even the conclusion of her confrontation with Flowey… It all made her feel as though she had gained love, the good kind. After living alone for so long and losing everyone in her family one way or another, it had been a very long time indeed since she'd felt that way. Those feelings mixed with her exhaustion nearly wanted to bring tears to her eyes again, but she funneled them into a newfound spark of energy instead, giving the skeleton a nod.

"Yes, let's do it my friend." She said with more confidence, with a rare contraction leaving her lips as well.

With that, the two of them set to work preparing the next lecture of the day, returning to a more normal routine and forgetting their heavier discussion for the time being.

The rest of the school day went by in somewhat of a haze for her. With Papyrus' help, she was able to get through the final lectures of the day, allowing the skeleton to take over for her enough to keep herself from becoming potentially overwhelmed with exhaustion. It became more and more clear as the hours stretched on that her friend's help was more of a potential necessity then she had previously considered. By the stars she was just so…  _tired_.

Some of the more attentive students seemed to notice too, sending glances her way that were full of concern or confusion. But she managed to finish off the day's lessons and assign the week's homework without a hitch. Some part of her worried it was partially due to her poor state that even the more occasionally rowdy and disruptive students were on their best behavior, as though out of sympathy for her. By the time the school's bell rang and signaled the school day's end, she was about ready to pass out where she stood. Not unlike how Sans did now that she thought about it, though she doubted she would be able to remain on her feet while asleep like he could.

Her eyes felt painfully heavy as she waved goodbye to the last student at the front entrance. A small Whimsun child named Vim, who had been waiting with Toriel and Papyrus for their parents to fetch them at the front steps. Now they were fluttering off alongside two Whimsalots, offering a shy wave back to her before they all flew away. Assured then that the students were all safely seen off, she sluggishly turned to head back inside, intending to straighten up the classroom and meet with the staff before she departed like she always did. But Frisk and Papyrus stepped in front of her, blocking her way. She stopped, looking between the two of them in confusion.

"TORIEL, I INSIST YOU HEAD HOME NOW AND GET SOME REST." Papyrus said, crossing his arms firmly. "I WILL BE HAPPY TO FINISH UP THINGS HERE."

Frisk nodded in agreement, holding Flowey's pot against their chest. The flower monster inside still refused to meet her gaze, hanging over slightly so that his petals hid his face. He had kept up his silence for the rest of the school day, driving Toriel to feel more true concern for him. But Frisk had not seemed surprised by his sudden sullen behavior when they'd returned to the classroom. That struck her as somewhat odd, but it lessened her anxiety regarding the flower monster as well.

Even though she wanted nothing more than to just agree with them and head home, she couldn't help but feel bad about all the trouble Papyrus and the others were going through at her expense. So some of her stubbornness remained, driving her to press forward.

"I appreciate your concern you two, but you have already done more than enough for me today. I can handle locking up at least." She said, cursing the strain leaking into her voice.

Both of them looked a little less confident at that, not usually ones to openly disobey her, but held their ground regardless. Exhaustion born frustration wished to sharpen her tone in response, but she controlled it as best she could.

"Come now, stand aside, there is no need for this. I will be fine." She said in a slightly harder voice.

The two shared a nervous glance, and she could tell her order was close to withering their resolve. Before they cracked and heeded her words though, another voice spoke up, slightly startling them all.

"Go home Toriel." It said, and her eyes were drawn downward to see it had come from Flowey.

He drew himself up a bit, finally facing her with a dull expression. She could see some of her own mental weariness in his small black eyes.

"You look like you're going to keel over any second now." The flower monster grumbled. "Stop being an idiot and go rest before you make even more of a fool of yourself than usual."

Toriel blinked down a him in surprise, his words working their way through her weary mind for a moment. They were harsh as always but… somehow seemed to her like some form of… concern? At least the most that would pass for concern coming from Flowey. It confused her deeply, not helped by her current poor state, but it still was enough to snap her out of her posturing and see the reality of his words. He was right of course, and they all knew it. She sighed and crossed her arms.

"Very well then, I see i have been outvoted here…" She sighed, closing her eyes briefly before glancing at Frisk. "Will you and Flowey be coming back with me then? Or would you like to stay here until Papyrus goes home?"

Her child met her question by reaching up and tugging on Papyrus' scarf, prompting the skeleton to lay a hand on their head.

"I MAY HAVE PROMISED TO TAKE FRISK TO GET NICECREAM IF THEY ASSISTED ME WITH LOCKUP DUTIES." Papyrus admitted with a somewhat sheepish grin. "I WILL TAKE THEM BOTH STRAIGHT HOME AFTERWARDS TORIEL, OF COURSE."

An exasperated little smile appeared at her face at that. There they went again, conspiring in secret in regards to her. It wasn't something she could truly reprimand without once more acknowledging her own hypocrisy, but it still vexed her even so. Now that Papyrus was aware of her feelings regarding his brother, she could only imagine what kind of potential mischief they may get up to. She knew he wouldn't divulge what she'd told him to her child, nor do anything too drastic, but she doubted he had the self control to cease his prodding completely. Defeated, for better or worse, she gave a small nod.

"Alright, have fun then, text me if you need anything or if anything comes up with the others, okay Papyrus?"

The skeleton gave her a dramatic thumbs up and ruffled Frisk's hair a bit with his other hand.

"YOU GOT IT!" He assured her, before turning to look back down at the human child and Flowey.

"ALRIGHT YOU TWO LET'S GET TO WORK TIDYING THIS PLACE UP FOR TOMORROW, OKAY?"

Frisk nodded with an affirmative sound, but Flowey just shot one last long glance at Toriel before settling back in his pot with an irritated groan.

"Whatever…" Was his only verbal reply.

With that, Frisk and Papyrus said their goodbyes to her and headed back inside. The great black doors shut with a deep, resounding noise, leaving her alone outside. She lingered for a few moments, gazing up at the insignia of the delta rune on the doors. The soft spring breeze ruffling her fur and dress snapped her out of her momentary trance and began the walk back to the van, willing up enough energy within her to safely drive herself home.

Thankfully, their home's location outside of Newer Home's main center meant that there was little traffic to worry about. The drive went by in somewhat of a blur, and she found herself parked at home before she even seemed to realize it. She trudged up the driveway and opened the door, feeling heavier with fatigue by the second. It was only a little past three in the afternoon but she felt like she had just endured an entire week of school days already. Once again, it seemed her loved one's concerns were right after all.

It made negative emotions boil within her soul once again, but her own weariness kept them from truly taking hold. Once inside, she kicked the door closed behind her with a foot and headed straight for the living room. She didn't even want to make the trek to her own bed at this point, she just wanted to head to the nearest acceptable sleeping location and collapse, making the couch her current target. She was so wrapped up in that mission, she nearly didn't notice the couch's other occupants until she was right in front of it.

"h-hey, tori…" Sans said looking up at her with a somewhat surprised expression. "you're… back early."

His voice and the sight of him snapped her back to the present and she finally took in the scene before her. Sans was sitting against on the couch under one of her throw blankets, remote in hand. He definitely looked a lot better than he had last night, eyelights fairly bright and his signature grin looking rather genuine as he gazed up at her. Two empty pie tins sat on the coffee table, along with a bottle of ketchup.

She could hear the sounds of a news broadcast coming from the tv behind her, going on about "concerns" regarding monsters potentially moving into high class human neighborhoods. But what was most surprising to see was that a familiar small white dog was sitting on Sans' lap, tail wagging wildly at the sight of her. She blinked then forced her mouth to work again, meeting the skeleton's gaze.

"Oh, sorry Sans… I… Yes, I am back early." She said, hating how absent and weary she sounded. "Good to see you looking better…"

Her eyes drifted back to the dog and he let out a single happy bark.

"I see we have a… guest."

Sans' grin widened at that and he gave the pup a scratch behind the ear.

"yah sorry, he kinda just… showed up when i dozed off earlier. woke up to this little rascal's tongue all over my face. didn't have the heart to kick him out." He said, eyelights shining with amusement as the dog's eyes closed in contentment.

She was unsure how to feel about the animal's presence in her home. He had gained the nickname "The Annoying Dog" for a reason after all, he tended to get up to all kinds of mischief around Newer Home. He also had a strange tendency to appear without warning and disappear just as quickly, no matter the location. She remembered well how he had stolen and presumably eaten her phone back in the Underground, despite there being no real way for a dog to get into the Ruins. He was a strange one, that was for sure. But Sans did seem happy for the animal's presence, so she decided there was no harm in letting him stay for now. She didn't have the energy to protest much anyway.

Sans clearly noticed her poor state and scooted over on the couch a bit, patting the cushions beside him. He kept a grin on his face, but she could see concern in the lights of his eyes. She didn't need any further invitation. Without a word, she all but fell back onto the couch. Relief flooded through her the moment she relaxed into the plush cushions and her eyes fell shut almost immediately. They fluttered back open though when Sans' voice spoke up from her side, and she felt his hand rest cautiously against her arm.

"hey... you alright tori? you look exhausted…" He said, moving a little closer and laying part of the blanket over her lap.

Stars above, she really didn't want to try and have another conversation right now. She just wanted to let sleep take her, strange nightmare memories be damned. But upon turning her head to look at him, she felt some strength return to her soul, washing over it like a wave of cool water. Though it was a struggle, she pushed herself up a bit to face him and managed a weak smile.

"I am just… very worn out…" She admitted, sluggishly leaning forward to set her purse on the coffee table in front of them. "A  _lot_  happened today… and on top of everything else I am afraid I am rather drained at this point. I apologize for my lack of a... proper greeting."

Sans' grin waned a bit at that and she could see traces of guilt in his eyelights again. As she settled back against the couch, she was surprised when he hesitantly moved towards her to rest his hand against her forehead. She blinked in surprise, but then her smile warmed a bit in amusement, realizing what he was doing.

"I am not sick, Sans." She assured him, weary eyes shining a bit. "The universe is not proving to be quite  _that_  ironic yet, thankfully."

That placated him somewhat and he pulled his hand back with a small grin, resting it back on the dog's head again.

"yah well, can't blame me for checking." He said with a small shrug of his shoulders. "still, sorry to hear that you had such a  _ruff_ day."

He said that last part while squishing the dog's cheeks, resulting in quite an amusing look on the canine's face. Toriel let out a short, soft peal of laughter, sounding somewhat hoarse. Sans' smiled back in response, but then his expression slowly sobered up, concern returning noticeably.

"seriously though tori, you shouldn't push yourself so hard, especially… right now, y'know?" He murmured, eyelights dulling slightly and looking away. "you said it yourself, we are both going to be "struggling" for a while…"

Toriel just nodded, too tired to really argue. Being reminded of the terrible burden they both shared only made the urge to pass out all the worse, so she did her best not to focus on it. There were things she should be telling him right now, but just the mere idea of trying to properly explain it all made her eyes threaten to fall shut again. When she didn't offer any verbal reply, Sans glanced back towards the direction front door, as though expecting to see someone. When he didn't, he turned back to her with a somewhat questioning look.

"did you… come back by yourself?" He asked, as the dog stepped off his lap and climbed over into hers.

She nodded again, smile strengthening as she gently rubbed the animal's small head with her large paw. The dog playfully nibbled at her fur, wiggling all over from the attention. She supposed she could see why Sans enjoyed his company so much.

"lemme guess, my bro made you go home early, huh?" He asked, a knowing gleam to his eyelights.

This time she forced herself to speak her reply, feeling all the nodding was making her look ridiculous.

"Yes, he and the others were quite aware of my fatigue. Despite my efforts to keep it under wraps." She paused as a yawn escaped her, covering her mouth with her paw as it did. "He insisted I go home and rest while he locked up for the day. He really was a wonderful help though, it is thanks to him everything ran smoothly in the end. He even decided to take the children for nicecream afterwards. I certainly owe him for it all."

Sans' smile grew warmer, fondness showing in the lights of his eyes. He scooted over closer and leaned against her a bit before replying, prompting a fluttery reaction from her soul. She tried not to let it show on her face, well aware that her weary state may hinder her attempts at restraining those feelings. Not to mention it brought her conversation with Papyrus back to the forefront of her mind and all that had entailed. If he noticed her reaction to his actions, he didn't show it, going on without missing a beat.

"sounds like my bro alright. that guy really is the coolest." He said fondly, before looking up at her again.

He seemed to recognize now all the inner turmoil she was feeling at the moment, perhaps seeing it reflected in her eyes. His expression turned sympathetic and he pressed a little closer, suddenly looking rather tired as well.

"we can uh… talk about the other stuff that happened later, i'm gonna have to agree with my bro and say you should snooze for awhile. don't worry about it for now okay?"

His insistence fell on somewhat deaf ears, as the other major conversation she'd had came back to her then. Flowey's cruel, mocking voice seemed to echo within her mind, sending a faint chill down her spine. Sans clearly noticed and she could feel tension beginning to grip his body.

"unless... it was something… really bad?"

She could hear the nervousness and touch of guilt in his tone, and Flowey's voice only seemed to raise in volume inside her head. Even though the flower monster had said he had no intention of telling Frisk what he had figured out, it didn't lessen the anxiety she felt over the situation very much. Telling him about her conversation with Papyrus could wait, Sans deserved to know about Flowey at the very least, even if it hurt him... She swallowed hard, praying she could deliver this news properly.

"Flowey... he… he was able to see through our ruse… He knows that I… know about the resets." She rasped, curling her claws into her dress.

Sans froze and his eyelights shrank to mere pinpricks of light, clearly not at all ready to hear something like  _that._ Seeing him look so distraught, even for a moment, made her soul feel as though it were being squeezed and she was quick to continue before he grew too distressed.

"I-it is okay Sans…" She said, wrapping an arm gently around him. "H-he said he has no intention of telling Frisk. And I know it is hard to believe… but I know he meant it. He…"

She paused, worrying her lip with her fangs. Oh stars, if only her mind didn't feel like it was in a fog at the moment.

"He was… trying to tell me about what… the things he did to you back then. Gloating I suppose... I made him stop though, kind of lost my temper actually... and I managed to get him to see reason somewhat. I... I told him what you asked of me… to not turn my back on him and Frisk… and that seemed to bring out something in him I have not seen before… I think it actually meant a lot to him."

Sans blinked up at her, relaxing by degrees but still remaining rather rigid. The fear in his eyelights remained, though it was tempered a bit by confusion now. Toriel kept talking, feeling bad she was preventing him from weighing in on all this but knowing she had to get it all out before her exhaustion made it impossible to continue.

"I am so very sorry Sans, this was my fault. I… I was not able to hide all the stress this has been causing me, and he already had suspicions from the beginning apparently. If you are angry with me for this… I understand. But please do not let this worry you too deeply. Flowey told me he had no desire for Frisk to reset either... and again, I know he meant it... please believe that. He will not cause everything to reset… okay?"

Ugh, if her mother had heard that pathetic excuse for a speech she would have given her quite the tongue lashing. Stars, why did this have to be happening when she was  _so tired_? She may of just sent Sans back into another spiral of panic and she wasn't in the proper state of mind to properly console him. Her head spun. trying to find something, _anything_  else she could say to make this better, but it all just resulted in a splitting headache.

"tori…" Sans' small voice snapped her out of her brief reverie, drawing her attention back to him.

He still looked mildly distressed, but not nearly as much as she had expected. And there was no anger in the lights of his eyes, only a bitter mix of fearful and concerned emotions. He gripped her arm that was looped around him with one of of his hands, drawing in an uneven breath before speaking again. Even the dog let out a soft, concerned whine, laying down in her lap with a soft plop.

"i... i believe you. it's alright… i'm not... mad." He said, voice suddenly quiet. "it isn't your fault... i shoulda known that... kid... would figure it out. he knows us all better than we know ourselves at this point…heh..."

That last part caused him to shudder, and if Toriel wasn't so tired she may have done the same. She tightened her grip on him slightly and he pressed back against her at the same time. It was a small gesture that quieted her anxieties for the moment and let her focus what little energy she had into what was important here, ensuring that he was okay. With how much better he'd seemed today, it was even more painful to see him slip back into that unstable, fearful state, even if it wasn't nearly as bad as before.

"but if you say he really won't… won't threaten all this… then i believe you. i owe you that much for all you've accepted as truth from me." He murmured, voice evening out more as he did. "plus... it isn't fair to expect you to be on my level with the whole poker face thing y'know?"

He managed a small, forced grin at that, before letting it slowly fall again. Toriel wanted to say something, but her mind was moving too sluggishly. By the time she began to find the words, he was already continuing on.

"if… if it's just flowey for now… it will probably be okay..." He said softly, seemingly more to himself than to her. "still… i might not want to be around that guy for a while… especially if..."

He shut his sockets briefly, before looking back up at her with a nervous, weary expression.

"h-how much... did he tell you?" He asked, voice shaking ever so slightly.

Toriel blinked at the question, and then her eyes grew heavy with heartache. Her soul clenched up inside her as she pictured in her mind the tortures Flowey had put her dear skeleton through, the apathy and brokenness the child's actions had driven him to. Her expression must have been answer enough to his question, because his sockets went dark and he looked away with another shudder.

In the silence that followed, she still failed to find the right words, but she could always rely on her instincts for situations like this. Slowly, as to ensure he was okay with it, she pulled him close into as much of a hug as she could manage, resting her cheek on the top of his skull. The dog cuddled up into the embrace as well, oddly somber and quiet. The guilt she felt from his soul was overpowering, the guilt of a monster who'd once been driven into such a state of despair, he had watched his loved ones die without any will to even attempt to stop it.

All the words she'd been stockpiling through her haze of exhaustion finally escaped her then, as she held him close to her and tried to offer him comfort through both her words and the weakened magic flowing from her soul.

"I am so sorry, dear…" She murmured in a strained voice. "It was not your fault… please, remember that… no one could have possibly kept up hope in such a situation… no one could have kept fighting for so long, with no end in sight.  _No one,_  Sans. We would all like to claim we would, but any soul would be driven to apathy if subjected to what you were. It is not fair to hate yourself for what happened then, it does not reflect who you truly are. It was  _not your fault_."

The words came easier that time, love and concern giving her energy where all else would fail. She was still forever unsatisfied with what her words could accomplish though, wishing more than anything they could heal the metaphorical and quite literal cracks in his soul, like her magic could heal his physical wounds. But ailments of the mind could not be conquered with any sort of healing magic or medicine.

When faced with such a magnitude of suffering, all that one could really offer was their condolences that they ever had to endure such a thing, and a promise to remain by their side. It was all beyond her understanding, as she herself would never know the true horrors of what he'd lived through. Despite the lack of power her words had to heal, she still felt they needed to be said, for it was almost certain he had never heard them before.

Sans did not say anything for some time, and Toriel had to actively fight with every fragment of energy she had left not to fall asleep right then and there, head pillowed on his skull. It was his soul that ultimately let her know how he had taken her words. The guilt was still there, along with some vague shock and disbelief, but more than those was a building feeling of gratitude… and the now unmistakable feeling of love, warm and wonderful like a cozy fire on a cold night. Those feelings told her what he could not say with words, and she returned that warmth without question, too tired to really consider restraining it.

"i... i don't think i can just… a-accept that as true." he admitted at last, shakily. "but... thank you tori… i don't know why you b-believe in me so much, but... thank you… i-i'm sorry… i don't know what to say…"

With that, he fell into silence again, tightening his grip on her arm. Toriel, somewhat delirious at this point, leaned over and sleepily nuzzled his cheekbone without even thinking about it. She felt wetness there as she did so, and it caused another dull ache in her soul, but her weary mind was still too caught up in working on a response to really acknowledge it.

"Nonsense, you are more than worth believing in, dear. You have a skele- _ton_  of people who love you and would agree as well. Do not, uh… let Flowey's cruel remarks… um…  _rib_  you the wrong way.

Despite it all he let out a soft legitimate chuckle at that, wiping idly at his sockets with his free hand. Though his amusement seemed to be more for her increasingly delirious demeanor rather than her clumsy puns. The dog even tilted his head at her, as though perplexed by her behavior.

"geez t, you've really  _goat_  to get some sleep." He said, smiling weakly through a bit of sniffle. "you are getting loopy at this point."

She shot him a bit of a flat look through half-lidded eyes.

 _"Loopy? What does he mean loopy?_   _Is that supposed to be a pun?"_ She thought, among other such ramblings of a similar caliber.

She blinked in vague surprise when he carefully stood up then, easing out from under her arm and laying it back at her side. Her eyes drifted over to him with a bit of a concerned look, but he was quick to ease her worries.

"give me a sec, just grabbing something real quick." He said, giving her head a pat.

It felt strange for him to do that, for anyone to do that really. She had not had her head patted since she was a child, and given that she was so tall, it never happened now that she was grown. Maybe it was only because she was so out of it, but it felt… nice. All of those years of isolation may have indeed left her a little touch starved.

She may have dozed off for a few moments, because it seemed to her he had reappeared in front of her after a single blink. He was carrying a large pillow from one of the other chairs, and he laid it against the armrest of the couch.

"come on tori, you should lay down." He said, patting the pillow with a soft smile. "you'll be more com _fur_ table that way."

It was an offer she was happy to accept, moving over to flop down against the pillow, unable to keep her eyes from falling shut. She mumbled out a thanks as she did so, but it wasn't very coherent. The skeleton's soft wheeze of laughter met her ears then, a sound that sent her weary soul all a flutter again. The dog trotted over and cuddled up against her side, and she sleepily gave him a grateful pet, eyes remaining closed.

She was somewhat surprised when she felt Sans gently take off her glasses and heard him set them on the coffee table. Her eyes fluttered back open to see him standing in front of her, the image hazy from exhaustion that wanted so badly to claim her. But somehow, another burning question rose in her throat, and she forced it out before the urge to sleep stole the will to speak from her completely.

"Sans…" She murmured in a rather hoarse voice, taking him by surprise. "why... why  _did_  you ask me to not give up on Flowey… when he had done so much to you? When he is responsible for so much of your suffering? I can somewhat understand it with Frisk… but why... that flower?"

Her blurry vision of him meant she couldn't tell exactly how he was taking her question, but she could hear him drum his phalanges against the edge of the couch and the soft sigh that escaped him before he spoke again.

"i'm sure he didn't tell you his true origins, but there is… more to that kid than meets the eye. things that, as i said, i can't be the one to tell you…" He said, voice dull.

There was a pause, and she could practically feel his indecision about what he wished to say next, as well as hear his bones rattle as he lightly shuddered.

"but... also because…" He went on, in a quieter, more pained tone. "i was one mistake away from becoming just like him tori, or pretty damn close at least. there was a time when i was a kid, back in ol g's lab… where i had the chance to absorb the human souls that been collected. and i wanted to do it, to make my father pay for what he'd done, to ruin his plans just to spite him. i didn't end up doing it of course… thinking about pap was what stopped me. but if i had gone through with it… well… i can only imagine what that kind of power would have done to me… mixing a vengeful child's mind with the form and abilities of a god..."

He trailed off after that, lost in thought and she could vaguely make out a forlorn expression on his face. The words settled into her mind and she attempted to reflect on their significance. But then she yawned again, her eyes falling shut against her will. She was too tired to focus anymore. Another weary chuckle came from Sans and she felt him pull the blanket over her and the dog a little more.

"but uh… let's save that story for another day…" He said, sounding relieved to abandon the subject. "you should really get some sleep now. i'll talk to the others when they get here so don't worry about that." He said, and she heard the shuffle of slippers as he stepped back.

Subconsciously, she reached out and searched for him with an outstretched paw.

"Sans…" She all but mumbled, unable to force her eyes open again at this point. "will you not... stay?"

There was a pause, and then she felt him take her paw in both his hands and give it a light squeeze before tucking it back under the blanket. She was then faintly aware of him at her side again, speaking near where her head was resting.

"yah… course i'll stay, tori..." He said, sounding somewhat surprised and a touch flustered at her request. He quickly regained his usual casual tone though. "i'm not the kinda guy to uh... refuse a chance to nap after all… heh"

The laugh that left him then was somewhat forced, but the sentiments behind it all were not. A small smile appeared on her face as she felt him begin to climb up on the couch.

It was large enough that he was able to sit beside her once she had mindfully pressed herself against the back cushions. He sat back against the armrest and settled in under the blanket at her side, letting her tuck her arm around his waist. She weakly pulled him close, resting her forehead against his side and feeling the stirred emotions flowing from his soul. If she had been more present minded at that moment, she would have picked up on how flustered and faintly amused he was feeling at the whole situation, but all her dwindling focus could hone in on was that wonderful warm feeling of love.

After a few moments, she felt his phalanges begin to run gently through the fur on her head, careful not to let the joints of them snag any of the thick white hairs as he did so. They swept slowly between her horns and along the top tips of her ears, causing them to twitch ever so slightly. It all felt so very nice… Her previous thought corrected itself then, she definitely  _was_  touch starved, for sure. She lavished affection on others, it was just who she was, but she was very rarely the receiver of such affection herself.

Something like a soft purr escaped her as he continued, a sound that was normal for boss monsters but not quite so normal for her anymore. If she hadn't been slipping into sleep as it happened, she would have never allowed herself to do such a thing. But she truly felt loved and at peace in that moment, with no anxious thoughts to keep her mind awake. Not even the fear of the returning memories that sleep would surely bring could ail her then. She finally drifted off, taking comfort from the feeling of her dear skeleton's soul nearby.

Both were asleep by the time the others got home, Sans still sitting up with his arm looped around her head and Toriel laying down with her arm around him. The dog was curled up between them, ears and tail twitching occasionally in his sleep. It was likely that Sans had intended to leave once Toriel was asleep to avoid any unwanted questions from the others, but in the end he had stayed where he was, perhaps simply unable to make himself go back on his word. Neither of them were aware of how Frisk and Papyrus smiled at the scene once they arrived or how they had laid the blanket more properly over the two of them, trying to contain their giggles.

They also didn't see Flowey watching them from where he'd been temporarily placed on the coffee table. If they had, they likely would have been surprised to find he was no longer looking upon this sign of their increasingly close relationship with scorn and disgust. Instead he simply stared with a rather blank, unreadable expression, his eyes especially locked onto Toriel's sleeping form.

No, during all that, Toriel was already becoming lost in another memory that had been stolen from her, and all she could do was let it unfold and see what secrets it wished to reveal to her.

 

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Some lovely fanart was made for this chapter by the wonderfully talented  **evillovebunny500.** ([DA Link](https://smasherlovesbunny500.deviantart.com/art/All-These-Broken-Pieces-Ch-16-Hazy-724618147?ga_submit_new=10%3A1515522247)) Check them out! ^^

 

 

 

 


	17. Red Eyes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay I finished it! \\(*w*)/ holidays were absolutely hectic and I did not have much time to write, but i'm back now~ Hope you all had happy holidays if you celebrated and have a happy New Year ^^ This was a chapter I've been wanting to work on for a while. Hope you enjoy~ 
> 
> (Warnings for this chapter: Implied/Referenced self harm, Discussion of self harm/self harm scars, Mentions of child abuse.)

This dream faded in slowly, like a drop of ink falling into clear water. Toriel's senses seem to take an equally long time to really come to her, becoming functional one at a time. First hearing, revealing itself with a murmur of familiar but still not quite distinguishable voices. Then touch, she was holding something, no, _someone_ in her arms… they were stiff and trembling. Finally sight, and with it returned all her other senses, unveiling the scene she had entered in full. She took it in, mind somewhat in a daze, but quickly becoming more and more alert as realization set in.

She was sitting in one of the rooms of her old castle home in the Underground, a sitting area just off of the main entranceway. It was a room that she and Asgore had once used to host small gatherings of important monsters, or those who were particularly close to them. The regal decor had once been an everyday sight to her, now it felt almost alien after everything that had transpired. But that couldn't hold her focus for long, as an acutely familiar voice spoke up from her side. A voice she hadn't heard in over a century, a voice she knew so well, it could very well be considered part of her soul itself.

"Mom, where is he?" The voice asked, and her head turned of its own accord to see none other than her son Asriel looking up at her, with a slightly disgruntled pout on his face. The same sort of pout she'd seen from Flowey earlier.

In that moment, she realized who it was she was holding in her arms as well, recognizing the feeling of their incredibly powerful soul. So powerful it made hers fell small and dull in comparison.

_Chara…_

Asriel spoke up again before her mind could even catch up with everything that was happening.

"And why did I have to come again?" He asked, crossing his arms and sliding down on the fancy plush couch they were both sitting on.

It was such a normal gesture, something that only prompted a light chuckle from her physical self. But the Toriel inside could not be more distraught.

Oh stars above, seeing her son's face… hearing him speak again… it was almost too much for her. And on top of all that... the last time she had held Chara had been when she carried their cold, empty corpse to their final resting place, beneath the same hole in the mountain roof they had fallen from. But now she could feel their soul… vibrant, powerful and  _alive._ Had she not been trapped in this dream she may have very well broken down due to it all. But the only thing it could do was ruthlessly tear at her soul as the dream's events continued on, oblivious to her grief and sorrow.

"Now Asriel dear, I told you, I wanted to ask Doctor Gaster to have a look at Chara's… wounds." She heard herself say, pausing noticeably before that last word, and letting it escape just above a whisper. "I figured you could use a quick check up too while we were at it."

Her son raised a brow at her in confusion, a sentiment reflected in his soft green eyes, just like her father's.

"Don't we have like, an actual royal doctor though? The panther lady?" He questioned her, swinging his feet a bit as they dangled off the couch.. "Why are you asking a scientist?"

Toriel was still so consumed by her reignited old anguish that she could hardly bare to focus on what was being said. But in that moment, she realized that this was indeed a memory that had been lost to her in its entirety, unlike the only partial change like with the one with her parents. She had no recollection of this, but did have some idea of what her dream self meant by "Chara's wounds" and it made her shudder. And there was that name again... Doctor Gaster.

"Well… He is one of the only monsters who has first-hand knowledge about humans and how their souls work. Mrs. Gheera is a wonderful doctor, but she only knows about helping monsters. I wanted to get Dr. Gaster's opinion before anything else." Her physical self said, a bit hesitantly. "It is relevant to his… current studies."

With those last two words, bitterness crept into her tone somewhat and she felt her arms tighten around Chara, who remained silent but continued to lightly tremble. Asriel frowned a bit more, but fell silent and listed against her side. Her son then began to talk softly to the human child in her arms, tone far gentler.

"Don't worry Chara, I'm sure it won't hurt or anything. Mom said it will be quick, and then we can go home and finish that big drawing we were doing, okay?

She, thankfully, glanced down at Chara in that moment, allowing Toriel to finally see them. Well most of them anyway. They still had their face hidden against the crook of her neck, but her soul practically shuddered at the sight of their familiar soft brown hair and their favorite green shirt with the pale yellow stripe. The child didn't answer at first, still trembling just enough to be noticed. Then finally, they croaked out a reply. It sent the same spike of terrible pain and joy through her, but she did her best to pay attention, if only to relish in her dear lost children's presences while she could.

"I don't like that guy…" Chara muttered darkly. "and I don't need help."

Both Toriel and Asriel frowned at that, and she could feel her soul stir with uneasiness. She gave the child a light squeeze and nuzzled the top of their head, slightly mussing their hair.

"I know you do not like people looking at them sweetheart." She soothed, voice heavy. " But I just want to be sure that I can tend to them properly, he might know what I have been doing wrong. My last few attempts have not worked as well I would have liked... The doctor is… He is a friend, Chara. It will… be okay."

The children likely didn't pick up on the hesitance in her voice, but the Toriel inside could feel her soul thrumming with unease as she spoke. Clearly she wasn't as sure about this as she was trying to make it seem. And the Toriel observing all this had to agree, what was she thinking? From what she knew of Doctor Gaster, she would never allow him anywhere near  _any_  child, especially not her own. But after a moment where she was consumed by confused anger at her own actions, she had to remember what was happening here.

This was  _before_  Sans and Papyrus were created, before the human souls had been collected, before any of the events that shaped her current dark image of the former royal scientist. This version of herself in this dream… memory… would be highly unlikely to know of the doctor's true colors. Still, she was still unsure about this for some reason, and the Toriel inside could only wait to see why. She had a very bad feeling about this.

Any potential response from Chara was interrupted as the door across the room opened and a now familiar figure stepped inside, the ever loathed doctor himself. But something was different now… The terrible sensation she usually endured when looking at him was… lessened. She could make out some of his features now, and looking at him only resulted in a minor feeling of dizziness. Still, it was like peering down at a reflection through swirling water, the image shifting in and out of focus.

From what she could manage to grasp, he appeared to be a rather aged skeleton with a similar skull shape to Papyrus, but with slightly larger eye sockets a bit more like Sans', complete with visible eyelights. The family resemblance was certainly there. He was donning a small pair of glasses and was dressed in a long black cloak with a what looked to be a white turtleneck underneath. He regarded them all with a rather flat expression for a few moments, the sight made all the more unsettling by her continually distorting image of him. Part of her honestly wished she could return to when she could hardly perceive him at all. Even with the pain and disorientation it brought, it was better than having to vaguely see his face.

Part of her felt that seeing him in some clarity should have triggered something in her, like a rush of returning memories or at least some form of recollection… but all was she felt was something akin to a headache. She felt herself stand then, holding Chara close. Asriel followed along beside her, lightly gripping at the side of her dress.

"Greetings Wingdings." Toriel said, wearing a smile she could tell was somewhat forced. "Thank you for agreeing to do this on such short notice."

It was hard to tell, but it seemed to her that Dr. Gaster met her words without any shift in emotion. He just stared flatly at her as they approached and then at Chara before producing the same hand shaped bullets over his head to sign with that he had in her other dream.

(Of course, my queen.) He signed simply, nodding towards a large table in the center of the room. (Please, set the human there.)

Chara stiffened in her arms a bit, and she ran a comforting paw down their back with a gentle murmured reassurance in their ear. They seemed to reluctantly relax again then, allowing her to set them on the dark wooden table once they had all reached it. Though they did continue to cling to her sleeve with one hand, something she was more than happy to allow. At that moment, she finally got to see her child's face. Two sets of scarlet eyes met and it tore open her old wounds all over again.

The human child looked up at her with a hard expression, but there was a tinge of fear in their eyes. Toriel couldn't help but take in the sight of them. That little frown that had almost always been on their face, if they weren't sporting their usual forced smile. Their ruddy cheeks, making them look as though they always had a bit of a blush on their face. Their messy brown hair, so very much like Frisk's, if a bit lighter in color. All of it so familiar yet so distant, like staring at a photo from a time unremembered.

_Oh stars, she had missed them both so much…_

Her soul ached from a million different emotions, and she wanted nothing more to just stare at her lost child forever, hold on to them with all her might and keep them from ever being taken from her ever again. But this vision was just that, a vision, a memory, a dream, and she could only be a helpless witness as it continued on.

"This will only take a few minutes, my child." She said sweeping her paw gently through their hair and pressing a little kiss to their forehead. "And if you behave for the doctor, you may have an extra slice of chocolate cake once we are done here."

That prompted a small sparkle in the child's eyes, a sight that made the dream Toriel giggle softly. Chocolate had always proved a worthwhile incentive for Chara. Even with the offer of the treat though, it was clear they still carried a good deal of tension in their body. They shot Dr. Gaster a wary, distrusting look as the skeleton moved closer. The Toriel observing could hardly blame them. If Sans was any indication of how this monster treated children, their fears were more than justified. And she wanted to bash her own head in for how foolish she herself was acting.

_By the stars, if it turned out this damned scum had hurt her child..._

(Show me the wounds you wish for me to have a look at.) He signed to Toriel, still eerily stone faced when she could make out his expression.

Out of the corner of her physical self's eye, she glimpsed Asriel frowning at the motion of the hand bullets as he hopped up into a chair to see better. It made her vaguely wonder if all of them had learned sign language back then and had lost that knowledge, along with these memories. But her thoughts were quickly drawn back to the situation at hand, as she reached out a paw to cradle one of Chara's arms in her own. Her other paw then carefully moved to grip the end of their sleeve. Chara stiffened, but did not fight her, choosing instead to look away with a dark look in their eyes. Toriel internally winced, knowing all too well the reason why.

After she and her child seemed to share some silent agreement, she gingerly pulled the child's sleeve back to the curve of their elbow, exposing their arm and the terrible sight that came with it. It was positively littered with scars, some small and shallow, some deep and large, some old... and some painfully recent. Such a thing would be horrific enough to see on a child on its own, but the knowledge of where those scars had come from was what really made Toriel's soul churn within her.

Dr. Gaster looked over the harrowing sight without so much as a blink, only narrowing his sockets ever so slightly. He moved forward and laid one of his own bony hands lightly on the child's arm, causing both Chara and the Toriel inside to flinch a bit. If she could control her body at the moment, she would have straight up snarled in response.

Seeing his phalanges trace the edges of the wounds and turn over Chara's arm as he worked made her feel ill. She knew now that he  _despised_  humans, and surely her dream self would know this too. What dark things were going through his mind as he tended to this human child? What boiling hatred simmered behind those blurry, distorting eyelights? To be fair, he was doing a good job of hiding such feelings that must have been there. But still, she hated just having to watch this, unable to pull her dear child away from this dark, depraved soul before her. How could she have ever let this happen?

(How did this happen?) The skeleton signed just then, almost as though mirroring her own silent question, but in reality indicating to Chara's wounds. (Some of these are… rather serious… and fairly new.)

A chill ran down Toriel's back and she swallowed hard, clearly hesitant to reveal the truth. She gently gripped Chara's free hand in her paws, running one of her thumb pads over it. The child remained silent and hung their head. Even Asriel looked away uncomfortably, slumping in his chair a bit. A terribly tense few moments passed before Toriel spoke again.

"W-well… some of them were there before they fell. They… did not come to us from a good life Wingdings… And the others…"

Again she trailed off, and both Toriels, inside and out, could feel the skeleton's cold calculating gaze on her. She shot another long look at Chara and began to open their mouth to speak, when the child spoke up themself, interrupting her.

"I did it." Chara said, voice dull.

All three pairs of eyes in the room locked back on the young human then, two wide with shock, the other with only faint curiosity. Chara straightened up, glaring at the royal scientist with burning red eyes. Their voice rose in volume as they went on.

"I did it to myself. With the kitchen knife… and the fire poker… and my nails… I did it. So don't you dare accuse Mom and Dad of anything you old bonebag!" They practically spat, small hands curling into fists as they twisted away from him.

The outbursts led to yet another few moments of stunned silence, before Toriel could feel her maternal instincts take over and move her to act.

"Chara." Toriel said in somewhat of a warning tone, reaching then to take both their hands in her own. "We do not speak that way. You know that. I am sure the doctor did not intend any sort of accusation."

Chara pulled against her grip for a few moments, a brief fiery spark of rage flashing in their eyes. But then the fire there calmed and they seemed to deflate again, eventually gripping back at her paws instead. They dropped their gaze back to the table below them. Compared to some of the fits of anger the human child had succumbed to in the past, this one was hardly worth noting. Still, remembering and seeing first hand how very tormented her dear Chara had been back then caused Toriel's soul to ache all over again.

"Sorry…" They mumbled, suddenly sounding very tired.

Toriel loosened her grip on their hands, just cradling them gently then.

"It is alright my child, I know that this is hard for you." She said softly in response.

Toriel then shot a somewhat apologetic look at Dr. Gaster, who still appeared to be taking in the scene without even a flicker of emotion. He acknowledged her gesture with a vague nod, before signing with the hand bullets again.

(So they were self-inflicted.) He said, raising one of his true hands to tap idly against his chin. (I figured as much. So this human child is afflicted with some sort of… mental illness?)

Toriel nodded, and she could feel her grip on her child's hands tighten ever so slightly again as her eyes were drawn back to the dreadful array of scars on their arm. The sight brought both Toriels the urge to shudder, though only one could actually do so. She swallowed hard before responding to the skeleton's question.

"Yes… When they… When they become angry or upset, they get this compulsion to… harm themself…" She said, voice heavy. "They have been getting a lot better about it as of late, but things like this rarely improve without any setbacks. I have managed to heal their wounds whenever this occurs without me being able to intervene but, as you can see, the scars are still so… they are not healing as I would have hoped, like they do when I use the same technique on a monster..."

She paused for a moment then, facing the royal scientist again with a somewhat anxious expression.

"That is why I want your opinion, do you know if there is anything I can do to heal their wounds more properly? You know more about humans and their souls than I, Wingdings."

The skeleton did not reply immediately, still staring intently at Chara. Even with how her image of him distorted constantly, the Toriel inside thought she saw a hint of something dark in his eyelights, and it made dread flood through her. But then it was gone, and he faced her again, adjusting his glasses before signing once more.

(It is quite a simple solution really.) He said, straightening up with a professional air. (It is as you said, you have been using healing magic intended for monsters. It will certainly do in a pinch to stop their wounds from bleeding, but it will do little for the long term healing process.)

He reached over to lay a bony hand over Chara's scars again, and this time the child did not flinch, only glowered weakly up at the skeleton. As he continued to speak, a faint green glow began to encircle his hands, one that was far lighter in color than usual healing magic.

(Humans have far more physical matter making up their bodies than us monsters.) The scientist continued, sockets narrowing slightly. (So in order to better heal a human's wounds, one must focus their mana less on restoring magically sustained forms and more on repairing the damage to the flesh, the same way you might attempt to fix damage to something else physical, like a crack in a vase or a tear in fabric. Trying to call upon a human's natural magic to aid in the healing will not be nearly as effective as it is with monsters. Instead, the best course of action is to approach it with the mindset I just mentioned and then let their inherent processes take over the rest.)

With that, the glowing of his hands increased and Toriel leaned in close to see the scars under them shrinking inward and fading considerably. Chara blinked down at the sight with wide eyes, but showed no sign that they were in any pain. Toriel wasn't sure how to feel about that. By the end of it, the scars did not disappear completely but looked far better than they had previously. Even the more recent scars now appeared fairly benign, just faint discolored stripes through the child's pale skin. Toriel could feel relief washing through her physical soul, and even Chara looked mildly impressed as they turned their arm in front of them to get a better look.

(Of course, healing magic cannot remove these scars entirely.) The skeleton signed, drawing her eyes back to the hand bullets. (But it can certainly make them less… obvious, and ensure they heal properly. I can show you how to do it, with your skills it should not be much of a challenge.)

He said that last part with the faintest hint of a smile, and it made the Toriel inside feel nearly ill with anxiety. The exact reason why though, apart from all the anger she had towards him bubbling under the surface, was not clear to her. But the Toriel living out this memory only shot him an endlessly grateful smile, while Asriel moved closer to see for himself, equally enraptured as Chara it seemed.

"Oh thank you, thank you so much doctor, We are in your debt for this. Chara and I both." She said, and the tone of it made the revulsion burning within the Toriel observing all this grow even worse.

Dr. Gaster's small smile faded, after another heavy moment of distortion, leaving him with the same stern, somewhat cold look from before. His eyelights focused on Chara again for a few pointed seconds before facing Toriel with a small bow. His hand shaped bullets signed above him once again.

(It was my honor, my queen, as it always is to serve you.) He said. (Allow me to show you the technique on the child's other arm, then I will see to looking over the young prince.)

Being addressed in that old royal manner would have summoned a groan from her if she had control of her body. Instead she was helpless to get the pleased smile off her face as she inclined her head a bit in acknowledgement and went to his side to be instructed in performing his healing technique.

As the scientist had expected, it took little guidance for her to catch on to what she had been doing wrong in terms of tending to Chara's scars. It was strange though, because the Toriel inside recognized this technique as her dream self performed it. It was a technique she knew well. She had even used it in part when she'd mended the cracks in Sans' skull just days ago.

She had never considered where she'd learned the skill, the question just never occurred to her. If anything she probably would have assumed it was something her father had taught her way back when. Was this really where'd she learned it? From  _him_  of all monsters?

That idea did not sit well at all, and unease continued to roll through her as she watched herself slowly tend to each scar on her child's arm. As she did, she noticed her son draw closer, watching with sparkling eyes.

"See Chara, I told you it would be fine!" Asriel piped up, taking his sibling's hand with a smile.

Chara didn't reply right away, watching with a blank expression as Toriel worked. But then they met their brother's gaze with a weary sigh, red eyes heavy.

"Yeah, sure… whatever." They grumbled, though it came off as more grumpy than mean spirited. And it was met with a warm chuckle from Asriel.

The scene sent another terrible stab of pain through Toriel's soul, at least one trapped inside. It was such a normal interaction between the two, and again made her realize just how much she had missed them, missed  _this_. Even with the rather serious situation that it was. Those emotions dulled her perception of the dream once more, painful and raw as if she'd lost them just a day ago instead of an entire century.

She remained lost in her sorrows after that, barely paying attention as Dr. Gaster begun his check up on Asriel. Her physical self had scooped up Chara and was chatting with her beloved son as he obediently complied with the few tests the scientist performed, mostly checking on his soul and its magic levels. But she was hardly present, focusing on what she could see of her children's faces and praying that she didn't have to wake up.

Time in the dream passed in a blur after that. It was only when she felt herself set Chara down beside their brother and turn to follow the Doctor into the next room that she snapped back to awareness. What was happening? Why was she leaving her children? Her dream self seem unworried, but she could hardly think through the stress.

" _Go back to them! Go back to them… please…"_ She thought desperately.

But the dream cared not for her pleas, and continued on regardless. She had little choice but to focus again, or else slip back into her agonized grief. Gaster had guided her into the hallway he'd come from, eyeing her with some wariness. Confusion gripped her as the pain receded for the moment. A feeling amplified by the distortion that came with looking at him, far more intense in the small space.

"What is it Wingdings?" She heard herself ask in a hushed tone, briefly glancing back towards her children. "Is something... wrong?"

They had gone to sit on the couch. Asriel appeared to be attempting to comfort his sibling, and Chara remained slumped beside him, arms tightly crossed and face hidden beneath their thick locks of hair. The sight was stolen from her far too quickly, when Toriel turned to face the skeleton again. His hand bullets reappeared above him with a flash and he began to sign again.

(Both children are in ideal health, your highness… physically that is.)

The bullets paused then, twitching once in hesitation. Toriel felt her eyes narrow as both her inner and outer selves picked up on the implications of his words.

"That is… good to hear." She said, rather stiffly. "But… what do you mean by-"

She cut herself off as the bullets abruptly began signing again and the skeleton below them sent a more serious look her way. A heavy tension filled the room.

(The human is unstable, my queen... ) He signed, crossing his arms. (Are you not worried they could become a danger to others as well as themself? Do you not fear for your son? You and I both know what humans are capable of. Such violent behavior should not be excused so easily, even if it's only been directed at themself thus far.)

Toriel felt defensive rage immediately spike within her soul, and was vindicated somewhat to feel her dream self have the same reaction.

"I do not appreciate your choice of words, Dr. Gaster." She said in a calm but clearly angry tone. "We are talking about a child here."

There was a pause and the skeleton's eyelights wavered with something like anger. But like her, it was kept restrained.

(A  _human_  child, my queen.) He reiterated.

The anger inside Toriel flared hotter and she took a commanding step towards the skeleton, paws curled into fists.

"Chara was  _abused_  in their previous life." She said in a low, dark tone. "These outbursts are the result of that, as well as the reason for many of those scars you saw. But they are getting a little better every day, even with the occasional slip up. The fact they are human has no significance in this…"

She trailed off briefly, and while the Toriel inside maintained her rage, she felt her physical self relax again by degrees, drawing in a deeper breath before speaking again.

"I understand where your worries come from…" She murmured, voice tinged with a touch of sympathy. "But you are letting your prejudice blind you Wingdings. Chara is not a threat to anyone. They are a child who has suffered greatly and needs to be properly loved and cared for as they recover."

The skeleton's expression remained stony, unmoved. He hesitated only a moment more, before his sockets narrowed and he signed again, with hard, deliberate movements.

(That human has gained EXP, my queen… Just enough to elevate their level of violence... surely that has not escaped your notice.)

That gave both Toriels pause, a rush of memories coming back to them in that moment, almost in tandem. It was a fact that both were well aware of. Something that she'd noticed shortly after the child first fell. She swallowed hard, suddenly not as confident as before.

"Yes… I am aware." She conceded, bringing her paws together anxiously, mouth set in a firm line. "They have not told us much at all about where they came from or what happened to them, aside from some vague details…"

She paused momentarily again, and shot another glance at her child. When she returned her gaze to Dr. Gaster, the maternal fire had returned to her eyes.

"But it matters not, I trust my child Wingdings." She said firmly, in her more regal, commanding voice. "They do not have to tell us about what caused that if they do not wish to. I have seen their true character as they have become part of our family. They are a compassionate, smart, creative and just child. I do not fear them, and neither should you. I will not have you speak about them this way again, is that understood doctor?"

The authority in her voice was enough to drive any further fight from him it seemed, as he bowed his head a bit with a somewhat nervous expression before signing again.

(Yes… of course, your highness.) He replied, hand movements slow.

There was another pause of uncertainty, before he straightened up to face her and continued.

(For everyone's sake, I sincerely do hope you are right...)

The Toriel inside felt a faint chill at that, returning that sick feeling to her soul as his words registered as something of an omen. An omen that brought back flashes of her ex-husband collapsed on the kitchen floor from buttercup poisoning and Chara standing over him laughing uncontrollably, manically as Asriel sobbed and tried to wake his father. Another flash came of the child twisted up on the ground in the family garden, sick and tears leaking out of their face as they grinned wildly up at her, poisoned by those very same flowers.

Then of course came the moment of their death, and the moment where both her children's combined form collapsed before her into a shower of dust.

Oddest of all though, it brought back that image of Frisk from her earlier returned memory. Their eyes stretched wide open and burning a bright, blood red as they looked upon her crumpled, dying form…

But her physical self only shot the skeleton another glare before letting her anger go with a huff. And Toriel snapped back to attention, feeling a strange sensation tugging ever so faintly at the edges of her consciousness as she heard herself speak again.

"If there is nothing else, I will be taking the children home now." She said, still rather stern. "I thank you again for your help today, you are dismissed."

(Wait.) He quickly signed, before looking as though he slightly regretted it.

She raised a brow expectantly, crossing her arms in front of her. He composed himself again, expression returning to its usual stoicness. That odd sensation in Toriel's mind stirred up just a bit more, enough to warrant a small flicker of concern to form within her.

(What does... Asgore think about all of this?) He asked, hand motions strong again. (Is there a particular reason he didn't accompany you today? You usually take this part of the weekend off to spend time together, yes?)

It made the Toriel observing this want to groan once again, her dream self seemed uneasy about the question too, but not for the same reason. And after her initial reaction, Toriel quickly guessed what that reason was.

"He… does not… know how to handle Chara's outbursts all that well." She admitted, deflating a bit. "He just gets overwhelmed and does not know how to react to them. Especially when they… hurt themselves like that. It is the same in regards with their night terrors... Gorey would just rather not…"

She paused and the Toriel inside could her feel her physical soul churn with a rush of warring emotion. It was so surprising that she didn't even have time to cringe from hearing herself say that embarrassing old nickname. But the moment passed quickly and her dream self shook herself and forced back a stern expression.

"It is just better if I am the one attending to these things." She said quickly, in a dismissing manner. "Asgore is waiting at home preparing us all dinner at the moment, and I would very much like to return to him now with my children, Wingdings."

Her tone made it clear the conversation was over and the skeleton accepted that with a quick, somewhat nervous nod.

(Of course, my queen.) He signed quickly, offering a small, polite bow (I wish you a good evening. Feel free to call upon my services again if need be.)

In the moments after that, time seemed to momentarily stop within the dream. Before the question of what was happening could fully register, the sensation within her mind grew again in intensity, and Dr. Gaster's face seemed to briefly distort worse than normal. In that moment, his face looked... different. His eyelights were gone, leaving both sockets dark. One of the sockets looked as though it was nearly fused shut, while the other was stretched wide open. His mouth was pulled up in a wide, empty smile, and most striking of all were the two scars. One stretched from the left fused socket to the back of his skull, just like the one Sans had received, though  _far_  worse. The other flowed jaggedly from the right socket into his mouth, like some kind of morbid tear track.

It was all just as Frisk had described. Any doubts she had vanished in that instant and it brought forth a truly chilling realization. Dr. W.D Gaster, the monster who had created her dear skeleton and his brother to use as lab rats and as human killing weapons, who had experimented on human and monster children alike, who had committed an unknowable amount of taboos to extend his lifespan, and had attempted to fulfill his thirst for revenge alongside planning to free monsterkind.  _He was still alive_. Her child had met him, and he was likely still wandering the Underground at that very moment.

But how? Sans had told her that his father had been "shattered across space and time" after falling into the unstable magic of the core. Did he know? Oh stars… How would he take such news? Even after everything else he'd endured due to the resets, mentions of his father and the things he'd suffered while living as his prototype still clearly upset him terribly. His outburst of anger that first day could attest to that. How could she bare to tell him  _this_?

But all those desperate, panicked thoughts stalled when Dr. Gaster's face suddenly shifted back to normal and the dream began moving again. He left without another word and Toriel turned to walk back over to her children, heedless of the dizzying thoughts of her inner self. Seeing them again banished all the noise in her head for the most part though, too flooded with renewed grief and relieved emotions to bear to focus on anything else.

Their voices and faces consumed her every thought, as they both hopped up from the couch to greet her. Asriel with much enthusiasm and Chara with much more reluctance, but managing a bit of a smile regardless. By the stars… she loved them both so much…

But as she took both of their small hands in either of her paws and all three began to walk back to the main corridor of the castle, the image of the world around them began to fade and flicker and her senses dulled.

" _No... No please… I do not want to wake up… Not yet…"_ She thought, practically screaming at herself to look down at them again, to let her see them at least one more time.

" _Do not take them from me again… please… I do not want to leave this… I do not want to lose them again…"_

But the dream continued to disappear around them, the colors and forms dulling into a cruelly empty darkness. The feeling of their hands in hers was going as well, as though they were both literally slipping right through her fingers.

" _Please… Do not take them from me… Let me stay with them."_ She all but sobbed, nearly reduced to hysterics at this point.

But this was just a dream, a memory, and it could not listen to her pleas no matter how much she begged. Her children were long dead, that was her reality. And that was the reality she had to wake up to. Still, grief and despair overpowered any reasonable thoughts and she still struggled in vain to hold on to them, even though she knew it would yield nothing.

" _Please…_ _I never got to say goodbye…_ "

Her surroundings vanished entirely, leaving only the all consuming darkness. One of her paws grew cold and limp beside her.

" _Asriel…_ "

Then the other did the same, while her body remained beyond her control, frozen and unmoving.

" _Chara…_ "

For a moment, she was utterly alone in that terrible darkness, alone with the fiery agony of her grief. Then something shifted, and she felt a new presence, familiar hands lightly touching her face and shoulder, a soul that had become oh so dear to her. A voice came with it then, speaking over her internal fervor.

"tori… come on, wake up…"

Though it could do little to soothe her in that moment, it was enough to snap her back to the reality she had been fighting so hard not to face. She did not jolt awake like all the other times. Rather, wakeful awareness slowly faded in just as the dream had faded out. Then she was blinking open her eyes, and the blurry image of her dear skeleton in front of her filled her vision. His expression was one of intense worry.

"there ya go…" He said, voice concerned and rather nervous, but still blessed music to her ears. "t-take it easy… okay? are you um… awake now?"

She continued to just stare back at him, blinking against what she now realized were tears in her eyes. She didn't want to speak, to try to put the only somewhat numbed pain of all that she'd just experienced into words. So all she could manage was a small, shaky nod, which he met with a sigh of relief.

"good… you were… having another one of those "dreams" huh?" He asked, and she felt his phalanges brush gently against her cheeks, wiping the tears away. "musta been a... pretty rough one."

As he did so, she gained the presence of mind and the clarity of vision to take in the situation around her. They were still in the living room, nestled together on the couch. The smaller warm body pressed against her side told her the dog from before was still there, likely still asleep judging from the lack of movement. The weak golden light from the windows indicated it was nearing evening and that she had slept for some time. The house was fairly quiet, but when she listened closely, she could faintly hear Papyrus' bombastic voice coming from the hallway, followed by her child's giggling and an angry shout from Flowey. She couldn't be sure, but it sounded like they were playing a video game.

Everything was normal… perfectly, painfully, normal. The images of her lost children's faces… the sweet sounds of their voices… it all already felt like distant memories again.

That triggered another wave of tears to escape her and she instinctively shut her eyes again as she covered her face with her paws and curled in on herself a bit. A muffled little sob shook through her and she felt Sans draw closer, resting a hand against the side of her head. She could feel it shaking as he moved it in a soothing manner over her cheek.

"hey, hey… easy tori… i-t's okay…" He soothed, voice trembling just a bit. "it's over now..."

Hearing him attempt to comfort her was enough to keep her from slipping back into the same hysterics she'd been gripped with in her dream. It made her remember herself, and reminded her of the things that she still had to cherish in her current world, him being one of them. Still, her voice was as broken and weak as her soul felt at that moment as she managed to speak.

"S-sans… they w-were… m-my children were th-there…" She croaked out, body beginning to shiver as more tears leaked out against her paw pads.

"i know… you were... saying their names in your sleep." He murmured, voice heavy as his soul spiked with pain on her behalf. "i'm… i'm so sorry tori…"

A few more pitiful little sobs escaped her, undignified and pathetic but beyond her control. Sans stayed close all the while, seemingly fighting with indecision before speaking up again.

"tori… c-come here, okay? just let me… hold you. like you do for me." He said, voice soft and genuine.

He was clearly still a bit uncertain, but his desire to do for her as she had for him was clearer still and it truly touched her. Some of the terrible pain wracking her soul calmed then, as she heeded his request. She uncurled a bit and wrapped her arms around him, pressing her face against his chest. He was quick to reciprocate the gesture, holding her close and tenderly stroking the fur on her head again.

It would probably be a silly sight if anyone else had witnessed it, such a small monster cradling the head of one so much bigger than him. Even sillier when the dog wormed its way closer to them both with a soft whine, leaving the three of them an awkward pile of bones and white fur.

Regardless, being held like this at all felt so wonderful, even with the less than ideal circumstances. It had been so,  _so_  very long since someone had held her like this, and his touch stirred that same long forgotten comfort within her that it had before. His soul's magic reached out to hers, wary but resolute in its attempts to console her own. It was enough that the fit of anguish that had gripped her did not take too long to pass.

Until then though, she choked out slow, shuddering sobs against his chest, finally purging the tempest of emotions she had been unable to express in the dream. He squeezed her tight and remained silent, just continually stroking her fur until she had cried herself out and went more or less quiet again. Only then did he speak once more, over her shaky breathing.

"you… you okay?" He asked quietly, voice tinged with guilt.

She nodded against his chest, horns and muzzle brushing against the hills and valleys of his ribcage. Truthfully no, of course she was not okay. But she knew what he intended with that question. She drew in a few more deep breaths, steadying her soul and clearing her head a little more with each one. Eventually, she gathered the will to speak, thanking the stars that it seemed that her display of weakness had gone unnoticed by the house's other occupants. Stars knows how she would have explained herself then.

"I… apologize." She murmured, voice thick. "I j-just… I have not s-seen their faces in so l-long… nor heard their v-voices. I…"

He shifted a bit, readjusting his grip to be more comfortable for them both before replying.

"tori, i… i'm so sorry, i know that must have been… overwhelming." He murmured, pausing momentarily as he clearly struggled to find the right words. "but don't apologize, you said it yourself, remember? this is… nothing to be ashamed of."

Hearing him use her own words against her and seemingly agree with them as well sparked a warmth in her chest. But it was a small flame in a very cold, weary soul, and it could not chase away her sorrows. Not yet anyway. She tightened her grip on him, nuzzling her face more firmly against his chest. The dog gave another soft whine, snuggling up closer in the same motion as well. The sound of the others' still cheerful voices, excluding Flowey of course, came again from the other room, blissfully unaware of what was transpiring. An empty smile slowly spread across her face as she worked up the will to reply.

"Foolish, i-is it not? It has been m-more than a century since i lost my ch-children… I h-have a new life now, a child of my own again… a  _family_  again, people who need me… and yet… i st-still cannot seem to…. th-they haunt me still…"

One of his hands swept meaningfully down her neck and rubbed a soothing circle into the small of her back. His soul seemed to strengthen a bit with resolve, sending warmth to her own with more confidence.

"tori... that's not something you just… move on from, y'know? i've never had kids but… i know what it's like to lose family, people you love. it's not something that is ever just… okay. no matter how much time passes, even when things do get better. we know that you love us tori, and we'd never expect you to forget everything you've lost."

His words were impactful and rolled over her soul like a balm for the fiery pain that raged there. That small flame of warmth inside her grew, and with it, she gained the strength to admit her weakness.

"Oh Sans, I just… I m-miss them  _so much_ …" She croaked, another rush of tears escaping her and soaking into the soft material of his hoodie.

He stopped his stroking motions then to curl his phalanges into her fur and give her a little squeeze. There was guilt flowing from his soul again, sharp and cold. Something he wanted desperately to tell her, but simply could not. He settled instead on something else, but they were still words that she needed to hear.

"i know… you… you really loved those kids tori. every single one of them…" He said softly, voice vibrating through where his skull rested against the top of her head. "i'm so sorry that you've lost so much… someone who cares as much as you do for everyone around you… you are the last person who deserved any of that. "

Images of her lost children,  _all_  of them now, force themselves to the forefront of her mind once more. All so young, so sweet, and all having had their lives snuffed out so long before their time. It hurt so terribly, but the growing warmth within her kept it all from overwhelming her again.

She just hugged him tighter, claws curling slightly into his jacket. He began to run his phalanges through her fur again, and his soul's efforts to reach out to her own became more obvious. The shared warmth between them grew then, to the point she again felt that sensation of love and peace that was such a rarity to her endlessly fretful mind.

"its… its gonna be okay…" He assured her as best he could, the words clearly difficult for him. "i'm here for you tori... i-its like you keep telling me, you and i… we are in this together now."

That gave her pause for a moment, again having her own words turned towards soothing her instead of him. There was a moment where she felt a twinge of guilt for that, not wanting him to have to worry over her when he already had so much weighing on his soul. But then she accepted the truth of his words… _her_ words. That if they were going to get through this, they needed to both be there for each other. Gratitude added to the warmth in her soul, and she hoped he could feel it, expressing what she couldn't with words.

They laid there in that sort of embrace for some time after, neither saying a word as Sans continued to lightly stroke her. Part of her just wanted to slip back into sleep, so comforted she was, but she was nowhere near ready to face another returning memory. Eventually, Toriel knew she had to gather her strength and tell him what her dream had revealed to her. Beyond the pain it had caused her, there were things he deserved to know.

She gave him one last squeeze before adjusting her grip on him. Then she forced herself to sit up, scooping him into her arms with the same motion and settling him on her lap once she was upright. He accepted the action without a word, and settled back against her without any hesitation.

Without even knowing it, she had picked up the dog too, who had crawled into Sans' lap and was gazing up at her with a hopeful little wag of his tail. She managed to shoot him a small smile, before wiping her eyes of any lingering tears. She then rested her chin wearily on top of Sans' skull and wrapped her arms back around him before speaking again.

"I… I will be alright now. Thank you Sans…" She rasped, voice weak but no longer nearly as pained.

He patted her arm in response, and she somehow felt the warm grin on his face without seeing it.

"no problem tori, just glad you're okay."

That brought back her own weak little smile, pitiful as it was, at least it was a real smile. It faded a bit though when she really looked down at him again. His hoodie and undershirt were positively soaked in the front, no doubt her doing. By the stars, how embarrassing…

"Oh dear, I ruined your jacket did I not?" She said, tone apologetic. "Here, let me… um… dry you off."

He blinked up at her with a somewhat confused expression, but then she raised a paw and laid it against the damp spot on his chest before he could say anything. She summoned up a small controlled flow of fire magic from her palm, wreathing her paw briefly in a pale purple flame. With a quick burst of heat and a bright flash of light, the moisture clinging to the fabric turned to steam. It curled away into the air, leaving them both pleasantly warm and thankfully dry as well. Sans let out an impressed chuckle before smiling up at her again.

"can always rely on you to  _light up_  the room tori." He quipped with a wink.

Against all odds, the joke summoned out a few soft giggles from her. She felt Sans grip her arms a little tighter in response and a light, happy response came from his soul. The dog seemed to delight in hearing her laugh too, letting out a yip and wagging his tail harder. She and Sans both reached out to pet the canine then, hands brushing against each other as they did so.

This would have previously caused them both, or at least Sans, to flinch back with embarrassment. But this time neither seemed to even notice it all that much, only focusing on their amusement as the dog's head was smooshed a bit under both their palms, still happy as ever. It was a small thing that sent her soul all a flutter again, and she allowed herself to let her hand linger over his for a few seconds more before pulling it back. As much as she would have liked to just hang on to this moment of shared comfort, she knew she had to address her "dream" at last.

"Sans..." She spoke his name to get his attention.

He and the dog both looked up at her, and the skeleton settled against her with a blink of acknowledgement.

"I should tell you about this… memory I just experienced. There is something important I figured out during it that I feel you need to know, but i fear that it may… terribly upset you."

Nervousness reappeared in his expression, smile stiffening at the ends. He tightened his grip on her a bit, drawing in a deep breath, but then nodded, slowly.

"alright… i'll be okay. just... tell me the hard stuff first, better to get that over with y'know?"

She opened her mouth to do just that, but then she paused, wondering how to put the realization she had had regarding Gaster into careful words. She stroked the dog idly with one paw as she worked through her thoughts, eventually settling on starting with a question.

"Sans… when your father… when he fell into the core and was… "shattered"... did he... actually die?"

Sans took in the question without much of a reaction, aside from tilting his head a bit and averting his eyelights as he seemed to think it over. Then he faced her again with a humorless chuckle.

"heh… well… not exactly." He said, eyelights wavering a bit from some emotion she couldn't quite parse. "it's... pretty hard to explain. bits and pieces of him were scattered in different timelines and pockets of space when he fell, but his core consciousness and a good portion of the magic that made up his body… it stayed together. so he's… not  _dead_  per se, but he's not exactly alive either."

Toriel suppressed a shudder at that, finding the information more like that of some terrible ghoulish fable than that of reality. But it did bring her some relief as well, now more confident that the next bit of information wouldn't be as much of a shock as she had feared.

"So… you know then, that he is, or at least part of him is still… wandering the Underground?" She asked, keeping her tone cautious. "Frisk… told me they had met him at some point, though they did not know who he actually was, they only described him as a "strange monster". But the description they gave me was… too close to be a coincidence."

Sans blinked, eyelights shrinking a bit and a spike of muted fear came from his soul. But then he nodded, expression grim. As if by fate, the sound of the child's joyful giggling sounded from the other room again, sending an odd twinge of mixed emotions in her soul. Judging by his expression, he experienced something similar.

"yah... i uh, have bumped into him a few times myself… what's left of him anyway." Sans said, in a much more uneasy tone. "though from what i could tell… i was one of the only ones who could see him. can't say if the old bastard really recognized who i was or not, he just stared at me whenever we met, never saying a word. just… stared."

He shivered a bit, a few beads of sweat running down his skull. Toriel honestly wanted to mirror the action, the idea of what he was saying chilling her deeply. But she stayed still and silent as he went on.

"i was pretty sure to avoid the areas that he um… frequented after that, nothing i could do to him the way he is anyway. or any of them for that matter. it's the same for the others who got caught up in that massive magical reaction. all those scientists and that one little kid… parts of them are still… wandering around down there, lost on some other plane. i don't know if they even realize what's happened to them…"

His eyelights grew hazy for a moment, as if recalling something. Then he abruptly shook himself out of it, facing her again with a weak grin.

"wh-why do you ask?" He asked, kneading the fabric of her sleeve anxiously between his phalanges. "was your dream about ol g again?"

She winced slightly, as thinking about the dream in detail brought another stab of pain to her soul. She swallowed hard against any potential returning lumps in her throat before replying.

"Yes… in part." She murmured, voice somewhat dull again. "Though, the main thing I got from it was what you just described… so I suppose there is no need to go into too much detail."

He looked quite relieved at that, letting out a sigh that relaxed much of the tension in his body. But she felt much the opposite, feeling her focus getting dragged back into the sorrows the dream had caused her. She was able to resist it, but the details of it all swirled about in her head and burned on her tongue, longing to be acknowledged.

"heh… good. least it was something i already knew for once." He said with a softer grin that slowly withered upon looking up at her again. "but uh… do you… do you want to talk about the rest of it? i totally get if you don't… but i'm… uh… always happy to listen… y'know?"

He said that last part a touch nervously, lowering down into his hood a bit. Clearly he had noticed her small shift in emotions, the dear. Toriel looked back at him for a long time, eyes heavy once more as she weighed the options in her mind. Truly, she owed him a full explanation, after his willingness to be so open with her. But this was so difficult… She had not talked about her lost children to anyone in so very long. And as proved by what had just happened, it was still an endlessly sore subject for her. But in the end, she nodded, for she knew she needed to talk about it, to forbade it from further festering in her mind. Her words to Sans at the start of all this had not been a lie after all, she knew that this was something she needed to do. This was as good a place to start as any.

"Thank you dear." She said, with some of that genuine warmth in her voice. "Yes… I… I think it would be good for me to tell you."

With that, she held him and the now fondly regarded dog close to her and began to recount the events of the dream. It was as hard as she expected, and describing the parts involving her children in detail brought back that terrible old ache of grief in her soul. But as before, the warmth his magic shared with her own kept her grounded, steady enough to keep going even when relaying the moment her children had slipped away from her again. The parts with Gaster were easier, and she was sure to describe them in great detail for him, in case he realized something she was missing.

As she talked, she decided to do another treatment on Sans' scar, figuring it was a good time for it. As the heavy words escaped her, she slowly ran a paw over the mark on his skull. Green healing mana seeped from it in slow, calculated waves into the scar, a delicate process meant to ensure speedy healing. Very similar to the process Gaster had demonstrated in the very dream she was re-telling. Sans seemed to enjoy the personal attention, as she had noticed he so often did. They certainly had that in common. And all the while, he listened just as he said he would. His reactions were minimal aside from some small flashes of emotion in the lights of his eyes and the occasional quiet question. But for the most part, he just listened and did what he could to show his support.

Eventually she finished both her tale and her work on his scar, leaving the room in a heavy silence for a bit, apart from the snoring of the dog who had fallen asleep again in the skeleton's lap. Toriel felt somewhat numb in that moment, emotionally exhausted from the whole thing. She waited anxiously to hear his reaction.

"so chara… they uh, hurt themself a lot, huh?" Sans asked softly, finally breaking the silence.

She tried not to wince at that, but did not totally succeed. He had been rather quiet when she'd been talking about Chara's scars, and there had a been an oddly faraway look in his eyelights then. But whatever was holding him back then did not seem to be doing so anymore. She swallowed hard before replying, fighting back the memories of the times when she'd been unable to stop Chara from harming themself after one of their outbursts. The guilt would be too much for her on top of everything else at the moment.

"Yes…" She croaked in response, scarlet eyes dull and still a touch red rimmed from all her earlier crying. "I never learned the full reason as to why they did that. Only that it was something they had developed a habit of before they ever fell into the underground. It was always some… impulsive thing they struggled to resist whenever their emotions overwhelmed them..."

She trailed off momentarily, briefly unsure if she should say what she wished to say next. But she forced it out as she had everything else, feeling it needed to be said.

"They were a… very troubled child, Sans." She admitted, easing her eyes shut momentarily. "They struggled a lot from the scars their previous life left on them, both the physical… and the mental. The injuries they inflicted on themself was just one of many worrying behaviors they dealt with. They had a tendency to blow up at others, be emotionally distant, show a lack of empathy, pick on or berate others for displaying weakness, and their anger, Sans. There was so much anger and pain in their soul… for humanity, for their human parents, for the world at large. And that is all without mentioning the fact that they came to us with an elevated level of violence..."

She paused briefly, subconsciously tightening her grip on Sans as Chara's face was summoned up in her mind. Those ruby red eyes, far brighter and stronger than her own, seemed to bore into her soul as she continued.

"But even with all that, I saw the good in them too. I saw the frightened, hurt child beneath that constant lashing out. A child who just wanted to feel safe and loved, who deserved it after suffering so much. A child who loved to sew and draw things for their family, who loved to sit on my lap while I read them book after book, who was my son's first real friend, who loved chocolates. A child who would… give their life to some childishly foolish plan… just so their adoptive family and all other monsters could potentially taste freedom."

She slowly dragged a paw down her face, as though trying to physically push away the surge of emotions and memories that threatened to grip her then. Sans just looked up at her, expression stiff and hard to read. She thought she saw yet another suspicious glint in his eyelights, like he was again trying to keep himself from saying something. Focusing on that was difficult though, as looking at him had triggered another thought in that moment, overpowering the others and demanding to be spoken. She did so, with only a moment's hesitation this time.

"Perhaps, in some way, what happened to my child was part of what drove me to more actively try to get you to open up to me about your struggles, when I noticed you seemed to be suffering from your hidden burdens the same way they were. I always carry the guilt and fear that I did not do enough back then for my child, and had I known the specifics of what terrible secret pains weighed on their soul, I could have… helped them better. I could have... stopped them from..."

Her mouth seemed to shut against her will, simply unable to finish that statement. She felt Sans reach over to gently grip her paw.

"tori…" He spoke her name, tone heavy with understanding.

It was all that was needed. She took another deep breath and squeezed his hand back, forcing a smile back to her face like the hypocrite she was.

"I am sorry dear, forgive my rambling… I should not burden you with these things…" She said in a softer voice.

Sans shook his head a bit, and fought through his clear hesitation to respond quickly.

"n-no i… i get it tori. i'm… i'm glad you told me…" He said, eyelights wavering with a mix of emotions.

The false smile on her face warmed at that, perhaps becoming something of a real smile as warmth bloomed again in her soul. She could tell Sans wanted to say more, gritting his teeth against something he was fearful of putting into words. But before he had any chance for that though, they both heard the door down the hallway open, announcing that the others would soon be returning. Instinctively, they both slowly let go of each other's hands.

"guess we'll uh, put this convo on pause for now t." Sans said quietly, attempting his usual casual tone, but with something almost dejected in it as well. "kinda forgot pap and the kid had something planned for ya. we can um… talk more tonight if you want."

She blinked in response to that, perking up somewhat. She couldn't guess just what sort of "plan" they had for her from his tone. She found it hard to focus on that at the moment though, still so very focused on her dear skeleton's continually shifting emotions. He was already preparing to put up his front again, forcing up that fake smile and concealing all the lingering effects of what had just happened as best he could. It hurt her to see. She didn't have long to reply though, so she willed herself to speak while she still could.

"Oh? Is that so…" She asked, expression warming by degrees. "Very well then, sounds good to me."

There was a momentary pause, and during it, the dog jumped off the couch and rushed into the hallway to greet the others. Both of them could hear him immediately cause a ruckus, likely chomping on one of Papyrus' leg bones, much to the skeleton's quite obvious, and loud, displeasure. It was almost like the dog was intentionally stalling the rest of the family from coming in. But Toriel banished that thought immediately, finding it more than a little ridiculous. In the extra time it had nontheless earned them, Sans spoke again.

"you gonna be alright?" He asked, simply.

Her smile strengthened, and that blessed warmth within her soul inspired some more of that boldness in her. Perhaps it was selfish, yes, but it also came from a more legitimate place as well. She wanted to ensure he knew how much she truly appreciated everything he'd done for her. And crunched for time, she could only think of one thing to do.

"Yes, I will." She replied to him softly, before pushing back her uncertainties and leaning down to press a kiss to the top of his skull.

He stiffened up in response, but more in surprise than anything else, as the unconfident, but nearly equally warm reaction from his soul told her. She let it last just a little longer than the last one.

"Thank you again Sans, truly. Your care on my behalf means so very much to me." She said once she'd pulled back up to meet his gaze again.

His reaction was just as amusing and endearing as the last time, but he was perhaps just a little less stunned by her actions, as though expecting it in some way.

"y-you're welcome tori…" He stammered, face flushed a bright cyan, but managing to keep his smile in place, if a bit wobbly. "s-same… to you."

Then just like that, the little moment was over. Just like awaking from her dream, reality had to return. The rest of her family poured into the room then. Papyrus was still griping at the dog hanging from his arm, who was indeed chomping at it with a pleased expression. Frisk carried Flowey in with an amused smile on their face, and a shell necklace around their neck, no doubt their promised souvenir from Papyrus' trip. The flower monster just rolled his eyes at the whole affair. Inevitably though, all their eyes fell on her and she was somewhat surprised when Frisk and Papyrus' faces lit up.

"AH, TORIEL, YOU HAVE AWOKEN! EXCELLENT!" Papyrus noted with enthusiasm, finally shaking the dog off his arm. "THE CHILDREN AND I HAVE PREPARED TONIGHT'S DINNER IN LIGHT OF YOUR CLEAR NEED FOR REST, AND MY BROTHER'S CONTINUAL RECOVERY FROM ILLNESS. I DO HOPE YOU WILL ENJOY IT."

Ah, so that's what Sans had meant by a surprise. She offered them the strongest smile she could muster, finding it somewhat odd that neither seemed all that phased by the sight of her and Sans sitting together as they were. She had honestly expected to endure quite a number of teasing remarks, especially given that Sans had likely not managed to put up his usual casual front again after her impulsive little show of affection, but she certainly wasn't bothered to be wrong.

"Oh? Well how very thoughtful of you!" She said, laying a paw over her chest. "Thank you everyone. You have all been… so very kind to me today. Thank you."

Papyrus beamed in response, and Frisk set Flowey down on the coffee table to come over and hug her. Sans was inevitably drawn into it too. And he let out a chuckle that didn't seem all that forced, seeming content in the child's presence. Even if it were just for that moment, that was another small thing that brought joy to Toriel's soul. As she squeezed her child and her dear skeleton tight, Flowey spoke up from the table with a huff.

"I had no part in this, so don't involve me in this mushy garbage." He said, spitting out his tongue at her.

Frisk snickered softly in response and pulled back from the hug to sign to her.

(He's lying, he helped read off the recipe to me and Papyrus, and he helped me mash the potatoes with his "friendliness pellets.") Frisk signed with a grin, quirking an eyebrow playfully at Flowey.

"SHUT UP!" The flower monster shouted, when he realized what Frisk was saying.

The outburst was met with a short peal of laughter from everyone else, and the flower monster receded into his pot with a grumble of irritation as something of a blush spread on his face. Once they'd all composed themselves again, Sans slid off her lap to allow her to stand up. Before she could though, Papyrus stopped her with a dramatic pose, like that of a crossing guard directing traffic.

"STOP RIGHT THERE TORIEL!" He demanded, but in a lighthearted tone. "THIS MEAL IS MEANT TO BE A "BREAKFAST IN BED" SITUATION!"

He faltered a bit then, frowning and tapping a gloved hand against his chin.

"EVEN THOUGH IT IS NOT A BREAKFAST… NOR ARE YOU IN A BED…"

"I think  _dinner in couch_  is what you're looking for there bro." Sans quipped with a wide grin, earning a groan from the other skeleton and quite the laugh from Toriel.

"THAT IS NOT A THING SANS!" Papyrus retorted over the sound of her giggles.

Sans only responded with a shrug, for some reason only making her laugh harder. Stars, it felt so nice to properly laugh like that after everything that had happened. Papyrus sighed dramatically and then spun on his heel towards the kitchen, having to make sure he didn't trip over the small white dog nibbling on his boot.

"WHATEVER THE PROPER NAME, I INSIST YOU STAY HERE ON THIS COUCH. I SHALL FETCH THE MEAL AT ONCE AND WE SHALL ALL EAT HERE IN THE LIVING ROOM. PLEASE DO RELAX." He said, partially through gritted teeth as he tried again to shake off the meddlesome canine.

Toriel couldn't manage to speak through her giggling then, so she just nodded in response. Beside her, she felt Sans shift on the couch and his hand brushed over her paw again as he got to his feet. If it was an intentional little gesture or accidental, she couldn't be sure, but it made her soul flutter again regardless. She managed to compose herself then and watched as Sans walked over to his brother.

"i'll uh, help you carry everything bro. wouldn't want anything to fall and make your dinner end up a  _din_ -astor, heh." He said once at his side, resulting in another loud groan from Papyrus.

But then the younger skeleton looked down at his brother with a bit of a concerned frown on his face.

"ARE YOU SURE, BROTHER? THAT MIGHT NOT BE A GOOD IDEA GIVEN YOUR CURRENT CONDITION."

Sans gave a small chuckle in response and gave his brother's side a pat.

"yah, it's fine bro. i'm…" He paused, and glanced back at Toriel with a fond smile, meeting her eyes before looking back up at his brother. "i'm actually feeling pretty good right now."

Both Toriel and Papyrus looked at him with somewhat wide eyes at that, knowing the true significance of hearing such a statement from him. Sans didn't seem to want to become any sort of center of attention though, and began to head for the kitchen. But he couldn't escape an excited hug from Papyrus, who scooped him up and squeezed him tight before carrying him the rest of the way into the kitchen. Toriel watched them go, soul stirring in all the best ways.

In the quiet that followed the brothers' departure, Toriel's attention was directed back to Frisk, who had been lingering at her side all the while. The child looked at her with a hint of concern, perhaps just now noticing the lingering evidence of her earlier tearfulness. They stepped closer and laid a hand on her arm, frowning a little.

(Are you okay mom?) Frisk asked, seeming to be looking deep into her weary, scarlet eyes.

The question did not bring the same fear it had before, perhaps unable to penetrate the sort of tranquility that had overtaken her soul. Before giving any verbal reply, Toriel wrapped Frisk back in her arms, nuzzling their cheek a bit in the same motion. They promptly returned the hug, pressing their face against her neck. Their powerful soul thrummed with magic against her chest, in time with the beat of their heart. All signs that her child was blessedly, undoubtedly  _alive_.

"Yes dear, I am." She replied softly, squeezing them just a little tighter.

And in that moment, she really was.

They both let the hug linger for some time before letting go again. Frisk indicated to her that they were going to go help the skeleton brothers in the kitchen and she nodded her understanding. She watched as her child went over and scooped up Flowey, before giving him a little boop where his nose would be. He responded with the expected crabby grumbling, only looking more irritated when Frisk giggled in response. It was a picture of normalcy, and it all filled her with restoring, familial warmth.

But when she looked at the two children then, something odd happened. She got a flash of an image from her dream, of Chara and Asriel standing side by side, overlapping with Frisk and Flowey in her vision. For a moment, she saw more of her lost son in the flower monster beyond the same grumpy pout on their face, some strange faint feeling she couldn't quite grasp. And Frisk was looking down at him with wide, red eyes. Familiar red eyes.

But then the flash was gone, and all was normal once again.


	18. Similtude

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First chapter of the new year! Happy 2018~ A bit of a mixed bag for this one, and leading into something of a mini-arc i'm excited to write. Also a good helping of these dorks and their dumb flirting because I needed it. Hope you enjoy~ ^^ 
> 
> (Warnings for this chapter: mentions of child abuse)

Hours later, with a soul still full of warm magic from a wonderful dinner, Toriel had nestled into bed for the night. She stared down at her diary, shifting under the blankets a bit as her eyes swept over all the new notes she'd taken. She had filled four new pages just from all the information she'd gathered over the last few days alone. The most recent entries had retroactively turned her once personal haven for her innermost thoughts and joke ideas into a something of a dream journal, alongside its other newfound purpose of documenting the information she'd been learning about her dear skeleton. She thumbed through the pages idly, taking in just what a truly cluttered mess it had become.

Pages and pages of information, so much of it sounding too fantastical to believe, so much of it utterly devastating, so much of it enough to send a mind reeling if they dared try to accept it as fact. With all the potentially world-shattering information it now contained, she'd been far more careful to keep it with her and hidden away at all times. Her days of leaving it open on her desk were certainly over, that was for sure. She could only imagine how damaging it could be if a nosy someone were to stumble across it.

A bit of a humorless, weary chuckle escaped her when she reached the page that had started all this, marked with that largely scrawled "Do Not Forget" at the top, circled in red ink. Looking at it now, it was hard not to laugh at her foolish ignorance. She could write every bit of information down and work to commit it to memory all she wanted, but in the end, she was utterly powerless to keep from forgetting it. All that power lied in the hands of her child, who could take all of this from them on a whim. Then the efforts of her and her dear skeleton would all be for nothing. Stars, the day she had written that already felt so long ago...

She shook herself from those thoughts, turning back to the most recently finished page before glancing at the empty space on the bed beside her. Thinking about the skeleton who would soon be appearing there helped ease her worrying a little. As per their agreement from the previous night, once everyone else was asleep, he would shortcut in here to spend the night with her. Though she knew the true reason behind it, the idea made her soul stir within her. It reminded her of how she'd felt when she'd snuck out of her family's castle at night as a child to meet with secret friends or search for nocturnal bugs. It was something like excitement mixed with anxiety, though this time there were  _other_  feelings adding to it as well.

As if somehow summoned by those feelings, a bright flash filled her vision at that moment and Sans appeared beside her. She was thankfully able to compose herself quickly, offering him a welcoming smile without hardly missing a beat.

"Greetings, Sans. Good to see you again." She said in a joking tone, as though they hadn't just seen each other less than an hour ago.

He chuckled and shot her a wide grin back in response, sitting casually cross legged as though the act of teleporting had not strained him in the slightest. He had actually changed before bed for once, something he only seemed to make an effort to do when sharing her room. Granted, he'd only put on another hoodie, this one dark gray with the image of a bone on the front, and a new pair of black shorts. But it was still notable in his case nonetheless.

"heya tori, been a while, huh?" He shot back with a wink, catching on to her little quip. "sorry i'm late, had to help pap get the dog out of his room. the mutt's asleep with the kiddo now."

She giggled into a paw, reminding herself to keep her voice down, but unable to muffle it completely. The fact his smile seemed so genuine made a wave of joy wash over her. It was a good sign, that even with the troubling events of the day, and the impending threat of both their nightly torments, he still seemed rather relaxed. Perhaps all that had happened between them was finally making a positive difference for his mental state. That thought kept the smile on her face as he scooted closer and glanced down at the diary in her hands.

"what'cha writing? haven't seen you break out that old thing in ages." He asked, leaning comfortably against her side.

Toriel angled it away from him playfully.

"Now Sans, you do know it is rude to snoop in another's diary do you not?" She teased, fangs flashing as she grinned.

He shrugged his shoulders before pretending to reach for it with one hand.

"ah c'mon tori, that's where you keep all your best jokes right? share some with me, i've been so off my game lately. i'm in  _diar_ -need of some new material."

That prompted some more giggles from her, but the humor she felt was dulled a bit when she remembered then that he was not aware of all this note taking she'd been doing. With the knowledge that she had now, knowing she had no power to ensure the entreate to herself penned on these pages, there was no point to keeping it to herself anymore. Still, some part of her feared he may not be happy with her for this. She curled her claws into the edges of the diary slightly, taking a deep breath before facing him with a more serious expression.

"Well Sans, I have… not been writing many jokes in here as of late." She said softly, hesitating a moment before handing it over to him. "I have actually been using it to keep track of everything I have been learning about these… resets... timelines, everything you have told me. As well as recording the information from these "dreams" I have been having."

He blinked, expression sobering up a bit as he took the diary from her into his bony hands. A moment passed where he kept his gaze with hers, seemingly taking in what she'd said before he looked down at it. Toriel kept talking as he did so.

"That first day… after I hurt you with my careless words. I could not get your reaction out of my mind. Your fear that I would forget everything you had told me. So at the time… I thought I should try to ensure I would not forget… by writing it all down."

She trailed off briefly, eyes becoming somewhat haunted.

"Of course… that turned out to just be more ignorant foolishness, did it not?"

Her question went unanswered for a bit, as he began slowly looking through the diary. His eyelights wavered with a mix of emotions as they ran over all the words and images she'd scrawled on each and every page. She maintained her silence as well, waiting with creeping anxiety as he perused the notes only she had ever looked at before this point. Eventually he came to the page with the "Do Not Forget" written across the top.

His eyelights shrank considerably as they rested on those words, a few beads of sweat dripping down his skull. He rested a hand on the words, slowly running his phalanges over them for a few moments before speaking again.

"tori... you…" He said softly, voice heavy.

But then he seemed to shake himself out the sort of trance he'd fallen into, looking back up at her again.

"these are some uh… thorough notes here, heh. didn't realize you were keeping such careful track of all this. you put my lazy chicken scratch to shame for sure." He said, sounding somewhat unsure about exactly how he felt.

His gaze drifted back to the diary, locking onto those three words with notable intensity.

"but… even if your original intent was a uh, little misinformed… i… i do appreciate that you cared so much. even then when i was being so… y'know."

Toriel relaxed by degrees, relieved not to be met with anger but still feeling worry swirling about in her soul. She reached over to wrap a hopefully comforting arm around him. Her touch seemed to be enough of a reminder for him not to plunge any further into self deprecation, and after a few moments he leaned back into her touch, and a faint, grateful pulse of warmth came from his soul. She willed her voice to stay even as she replied.

"Are you sure you are okay with this, Sans?" She asked. "I understand if you are not, I would be fine with getting rid of the pages concerning all this if they would cause you any stress."

Sans seemed to consider that for a moment, eyelights going a bit hazy in thought as he continued to stare down at the page. But then he shook his head, looking back up at her with a stronger smile.

"nah, i'll admit it's a little strange to see it all written on paper like this. from someone other than me, i mean. but i totally get that you need to have somewhere to keep track of it all and make sense of it. i remember what it was like first trying to come to terms with… all this. not well, but i do remember. don't worry about it."

With that, he gently closed the diary, tightening his grip on the sides of it as he went on.

"we just uh, need to make sure no one ever gets their hands on this. gotta keep it hidden, maybe get it a lock or something. especially with how nosy frisk tends to be y'know? kiddo even dug around in our garbage back in the underground, heh."

Toriel nodded without hesitation, feeling the last of her more severe anxiety melt away then.

"Of course, I will find something to lock it up with. And I have been keeping it with me and stowed away at all times. I will ensure it stays that way. But if you ever change your mind, do not hesitate to let me know, okay? This may help me understand better but… in the end, these are your secrets and you get the final say in how they are handled, alright?"

The tension in his posture lessened at that, and his grin softened again. He handed the diary back to her and she took it gently from his small hands, returning that smile.

"alright, thanks tori." He said quietly, resting his skull more snugly against her side.

She gave him a little squeeze in reply before moving to put the diary back in her purse and zip it shut, locking away all those dangerous secrets again. Once it was set back on the side table, she returned her attention to him. With how comfortable he seemed to be now, she half-expected him to already be asleep by the time she looked back at him. But his response quickly banished that thought.

"so, uh… i dunno about you, but i doubt i'm gonna be able to sleep for a while. what, with all the napping i got in today, i almost feel well rested… almost. on top of uh… the usual stuff of course, heh."

His grin became a bit strained at that, and Toriel gently took his hand, shooting him a reassuring look. Her eyes grew a bit hazy again, understanding his anxiety all too well.

"I fear it is the same for me, I do not believe I am quite ready to face another one of those visions yet... Do not worry dear, I will stay up with you this time, we can wait to try and sleep for a few hours at least."

She could feel the relief her words brought him more than she could see it on his face, as well as a little embarrassment. He didn't say anything in response at first, just gave a small, thankful nod. Then he closed his hand tighter around hers and let it linger like that for a while before speaking again.

"so uh… anything you wanna talk about? we did kinda get interrupted earlier, probably how its gonna tend to go with everyone back in the house again." He said, voice sounding more like his usual casual tone.

Toriel hummed a bit in her throat and tapped a claw against her chin in thought. Questions and potential topics of discussion regarding both of them swirled about in her mind. She felt no real need to continue discussing her latest returned memory, as they had covered what was important. And she couldn't deny her own, admittedly selfish, desire not to think about her lost children again at that moment. The lingering effects of seeing them in her dream still burned lightly within her soul like scattered embers from a bonfire that had been reduced to ash. So instead, she focused on another thought that had been weighing on her mind, turning back to face him.

"Well… I was wondering about what you told me before I fell asleep earlier today. Your reasoning as to why you are willing to show mercy and compassion towards Flowey, that is. About how you almost… absorbed the human souls when you were a child. I do not feel I retained all you said due to my terrible exhaustion at the time."

Sans blinked once, looking somewhat surprised, but then his grin widened again, oddly containing some level of amusement.

"yah… i can tell you more about that if you want. you  _were_ pretty out of it then." He said with a chuckle he failed to restrain.

She raised a brow at him as his grin grew wider and he gained a bit of a teasing glint in his eyelights. She did not like where this was going, only faintly remembering just how foolishly she had been acting then, delirious from fatigue. What she did recall however, was more than enough to make her sweat a little.

"What is with that look?' She asked, frowning in a defensive manner.

His grin widened and his eyelights brightened with amusement.

"nothing, you were  _purr_ -fectly fine, tori." He said with a wink.

It took a second for the pun to sink in, but when it did, it made her entire face burn with embarrassment as she remembered some more vague flashes of what had happened before she had fallen asleep. Oh stars, did he mean that she had…? She freed her paws to pull her long ears over her face then, turning away and fighting the urge to groan at her own ridiculousness. The sound of Sans laughing again certainly did not help.

"aww don't be embarrassed." He said with another wheezy chuckle, giving her a pat. "i thought it was uh… kinda cute actually. i had no idea goats could purr."

She peeked out at him from under one her ears with a hard look before letting out a huff.

"Honestly Sans, surely you know that boss monsters are not just goat monsters." She said, exasperated. "Do these look like hooves to you?"

With that, she decidedly placed one paw over his face, nearly totally covering it. She let it be the method in which she stated her point, as well as pushed him away a bit. He stiffened at first, then started laughing again, the sound muffled against her paw.

"nope, guess not. these couldn't  _paw_ -sibly be hooves." He chuckled, the vibration of his speaking tickling her paw pad a bit.

That was enough to get the wave of self consciousness that had gripped her to pass. Humor of her own welled up within her again and she couldn't help but let a bit of a giggle escape her, though she tried to disguise it as a small cough. He playfully pulled at her paw with his own hands and she let him lift it off of his face. He held on to it though, and she decided to let him, going on with her explanation with a now mostly feigned expression of annoyance.

"We boss monsters are just as much dragons and lions as we are goats." She said, matter of factly. "The monster councils of old wanted many traits from a variety of powerful monster species for their royal lineage after all. I am sure it was the… lion part of me that was the reason for… that."

She was blushing again after speaking that last part, the tips of her ears turning pink, but she found her amusement was still winning over her more than anything. Even his inevitable laughter didn't cause her any returning vexation. She watched as he cradled her paw, looking at it and turning it over curiously, as if seeing it for the first time. It made her roll her eyes a bit, but also brought a small smile back to her face.

"is this because of the lion part too?" He asked, pressing on her paw pad and causing her claws to extend to their full length.

"Yes, indeed." She replied with a nod, playfully wiggling her digits a little in his grasp.

He grinned wider in response and tapped a phalange against one of her claws, seeming to take in the sharpness and soft curve of them. While he was distracted, a mischievous glint shone in her eyes. She quickly, but gently, closed her claws around the hand he was pressing on her with, flashing a wide grin of her own that made her fangs glint in the low light. He blinked in surprise and met her eyes again with a somewhat nervous smile.

"I have caught you funnybones, but there is no  _claws_  for alarm." She teased, releasing his hand with a wink.

The pun hit the mark, as he immediately succumbed to another peal of wheezy chuckling and squeezed her paw back. She could not force herself to hold back and joined him in that laughter, covering her mouth with her free paw to ensure she kept her voice down. They went on with their usual banter for a while after that, forgetting the original intended topic that had been brought up. It wasn't until there was a brief lull in all their quiet giggling and shooting of jokes back and forth some time later that a level of somberness returned to her dear skeleton's face. She mirrored that shift in emotions, drawing him close again as he spoke up once more.

"so… you wanted to know more about my uh... incident with the human souls, right?" He asked, staring idly at the thick purple comforter they were both nestled under.

The words left her soul churning with uneasy emotions. Any mention of the human souls threatened to open up old wounds, and terribly painful memories. She could already see their faces beginning to flash before her eyes again. All those sweet children, in every shape color and size, with their innocent eyes and individual hopes and dreams. All cut down before their lives had even truly begun, reduced to just souls trapped in jars for her ex-husband's plans. She shook the thoughts away, remaining resolute. She couldn't let all that stop her from learning everything she could.

"Yes, If you would be willing to share, dear." Toriel replied with a nod, eyes gentle.

Sans nodded right back, only looking a little hesitant and a touch sympathetic. Clearly, he recognized that this would be pretty hard for her to hear too, given her past with the children that the souls in question had once belonged to. He mindfully pressed a little closer before beginning with his tale, and Toriel felt warmth bloom within her soul at the act, happy he seemed so very comfortable with it now.

"when i was about… oh i dunno, eleven or twelve? ages for me are kinda weird with what ol g did to me and with all the resets. stars knows how old i actually am now… or was back then." He began, words already sounding a bit disjointed.

 _"I know the feeling all too well, dear."_  She thought in response, but kept her silence.

"but anyway, when i was a kid, and papyrus was still er… "incubating" in his development chamber, i had a pretty consistent schedule." He began, tone surprisingly strong.

"every morning the doc or one of his cronies would take me out of my holding cell, i'd be given "breakfast", and then be whisked off for the experiment or test of the day. then i'd fail it or majorly disappoint in some way again and again until it was clear my incompetence was unavoidable, or until i got too sick or hurt to continue or passed out or something, whatever came first. all day every day. then it was back in the holding cell, or the isolation cell if they saw fit to "punish" me for something. what i got for dinner depended on which cell i was in for the night. "

He went tense beside her at that, and Toriel wordlessly offered her paw to him by instinct. He took it, closing his hand around hers gratefully. She did her best to swallow back the hot anger that she could already feel flaring up in her throat, keeping it from developing into true flames. She felt her claws itching to extend out again as well, adding to the sudden protectiveness that had gripped her. It was difficult, but she restrained it and forced herself to pay attention fully as he continued.

"on the night it happened, i had been put in the isolation cell for… something. i can't really remember what, maybe for failing the karmic retribution experiments on the death row inmates again, i dunno. but i was put in there for the night, and it was this tiny steel room that i could barely turn around in. it had no windows, bed, sink, chair or anything, just a small light hanging from the ceiling. and the door was vacuum sealed, meaning it was totally sound proofed. i think the quiet was what got to me most during those nights, just this… awful total silence apart from any sound that came from me. it just... wasn't natural…"

Though he was clearly trying not to, he shivered a bit at that, and his eyelights became dim and hazy as he reflected on those memories. But he pressed on with it regardless, refocusing again and keeping his voice remarkably even.

"anyway... that night, dr. felidae, this brown cat monster scientist… a real bastard. he was the one to lock me up. and he made an effort to upset me while doing it, the guy really had it out for me, more than the others for some reason. he was always speaking in these creepy rhymes too... he got me all worked up before shutting me away for the night, raging at me for whatever i did, throwing my meal on the ground of the cell and telling me i would have to eat it off the floor. by the time he left i was a friggin mess… but eventually everything inside me just... gave way to anger…"

Oh Toriel could understand that, given that just hearing about this was wanting to send her into a rage. She gave his hand a little squeeze and he returned the gesture with force. It wasn't enough to hurt, but it prompted concern to join her anger on his behalf. As she took in the darker emotions starting to radiate from his soul again, she made a mental note to keep tabs on it and try to prevent another incident like the one that had happened that first day if need be.

"i was so  _angry_  tori… and i let it keep getting more and more intense, until my magic was lighting up the cell like a light show. on top of that i just kept thinking about how desperately i wanted out of that cell, how i would do anything to get out, to save my brother from all this, to get back at them for everything they were doing. it all kept building until suddenly… i found myself out of the cell, back in the lab, just like i was wishing for. it was the first "shortcut" i ever performed, and how i discovered my teleportation abilities."

She blinked at that, trying to imagine how it would feel to suddenly teleport out of nowhere, so very angry, and without any prior knowledge of the skill. Judging from the first time Sans had shortcutted her when they were both running late to the school one day, she could imagine it would be disorienting beyond words, especially for a child. Oh stars, all of this cruelty he'd suffered had happened when he was just a  _child_. The thought brought back the heat to her throat, but she forced it back, only allowing a few hot embers to rest on her tongue as she continued to listen.

"after that, once the shock had worn off at least, i had a lot of ideas on what to do." He said, eyelights sharpening with something like spite. "i wanted to go straight to where my brother was being held, wake him up and take him with me out of that place, but that room was locked and i couldn't get the shortcut to work again."

He lifted his free hand and tapped a phalange against the side of his skull, grin straining as it stretched a bit.

"it's all about focus mini-me, that's where you went wrong." He said in an absent tone, seemingly addressing his former self.

She hardly had time to think about how to take that before he was off again, the spiteful, angry glint in his eyelights intensifying.

"once that was off the table, i just got it in my skull that i wanted to wreck the place as much as possible. but before i just laid waste to the lab in a fit of rage, i took the time to think about it. i wanted this to hurt them… i wanted what i did to destroy them and everything they were working towards, even with how important and noble they tried to make it sound everytime they explained it to me. my emotions overruled my logic then, that's for sure. so eventually i settled on messing with something i knew i could get to, the thing that i knew would ruin them for good... the human souls."

He said that last part in a quieter voice and with another light shudder. Toriel felt herself stiffen up too, soul wracked with a momentary intense ache again. But it passed quickly and she stroked his hand gently with a thumb to encourage him to continue as well as let him know that she was okay. It seemed to work in relaxing him a little, but his tone remained unsettled when he spoke again.

"now... i can't say i really understood the weight of what the doc and his cronies said about the souls. i knew they came from humans but i'd only seen humans in drawings. i knew they were more powerful than any other souls, but i didn't grasp the idea of what ol g and the others meant when they said they could turn a monster into a "god." i just knew that absorbing them would ruin their plans, and that i could maybe be powerful enough to get back at them and free my brother… heh, goddamn idiot..."

That last part had clearly been directed at himself again. He paused as a soft, humorless wheeze of laughter left him, sounding as hollow as a cold wind whistling through the branches of a dead tree. He composed himself quickly though, far quicker than he had all the times they had discussed his past previously. Whether that was a good sign or not Toriel couldn't be sure.

"i went to the metal cooler in the center of the room where the souls were stored and unlocked it using the combination i'd seen ol g input a dozen times from my normal cell. the souls emerged from the floor all dramatic like and i crawled on top to open all the little canisters up. the second i got all the lids off though, guess who just  _had_ to show up."

"Gaster…?" Toriel asked weakly, mouth feeling dry.

"ding ding ding." He trilled in reply, tone sarcastic. "yup, ol g himself caught me. apparently, i'd set off some silent alarm somehow. but the tables had been turned then and i knew it, we both knew it. i had already gripped all the souls in my magic. i just needed to pull them to me, and i'd absorb them before he could even blink."

Toriel gulped, realizing just _how_ close he had truly come to that, wholly unaware of the consequences such a choice would have brought. That same unease swirling about in her soul was reflected in the shaky lights of her dear skeleton's eyes, and in the tone of his continuing recount.

"but like i said before, i thought about what would happen to pap if i went through with it. ol g and his team were the only ones who knew how to keep him alive in his tank, and he wasn't quite done uh… "cooking" yet. if i went on some mad rampage… he would probably not survive. that line of thinking plus the doc himself shouting me down for all he was worth and aiming every magical attack in the book at me, it all eventually broke me. and i released the souls and let the doc tear me away from them with his magic…"

This time his shivering re-emerged beyond his control, the faint rattling of his bones coming with it. His sockets narrowed a bit and his jaw set hard, clearly remembering something rather dreadful. Eventually, he looked up at her wearily, still shaking slightly.

"i'll uh… spare you the details of everything else that happened to me that night. it's not really… relevant, heh." He croaked, and the touch of pain to his voice made her soul ache for him.

Despite the cold knot in her gut the statement gave her, she nodded without hesitation, not daring to force him to talk about this any longer than he wished to. Besides, his tone made it clear enough how terrible his inevitable punishment must have been for him that night. She shuddered a bit and squeezed him tighter, feeling truly ill at the thought that any of this had happened in the kingdom she once ruled… and to the monster she now loved. Sans waited for her to meet his gaze again and then continued, voice now softer and containing a touch of fear.

"the point is, i was one moment away from absorbing those souls and becoming… stars knows what. who the hell knows what kind of destruction i would have brought the underground… how many people i would have killed... i might have even gained the power to reset, myself… i have no idea. but none of it would have been good. i would have set monsterkind back decades of work, ruined all the progress ol g and his team made. hell, maybe i would have destroyed everyone and everything… who the hell knows?"

His eyelights dimmed further, falling away from her again as he seemed to stare at nothing at all. The waves of anger and other negativity from his soul calmed then, shifting to light pulses of sadness, maybe even pity. Toriel became rather lost in thought too, mind inevitably trying to picture what Sans would have looked like after absorbing all those human souls, and the image was… truly terrifying. Her imagination came up with something that looked like an even more massive and intimidating version of GB, except with a full, almost draconic body and six skeletal wings containing each of the souls. Something resembling the beasts of legend spoken of in the days of the prophecy.

Of course, she only had what the combined version of Chara and Asriel had looked like to compare, and that was just with one human soul, so she wrote off and banished those intrusive thoughts quickly with a shiver. Sans kept that sympathetic sadness in his voice as he went on, gaze still lost on something unseen.

"i could have turned out just like flowey.  _i_  was that same scared, angry, hateful kid once. had i gone through with my impulsive little plan that night, i could have turned out just as powerful as he was too. hell, i might have been worse, since i'm pretty damn sure he didn't start out as embittered and disconnected from the world as i was at the time. all that's part of why i can see a reason to deem him worthy of mercy… and maybe even forgiveness. stars knows that... if i had taken those souls and had become lost and twisted like him… i would... hope someone would do the same for me..."

Toriel felt a sharp pang in her soul at that, finally feeling as though she truly understood. She swept a thumb gently over his hand again, letting it be her silent reply. He had gone quiet again, eyelights even hazier than before. But then his grin slowly softened up and he faced her again with a bit more strength in his voice.

"who knows? maybe this is all it will take for the little weed, some time… a lot of time… surrounded by good people, good food, bad laughs, heh. i'm not one to get my hopes up but… i don't see it as an impossibility. not like i used to."

She blinked, taking in his words with a faint feeling of surprise. Hearing such a thing from him was notable indeed, but she didn't want to call too much attention to it. Instead she simply gave him another little squeeze, resting her cheek on top of his skull. It became apparent to her then just how much truly hindered on Frisk not resetting, how much was at stake every moment the idea even flickered in their mind. But she pushed down those paranoid thoughts for the moment and responded to his small show of hope, feeling that it needed to be encouraged.

"I am sure you are right dear." She said quietly, willing up a small, wistful smile. "I believe that… those things will be the key for all of us to heal."

There was a faint warm response from his soul, meeting her own like the edge of an ocean wave. Then silence fell between them again for a while, both of them letting their stirred emotions settle. Toriel had to take the time to process his story, let it find its place amongst everything else she knew about him. Eventually Sans shifted a bit and met her eyes again, looking weary but not despairing like he had the previous days. His small smile even seemed rather genuine, and it helped her feel better about the whole situation too.

"that's the uh... gist of it, heh." He said, fiddling with one of the drawstrings of his hoodie. "i kinda went off on a tangent there though, huh? sorry bout that, you uh… have any more questions about it?"

Oh she had questions, enough to surely take the entire night and then some. But she didn't want to push this too far, especially when he seemed to be doing better at last. She shot him an uncertain look, silently questioning if he was really okay with this. But when he gave her an encouraging, stronger smile, she decided one or two more questions might be alright.

"Well…. I was wondering…" She began, still with hesitance in her voice. "If you could teleport even back then, why did you not escape the doctor's lab sooner?"

Sans took in her question for a moment, seeming to hesitate over what to say. Pain and faint sparks of fear made themselves known in the magic flowing from his soul. Regardless, he went on before she could take it back.

"well... when it was all over, ol g was sure to slap a magic inhibitor on me. it kept my magic levels from rising enough to let me teleport unless he allowed it, like when he tried to see if i could teleport outside the barrier. that went about as well as anything else they tried with me… heh. and the inhibitor could track my movements and straight up knock me out with a magical surge if need be, so there was that too."

He grit his teeth, working his jaw as though able to feel the pain of such a thing in that moment.

"plus... i didn't really know how to control it all that well back then anyway, and i would have never left that place without papyrus… even though i didn't even know him yet at the time. it's easy for me to look back now and see what i could have done. but… at the time i was just... real demoralized tori. they were sure to burn that rebellious spirit right out of me."

Those words seem to drain him somewhat as they left him, as he deflated a bit beside her and his eyelights dulled considerably. Toriel could only pray with a sickening churn of her soul that he did not mean that last part literally.

"Thank you for telling me all that dear." She said, weakly. "I am so… so sorry… I cannot imagine how..."

He cut her off before she could finish though, giving her paw a squeeze. 

"it's alright, i'm alright tori." He assured her. "I mean yah, obviously it wasn't alright what happened. but honestly, with how long its been since then and, well, everything with the resets obviously, i hardly think about those days much anymore. a lot of it has just been… buried and lost under everything else."

She wasn't sure how much she could believe that, given how troubling his reactions had been bringing up anything from that portion of his past. But she still replied with a nod and returned the comforting squeeze of his hand, not feeling it would be right to confront him about that at the moment. In truth, she should really just let the conversation stop there for his sake, but she just couldn't seem to stop another question from rising in her mind. And after another short period silence, of just taking in the soft sounds of the night and reveling in her dear skeleton's presence, she gained the will to voice it.

"Sans… do you… do you hate your father?" She asked, the words coming out slow and quiet.

Though it was a question for him, it was laced with her own guilt, with her own shame. And perhaps he knew this, because he just stared up at her for a good few seconds after the words had left her. She quickly realized the true terrible weight of those words, waving her free paw in a dismissive manner.

"You do not have to answer that if you would rather not." She assured him, wincing at her own carelessness. "It is just… with what you said about Flowey and Frisk… compared with how you talk about him... "

She worried her lip with her fangs before firmly locking her mouth shut, like she should have before ever asking the question in the first place. Sans seemed to be honestly considering it though, unease and tension becoming evident in his body again. He shivered slightly before answering, but managed to force up a grin again as well.

"i... i don't know." He admitted, eyelights flickering a bit in the low light.

"i try not to think about him too much. i mean… he got a fate far worse than death for all he did. him and all his cronies. having to watch the world go by for all eternity as a shambling empty husk, unable to really interact with anyone or anything? i couldn't even dream up a worse punishment than that. so... hating him at this point just seems like a waste of energy. but maybe that's just me being lazy, heh."

His vain attempt at humor failed him quickly, expression turning dull and those flickers of anger sparking up in his soul again.

"i don't think i could forgive him though, not like with the kiddos... they at least have the excuse that they were just kids, lost and broken and not knowing the true cost of their actions. the doc knew full well what he was doing was wrong, he understood it all down to the most minute detail. maybe that's selfish of me or hypocritical or whatever… maybe it doesn't make any goddamn sense. but... what he did… it was just…"

He trailed off, looking away with another shudder that made his fragile frame rattle softly. When he couldn't seem to find the words to complete the statement, she squeezed his small hand gently and spoke instead.

"Too… personal?" Toriel hesitantly finished for him, scarlet eyes heavy.

No reply met her words at first, he just continued to shiver and beads of sweat dripped down his skull. Then he shifted and drew his knees up to his chest, still facing away as he managed to answer.

"something like that…" He croaked, resting his skull on his patellas.

Another pause came to pass, and she turned on the bed a little to better face him. The light of the moon cast its beams down on the skeleton from the window in that moment, making his skull almost appear to glow. It was a strange thing to find lovely, but she did all the same.

"Sans..." She softly spoke his name, taking his hand in both her paws and encouraging him to face her.

He did, but kept his sockets nearly closed, hiding the eyelights that held so much of his emotions from her. She tenderly stroked the hand in her grasp, a sad smile appearing on her face.

"That is not selfish dear. I understand…" She assured him. "I may understand it a little... too well even. I am sorry that that question troubled you. Thank you for being honest."

As she had hoped, he softened up at that, opening his sockets again enough to meet her eyes. She could tell he was searching for something meaningful to say in reply, but eventually just sighed softly, likely in frustration with himself. He looked at her with something of a question in his eyelights, and he must have perceived her answer. He shifted forward a bit, getting himself on his knees and gently pulling his hand away. She understood the gesture, and stayed still as he closed the small distance between them. Only when he flopped against her chest in a clumsy little hug did she return the embrace, happy to see him be willing to be the one to initiate it.

She soothingly traced the shape of his spine for the quiet few minutes that followed. She tried not to let her guilt get the better of her, both over her thoughtless question and over thoughts of her own bitter grudge. A grudge that somehow felt both more and less justified in light of all this.

" _If only I could just… be "lazy" enough not to feel so much stress around Asgore…_ " She thought, resting her chin on the top of Sans' skull.

Perhaps that wasn't the healthiest way to go about it, but it certainly would make things better for everyone. It mattered not though, she knew she'd never be able to accomplish it anyway, such a fretful thing she was. Her thoughts returned then to where they belonged, to the small skeleton cradled in her arms. That protectiveness returned in full as her mind ran through all he had told her again, and she felt her claws extend and a few curls of smoke left her nostrils. She would never let anyone do anything like that to him ever again. There had been no one to help her dear skeleton through what could barely be called his childhood. But she was here now, and she would do all she could to protect him from whatever dared to torment him, physical or mental. Oh, if only she could somehow ensure another reset would never come, then she could really stand by that vow. She hated feeling so powerless in that regard.

Her confidence faltered then as her doubts and past mistakes crept into her mind again.

" _Sure you will protect him_ ,  _just like you did such a good job protecting everyone else in your life, right_?" Her mind taunted her, in a voice she now realized sounded somewhat similar to her mother's. " _Do not be stupid you old goat, you cannot protect anyone. You will fail him the same way you failed everyone else who was foolish enough to think you were worth relying on. It is only a matter of time._ "

The words were so harsh and clear she actually flinched somewhat, having to check to ensure she wasn't actually hearing voices. Stars, where had all that come from? Usually her inner thoughts only turned that toxic when she was at her lowest. This was… so sudden and out of place. She waited, expecting to hear it again. But her mind felt numb and empty, and it did not return. She swallowed and felt herself shiver a bit, subconsciously tightening her grip on Sans. He clearly noticed, and his voice floated up to her moments later.

"you alright t? i know that was rough, sorry if i uh… freaked you out or anything." He said, tone tinged with concern.

His voice brought her back to reality and her unease was pushed to the back of her mind. Damn these intrusive thoughts distracting her again.

"D-do not worry Sans, I am fine." She assured him, cursing the slight tremble in her voice. "I am just… so appalled anyone would ever treat you so badly…"

He seemed a touch skeptical of that answer, or maybe that was just her paranoid thoughts talking. But he settled back against her regardless, and she could feel his soul stirring with some mix of emotions that were just a bit too muted for her to pick up on. She rubbed small circles into his back again, letting the act of comforting him help ground her. Soon her momentary lapse was mostly forgotten, and the now blessed silence stretched on for a short time more until he spoke up again.

"tori… do you think you would… be willing to stay up a little longer?" He asked, sounding a bit nervous.

He shifted back from her a little as the question left him. She blinked down at him in minor surprise, unsure what had prompted it. She was certainly still pretty wide awake, especially with all the new troubling information from Sans weighing on her mind.

"Of course dear, I had planned to do so anyway." She replied, willing up a small smile. "Is there… something else on your mind that you would like to talk about?"

Sans hesitated, then nodded, his grin looking strained. He fiddled his phalanges together in an anxious manner as well.

"well... yes but…"

He shot a glance in the direction of her purse, and no doubt the diary inside it. Then he took a deep, slow breath.

"there's something i... wanna show you…" He said, meeting her eyes with more conviction. "but we'd have to go somewhere... y'know, take a shortcut."

Her brows shot up at that. Well now, that was not what she was expecting. Where on earth could he want to go at this hour? But the lingering unease in his eyelights told her he was serious about this, and that it had not been at all easy for him to ask. That was more than enough for her to agree with a somewhat confused nod, even if it did mean she'd be going somewhere in her night robes… on a school night. Oh stars above...

"A-Alright…" She conceded, lifting the blankets off of her and sitting up fully. "Where… did you you want to go?"

Relief mixed with the unease in his expression, and then he shifted to looking more serious. He sluggishly got to his feet on the bed beside her, just a little above her eye level. Once up, he stretched a bit with an audible popping sound and then slid his hands into his pockets.

"that's the uh… thing about it…" He said, shoulders slumping. "its... back in the underground."

She froze up somewhat, eyes widening. He wanted them to go back…? back to the world beneath the mountain? Surely that the would be the last thing someone with his experiences would want, would it not? She half expected him to announce he'd just been joking, but there was no humor in his eyelights to be found. Her own eyes eventually lost their surprise and mirrored his seriousness.

"Very well…" She said simply, getting up from the bed then and grabbing her purse. "But we cannot be gone too long… I do not feel right about leaving Frisk while they are sleeping, even if Papyrus is here. Plus… we should at least try to sleep at some point tonight, unless you want us both to repeat yesterday's events."

Sans seemed a little surprised at her answer, and his smile softened at it, looking a little more genuine than before. He shrugged his shoulders with the barest hint of a chuckle.

"heh, i dunno. so long as that means taking another cozy nap together on the couch, i don't think i'd mind too much." He teased, cheekbones taking on a bit of a blue hue.

That gave her momentary pause, feeling her own face heat up a bit. Goodness, since when was  _he_  the bold one? Even if she had to admit she agreed with his statement in part, she could not help but shoot him a flat look. She promptly picked up the nearest pillow and threw it at him without a word. He giggled as it struck him and waved a hand apologetically to avoid any further "attacks." The sound of his laughter melted any irritation she may have felt and she merely gave a little exasperated huff before offering him a paw with a smile.

"Come on, you bonehead." She teased back, soul warming a bit as he nodded with another chuckle and accepted her help off the bed.

Once he was down in front of her, a bit of nervousness welled up in her soul again and she eyed him with a touch of uncertainty.

"Should I… prepare myself?" She asked, not sure how else to word it.

Sans gave another little shrug and shook his head, keeping his grip on her paw.

"it's nothing… really bad or anything. though you might get a bit chilly. hard to even say that though with how com- _fur_ -tabley you're dressed, heh." He quipped, grin widening.

Toriel let out a sound that was somewhere between another huff and a laugh.

"Well I apologize, if I had known we were going to go on a little "excursion" I would have dressed properly." She said, heavy on the sarcasm.

She was blessed with another one of his wonderful little chuckles for that, and try as she might, she couldn't keep the smile off her own face either. Once the moment had passed though, he gave her paw a little squeeze and stepped closer, expression sobering up a little.

"you might want to prepare yourself for this part though... long distance jumps tend to be a bit more disorienting."

She nodded and her soul did a few anxious flip flops within her as she tensed with anticipation. With her past experiences with his shortcuts, she knew what to expect, but she wasn't at the point where she could banish her nerves before one completely. Sans counted down from three, giving her more warning than the last time they'd done this.

"one…"

The weight of what they were about to do hit her a bit then, this would be the first time she'd been back to the underground since their freedom a year ago. The place that had been her home for centuries, a place that had once been her kingdom. She had left it so quickly after finally ending her self-exile in the ruins, hardly able to take in how it had changed in the hundred years she'd been away. What would it be like? How much would she see? Was it even safe now? Where would he be taking her? What did he want to show her?

"two…"

He'd been secretive about it, only giving her vague hints so far. From his reaction earlier, she could understand that this was not something that was easy for him to do. Whatever she was going to see likely played a big role in all this. Digging into Sans' past truly was like trying to cut the heads off a hydra, for every one thing they addressed, two more would crop up to demand their attention, going on and on in that way. Okay, maybe that analogy was a little morbid, and insensitive to hydras… But the idea still rang true though.

"three."

She tensed, bracing herself, holding his hand tight. The magic building up and racing through him prickled at her paw pads. Their eyes met in that moment before he executed the shortcut, and a final thought raced through her mind.

" _Just how many secrets do you truly carry, Sans the skeleton?_ "

Then it felt as though the world tilted and fell away around her and they both vanished from her bedroom in a flash of blue light.


	19. Deeper

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo this part was supposed be one big chapter but it was turning out to be way too long (even for me lmao) so I am going to be splitting it into two parts at least. Hopefully that means the next one will be done quicker than usual tho ^^ 
> 
> Anyway, getting into some stuff here i'm excited to explore. Really enjoyed writing this chapter. Hope you enjoy~ 
> 
> (Warnings for this chapter: Mentions of child abuse)

It took Toriel a few moments to orient herself again when the jump dropped her and Sans at their destination. He hadn't been lying, this shortcut definitely had been more draining for her than the few she'd experienced before. Her head swam and she staggered a bit before righting herself again.

"easy there tori…" Sans said, gripping her paw tight in a vain attempt to ensure she stayed upright.

Again, the idea struck her as humorous through the spinning of her head. She appreciated his effort nonetheless, giving his hand a thankful little squeeze. One the initial wave of disorientation passed, she opened her eyes, but found she still couldn't see anything clearly. She also couldn't help but notice her feet step into something soft and cold with a light crunching sound.

Snow?

She rubbed the side of her head against the lingering dizziness and blinked a few times, clearing her vision a bit. Indeed, it was snow beneath her, and all around her. Icy flakes were falling from above as well, dancing in and out of her vision and lightly catching in her fur. Her breath was faintly visible too, escaping her in cloudy puffs with each one of her exhalations. The next thing that struck her was just how dark it was. She could hardly see a thing, other than vague shapes looming in the gloom around them. It was deeply jarring to be faced with such intense darkness again, stirring vague anxiety in her soul.

She and everyone else had quickly become accustomed to the light of the surface, where even at night, the stars and moon would offer some form of comforting luminescence to the world below. There was none of that here. Especially now that the Core had been shut down, leaving the automated lighting systems that once lit up the caverns offline. The Underground was now as dark as any other deep mountain cave. It was also eerily quiet, only something like trees faintly creaking in the light wind meeting her ears.

It reminded her of those first few weeks after they had all been sealed, of how the masses of monsters stumbled about in the darkness, relying on fires, glowing crystals and those with bioluminescent properties to make any sense of their new surroundings. It had been a terrible time of despair and desperation, a time where her people had relied on her and her ex-husband more than ever to give them hope. The memories of those days flashed through her mind and she shuddered lightly, and not from the sudden cold.

"Is this… Snowdin?" She asked, quickly summoning up a blaze of light purple flame in her free paw.

Its soft light could not cut through the darkness for much distance, but it did allow her to see Sans more clearly beside her. The firelight flickered, casting almost eerie shadows on his face as he turned to look up at her.

"yup, quite an en _lightened_  observation." He quipped, letting go of her paw and slipping both hands back into his jacket pockets. Thanks to the flame, she could now see the grin that came with the pun.

She let out a half-hearted chuckle in response, still a bit too light headed for it to have the impact it usually would. Also, the realization that they were so close to the Ruins brought another light shiver to her before she forced herself to focus again. She didn't need to get wrapped up in all those thoughts right now. Glancing around, she was able to see they were standing in front of a two story wooden house of some sort.

She could make out a rather plain door with a small window under an awning with a single string of unlit fairy lights winding up one of the supports. Higher up she could see there was a great deal of snow piled on top of all the visible sections of the roof as well, only exacerbated surely by a year of no one cleaning it off. Even so, the house looked quaint and homey, or at least gave off the feeling it was once happily lived in. From what she remembered from his many many stories he'd shared with her back when they had spoken through the ruins door, she recognized what the place must be.

"This is your old home, is it not?" She asked, looking down at him again.

He nodded with another grin, beginning to stroll up to the entrance and motioning for her to follow.

"yup, sure is, pretty sweet little place amiright?" He replied, slippers crunching ever so softly into the snow.

With his incredibly light weight, he hardly pressed into the snow as he walked, leaving only faint footprints. It felt quite fitting for the quiet, rather somber environment around them, especially compared to her much heavier, louder footfalls. Both of them reached the doorway and Toriel reached out to rest a paw on one of the support beams, running it over the smooth wood.

"Yes… it is." She said idly, trying to picture what the home would look like properly lit up and cared for. "So this is what you wished to show me?"

Sans stepped up to her side with something like a small chuckle and shook his head.

"uh, no, not exactly, i just gotta grab something from in here and then we'll head round back." He said, going to the front door and using his magic to open it, instead of any key.

Once open, the doorway revealed the pitch black interior of the home, and it was like staring into a great pool of ink. Toriel stepped forward and lifted her paw to hopefully bring some visibility for them to utilize, but Sans stopped her with a hand. He shot her a reassuring wink before his left eyelight flashed to life and he purposely raised up his other hand.

"gb buddy, get out here and  _shed some light_  on this situation." He quipped, in a tone she found wonderfully dorky, summoning the blaster in a brief, bright flash.

GB burst into existence in front of them, fairly large in size this time but still small enough as to fit through the doorway. He turned to look at them both and let out a joyful trill at the sight of them, eyelights glowing brightly in the low light. His gaze darted all around for a moment, briefly taking in his surroundings, then it rested on his wielder a bit longer. Sans gave his blaster a look, with some emotion Toriel couldn't quite make out past the flickering shadows on his face. But it seemed to satisfy GB, as he turned back towards the gloom of the house and opened his jaws wide.

The blaster's mouth then filled with a blaze of bright blue magic, far better at lighting up the space then her own small flame. It allowed the majority of the inside to be visible, casting it all in a strange blue luster. Both of them shot the blaster thankful looks before he darted inside first. She and Sans followed close behind.

Toriel took it all in as she entered the house and Sans went to shut the door behind them. It was a fairly small interior, with a somewhat quirky design to it. It was mostly comprised of one large room, with a simple staircase leading up to what she assumed were the doors to two bedrooms. There was another room ahead of her, likely what once was a kitchen, judging from the tiled floor. It stood in stark contrast to the squiggly striped carpet under her feet, which felt somewhat rough, perhaps having long lost its softness to years of wear and tear.

She could see plenty of the carpet too, for the house was almost completely empty. The skeleton brothers had taken the majority of their belongings with them during their move to the surface, keeping much of it for their new home and giving away what they planned to replace to other settling monsters who needed it. The only thing remaining in fact was a single sock lying on the ground near the entrance to the kitchen, with a bunch of sticky notes attached to it. It wasn't hard for her to figure out who it had belonged to, given that the owner in question had quite the tendency of doing the exact same thing in their current home as well. It made a bit of amusement well up in her soul, but the generally somber sight of the abandoned house kept it from developing into a laugh.

She looked back at Sans to find he was clearly feeling that somberness too, and far more than her, unsurprisingly. He was staring at the empty shell of his old home with that now familiar far away look in his eyelights, making them appear hazy and unfocused. The sheer multitude of memories he must have for this place became apparent to her in that moment, and she could only imagine how many conflicting emotions being here again had stirred in him. His eyelights slowly drifted about the place and he acted as though he had forgotten she was even there. 

After a moment of hesitation, she stepped over to him and gently laid a paw on his shoulder, if only to remind him of her presence there with him. It snapped him out of his stupor, but his expression remained faintly pained as he looked up at her, grin strained and tight on his face. There was a moment where she expected him to keep up forcing that smile and put on an act of being fine, the same behavior that had triggered her concerns over him in the first place.

But all that had transpired between them since then had left them in a vastly different position than that night on the porch. There was far more trust and understanding between them now, leaving such denial rather pointless. So instead, he let his grin fall and didn't bother to hide his clear unease, tensing up a little under her paw.

"its uh… rough being here y'know? seeing the place like this…" He admitted, in a soft voice.

She gave his shoulder a gentle squeeze, and she heard GB give a low, garbled whine from beside her as well, as though agreeing with his wielder. Again, her mind pictured how the home must have looked full of the skeleton brothers' furniture and personal items, as well as how they must have made it such a warm, lively place. She would have loved to see it back then. His sadness was something she could relate to, she knew all too well what it felt like to come back to a place you once called home after leaving it behind.

"Of course, naturally." She replied, tone gentle. "I am sorry dear. Do you… need a minute?"

He blinked, looking as though he were considering her question. But then he shook his head with something like a weary chuckle.

"nah… i'll be okay." He replied, willing up a smile that was smaller but more genuine. "just gotta grab something from my old room. you can wait down here if you want."

Toriel let her paw linger on his shoulder for a moment before lightly tightening her grip again. She glanced up at the doors on the floor above them before speaking once more.

"I would like to accompany you if that is alright. I... do not feel right about us splitting up while we're down here." She said, some of her unease born from the dark eeriness of the Underground evident in her voice.

Sans accepted her answer without question, giving a little nod. He even seemed a bit relieved for it. After a moment, he hesitantly reached to grip the paw on his shoulder. She lifted it to allow him to take it more properly, and once he had, he met her eyes with a stronger, if more sheepish grin.

"w-we should… uh, stay close then y'know? even with gb here to  _lighten_ the mood, it's pretty easy to trip in here, h-heh." He said, and even in the low light she could see him blush a bit.

It seemed that his earlier bit of boldness was gone for the moment, leaving him his usual flustered self in these situations. She met his nervous stuttering with a soft smile and an equally soft laugh at his joke, enveloping his small hand in her own.

"Very well, lead the way then funnybones." She quipped with a wink.

That quickly seemed to relax him again, his expression softening up with an amused twinkle in his eyelights. Then the three of them headed towards the stairs. On the way, they passed the sock lying on the floor and Toriel couldn't help but question it.

"Is there a reason that that was left behind?" She asked in an amused tone.

He shot a glance at it and gave a small, wheezy chuckle.

"long story, or rather, incredibly dumb story." He said, flashing her a wide grin. "let's just say its better for all humor everywhere if that sock never leaves that spot."

His answer didn't really make any sense, but it was enough to make her laugh again, so she accepted it with a little roll of her eyes. They made it to the stairs and it quickly became apparent why'd he'd had concerns about her tripping. There was no rail to hold on to, or to prevent one from tumbling off the side. In fact, the whole upper floor had nothing to prevent one from stumbling off and falling into the living room below. It seemed like quite the safety hazard to her and she met the sight with a frown.

"A bit dangerous, is it not?" She asked as they carefully climbed the staircase, which creaked beneath her heavier steps. "Did you not ever worry about falling?"

He was facing away from her as he led the way up the stairs, but another, somewhat sheepish chuckle let her know his reaction to that.

"we uh… were pretty used to it. but there were a few times where one of us took a spill or two." He admitted. "we used to line the bottom with cushions in the early days just in case, but like i said, eventually we just kinda… got used to it. the house came that way, and we enjoyed its odd setup, gave it charm. pap also said it was a good reminder for me to pay attention when i stumbled out of bed, heh."

As his explanation ended and she responded with a hum of acknowledgement that still a little disapproving, they reached the top and were left facing the two bedroom doors. Further down the hall it looked like there was another door that led to a small balcony of some type. One of the bedroom doors was totally blank and the other looked as though it had once been covered in some decorations that had been improperly torn off, leaving bits of tape and colorful paper dotted about it. It wasn't hard to guess that it had once been Papyrus' room, seeing as his door in their surface home was just as much of a spectacle.

GB floated close by, catching her eye as he hovered over the ledge they had just been discussing. There was something of a grin on his face as he continued to feed the bright blaze of magic in his jaws.

"showoff." Sans chided him, playfully.

The blaster rumbled softly with something like laughter, dipping up and down a bit in place. Once content in his little cheeky display, he zipped over behind them again and followed them as they crossed over to the blank, unassuming door on the right. Sans hesitated just a moment before opening it with a satisfying click and drawn out creak. GB hurried into the room first once she and Sans stepped aside, quickly opening his jaws wider to fill the room with light. Such a helpful thing he was.

Toriel reached up and gave him a pat on the muzzle as she passed him on her way into the room. He responded with a pleased, resonating purr that seemed to vibrate through the whole room. In the light he continued to offer, she could see the entirety of the empty bedroom. It was rather small, fitting for him she supposed, and cleared of any furniture or decoration whatsoever. All there was to see was a single window in the back right corner, and the same squiggly carpet from before. Though in this room the carpet was also marked with faint stains here and there, their origins being something she didn't really want to think about too much.

As she wondered what Sans could have possibly come here for, he headed straight for the back left corner. He knelt down and began picking at a section of carpet, pulling it up from the floor.

"i hid a spare key here before we left, a key to where we're going." He said, sitting back as he pulled out the key in question. It was silver, and it glinted in the wavering light, catching her eye.

He stared down at if for a few moments, turning it over in his hands before getting to his feet and facing her again with a stronger smile. There was something mischievous about it, and it made her feel a touch suspicious. He slipped the key behind his back and grinned even wider.

"y'know... i originally only intended to let people see what i'm gonna show ya if they knew a certain secret codeword. as a kinda test. so uh… i'm gonna have to hear you say it before we move on, even if we'll be breaking my original rules a bit."

Toriel tilted her head a little at that, quirking a brow at him but still keeping a smile of her own on her face. She tried to figure out if this was a prank or something along those lines, but came up with nothing.

"Oh really, a test?" She asked in reply, eyeing him with amusement. "May I remind you that  _you_  were the one who asked  _me_  to come to see this?"

He failed to restrain a snort but quickly faced her again, not to be budged from this it seemed.

"oh c'mon tori, just play along k?" He said with a wink.

She heaved a dramatic sigh, still grinning all the while.

"Very well, what is this codeword?" She asked, crossing her arms in front of her.

His eyelights shimmered with delight and he straightened up to his full height, raising one hand as if to direct her.

"repeat after me." He said, waggling one phalange. "i… am the legendary fartmaster."

"What?!" She blurted out in response, before nearly doubling over with laughter." But Sans that is so… what kind of codeword-"

Her words were lost to another bleat of laughter, utterly unprepared to hear something like that. GB joined in with his own low, rumbling chuckles as well, sending up a few bursts of blue sparks from his jaws. Sans glanced between them and looked as though he were struggling not to laugh as well, but he managed to remain firm.

"c'mon, saaay it." He said, leaning forward on his toes a bit.

"Oh fine, you bonehead." She conceded through her giggles, wiping her eyes of lingering tears of mirth.

If he was going to make her do something as silly as this, then she would counter by doing it in the most dignified, unsuitable way possible. It was only fitting after all. She cleared her throat once she could manage it and drew herself up, the same way she would when she was about to address her subjects back when she ruled as queen. Putting on the most serious face she could muster and speaking with her old projected royal tone, she said the codeword.

"I… am the legendary fartmaster."

The words hung in the air for a moment, then Sans cracked and erupted into giggles, covering his face and nearly falling over from the assault of apparent sheer hilarity. Despite his initial confidence, it seemed that she had won this round. Her declaration had GB chuckling madly too, causing the light he was providing for them to waver and flicker as his jaws swung up and down. She was the one to maintain her stoicness this time though, crossing her arms and putting forth a victorious grin. Meanwhile Sans continued to be consumed with laughter, the sound of it and the happy rattle of his bones filling the small room and making her soul swell within her.

_Stars above, did she ever love to hear that wonderful laugh of his._

"oh m-my god i can't b-believe you actually said it." He gasped through his wheezing. "c-congrats tori, you are officially qualified."

She beamed in response, fangs flashing in the wavering light. Once Sans and GB had composed themselves and stable light returned to the room, she gave her response. To say she was feeling akin to her younger, more immature self was putting it lightly.

"Well, I am truly honored." She said, laying a paw on her chest in a dramatic manner. "May this qualification bring us closer together, rather than tear us a _fart_."

The pun hit a bullseye, as she knew it would, and she watched him succumb to another fit of breathless chuckling.

"y-you're gonna k-kill me here." He wheezed, clutching his middle.

Only then did she allow a few more giggles of her own to escape her again, as she stepped over and wrapped an arm around his shoulders to ensure the power of her truly fantastic pun did not send him to the floor. He shook with a few more tapering giggles before he was able to speak again, looking up at her with eyelights that briefly looked to be star-shaped.

"hoo geez…" He breathed, coughing once. "you... you are so amazing tori…"

She couldn't help but blush at that, and was grateful for the umpteenth time for her fur's ability to hide it. Still, the circumstances behind the compliment were so absurd that it made another snort escape her.

"Infantile little puns like that make me amazing?" She asked with amused, and slightly flustered, sarcasm.

He nodded, taking another deep breath to ensure he could return to his usual casual tone.

"yes." He declared without a hint of irony. "that, and a million other things..."

His eyelights darted away from her gaze at that, and a blush of his own appeared on his face. Before anything more could be said on the subject though, he took her paw again and began back towards the door.

"c'mon, let's go do what i brought you here for. don't want to stay down here too long right?"

Still not fully recovered from his earlier words, she just offered a nod and followed after him. GB was right behind her, ensuring they didn't fall off that infamous ledge on the way back down. As they walked, the initial somberness and unease of the dark, abandoned cavern they were in settled over them again. Silence stretched between the trio, even GB did not offer so much as a grumble as they exited the house again. Being outside made the oppressive feelings worse, as they were again faced with the endless, all encompassing darkness in every direction. GB was a beacon of light in this darkness, and she and Sans stayed close to him, as though afraid the shadows could reach out and grab them if they ventured too far from the safety of his flame.

While they had been walking, she had pulled her phone out of her purse to check the time and ensure there were no panicked messages from anyone who had discovered their absence from the house. Luckily there was no such thing, only a picture from Bonnie of her and her family at the opening of her sister's new inn earlier that week. How lovely. And the night was still young, it was only 11:04pm. They had not been down here as long as she had feared. She was going to question how her phone still had service here with the Core shut down, but seeing as it was Alphys who had given her this one, it was likely a long and lengthy scientific explanation she wouldn't understand anyway. She pocketed it again as Sans led her around the side of his former home.

In GB's light, they could see what looked to be the entrance of a cellar attached to the house, covered in snow. She could see from the few clean spots that it was made of some sort of metal, and was locked with a large, heavy duty padlock. She eyed it warily, the idea of going even further underground not sitting well with her.

"In there?" She asked, a hint of nervousness in her voice.

Sans nodded and slowly released her paw, expression flat and hard to read. He trudged over to the double doors in silence, leaning down to insert the key in the lock and give it a sharp twist. It unlocked with a loud click and he levitated it away with his magic to let it rest on the snowy ground beside the entrance. Then he brushed off the worst of the snow with a sweep of his arm. Toriel stepped up beside him as he curled his small hands around the now visible door handles. He hesitated for a moment, and she couldn't see his face to know the emotion driving it. But the air suddenly felt heavy, and a pool of dread began swirling about in her gut.

The moment passed though and he pulled open the doors, having to strain a bit to do so. Both sides his the ground with a loud thunk, sending a spray of snow into the air. Now all three of them could see into the pitch black interior of the place beyond. She felt a chill run down her spine looking into it, almost feeling as though it were some great maw that wished to swallow her up. GB mirrored her unease, whining and retreating back a bit from the opening. They both glanced at him as he did so and Sans stepped over to lay a comforting hand on his blaster's muzzle, giving it a few pats.

"s'okay buddy, you can wait outside. i know you don't like it in there." He said, voice suddenly quite weak. "you keep watch for us okay?"

GB nodded, clearly relieved, and settled down in the snow next to the entrance, positioning himself so he'd be able to see if anyone… or any _thing_ , was approaching the area. Sans turned back towards the open cellar and Toriel could see trepidation and maybe even some pain in his eyelights, flickering in GB's magical firelight. He noticed her staring and met her eyes again before motioning for her to follow. She swallowed hard, but did so without comment, walking with him to the dark tunnel before them. As they took their first steps inside, she had to duck, as it was clearly not designed with a monster as tall as her in mind. She instinctively summoned another small flame in her paw as well in order to better see where she was going. Sans stopped in response and lightly touched her arm, drawing her attention and halting her own advance as well.

"its okay tori, don't worry bout it." He said, indicating to the small ball of fire swirling in her paw. "the lights should still work in here. The power for this room is uh… off the grid."

As if to prove his point, he hit a button on the wall she had not noticed and lights sputtered to life in front of them, some with a few sprays of sparks. The illumination they offered revealed they were heading down a short staircase into some tiled room below. She promptly doused her flame, blinking against the sudden harsh, artificial light. Some of her nerves eased now with the knowledge that she was not walking into total darkness, but her soul still trembled with dread as they carefully made their way into the room below. Just what was she about to see?

Sans stepped inside first, immediately heading left without even pausing. In contrast, she stopped at the foot of the stairs, looking around the small room and trying to take it all in. It was a long, narrow room with a purple tiled floor and plain gray-blue walls. The almost sterilized nature of it compared to Sans' bedroom was shocking, making her wonder if this was truly a place that belonged to him. It reminded her of a doctor's office or perhaps… a lab. Indeed, that idea seemed to ring true as she spotted what appeared to be a long work table area built into the wall, with a row of organizational drawers below it. There was a single set of blueprints sitting on the table as well, but she could hardly pay it any mind, distracted by the most eye catching thing the room had to offer.

At the end of the room was some hulking thing covered by a purple sheet, nearly reaching the ceiling in height. Sans was standing beside it with his back to her, looking up at it. From how utterly still he was standing, she wondered if he had become lost in his thoughts again. Her head was presently spinning with questions regarding everything she was seeing, but that concern gave her focus again. She approached the skeleton cautiously, the claws on her feet clinking lightly on the cool tile below.

A heavy feeling of somberness was even more evident in this place than the house. And in this case, it felt like that feeling was part of the place itself, rather than a result of abandonment. It seemed to weigh down on her with every step she took, every breath she drew, as though palpable feelings of despair and regret were thickening the air itself. It brought a deep sense of weariness to her soul that seemed to drain some vitality right out of her.

"Sans?" She said his name, nerves still evident in her voice. "What... is this place?"

He didn't flinch, or give any reaction at all for a moment. She was about to try again, but then he did finally speak, shoulders sagging.

"that's... not an easy thing to answer." He replied, voice even but dull. "it's a lot of things… a lab… a hideaway… a repository… but mainly its where i stash potentially dangerous stuff from the past, to keep it hidden from my bro and everyone else, mostly stuff relating to ol doctor gaster. and i… think its stuff you should see before..."

He paused, then he seemed to give up on finishing that statement. He turned to face her then, hazy eyelights drifting over to the work table and the drawers beneath it.

"go on and take a look in those drawers first." He said, in a somewhat quieter voice. "i think the stuff in there... mostly speaks for itself…"

She blinked at his request, soul twinging with anxiety. He was acting strange, perhaps a result of the somber, oppressive atmosphere of this place that she had detected. But some of it was clearly just from how difficult this was for him. It reminded her of that first day they'd spoken beneath the old willow tree, where'd he'd been gripped with such terrible anxiety over unveiling the dreaded secrets of his past, that if left him as tense as a wire on the verge of snapping. She could see a lot of that same fear in his eyelights now, though the continually growing trust between them was there too, and it seemed to be reasonably tempering the dread he felt.

It was that trust that led her to nod and do as he said then, walking over to the row of drawers. In truth, she wanted to address that massive covered thing behind him more than anything else. But if this was the way he wished to handle this, then so be it. Her resoluteness wasn't without falter though, as nervous thoughts crept in during a brief moment of hesitation. She thought she knew the worst of the terrible burdens that Sans carried… but what if she was wrong? No, there was nothing that could possibly compare to what he'd told her about the resets. If she could handle that, she could handle anything.

With that in mind, she reached down to open the first drawer, ignoring the blueprint sitting on top of the work area for the moment. A mess of papers and binders met her eyes, so thoroughly stuffed into the small space of the drawer that a few burst out once it was opened. She was able to quickly grab them out of the air, and held one up to her face to get a better look.

The paper was covered in diagrams relating to some kind of tube system, as well as a mass of text. But she couldn't read a word of it, it was all made up of strange symbols like hands, bombs, emoticons, pencils, diamonds, squares and so much more. A quick glance at the other papers in her paws revealed their contents were very much the same, diagrams and the bizarre symbols.They reminded her of the "emojis" she had been learning to use on her phone over the past year, what were such things doing on documents like these though?

The confusion she felt must have been evident on her face, as Sans stepped up to her side and was quick to offer something of an explanation.

"those are uh… all of the doc's personal research documents i could find after the… accident." He said, eyelights not locked onto her or the papers in question, but the blueprint on the table. "i took them and everything else referring to the project that resulted in me and my bro, as well as anything on the machine we had been working on."

His words made something click in her mind, and she turned briefly to stare up at the massive covered object behind her. The machine… the one he'd told her about. The one that could detect and display visuals of timelines, the one that Gaster believed could allow travel between timelines, that had to be what this was.

Looking back at Sans and the blueprints on the table only furthered her conclusion, as now she could see that they were indeed blueprints for a machine, also covered in those strange symbols. She wasn't very knowledgeable in such things, but she could tell that at least. The odd symbols were a mystery to her… and yet, she couldn't deny they felt familiar, stirring up a faint sense of recollection like an itch inside her mind.

"I see…" She said softly in response to his words, trying make sense of it all.

Glancing back down at the papers in her paws, she went on with a question.

"Sans, why are the doctor's works written in these… symbols?" She asked, turning one document to the side a bit as though it would somehow help her understand it. "are they some kind of… encoding measure?"

The sound of him drumming his phalanges on the edge of the work table met her ears then, seemingly thinking over his answer. Eventually, he sighed lightly and then climbed up onto the table to sit with his legs dangling off it. Then he patted the spot beside him, indicating for her to do the same. She tilted her head a bit in confusion, but did as he asked, sitting down beside him and laying the papers in her lap as she waited for him to speak again.

"those are uh… wingdings." He eventually said, pausing in his tapping. "i dunno how much you know or remember about us skeletons, but we are named after our uh… unusual speaking patterns. if you perform a check on us, you'll see our words look different than most monsters when we talk. apparently, its some weird inherited trait with our kind, heh. had to figure that out myself back then to find out my true name."

He managed to will up a bit of a smile at that, but it dwindled quickly as he went on.

"there are hundreds of "fonts" as our kind came to call them, that a skeleton can be born with. but the names repeat over history, or so i read. so there have been a lot of "comic sanses" and "papyrus..es..es" before us, until our kind bit the dust that is. but ol g was _"special"_ among skeletons."

That last part was marked by air quotes and an intensely sarcastic tone. He laid his hands back down with an audible clack and he curled his phalanges tightly around the edge of the table before continuing.

"he was born with  _two_  fonts, wingdings, and aster. hence his dumb name. and if that wasn't enough, wingdings is like, one of the rarest fonts of all or whatever. Somehow all that destined him for greatness or something. wingdings was his primary font though, the aster part only ever showed itself in rare instances, like when he was in the heat of a fight or something. most of the time it was just wingdings, which is all symbols. so you have to learn the cipher to understand his words when he talks. doesn't help that his speech was weird as hell too. so the old bastard mostly just signed things to people, i was one of the few monsters who could understand him when he spoke aloud. sure as hell wish i didn't."

He stopped to rub at his skull, as though nursing a headache. She took in all he had said as he did so, a thoughtful frown on her face. She might have heard all this about skeletons before… it sounded familiar at least. Perhaps Gaster himself had told her these things in a time lost to her. The thought made another wave of unease wash over her, not at all liking how it felt as though the former royal scientist's shadow was constantly looming over her thoughts. Sans looked back at her and his expression became a bit apologetic.

"sorry, i'm rambling again huh? and i didn't even actually answer your question." He grumbled at himself, grin straining a bit. "the doc wrote all his notes in his font, it came naturally to him. me and papyrus kinda do the same thing. and yah, ol g did do it in part to give his work another level of "security." wouldn't want normal monsters finding out you're making a bunch of living weapons amiright?"

He spoke that last part with bitter sarcasm, and his eyelights wavered with a flicker of anger again. They also drifted over to the covered machine across from them for a few moments before he tore them away again, beads of sweat appearing on his skull. Toriel nodded in absent acknowledgement of his words, understanding it on a surface level at least. His behavior was distracting her from dwelling on it too much though.

She could tell the stress of all this was beginning to get to him again, even though they had only looked through one drawer. Toriel had a hunch that he would not bring her all the way here just to show her a few documents. The way he was acting, he likely intended to show her everything he had hidden in this place. That was much easier said than done though, as he was certainly finding out.

She set the papers she'd been holding aside and rested a paw on his shoulder, giving it a hopefully comforting rub. He shifted a little closer in response, gratefully leaning against her side. He closed his sockets and drew in a deep, slow breath before releasing it with a heavy sigh that trailed into an empty chuckle.

"heh, i-i thought i'd be better at handling this by now. especially since i thought i was... finally starting to get at least a little… y'know… better..." He rasped, sockets opening to reveal eyelights that became hazy and dull again as the words left him.

Toriel felt her soul pang harshly for him, and she had to swallow against a forming lump in her throat before she could reply.

"You  _are_  getting better dear." She assured him, giving his shoulder a squeeze. "But healing is not a straight shot, especially with what you have been through. There is no shame in admitting you have pushed yourself too far before you were ready."

She shifted a bit in preparation to stand, moving the documents and all their confusing, deplorable content aside.

"How about we head home for tonight?" She offered, shooting him a gentle smile. "Clearly this place… it carries a lot of terribly troubling memories for you. We got through plenty of that when you told me about the resets, did we not? We can always come back here some other time. It is not going any-"

She shut her mouth in a flash, realizing the terrible mistake it could be to say those words. It was far too close to that other dreadful statement she had made days before, the one that had hurt him so deeply. She didn't dare say anything along those lines ever again, knowing all too well now that it was an assurance she had no right to offer. So she instead quickly amended it, going on in a softer tone.

"It might be best for you to wait awhile, let yourself recover from everything else before you dive into something as… intense as this again. Yes?"

She was glad to see no trace of despair in his expression in reaction to her words. He still looked awfully tense though, sweat continuing to drip down his skull. There was only a beat where he seemed to actually consider her offer, then met her words with a stiff shake of his head. She could feel a kind of fierce defiance grip him then, and she was reminded again of that first day beneath the willow tree. The words that followed only solidified the comparison.

"no... i… i have to do this." He said firmly, eyelights sharp and quivering. "i've been trying to build up the nerve to bring you here since the beginning. i need you to know tori… and i need to…"

He just couldn't finish that statement, similar to before. A shudder ran through him, and his eyelights rested briefly on the great shape of the covered machine again before returning to meet her gaze. Those little lights were plaintive, nearly desperate and seemed to look through her straight to her very soul.

"please tori…" He pleaded, shakily reaching for and taking her other paw. "j-just this one time, don't… don't let me shut down and run away from all this, like i  _always_  do."

Those last words summoned a glimmer of tears to his sockets, and his eyelights flickered before strengthening again. Subconsciously, she threaded her fingers with his thin phalanges, keeping her gaze locked with his as her soul blazed with a surge of mixed emotion. She knew not why he felt he needed so badly to do this now. But if this was so important to him, then she would certainly see it through, the consequences of the exhaustion she'd surely endure tomorrow be damned.

She could fret over Frisk but… in all reality, her child was a saviour of an entire civilization. Her constant worrying over them was, admittedly, more for her own sake than theirs. They could certainly handle one night where she was absent while they slept. With that last reservation banished, her eyes hardened with determination and she gave him a nod in reply.

"Okay… Go on then, Sans." She said, squeezing his hand and leaning close so that their foreheads touched just a bit. "Show me all you wish me to see, however long it takes. I will not leave your side. I promise."

As those words left her, the great covered mass of the machine across from them loomed over her and her dear skeleton, as if watching, listening.

And waiting.


	20. Ashes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, this one *v* I was able to get it done earlier than usual since I technically had it and the last one as one big chapter during planning but I think it works much better this way. I've been wanting to write this part for a while~ Hope you enjoy. 
> 
> (Warnings for this chapter: mentions of child abuse.)

Once the declaration had left Toriel's lips, Sans blinked in response, causing one of the tears that had welled up in his sockets to roll down his face. His confrontational spirit shifted then to weary resoluteness, even if it was still tempered by fear. A swipe of his sleeve across his face took care of any lingering moisture and he nodded gratefully with some semblance of a smile.

"okay... th-thanks tori." He sniffed, eyelights softening again to something far warmer.

She managed a smile back at him, and sat up properly again with a hint of a blush when she realized how close their faces were. Sans didn't seem to notice as much, wasting little time in composing himself and turning to look towards the other drawers. With a flash of his left eyelight and a small movement of his hand, the drawers opened and their contents were levitated out and over to him.

"the next drawer over just has more notes from the doc and his team." Sans said as he let the things he'd brought over settle on his lap. "this is the stuff i think is… more important for you to see."

Toriel slowly looked over the pile, seeing what looked like a small photo album with something sticking out of it and a clip-on badge on top. The badge is what he chose to hand over to her first and she accepted it gently into her paws, tilting it in the light to better see what was on it. A picture of a much younger Sans looked back at her, perhaps in his mid to late teens. He was offering a nervous little smile as though the picture had been taken without him properly preparing himself. He was dressed in an oversized lab coat and had a delightful little gap between his front teeth. His eyelights were much brighter too, not yet displaying the deep despairing exhaustion that they often did now.

The sight stirred her soul with the realization that she had never seen an image of a younger version of him. She had been convinced such a thing wouldn't exist, given the circumstances of his early life. Yet here it was, and she couldn't help let a small smile appear on her face as she looked at it.

She was so caught up in the picture she nearly forgot to look at the rest of it. It displayed his name as "Comic Sans (Sans)" in the middle, though the print there was a bit off center, as though it had been haphazardly added later on. The top marked him as being part of "Core Laboratories Intern Group B" and having "Clearance Level 4." At the bottom was some smaller text, and reading it made her soul churn a bit within her.

"Supervisor: Dr. W.D Gaster."

Her lips twitched with the beginnings of a snarl, imagining what this youthful Sans had to endure because of his truly wretched father. With an image now to tie into all the stories he had told her, it made the picture of the abuse he'd suffered feel all the more real. Her magic boiled inside her for a moment, flames gathering in the back of her throat. But then she forced herself to relax and only let a thin plume of hot smoke escape through her nostrils. Sans didn't seem to notice her anger, perhaps too caught up in whatever dark thoughts haunted him in this place.

"that was my badge from when i worked under gaster with alphys and the others." He said finally, tightening his grip on the photo album still in his lap. "i was still wearing it when… i escaped with pap. so i kept it here too."

Toriel swallowed the last of her anger and softened her expression again, sweeping one of her thumbs slowly over the picture of him.

"I see…" She replied softly, before a sad little smile appeared on her face. "You were… quite cute back then dear."

He gave something of a breathy chuckle at that, quirking a brow ridge at her.

"uh... thanks?" He responded back, a bit uncertainly. "personally, i think i look like a… chubby little dork."

Her smile became a touch more legitimate at that and she gave his head a pat.

"You still  _are_  a chubby little dork Sans." She teased lightly, fangs flashing through her grin. "though... perhaps chubby is not the most accurate word to use in your case."

Even with all his stress and anxiety, he managed a little snort of amusement at that and his weary eyelights brightened a little.

"right, good point. how about,  _big-boned_ then?" He quipped back with a weak shrug.

They both shared a little laugh at that, and it was encouraging to find they could find some reason to joke even in such heavy circumstances as these. It helped them both relax a little again. But some of his earlier tension returned as she handed the badge back to him and accepted the small photo album into her paws. She could sense this was a good deal more important to all this than the badge was. She handled it with utmost care, letting herself take in the cover for a few moments.

The whole album was clearly handmade, painted blue and bound with slightly uneven leather backings. There was something sticking out of bindings, perhaps a card of some sort, but she left that be for the moment. On the front of the photo album were the words "B-Squad" made from what looked like cut out letters from various sources, and surrounded by a colorful array of cute stickers. Below that was a black and white picture far more impactful than the small one on his badge. This one also displayed a younger Sans in that same lab coat and bearing that almost shy little smile from before. But around him this time were a group of other teenage monsters, also all donning the same matching lab coats.

The picture gave off a feeling that it was spontaneously shot, catching many off guard in a fun little moment. They all seemed quite close, with bright smiles on their faces and some with their arms thrown happily over each other's shoulders. A younger Alphys was standing beside Sans wearing some sort of cat eared headband and making two peace signs. she was also noticeably more bright eyed and joyful looking in it than she was today.

Apart from them, there was a stocky two headed dragon monster posing dramatically behind them, a small mole monster with big round glasses, a bat monster excitedly taking off mid picture, rendering them blurry, a clear jelly like monster with many tentacle arms all holding various things, a small jackalope monster near the back, clearly taken off guard with the photo and about to bite into a sandwich, a tall and lanky frog monster covered in freckles and wearing sunglasses, and a short and stocky zombie ghoul who had one hand on Sans' shoulder and was holding a soda bottle in the other. There was also a younger monster off to the side, one that looked noticeably like her student Kid, except they had only two spikes on their head and wore checkerboard patterned shirt.

She turned to look through a few more pages, seeing pictures of the group hard at work in the labs, posing with blueprints and finalized projects, enjoying group lunches, being generally silly with one another and even an especially cute one of them all asleep on a large couch together. All of the photos had a common thread when it came to Sans though, and that thought escaped her lips unbidden.

"You look happy." She said simply, red eyes heavy with emotion.

He stiffened a bit, clearly recognizing the true weight of the statement. His eyelights became hazy again as he looked at the photo album, then back to her.

"i was…" He replied weakly, seemingly lost for any other words at that point.

His grip on the edge of the work table tightened, and eventually he drew a deep breath and managed to continue on talking.

"my lab group… intern group b, they all made that for me as a gift when me and alphys were chosen to go work with ol g on his machine." He said, as her eyes continued sweeping across the photos. "she got a matching one too but… i don't know if she still has it. it was… a goodbye present essentially."

The double meaning he intended with those words was not lost on her, and she met his gaze again, her soul aching for him. These were his friends, his first real friends by his own admission, who it seemed he was far closer with than she had previously considered. And based on what he had told her about them before…

"They… died... did they not?" She asked quietly, running her paw lightly over one of the pictures as she spoke.

The question caused him to visibly flinch a bit, but he nodded, grimly.

"yah…" He rasped, just above a whisper. "during the same incident that "killed" the doc and his team. a lot of monsters died that day when the core went critical, you could ask alphys or asgore about it and they'd tell you the same, even if they can't remember the whole truth of the event. the area that my group were in… the whole floor above… there was an explosion and it... it c-collapsed on top of them. me and al were the only ones not there at the time, the only members of our group who… survived."

His voice shook ever so slightly as he said that, and Toriel moved to rest a paw on his shoulder again, hoping to offer what meager comfort she could in the face of all this. The photo album she held suddenly felt a hundred pounds heavier with the emotional weight she was now aware it carried. Hearing about tragic events like these that had transpired while she was hidden away in the ruins inevitably stirred guilt in her, thoughts of ways she could have maybe prevented it from happening had she been there. She could only imagine how much similar guilt her dear skeleton was feeling as well.

"Oh Sans… I am so incredibly sorry…" She murmured helplessly, giving his shoulder a squeeze. "I can see that they were all very dear to you…"

He didn't say anything in reply for a bit, eyelights nearly going out until he closed his sockets entirely. The heavy waves of negative emotions she could feel from his soul confirmed her earlier thought. The guilt and grief there was muted but still stung as it met her magic, leaving a lingering sort of ache. He eventually just gave a weary nod in reply. In the continuing silence that followed, Toriel felt another question force itself to the forefront of her mind, but she hesitated speaking it. Remembering his dedication to this though, she gained the will to ask it.

"Did they… also get… shattered? Erased?" She asked, throat suddenly feeling dry.

He re-opened his sockets a little with a blink, they were still dark, but she could still somehow tell he was looking at the album again. A little shake of his head answered her question.

"no, they didn't fall into the unstable magic field like the doc and his cronies did. but they still didn't get the remembrance they deserved…" He said, voice weak. "all their dust was lost in the destruction, so none of them got a proper funeral. And sometimes… especially nowadays, it really does feel like they were just... forgotten. but then again… i've never had the guts to seek out their families or anything, so what do i know?"

The words left the air feeling heavy again, thick with the feelings that came with re-stirring the pains of old grief, feelings she knew all too well. 

"I see… I see..." Toriel murmured somewhat absently in response, stroking his shoulder gently as she did so.

She didn't know what to say, and had to gather her thoughts before she could think of any reply. Her eyes continued looking over the faces of Sans' old lab group. So youthful and kind they all seemed. The knowledge she was looking at monsters who were long dead, and from such a truly terrible accident, brought back that sick, sad feeling in her soul. It mixed with his own despairing emotions to the point where she only felt more and more choked up. She knew if she tried to speak again at that point, she'd no doubt start weeping for his sake.

So instead of offering him any words of comfort, she set those painful, precious photos aside and silently offered him a hug. He gladly accepted it, shifting over so she could wrap him snugly in her arms. The light shivers that had been gripping him before slowly ceased then, and his soul's magic evened out a bit. Both of them stayed like that for a little while, enough to settle their emotions again somewhat. But they both knew that he had much more to say and show her, and they couldn't let themselves be distracted from the task at hand for too long. Still, Toriel kept Sans close in that embrace when she asked her next question, seeing no real reason to let go unless he wished it.

"Sans… I do not believe you have told me…. what  _was_  the accident that made the core "go critical" as you said? It seems that this incident was at the center of a lot of what you have been telling me." She said, keeping her tone mindfully gentle and cautious.

He remained rather still in her arms for a moment, just pressing a bit closer. But the reaction from his soul told her that he had heard her words, and eventually his response came.

"you're right…" he said simply, voice muffled by her robes.

With that, he took a deep breath and then sat back a bit as to ensure he could speak clearer. As he did, his hazy eyelights briefly met her gaze again, communicating his gratitude before he spoke again.

"okay…" He breathed, then cleared his metaphorical throat. "you know how i told you that my bro was… the perfected version of what i was the prototype of? well... that didn't mean that he didn't make mistakes. he was way more powerful than me, he still is. and back then, he couldn't always control the strength of his magic attacks, even with all the doc's training."

Toriel blinked, the implications making her eyes widen with shock.

"Are you saying… it… it was Papyrus' doing?" She asked, unable to keep her voice from quavering a bit.

"heh, well, at the end of the day… everything that happened that day was the doc's fault, no question." He clarified, expression darkening momentarily. "but yah, pap  _did_  set off the initial reaction that led to it all going to hell. but only because ol g pushed him too far. i wasn't there when it happened, so i dunno the exact details but… i remember one the of doc's cronies shouting at him when i got up there. saying he'd fired off one of his blasters straight into the magical energy field. pap looked super tired and was apologizing like crazy. he probably just got startled by something and fired without thinking."

His eyelights grew hazy again at that, and a soft, humorless chuckle escaped him. Toriel felt him tighten his grip on her sleeve.

"heh… kinda funny how that works huh? all that death and destruction, shattering monsters across space and time... just because of one misfired gaster blaster…"

There were a few moments where he seemed to stare off at nothing after he said that, seemingly lost in thought. Toriel couldn't help but shoot a glance towards the stairs, thinking of the blaster who was sitting up above them at the entrance. She always thought of him with such warmth, as he truly was such a friendly and helpful creature, even with his now understandable bouts of leeriness towards Frisk and Flowey. But words from Papyrus himself came back to her then, stirring up her anxiety again.

_"HE REALLY SHOULD BE MORE CAREFUL. THOSE BLASTERS… THEIR POWERS ARE NOT SOMETHING TO BE TAKEN LIGHTLY…"_

It was highly unlikely he had been referring directly to the event in question, given that it had involved gaster, and thus was almost certainly removed from his memories. But the fact those reservations and fears still existed in his mind… His words could be more troubling than she first considered.

Sans gave a small shudder against her before shaking himself out of whatever thoughts or memories had consumed him and continued. She gave him her full attention, pushing her concerns to the back of her mind for now.

"anyway, after that, well… it was all a blur of pure chaos… it was a miracle i survived it at all. i guess i managed to see the first explosion coming, because i grabbed papyrus and somehow forced all my magic into a small shortcut, even though it must have really hurt me because of my inhibitor. i still don't know how i did it exactly… but anyway, then i just remember watching the command center go up in flames from some distance away, seeing ol g fall from the walkway, and pap rushing over to try and save him, the inhibitor on the back of my spine burning hot… then i musta passed out for a while."

Toriel felt her breath catch in her throat a bit, trying to picture what all that must of been like for him. That last part stuck out to her too, making her wonder why Papyrus would leave behind his injured brother, who had just saved his life, to try and save his father. A monster who had been cruel and twisted in his treatment of them both. She knew it was likely related to Papyrus' seemingly endless compassion, but something about it just… it just didn't feel right. For the moment, she filed that away with the other questions for another day.

"by the time i came to… it was all already over. it was real eerie, all quiet and dark, since they had shut down all the power to that section of the core to try and stop it from going totally nuclear or whatever, not even the alarms were going. almost everything was damaged and i could only see because there were still some fires around. i ran around the place when i realized pap was gone until i finally found him… unconscious and buried in a huge pile of rubble."

Sans' eyelights wavered again at that, and he tightened his grip on her again in an involuntary little show of stress. She briefly pulled him a little closer and a ran a comforting paw down his back until he seemed to relax again. As her paw pad drifted over the soft bumps of his spine, she couldn't help but wonder where on it that dreaded inhibitor had been. How much pain had her dear skeleton been in, stumbling around in the dark wreckage of the Core and having to dig his brother out of the rubble? It made her soul churn sickly with mixed emotion and her claws slid out fully without her even realizing it.

Her little display of comfort had again helped him find in it in himself to continue, and when he spoke again it was in a softer, more openly saddened tone.

"pap didn't just lose his memories of gaster that day." He rasped, leaning into her touch a bit. "he was hurt real bad tori… and i dunno if it was the injuries he got, or the magic he was exposed to from the blast, but it gave him some sort of amnesia after that. and he's never gotten those memories back, even all these years later. the only thing he could definitely remember after he woke up a few days later was that i was his brother. oh, and that he was great at puzzles of course… goddamn puzzles…"

Something of a bitter chuckle escaped him then, as though those last words held some deeper meaning she was not aware of. He made no effort to elaborate on it though, so she let it be. His words had far more pressing implications for her to address.

"So you have been lying to him… all this time." She murmured in response. "He knows nothing of where he came from. Of who… _what_ … he really is."

Her words were not accusatory nor even that disapproving, more hollow and resigned than anything. Sans' soul still gave a harsh pulse of guilt though and he nodded, slowly.

"yah… i'm not proud of lying to him so much after that, but it was for the best." He declared, with a surge of sterness. "it still is. he didn't carry any of the damage his life in the lab left on him. he basically got a fresh start. ol g and the others may not have treated him as badly as they treated me, but its still not stuff worth remembering. pap spent his whole childhood wanting nothing more than to please the doc, and he pushed himself to the brink to do it. now he can spend that time focusing on himself and just… being happy."

He met her eyes again then, his eyelights burning brightly and his posture stiff. As was so often the case, it was the his love for his brother that brought out the strongest convictions in him.

"that's all i want tori, i just want my brother to be happy and safe." He said, voice shaking ever so slightly. "he deserves that. that's why he can't know about this stuff, that's why i haven't tried anything to get his old memories back. It took me a while to fully accept that way back when, but he's just better off not knowing… this stuff could... it could destroy him…"

There was a plea for understanding in his expression and tone, as well as from his soul itself. She could feel his nervous, uncertain magic reaching out to her own, carrying with it all the terrible weight of his desperate responsibility. Though she could not deny that she held some reservations regarding his open deceit of his brother, she could not direct any true ire towards him for it. Toriel had no siblings, but she could only imagine that If she were in his situation, she would have likely ended up doing the same. The fact he had to make choices like this at all was so wholly unfair that it made her soul feel like it was being squeezed.

She pulled him a little closer for another brief squeeze, meeting his outreach of magic with her own in a manner that soothed them both. Once she released him again, she found the words to speak her feelings aloud.

"I understand dear…" She assured him, scarlet eyes heavy. "And... I feel I must agree with you, as much I wish it did not have to be this way. "

Sans didn't say anything in response, just nodded, but if it was truly in agreement or just acknowledgement, she couldn't say. His soul had calmed with a feeling of gratitude though, that much was clear, even if it was still buried underneath the stress of everything else. After a minute or so, he shifted back from her a bit more to pick up the photo album again. He slid the badge between the pages and then held the whole thing to his chest, seemingly by instinct. During the whole process, she noticed he refused to look at the picture on the front again.

She could tell he was uncertain what to say next and was likely waiting for another question from her. And when he met her eyes again a few moments later, it was solidified her suspicions. So she shot a slow glance around the room, eyes resting on the covered machine when one finally came to her.

"Why did you go back to the labs for all of this?" She asked, tone rather subdued. "The Core was in shambles, yes? And you had finally been freed from that place at long last. Surely it would have been easier to just leave it all to burn or be forgetten. Was it just to ensure no one else found it… or?"

Her question trailed off as her eyes came to rest on the photo album and all the smiling faces on the cover. It made her realize she already knew the answer, at least in part. And it was an answer that broke her heart.

"Oh Sans…" She rasped, eyes stinging with the beginnings of tears. "you… you thought that you could go back and save them if you fixed this machine... did you not? You thought you could somehow stop what happened that day... That is why you brought it here with you…"

He remained utterly still after the words left her, as though frozen solid. Then he tightened his grip on the album in his arms and let out a weary, hollow chuckle that sounded just a bit too broken for her liking. His reaction was enough of an answer, but he spoke the words she expected as well.

"heh, welp, you nailed it…" He croaked, forcing up a strained false grin as his eyelights faded away completely.

Those dark empty sockets bore into her until he closed them, looking about as worn and defeated as she'd ever seen him.

"it was always a stupid idea. i knew that deep down. after all, saving them would probably mean that ol g and the others wouldn't get shattered, and that pap would never lose his memories. heck we may have never even escaped at all that day. and yet i still sat down here and slaved away at trying to fix that damn thing, not even thinking about any of that. the more i worked, the more ideas i had too. If i could go back, i could save them, i could save everyone who died, maybe i could even go back far enough to bust my brother out before old g ever got a chance to do anything to him. maybe i could even craft a better future for everyone..."

Bitter self loathing in the form of sarcasm seemed to coat those last few statements, enough that Toriel wanted to comfort him again and tell him he could stop talking if he wished. Yet she found herself staying silent and listening intently instead, perhaps unable to resist hearing what else he had to say.

"you see where that kind of thinking goes though…" He went on, just as wearily. "for every one thing i'd be fixing i'd be undoing another. even just a small thing like ensuring pap didn't accidentally set off the core that day. it was all idiotic dreams of grandeur, seeing as i never got the damn thing working, not even like it used to. hell, even if i had, it could have had consequences that could have reshaped our entire world… but it wasn't that sort of thinking that ended up making me give up in the end."

He seemed to deflate even more at that, seeming so utterly small in that moment in more ways than one. His sockets slid open a bit, revealing the deep darkness there to her again as he forced himself to continue.

"when the resets started… i lost a lot of that... more noble intent." He admitted, curling his phalanges tighter around the album in his arms. "i told myself i wanted to fix the machine and go back to make sure flowey never… came to be the way he did. but i think by the end… i just wanted some sort of hope i could escape it all. that i could find some way of stopping the constant resetting of our world. but the little weed told you how that inevitably turned out in the end."

Toriel's soul panged harshly at that, indeed remembering all too well. The flower monster's cruel, mocking voice echoed in her head for a moment, only exacerbating the pain she felt on Sans' behalf. She slid her arm more snugly around him again, allowing him to focus on clutching the photo album like he so clearly wanted, but still holding him close. As before, he shivered and leaned into the side hug. Their souls did most of the communicating there for a bit, hers offering comfort, and his, his honest pain.

"i haven't been down here in a real long time tori..." He admitted in a low voice.

That statement didn't surprise her, the reasons for that being all too clear. She squeezed him a little tighter, with a little hum of acknowledgement in her throat. As she did, she happened to notice that small card sticking out of the photo album again. After a beat, Sans noticed her looking at it and he lowered the album in his lap a bit to get a better look himself. There was another flash of pain in his eyelights as he seemed to realize what it was, but he still gently pulled it out with a somewhat shaky hand. She found it odd that he didn't even bother turning it over to look at it before offering it to her.

Delicately, she accepted the card from him. He continue to avert his gaze from it as she did so, as was becoming a trend with all this. For the moment though, she left him be and took in everything on the card herself. On the thick piece of yellowed card stock was a something that looked like a child's drawing. It appeared to depict three smiling figures, two small and one much taller than the others. It was quite charming, and it reminded her of the drawings that her children, especially Chara, had sometimes made for her. But the words written at the top distracted her from any the potential warmth the drawing could have brought her.

"don't forget."

The handwriting, or should she say the "font", of it as well as the proclivity towards lowercase told her who had written it. Something about that phrase made something click in her mind. She inevitably thought of how similar it was to what she had written in her diary, finding the irony more unsettling than anything. But more than that, his words seemed to make her realize who the figures in the childish drawing were meant to be. Sans, Papyrus… and their father, W.D Gaster, almost like a family photo...

She looked at him with a questioning, concerned expression. It was enough that he met her eyes again and forced himself to give an explanation. And only then did he seem to dare to look at the drawing.

"pap drew that. it was one of the first things he did after he was taken out of the development chamber, to test his motor skills or whatever. clearly he uh… wasn't the best judge of character with his portrayal of the doc there, heh. "

The chuckle he let out then was hardly more than a croak, his usual ability to make light of these kinds of situations thoroughly drained from him at this point. And true to form, it only made her soul ache for both of the skeleton brothers even more, rather than lighten the mood in any way. That ache continued to fester within her as he went on, eyelights dull and hazy as he looked upon his little brother's drawing.

"pap gave it to me, and the doc actually let me keep it. i've... never been able to part with it. later on, after i found it had survived the accident at the core, i wrote that reminder to myself on the top on a whim. i know its vague… but it means a lot of different things… even more now than what it used to."

To her surprise, his eyelights brightened up a bit at that, as though with some faint spark of determination. The emotions driving it did not feel positive though, as sharp guilt, anger and regret radiated out from his soul in clipped waves.

"i guess overall... it's a reminder for me to not forget where we came from, what the doctor did to us, what we were intended to be… so that someone can always hold him and his cronies accountable, even in a world where nobody else can remember but me. i guess it also's about what's at stake with keeping my bro in the dark. the innocence pap had when he made that drawing is the kind of innocence he deserves to keep through the rest of his life. he's the coolest, nicest, most amazing monster ever, and i won't let any of this crap destroy that for him."

With that last declaration, she thought she saw the barest hint of his left eyelight flashing. She swallowed hard before wearily nodding her understanding. Truly, trying to fully digest everything he was telling her was beginning to strain her already frazzled mind, making her a bit lost for words. What could she even say at this point? What could anyone say? So she just did what she knew best and hugged him close again, still gently clutching the bittersweet drawing in one paw.

Another period of silence followed, only filled with Sans' somewhat uneven breaths and the high pitched whine of the artificial lights above. But her focus on sharing warmth with his soul made the silence less heavy and more comfortable by the moment as he began to return that warmth. He still couldn't relax though, not yet. Certainly not until they addressed… that.

She turned almost subconsciously then back to the looming machine, eyeing it with a harsh twinge of dread. But before Sans could react to that or break from their little moment of respite, she loosened her grip on him enough to meet his gaze again.

"Sans… I think you should take these back with you." She said, pushing the card back into his hands along with the photo album.

Her suggestion made his eyelights shrink a bit in a momentary expression of shock, that then slowly melted into muted grief and uncertainty. Toriel pressed harder though, both physically and with her words. She laid her paw on the items in question as she continued.

"I believe that... they can still have a place in your new life. Even if we must keep them hidden. As you said, the things this picture represents for you, and especially your friends and the memories you shared with them, they deserved to be remembered, do they not?"

As she had predicted, her words struck him deeply and his eyelights guttered out entirely once again. His empty, dark sockets stared down at the memories in his hands and his body shuddered lightly with a soft rattle. Eventually though, he opened the photo album just enough to slip the card back between its pages like he had with the badge before. When the book shut again, though the sound was small, it seemed to reverberate through them both.

"y-yah… yah... alright." He rasped at last, wrapping one arm tightly around it and squeezing it to his chest.

Toriel managed a small smile at that, and reached over to brush a tear from his face with her thumb. He blinked in response, eyelights returning a bit as he laid his free hand questioningly against his cheekbone. Clearly he'd been unaware he'd been driven to tears again, and she heard him utter some sort of quiet curse before sweeping his sleeve across his face. Seemingly forcing himself to regain composure, his expression hardened and his gaze was drawn to the covered machine just as hers had been before.

Fear and unease swirled in what little he could summon of his eyelights, but when she rested a paw on his shoulder in a silent show of concern, he slowly shrugged it off. There was a spark of something in him that drove him forward then, the source of whatever was fueling his need to share this with her. It was so unlike him that it only made her concerns deepen considerably, worried he might be edging on the brink of some outburst of anger like before due to her words, or even something worse.

Still tightly clutching the photo album to his chest, he hopped off the work table they'd been sitting on and crossed the short distance to the machine. Some of her fears were assuaged when he looked back at her with eyelights that were still soft beneath his sudden resolve.

"come on tori…" He said, in a stronger voice than before. "you should take a look at it. been leaving you in suspense this whole time after all."

She hesitated a moment, still a bit troubled by his odd behavior. But finding nothing proper to say, she got up and walked to his side. Both their eyes locked on the imposing shape of the machine, and the air seemed to get a bit heavier around them. After taking a steadying breath, Sans reached out and pulled away the purple sheet covering the machine with a yank of his free hand. It tumbled to the tiled floor with a resounding whoosh of fabric, revealing the infamous machine in full at last.

Toriel wasn't exactly all that familiar with much technology, so the initial sight of it brought little more than confusion and even a sense of alien-ness. But after a moment or two, she began to see things she recognized about the design, enough to make sense of it. The machine's main body was made up of a rectangular shape with the top portion comprising mostly of a large screen with a noticeable crack in it, stretching from the top left corner down to the center of the bottom. Below that was a control panel that jutted out from the main structure with such a plethora of buttons and dials and switches that she could hardly imagine what individual tasks they could all do.

It was also covered in those "wingdings" for any visible labelling, making it appear only more otherworldly to her. Wiring and various tubes spilled out of the side of the machine through an open panel and into the back wall and ceiling of the room, making the whole thing appear like some spider-like creature. Faint burns and dents scattered about the thing showed the damage it had taken back during the incident with the Core, and only made it more imposing.

Despite her reservations, she stepped closer for a better look. As she did, she noticed the metal body of the machine was oddly mismatched, with some areas looking like they'd been replaced with newer, different pieces. Indeed the whole thing looked like it had been disassembled and reassembled many times, with parts replaced, repositioned and added to all the while. That, along with a crack running along the length of the screen and the surprisingly thin layer of dust on it, gave the sense that the machine was long broken, like an abandoned piece of scrap one could have found in the dumps of Waterfall.

The only thing that countered this was the fact that there were tools and various notes scattered about the floor around it, as though someone had thrown them all down in a fit of frustration. A single sad excuse for a desk chair sat in front of the open panel as well, terribly faded and even lightly stained in some places. The whole scene before her painted a dire, haunting picture in her mind, of her dear skeleton down here alone for hours,  _days_  on end, trying against all odds to fix this machine. How desperate had he been? How much must it hurt for him to look upon it now and be reminded of that failure and all the deeper meanings behind it? She could imagine it was akin to how she had felt when she had helped move the caskets of the fallen humans to the surface shortly after the barrier was destroyed, cold and worthless.

"press the green button, the one under the flag and the skull symbols." Sans' voice broke her from her thoughts then.

His voice still carried that odd resolve, almost as though he were impatient, anxious for something. But strangely, it didn't seem directed at her, rather something else, perhaps intangible to all but him. It only perplexed her further, but she listened and stepped up to the control panel, found the button in question, and pressed it delicately with one of her large fingers. The machine came to life with a low hum that lightly vibrated the whole structure as well. Then the screen lit up along with some of the buttons. The crack in the screen caused some distortion in the display, but she could see something like a phone or computer menu covered in the "wingdings" symbols.

"It still works…" She said in vague amazement, honestly not expecting it, given its dire appearance.

Sans gave a humorless little chuckle that was almost a scoff, then seemed to force himself to step over and stand beside her. He was clearly hesitant to touch the machine, but nonetheless got himself to hurriedly type something into the wingdings keyboard. After another button press, the screen changed and she felt something like a powerful pulse emit from the machine that was enough to make her flinch a bit. But after it passed, Sans gave no reaction and she wondered if she had only imagined it.

On the screen was something like a chart or timetable of some sort. A dozen or so yellow lines crossed a black background marked with more numbers and wingdings than she could even try and parse through. What she could take from it was that one of the lines was vastly longer than any of the others and had the number 407 next to it. She narrowed her eyes at the sight, trying to make some sense of it when Sans spoke again from beside her.

"this… is as far as i ever got it working." He said, voice somewhat strained, before lifting his free hand to point at the long line on the chart. "that's our current timeline, and you can see some of the past ones there too. it used to show a lot more of em, and could print out full data reports, but i could never figure out the doc's blueprints and notes enough to get those parts up and running again. much less the stuff regarding opening portals between timelines. heh, the guy was a genius as much as he was a bastard."

She blinked slowly, understanding clicking in her mind. That line representing their current timeline was as long as it was because of how long it had been since the last reset. The number said it all, 407, certainly indicating days. Just over a year. None of the other timelines displayed came anywhere remotely close, usually averaging only a week or two and hardly peaking beyond that. It was as Sans had said, a timeline had never gone on this long before.

"I see…" She said, tapping a claw against her chin as her mind continued to race. "What you told me before, it makes more sense now. Seeing it visually like this… does make it a bit easier to comprehend."

He gave another wheezy, bitter little chuckle at that, enough to snap her attention back to him in concern.

"well, that's about all this hunk of garbage is good for." He muttered, darkly.

He turned around to face her and shrugged his shoulders, eyelights burning bright with all the wrong emotions. It wasn't quite at the same level as when his anger had overwhelmed him that first day, but it still made her grow ever more nervous.

"but hey, who knows right?, lets try and get the locked features to activate, maybe the millionth times the charm." He went on, with a heavy, biting sarcasm.

Then he turned back to the machine, pressed a few more buttons, and typed something into the keyboard again. All the while a truly unsettling forced grin spread on his face, making his actions appear somewhat manic. Eventually, he pressed one last button with a bit more force than necessary and Toriel didn't dare to breathe as she watched the screen. For a moment, nothing happened, then the machine made a harsh grating sound from somewhere inside it that grew to a high pitched whine. Then the screen went totally black and the whole machine went still with a final sort of shuddering groan.

Toriel swallowed nervously in the following silence, eyes drifting back down to Sans. He just let out another aggrieved little laugh, running his free hand down his face and squeezing the photo album a little tighter against his chest with the other. He was still grinning when he met her gaze again with another shrug.

"welp, what a shocker. can't blame a guy for trying though." He said with a wink.

His voice kept that same embittered sarcasm, but it was already fading from his expression. Toriel worried her lip with her fangs, unsure how to respond for a moment. Then she slowly knelt down to be closer to his eye level and laid a paw on the skeleton's shoulder. It steadied him somewhat, but she could still feel the tension held tightly in his small frame. She willed her tone to remain steady as she spoke.

"Sans… I am so sorry dear… I know this must be so terribly frustrating for you, to have worked so hard for so long… Is there truly nothing more that can be accomplished with it? Could we not-"

" _no_." He interrupted her then, voice harsh.

When she flinched a bit at that, his eyelights softened with a look of guilt and some of the fierce drive faded from him. He kept talking though, not to be swayed from it entirely.

"this is the happiest outcome we're ever going to manage." He continued in a quieter voice. "one where everyone is happy, at least while we wait and pray another reset never comes."

His eyelights flickered, nearly going out again as despair seemed to creep back into his expression and into the magic flowing from his soul.

"no one can fix the machine. not me, not al, and certainly not the doc or his goons. there's no way to end the game for good. it's taken me far too long to accept that... there's no going back."

Her soul panged harshly at that, enough to summon a small sting of tears to her eyes again. She couldn't stand to hear him sound so… hopeless. Not again. She opened her mouth to speak, but then he stepped a little closer and laid his hand over hers, more so to get her attention than anything else.

"tori... i… i didn't come here just to show you all these things..." He admitted, the words coming slowly.

"Oh?" She questioned back, softly, feeling the tension gripping him intensifying under her paw.

He nodded, and drew in a shaky attempt at a steadying breath and let it whistle out through his teeth before meeting her gaze again with more strength.

"i came here because, i think i'm finally ready to... be rid of this place. for good."

Toriel blinked at that, raising a brow and frowning further with confusion and concern.

"What… do you mean?" She asked, nervously.

His smile widened again in response, but for what emotion she could not be sure. It did not reach his eyelights though, which remained heavy and dull.

"a long time ago, i set up small detonators in the walls of this place that can be set off if they come in contact with a blast from gb." He explained. "the explosions will be small and controlled, and the walls are thick enough that there will be no risk of damaging the house. once we walk out of here, i'm gonna have gb light this place up... and destroy it all for good."

The shock she felt at that made her eyes widen and she swept her gaze around the room as her mind began to race. He wanted to destroy all of this? That certainly explained the odd way he'd been acting since they got there. Part of her could somewhat guess what might be driving that desire but it just didn't seem like something the usually rational and scientifically minded skeleton would do. She looked at him again helplessly, unable to mask her continually worsening concern.

"A-Are you... sure dear?" She asked. "Could you not just… lock it up as you did before? I think I understand your intention but… what if you ever find the need for the information here? And it would be a true shame if all your hard work was simply put to waste, would it not?"

His eyelights dimmed again as those words left her and he promptly, firmly shook his head. There was not even any pause for consideration this time.

"no, stuff like this has no place in a peaceful world tori." He declared with the same somber confidence.

That confidence quickly faded though and that same plea for understanding flashed in his eyelights again. He tightened his grip on her paw, and the next statement escaped him along with a involuntary shudder.

"and... so long as all this is down here… especially that damn machine… i don't think i can ever truly move on."

The words hit her hard, and finally broke through some barrier of her mind to allow full understanding to flood in. It was understanding that continued to claw and tear at her soul as he went on in a more shaky, rapid tone, trembling just enough for his bones to rattle softly.

"and yah, i know, it's pointless in the long run. whe-... _if_  … frisk resets again it'll all just come right back. but…but i want to believe in this tori, i really do, i want to believe that there's a future for me that won't lead to me ending up right back here… i… i  _need_  to do this."

His words ended with him falling silent again, breathing heavily and curling his arm tighter around the photo album he cradled there. The small act made her realize that if she had not convinced him to keep it before, he very well may have intended to burn it and all the dear memories it contained along with everything else in this place. The emotions that thought among all the others stirred in her nearly forced the still lingering tears from her eyes, but she kept her composure, feeling it was necessary for her in this situation.

"Very well then... That is... your decision to make, of course." She said, voice warm beneath the sadness there. "Is there… anything I can do?"

Her question seemed to surprise him, and he blinked before his smile returned with some level of genuineness, along with a soft chuckle that sounded just the same. Though he still shivered, the lack of any negative reaction from her seemed to help calm a good deal of his nerves.

"you've done more than enough just by listening and putting up with my crap all this time. i could never ask  _more_ of you, heh…"

Though he said that, the way he stepped a bit closer did seem to be asking something of her. And she obliged without hesitation, wrapping him in a hug again. She swept a paw down his back and hushed him, trying to ignore the sudden blaze that flared to life within in her soul.

"Please, do not say that, dear." She implored. "You are not a burden on me, you never were and never will be."

Though she could feel the relief and warmth from his soul as he pressed closer in response, the fire in her own soul raged on then, not satisfied with her words. They weren't the three little words she wanted to tell him then more than ever. And truthfully, in the heat of that moment, she almost did. She practically felt them singe the tip of her tongue as they rested there, begging to be voiced. But she remembered herself and resisted, forcing herself to quell that blaze back to its usual controlled warmth. She mostly succeeded, though a few hot embers remained.

Even though she felt some twinge of embarrassment for it, the momentary lapse did restore some of her strength that the whole experience of being here had drained from her. It helped her settle on an idea of how to move forward with the situation, still not content in just giving meager spoken support.

"Perhaps… I could play a part in helping you end this place, add my magic to the attack you plan to use. Even if it would only be a metaphorical assistance… Oh dear... it sounds rather silly when I put it that way, does it not?"

She had started off confidently there, but as she spoke the words aloud she realized it had sounded much better in her head than it did in practice. But Sans seemed to actually consider the idea, and another warm pulse of gratitude came from his soul.

"no, it doesn't…" He said, oddly serious. "i-i'd like that... you're... only ever silly in all the right ways tori."

Her soul swelled with warmth again at that, and even more as he gave her a tight squeeze.

"thank you…" He croaked out against her, voice small and trembling a bit.

As experience told her, the words were a thanks for everything, not just for her offer. And all she could do was return the strength of his hug and hold him for as long as he wished her to. She knew now what would come next, and she imagined he would need some time to summon up the strength to do it. As she waited for him to pull away on his own terms, her eyes rested on the machine once more. What once seemed so imposing now just made her feel sadness and frustration on her dear skeleton's behalf. Her feelings were mixed on the idea of it being destroyed, but in the end she found she more or less came to see it his way. He didn't need this anymore, Frisk wouldn't reset again, they'd live out the rest of their lives without that fear. She had to believe that.

Perhaps this would be one of the definitive steps needed to finally diminish his father's looming influence over his life. She wasn't foolish enough to think it could ever truly be gone completely, for it would always remain somewhat through the curse he'd inflicted on him, but she was sure he could heal enough to be in a much better place then he was now. That would be enough.

 _"Take all the pain you have caused him with you to hell."_  She thought darkly, narrowing her eyes at the machine and directing the statement at all of the things stored in that place that carried the doctor's filthy stain.

It, of course, did not reply back.

Eventually, Sans decided he was ready to leave. Once she'd grabbed her purse and ensured he had everything he wished to take with him, they made for the stairs in relative silence. He only paused once, right before they left the room, to look back at the machine they'd left uncovered. It sat there just as it had for stars knows how long, broken, silent and incapable of knowing the fate that would soon befall it. He had had his back to her in that moment, but she didn't truly need to see his face to know the kind of emotions that would be there.

Once he made himself turn away, she laid a supportive paw on his back as they climbed the stairs, both feeling the weight of the fact that they would be the last monsters ever to do so. Then the only thing left to do on their way out was to shut off the light for the final time. Once they emerged back into the darkness of Snowdin, GB was there to eagerly greet them, jaws still aflame. When he saw their somber expressions however, his excitement faded and he tilted his head with a questioning grumble. Sans reached out and patted the blaster with a small, forced smile.

"hey bud, thanks for keeping watch for me, you did a great job." He rasped, voice betraying his true unease. "do you think… you could do me one more favor?"

GB yipped and nodded with enthusiasm. He then gave Sans a light nuzzle before floating over to the skeleton's side. They both then went to stand in prime position in front of the cellar opening. Toriel knew not how their connection worked, but once Sans' left eyelight blazed to life, the blaster's own eyelights sharpened and turned his expression into something fierce and almost feral. He floated there with a low growl, ready and waiting as he focused all his attention at the entrance of the cellar. It struck Toriel as some kind of dark irony, that Sans would be using the very method that caused the event that marked the start of so much of his past misery, to now sever his connection to much of that past for good.

Sans' flashing eyelight focused on her and she could see how nervous he was, especially with how sweat dripped down his skull even in the frigid temperature. Still, she could tell he wasn't backing down from the task.

"you ready?" He asked her, voice low.

"Just one moment." She replied, going to stand at his side. "I need to make sure I hit the mark with this."

It had been a while since she last used her fire magic in such a deliberate attack, and she had to ensure her unsettled emotions would not cause it to go awry in any way. She focused inward, drawing in a deep breath and feeling her magic flood through her towards her paws. With a sharp exhale, pale purple flames roared to life, enveloping her paws as her claws slid out by instinct.

The sensation brought a twinge of exhilaration to her, the rare feeling of giving her all in regards to her magic. Experiencing this with him in particular only heightened the feeling. Had the situation been a less somber one, she may have even smiled for it. She concentrated the swirl of flames into a single paw, making it glow brightly with condensed, focused magic. Only then did she look back to Sans with a look of resolution.

"Ready when you are, dear."

He nodded, and though it was hard to tell with the dizzying nature of his flashing eyelight, she thought she saw him eye her display of magic with a rather impressed look. But then his focus was back on the cellar door, and she saw his own magic beginning to light up his free hand. There was a beat, perhaps one last little spark of hesitation, then he gave the signal.

" _now._ "

The moment that both their magical attacks were fired, mixed, and struck true passed in what felt like slow motion. Toriel swore she saw the flame and the white hot magical beam coalesce into one great singular entity, shining with a light that was nearly blinding. Then it was down the hole and the explosion was shaking the ground beneath her. Multi colored flames burst up from the open cellar entrance as more rang out. Then the tunnel just past the doors collapsed with a deep, resonating boom and a great blast of smoke. More blasts could be heard, diminishing in noise and intensity but still enough to make her flinch each time. Sans did not flinch, only stared at the scene with that fervid eyelight of his, utterly still as though he were frozen.

Eventually, relative quiet settled over the area again. Only the dull roar and crackling of the colorful flames along with the occasional falling of debris from within the tunnel could be heard. Both of them just watched the flames dance in silence for a few moments, their heavy breaths visible as they escaped them into the chilled air. GB too watched the sight with somberness, all his aggression from before having vanished with the explosion, it seemed.

Just like that, it was over. Everything that cellar contained, and all it represented to Sans. It was gone, lost to the fire.

She had only just been introduced to this place today, and even she could feel the enormous weight of that on her soul. To try and imagine how it felt for her dear skeleton, she feared it wasn't possible. Sans moved in that moment, drawing her out of her trance, but it was only to lay a hand on his blaster and say something to him she could not hear. Then the blaster vanished in a bright blue flash, leaving only the flames of the cellar's destruction to light the area. Instinctively, she summoned a few more flame attacks and sent them out in a kind of circle around them, whether it was an act brought out of her desire to ensure their safety or guard against her own fears, she knew not.

She could not be troubled with such thoughts then, nothing could hope to penetrate the focus she had on Sans in that moment. His eyelight had gone out, leaving his sockets empty and dark as he kept his gaze locked onto the fiery display before him. He had also wrapped both his arms firmly around the photo album, holding it tight to his chest as though it were a lifeline of some kind. The effect all this was having on him was something she could see as well as hear, for his body shook with soft, audible rattles that only seemed to be worsening by the moment.

Soul tight with pain for him, she cautiously moved over to stand behind him. He didn't react immediately to her presence, too lost in things she could never fully understand. When she leaned down and slipped her arms around him from behind though, he stiffened, but only as he was pulled somewhat out of his dissociative state. Once she had fully closed the embrace and held him against her stomach, he leaned into her touch, allowing her to bear some of his weight... in many different respects. In front of them, the fire raged on and they watched it together in silence.

It was only then that he truly wept, but it wasn't with the heartbreaking, violent sobs that had consumed him days ago. He just shuddered in her arms with notably harsh rattles and choked quietly on the emotions tearing through him. All the while, streams of tears poured down his cheekbones, tears tinged with magic that glowed with a hint of cyan in the darkness as they fell to disappear into the snow below.

Just like all those broken pieces of the past burning up in the blaze before them, some part of him was being consumed and destroyed by this step he was taking. It was the death of what once had been one of his only sources of hope, of escaping or stopping the resets, or going back to undo the tragedies that haunted his past, rather than accept it all and face the uncertain future.

It hurt, she could feel that much from the emotions flooding from his soul into her own, and it was a pain that was as confusing as it was harsh. But it was a pain that would pass, and leave him with a stronger capacity for hope than before he'd endured it. Like any choice to let go though, it would take time for him to truly accept this and adjust. As she had many times, she made a silent vow to be there by his side to help ensure that he did.

Eventually his legs began to weaken and wobble beneath him, and Toriel silently brought him with her to the ground. She held him close in her arms, cradling him there in the snow as he finally tore his gaze away from the flames and hid his face against her shoulder, curling the phalanges of one hand into her robes and continuing to hold the photo album tight against his chest with the other.

She recognized his act of turning away from the blazing spectacle as both a literal and metaphorical one. He was tearing himself away from these pieces of his past as they burned, and choosing instead to hold on to her, someone she knew he likely saw as a symbol of his new present… and the future he was perhaps now daring to hope for.

They sat there like that for a long time. Until the flames died down into nothing but thin plumes of smoke curling up from the ruins of the cellar, carrying with them the faint acrid stench of scorched metal. Until all that was left of the lab were the ashes and debris left in the burnt husk of a room below them. Until his tears stopped, and the great agonized fervor of his soul was warmed into calmness again. Only then did Toriel press a kiss to the top of his skull, not bothering to give that nagging voice of doubt in her head any mind as she did so.

"Let's go home." She said, simply, allowing a rare contraction to leave her lips.

It was all that was needed. Sans squeezed her and the bittersweet memories in his arms tight and then executed the shortcut. They disappeared from the snowy clearing, returning it, the ruined lab, and his former home to the empty, dark silence they had found them in.


	21. Intrepidity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- u -;;;;; I have no excuse for long this chapter is. One of these things is going to be 20,000 words at this rate. Hopefully you will be inclined to forgive me with what this chapter finally gets to though ;3c Needless to say, I had a LOT of fun writing it. Hope you enjoy~ 
> 
> (Warnings for this chapter: Lots of alcohol, brief mention of suicide, and a little more cursing than usual)

The rest of the week after that night passed in somewhat of a blur, a strange blend of strained normalcy and lingering stirred emotion of all kinds. There had been a sort of unspoken agreement that passed between Toriel and her dear skeleton. After enduring so much that night back in the Underground, they made an effort to avoid being drawn into lengthy discussions about the past for a while, for both their sakes. They needed a break from all that, some time to recover before they were ready to address anything so heavy again. Especially Sans…

When they had returned home that night, they had been hit with a tremendous wave of exhaustion, as the adrenaline that had come with the events of the night faded. They didn't possess the energy to even bother checking the time before snuggling back up under the sheets. Before they knew it, they had ended up wrapped up in each other again, but neither could truly blame it on being an unconscious act. It was something they both craved, as his grief and pain still lingered within him even upon leaving that place, practically calling out to her soul to respond and soothe it. And she had without question, able to ease him into sleep with just a few minutes of gentle effort on her part. She had followed suit shortly after.

All the while Sans had kept that photo album close in his arms, unable to part with it for some time. When morning came though, through their expected haze of exhaustion, they had found a safe place to hide it beneath her mattress. He pulled it out and looked at it often whenever he was in her room during the following nights. She always made an effort to give him some time alone when he did. But when he'd noticed that, to her surprise, he invited her over to tell her more. He never went into too much detail, adhering to the unspoken agreement it seemed, but in time she had learned all of his lost friend's names and even a few of their personalities. It made looking over the photos more painful of course, but there was a warmth to the newfound familiarity as well.

His more comfortable willingness to speak about the terribly bittersweet memories of the photo album had not been the only sign of improvement from him either. Indeed, once he had found sleep again that night after they'd destroyed the cellar, no nightmare came to him. In fact, he reported not having any dreams at all. At first, both seemed to agree it was probably a fluke, likely due to just how short their rest that night had been. But then the next night came, and he slept through it yet again without any incident. 

It had not been a flawless change, as there had been two nights where he certainly still had nightmares. One had even left him horribly sick again in its wake and she had awoken to find him vomiting into the bathroom sink and choking out something about everything being reset again, only truly calming after an hour or so of her consoling him. But even then, he had never become fully lost in his visions as he had before. He had been present the whole time, just terribly, understandably, distressed. There was no finding him seizing on the floor, eyelight ablaze as she had before. There was no summoning of attacks in his sleep or losing any recollection of where or when he was. Though he was far from cured of his night terrors, he was finally, blessedly, showing signs of getting better in that regard and Toriel was so incredibly happy for him.

Unfortunately, she could not say the same about her own situation. Granted, the memories that had returned to her over the next few nights were not quite as distressing as the last, but many still left her deeply shaken.

Visions of Frisk in the Ruins that repeated and overlapped, where sometimes they stayed with her for extended times and others where they almost ignored her entirely. Visions of Flowey taunting and tormenting her in the Ruins while staying just out of reach of her attacks, before apparently striking a killing blow on her by accident with some huge spiked vine and looking on with a mix of horror and intrigue as her soul shattered before him. Visions of a timeline where she'd returned to the castle to find Asgore's dust scattered about his throne room, apparently killed not by her child, but by the will of his own hand. Visions of timelines where she continued to fail her people, her children, everyone she'd ever cared about.

Not only that, but she had begun developing terrible headaches akin to migraines that flared up on occasion, and especially after she awoke from one of the returned memories. They did not last long at all, but they were agony to deal with in the moment, and often left her head lightly throbbing long after they passed. There was likely a connection, but the discomfort they brought her paled so much in comparison to the pain of the visions that she didn't dwell on them very much.

She was sure to tell Sans of each returned memory she endured, especially when she woke from one abruptly in a cold sweat, shivering all over. And just as she did for him, he'd talk her down, comfort her and do his best to explain what the memories meant, where they fit into everything else. By the stars, if he hadn't been there during those times to keep her grounded she would have surely lost herself in it all by now. It only added to her continually more insistent desire to tell him of her true feelings, especially since some anxious little part of her felt that now that he was truly starting to get better, he wouldn't need her anymore, and this wonderful closeness they'd forged between them would begin to disintegrate.

But she continued to hold her tongue, even as the true reasons why became less and less clear.

It was those thoughts that found her on Friday afternoon, the last day of the school week. It was a gray and rainy day, where the downpour was constant and heavy. There was no thunder or howling winds to accompany it, just a ceaseless deluge from above. Toriel watched the rainfall from the window of her classroom, eyes as hazy as the sodden glass.

The room was quiet apart from the sound of that, the students having been set up for a special indoor recess in the gym while they waited for their parents. She had stayed behind to finish grading daily assignments, a task she had just finished. But she found herself too preoccupied with her thoughts to get up and join the others just yet, not trusting herself not to look like an exhausted mess at the moment.

The room's only other occupant, Flowey, had again been left with her by Frisk, something that become an odd sort of trend. But at least he was not such a terrible a companion as before. He was entertaining himself on his little portable gaming system and staying quiet, rather good behavior on his part. She had given him a lollipop for that earlier, and though he had scoffed, he was now happily sucking on the sweet, the stick poking out of his mouth. Even with the benign, somewhat charming scene though, her thoughts inevitably turned to those darker visions of him she'd endured and she shivered slightly despite herself. Her mind had been wandering all day, as it had been any time she was alone with her thoughts.

She hated to be alone nowadays. Partially due to fear of ever feeling any amount of that despairing loneliness she'd experienced in the Ruins again. But also now because her mind tended to drift into dangerous, damaging territory when she had no distractions. Truly terrible thoughts of hopelessness and dread over the harrowing threat of an oncoming reset, a thought that grew more desperate with every day, with every step she and her dear skeleton took towards healing.

She broke from those thoughts with a soft sigh, taking off her glasses and rubbing idly at her forehead against the first throbs of another headache. She needed to stop, she couldn't think about that. Frisk was  _not_ going to reset. Her child was happy, everyone was happy. It wasn't going to happen. It just… _couldn't_ , not now.

The sudden sound of the door to the room creaking open demanded her attention, something she was silently grateful for. When she turned to see who was entering though, that gratitude withered somewhat. She found herself facing the harsh gaze of Undyne, who was communicating with her stance that she was not here for any sort of friendly chat. Toriel knew then that the confrontation with the fish monster that she had been avoiding for days had finally come. Resigning to that fact, she summoned some of her old royal composure into her soul and met Undyne's gaze without flinching.

"Greetings Undyne." She said, in a pleasant if somewhat flat tone. "Can I help you with something?"

Undyne let out a little "tch" at that, and shut the door behind her without turning around. Her bright yellow eye rested briefly on Flowey, a sight that summoned an even more irritated scowl to her face, but then she looked back at Toriel with a huff.

"Yeah actually, but since you never seem to respond to anything I text you, I decided I better come talk to you in person. Wouldn't want you to ignore me again, right?" She hissed through only a vague attempt at a grin.

Toriel's more genial expression withered at that, though she did not flinch from the words. The fish monster was justified with her anger, and Toriel knew it. Her avoidance of all this had been cowardly, even with everything else going on. Guilt welled up within her, but before she could find the words to express it, Undyne suddenly marched over and brought her webbed hand down on the desk with a bit more force than necessary. It was enough to make Flowey jump a bit, though Toriel managed to hold her ground, willing herself not to be intimidated.

"Cut the bullshit, you know why I want to talk to you." Undyne said, darkly.

"Langua-" Toriel began to say back, but the fish monster cut her off again.

"Oh just drop it!" She spat, facial fins flaring out in annoyance. "The little weed has more of a mouth on him than any of us combined. Clearly you haven't heard him lose at Smash Bros."

Another angry retort welled in Toriel's throat, but she forced it back with a swallow. A vague frustrated thought about Flowey's apparent cursing habits drifted over her mind, but it was pulled back to the situation at hand when Undyne continued speaking.

"No, I want to know what the hell your problem is. I sent you those messages because I wanted to be civil about this whole thing, I really did. But you don't have the decency to reply back, not even with a simple "no"?" I held off making a stink about it because you've honestly been looking like shit lately, but I want answers Toriel." She demanded, pointed yellow teeth flashing.

The rain pounded against the windows in the following silence as Toriel worked up a response. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed Flowey watching the unfolding scene with an interested twinkle in his eyes, as though enjoying the little spat. His behavior was anything but helpful. She let out a slow sigh, adjusted her glasses a bit, and faced the fish monster with a look of more obvious remorse.

"I do apologize for that Undyne. You are right, I should not have ignored you like I did… I am afraid I have been going through some things lately that have... clouded my judgement." She admitted, curling her claws into her lap a bit.

"What kind of things?" Undyne shot back, her single eye narrowing slightly.

Toriel stiffened, and her red eyes became a bit hazy again as she shook her head.

"I… cannot tell you that." She replied, in a dull tone.

"Why the hell not?!" Undyne burst out, facial fins flaring.

Once the exclamation had left her though, she seemed to regret it somewhat, especially when Flowey gave an amused little chuckle from his place on the table. The knowing look the flower monster then shot Toriel's way sent a chill down her spine. If Undyne noticed it, she didn't give any indication. She simply composed herself as much as she could manage before going on, voice still thick with anger.

"If it's the reason you keep treating Asgore like shit, why you freaked out at him last weekend, then I want to know. I think you owe me that for blowing me off all this time."

Toriel felt the twinge of anger inside her burn hotter momentarily, shocked at the fish monster's gall. What right did she think she had to this information? Surely she must know that this was personal if nothing else. But her anger and those thoughts faded as another sort of idea rose to the forefront of her mind. She let it linger there for the moment, searching Undyne's gaze for signs to support it.

"I cannot tell you Undyne, I am sorry." She repeated, hating how almost robotic it sounded. "But no, it… it is not why…"

She trailed off for a moment, before deciding to redirect her words a bit. The still ever-present anger on the fish monster's features only solidified the suspicions she had about the situation.

"Undyne, I  _did_  attempt to talk to him earlier this week…" She insisted, expression becoming increasingly perplexed and a touch concerned. "Did he… not tell you?"

Undyne scoffed, crossing her arms in front of her. Her fierce yellow eye bored into Toriel and made her feel pinned in place somewhat, though she couldn't help but meet the gaze with resoluteness of her own.

"Oh he told me." She said, venom still lingering in her tone. "And yeah sure you made an attempt. But do you really think you solved anything? All this time and that's all you could manage? "I'm too messed up right now to even try and fix things?" As if he isn't ten times as messed up over what happened between you two, as if he hasn't been working his ass off to make up for what he did, to  _you_ , especially!"

Her words had the opposite effect Undyne probably expected. Instead of becoming angrier, Toriel only grew more concerned. From what she had learned of the former captain of the royal guard over the last year, she was aware she was often a hot head, and sometimes displayed a fiery temper. Hell, she seemed to experience all emotions at their "maximum power" as she would likely put it. Even so, this kind of vitriol did not feel right coming from her. Undyne was a monster of justice, she would not be doing this without purpose. And the one she had given, while justified certainly, just didn't sit right with Toriel. Now that she thought about it, she hadn't seen her ex-husband at all the past two days...

"Undyne… did something happen?" She asked, somewhat hesitantly. "Asgore made it seem like he understood when i spoke to him… He seemed pleased with my answer even."

Undyne's reaction told her that her suspicions had been correct, as the fish monster blinked in surprise then narrowed her one eye with renewed anger. Toriel could see her work her jaw as she sorted through what to say back. But before she could, Toriel spoke again, wanting to avoid allowing the situation to degrade further.

"Look Undyne, I know you care deeply for him… He is something of a father figure to you, is he not?" She asked, willing her usual gentle tone to enter her voice. "I understand your anger on his behalf. But this is something he and I must handle at our own pace… if something has happened though... I fear that-"

Her words were cut off abruptly as the door to the room began to open again, revealing Alphys tapping out something on her phone as she stepped inside.

"U-Undyne, are you in here? Th-the kids have all left and I thought we could…"

The lizard monster trailed off as she noticed everyone else in the room, and the less than jovial atmosphere. She retreated a step, curling her thick yellow tail in front of her shyly.

"O-oh, am I interrupting s-something?" She stammered, gaze flicking between each of their faces.

There was a moment where no one replied, the tense atmosphere continuing to hang. Then Undyne shot Toriel one final hard look before facing her girlfriend with an all too sudden bright smile.

"Nah babe, its whatever. What's up?" She said, quick to turn her back on Toriel and walk over to Alphys.

The lizard monster gave a little nervous laugh before relaxing again, fixing her glasses that had gone askew in her fidgeting. It was impossible to miss the blush on her face too as Undyne leaned down close to look at her phone, lightly brushing her girlfriend's scaly cheek with her facial fins.

"W-w-well um." Alphys stammered before clearing her throat and going on in a stronger voice. "Xena and some of the others are going to Grillby's a-and i thought we could go too. I kn-know its kinda early in the day to go to a bar, but apparently Grillby is debuting some new drinks there today c-called uh… "hot shots."

From her place at her desk, Toriel couldn't help but let loose a barely restrained bit of laughter at that. Oh what a  _genius_ name. She would have to write that down later for sure. Perhaps her dear skeleton's humor had been rubbing off on the bartender after all these years. When she recovered from the giggles, she found all eyes in the room on her. A brief spark of embarrassment burned in her soul and she cleared her throat in an attempt to regain her composure a bit. By the stars, she'd been hanging out with Sans a little too much it seemed. She was so used to being able to laugh freely around him that she was forgetting herself and giving into her childish side a little more than she should be.

Undyne gave her an odd look and Flowey just groaned and rolled his eyes. Alphys did not seem to mind at least though, chuckling into a hand along with her. The lizard monster took a few steps over towards the desk then, her expression cheerful. A sharp glare from Flowey withered some of that cheerfulness as she approached, and made an odd emotion flash in her eyes that Toriel didn't quite catch. But the lizard monster snapped herself out of it quickly, still managing to offer a smile as she looked up at Toriel.

"Y-you should come too, Toriel." She offered, recovering further from her little slip by the moment.

Toriel blinked in surprise, then let out a little sigh mixed with a weary chuckle, resting her head in one paw briefly.

"Oh dear, do I look  _that_  much in need of a drink?" She asked, hoping none of her true unease was present in her voice.

Alphys quickly became flustered again, tapping her claws together in anxious little motions.

"N-no!" She squeaked, before grinning sheepishly. "Well I just meant uh… w-we haven't got to hang out with y-you much lately a-and-"

Toriel moved to lay a paw gently on the nervous lizard monster's shoulder, causing her to stop talking abruptly.

"I was only joking Alphys." She assured her, cutting her off with a warm smile. "I appreciate the offer… I… suppose I could do that."

Usually she would have declined such an offer, not exactly wishing to set foot in that bar with all those staring eyes again. But Alphys had looked so happy at the idea, and Frisk  _did_ have plans tonight with friends after all. Who was she to reject such a kind proposition? Her sentiments on that note were further justified as Alphys' face lit up again and she excitedly lifted her phone back up to her face.

"G-great! And since its Grillby's i-i'm sure that-"

As was becoming a trend it seemed, Alphys was interrupted once more. This time though, by a monster who appeared behind her in a sudden bright blue flash.

"did someone say grillby's?"

Alphys jumped and spun around to find Sans there behind her, flashing his usual wide grin. Toriel was pleased that she had seen his abrupt appearance coming, perhaps better knowing all his little quirks after all they'd been through. He shot her a little wink before turning back to Alphys with a feigned expression of sadness.

"i was starting to think you were gonna leave me out al." He said in a wonderfully melodramatic voice.

Alphys sighed in a mix of amusement and exasperation. She rolled her eyes and gave him a playful swat with her tail as she turned back to her phone. He gave a soft chuckle in response, bright smile returning. The sight brought Toriel a stronger smile as well, finding that is stirred some relief in her soul. Sans had been rather quiet and withdrawn the days after they'd destroyed the lab, enough so that even his friends and peers here at the school had taken notice. She'd been asked many times if something had happened to him, or if he was still sick. And every time she'd had to lie, usually exposing the extent of her own weariness in the process.

But he'd been doing better the past few days, likely helped by the fact he had not suffered any sort of nightmare the previous night. That smile on his face then was genuine, something she could now tell with confidence, and it always brought her soul warmth to see it. But some of that true cheeriness there faded slightly as he looked up at Undyne as she approached from behind him. Toriel couldn't be totally sure, but she thought she saw a brief flash of anger in his eyelights as he looked up at the fish monster.

"heya undies." He said with a wink, though his posture remained a little stiff.

Undyne groaned low in her throat in response to the nickname, sending a withering glare his way.

"Sans, I'm  _really_  not in the mood." She growled, earning a shrug from the skeleton and a concerned look from her girlfriend.

Before Alphys could question her though, Undyne promptly reached down and picked her up, holding the lizard monster in one toned arm. Alphys' face flushed a dark orange color as she was held close, apparently banishing the words from her mouth for the moment. Undyne turned to leave then, speaking to Toriel and Sans without even turning to look back at them.

"We'll meet you guys at the restaurant." She said, flatly, before marching right out the door with her girlfriend in tow.

In the silence following the door swinging shut, Toriel and Sans met each other's gaze again. She quirked a brow at him, a somewhat suspicious look on her face.

"You heard everything before Sans, did you not?" She asked, though her tone indicated she already knew the answer.

His grin became a touch sheepish at that, and his eyelights darted away briefly.

"uh... well… yah…" He admitted, fiddling a bit with one of the drawstrings of his hoodie, his usual blue one today.

"You are quite the little snoop, you know that?" She said after a moment, allowing her tone to lighten a bit.

Sans gave a light shrug of his shoulders, smile briefly returning before his eyelights fell on Flowey, who was still watching them in silence from his flowerpot. The sight of the flower monster caused him to stiffen, though she could tell he was doing his best to hide it. She felt her soul pool with vague anxiety as Flowey noticed he was now the center of attention and willed up a wry little smile.

"Golly, and here I thought you both had forgotten I was even here." He crooned, leaning his head on one leaf.

Toriel sent him a hard, stern look, demanding that he watch his words  _very carefully_. The glare appeared to work, as his bravado receded a bit, grin faltering as she spoke.

"Well... you are not much of a talker these days." She said, slowly. "Still… I apologize. I did not intend to ignore you."

Flowey chewed idly on the now bare lollipop stick, seemingly with a touch of indecision.

"It's fine Toriel." He said after a moment, that unnerving sickly sweetness creeping back into his voice. "I… enjoy observing, especially with all these interesting new developments unfolding."

As he said that last part, he directed his gaze back at Sans, who met it with an unreadable expression. The skeleton had been avoiding Flowey actively for a while now, for reasons she knew, and that made her soul pang harshly for him. The fact he could appear so calm and composed in front of one of the most damning sources of his suffering was shocking to her. Only the slightest wavering of his eyelights and his general stiffness gave away his true discomfort.

Oddly though, after another moment of staring him down, Flowey backed off. She didn't even have to send him another glare for him to do it. His smile fell and his expression briefly carried some emotion she couldn't quite recognize before it shifted into his usual crabbiness.

"Whatever, does this mean I have to go with you idiots to that greasehole bar?" He asked, before spitting out the stick and tossing it off of Toriel's desk." If i'm going, I am going to try some alcohol at least. I've always wondered why adults love it so much."

The statement had Toriel consumed by her usual maternal instincts, stepping towards Flowey and crossing her arms in a firm manner.

"Absolutely  _not."_ She retorted, tone indicating she'd hear no arguments.

Flowey stuck out his tongue at her and was about to say something else when Sans stepped up alongside her.

"yah, not happening. but don't worry  _bud_ -dy." The skeleton quipped in a feigned jovial tone. "i'll pop you over to frisk right now."

The flower monster hardly had time to protest. He only managed to recoil with a flurry of objections before Sans picked up his pot. Then in a bright flash, both monsters disappeared. Toriel blinked away at the spots of light in her vision that the display of magic had left in its wake, feeling anxiety well up inside her. For a few moments, she stood there alone, listening to the heavy pounding of the rain against the windows. Then the skeleton returned with another flash, brushing his hands together as if dusting them off.

"taken care of." He said simply, offering her a wink.

She couldn't help but look at him suspiciously, but he was quick to wave a hand in a reassuring motion.

"don't worry, i just dropped him off with frisk, the kiddo was still in the car with their buddies and the twin's moms out front." He assured her, expression sobering up a little.

It would be a lie to say that she was fully convinced by that, but she decided to trust him, releasing her anxieties with a little sigh.

"Very well then, though I do hope they are careful driving in this terrible weather." She said, beginning to gather up her things to leave. "We will certainly will be taking the longer, safer route to Grillby's."

"ya sure you don't wanna just take a shortcut?" He asked, walking over to pick up and hand her her favorite little snail patterned pencil from the corner of her desk.

She took it from him with a thankful smile, stashing it away in her purse along with the rest of her belongings.

"No, I would not want to leave the van here." She said, slipping her purse over her shoulder. "I will make sure to get us there safely… plus with how things go tonight, I fear that some of us may need an easy way for Papyrus to get us all home."

She said that last part through a bit of a nervous grin, and Sans' responding chuckle showed his agreement. The younger skeleton's firm declaration that he would be their designated driver in any and all trips to Grillby's had come after he seemed convinced that Sans' overindulgence of alcohol was what led to his brother's downward spiral. Even if he was not quite right about that, it was a rather noble thing for him to do, especially considering his open disdain for the establishment. Apparently though, Grillby had promised Papyrus all the milk he could drink the next time he came, so maybe that would lessen the displeasure he'd experience tonight.

"heh, good point. add that to the list of things we owe the coolest monster ever." Sans replied with a softer, fond smile.

Toriel nodded her agreement as the two left the room, Sans switching off the light behind them with his magic. As they walked down the hall towards Papyrus' office, a few realizations relating to what they were about to do sprung up in her mind. She turned to look down at him, her voice echoing lightly off the tall brick walls as she spoke.

"I guess I am finally going to get a chance to properly meet your friends." She said, a bit of her nervousness for that fact leaking into her voice. "Though… you have also not been back since…"

Sans grimaced somewhat at that with a nod. A sentiment was silently shared between them. It was hard to believe that day she'd gone to pick up him from the bar had only been a week ago, for life had changed so much for them since then that it felt like years had passed. The skeleton fidgeted his hands within his jacket pockets, eyelights drawn briefly to the floor.

"yah, hopefully they don't make a huge deal about it. grillbz oughta be cool at least." He replied in a somewhat dull tone, before looking back up to her. "you uh… really gonna be okay hanging out with undyne after all that? i doubt alcohol is gonna chill her out much, probably the opposite. you know how wild she gets when she's drunk."

Oh Toriel knew, for sure. One incident in particular that had ended with half the former royal guard naked in a fountain in the center of town came to her mind. The memory almost brought another giggle out of her, but unease still stirring in her from her earlier confrontation with Undyne restrained it.

"I… Do not think she would confront me further about this in such a public place." She reasoned. "Though, I feel I will have to talk with her further at some point. I  _was_  wrong for ignoring her like I did and… I fear something may have happened with Asgore that triggered all this…"

Sans hummed thoughtfully, eyelights briefly displaying an odd mix of emotions. But Toriel could see anger there again, faint and fleeting, but still enough to sharpen those little lights from their usual lazy glow.

"well, if that was the case, she coulda been up front about it." He said, grin stiffening at the edges as he did so. "she shouldn've laid into you like that. even if some- _fin_  has gone down with fluffybuns..."

The pun was clearly a method to try not come off as too serious, and the unexpected nature of it did summon a few giggles from her, despite herself. She wasn't sure how she should react to his anger on her behalf, it was both worrying and admittedly a little touching. But by the time she looked back to him again, any sign of it was gone, so she was content to let the issue be for the moment.

They went to fetch Papyrus, who was indeed none too thrilled about the plans for the afternoon. But he held true to his word and insisted he come along, if only to "ensure their survival" as he put it. After a bit of a mad dash through the rain while trying, and mostly failing, to all hide under one umbrella, the three piled into the van and drove off at a steady, careful pace towards Newer Home's center.

The bar was abustle when they arrived, all manner of monsters mulling about to make merry and escape the dreary weather. It was true most monsters probably still enjoyed the rain far more than the majority of humans, still novel to them in its newness, but even they far preferred the blessed light of the sun. Inside there was a warmth to rival sunbeams though, and not just because of the fiery bartender. The place had a life and almost familial atmosphere to it, where everyone seemed to know one another. It was a wonderful thing, but Toriel couldn't help but feel like an outsider, an intruder in this place. That sentiment only worsened when her entrance into the bar drew all eyes in the place towards her, as it had before.

And just the same, a detectable hush fell over the place as the patrons all took in the sight of their former queen. Oh how she hated it. But she did not allow her expression to betray how much their staring eyes churned the magic within her soul. She held herself firm and swept the bar with her gaze, looking for Undyne, Alphys or the others, looking for her excuse to escape. Eventually she spotted them in a large booth near the back, her height making the task fairly easy. They had already noticed her of along with the rest of the bar of course, and Alphys was waving them over.

Papyrus rushed past her and through the crowd towards them, but before Toriel and Sans could follow, a monster stepped, or rather stumbled in their way. The monster in question was a tan colored rabbit monster with swirly eyes, and she was clearly  _very_  drunk. She practically flung herself onto Sans, throwing an arm around his shoulders and taking them both by surprise.

"SANNSSSYYY." She exclaimed, full of intoxicated giddiness. "Where hav' youuu beeenn?"

Sans gave a uneasy little chuckle, trying to, politely, step away from her. The sight of her draped over him like that made some sort of angry twinge run through Toriel. It made her claws itch to extend out and a faint spark burn at the back of her throat. On top of that she had the sudden urge to pluck up the small rabbit monster and promptly toss her across the room. The feeling was so odd and sudden that she banished it as quickly as it came, embarrassed she'd allowed it at all. Stars, where had  _that_  come from?

Still, this inebriated rabbit was only worsening the staring of the bar's other patrons that her arrival had already caused. She eyed the two, unsure of what to do. But then Sans shot her an apologetic look that seemed to indicate he was used to this situation. Though that idea also didn't sit particularly well with her, she didn't intervene, only watched the odd scene unfold.

"heya bun…"Sans said, partially through an exasperated sounding sigh. "geez you're this wasted already? it's not even dark out."

The rabbit monster giggled and swayed dangerously, only avoiding falling to the floor by holding on to the small skeleton.

"Donn't juudggee meee" She slurred, the words coming out as if in slow motion. "Coome sit at myyy table Sanssy~"

With that, she attempted to lean in for a kiss, but he dodged quite easily, sliding out of the way as the rabbit monster stumbled and just barely avoided face planting into the hardwood floor. Toriel noticed then that the only reason she hadn't hit the ground was that Sans had taken hold of her soul, levitating her just enough to keep her upright.

"bun, we've been over this. i'm  _way_  too old for you. and you should have way higher standards." Sans said, expression flat.

The rabbit monster only laughed again, seeming to enjoy being levitated and waving her limbs a bit through the air as she addressed Sans again.

"Oh come onnn, i'm legall!" She insisted, tapping a paw against her chest before pointing at him with it. "and you're fricking hot as hellll."

Toriel eyes narrowed with irritation at that, finding this whole situation to be embarrassing on a concerning level. Why exactly it summoned that little bit of anger inside her again though, she couldn't be sure. Well no, that was a lie. She knew quite well now what that pesky feeling was, but she refused to acknowledge it or how it made her cheeks burn a bit. Sans seemed to find the rabbit monster's statement wholly unremarkable though, and gently set her down on the floor, keeping his hold on her soul.

"the alcohol must be going to your eyes." He shot back with a shrug. "why don't you just ask out that nicecream selling guy. he seems well, nice, heh…. and, y'know, in your age range."

His suggestion seemed to bring the drunken monster genuine pause, and after a moment of working it through her alcohol addled mind, she tilted her head at him a bit in confusion.

"Nathan? He's gaay Sansyy. Everyoone knowss that." She said, a little less slurred that before.

Sans blinked and then the grin on his face became sheepish.

"oh, well then sorry, can't help you there." He replied with an awkward little shrug. "just... go back with your buddies okay?"

With that, he slowly lifted her up again, clearly aiming to float her over to the table she'd come from. She didn't protest further, only crossed her arms with a huff. Toriel was surprised then to see the rabbit monster's gaze affix to her, an action followed by a pout. The rabbit monster vaguely waved a paw in Toriel's direction in an accusing manner.

"I seee how it isss…" She slurred. "your're into taller more eleegant types huhhh?"

That question seemed to be one too many for Sans, who promptly levitated the rabbit monster away then, dropping her lightly in a booth with some other young monsters a short distance across the bar. Of course, with everything going on, basically everyone in the bar was staring at them now. Even Grillby was looking their way, watching the scene with what might have been a disapproving look, though it was hard to tell with his lack of expressive features.

Toriel felt her anxiety rising as more and more monsters whispered to each other with their eyes glued on her. It was though their gazes were searing actual holes through her flesh and fur. She couldn't bare to meet their eyes, or any her friends' eyes from the back of the room. So instead she looked back to Sans, and the sight of him did indeed calm her fretful soul a bit as he returned to her side.

Unlike her, he seemed unfazed by all the staring, just as he had been unfazed by the drunken rabbit monster's advances.

"s-sorry about her, she's a little… much when she's drunk. which is most of the time, heh." He said with an apologetic look.

Toriel blinked at that, wondering what drove the poor girl to do to that to herself so often. Though she still felt that odd anger towards her, some of it melted away into sympathy. Another glance into the staring crowd broke her from her pondering and she drew herself up again with a firm expression.

"We should go meet with the others." She said quietly, glancing down at the skeleton.

She was immensely relieved when he nodded and helped her navigate through the crowd towards the back. Some patrons still stared, but most had turned away at this point, if only to be polite. A few more monsters greeted Sans as they walked and though he did return those greetings, he continued on all the while until they both reached their booth. The usual bar chatter started up again then and Toriel felt like she could finally breathe. She and Sans slipped into the booth across from Undyne, Alphys and Papyrus, and a familiar loud greeting from behind her told her that Xena, Danny and supposedly some of their friends were in the booth behind them.

It was all just a little overwhelming, but she dug into her old royal composure and told herself to relax. Her days of being a social recluse were over, she needed to get used to going out into crowded places again, even if it meant she had little choice in avoiding being the center of attention. She couldn't keep hiding away from her former subjects. If her absence from the throne was to ever be moved on from, she had to connect with them again, form a new sort of relationship with the public. Not as queen, but as one of them, just an ordinary citizen. She just had to… how did Sans put it?... Chill. Yes that was it.

So she did, as best she could at least. The five of them immediately launched into casual conversation. Undyne acted civil towards her, even if she didn't address her much. That was fine with her though, the others more and made up for it with their amiable chatter. Soon enough, the familiarity of it all began to calm her nerves. When Sans brought up the inevitable topic of drinks, Alphys flashed him a mischievous smile and informed him that she'd already ordered for them all. Toriel felt a bit suspicious about that, but was honestly craving  _any_  type of alcohol to the point she didn't argue. Who knows, maybe the lizard monster had good taste, and anything with as wonderful a pun name as a "hot shot" had to be special on some level.

With only poor Grillby, his daughter and two other employees handling the drink orders on such a busy night, she and the others knew it would be some time before their orders came. Except for Papyrus' of course, given priority as all designated drivers were, apparently. The skeleton was quite pleased by that fact and it thankfully lessened some of his general distaste for situation at hand, allowing him to start to enjoy himself too.

While the rest of them waited for their drinks, many monsters came over to the booth in order to talk to them, especially Sans, mostly expressing concern that he'd been away so long. He'd reassure them all in his usual fashion, cracking a joke or two in the process. It seemed to come naturally to him, and though she could tell part of him was worn out by it, there was a persistent glimmer of genuine happiness in his eyelights throughout it all. That fact alone made being introduced to these friends of his far easier for her. If they brought out that side of him for any reason, they must be monsters worth meeting.

They were certainly an odd bunch. A reddish bird monster with sleepy eyes who had a tendency to speak for Grillby, an aging fish monster who seemed just a bit too eager to discuss his romantic woes, a friendly plant monster with a mouth full of huge jagged teeth, but a winning smile nonetheless, a hamster monster wearing sunglasses who greeted her but didn't stick around to do anything more than that, an enormous white dog monster who was very  _very_  affectionate, a smaller white dog monster who nearly matched the bigger one in friendliness and who had stretched his neck over to them from the other side of the building, and finally another dog monster who was shifty eyed and curt but friendly enough, and made the odd comment that he hadn't been able to see that she was the former queen because she "wasn't moving."

She did her best to commit their names to memory, as she had often tried to do back when she had worn the crown. It felt like she owed it to them, for being kind and welcoming to her even with the fact that she had, in many respects, abandoned them and all her people long ago. All save for that hamster monster, but she was hardly surprised at least one of them wouldn't wish to speak to her. She didn't want to let the guilt fester in her soul and drive her away from making what amends she could, so she let it give her determination instead. In the end, the whole experience had made her soul feel warm with gratitude, and lessened that feeling of intrusion she'd felt before.

Those feelings only strengthened when a more familiar pair approached their booth, with bright smiles and wagging tails.

"Toriel! You came back!" Dogaressa yipped happily, as her husband spoke to Sans and the others.

Toriel was a bit taken aback by this, surprised the dog monster was so happy to see her after they had only met once. Still, she returned her warm greeting earnestly, grateful for it all the same.

"Greetings Dogaressa, you are looking well." Toriel replied, unable to keep herself from glancing at the dog monster's belly.

Dogaressa noticed the look and giggled lightly, pushing aside the hem of her cloak and laying a paw on her stomach. She was only showing a little bit of bump it seemed, not all that far into the pregnancy, but the sight still made Toriel's soul stir with old, buried feelings.

"That I am! And so are my sweet little pups. Though they certainly are giving me a hard time. Morning sickness is worse than I thought!" She said, ending her statement with a little whimper.

Toriel's smile warmed further at that, in a mix of sympathy and familiarity. She remembered what it was like to go through such things all too well. Without even really thinking about it, she offered some advice.

"It helps if you eat a lot of small meals throughout the day, instead of any big ones." Toriel said, meeting the dog monster's eyes again. "Bland foods like toast for breakfast worked well for me, and make sure you are drinking a lot of water between meals… Oh! And a little mint is good for when the nausea hits hard, and can help freshen you up a little after any bouts of it you can't avoid."

That last part escaped her with a playful, somewhat secretive tone and a light giggle.

"Oh thank you! I'll have to try all that!" The dog monster replied, tail wagging faster behind her. "It is so nice to talk to someone who has…"

Dogaressa trailed off, her expression suddenly shifting to something akin to guilt. It wasn't hard to guess why. Toriel knew that the story of the loss of her son and adopted child was well known by just about all of monsterkind by this point, spoken of like a legend. Everyone knew of her grief, and the extremes it had driven her and her ex-husband to. Unavoidable painful memories came flooding back at that point, but she set her jaw and focused on not letting them overwhelming her. Though her ruby red eyes clouded a bit, she managed to keep a small smile on her face.

"Yes well… you are welcome." She said in a softer voice. "And I wish you the best as you go through this Dogaressa. I truly cannot wait to meet your children once summer is here."

The dog monster's face lit up again at that, though some small trace of that sympathetic sadness lingered in her eyes. After a moment, she stepped a little closer and gave her a stomach another gentle, meaningful pat.

"Would you like to… feel?" She asked, voice gentle."The puppies aren't kicking yet, but their souls have grown enough that you can feel the magic from them."

Toriel's eyes widened at the offer and was briefly struck silent, unable to formulate a response. Pain rose up once more in her soul, more insistently this time. Due to the sudden lump in her throat, she only responded with a little nod before slowly reaching to rest her large paw on Dogaressa's lightly distended stomach. It took a moment for the sensations to register. But sure enough, she began to feel soft waves of magic thrum against her paw, resulting in a warm, almost tingly sensation. Each wave was individual, already having traits and subtle differences to make them stand apart from one another.

Eight little souls, all sharing warmth and love with their mother's soul and now Toriel's own, as though sensing her presence. At this age there was no hesitation in it, no fear. They knew no reason to be distrustful or show reluctance, not yet. Toriel wished beyond reason that they keep that innocence, that freedom. The comparison to her own, worn, weary and terribly wary soul was almost too much to bear. Her mind flashed back to when she had felt her son's soul in her belly for the first time, how it had been just the same. She let her paw linger a little longer before finally willing herself to pull it away.

The light familiar burn of tears crept into her eyes, and she took a deep steadying breath before looking back up at Dogaressa. The dog monster met her gaze with a kind, understanding smile.

"Thank you…" Toriel murmured, unable to say anything more.

Dogaressa nodded, and looked to be thinking of something else to say, when Papyrus suddenly spoke up loudly from across the booth. Apparently everyone had been watching the little scene unfold, quite enraptured.

"OH, M-MAY I ALSO FEEL THE LITTLE PUPPIES' SOULS DOGARESSA?" Papyrus asked, sockets sparkling.

Undyne piped up in agreement from beside her friend, flashing a wide eager smile.

"Dude! Me too!" She exclaimed, matching his volume.

Dogaressa giggled in delight and after shooting Toriel another soft, meaningful glance, she happily sauntered over to them and allowed them to take turns touching her belly. Dogamy hovered over her the whole time, nuzzling her cheek and practically in tears himself from pride. Papyrus went first, and his expression was one of wonder and joy the whole time. Undyne's usually fiery spirit was sobered up when she did the same, bringing a softness to the fish monster's eye Toriel had not seen before. Finally Alphys, after a bit of prodding, also partook. She was wide-eyed the whole time and was sweating a bit, but she managed a little smile by the end, taken in by the experience just as the others had been.

As this was going on, Toriel had slipped back into the booth a bit, trying to reign in her stirred emotions. She almost forgot that Sans was there beside her, and had witnessed the whole thing. The feeling of his hand gently resting on her arm quickly reminded her.

"hey… you alright tori?" He asked, though his voice betrayed his understanding.

She let out a soft, empty chuckle at that, running her sleeve over her eyes to rid them of the offending moisture before facing Sans with a weak little smile.

"Yes… Thank you, Sans." She said softly, not wanting the others to be distracted from their moment. "It is just… difficult for me to..."

She gave up on finishing that statement, not trusting her emotions to remain contained if she did. Instead she scooted back a bit, inviting him to get out of the booth.

"You should try it as well Sans." She insisted, warmth returning to her eyes. "It is truly… one of the most incredible things this world has to offer."

Dogaressa seemed to agree, hearing Toriel's words and stepping back over to them with a bright smile on her face.

"Yes Sans, please do!" The dog monster yipped, offering out a paw to him.

Sans blinked, suddenly pinned under everyone's eyes. His grin became a bit strained and a few beads of sweat formed on his skull as his eyelights darted between them all. When they rested on Toriel again though, he finally relented.

"uh... o-okay…" He said nervously, sliding past Toriel for the moment and sitting on the edge of the booth.

Dogaressa took his hand and laid it against her stomach, pressing it there lightly. Toriel watched the skeleton's eyelights as the sensation became apparent to him. They were uncertain at first, then brightened with surprise then softened into something truly warm and lovely. Soon enough, they had taken on that star shape again, shimmering brightly. Toriel was finding that such a thing was a rarity with him, only ever happening during moments that brought out his purest happiness or excitement. She made a little commitment to herself then, that she'd find more ways to make it happen more often.

"that's… pretty damn cool." Sans said, finally pulling his hand back. "uh... congrats again to you two, heh."

Both dog monsters thanked him then happily embraced each other, pressing their noses together in another round of nuzzling. Sans chuckled and returned to the booth, eyelights still shining a bit as he slipped past Toriel back into his original spot. The dog couple left then, bidding them all a good evening and Dogaressa shot Toriel one last heavy look before following her husband to the table where the rest of the dog monsters were sitting.

Undyne, Alphys, and Papyrus all chatted excitedly about the experience they just had, with Sans jumping in here and there. Toriel stayed quiet though, and it seemed none dared question her about it. She didn't miss the sympathetic glances that they shot their way. Even Undyne seemed to feel a little sorry for her, facial fins drooping slightly whenever she'd look her way. Sans did not give her any of those sad looks however. Instead, she was only a bit surprised when he pressed close to her in the seat, at least as much as he could without it looking… suspicious. He then laid a hand tentatively over her own in a silent show of support.

It was something that had become normal for them, but it was only now that they were in public did she realize how intimate the little acts could be seen as. He was sneaky about it, but that didn't stop her from feeling a touch nervous as she tried to look unaffected in front of the others. But her reservations did not stop her from feeling as though he'd pulled her back to herself, and she turned her paw around a little in order to give his hand a gentle, thankful squeeze. He squeezed back, and it felt like her soul had lept up into her throat, buzzing with a nervous but excited energy.

She was both grateful and disappointed when poor Grillby finally walked over with their drinks, flames looking a little weak from the apparent stress.

"I… apologize for… the wait." The elemental's soft voice crackled, like a low burning fire. "So very… busy."

He set down the drinks on the table in front of them, apparently knowing whose order was which already. He also slid Sans a bottle of ketchup, much to the skeleton's delight.

"aw grillbz, ya shouldn't have." The skeleton said with a grin, opening up the condiment first. "and ya gotta quit working so hard, you'll end up  _burning yourself out_ at this rate."

The fire elemental sighed softly in response, a curl of white smoke escaping the faint shape of his mouth. Toriel poorly stifled a giggle, and Grillby shot her a look that was both exasperated and maybe a bit amused before looking back at Sans.

"please... no fire puns tonight… or i'll put that on your tab…" He rasped out in his usual slow manner.

Sans shrugged in response and tilted the bottle back to take a nice big gulp of it. The rest of them thanked the bartender and Toriel in particular slipped some money to Alphys, telling her to make sure the poor elemental got a substantial tip for the night. Then they all turned their attention to their drinks, and they certainly were quite a sight.

All of them had received a tall glass and a smaller shot glass, an odd set up for sure. The tall glass was filled with a liquid brimming with magic that caused it to bubble with a light hissing sound. Curls of ethereal, colorful smoke curled up from the glass as well, also lightly sparkling with magic, and clearly the reason for the name "hot shot". Just what kind of strange concoction had Alphys ordered for them? It was unlike any magical drink Toriel had seen before. Each one of them had received a different color, Toriel's being a light purple that faded into a soft orange within the wisps of magic. She eyed it somewhat warily, as Alphys spoke up from across the table.

"Th-these are the hot shots." She said in a somewhat dramatic voice, waving her hands around her yellow colored drink. "Basically from w-what I've heard, the tall glass is essentially bottomless and y-you can refill the shot glass from it as many times as you dare to… th-though Grillby said you probably shouldn't have more than ten eheheh…"

It took a moment for the lizard monster to realize it was the wrong choice of words in Undyne's case, who only took the proposed limit as a challenge.

"Well, we'll see about that!" She said with a fierce grin of pure determination before, rather aggressively, pouring herself her first shot of it and downing it in a moment.

Her yellow eye went wide and her grin stretched even wider as her facial fins flared out to their full length.

"Woah Al, this stuff is  _crazy_!" She said, quickly refilling her glass. "You sure you don't want to try some Papyrus? It's awesome as hell!"

The skeleton only shot her a hard look from behind his milk glass, taking another sip before replying.

" _NO. THANK YOU_." He said, firmly. "AND AS YOUR DESIGNATED DRIVER AND VERY COOL FRIEND I SHALL NOT ALLOW YOU TO GO TO EXTREMES HERE. YOU WILL FOLLOW THE LIMITS SET BY GRILLBY OR I SHALL BE FORCED TO TAKE ACTION."

Undyne let out a hearty laugh before downing another shot and flashing him a toothy grin.

"Try it punk!"

As Alphys and Papyrus tried to talk reason into the fish monster, Toriel and Sans were a bit slower to take their first drinks. Toriel would be lying to say she was all too confident in the what she'd been served. As someone with a history of being something of a lightweight, and with how strong the drink in question was being hinted to be, she felt a faint sense of dread grip her then. But her still quite insistent craving for alcohol won out in the end, and she poured the magically tinged drink into the glass. She drank it, not in the traditional way one was supposed to down shots she supposed, but in a more dainty little extended sip.

The rush of magic that met her tongue and warmed her throat as she swallowed made her eyes widen just as Undyne's had. Some of her fur stood on end as well as something like a shock went through her. It was surprising, but not unpleasant, more… exhilarating, in a sense. Not exactly what she was used to feeling when drinking, but something she felt she could get used to. The flavor was also very nice, sweetened with just a bit of heat to counter the bitterness and help it live up to its name. As the initial effect wore off, she looked over to Sans to see how he was taking his.

He looked to be having the same sort of experience she was, sockets wide and hints blue of yellow flickering in his left eyelight as the magical effect of the drink took hold.

"hoo boy, pretty uh… intense stuff huh, tori?" He said, giving his head a little shake in an effort to clear it. "that grillby really is a master of his craft."

"He certainly is." She replied with a somewhat giddy little smile, deciding to wait a bit and see how she was affected before indulging further. "Just be sure you do not have too much, you remember what happened last time, do you not?"

Sans let out an nervous little chuckle at that, eyelights darting away. Before he could reply, Papyrus seconded Toriel's statement, pointing a demanding gloved finger at his brother.

"YES SANS, YOU MUST CONTROL YOURSELF!" He ordered, currently forcing his former boss to take a break by holding her shot glass away from her. "I WILL NOT STAND TO SEE YOU BECOME SO ILL AND UNLIKE YOURSELF AGAIN. NO SILLY DRINK IS WORTH THAT. I ALREADY HAVE TO DEAL WITH UNDYNE'S POOR LIFE CHOICES TONIGHT, DO NOT MAKE ME HAVE TO DEAL WITH YOURS TOO!"

The words actually seemed to sting Sans somewhat, guilt and other emotions making his eyelights go a bit hazy for a moment. But then he regained his composure and forced another one of his usual shrug and wink combos.

"yah yah don't worry papyrus, i'll  _beer_  careful, i'll just have a mar _tini_  bit, nothing to  _wine_  about. i wouldn't want to get  _drunk_ ed on after all."

Oh that just wasn't fair, a quadruple hit? Toriel had to cover her mouth with both paws to keep from laughing out loud, unable to keep a few snorts from escaping. Even Alphys chuckled from across the table, as she finally got to take a drink of her own. Undyne was not amused, and Papyrus, even less so.

"GAHHHH ALCOHOL ALWAYS MAKES YOUR PUNS EVEN WORSE!" He lamented, slapping a hand to his face in exasperation. "IT TRULY IS A CURSED DRINK, I VOW NEVER TO TOUCH IT FOR THE REST OF MY DAYS."

His declaration was met by another shrug from his brother, but Sans seemed to decidedly wait awhile before drinking further, favoring his ketchup bottle if only to avoid upsetting his brother. It went on that way for a bit, Toriel, Sans and Alphys being far more responsible in their alcohol consumption, while Undyne downed six more shots before Alphys had Grillby take her drink away. The fish monster had grumbled, but was decently content with the flavored sparkling water she was given afterwards.

In the end Toriel decided to only have a four shots of the special drink, fearing any more would make her more tipsy then she'd like to be. Sans settled on five, and Alphys only had three, perhaps seeing the effect it was having on her girlfriend and deciding against indulging further. Afterwards they all ordered some notably non alcoholic beverages to sip on while they continued to talk, some feeling the effects of the "hot shots" more than the others. Undyne was the only one that could be considered drunk, but everyone save Papyrus was at least a little tipsy. Toriel honestly found she was at an ideal level of mellowed out and giddy from it, her soul pleasantly warm from the newly absorbed magic.

It helped her chat with the others without the same anxiety as before, no longer noticing the looks the other patrons sent her way or lingering on the old pains the encounter with Dogaressa had stirred up. She was actually able to regain some of her old social confidence, and the next hour or so passed with amiable discussions about life, work and other, sillier things that managed to even gets laughs out of Papyrus and Undyne at times. It felt wonderful to hang out with all of them again and feel at ease all the while, even if the alcohol had been a big factor in that. Unfortunately the comfortableness that had been maintained all that time eventually can crumbling down, all because of one well-meaning question from Alphys.

"So T-Toriel, I-I hope you don't think i'm prying but… I just have to ask. Is everything really okay with you? Y-you seem so tired and s-spacey lately… I know you said you've j-just been having trouble sleeping b-but… it seems a little more uh… serious than that?"

The question had immediately made it feel as though the air thickened a bit, especially when the inebriated Undyne sent a slowly forming dark look Toriel's way.

"Yeah Toriiiel… Why  _don't_  youu tell us?" She said with a heavy sarcasm through her slurring.

Toriel's claws tightened around her glass of water, tension returning to her body and soul. The tension was clearly felt by everyone else, who eyed her and Undyne with sudden worried looks. Alphys especially looked confused and guilty, clearly trying to work through her nerves to say something. But Toriel let a sigh before she could, setting down her glass and crossing her paws on the tabletop before speaking.

"Undyne, I told you. I cannot tell you the details. It is a…" She paused, resisting a glance at Sans but taking in the abrupt feelings of unease she could feel coming from his soul. "A… personal matter."

A heavy silence amongst the group followed that, and Toriel took another little sip from her glass, trying to look anywhere but at Undyne. Alphys sputtered out a concedement to try and defuse the situation, and Papyrus gave his friend a little consoling pat. But Undyne still growled out something under her breath, harsh and full of alcohol fueled rage. The muttering irritated Toriel more than it usually would, perhaps due to her own inebriation.

"What was that?" Toriel asked, likely against her better judgement.

Undyne teeth grit together in something of a snarl, the question being what set her over the edge.

"I SAID THATS  _BULLLSHIT!_ " She outright shouted, facial fins flaring out as she slammed both of her fists down hard on the table. "WHAT DID YOU DO TO ASGORE?!"

The outburst had been loud enough to stun their whole side of the bar into silence. The music and general noisy chatter of the rest of the place kept it from being a complete spectacle like her entrance had been, but Toriel could feel all the eyes of the nearby tables on her along with those from Xena's table and the rest of her own group. An unsettling chill ran through her, feeling fainter than it should have perhaps due to her intoxication. Alphys and Papyrus stared at the fish monster in stunned silence, and Sans went totally stiff beside her. Toriel's soul thrummed quickly in her chest, and nobody moved or spoke for another few moments.

"He's been  _a wreck_  the past two daays." Undyne went on, venom coating the words. "He called in sick at the capitol building and has barely left his room since then. He's hardly eaten or talked to us noo matter what I say. And he won't tell me what happened, buut I know you had something to do with it! You just can't help but make him feeel like shit whenever you have the chance! So fesss up already! Stop being a cowaard for once in your life and  _tell me what you did to him!_ "

More silence followed, the eyes of her friends and the surrounding patrons now firmly shifting to Toriel in anticipation of her response. Undyne's words confirmed Toriel's suspicions in full about what had been bothering her. But she still had no idea what to say, the alcohol and sudden confused, conflicting emotions welling within her made it hard to focus, not to mention those damn staring eyes boring into her from all angles. Sans shifted a bit beside her, as if preparing to say something, but she spoke before he could, moving to lay a paw gently on his knee beneath the table in a thankful but firm manner.

"Undyne." She said in her usual gentle tone, knowing getting angry or bewildered in any way would only make things worse. "I did not do anything to Asgore. I have not even spoken with him since Monday, and we ended that discussion on fairly good terms. If he is distraught over something, then it likely is due to some other matter he does not wish to discuss."

A brief flicker of confusion and hesitation showed in Undyne's expression before it hardened back into anger, no doubt bolstered by the alcohol.

"I don't believe you." The fish monster growled, facial fins flattening against her cheeks. "I knoow you have something do with it, you are juust too much of a coward to admit it! You actively enjoy watching him suffer oover how much he misses you. You treat him like dirt, as if what you did back then wasn't just as terrible."

Her anger was building then, rising in her along with things she had clearly been dying to say for a long,  _long_ time. Toriel could see it coming like the receding of the ocean before a great tidal wave, and all she could do was hold her ground and let that wave of rage filled words wash over her.

"Yah he killed thoose human kids. I won't defend that, especially now thaat I know Frisk. Iff they were anything like them, then what he did was inexcusable. But you  _abandoned_  your kingdom and everyone in it! You left us all behind like we were nothing and left Asgorre to rule a withering hopeless kingdom alone. You chose the humans, the ones who imprisoned uss, and youur own selfish morals over the monsters that you swoore to serve!"

More eyes turned their way following Undyne's words, and out of the corner of Toriel's eye, she could see Grillby watching as well, though she could not make out his expression. If Toriel had worried over the ire her former subjects had for her before, she could only imagine how their souls were twisting with hatred towards her now, spurred on by these words. She could voice no defense for herself, not like she would have in the old days. Because, for in all reality, Undyne was right.

She  _had_  abandoned them, a kingdom she felt had betrayed her and her beloved Chara as much as Asgore had. She  _had_  decided to pursue her own morals and act out of desperation and pain instead of staying and trying to reason with her ex-husband further. She had done all that and more. Her soul carried that terrible guilt and the weight of all her resounding sins. She'd never truly, fully regret what she'd done, knowing she'd hate herself far more if she had even considered giving into Asgore's plans of genocide. But that didn't mean her actions weren't harmful, It didn't mean that she could escape the consequences, or the justified hatred of those her choices had hurt.

Undyne jabbed an accusing pointed finger at Toriel, jagged yellow teeth flashing. Alphys and the others seemed to only be able to helplessly watch.

"Stop tryying to act like you don't deserve the same shit that you give him. Stop treating him like gaarbage all the goddamn time! You are  _no better_!"

The words struck like a blow to her soul, crushing and deep and letting all her darker suppressed guilt seep from the wound like blood. She still could say nothing, only stare into the pained depths of the enraged fish monster's eyes. Then her gaze drifted over to all of the other patrons of the bar, most of whom were drawn into the situation at this point, and were staring back at her. None of this was truly new information for them, but hearing it like this may indeed be a first for them.

Looking around at all those faces, all those mixed reactions of anger, concern, fear, confusion and so much more from her former subjects, letting Undyne's words sink in and dig their ruthless claws into her soul, listening to that venomous voice of self-hatred in her head gleefully berate her, she knew what she had to do.

With little warning, she took a deep, slow breath and then stood from the booth, eyes dull and heavy. Then she slid out took and two steps away from them all, just enough that her intentions were clear. As she expected, Undyne's rage reignited in an instant.

"Where the hell arre you going?!" She shouted, standing from the booth as well and almost immediately swaying to the point that Papyrus had to steady her.

She could hardly bear to meet their eyes then, but did nonetheless. Alphys looked nervous, fiercely apologetic and was shying from the all intense gazes as much Toriel herself wished too. Papyrus looked almost ready to cry, so conflicted and unsure of what to do as he strained to keep his angry, drunken friend upright. And Sans, oh how she feared to meet his gaze. But to her surprise, he was not looking at her. Instead he was glaring at Undyne, eyelights sharp, and the left one perhaps carrying just a hint of light blue and yellow magic. When he did turn to her, it was with a nervous and sympathetic expression, with no hint of the newly realized anger towards her she had feared would be there.

Honestly, what had she ever done to deserve such a monster like him in her life?

"I am going to speak with my ex-husband." She announced, in her old projected royal tone, so that all could hear. "If his state is as poor as you say, then it could affect all of monsterkind if he continues on this way. He is needed, especially in times as uncertain as these. If he will not speak with you about what is troubling him, perhaps he will speak to me…"

She bowed her head then, probably looking as far from her past regal self as she ever had. She kept her tone as strong as she could manage through the alcohol in her system and her swirling emotions. But perhaps it was only thanks to her intoxication, and a few other notable factors, that she was able to go through with this at all.

"And you are right Undyne, I have been cowardly. I have stewed in my resentment and hidden from my pain long enough." She admitted, having to fight back her pride's attempt to silence her." I… will do what I can to make things right. Or at least… start to. You have my word on that, for whatever it is worth. That goes for everyone here… and all of monsterkind."

She dared another look at the fish monster then, to find the fire in her eye had faded and she was looking at Toriel with genuine surprise, clearly unsure how to feel. That brought Toriel some faint flicker of relief, but she did not dwell on it, quickly turning to look at Alphys.

"Thank you for inviting me out Alphys…" She said, genuinely. "Despite everything, I enjoyed it and I am glad I came. Please do not feel badly about any of this. Perhaps, you all should stay out a little longer, try and enjoy the rest of your evening. This is something I feel me and Asgore will need time alone to solve."

The lizard monster blinked, shrinking down a bit further as many eyes turned to her. But then she nodded, expression softening up somewhat as relief and understanding shone in her eyes. With that settled, Toriel turned at last to look at Sans, unable to keep her eyes from warming ever so slightly as she did.

"Sans, would you be willing to shortcut me to Asgore's home? I feel Papyrus is certainly going to need the van to get the others home later." She said, turning her body slowly towards the door.

Sans almost seemed to be expecting it, not flinching quite as much as Alphys when the center of attention was placed on him. Though his eyelights wavered slightly and a few beads of sweat dripped down his skull, he kept his gaze locked with hers.

"s-sure tori…" He managed with a weak, somewhat bewildered little grin.

He wasted little time in slipping out of the booth and walking to her side. He turned back once to face the others again, rubbing the back of his skull in a nervous little motion.

"guess i'll uh... catch you guys later… heh."

It was a rather poor attempt at levity, but it somehow managed to cut the tension a bit and Alphys and Papyrus managed small, nervous smiles of their own and waved him goodbye. Some of the other patrons began to softly speak to each other again around them as well, as though a spell had been broken. Toriel may have been focusing on the door the whole time she walked, but she was surprised by what she heard amongst the mutterings as she and Sans headed for the exit.

There wasn't much anger to be found in their tones. There was more concern than anything. For Asgore, for Undyne and most shockingly, for her. Indeed, one voice she recognized as Dogaressa's was near fretful with worry, voicing what sounded to be nearly tearful concern to her husband that Toriel may be so hurt by Undyne's words that she'd never come back to Grillby's again. It was as though the actual vitriol and message behind Undyne's words had not phased many of them at all.

The confused relief she felt almost summoned tears to her own eyes, but she didn't allow herself to think too much of it. For if so many of them were truly this forgiving, it only made her past betrayal of them all the more shameful.

Once outside, beneath the little overhang that sat above the door, she found herself faced again with the dreary gray sky and the continual downpour. She found it something of a comfort now, feeling as though the world were reflecting the inner turmoil of her soul. There was a beat where she and Sans remained silent, just watching the rain, then he laid his hand on her arm and looked up at her.

"tori... are you okay?" He asked hesitantly, eyelights surprisingly soft.

She chuckled humorlessly, the sound almost lost to the pounding of the rain.

"I thought we agreed that was a foolish question to ask in times such as these, did we not?" She replied softly, running a paw down her face.

Sans mirrored her little chuckle, shutting his sockets briefly and slipping his hands back into his jacket pockets.

"right, sorry…" He said, smile becoming a little strained. "geez… that was real shitty of her… to say all that i mean. don't… take it too hard okay? i'm sure the others get that she was just angry and drunk… they won't..."

He trailed off, only the sound of the sky's watery assault on the world below filling the air for a few moments. Then Toriel let out another sigh and forced more strength into her voice.

"Undyne's words carry truth with them, harsh as they were." She reminded him, red eyes hazy. "Did nothing she said… resonate with you? Make you feel differently about me? I understand if they did. You do not have to lie to spare my feelings."

She kept her eyes on the pouring rain, but she felt his gaze snap up to her, and then his hand resting on her side again shortly after.

"tori... i'm in no place to judge you." He said, voice heavy. "i have no idea how i would have reacted in your situation. i think we've all done some pretty awful, messed up stuff, and that we're all pretty messed up people. but... that doesn't mean we aren't… uh... still good, right?"

He seemed to cringe a bit at his own, almost Papyrus-like sincerity there at the end, covering his face briefly with a hand in exasperation.

"ah geez, listen to me… sorry, i'm pretty tipsy right now, not exactly making much sense, heh." He said, flashing her his usual, inebriated, wobbly smile.

Toriel managed another soft laugh, far stronger than the last. The warmth blooming in her soul from his response kept the terrible ache inside soothed for the moment. She reached over and gently rested a paw on top of his skull.

"Your words are always a comfort dear, do not fret. Thank you, truly. I will be alright." She assured him, feeling a small, more legitimate smile work its way onto her face. "I must ask that you take me to Asgore's home now though, before I… how did you put it back then? "Lose the nerve to do this.""

Sans' eyelights had warmed with her first statement, but then dulled with unease again at her last, eyeing her nervously. But after a moment he nodded, forcing back up a small grin.

"alright, just  _beer_  warned, this might be a bit less smooth of a ride than usual, on account of alcohol." He quipped, shooting her a wink.

It was such a little, normal thing, offering her a pun to cheer her up. But in that moment it just felt so meaningful to her that the genuine giggles that escaped her came with a flood of that warm feeling of love, guarding her soul further from the pain that wished to tear at it. After taking out and opening her large umbrella in anticipation and Sans giving her some proper time to prepare herself, the two vanished from the front stoop of Grillby's with a flash, briefly sending dancing colors across the sheets of falling rain.

The alcohol's effect on his system did indeed cause the shortcut to be a bit more intense than usual. It haphazardly dumped them with a bit more force than what was ideal onto the end of the stone walkway that led up to Asgore, Undyne and Alphys' shared home. They both had to right themselves quickly to avoid falling onto the sodden ground, huddling together under the umbrella as the dizziness and faint twinge of nausea wore off. Thankfully, Toriel found she was getting more used to enduring the strain of teleportation and was able to get her head to clear rather quickly.

She wasted little time then in heading towards the house, expecting Sans to teleport back to the others now that they had arrived. But he didn't, he stayed and walked right alongside her, pressing close as to share the safety of the umbrella from the heavy rain. Toriel again felt a surge of gratitude and the inevitable flutterings of her soul, certainly bolstered by the alcohol in her system. But she had to push all that aside for now and focus on the task at hand, or at least… try to.

After being silent for a bit, Sans finally spoke up and Toriel could now more clearly sense the unease radiating out from his soul.

"are you sure about all this, tori? seems a little… sudden. you don't have to do this just because undyne said all that, y'know?"

Toriel's smile softened at his concern, and that old selfish part of her voiced its own agreement, but she smothered it and pressed on, replying without taking her eyes off the house.

"It is just as you said of your need to destroy your old lab." She said, elevating her voice over the pouring of the rain. "This is something I have to do, and have been avoiding for far,  _far_  too long. Undyne's words only made that more clear. If me and Asgore are ever to truly move on and begin healing from what happened in our past, then it must be done. As terrible… horrific as his actions were, he deserves that too. And Undyne is right, my own soul is far from guiltless in all of this. We cannot continue to let all this pain and resentment fester, for it is only a poison for everyone involved. You understand, do you not?"

"yah… i understand, tori." He said, in a dull, but earnest tone. "but… are you really sure you're up for this right  _now_  though?"

She knew the true meaning of his words, this time sparing a heavy glance down at him for a moment. Her own soul gave an uneasy churn, but she hoped it was from a simpler matter than what she feared, and she carried the same hope for the nature of his question.

"If you are referring to the alcohol, worry not. It might not be ideal to have in my system while handling this, but I will be fine, dear. It is not enough to impair me. I can handle this."

She didn't come quite as confident as she wished, but her resolution was evident enough. Still, Sans' unease did not wane. In fact, she swore she felt it worsen, meeting her own unsettled magic in somewhat erratic waves.

"i... didn't just mean the alcohol, tori…" He said, tone suddenly serious.

Toriel abruptly stopped then, just a few feet from the steps of Asgore's home. She was quiet for a moment, his words and their implications stinging her soul harshly for a few moments. The rain pounded down around them, unyielding, endless.

"I know." She said quietly, deflating a bit. "My issues with him still linger, that fear, that sick feeling of dread. The… PTSD as you were right to call it. I may never be fully rid of it, but I know it certainly won't improve by me going on the way I have. This is something I must do. And truthfully Sans… you are the one who helped me realize that."

With that she turned to face him, angling the umbrella so they remained beneath it. Sans blinked up at her, faint confusion etched on his features. Her smile turned warm again, as the admiration in her soul was willed into her words.

"You have shown so much bravery throughout this, dear, no matter how much despair and pain it has forced you to relive, you have found the strength to push on with it, and do what had to be done regardless. It is high time I start learning a thing or two from you and do the same, is it not?"

He blinked again, then seemed to accept the truth of her words and managed a weak, empty little grin, along with a light blush across his cheekbones for the praise. A slow nod in response was all he gave to her question, but Toriel could tell he was wishing to say more, so she waited, hoping to encourage him. He shuffled his now sodden slippers a bit and his eyelights darted to the house, carrying a hint of anxiety and something else she couldn't quite catch.

"do you, uh… think you two will…" He started to ask, but quickly trailed off, losing the will to finish.

There was something like resignation in his voice, a kind of sadness. But it was a sadness overshadowed by guilt, as if he did not feel justified in feeling such an emotion, as if his sadness was something he felt deeply selfish for. And soon enough it all just burned away to shame, as he forced a weary, fake grin back into place.

"uh, n-nevermind… heh… just good luck, y'know?" He said with feigned casualness, giving her a little wink.

He took a small step back, probably preparing to shortcut himself back to the others, or even back home perhaps. But it mattered not, for Toriel reached out then and gently laid her free paw on his arm, stopping him with her touch. He blinked up at her again, and those little lights within his sockets seemed to look through to her very soul.

She knew what it was he feared, though she found it so surprising, almost laughable, that she almost couldn't believe it. But those feelings were unwarranted, for with how she'd been restraining herself from telling him how she felt,  _of course_  there would be some part of him that was plagued with such doubts. She had been plagued with the very same doubts on a regular basis, had she not? Her poor, dear skeleton, if only he knew.

But in that moment, she found that concept ridiculous. Why couldn't he know? What was stopping her now? Clearly his feelings for her were deep enough that he'd worry over such things, that the thought of her with another would hurt him, even if he wouldn't admit it. Her original fears had been that sharing her true feelings would overwhelm him, strain their newfound bond and be an unneeded, even debilitating stress on him during a time where he was struggling with so many things. But if she was wrong, it might just be the opposite. Perhaps, as she had considered before… this could be what help gave him hope for the future again.

That idea, the boldness granted to her by the alcohol flowing through her magic, and the fact her own feelings were practically erupting into a blaze within her soul, was what finally broke her resolve. The words themselves did not feel appropriate for that very moment, but there was something she could do that would serve the purpose well enough.

Before any doubts had time to creep in again, she knelt down to his level, heedless of her dress becoming wet in the process, pulled him close with her free paw and pressed a kiss against his teeth, as she been wishing to for so very long. Both their souls spiked with emotion, almost making it feel as though time had stopped. Sans inevitably reacted in surprise, but all the uneasy emotions she'd felt from him melted away mere moments later, leaving the magic flowing from his soul wonderfully warm and radiant as it met her own. He couldn't quite return the kiss obviously, but he did at least press back into it, reaching shaky hands to lighty grip at the sides of her face.

Their magic seemed to leap and flow between them and all around them in that moment. Their souls reached out to each other by effortless instinct alone, giving the sensation their emotions were shared equally between them, as though feeling everything as a singular entity. For the moments the kiss lasted, all Toriel could hear was the roaring of the rain and the roaring in her ears. It was bliss, pure bliss she hadn't dared to dream she'd experience ever again. Then reality had to stick its claws in her once more, reminding her of what she had come here to do. Though she wished more than anything to just stay with him, to revel in what had just happened at long last, she knew what had to be done.

She allowed her lips to linger a few more moments, before reluctantly pulling away and meeting his gaze again. To say her dear skeleton looked about as flustered, happy and confused as could be would be an understatement. The cyan coloring on his face was enough to rival the sea of echo flowers in Waterfall. His grin was wide, wobbly and downright giddy and his eyelights were shimmering, perhaps brighter than she'd ever seen them. Most striking of all regarding them though was that they were not the star shape she somewhat expected but  _heart_  shaped instead, something she had not even known was a possibility with him.

He wished to say something, perhaps a million different things but Toriel knew that this was not the right time to have that conversation and that if he did start it, she may not be able to resist the urge to be drawn into it right along with him. So with a gentle motion, she covered his mouth with a paw to halt any potential attempts at speaking, scarlet eyes nearly matching his with their deep, shining warmth.

"I must go now…" She said, surprised at how strong her voice was. "But I hope… that was enough to banish whatever worries weighed on your soul."

She removed her paw and his wonderful smile remained as he tried to formulate a decent reply, reduced to a rather stuttery mess.

"y-y-yah…y-yup... s-sure was." He finally managed, before letting out a breathless, exuberant little chuckle.

He met her gaze one more time, that same reluctance to leave that she felt shining there in the bright lights of his eyes. But understanding washed that away, accepting her words with a somewhat shaky nod.

"i-i guess i'll uh… s-see you l-later then, h-heh..." He stuttered out, the enduring elation in his expression making her soul soar within her.

He sobered up somewhat then, the shock wearing off into a comfortable sort of bliss. But he still put some of the necessary weight into his final words before departing.

"good luck tori." He said in a stronger voice, and perhaps with one of the warmest smiles she'd ever seen from him.

Then he was gone in the usual flash, leaving her alone with her own swirling emotions. It was only once he was gone that the true weight of what had happened set in and she briefly felt her entire face burn in the wake of that realization. They had crossed the threshold, the line that had previously defined their relationship as platonic, leaving the future to be uncertain surely but so very full of possibility. Possibilities that made her soul seem to overflow with a giddy sort of excitement.

That bitter, mocking voice in her head was silent and the sting from Undyne's outburst had dulled to the point it barely registered, unable to possibly take away from the satisfaction and joy of the moment. But she did have to repress those feelings somewhat after a bit, knowing that she needed to tackle what she was about to do with a clearer head than one of a silly, lovestruck lady who had clearly worried too much.

It took some time, but eventually she was able to ride out the little wave of euphoria and focus again, allowing the joy of the moment to shift into the strength that she required for the task ahead. She took one last deep breath before climbing the stairs to the house and standing before the door. Today was set to be a day of beginnings, of steps, and of endings it seemed. All equally important in finally coming to fruition.

Toriel resolutely raised one paw and knocked on her ex-husband's door.


	22. Flowers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The long awaited Asgore and Toriel confrontation T v T I was so excited to write this and really like how it came out. And it is actually a reasonable length for once (in my case that is ;v;) 
> 
> Hope you all enjoy~ And look forward to what's to come. Thanks for all the support as always <3 
> 
> (Warnings for this chapter: Mention of Police Brutality, Mentions of Death, Blood etc)

To Toriel's surprise, it did not take Asgore long to answer the door. Indeed, it only felt like a few moments later when she heard his heavy footfalls approaching from inside and then his fumbling with the lock due to his large paws. She did not have any real time to wonder as to why that was before the door was pulled open with a low creak, revealing the full form of her ex-husband in the doorway. The sight of him did not trigger the usual terrible unease in her that it usually did, unable to penetrate her lingering bliss or the numbing veil of intoxication, but it still manage to make her tense up slightly.

As she took in his appearance though, a good deal of that tension began to dissipate. Undyne was right, he really  _did_  look awful. His golden mane was a tangled, frayed mess, his eyes were dull and baggy and the shabby excuse for a robe he was wearing certainly did not speak to his royal status. The emotions that the sorry sight of him stirred in her were… conflicting. But she did not allow her thoughts to drift as she drew herself up to greet him.

"Dre-... Asgore." She said, changing her method of referring to him at the last moment.

The other boss monster's eyes widened and he blinked a few times, as though it had taken him a moment to realize who she was. Now that he did though, the shock was written all over his face.

"Toriel? Wh-what… what are you doing here?" He asked, stammering a bit.

Whatever haze had been enveloping his mind receded further then, as he seemed to take in the sight of her, looking increasingly nervous.

"It's pouring out, and… oh goodness, your dress is soaked." He noted, quickly stepping aside. "P-please… come inside… I-I can m-make some tea or... "

"Thank you, but that will not be necessary." She cut him off as she stepped inside, expression still held firm and silently hoping he wouldn't ask  _why_ she was avoiding tea.

She took a few steps further into the house, closing and stashing her umbrella while briefly rubbing her sodden feet on the doormat. While she did, she couldn't help but glance around at the home's interior. It had been a while since she'd last been over, but it all still looked to be the same.

Same large living room with an equally large television flanked by two towering shelves full and overflowing with anime, cartoons, manga and video games. Same cute, tidy kitchen off to the right, with pale pink and yellow tiles and faint burn marks on the wall from Undyne's many failed cooking attempts. Same plush, oversized couch covered in odd pillows depicting cat eared human girls. Same escalator-like staircase installed by Alphys leading upstairs. And the same vases full of beautiful flowers just about everywhere they could reasonably be placed.

It was certainly not a congruous home by any means, but it had its own charm and matched well the residents who lived there. It was easy to tell why Frisk enjoyed their stays here the last week of each month, especially in regards to the shelves stuffed with human media. Toriel couldn't help but be concerned for the potential content held in all those odd shows and books, but she couldn't dwell on that at the moment, even if the alcohol in her system made spacing out far easier than usual. No, she needed to focus, what was happening now was far too important for her to be distracted. She took a deep breath, turning towards Asgore once more with the same stiff expression.

"Asgore, I have come here because you and I need to talk." She said, pleased with how she was holding her composure so far.

Asgore flinched slightly, his back still to her from his task of closing and locking up the door. But he faced her quickly afterwards, trying in vain to smooth down his disheveled mane a bit and forcing a weak smile.

"O-of course! What… about exactly?" He asked, a terrible dread creeping into the edge of his voice, one that seemed to drain his already dwindling vitality from him.

The sensation was mirrored in her own soul somewhat. But she wouldn't let it win over her. She'd come too far to turn back now. Too much rode on this discussion finally taking place. This  _had_  to be done, for everyone's sake, her own fears and pains be damned.

"Many things." She replied, simply, in that same flat tone. "Could we go somewhere to sit down? Or have I caught you at a bad time?"

It was somewhat of a cruel question to ask, given that his state clearly told her the answer, but that realization only came once the question had already left her mouth. Regardless, Asgore shook his head, eyes heavy but tinged with a bitter kind of acceptance. Toriel did her best to ignore the prickling of guilt that the expression brought to her soul.

"Oh no, i-it is fine Toriel, now is fine… I wasn't..." He trailed off, curling his claws into the edge of his messy robe somewhat. After a beat, he shook himself and managed to get that feigned smile back on his face. "Please, uh… follow me."

With that, he began towards the door near the back of the living room. Toriel expected that might be where he'd take her, and followed without comment, willing herself to remain as calm as possible. The alcohol was quite useful in aiding that task, and some part of her was quite grateful she wasn't tackling this sober. Maybe it would prove to be for the best, allowing the pain and rage that would surely come out at some point during this to be dulled, not making her face all the tragedy and misery of their past in full clarity. She would take that in a heartbeat. Anything to make this more bearable.

He led her into the room, a sizeable indoor porch framed on three sides with windows that nearly took up each wall and positively filled with all manner of flowers, herbs and other plants growing in pots and hanging baskets. Most notably perhaps, there were an abundance of those painfully familiar golden flowers. Beyond that, an impressive skylight offered dreary light from above, and allowed a clear view of the rain pounding down on the world below. There was a door leading to the backyard, where Toriel could vaguely see Asgore's beloved gardens through the drenched glass, covered with protective tarps to shield them from the worst of the ceaseless downpour. It seemed even with the dire state her ex-husband was in, he hadn't dared neglect his dear plants.

He gestured then to a table and set of chairs in the back corner, sitting amongst some of the most colorful and impressive flowers the room had to offer. On a nicer day, it would probably be a lovely little place to sit and enjoy the sunshine with a cup of tea, or to read a good book. Now though, it had the unfortunate honor of hosting the harrowing discussion that was about to unfold, what very well may be one of the most difficult, if not  _the_  most difficult talk either of them would ever have in their lives. A talk that held no chance of them escaping it unscathed.

She suppressed a shudder and did what she could to distract herself from that thought as she moved to sit in the chair nearest to her. Instead she focused on the sound of the rain, letting her alcohol addled thoughts drift just enough to distance herself. Asgore may have given her a concerned look, but she didn't really notice it, waiting with her head low for him to sit across from her. But he remained standing, stiff with indecision, and after a few more seconds he spoke up again.

"Excuse me just a moment, I should go uh... fetch you a towel." He said trying to sound somewhat casual and avoiding eye contact. "W-would you uh… like anything else while I'm at it?"

Toriel blinked, she had nearly forgotten how the front of her dress was soaked, only now noticing with a somewhat clearer head how the cold, damp material was clinging uncomfortably to her legs. The circumstances of how it had gotten so wet more than made up for it though, bringing a pulse of warmth to her soul and faintest flicker of a smile to her face. It took a moment then to remember she had been asked a question and started a little before giving a quick nod.

"No, just the towel is fine, thank you." She replied, face quickly returning to a emotionless mask.

He gave a small nod of acknowledgment, wringing his large paws together. After another brief moment of hesitation, he bowed his head and left the room, leaving Toriel alone with her thoughts, and the dull roar of the rain against the glass. She took in the brief semblance of calm that the pleasant sight and scent of the vibrant plants around her offered, doing all she could to keep her thoughts away from the ticking time bomb of the impending conversation. So she focused instead one a nearby pot of flowers, bright blue cornflowers to be exact, all lovingly raised to their full vibrancy.

They reminded her of the only thing she truly wanted to think about at the moment, her dear skeleton. Of how he might be taking her bold act, perhaps struggling to appear unfazed back with their friends, or lying about at home alone with those heart shaped eyelights of his still dancing merrily in his sockets. Those musings at least gave her the assurance there was light of the end of this truly dark tunnel, that once she'd seen this through, she could look forward to a infinitely more desirable conversation at home. But for now, she had to push that all aside, as Asgore's rather quick re-entry into the room promptly reminded her.

He approached cautiously and handed her the towel in silence. She laid it over her lap and used it to dry off as much as she could manage. As she did, Asgore remained standing, worrying his lip with his fangs and rubbing the back of his neck.

"So tense... ha ha…" He noted, finally breaking the silence with a poor attempt at levity. "A-are you sure you do not want anything? Not even just some water or…"

"No Asgore." Toriel cut him off, her patience beginning to wane. "Please, sit."

He obeyed without any further resistance, sliding into the chair across from her and crossing his shaky paws on the table. For a moment, neither spoke, or looked directly at each other. But then Asgore again found his voice, drumming his claws lightly on the table in a nervous little motion.

"So… you came over to talk…" He said, the words not being a question, but a resigned statement. "Does that mean… you... feel ready to discuss…?"

He trailed off, and Toriel could feel his eyes on her. Her unease must have been plain to see, for his tone gained a sympathetic edge as he went on.

"It is okay if you're not Toriel… in truth… as much as I wish for us to be on better terms again. I hardly feel ready either…" He admitted, and she saw him lower his heavy gaze to the table out of the corner of her eye.

There was a beat, then her soul was gripped with determination again, frustrations with herself and everything else flaring up once more. She straightened up and faced him with a steely gaze, mouth drawn into a thin, hard line.

"It needs to be done. I feel I have avoided it long enough." She said firmly, curling her claws into her lap. "But I did not come just for that. There is something else I must ask you before we… get into anything else."

Asgore blinked in surprise, bi-colored eyes seeming to brighten a bit in attentiveness. He looked at her expectantly, waiting, so Toriel went on. She hoped she could get the words out without any of her personal pain leaking into them.

"Undyne has been just about mad with worry for you." She said, finishing up with the towel and folding it by instinct in her lap. "She says you have been terribly distraught the past two days and that you will not tell her the reason as to why. And judging from your appearance, it seems she was indeed telling the truth."

He deflated a bit at that, eyes flashing with a mixture of fear and anguish. Toriel felt a pang in her soul, but the reason for it escaped her, perhaps lost to the alcohol in her system. She went on, allowing her voice to soften just a bit.

"She blew up at me at Grillby's today, she thought I had done something to you to cause this. I told her that I would come here and find out what was wrong. So... will you tell me what has been troubling you?"

The question hung in the air like a mist, and the rain continued to pound down around them. The streams of it swirled and carved paths down the glass windows in erratic, mystifying patterns. From somewhere deep in his throat, Asgore gave a weak rumble of a laugh, running shaky claws through his mess of a mane.

"Ha ha… I should have known she wouldn't leave it be." He rasped, fatigue evident in his tone. "I dearly apologize Toriel, she should never accused you of such a thing. I didn't consider the idea that she would blame you at the first sign of my distress…"

Toriel blinked at the apology, but then hardened her gaze again, silently demanding a true answer from him. He heaved a deep sigh, great shoulders slumping in defeat. It seemed Toriel's instincts had been right after all. Asgore may be able to brush off Undyne's attempts to get through to him, but he could not muster up the same sort of defiance in the presence of his former queen. The thought brought another uneasy churn to her soul, but she paid it little mind, giving her full attention to the other boss monster as he replied.

"There was… an incident at the capitol building on Wednesday." He admitted at last, eyes glazing over further. "It hasn't gotten out yet because the other officials insisted upon covering it up as much as possible… to avoid furthering tensions."

He paused again, but only briefly, just long enough that Toriel could catch a dark shame pass through his eyes.

"Gloria Porter…" He spoke the name as if it carried a truly terrible weight, and Toriel knew all too well why.

An icy chill ran through her, making her soul seize up and her eyes widen. Gloria Porter was the name of one of the relatives of the fallen humans. Specifically, she was the mother to Dante, the last human to fall before Frisk. Toriel remembered him well, he had been dark skinned with a lovely poof of curly black hair on his head. He had often wore the apron he had fallen down with, along with his beloved frying pan for a hat. He had been an incredibly compassionate and talented child, who had spent more than a week with her, likely just because he could sense her incredible loneliness. He had been a green souled child, a soul of kindness.

His mother had been among the sparse few living relatives of the fallen humans who had been contacted shortly after monsterkind had been freed, among those who still lived. Many of the children had been orphans or had fallen decades ago, leaving the actual group of relatives small. Nonetheless, they had gathered for a trial, to help decide what Asgore's punishment should be for the slayings of the human children. Toriel had been shocked at how many of them were willing to forgive Asgore, or at least openly state they did not wish to see him executed or locked away forever for his crimes. After hearing the monster king's testimony, many of them even seemed sympathetic towards him, though not without some deep pain and anger still lingering in their eyes.

Toriel herself had spoken at the trial as well, stating humanity should be allowed to decide Asgore's punishment, but that she herself believed he should be shown mercy in the end. She had been told through letters afterward that her testimony on her experiences with the human children helped many of the aging relatives find closure in their family member's deaths. It had also been enough, it seemed, for many of them not to press for a full conviction.

Rather, the majority voted for Asgore's potential punishment to be postponed for at least a decade, so that monsterkind could rely on their king during the arduous process of acclimating and integrating monsters into a new life on the surface. And that even when that punishment came, it would not be with death or an inordinately long prison sentence. That was the decision that had let Asgore walk free and continue to guide his people as he did now.

It was a show of mercy and compassion that was beyond anything Asgore, or any monster, could have ever hoped for, and it had dominated the headlines for weeks afterward. The relatives had come out of it fairly pleased with the results, many of them content in just finally being able to know what became of their lost older sister, older step brother, cousin, niece and so on. All except one, Gloria Porter.

No matter what was said by any of the parties involved, she could not let go of the hatred she felt for Asgore for even a moment. It was like a fire that only burned hotter, no matter what measures were taken to extinguish it. She demanded from the beginning that Asgore's blood be spilt, and body be dusted for taking her beloved son from her, making her thoughts on the matter loud and clear any chance she got.

The poor woman had been wracked with grief for decades, having endured a life marked not only by the loss of her son, but also countless other deaths, addictions, and other terrible misfortunes. Misfortunes that had been part of the reason Dante had run away to the mountain in the first place. She'd eventually ended up in long term mental care by necessity for the trauma, and finally hearing the truth of the events surrounding her son's death had not brought her any peace. Indeed, only the opposite.

When the decision had been announced, there had not been a soul in the place that was not chilled by her hysterical rage, wishing death upon Asgore and all of monsterkind. The last any of them had seen of her had been when she'd been forced to leave the premises, likely taken back to the facility that had been doing what it could to help her.

But for Asgore to speak her name now… Toriel could only continue to stare at him, eyes widening in ever worsening dread.

"She… showed up at the meeting I was attending with Ebott City's district officials." He croaked, claws curling slightly into the tabletop. "No one could seem to figure out how she got past the guard, but... When I got up to speak… she jumped the divider and... she... pulled a gun on me…"

Toriel's soul leapt into her throat, unable to breathe momentarily. Now she truly cursed her intoxication, as the terrible implications and near disaster of the situation Asgore was describing was taking far too long to sink in. And he kept right on talking, heedless of this, letting out a hollow sort of chuckle.

"I guess she was unaware that I wear armor beneath my robes during political functions… ha ha…"

Any trace of even that incredibly false humor disappeared then, and she could see how badly he was beginning to tremble, enough that his claws lightly scratched at the wood of the table.

"The human police that were there. They jumped her immediately… tased her over and over… n-no matter how much I begged them to st-stop… they were utterly…  _merciless_  towards her, even though they must have known h-her reasons as to why she'd... "

The shame and guilt momentarily overwhelmed him then, and he sunk his head into his paws, breathing heavily. Toriel took his actions as an indicator of the the worst possible thing, laying a paw over her soul and feeling horror steal the breath further from her lungs.

"Oh stars…" She breathed, voice trembling. "D-did they…  _kill_ her?"

Some semblance of relief gripped her as his shook his heavy head, causing more of his disheveled mane to fall over his eyes. He hardly even made an effort to brush it away before croaking out a response.

"No... No… B-but I fear it was only because I f-finally lost my nerve and shoved them off. They just… wouldn't stop... I did what I could to heal her, ensured she was stable at least. Eventually an ambulance came… and they left her in h-handcuffs on the stretcher… as if she could have p-possibly have done anything further in her condition..."

She couls tell he was weeping weakly now with the way his shoulders shook, but her soul remained distant from the scene before her. She was too caught up in imagining that poor aging woman being set upon by those officers. Asgore was right, they must have known the pain and grief she suffered that triggered her to do such a thing. How could they be so cruel? Though if Gloria had succeeded in her efforts… the idea of that outcome summoned an equally cold shiver down Toriel's spine. Across from her, Asgore gained the strength to finish his recount, voice now openly trembling.

"Th-they said she'd probably end up back in a m-mental care facility, a more s-secure one out of state this time, d-depending on how she recovers…"

After those words had left him, he kept his head in his hands, looking far smaller to Toriel than the monster king ever had, or should for that matter. The guilt she could faintly feel from him was bitter and cloying, like a biting winter wind on an already freezing night. Her own emotions remained tight and conflicted within her as she watched him shudder. She couldn't reasonably say he didn't deserve to feel this way, given what he had done to spark all this pain and hatred. But something light and akin to pity did stir in her, even if it was only a flicker.

"I see…" She said at last, once she trusted her voice to be even again. "Well… There was nothing you could have done, Gloria has proved impossible to reason with. I cannot blame her at all for feeling the way she does, but killing you would have solved nothing, it only would have driven more humans and monsters to hatred and violence. We will simply have to see what we can do for her once she has been treated, if anything."

Asgore lifted his head in surprise, exposing his pained, tearful eyes. He blinked a few times, as though unable to fully understand her words and causing the tears to spill down into the golden fur of his beard. Then his expression softened, though more for resignation than anything else.

"I... I… suppose… you are r-right Toriel…" He rasped, wiping at his eyes with ever shaking paws. "I couldn't bear to tell Undyne or Alphys a-about what had happened... I informed that them I had c-called in sick, but in truth I was told to take some leave… m-my staff are… quite worried for my health… Rightly so, I suppose. I… c-cannot seem to get the sound of that poor woman's screaming out of my head… i-it was so much like her son's..."

The terrible regret he felt upon speaking those last few words was immediately evident on his face, as his eyes snapped back up to her, wide and brimming with despair. Toriel couldn't move, her mind and soul suddenly flooding with her old anguish again, her old vehement rage. Dante's young face appeared in her mind, covered in flour and giggling gleefully after helping her with a pie. Then his expression morphed to agony, and her imagined version of his desperate screams filled her ears, piercing them until she feared she'd go deaf. Her red eyes burned like two wickedly hot embers as she glared her ex-husband down, digging her extended claws into the table. Smoke curled from her nostrils, flames burned within her throat, and her lips pulled back into a barely restrained snarl.

"T-Toriel… I…" Asgore stammered, cowering back from her as though he truly expected her to attack him on the spot.

His broken eyes carried a century of regret and self-loathing. Something no bitter diatribe or hatred of her own could ever hope to add too. As much as the more broken parts of her inflamed the urge to tear into him, make him pay for his actions, what remained of her rational side, her true, compassionate self, forced the inferno back. So though her soul despised her for it, and the alcohol made it a more difficult task, she drew in a few shuddering, steadying breaths in an effort to calm down.

The rain continued with it ceaseless symphony all around them, and the now almost comforting roar of it did help her continue to ground herself. After a few moments more, she was able to dissipate much of the tension within her, willing her claws back in and swallowing the hot flames. Her snarl withered only into a hard, clenched grimace and her eyes still carried a deep fire to them. But in the end, she was able to steady herself just enough to speak without the words carrying any of the bite her rage wished them to.

"Go clean yourself up…" She murmured in a low, dull tone. "And clear your head… Come back when you have calmed down... and are ready to talk about this."

Again, she was faced with his surprise at her actions, her self control. Though she only saw his reaction faintly in her peripheral vision, as she had decidedly turned to face the rain drenched windows, head held low. She knew that he understood her true meaning, even from just the faintest glimpse of his expression. Though the fact was not one that set well with her, she still knew him well enough to read his small tells with confidence.

He had lingered for a while longer, mouth opening and closing again as though he were trying to summon words that just wouldn't come. Then he deflated with resignation again, and she vaguely noticed the faint glimmers of a few more magic tinged tears rolling down his face. He shakily stood from the chair and trudged out of the room in silence, each one of his heavy footfalls lightly vibrating the array of colorful plants around them and causing their leaves and flowers to tremble just as he did.

Once the door closed behind him, It was Toriel's turn to sink in her chair and bury her face in her paws. Pain lanced its way through her, as her anger could only unleash its assault on her own soul rather than her ex-husband's. When the tears began to burn at her eyes, she didn't fight them, letting them escape her as she choked out muffled sobs against her paw pads. Maybe it was because of the alcohol, maybe it was just because it simply hurt too much to be reminded so viciously of the children she failed, but it mattered not. Better to let herself give into it now, rather than potentially break down in front of Asgore when he returned. She knew that if he saw her in tears like this, any hope of a constructive conversation would be lost.

So she wept along with the skies above, both releasing their burdensome weight through heavy drops of moisture. But while the rain outside continued on without any sign of stopping, Toriel eventually was able to get the tears to cease. It took a while, and she was thankful Asgore was requiring an equally long time to face her again. By the time he did return, she had found her composure again, willing her mind to drift in the space between detachment and proper attentiveness. Her expression was blank, empty even, with the only signs of her brief slip of emotion being her red rimmed eyes, and the damp, matted fur on her cheeks. Asgore showed a similar sort of resolve in his posture, though far less confident, as his now dry eyes still carried a fierce pain within them.

He took his place across from her again without a word, keeping his head low just as she did. There was a beat where their silence continued, then Toriel drew in a long, deep breath and let it out just as slowly. After that, she finally began to ask the questions, and speak the words she'd wished to direct at her ex-husband for more than a century.

"Tell me why." She demanded, still in that cold, dull voice. "Why did you make that choice after our children died? Why did you betray everything we had previously stood for, spit on the name of our human child and declare genocidal war on their entire species. I want to hear your explanation."

Only the rain answered her back for a short time, the only sound coming from Asgore being his shallow, shaky breathing. Then he mirrored her efforts to steady himself and forced out a reply.

"I have no good explanation Toriel…" He relented, weakly. "I was blinded by rage and grief, a pain I could not even fathom. I… felt monsterkind had suffered long enough, and that I had reached my breaking point. And I felt they had to pay for it all at long last… I craved justice… and I didn't stop to think through what I was doing. I  _couldn't._ All I could think of were all the friends and family that humanity had stolen from me."

She caught the faintest hint of anger in his ancient eyes, an anger that had never truly left him, even with all the regret he carried for his actions. But it was gone again in a moment, replaced only with fatigued despair.

"After that initial fire had burned out, once you had gone, and I was left to face what I had done alone... I should have realized just how wrong I was. I should have come after you… For I knew where you must have gone. But I didn't… I just couldn't... Despite my remorse, I saw my words had brought hope back to the eyes of my people… And I couldn't… take that from them again."

He stopped, and she could feel him looking at her, waiting for a reply. When she continued to refuse to meet his gaze, he dropped his eyes again with another hard shudder. Toriel felt as though her efforts to keep her mind in a somewhat of a fog were working, as if she were listening to all this play out from far away. Though it was surely worrisome, it helped her maintain her air of controlled calm in her response.

"Hope means little if it requires hatred and malice to accomplish it." She declared, the words heavy. "Your plans were to pay humanity back in blood, leave not one human alive on the surface by the time your vengeance was fulfilled. To show them no mercy, as you so eloquently declared that day. You wished to deliver to them a fate far worse than even what they had done to us."

Her scarlet eyes darkened at that, and her breathing faltered momentarily before she was able to get it even again.

"You spoke like some demon drunk with bloodlust, I saw nothing of the monster I onced loved in your eyes, in your words. Even your soul look like that of a dark stranger to me. And worse, our people looked the same, as though they had simply been waiting for the opportunity to show their true colors, the true depths of their hatred."

Her head rose then to meet his eyes as a newfound strength was instilled in her from her words. She held his gaze, knowing and no longer caring that some of her pain was no doubt showing through.

"I remember standing on the balcony above you, seeing how the monsters celebrated your declaration. Not one voice was willing to speak up for Chara… or their species. You denounced them, after everything you built them up to be, after putting that massive burden of importance on their young shoulders, the very burden that certainly pushed them to such extremes to try and save our people. You had the  _audacity_ to put the blame on them for this, to act as though they were never our child, to declare their entire species as deserving of death, when  _Chara was all the proof we needed that humans were capable of love and deserved mercy just as we did!"_

Her voice rose on that last sentence, a mere fraction of her true anger leaking into the words. Asgore took her outburst without a word, silently letting her harsh words strike him deep within his soul. Toriel knew she was losing her cool, so she focused on letting her anger seep down into her claws, allowing them to extend and curl harshly into her lap. They dug so deeply into her legs through her dress that they hurt, but she kept it up, heedless of the pain as she continued.

"I could not stand to leave them there, in the clutches of monsters who were so quick to turn on them,  _despise_  them, after they had given their very  _life_  for them. I felt as though I were looking into nothing but a sea of hatred, of which I could not bear to call myself the queen of. So when you came back down to our room, and refused to go back on your declaration, I took my child's body and left. I wanted them to at least be able to rest peacefully in a place they were loved."

Despite all her efforts to restrain them, tears welled in her eyes again, burning hot with a century's worth of tormented emotions.

"Did you ever love them Asgore? Or were they just a pawn to you? An end to satisfy your means? You called them the future of humans and monsters, but did you ever truly believe that?"

She pinned him with her gaze, demanding an answer. One tear broke through her attempts of repression and spilled down into her fur. Asgore was smart not to comment on it, simply obeying her silent demands.

"I  _did_  love Chara, Toriel. I still do. But... you are right in all you've said." He admitted, voice hollow and small. "I… betrayed them. There were times where I selfishly saw them more for what they could be rather than what they were. I…  _feared_  them deep down, all those years they lived with us. Their outbursts of violence, their instability, and especially after their reaction when they accidentally poisoned me…"

He shuddered again, but certainly not just with the fear he was speaking of.

"I was a coward, I took the easy way out and blamed them and their kind for it all. I c-cut them from my soul as well as my life, just as you said. And even when I realized that and saw the beast I had become, I still made myself kill every human who fell, clinging to that v-vile hope I had instilled in my people. And I fear that if Chara and the others are still looking down at us from somewhere, then there is no apology I could give that could p-possibly be enough for how deeply I have wronged them."

Now his eyes were filling with tears again too, though he may not have even realized it, looking so very lost in his memories. Something in his words was able to get past her haze of pain and anger enough to dull the fire inside her. Why that was, she couldn't be sure, but she accepted it and willed her emotions under her control again. Meanwhile, Asgore leaned a little closer, his eyes imploring and broken to the point it made her soul seize up a bit inside her.

"That goes for you as well T-Toriel…" He insisted, voice breaking as he spoke her name. "I am s-so unbelievably sorry, for hurting you so badly, for b-betraying our family, for giving into my hatred and cowardice, for everything I've done. I know the w-words can do nothing now, b-but I feel they must be said."

He crumpled again after that, covering his face with a paw and weeping softly, plaintively. Toriel could only watch, letting his words settle on her soul. They were words that were warranted and that she'd honestly wanted to hear for all these decades she'd been apart from him. For that, there was something of an easing inside her, perhaps a release of some sort. But it came with a painful reminder of Undyne's outburst towards her and the fish monster's harsh, biting words were suddenly echoing in her ears.

Words of her own gathered at the back of her throat, words that her pride and indignation did not wish her to say. But she knew they were necessary, and the only way this pain between them could ever hoped to be assuaged going forward.

"Well… I am sorry too, Asgore." She forced out, just over the sound of his weak sniveling.

The impact of that, made him freeze and dare to face her again. His wide eyes bore into her own, and though it was difficult, Toriel willed herself to not turn away. She watched as his expression slowly shifted from shock, to disbelief, to guilt, to finally desperate confusion.

"What? Wh-what could you possibly…?" He stammered, seemingly lost for words. "Toriel, you have done nothin-"

"Asgore,  _stop_." She interrupted him, voice elevated.

He did, still unable to keep his wide, bewildered eyes off of her. She closed her own eyes briefly and released a deep, drawn out breath through her nose. Her selfish, dark, angry side once again screamed for her silence, but she dutifully ignored it.

"We shall never settle any of this if either of us pretends my soul is guiltless in what unfolded back then. Just… please, let me speak. Listen to me."

He blinked, still quite stunned, but then he slowly nodded, relaxing back into his chair by degrees. Toriel had to take another few moments to gather herself again before continuing. She knew what she was about to say would not come easily. Her eyes briefly drifted to the flowers behind him and she was once again struck with their vibrancy, the clear love and hard work that had gone into raising them. Perhaps all his pain was part of what drove him to so lovingly care for his gardens, to have the chance to nurture life again rather than steal it as he had in the past. It was a fleeting, somewhat silly thought, but it helped give her the will to keep speaking regardless.

"I should not have left as quickly as I did." She said, in a stronger tone. "I should have tried harder to convince you that what you were doing was wrong. I should not have turned my back on my subjects so quickly. I too, was blinded by my grief and my anger. I saw what my shattered soul willed me to see, and I was hurt too deeply to be reasonable."

Just as he had done before, she leaned a little closer on the table, willing him not to break from her gaze, just as much as she was willing it for herself. The words came easier now, spurred on by a new sort of fire in her soul.

"I too eventually found fault in what I was doing, after being in the Ruins for some time. I knew deep down that your soul was too soft to keep up the hateful rage you had displayed before. I could have come back and talked you out of it then, I could have tried harder, done more to ensure those children would survive. But I did not. For I was so hurt and embittered towards you and my former subjects that I could never bring myself to set one foot outside that place again. I was… broken, Asgore. And beneath my nobler intentions… I was just as consumed by my cowardice as you."

The admittance was painful, and she felt some of her strength be sapped from her soul as the words left her. But as the guilt twisted inside her like an angry snake, there was also something cathartic about finally being able to face her misgivings. It was easy to allow herself to blame Asgore for everything, to see him as the source of all of their shared suffering. And she had, regrettably, fallen into that mindset before. Especially during her decades of languishing in the ruins, slowly losing sight of reality and falling deeper into the fantasies of her tormented mind. The truth hurt, as the saying went. But it was still the truth, and it felt better to hurt for it than continue to lie to herself.

Asgore's shock hadn't wavered at all during her little speech, and she could hardly blame him. Her ex-husband likely never expected her to do something like this. If not for the alcohol buffering some of her own emotions, she lightly would be far more shocked by it as well. Eventually though, the truth of her words sank in enough that he did not try to claim her innocence anymore. She knew he likely didn't fully accept her role in all this, and no doubt didn't see it as measurable to his own sins, but he was willing at least to take it in. And that made the air clear, just a little.

After that, the words of admittance, of guilt, of long festering pain, came easier for both of them. They spoke of that terrible day, finally properly discussing it for the very first time. They spoke of their grief for Asriel and Chara, the horrific sin that was the killing of the six fallen humans, the loneliness they'd both faced, how the crushing isolation had damaged Toriel, how the stress of ruling an increasingly hopeless, withering kingdom had damaged Asgore, how their once loving marriage and general relationship had fell to ruin so very fast. They spoke of all that, and so much more, more than Toriel ever thought she'd be able to manage. And during it all, both managed to stay dry eyed and fairly calm.

By the time they had run out of things to say, or perhaps just out of energy to keep up such a trying conversation, the rain outside had finally dwindled to a light sprinkle, as the coolness of night swept over the world below. The faint pattering of the rain was the only sound in the quiet following their long talk. Eventually though, a silent sort of agreement was had that the conversation was best ended now, before any potential dark feelings could poison the atmosphere again. Toriel lifted her weary scarlet eyes to her ex-husband, willing him to look at her.

"Thank you, Asgore…" She rasped, voice far weaker now than when they'd began. "For agreeing to speak with me."

He blinked, and a sort of sad, tired smile formed on his face. It was the closest to a real smile Toriel had seen from him the entire time she'd been there.

"It is I that must thank you, Toriel." He replied, but quickly faltered and corrected himself when she narrowed her eyes at him. "A-ah, or uh rather… I... thank you as well, ha ha…"

Fairly satisfied, she began to gather her things up in preparation to leave. Her limbs felt heavy and her mind was foggy in a way she couldn't blame on alcohol. She felt... strange. But it wasn't a wholly bad sort of strange she supposed. It was a bit too confusing to make proper sense of at the moment.

"I should probably go. The others will begin to worry." She reasoned, straightening up with her purse slipped over her shoulder.

She paused briefly, debating with herself momentarily before letting another question slip.

"Will you… be alright?" She asked. 

It took him off guard again, but then softened his weak little smile a bit more. Gratitude welled from his soul enough that she could feel it from across the table. She tried not to give it much focus, still unsure how to feel about it.

"I'll… get by." He replied softly, absently running his claws through his messy beard. "I think I will feel better once the others get back. I promise... that I will speak with them about what happened, in the morning."

Toriel nodded, but still hesitated. In all honesty, she still wasn't convinced he was in a safe state to be left alone in. But Asgore noticed her look and gave his paw a weary little wave of dismissal, eyes brightening just enough to be noticed.

"Do not worry about me, Toriel. Go on and head home, I know you must be exhausted, this has certainly been... taxing for the both of us." He rasped, before, oddly, an almost teasing smile crossed his features. "And at any rate, are you not eager to get back for… other reasons?"

His tone was suspect, and she realized it was the same tone he'd used that  _other_  rainy night they'd spent in each other's company. There was something knowing in it, but the meaning was taking a bit to sink in after everything she'd just went through. All she could manage was a confused quirk of her brow and questioning sound in her throat. She was almost startled when a hoarse rumble of a chuckle escaped him, and a tiny bit of mischievousness shone in his bi-colored eyes.

"Earlier, I was not in the best state of mind…" He said, still maintaining that odd grin. "So I thought I must only be hallucinating, but… I saw something quite interesting unfold from the window."

A moment passed, then another, then realization hit like a punch to the gut. She fought with what little composure she had left to not let her embarrassment show on her face too much, but her face was positively  _burning_ beneath her fur. Stars above, have mercy.

"You… saw…" She croaked out, unable to finish and unknowingly shrinking down a bit in her chair.

Another one of those deep laughs escaped him, and it sounded even lighter than the last. Perhaps if she weren't ablaze with embarrassment and other concerning emotions at that moment, she would have recognized the true significance of that. As it was though, she could only remain rigid in place and resist the urge to bolt as he answered her.

"I've known for a while now, you are not the best at... hiding your affections, after all." He said, with a tone that implied he knew from experience. "For what it is worth, I am happy for you Toriel. I think you have made a good choice, I can see he makes you happy."

Toriel blinked, utterly dumbfounded. Her mouth wouldn't cooperate with her and her mind was in something of a whirl. The inevitable question rose up in her, and she let it escape her as soon as she could manage it.

"Y-You are…  _okay_  with this?" She asked, as though it were inconceivable.

He did not laugh this time, the subtle darkening of his eyes showing that deep down, it was an idea that still cut him deeply, still made his soul ache for things long past. But his soft smile remained and the warmth he was able to summon back to his eyes after a moment was genuine. They reflected a kind of quiet resignation, and it was mirrored in his tone as he answered her.

"My last memory of you was seeing your tearful eyes burning with rage and grief, just before you ran away with Chara. That was the image of you that haunted me all those years. But he has brought back your laughter, your joy, and for that, I must commend him. You  _deserve_  to be happy again Toriel, you truly do."

His words banished that last bit of hot embarrassment she felt to the back of her mind, feeling the sincerity of his declaration. She did not reply right away, trying to figure out a response and sort through the confused tempest of emotions swirling about within her. Eventually though, she found the words, coming to her almost subconsciously.

"Well… I am not sure what it is that monsters like us deserve." She replied, meeting his eyes again. "But… the past is behind us now. Nothing can change it, it is done, and we must live on with the consequences of our actions. We must move towards bettering the future, making amends, rather than losing ourselves endlessly to the guilt and pain of our past. We both owe that to those we have hurt."

She closed her eyes briefly, as a fresh wave of pain rolled through her soul. After enduring so much of it today, she was able to ride it out with little reaction, but it made her tone grow more heavy as she went on.

"I see now, that there is nothing more to gain from holding on to this pain. Those children… though I only knew most of them for a short time. I know they would not have wanted me to continue to suffer this way. Despite me failing them in the end, they all showed me nothing but kindness and love. I am sure they would want their memory to be honored and used as a source of change, not to spur on endless cycles of hatred."

With that, she re-opened her eyes, and felt something in her soul shift along with them. There was still something she felt needed to be said before she left. The final bit of closure she could offer. She straightened up and then and, hesitantly, reached over and laid a paw on top of Asgore's. She waited for the terrible chill to consume her, for the blood to fill up her vision, for screams to echo once more in her ears. But none of that came, only a vague, perhaps expected sense of unease. She didn't dare question it, and lightly tightened her grip on his paw.

"So… while I fear I cannot ever fully  _forgive_  you Asgore, at least not for what you did to those children… I am willing to move on past this, as much as I can manage, so that we may begin to properly heal and start over… as… friends... If of course… you can also do the same for me, that is."

His eyes widened again, before flooding with a warmth she had not seen from him in over a century. Tears followed suit, but they were not the tears of anguished regret he'd been shedding all evening. Rather, they seemed to be born of pure joy. It was not a feeling she herself could mirror, nor could she offer any sort of smile in return, but she did find… some relief in his reaction, and even more in his reply.

"O-of course Toriel…" He stammered, wiping at his damp eyes with his free paw. "I… fear even th-this is more than I deserve..."

She blinked, considering that. After a moment, some warmth returned to her own soul, surprising her. She let it run its course through her magic, working its way up to her mouth. As it did, a small, tired smile slowly appeared on her face. She let it sit there, allowing herself to ignore her fretful thoughts and be content, if only for the moment.

"Perhaps…" She murmured in reply, turning her eyes up at the skylight above them. "But even monsters like us deserve mercy, Asgore…"

The rain outside had stopped, leaving her vision full of nothing but bright, brilliant stars.

A few minutes later, Toriel found herself at the front door, bidding her ex husband farewell. Before she could leave though, Asgore had insisted on giving her something to take back with her. She had paused, puzzled, but nonetheless waited for him there in the doorway. He returned with two small sets of potted flowers, offering them to her with a smile.

"Take these, for your home, as a token of my gratitude." He insisted, handing her a small pot full of bright purple hyacinths.

She took them, realizing with a beat that he must have remembered after all this time that they were one of her favorite flowers. He was also a big believer in the concept of "the language of flowers" so there was a possibility the choice had some deeper meaning as well. Nonetheless, she did feel a small bit of gratitude for the gift and pressed her muzzle into them for a quick sniff. They carried the same comforting fragrance that she remembered. Asgore's voice brought her gaze back to him then.

"And take these, for… for him." He said, handing her the other pot.

She blinked, accepting it in her other paw and looking down at the lovely blue forget-me-nots it contained. She recalled that first day beneath the willow tree again, how Sans' gaze had been drawn to a patch of those very same flowers many times over. They were a soft blue with a yellow center, matching the colors of his magic. The name also carried a certain kind of irony to it, given Sans' situation with the resets. Asgore couldn't have known Sans' full connection to these flowers, but had chosen them anyway, perhaps recognizing something about them that reminded even him of the skeleton. She met his eyes again with a questioning look.

"It is... always good luck to begin a courtship with flowers, yes?" He asked, offering a weak, somewhat sheepish little smile.

It was such a silly thing, yet also so very considerate, that she couldn't help but return his small smile. She cradled both flower pots gently in her arms as though they were precious treasures, and bowed her head a bit in a small gesture of gratitude

"Thank you, Asgore." She said, a hint of warmth to her voice. "I hope to see you next week on Monday. The school gardens are… not the same without your care."

The statement was enough to again surprise him and bring a happy shimmer to his eyes. After a moment where he seemed a bit lost in his emotions, he offered a nod in reply.

"I'll be there." He assured her, in a tone that made her believe him. "Thank you again, Toriel… Thank you..."

The light had been restored to his eyes, and perhaps even to his soul itself. And unlike before, Toriel could feel peace in the fact that she'd brought him that happiness, with no trace of that bitter, sick feeling in her gut. It was… nice, and her smile brightened a little more for it.

He asked if she needed a ride back, but she politely declined, informing him that she preferred to walk back home. It wasn't far, and it really was a beautiful night now that the rain had finally cleared. It would also give her some time to clear her head further, and let everything that had happened sink in. He accepted that with another soft smile and then finally bid her goodnight, stepping back into the house and shutting the door behind him.

Toriel turned and took the first few steps down off the porch, pausing briefly in the same spot she had before entering the house. Her eyes were drawn up to the stars above, and she took a moment to appreciate their brilliant radiance, as she had often made an effort to do since returning to the surface. As she traced the patterns of white lights up in the cosmos with her eyes, her enduring smile grew wider.

She hoped with a small welling of tears in her eyes, that wherever her children were, be that her son, Chara and all of the humans she'd onced cared for, that they were smiling too. Perhaps now… they could finally be at peace. She allowed herself to hold on to that idea, if only for her own sake.

With that, she set off down the path towards home, drawing in a purposefully deep breath in order to take in the pleasant scent of the night air left freshened by the rain, as well as the even more pleasant scent of the flowers in her arms. Those forget-me-nots in particular reminded her with a great swell of warmth within her soul of the far happier events of the day, the bright spot in all these re-emergences of the darkness of the past. She quickened her pace a little, letting it match the stirred pulsing of her soul. Each beat of it and step she took allowed her to leave a little bit more of that darkness behind her, giving way to the light of her soul just as the rain clouds had given way to the light of the stars.

Soon enough, her thoughts had focused back on what she'd been wanting to think about more than anything since she'd finally acted on her long growing feelings earlier that day, and her pace increased just a bit more.

After all, there was a certain skeleton back home that she was quite eager to see again.


	23. Devotion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All I can say is... finally >;3c Its fair to say I had a lot of fun writing this. 
> 
> A bit late this week, college is killer this semester so that might be the case with updates for a while, but hopefully I can still get them out on a semi-weekly basis. Especially since the next "arc" is one i'm really excited to write. 
> 
> (Warnings for this chapter: nothing major, unless you count deadly amounts of fluff)

Toriel's soul felt lighter than it had in ages by the time she reached home. There was a sense of accomplishment and optimism that gripped her that seemed adept at banishing any attempts of her more negative thoughts or worries to creep in. That didn't mean some anxiety didn't linger, but it was more out of excitement than any sort of real dread. It was a feeling she hadn't felt in ages, maybe had never felt to this extent.

" _Goodness, look at me, practically acting like some besotted teenager_." She thought with a chuckle at her own expense as she walked up the steps to the front door.

She paused before opening the door though, trying to prepare herself for what she would say to him. Potential ways the impending conversation could unfold spun about in her mind, just as they had for most of her walk home. Finally she shook those endless thoughts away, letting them fade back into the veil of bliss and mentally preparing herself for what she might find inside. After all, she had gotten a text from Frisk while she was still at Asgore's place. It had informed her that her child and Flowey had arrived back home from their outing with their friends, and were with Sans and Papyrus, who seemingly had headed back home early from Grillby's. She needed to be able to keep a straight face around the human child and younger skeleton at least, until she could find a chance to talk to Sans alone.

Unable to keep a little smile off her face, she shifted the flowers in her arms to free a paw and open the door. She was met with an empty kitchen and dining room as she stepped inside. Well, empty except for a certain small, white dog was quick to rush into the room and jump up to greet her. Perhaps if she wasn't in such a good mood she would have been somewhat perturbed the animal was still in her home, no doubt getting up to some sort of mischief. But as it was, she simply smiled down at him and gave him an affectionate rub between the ears. As she did, she perked up her own ears a bit to listen, seeing if she could hear where any of the others were.

It was still oddly quiet for a moment, as if everyone else in the house had fallen silent. But then she heard the familiar sounds of Flowey shouting at some video game from Frisk's room, and then the clipped tones of Papyrus' voice coming from the living room, uncharacteristically quiet. Curious, she stepped around the dog and headed in that direction. When she rounded the corner, she found herself faced with a far more somber scene than she expected. Papyrus was sitting on the couch with Frisk, who was curled up in his lap, and the skeleton had a sad look on his face. Frisk looked rather worried, at least past the clear signs of sleepiness in their expression. Her entrance into the room garnered both their attentions, and they eyed her in an oddly wary manner.

"H-HELLO TORIEL…" Papyrus managed after a moment, offering a weak smile.

He fidgeted his gloves together nervously, sharing a nervous look with Frisk.

"H-HOW DID IT GO? WITH ASGORE I MEAN..."

She blinked, realization settling in again quickly. Of course, they were expecting her to be a wreck after everything that happened, and here she was sauntering in with a big dumb grin on her face. She blushed a bit and cleared her throat, trying to mask the more joyful emotions still buzzing about her soul. The smile wouldn't totally leave her face, but it did fall to a more neutral expression.

"It went quite well, my friend." She assured him, going to set the purple hyacinths on the coffee table. "I was able to find out what was bothering him and we settled things from there. We settled… quite a few things in fact. I cannot tell you exactly what happened due to the nature of some of it, but I assure you he will be alright."

She met her child's eyes then with a warm smile, brushing the flowers out to display their full vibrancy.

"How was your movie Frisk? Did you have fun?" She asked, practically by instinct.

Frisk blinked up at her, looking a touch dumbfounded. Both Frisk and Papyrus' expressions communicated they were confused, surprised, but still rather unconvinced by her earlier words. After a beat though, her child did raise their hands and sign to her a simple (Yeah it was fun.) before shooting a puzzled glance at the flowers. They pointed at them in a questioning manner, quirking an eyebrow.

"Oh, these were a thank you gift of sorts from him." She said, still holding the other pot close in her free arm. "You know Asgore, always with the flowers for any occasion."

A bit of her usual snark crept into her voice then, but it was still tinged with much more good humor than usual. Papyrus smiled in response, but there was still some nervousness behind it and he and Frisk shared another brief look before he spoke again.

"NYEH HEH, YEAH… HE ONCE GAVE ME AN ENTIRE VASE OF FLOWERS AFTER I WENT OVER THERE FOR TEA, TO HELP MOTIVATE ME IN THE TACKLING OF MY NEW DUTIES AT THE SCHOOL. QUITE UH... THOUGHTFUL."

Another awkward silence followed his words, and Toriel tried to look inconspicuous as she glanced around and listened for the one monster who wasn't present. The one she was secretly burning up with eagerness to see. It brought back a stronger smile to her face despite herself. Papyrus caught her little gesture and only seemed more confused by it.

"YOU SEEM AWFULLY… HAPPY, FOR SOMEONE WHO GOT YELLED AT IN PUBLIC. AND THEN WENT TO TALK WITH THEIR ESTRANGED EX-HUSBAND." He noted, cautiously.

The observation made Toriel snap back to the present and she offered a more sheepish grin. Oh goodness, he was right. She was acting ridiculously odd given what had transpired earlier. Her mind grasped through a pile of reasonable excuses, but she inevitably had to speak before getting much time to think it through.

"D-do I? Well… I guess I am just glad it... went well." She managed, trying to feign her more usual, weary type of smile. "Things worked out as best as they could for now. And I am sure Undyne will apologize once she talks to Asgore. No need to dwell on it, right?"

They seemed moderately placated by that, though still fairly skeptical. The reappearance of the dog happily leaping onto the couch kept any more awkward silences from forming though, to her immense relief. Frisk giggled and pet the dog cheerfully while Papyrus just shot the animal a frustrated kind of glare. The dog showed no sign of interpreting the meaning of said glare, promptly jumping up to give the skeleton a playful lick on the face. Toriel felt a little better about letting a giggle escape her at the sight, especially when Papyrus recoiled so much he nearly fell over the back of the couch.

Of course, laughing only made her think of Sans again, and she couldn't help but voice the question burning on her tongue.

"Did… Did Sans come back with you from Grillby's?" She asked, hoping she came off as casual.

Papyrus grumbled and wiped his face clear of canine saliva with his scarf before nodding, and a more worried expression formed on his face again.

"YES BUT… I THINK HE'S SICK AGAIN TORIEL!" He exclaimed, with his usual dramatics. "WHEN HE CAME BACK TO GRILLBY'S FROM ACCOMPANYING YOU TO ASGORE'S PLACE, HIS SKULL WAS ALL FLUSHED AND SWEATY. AND HE KEPT STUMBLING OVER HIS WORDS AND SPACING OUT WITH THIS WEIRD SMILE ON HIS FACE! HE KEPT TRYING TO BRUSH IT OFF BUT HE WAS ACTING LIKE HE WAS HARDLY AWARE WE WERE EVEN THERE! NOW HE'S HOLED HIMSELF UP IN HIS ROOM AGAIN, GIVING ME THAT SAME "I'M FINE" EXCUSE AS ALWAYS. EITHER HIS ILLNESS HAS RETURNED OR HE SNUCK EVEN MORE ALCOHOL WHEN I WASN'T LOOKING!"

He ended his short tirade with a huff and crossed his arms, making it seem like he was suspecting the latter more. Toriel struggled not to laugh, knowing all too well why Sans had been acting so strange. It brought another warm sort of fluttering to her soul again as well, happy to hear his joyful state had endured on even once they'd parted ways. She couldn't show all that on her face though, not wanting the younger skeleton or her child to know the truth of the situation just yet. But she also couldn't let Papyrus worry  _too_  much.

"I see…" She replied eventually in a more neutral tone. "Well try not to worry too much Papyrus. I am sure it is not... as bad as you think. I will try to talk to him and see if he is okay. After I put Frisk to bed."

He heaved a sigh, giving Frisk's head an anticipatory pat of farewell.

THANK YOU TORIEL. I HOPE… THAT  _YOU_  CAN GET THROUGH TO HIM AT LEAST…" He grumbled, unable to keep some personal pain from seeping into his tone.

Toriel's soul gave a small pang for him, seeing a glimpse of how his brother's refusal to be honest with him was truly hurting the younger skeleton. There was little she could do to assuage that pain, all that power was in Sans' hands and could only be solved when he felt ready to tell Papyrus the truth as he had with her. Or to be more specific… tell him the truth  _again_. She didn't allow herself to become too wrapped up in the emotions that came with that thought, still far too giddy deep down, but she did settle on something she could do to hopefully at least cheer the younger skeleton up.

"I will do my best, my friend. I promise you that." She said, scarlet eyes softening.

Then she rounded the table to stand beside him, setting the other flower pot down for the moment before offering out her arms to him.

"Come now, you did say you would give me a set of Papyrus hugs every day, did you not? I think we could both certainly use it after all that." She said, smiling warmly.

Papyrus blinked up at her for a moment, looking surprised. From his lap, Frisk reached up with a smile and gave the skeleton's scarf a tug of agreement.

"Frisk would like one too." Toriel said with a bit of a chuckle.

A happy bark from the couch's other occupant also voiced its assent.

"And the dog."

Papyrus' sockets narrowed a bit at the mention of that last one, but then they were quick to sparkle again. He stood with a dramatic pose, sweeping the canine and Frisk up with his arm in the same motion.

"OF COURSE! I WOULD NEVER DENY SUPPLYING MY WONDERFUL HUGS TO MY DEAR FAMILY!" He declared with a wide grin, stepping over and wrapping Toriel in a tight embrace, one she promptly returned.

All four of them ended up in that hug, including the dog, who wiggled excitedly from the attention and gave Papyrus' cheek another lick.

"I WASN'T REFERRING TO YOU, YOU MEDDLESOME CANINE!" He declared in response, not pulling away at all though.

All of them shared a laugh as the dog simply barked again, tail wagging wildly. Despite Papyrus' claims, perhaps if the animal continued to hang around like this, he may very well be considered part of the family in time. All of them maintained the hug for a few more seconds, taking comfort in a shared familial warmth between their souls before Toriel shifted Frisk into her arms and stepped back, still with that strong, perhaps too bright smile. Papyrus followed suit, looking far more at ease than he had before. The expression faltered when he realized he had somehow ended up holding the dog like Toriel was holding Frisk. They all laughed yet again as the dog playfully bit onto his scarf and the skeleton tried in vain to tug him off.

Eventually he gave up with a frustrated sigh, but still with far more warmth in his sockets than before. The dog simply hung there, still contently wagging his tail.

"THANK YOU AGAIN TORIEL… I… I NEEDED THAT." He admitted, expression softening up again before he willed up a more determined expression. "I WILL SEE TO IT THAT UNDYNE APOLOGIZES TO YOU FOR HER RUDE BEHAVIOR. AS HER VERY COOL BEST FRIEND IT IS MY MORAL OBLIGATION TO SEE THAT SHE TAKES THE NECESSARY STEPS TO MAKE UP FOR HER WRONGDOINGS. I HAVE ALREADY LEFT HER A STRONGLY WORDED, BUT SENSIBLE VOICEMAIL FOR WHEN SHE WAKES UP TOMORROW."

Toriel grimaced a bit at that, remembering just how drunk and unstable the fish monster had been at the bar. Though she was getting a bit antsy, she couldn't help but ask about her. It only seemed right.

"About that… Is Undyne alright?" She asked, adjusting her grip on Frisk as they sleepily nuzzled into the crook of her neck. "Were you all able to get her home okay?"

Papyrus nodded, mirroring her grimace momentarily.

"YES… AFTER YOU LEFT... SHE WAS RATHER QUIET FOR THE REST OF THE TIME. WE DIDN'T STAY TOO LONG AFTERWARDS, MAYBE ONLY AN HOUR OR SO. ONCE SHE TRIED TO CONVINCE US TO LET HER HAVE MORE DRINKS AND WITH SANS ACTING ALL WEIRD AS WELL, I DECIDED THE NIGHT WAS DONE. I DROVE HER AND ALPHYS HOME, BUT ODDLY, ALPHYS TOOK HER THROUGH THE SIDE DOOR, ALL SNEAKY LIKE. WELL AS SNEAKY AS TWO DRUNK MONSTERS CAN BE… I GUESS THEY DIDN'T WANT TO INTERRUPT THE CONVERSATION BETWEEN YOU AND ASGORE."

That made Toriel's soul clench up a bit, unprepared for such a revelation. Stars, they had been there during all that? Fears as to what the couple could have overheard welled up in her soul for a moment, and she couldn't suppress a small shudder. The idea of Undyne especially hearing those incredibly personal, painful things she and her ex-husband had shared did not sit well at all. Despite the nagging anxiety, Toriel willed those thoughts away again, determined not to let even that put a damper on her good mood. She could worry over that another time, once the conversation she so dearly wanted to get to was behind them.

"That is... good to hear." Toriel replied, managing to maintain her smile and purposely avoiding that last bit. "I do hope the poor thing is not too hungover tomorrow. "

Papyrus waved a hand in a dismissive manner, finally able to pry the dog off of him with his other hand.

"DON'T WORRY TORIEL. UNDYNE HAS BEEN THROUGH FAR WORSE. I HAVE BEEN AN UNFORTUNATE WITNESS TO SUCH THINGS." He said, an uncomfortable expression briefly crossing his features. "THE ONLY THING THAT SHOULD BE BRINGING HER ANY UNPLEASANT FEELINGS COME MORNING SHOULD BE HER GUILT FOR HOW SHE TREATED YOU."

Toriel didn't know how exactly to feel about that, nor what to say in response, so she only offered a small nod of acknowledgement. The skeleton set down the dog and turned his attention to Frisk then, smiling warmly.

"GOODNIGHT FRISK, SLEEP WELL. I KNOW SANS SAID GOODNIGHT TO YOU EARLIER TOO, BUT I WILL SAY IT AGAIN IN HIS PLACE, SINCE HE'S UH… NOT HIMSELF AT THE MOMENT." He said, giving Frisk's hair a ruffle.

The child giggled lightly, signing back their own little goodnight to the skeleton before looking back up at Toriel expectantly. She gave them a nuzzle which prompted more wonderful giggles to leave them, and then the fur on her muzzle caused them to sneeze. It was a little sneeze, like a kitten, positively precious. In moments like this, it was so easy to forget what a troubled, multifaceted figure her dear child truly was.

She pushed away that bothersome thought as she had the others, bidding Papyrus goodnight as well before turning to carry Frisk to their room. She would not let any such thought poison her happiness, not tonight. At least for tonight. Surely the universe could let her have that much. It was with that resolve that she went about getting Frisk and Flowey ready for bed. Oddly, the flower monster cooperated without much of fight this time, giving Toriel a lot of long, heavy looks but not voicing much dissent. Part of her knew it must be because Papyrus had told him of what she had done. After all, Flowey did make it clear that he had a strange amount of interest in the idea of her and Asgore reconciling.

For all that interest though, he stayed mostly quiet as she tucked Frisk under the covers and gave them their kiss goodnight. The little human was tired enough that they slipped into sleep before she had even left the room, curled up tight beneath their heart patterned blanket. When she paused by Flowey's pot and lightly patted his head as his goodnight gesture, he met her eyes and finally spoke.

"You actually did it." He said quietly, just over the sound of Frisk's quiet snoring. "I never thought I would see the day. This is... truly a first for you Toriel. I don't say that often."

She blinked down at him, casting a nervous glance at Frisk by instinct to see if they'd heard. Her child was still fast asleep though, and she faced Flowey again, unsure how to feel about his words. When no reply came to her, Flowey went on, actually seeming to lean into her touch a bit. Though maybe that was just her imagination.

"I didn't think you had it in you." He admitted, voice far softer than usual. "Do you… think it will last?"

The question came with a rush of conflicting thoughts and emotions, and it took her some time to formulate a reply. This time he waited patiently though, looking up at her with uncharacteristically weary eyes.

"I believe it will." She said at last, a small smile returning to her face. "Asgore and I will never have what we did before… but I think we can be friends again now. If we take things slow and give it time. I do not think either of us wants to suffer because of our past anymore, at least over things like this that can be addressed. We have agreed to move on, as much as we can manage. "

Something of a sparkle shone in Flowey's eyes, but just a bit, and it faded so fast that she wondered yet again if she had only been seeing things. He seemed… contented though. Which was an emotion she had never seen from him before. After a few moments he nodded, then fidgeted as he seemed to be trying to work up the nerve to say something else. Something of a grumble escaped him, only a few words being decipherable.

"C-could you…" He said, then trailed off, sinking lower into his pot with more low grumbles.

Toriel was surprised to see he almost looked… embarrassed? Nervous? As he avoided her gaze and twitched his leaves with indecision.

"What is it?" She asked gently, leaning down closer to his level.

There was a moment where she though he'd drop the subject, but then he let out a long frustrated sigh and met her eyes again, just barely peeking over the rim of his pot with how far he'd sunk into it.

"Ugh… Just… Could you also… call me what you call Frisk? Y'know… like…"

He couldn't seem to finish, likely finding the request far too embarrassing. His meaning was not lost on her though. She knew what he was asking, and her soul churned with some unease as she considered her answer. But then she cast another long look at Frisk, and reminded herself of the fact that she still deeply loved them, even with all the terrible things they'd done. Thoughts of taking steps to make peace with Asgore's actions came too, along with Chara and their struggles, and even the other fallen children.

Asriel entered her thoughts as well, but the exact reason escaped her, even as it brought another dull ache to her soul. The fact was, Flowey was a child who needed guidance and love perhaps more than any other, and she was never one to turn away from any child in need, no matter their past sins. So long as there was some small desire in him to change, to be better, there was hope she could help him. A gentle smile crossed her face again and she leaned down to place a little kiss on the flower monster's forehead, just as she had with Frisk.

"Very well... my child." She said, the words heavy, but warm.

He let out a sound somewhere between a squeak and an irritated grumble, petals closing inwards as if by instinct as a small blush formed on his face. She found the gesture almost cute, even with the rather fake looking glare he was shooting her. But there was a hint of gratitude to his eyes, even though he certainly wouldn't put it into words.

"J-just keep the mushy stuff to a minimum okay?" He grumbled yet again, huffing in a manner that blew a few of the petals out of his face. "Geez, you really haven't changed much at all…"

The comment struck her as odd, but she reasoned he must just be referring to some other timeline. She was growing used to such things, in a way she never thought she could. And in any case, it could not penetrate her enduring bliss, only strengthened by this. Today had been hard, but the good that was coming from it was proving to be far more impactful than any of the bad, in so many ways. She and Flowey shared another meaningful look, before she turned towards the door and spoke to him over her shoulder.

"Goodnight, my child."

There was a pause, and she froze in place slightly as she turned away to switch off the light, when Flowey spoke his reply.

"Goodnight… Mom."

There was a touch of sadness to his voice, sadness, guilt, but just enough of a hint of returned warmth to make it feel sincere. But beyond all that, there was something strange in the flower monster's voice. No, it wasn't just that, It didn't… sound like his usual voice. It sounded like…  _like_ …

Her soul skipped a beat, and that old sorrow blossomed within her again, harsh and abrupt. She turned back to look at Flowey with wide eyes, but he was already curled up in his pot, facing away from her. She kept staring for a few moments, gripping at the spot on her chest above her soul. But eventually the truly ridiculous thought that had entered her mind was pushed aside by logic and reasoning.

" _You are imagining things again you old goat_." Her mind chided her, not quite as harshly as usual though. " _You just settled all this today. Asriel is long dead. Likely finally at peace. Just like the others. It is not fair to Flowey to compare him to what you lost._ "

It was right of course, and she shook herself to clear her head again. It was a minor hiccup she supposed, but that was likely to be expected. Healing was never a straight shot after all, even with all the steps she was taking. With all that in mind though, she still cast one long last look at the flower monster before switching off the light and closing the door behind her.

She took a moment when she went back into the living room to catch her breath. Luckily it was empty by now, Papyrus and the dog seemingly having headed to bed themselves, so she had some time alone to take in what had just happened. The fact that she had just gained another child,  _Flowey_  of all monsters, by his own request, it was nearly enough to make her head spin. By the stars, he had called her  _mom_ …

As with many things today, she chose to hang onto the warmth that instilled in her soul, rather than any of the baggage that came with it. That warmth mixed in with the other rapturous feelings stirring inside her until her earlier giddiness had been restored in full. With a wide smile and bright eyes, she leaned down and picked up the forget-me-nots from the coffee table. It was time at last, to face her dear skeleton once more.

Though Papyrus had claimed Sans had retreated to his room, she had serious doubts that she would actually find him there. Acting on that hunch, and with a bit of a spring in her step, she headed to her own room instead. Upon reaching the door, she couldn't help but press an ear to it and listen. Sure enough, after a few moments, she heard someone moving around inside, pacing perhaps. Grinning at the fact she been right in her assumptions, she took a deep breath before tapping out two gentle knocks on the door.

The pacing inside stopped and there was silence for a moment. She unconsciously held her breath, waiting. Then her soul fluttered within her as his reply came, close enough that she knew that he was just beyond the door. How silly, interesting it was, that  _she_  was the one knocking on the door this time.

"who's there?" He asked, voice light, and just a touch shaky.

"Canoe." She shot back, not missing a beat.

"c-canoe… who?" He asked, and she could practically hear the nervous little smile behind it.

"Canoe let me in? It is rather lonely out here."

The expected bit of wheezy laughter came from the other side, breathless chuckles that left him unable to heed her request for a moment. It was so good to hear such happiness in his tone still, his laughter stirring her soul all the more. He recovered after a few moments and then the door was finally pulled open.

Sans stood there in the doorway, looking like he didn't know what emotion to project on his face. Thankfully all the options he seemed to be sorting through were some flavor of positive, with the expected nervousness mixed in. His cheekbones flushed a bit immediately upon looking at her, and his eyelights repeatedly darted away in a somewhat shy manner. That wobbly little smile of his remained though, ever warm throughout it all.

"h-hey tori…" He said, fiddling with one of his hoodie's drawstrings in an nervous little motion. "g-good to see you back… and uh… glad to hear it went well with fluffybuns and all, heh."

She smiled down at him, hardly even surprised to learn that he'd been listening in. He stepped aside to let her into the room and she obliged, closing the door behind her before replying.

"So am I…" She said, red eyes sparkling a bit as she turned back to him. "And I fear that I may not have had the strength to get through it as I did, if not for you. If not for… what happened before."

The color on his face increased considerably at that, and sweat beaded down his skull. All he could seem to offer at that moment was another nervous chuckle, and Toriel promptly knelt down to his level to hopefully ease those nerves a bit. It did at least seem to give him the will to meet her eyes again.

"y-yah… about  _that_ …" He replied, through something of a chuckle. "w-we should probably uh…"

He seemed lost for words for a bit, eyelights bright and shimmering with a million different things he clearly wanted to put into words, but simply couldn't at the moment. Toriel decided to show him some mercy and finish the sentence for him, handing him the pot of flowers as she did so.

"We have much to talk about, do we not?" She asked, feeling a blush of her own lightly warming her face.

He looked down at the flowers before taking them with somewhat shaky hands. The intentions behind them were clear and somehow made the poor dear blush all the more. He quickly attempted to compose himself though, clearing his metaphorical throat and holding the pot to his chest.

"yup, we uh... sure do, heh." He managed after a moment, before his eyelights were drawn back to the flowers. "and g-geez tori... flowers? you didn't h-have t-... that's so…"

Toriel giggled into a paw, beginning to walk to the bed and motioning for him to follow.

"Cliche?" She asked, grinning in a playful manner.

"well uh yah sure, b-but they're still really nice and all, heh" He said, following her and climbing up onto the bed. "you really uh...  _rose_  to the occasion, huh? are they uh… what're they called… forget-me-nots?"

Toriel nodded, giggling again at his pun and resting her back against the pillows. This time she did not have to invite him in. He was happy to take his place at her side, settling in next to her as he had so many times before. He was notably more nervous about it this time though, the new overlaying connotation of the action nearly palpable in the air. Toriel willed herself to keep calm during the impending conversation, drawing in a deep, steadying breath. One of them certainly had to stay level headed throughout this, and judging from his behavior, Sans was not going to be accomplishing that any time soon. When the warm buzzing of her soul had been tamed a bit, she shifted to face him on the bed, prompting him to do the same.

"I cannot take full credit for the flowers." She admitted with a somewhat sheepish grin, rubbing one of her long ears between her fingers. "Asgore actually gave them to me to give to you. I believe it was his way of showing his... approval."

Sans blinked, eyelights shrinking a bit in shock, the same sort of shock that had surely appeared on her own face earlier.

"woah... really?" He asked, glancing down at the flowers again. "he's… he's okay with the idea of…?"

He couldn't quite finish that statement, blush flaring up on his cheekbones again. He tapped his phalanges anxiously on the edge of the pot, another nervous chuckle escaping him. Toriel couldn't help but giggle in response, though she did her best not to let it come off as too teasing.

"I was just as surprised as you about that." She said after a moment, crossing her paws in her lap. "But that is what he told me. And apparently he uh…"

She swallowed, and her own cheeks burned a bit hotter beneath her fur.

"He saw… what we did… through the window…"

At that, Sans' eyelights vanished completely, and he shrank down a bit behind the flowers as he somehow turned even more blue in the face. Almost enough to match the hues of the forget-me-nots.

"oh...  _oh geez_ …" He wheezed, though it was punctuated by a bit of a bewildered little chuckle too.

He met her gaze again, eyelights slowly reappearing. Then something passed between them. What is was, Toriel couldn't be sure, but it caused them both to burst out laughing. The whole situation was honestly so ridiculous that it felt like the only thing they could do. Toriel had to struggle not to let it let herself get too loud, covering her mouth with a paw. But oh it was just too funny. Sans flopped against the pillow and pressed his face into the flowers as he shook with breathless chuckles. With their descent into joviality, much of the tension in the air dissipated and they found it far easier to relax once they both had regained their composure.

Toriel wiped her eyes of any tears of mirth, keeping a small smile on her face when she finally addressed him again.

"Sans, before I say anything else… I do want to apologize for just how… impulsive I was about all this." She said, allowing some weight to re-enter her voice. "I realize in hindsight that what I did could have gone very wrong quite easily."

Sans shot her a grin in response, before levitating the flowers over to the side table with his magic. Once they were set down, he faced her again and waved a hand in a dismissive manner.

"its fine… m-more than fine really, heh." He assured her, another notable blush forming on his face. "i mean… i kinda… prompted you to d-do it after all, with what i said y'know? and we were both pretty tipsy at the time. no worries t..."

She considered his response, unable to keep her smile from strengthening somewhat at his clear approval. Still, the driving thoughts behind why she'd made the statement in the first place remained and she pressed on with it.

"Yes, I suppose." She conceded with another light giggle. "But I do want you to know that going forward, I do not want to do anything like that again without knowing you are okay with it. That sort of thing is important to me. Do you understand?"

The question was met with a nod, and some deeper understanding of her words showed in his eyelights. Her choice of words in particular had not been lost on him, and he fiddled again with one of his hoodie drawstrings in a nervous little motion.

"yah, i getcha t." He said, before his grin became a little more unsteady. "but uh… what exactly does… "going forward" mean for… us?"

The question inevitably cause her soul's magic to swell a bit, and her mind to begin whirling. This was it, there was no more playfully dancing around the issue. It was time to address it head on and find the true answer to his question. But as she prepared her response, one she'd been rehearsing in her head for quite some time, she could tell Sans really wanted to speak, though he was struggling to find the words. So she stayed quiet for the moment and gave him an encouraging look, waiting expectantly. His skull became deeply flushed again and it took a few moments more for him to gain the will to speak.

"i-i guess its pretty damn obvious now huh?" He asked, a lilt of laughter still to his voice.

He took a deep breath before continuing, letting it slowly whistle out through his teeth. Most of the humor faded with it, leaving his eyelights still ever bright, but more heavy with a touch of seriousness.

"ah geez…okay… look…" He began, curling his hands into fists in his lap. " i… i r-really like you tori. like a lot... i have for… a good while now. hell maybe even before i even knew who you really were, when we were just chatting through the door every day. i tried to d-deny it or tell myself i couldn't let myself get wrapped up in those sorts of feelings but… with how things have been going recently, with how you've been so… willing to help me out with all this shit i'm dealing with. With how often we're… y'know… together… i-its.. its gotten to the point where i can't get myself to ignore it. n-not like i used to..."

The admittance was in the air now, lingering there like the warmth from a shaft of summer sunlight. Though Toriel had been aware of his feelings to some degree for a while, to hear it coming from him directly, at long last, was enough to make her soul soar within her. Her eyes shone as she listened on, unable to keep the smile off her face. In front of her, Sans kept his eyelights directed down towards the bed, not quite brave enough to meet her eyes during all this.

"i-i admitted it to pap a while back. he was pretty damn excited to hear it, o-obviously, heh. you just... you're just so great tori. you're amazing, in so many ways. the fact you bother putting up with someone l-like me at all is so… i can't believe it sometimes. you've kept me from falling to pieces, literally even, heh. you listened to my inane rambling and believed everything i told you, you've helped me feel so much better… about everything. and you're just… gosh… so funny and nice and smart and… and pr-pretty…"

That last word came out as something of a croak, and with it, some of his confidence seemed to dwindle a bit. Sweat dripped down his skull and he started talking faster, as though afraid he'd be unable to continue if he stopped for a breath.

"geez… l-look, its totally okay if you d-don't like, feel the same about me, and only d-did  _that_ , and all this to like… spare my feelings or whatever. i just had to tell you, because we've b-been making a point to be honest with each other and i don't want to lie to you about stuff anymore and-"

Without saying a word, Toriel reached over and laid a paw on his arm, cutting his ranting off. He stiffened and then looked up at her nervously, but still with a shaky grin on his face.

"Sans." She spoke his name, voice carrying a soothing, reassuring warmth. "I  _do_  feel the same, dear."

To finally be able to say those words brought a rush of elation within her that made her feel light as air, like a massive weight had finally been lifted off of her. It was a relief she could tell he shared, enough that she could feel the joyful waves of magic meeting her own through her paw. But within the little lights of his eyes there was also a glint of disbelief, a feeling shown through his expression as well. Slowly though, that shock melted away, leaving his eyelights shimmering merrily like they had after she'd kissed him.

"r-really…?" He stammered out, grin widening. "but..."

Once again, she silently cut him off, moving her paw to lightly cover his mouth as she had before. It was a playful gesture, and one that he was happy to play along with, eyelights continuing to sparkle as the weight of her words sank in further.

"It is my turn to speak now, alright?" She said, in a tone that was sweet as butterscotch cinnamon pie, but still with just the right touch of firmness.

Sans nodded, and she pulled her paw away before moving to gently take both his small hands into her own. There was no hesitation in the gesture now, and he met her eyes with far more confidence, squeezing her paws back with his thin phalanges. Toriel then had to gather herself, formulate the words she'd been holding inside and running over in her mind a million times into something impactful and clear. The shared warmth between their souls made finding the strength easy, but admittedly had her giddy enough that focusing her thoughts was a bit difficult. But regardless, it did not take long for the words to begin flowing, like a river breaking over the edge of a waterfall.

"I too have been harboring feelings for you for quite some time Sans." She said at last, gripping his hands a little tighter. "And like you, I spent a lot of time denying it to myself, telling myself that I was not capable of feeling such a thing again, after what happened with Asgore. I felt as though I did not even deserve it. The scars of my last relationship left me hesitant and perhaps even fearful of entertaining the possibility of feeling that way for another monster again."

Toriel eased her eyes shut, losing herself briefly in memories of her dear skeleton, and letting the emotions that came with them carry in her voice.

"But… as time went on, I realized just how important you had become to me. I have told you before of how you were my light during the darkest times of my life. That small spark of happiness offered to me in the face of the century's long isolation that I endured. You restored my hope, my joy, even just by your willingness to spend time with me. Those times were marked by silliness, yes, but sometimes the silly things can mean the most in the end. They certainly did to me."

She re-opened her eyes, and the scarlet red shone with a deep fondness she could now allow to show freely without fear. He blinked up at her, simply listening and clearly taking in every word.

"And ever since we were able to bond in person here on the surface, craft this new life with everyone… I could feel myself being drawn in deeper by those feelings, especially now that there was no door to divide us. You and I spent so much time together, and only grew closer over this past year. Then with what has been happening recently, with you finding it yourself to open up to me about all this… I… felt as though I truly knew you at long last, the darkest, and lightest parts of your soul. And that you knew the true me as well, perhaps better than anyone else."

She could feel his soul warm further at that, pulsing in a show of intimacy that stirred her own soul even further, making it so it felt as though her magic buzzed inside her. It was all rising to a crescendo inside her, pushing the words she had so desired to speak forth further and further to the forefront of her mind. In all reality, she could continue to sing his praises and talk of the wonderful moments they'd shared for days on end. All of that could wait, for right now, she had to ensure he knew the full depths of her devotion. She had to say the words.

"That was… well… kind of the tipping point for me I suppose." She went on, eagerness seeping into her voice ever so slightly. "I held off as long as I could manage to avoid adding needlessly to all your stresses… But I suppose now there is no point to hiding it any longer."

There was a beat, where their souls sang and their magic continued to reach out to the other. Then her ancient eyes met the those brilliant little lights, so very much like the stars above. Then the words came, and she spoke them as much with her gaze and her soul as she did her voice.

"The truth is, Sans…  _I love you_."

The words hung in the air, making it suddenly feel as though the rest of the world had fallen away, and that she and Sans were alone in the universe. As though all that existed were their souls blazing forth, and the precious bond forged between them. Sans' eyelights shrank a bit in response to her words, shock once again gripping him. But even quicker than before, they softened back to normal, then eased further to give way to an expression that was warmer, happier and more carefree than she'd ever seen cross his features.

It was mirrored just as strongly in his soul, brimming with newfound strength nearly enough to make its glow visible through his clothing. He gave one, rapturous little chuckle, cheekbones flushing a more controlled, soft cyan, and a faint flicker of tears shimmering at the edges of his sockets. Then he returned her words.

"i… i love you too tori."

A few moments passed where they simply stared into each other's eyes, feeling perhaps a million things at once. Then they communicated something in that gaze, and this time it was expected and accepted by them both. They moved in tandem close enough for her to press another kiss against his teeth, and they freed their hands to hold the other close all the while. This one lasted longer than the other, and was more tender and natural for it. All the while their souls joined in that rapt sort of dance again, the magic swirling and joining in a joyous sort of familiarity. Though they spent quite some time that way, it somehow still felt too soon when she inevitably had to pull away.

When they met each other's gaze again, still close enough that their foreheads nearly touched, she found those same heart shaped eyelights looking back at her, just as uniquely wonderful a sight as before. When he'd recovered from the happy sort of haze the kiss had left him in, he blinked a few times and they returned to normal, still shining just as brightly. The act summoned the lightest of giggles from her, and he chuckled right back as they joined their hands again, sounding just as breathless as she was.

"s-so… uh…" He managed to speak again at last, voice still a bit unsteady from it all. "are we like… d-dating now?"

She laughed once more, more heartily this time. The question was so sincere yet so very blunt that it was honestly silly. But it was like he had said to her the night they'd destroyed his old lab, it was only silly in all the right ways. She moved to press her forehead fully to his and gave his small hands a gentle squeeze.

"If that is alright with you, my dear." She replied, with a purposefully sweet tone. "If you will have me."

Her words had the effect she was expecting, as the skeleton's face flushed a bright cyan again at their open affection and his breath caught audibly, rendering him speechless once more. Toriel offered a smile that was a touch apologetic.

"Sorry, was that too dramatic?" She asked, eyes still carrying a faint sparkle of mischief beneath the gentleness.

It seemed he couldn't help but chuckle at his own expense, grin returning in full as he recovered from his momentary flustered reaction.

"a-all this was dramatic, heh." He replied once he could get the words out. "but y-yes, yah it's alright with me, m-more than alright. i'd… i'd like that. a lot."

She beamed, fangs flashing as she did so. Then she couldn't help but plant another little kiss on his forehead, one he took this time with equal warmth but far less surprise.

"Very well then. I must say it brings me great joy as well, to be able to call you mine." She murmured, letting her cheek rest atop his skull.

"s-same. heh." He quickly stammered out in reply, likely by instinct.

He shifted over a little closer then and she happily wrapped him up in her arms, feeling the elated pulses from his soul match those of her own. They settled more comfortably against the pillows then, holding one another close. For a while after, they simply relished in that, allowing this new, wonderful step they'd taken to settle on their souls. Toriel felt as though it was perhaps the happiest she'd felt in long, long time, and she hung on to that feeling with all she had, letting its warmth renew her soul. From how difficult it was to distinguish between the emotions flowing from their souls, it was fair to say Sans was feeling quite similarly at the moment.

Beyond all that warmth though, some more serious thoughts did begin to make their way back into her mind, causing her to tighten her grip on him just a bit. For all the joy she felt, she knew also that now that they had crossed this line, it meant that she had far more of a responsibility to be there for him, to help carry his burdens. She was no longer just his concerned friend, doing all she could to help him. She was fully  _devoted_  to him now, and him to her. Their souls were bound by that devotion, marking them as partners in more ways than one. Perhaps that was indeed an old fashioned way of viewing it, but regardless, It was something she hadn't and wouldn't ever take lightly.

That cruel voice attempted to speak up again then, whispering mockery in her ears about how she would fail him as she had failed so many others in her life. But she willed it away in a moment, not even entertaining the possibility of giving it an audience. She let her thoughts drift back into that warm giddiness again, pushing back the heavier aspects of what had just occurred to be reflected upon another time. Right now, she just wanted to enjoy this, enjoy the company of her dear skeleton, who was truly  _hers_ , at last.

"heh, welp, this is a… a first." The skeleton in question said after bit, shifting back just enough to meet her eyes. i've never uh… d-dated anyone before. given my situation it was never something i really gave any real thought towards…"

His tone was still light and rather giddy, but there was the faintest bit of disquiet in his voice as well, just enough to be noticeable. Toriel gave a sympathetic smile and moved her paw to gently cup the side of his face.

"It is okay to be nervous Sans." She assured him, smiling further as he laid his small hand over her own. "This is my first time dating as well, so I would be lying to say I am not also feeling my share of nerves."

Surprise replaced the nervousness on his face for the moment, then he quirked a brow ridge in confusion.

"what? but... but you…"

When he didn't finish and simply looked at her expectantly, she was happy to clarify for him, smile becoming a bit sheepish.

"Me and Asgore were an  _arranged_  marriage." She explained. " I suppose i never mentioned that before… It is the… tradition for royalty. We knew since we were very young that we would be married one day, and while there was a bit of a courtship, it was more ceremonial than anything else. We ended up being happy together, but the fact remains that it was not a relationship I chose to pursue for myself. Princesses get very little say in those sort of matters, that certainly did not stop me from complaining though."

Sans seemed to consider all that for a moment, humming thoughtfully before offering a more unsteady smile.

"guess your parents wouldn't be too thrilled bout you being with me, huh?" He asked, with something of a nervous chuckle.

Toriel shot him another reassuring smile, hoping the idea wouldn't cause him too much worry. Still, she did decide to answer honestly, feeling a momentary dull ache in her soul as she pictured just what her parent's reactions would be.

"My father likely would have found it in himself to allow it, even if it meant ending the boss monster bloodline and facing all kinds of outrage from the masses. My mother would have certainly been… displeased though. To put it mildly."

That last part was spoken with a bit of pain to her voice, but she realized that quickly and moved on, before either of them could linger on that idea too much.

"There are definitely perks to having left my royal status, I will not lie. This... being one of them." She said, with her warm tone restored.

He blinked, perhaps a hint of concern shimmering in his eyelights before he nodded and his soft smile was restored. Toriel was relieved, but decided to be safe and change the subject, voicing a question that surely had to be on both their minds.

"I guess the question now is… How soon do you want to tell the others? I feel we must tell Papyrus soon at least, poor dear thinks you have fallen ill again with the way you have been acting."

Sans' smile faltered a bit at that, carrying nervousness along with a small flash of guilt at the mention of Papyrus. It wasn't hard for her to understand why he'd be hesitant to tell the others though. The idea of how their extended family would react to the news was both heartwarming and somewhat anxiety inducing to think about. Reactions would surely be mixed. Yes, many of them would be ecstatic or at least be happy for them. But others like Flowey and Undyne, and maybe even Alphys might not be too thrilled at the idea, even if they too likely expected it on some level. And that was all without mentioning how the general public would take it… especially now with their image of her further soured by today's incident.

Sans seemed far less worried than her though, more casual smile returning quickly. He simply gave a little shrug of his shoulders before shifting over to press close to her again, resting his skull against her chest.

"we've got enough secrecy crap going on as it is, we don't really need to add this to it." He said, surprisingly confident in his response. "plus, most everyone will be happy as hell about it. specially' pap and the kiddo. we're in for an intense few days, dealing with everyone's reactions, heh."

His casualness about the idea helped ease her fretful thoughts, and she willed herself to listen to him and try to emulate his calm. She nodded, closing her arms around him again and resting her chin on his skull. It surprised her then, when he slipped his arms around her neck and nuzzled closer as well. A rather bold little gesture on his part, but one she no less was happy he felt comfortable enough to do.

"but… let's at least keep it secret for tonight. y'know… e-enjoy this while we can." He said, his muffled voice betraying he was still quite flustered about the whole thing.

A soft giggle shook through her and she gave him a little squeeze before adjusting to accommodate his new position.

"Sounds good to me, my dear." She murmured, allowing her eyes to ease shut in contentment.

They remained shut like that as the two of them slipped into a comfortable silence again. Or rather, a silence in that there was an absence of spoken words. But their souls were engaged in their own sort of conversation, sharing and syncing their magic with each other in a way that was becoming more and more natural, and oh so soothing. It was almost enough to make her slip into sleep, and she was rather surprised he hadn't already.

But as the minutes ticked by, she found the reason amongst all the emotions she could feel in the waves from his soul. It was faint at first, but then grew more noticeable until she felt she had to comment on it. She eased her eyes open again as she did, casting them towards the starry skies out the window.

"You still seem worried about something Sans." She murmured, gently.

Despite her attempts at softening the words, he still stiffened in surprise at the sudden nature of them. When their meaning had sunk in, she felt a chill of fear grip him before he attempted to subdue it again, only partially succeeding. He hesitated, then she felt him shake his head.

"n-nah, its… its stupid, don't worry about it." He said, in the most relaxed, dismissive tone he could manage.

Toriel frowned at that, but recognized there was more to his avoidance than his usual reasons for it. And it was flimsy at best, something he seemed to recognize as regret began creeping through his soul almost immediately after speaking the words.

"If it is troubling you, then it is certainly worth discussing." She reminded him, in a firm but gentle tone. "Please Sans, talk to me."

There was little resistance he could offer in the face of that, and she could detect his concedement settling over him, making him deflate a bit in her arms. He tightened his grip on her as the fear returned to his soul, bringing a small feeling of shame along with it. It took him a moment to answer, but eventually he sighed quietly and spoke in a soft, lightly apologetic tone.

"i just…" He rasped, pausing to seemingly find the right words. "i'm... i'm scared y'know?"

The admittance came easier to him than many of his others had, but it still caused him to stiffen up in her arms as he continued.

"i'm not… i'm not supposed to do things like this… because it could just get… ripped away any moment. and… i really don't know if i have it in me to try to regain anything again if i… have to lose all this. i'm getting so a-attached. to everyone, to everything, and i don't know how i'll ever be able to recover if the kid resets again. i'm diggin' myself a deeper and deeper grave. another reset might just… break me for good y'know?"

Toriel's soul panged for him, his fears making perfect, acutely painful sense. Part of her had known such thoughts were likely to spring up in his mind eventually, but she had hoped they wouldn't beset him so quickly. Without missing a beat, she moved to gently rub his back in a soothing manner. The action did seem to relax him a bit, but also caused frustration to rise up inside him as well, meeting her own magic like a small static shock.

"damn it, sorry, this is supposed to be like... a happy moment or whatever. i d-don't want to spoil things with this crap again." He said, words dripping with self-loathing.

She gave him another little squeeze, shaking her head in the same motion before letting it rest atop his skull again.

"You are not spoiling anything, my dear." She assured him, in that same firm tone. "It is okay be scared, I know this is incredibly difficult for you. Do not be angry with yourself for feeling that way. Just try to remember what Frisk promised you. Keep it in your mind. They are  _not_  going to reset. You are staying right here, we all are, everything is. And I will be happy to remind you of that as often as you need."

The words could only do so much, but they were enough to banish a good deal of the tension he was holding in his small frame. He pressed his face into the fur of her neck, mumbling out a soft "alright… thanks..." as he did so. But she could tell he still wanted to say more, that there were still other hesitations trying to win over the newfound happiness in his soul and quash it back into its usual hopeless apathy. And eventually he had to give voice to those concerns in order to quell that assault.

"its not… just that i'm worried about." He admitted through a sigh, tone not quite as heavy, but no less still pained over what thoughts his mind was wrapped up in.

Before he went on, he gently pulled away, and Toriel let him go, watching as he settled just far enough back from her to meet her eyes again. He wrapped his arms around himself now, digging his phalanges in tight. His eyelights were pale and wavering, but managed to meet her own without flinching. The happiness still lingered in them, but it was being thoroughly choked by his insecurities and that looming fear that may never truly be banished from him completely.

"tori… be honest... do you really think i'm… c-cut out for this?" He asked, suddenly looking very tired. "i'm not exactly the best at… well, any of this. and you deserve the best after going through so much shit with your last relationship. i don't… i don't know if i deserve to be with someone like you. i'm still such a mess. i might just make everything worse for everyone involved."

It was painful to hear him talk this way, and perhaps more so to hear him say it all in such an increasingly detached manner, as though part of him were giving into his old apathy in order to dull the sudden overload of mixed emotions. Even if she could understand why he'd do such a thing, she wouldn't stand to watch it happen. He didn't deserve to have every happiness offered to him consumed by his fears. She reached out to gently cup the side of his skull in her paw once more, encouraging him to meet her gaze.

"Sans, listen to me, okay?" She implored, but still with a tone that showed her resolve.

His eyelights brightened with faint surprise, likely at her lack of hesitation in the act. But regardless, he gave a little nod and kept his gaze on her. She was surprised how easily the words came then, considering they were not ones she'd really thought over before, like with her confession earlier. Nonetheless, she was glad for it and did her best to ensure they would be enough to banish the worst of his worries.

"Please do not speak of such things as "deserving" someone else, my dear. Do not think less of yourself by trying to compare your worth to mine. I find that idea terribly foolish. My royal status, my history, my species, it does not make me higher than you in any way. You are  _not_  beneath me, in that regard, or any other. At the end of it all, I am a flawed, damaged monster, but one that can heal and have hope for the future, just as you are. I could state countless numbers of my own fears regarding how I could somehow fail you, but I will not pay them any heed, and do you know why?"

Her ruby red eyes shone with determination, as bright as though a fire burned within them.

"Because I believe in this, I believe in you, and I am beginning to learn to believe in myself again. This relationship between us will not fix our deeper problems, I know you will struggle, I know I will struggle. I know we will both make mistakes and that there will be far more difficult times ahead than we wish there to be. But I know that we can continue to help one another heal. Nothing I have learned about you or seen from you changes my feelings at all. I  _chose_  you Sans, and I love you, scars and all."

Her somewhat stern expression slowly shifted in a warm smile then, and her eyes softened considerably. Warmth flooded through her soul anew, and she hoped he could feel it through her touch.

"And based on the fact you have stayed by my side even as you learn the true depths of my faults, I feel it is fair to assume you feel the same, do you not?"

The question was, in part, for both their sakes. But its effect on Sans was far more impactful, especially on top of everything else she'd said. When his eyelights brightened again, reignited by the emotions he'd been fighting against, it brought her own soul a wonderful sense of comfort as well. Slowly, his expression softened, and then a small but far more meaningful and genuine smile spread across his face. His soul began to respond to hers again as well, sending back warmth that steadily grew to match her own.

"yah... you're right." He conceded, ducking his head a bit and threading his phalanges with her fingers. "a-and much more uh… articulate about it than i could be, heh. stars... what would i do without you at this point?"

With that last part both of them were a bit surprised when tears welled up in his sockets again, spilling over before he seemed to even realize it was happening. He stiffened and laid a questioning hand against his cheekbone. It came away wet, and he stared down at the sudden moisture on his phalanges with confusion before wiping at his sockets with his sleeve, letting out a nervous chuckle as he did so.

"geez, sorry, i-i don't know what's wrong with me…" He stammered, voice thick and sounding genuinely confused. "i'm not even really upset or anything…"

Toriel's simply offered a sympathetic smile and used her thumb to gently wipe some of the tears away. She was surprised he did not pull away at all or get more embarrassed about it. He simply kept on talking while seemingly trying to figure out what was triggering the abrupt waterworks.

"eheh... guess my d-dumb soul isn't really used to me being h-happy." He croaked, rubbing the heel of his palm against his sockets. "its trying to sabotage me or something, heh. really though... what the hell?"

Her soul gave a little pang for him, but her smile remained, understanding what was happening here. It was honestly more sad to know that he didn't understand, that the concept was such a foreign one to him.

"It is fine, my dear." She assured him, voice warm. "Do not worry. One does not shed tears purely for negative emotions after all."

He blinked, her words seemingly making the idea finally click in his mind. The action also caused more tears to roll down his cheekbones as well, but he still smiled back at her, eyelights soft.

"heh, g-guess not." He sniffed, running his now damp sleeve over his face again.

Silently, Toriel invited him back in for a hug. He accepted without hesitation, huddling up close and holding on to her tight. She wrapped her arms snugly around her dear skeleton, giving his cheekbone a little nuzzle in the same motion. It only took a few minutes for his soul's instability to even out again, it's joyful warmth having been restored. It was a glorious feeling, and one that was somehow even more wonderful to share with him now than before. Eventually he spoke up from within her embrace, once his sockets were dry again.

"thank you tori." He breathed, nuzzling his face further against her neck and tightening his grip on her by degrees. "y'know i hate promises... but i'll... i'll try harder not to get so wrapped up in this shit. i-it's not fair to you…"

There was a pause, then he finished the statement in a quieter voice.

"or… or to me."

That little addition made her soul swell a bit within her, almost wanting to bring tears to her own eyes. She gave him a little squeeze, something akin to pride adding to the warmth within her.

"I am glad to hear that Sans, and I promise, I will do whatever I can to help you with that." She vowed, before slowly sweeping a paw down his back. "You have truly come such a long way since the start of all this, my dear. And I know you will continue to get better. I hope that someday, you can see yourself closer to the way… that I see you."

The surprised reaction at that from his soul that melted away into gratitude was clear and comforting, almost enough that one could get lost in it and be soothed to sleep just by being near him. But then it shifted a bit, and she felt his more mischievous, jovial side returning to the magic flowing from his soul. It made her perk up by instinct and she peered down at him curiously.

"i hope so too." He replied, in a much stronger voice. "because if i don't, i'll have to apologize again, and that would make it a  _sorry_ sight to see."

The pun, so very out of the blue as it was, hit a bullseye with her. She immediately succumbed to giggles, and had to free a paw to muffle them so they did not further descend into boisterous laughter. A few snorts escaped her against her will, and that had Sans giggling as well, quite pleased at her reaction. The little happy rattle of his bones as he laughed only made the effect intensify.

"Th-that was unfair." She chided him through her tapering giggles, gathering him more properly in her arms and sitting up on the bed.

He grinned up at her, giving his shoulders a playful shrug. Then something seemed to occur to him and his eyelights suddenly took on that wonderful little star shape.

"oh man, does this mean i can finally use all my dumb flirty puns i've been stockpiling over the years?" He said, grin almost maniacal.

She shot him a wide grin of her own in response, fangs flashing.

"Oh yes, please do. I would love to hear them" She said, before quirking an eyebrow playfully with a more mischievous sort of smirk. "But I will warn you, my dear. I too have quite the impressive reserve to pull from,  _and_  experience using them, I do not think you have a chance at matching me."

With a blink, his eyelights returned to normal, but retained their bright, joyful shimmer all the same. He narrowed his sockets at her and grinned even wider.

"we'll see about that, old lady." He declared, sitting up fully. "you're all the inspiration i need, in fact you could say that you make my soul  _bleat_ faster whenever i'm around you."

Damn, it was a good start, and she had to fight not to give into the blush it summoned on her face, or the laughs it brought to her throat. She could hardly stand to lose on the first one after all. She leaned down over him and offered her own confident grin, giving him a playful poke in the ribs.

"When you are by my side Sans, I never feel a- _bone_. If I were to name all the ways you stir my soul, why there would simply be a skele- _ton_ ~"

It was a bit cruel, and maybe something of a cheat to hit him with two at once, but seeing his reaction made it all worth it. Despite the bright color that returned to his face though, he endured her tactful strike, only taking a few moments to fire another pun back at her. One she countered yet again with ease. It went on and on that way, both telling those truly awful flirtatious puns, a genre they'd never really delved into in the past, trying to get the other to crack. It was great fun,  _pun_ -ctuated with much laughter on each side as both slowly began to lose their resolve.

It was a wonder they didn't wake the whole house, or at least that she didn't. Not everyone could be blessed with a naturally soft voice like Sans' after all. In the end she had ended up winning their little game, eventually able to render her dear skeleton a blushing mess again, as well as have him begging for mercy on account of his ribs aching from all the laughter. She told him though that she was sure he would win someday, a sentiment that seemed to mean more to him than she realized it would. After all that, they found it had gotten quite late. So they got ready for bed and settled in for the night, now free to snuggle up together without any reservations about it… not that they'd really let that stop them before… but it was still meaningful this time nonetheless

Equally meaningful was the kiss she pressed between his eye sockets before bidding him goodnight, a gesture that he had then attempted to return, to the best of his ability. Even though it amounted to little more than a bony nuzzle, she still found it did the job just fine, and was just as endearing. They were still somewhat awkward and clumsy about it all, but that would surely change with time, and only seemed to add to the humor in their case. It took only a minute or two after that for Sans to fall asleep, thoroughly enveloped in her arms and skull resting against her chest.

His soul was so calm and peaceful in his sleep too, in a way that made her feel sure he'd rest well tonight, with no night terrors to torment him. She wished she could say the same for her own situation, but it seemed clear by now that her nightly visions were not something that could be avoided, not even with a clear mental state. It was distressing, especially the longer it went on, but the fear felt small and manageable tonight. So long as she was assured she'd wake up by his side, she knew she could face whatever lost memory wished to return to her.

Before she allowed herself to slip into sleep though, something became apparent to her. Something felt... different. And not in the expected ways regarding what had just happened. It was a faint sensation only noticeable now that the wondrous distraction of the night's events was absent. She couldn't explain it, but the feeling seemed to be drawing her eyes to Sans. To his soul. Then something clicked, and it compelled her to perform a CHECK on him. What she saw was enough to make her own soul leap inside her.

*SANS, 1 ATK, 1 DEF, 3/3 HP


	24. Confirmation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (*Slowly reaches one, shaky hand out from under a mountain of essays and coursework and slides this chapter to you all. 
> 
> *Is pulled back into the darkness.)
> 
> Seriously though, College does not want to give me a break lately. Writing this fic always cheers me up though. Hope you enjoy and forgive me for my more erratic upload schedule TvT This chapter was really fun to write, especially now that the Soriel is officially a thing >v< Hope you all enjoy the (mostly) happy fluff of this chapter before we dive into more heavy stuff again soon~ >:3c
> 
> (Warnings for this chapter: Light mentions of death in the beginning, otherwise none.)

Toriel's dream that night existed in stark contrast to the wonderful experiences of earlier. Not because it was as horrific and traumatizing as the other visions she'd endured, but because of how Sans himself was in it, and could not be further from the joy she'd seen from him. Indeed, the Sans she met in this dream was almost a completely different monster entirely.

It had started off as expected, with Toriel finding herself back in the Ruins. That was the problem with many of her memories she supposed, a great deal of them took place in the same place, making the process of experiencing them as tired and repetitive as her original time there. She came to awareness sitting in her old room, on her old bed, and was immediately hit with an intense wave of emotion. It was disorienting to be dropped into, but eventually she was able to understand that her physical self was weeping, the tears silently rolling into the fur on her face. The pain, shame and despairing loneliness gripping her soul was all too familiar and all too terrible to have to endure again, even in this way.

But there was a fresh edge to the pain this time, and that took the Toriel inside off guard. Usually it had been a dull, manageable ache that followed her indefinitely. But this time it was flared up so intensely, that she wondered if this memory took place shortly after she first arrived in the Ruins. That thought was promptly dashed though, when her physical self glanced over at a particularly striking sight. On the wall, a grand set of royal robes was hanging. They were deep purple with white ornate patterns, an intensely detailed, beautiful depiction of the Delta Rune and a darker purple cape to go along with them. They were all haphazardly hung up in a manner that did not suit their importance, as though she had simply slung them up there like any ordinary article of clothing. The Toriel inside recognized these robes as the ones she once wore during her days as Queen, and the sight of them here in the Ruins immediately triggered questions to begin flooding her.

She knew for a fact she had left behind her robes when she left with Chara's body on that truly awful day, instead opting for a simpler dress instead. The fancy clothing had hardly escaped being burned in her fury, just as her crown had been smashed against the floor into several glittery golden pieces in the midst of her fight with Asgore. For her old royal robes to be here in the Ruins… just what sort of timeline was this memory from?

She was jolted from those thoughts as her physical self slowly got up from the bed, moving so sluggishly it was though she weighed a thousand pounds.

" _It is about that time…_ " She heard her own thoughts echo in her head, despairing but with the slightest tinge of hope. " _Will he come today... Even now…_?"

Her gaze was directed towards her small desk as she turned, resting on her diary in particular for a few moments. The reason as to why clicked quickly and the Toriel inside felt a rush of confused emotions, tinged with an odd bit of excitement. She had never seen Sans in one of these memories, the very reason she was reliving them in the first place. To be able to see him in a new context did bring her some fascination, though it was quickly giving way to dread. Her returned memories did not usually show her anything mundane or happy, more inclined to bring to her visions of the painful, impactful moments she'd lost. And based on how tearful and truly miserable this past version of herself was, this one would likely be no different.

She walked slowly through the house towards the stairs and the Toriel inside noticed how dusty everything was, as though she had been absent from it for some time, or had been so very dispirited she hadn't bothered to even try tidying up. That was not like her, even in her lowest times in the Ruins. All her chores upkeeping the place were some of the only things she had had to occupy her endless time alone there. The sight continued to unsettle her even as her dream self plunged into the darkness of the long hallway on the floor below, the hallway that led to the door,  _that_  door.

Her dream self took far longer than usual to get there, only allowing her internal self to grow more and more anxious, half expecting Flowey to appear any moment to attack or torment her. But he didn't, and eventually Toriel reached the door, staring up at it with eyes that grew tearful once more.

" _What am I doing…?_ " She thought miserably, screwing her eyes shut. " _He knows who I am now… He must have seen my disgrace… Surely he hates me just as much as everyone else now… He… He will not come back… I am being foolish..."_

The thoughts met the Toriel observing all this with pain and confusion. Certainly the "he" in question was Sans… but in what other timeline did he learn of her identity? And what was this "disgrace" being mentioned? Then it hit her, and her mind flashed back to that night Sans had summoned out the GBs in her room. He had told her of such a timeline, a timeline where she had returned as Queen… only to be deposed by Undyne and the rest of the unhappy populace. A timeline where Papyrus was killed by Frisk. A timeline where…

Those thoughts, and the continually broken thoughts of her dream self were both halted abruptly when, as if on cue, there came two familiar knocks on the door. Though this time, they were softer than usual, not having the same jovial energy that Sans often displayed when he began the ritual. The dream Toriel lit up a bit with joy, having her previous woeful worries proven wrong in an instant. But the Toriel inside could only watch with increasing dread and sadness, knowing in part what was to come.

"Wh-who is there?' She managed to get out, going quickly to the door and kneeling before it to better listen for him.

There was a pause, a long pause, where all she could hear from the other side was silence. Then finally, his voice came, weary and weak.

"a herd…" He rasped, far too dully for any proper joke.

This time it was Toriel's turn to pause, clearly noticing his pained tone as well. When she spoke her reply, much of her sudden joy faded, and her tone withered to match his.

"A herd… who?"

More silence followed, and she could just hear the sound of him drawing in a shaky breath before finishing the truly pitiful excuse for a "joke."

" _a herd_  you… you were back in the n-neighborhood." He croaked, voice beginning to shake a bit. "so i thought i'd c-come…"

He trailed off, abandoning whatever potential ending he was planning. Then came the sound of a light thud, perhaps as he fell to his knees in the snow. Toriel's soul spiked with concern, and she pressed closer to the door, trying to listen better. The Toriel inside understood that concern all too well. For her, it was almost normal to hear her dear skeleton's voice shake a bit when he was upset, for he was far less reserved about being openly upset nowadays. But back then… to hear that quaver in his voice, that sign of his despair, during a time when he was still in his withdrawn and impassive state…

"M-my friend? Are you alright?" She called through the door, her own sorrows forgotten for the moment.

There was no answer for a while again, and Toriel could feel something akin to panic begin to dig its claws into the soul of her dream self. When he finally did speak, it was in an even softer voice, one that could barely be heard through the door.

"hey, l-lady… or i guess i should call you your highness now, huh?" He said before pausing again and correcting himself. "or maybe… not."

Neither spoke for another few moments, the dream Toriel finding herself lost for words and Sans likely too caught up in his own sorrows to form any words effectively. For the Toriel observing, hearing that kind of pain in his voice again, after how happy he had been back in the waking world, it was truly harrowing. Enough so that both Toriels seemed to feel a similar acute pain at his next words.

"do you… think you could let me in?" He asked, tone carrying just the smallest hint of a plea, though one that was buried deep beneath hopelessness and wholeheartedly expecting rejection.

The request made the dream Toriel's soul seize up a bit, and her mind began racing. But before she could even think of something to say in return, he went on, still only just loud enough to hear.

"you don't have to, of course… i… just thought… maybe you'd want some c-company y'know? after what happened… and…"

He had to stop again, and she could hear the light sound of rattling coming from the other side. The Toriel observing knew very well what that meant, but this instance of herself seemed far more confused and concerned by the sound. It was only then that she realized that this Toriel still had not actually met Sans, despite this being a timeline where she had indeed left the Ruins to rule for a brief time. It only made the situation more painful to witness, seeing herself being so ignorant of all the things she now knew about Sans so well. If she had control at the moment, she would have thrown open that door and rushed to his side in a heartbeat. That frustration only cut her deeper, when the skeleton in question spoke up again.

"i… i don't really… have anywhere else to go now." He said, voice dull and more detached now. "my brother… he's…. he's gone."

The vaugeity of that statement was not allowed to linger long, and he told the first lie that he had mentioned to her all those nights ago.

"h-he left…" He amended quickly, voice catching a bit. "he left… and i don't think he's coming back."

The dream Toriel kept up her silence, eyes wide as she tried to sort out what he was saying. Meanwhile the Toriel observing only grew more frustrated with herself, wishing she would just say something already.  _Anything_. Rather than leave poor Sans hanging on every word, probably growing more and more hopeless with each passing moment.

"i brought you some books from the librarby and s-stuff…" He went on, attempting and failing to try and lighten his tone. " i-i know you mentioned you were getting sick of reading all the same ones… so…"

It seemed that her continuing silence was indeed too much for him then, as he just uttered one last little "n-nevermind…" before likely getting up and turning away altogether.

But it was that awful resignation in his tone that finally snapped this instance of Toriel out of her confused, conflicted haze. She finally got up and, after only another moment's hesitation, placed both paws on the door and leaned her weight into it. It slowly opened with a low sort of creak, crunching lightly as it scraped through the snow on the other side. At first, the dream Toriel did not see her friend at all, looking right over him by instinct. If the Toriel inside could have slapped herself, she would have. _Hard_. After a moment of confusion and concern though, she finally looked down at him and both Toriels took in the sorry sight of the small skeleton before them.

It was so very jarring to see that intense look of despair in his eyelights again, eyelights that were only barely lit and reflected little more than emptiness beyond that from within the shadows of his hood. There was though, the tiniest hint of relief and happiness at her appearance there, just enough to be noticed. Beyond that, he was dressed in his usual blue hoodie and dragging what looked to be a large pillowcase stuffed with his belongings and the promised books behind him. But the thing that struck the Toriel watching all this the most, was the fact he was wearing a bright red scarf loosely around his neck. A scarf that she recognized immediately, and she felt the true weight of the fact it was on Sans rather than its true owner. Her soul ached terribly in that moment, but there was nothing she could do but stare from within a body she could not control. She gave her dream self credit, that she too had a passing thought that it looked a oversized and clashing on him, but she didn't focus on it for long.

Just like their "official" first meeting during Frisk's battle with Asgore, there wasn't much shock on either of their faces as they looked at each other. For Sans that was much more understandable, but for Toriel it was a little less so. By the stars, had she really stared at him so openly like that? She sincerely hoped not. Unlike that other meeting though, after a few moments, Toriel's soul gave a sharp twist of varying emotions and she leaned down to hug the small skeleton tight in a act of impulse. He stiffened in surprise, but then relaxed again, as though expecting it in some way. And knowing what she did now about what he'd been through, he probably did. He did not return the hug, but leaned into her, just a bit. The feelings she could feel from his soul were so dull and detached that they were almost alien, at least compared to what she was now used to from him.

"Oh my friend." She croaked, squeezing him tight. "I… I am so very glad to meet you at last… I am so sorry that it had to be under these circumstances… F-forgive me for n-not answering you quicker, it is just... I have just been so..."

She drew a steadying breath before biting her lip with her fangs, trying to regain her usual composure. Both Toriels were surprised then he finally did reach up to weakly return the hug with one arm.

"its okay tori..." He rasped, absently.

Her dream self blinked at that, surprise shooting through her.

"How… do you know my name?" She asked, looking down at him.

Sans flinched a bit and backed up from her a step, regret faintly visible in his expression. But before he could offer any sort of defense though, Toriel seem to come to her own conclusion.

"Oh, right, right... Of course you know who I am now…" She said, laying a paw over her face briefly. "I apologize, I am… not really myself at the moment."

The tension in the skeleton's gaze eased at that , expression simply withering back into that empty look from before. The relief that was there was something only the Toriel inside could notice and understand, and it made her soul ache all over again. It was one thing to be told of how Sans had struggled to cope with his unimaginable situation, it was quite another to see it firsthand.

"no worries… i imagine getting exiled like that… wasn't much fun…" He said quietly, stepping back over to her again. "and i'm… not r-really myself right now either, heh."

Both Toriels felt sympathy and pain flood through them at those words, but one's was far more acute than the other's. Her dream self took the opportunity to give Sans another hug, more gentle this time. He didn't fight it, nor return it, simply slumped against her as though he were barely able to keep himself standing. The exhaustion she could feel from his soul was clear, but the rest of his emotions seemed to be tightly wound up within his core, leaving little more than dissociated apathy to show on the surface. It was certainly a far cry from the monster he was now, in their current world.

"I am so sorry… I know your brother means everything to you." Toriel said, reflecting on all the things he'd shared with her about the younger skeleton. "Whatever happened between you two. I… I hope it can be mended. You talked about him so much. I hope he returns in time, my friend, I implore you not to give up on that."

It seemed her words in any timeline were able to stir a little emotion out of that cold, distant soul of his. As a bit of pain welled up inside him, sharp enough to penetrate the apathy and be felt by her soul.

"y-yah... i… hope so too…" He rasped, with a small, nearly undetectable shudder.

Another short period of silence followed, where the dream Toriel continued to hug Sans close to her, and the Toriel inside could only take in the scene. How painful it was, to imagine the true implications of everything happening here. To see her dear skeleton reduced to something so lifeless, so broken. But the pain was dulled somewhat as her thoughts soldiered on. She could find comfort in the fact that the Sans she saw in this vision would not stay this empty shell of himself, and that she, in this timeline and their current one, would be there to help make that so.

"We can talk more inside if you would like…" Her dream self said gently, drawing her attention back to the situation at hand. "I should at least close the door before anyone... sees me outside."

With that, she released him and he stepped back a bit, looking up at her with a weary grin and a touch of sympathy in his eyelights.

"yah... probably." He said, slipping one hand into his jacket pocket and running the other slowly over the scarf around his neck. "so... i can stay?"

Toriel smiled sadly down at him, and it came with a touch of familiar warmth, a warmth that she could not possibly know the true weight of. Not until another, far happier, timeline came along at least.

"Of course you can, as long as you wish to." She assured him, scarlet eyes brightening with emotion. "And I thank you for it… truly."

With that, Sans quietly thanked her in turn and picked up his makeshift bag before the two of them began walking back into the Ruins. As the dream Toriel shut the door again, the one inside could already feel the signs of the vision ending, signs she was now rather accustomed to. The world around her began to blur, and her senses began to dull and fade. Before it vanished completely though, she caught one last exchange between this instance of herself and Sans, one that stirred her soul a bit as wakefulness slowly claimed her.

"You know my name now, my friend, may I now ask yours?" Her own echoey, distant voice asked.

"its sans." Replied the voice of the one she loved. "sans the skeleton."

The dream ended then, and she was slowly eased back into the real world. She groaned softly, as she was immediately beset by one of those damned headaches, only worsened by the too bright sunlight shining into her face from the window. It made her head throb with an odd sort of pulse, along with the sensation that something was tearing at the edges of her mind. It likely wasn't anywhere near  _that_ serious, but it certainly felt like it. The faintest flickers of images also came with the spikes of pain, but they were too faint and flashed by too quickly for her to grasp any of them. She attempted to bring her paws up to massage her temples, but found they were still wrapped snugly around her bed's other occupant. She wished more than anything she could direct her thoughts towards the occupant in question, but the intense pain demanded all her attention at the moment, blocking out everything else. She simply pressed her face hard into her pillows, another light groan escaping her.

The soft noises she was making and all her shifting about was enough to make Sans stir in her arms. Through the roaring in her ears that came with the waves of pain, she heard him mumble something in a confused, sleepy voice, and then felt him sit up a bit beside her. After a moment, his arms slipped gently around her head and his skull rested gently against it, just enough so she could feel it. He knew what was happening, the situation unfortunately not being a new one.

"i gotcha tori." He murmured in a soothing, sympathetic tone, running his phalanges gently through her fur and lightly kneading a few sore spots in particular. "just hang in there, it will be over soon."

He was speaking from their past experiences with this, as these awful headaches had only lasted a minute or so in the past. But there was the faintest flicker of nervousness in his voice, knowing that there was no guarantee that one wouldn't ravage her for longer than that, with as little as they knew about them. Thankfully though, this one did not prove to be an outlier, and began fading just as quickly as the others had. Only once the pain and flashes of images began to ebb away was she finally able to begin thinking with some form of clarity again. Recollections of what had just happened in her dream and the wonderful events of the previous night returned to her, slowly. Eventually, thoughts of the latter and the feeling of Sans' soul nearby helped reduce the aching in her head to a dull throbbing, one that was only irritating rather than painful.

She drew in a deep breath and gave her dear skeleton a squeeze, feeling her soul's warmth be steadily restored by his presence.

"I am alright now Sans, thank you…" She croaked, voice still a little thick from sleepiness and lingering disorientation.

His relief at that was palpable. And he surprised her then by, after a moment of hesitation, pressing another one of his bony "kisses" against her forehead in a meaningful nuzzle. That forced a smile back to her face, along with a soft blush. Oh stars, she was going to have to get used to that now wasn't she? It was an idea that brought her no shortage of joy.

"good…" He replied softly, voice carrying an echo of all the emotions carried over from the previous night. "hope your uh… "dream" wasn't too bad for ya this time…"

His voice prompted her to finally open her eyes as he scooted back down to his original position. She blinked drowsily against the harsh light again, only then truly realizing that it was morning. That was surprising to her, as usually her nightly visions woke her sometime in the dead of night. This one had carried her through to morning… or had taken longer to actually begin than usual. Honestly, she didn't really care to ponder on that too much, far more interested in the situation at hand.

"It was… not bad per say. Not as bad as usual at least." She assured him, finally able to meet his gaze again as her vision adjusted.

He looked back at her, gripping her paws lightly in his small hands. It struck her how happy and at ease he looked, especially in comparison to the vision she'd just endured. His eyelights were bright and focused, the dark shadows under his eye sockets had faded considerably and his smile was genuine and warm. Even the scar on his skull from his injury all that time ago had faded to the point it was nearly gone entirely, adding to the picture of improvement that he was. He could hardly look more different from the Sans in her dream, in all the best ways, and the sight only brightened her smile further.

"what did you see in this one?" He asked, as was becoming a ritual with these occurrences.

And in following with that ritual, she took a few moments to collect her thoughts on the matter, take a steadying breath and then began relaying the events of the memory returned to her. It was easier this time than with most of the others, not having to detail her own death or the death of others at least. But it was still painful to talk of how empty and despairing he'd been in her dream, and of the depths of her own sorrow back then as well. By the time she had finished, it was clear Sans knew exactly what timeline this memory had been from.

"heh, i was wondering if you'd see stuff from that one eventually." He said in a heavier tone, eyelights becoming a bit hazy with thought and recollection. "it was… definitely a rough one. but not the worst at least, thanks to you."

She smiled at that, and decided to let the subject be dropped for the moment, feeling that now was a time to be relishing in their new present, not reflecting on the pain of timelines past. It was to be a busy day for the two of them after all, but in a most wonderful way. Mirroring his actions from before, she leaned over to press a light kiss between his eye sockets, smiling when it summoned a bright flush of cyan to his face. Truly, he was still not used to such acts of personal affection, marked especially as they were with romantic intent. But there was nothing but giddy happiness behind all that blue magic seeping through his cheekbones.

"How did  _you_  sleep, my dear?" She asked, giving his hands a little squeeze.

His smile brightened and he gave one, joyous little chuckle.

"like a babybones." He quipped, the relief evident in his voice. "i had some dreams i guess, but they were just kinda weird, nothing at all like before. didn't wake up once."

It was a reassuring report, maybe not ideal since "weird" dreams were still not good dreams by her definition, but it was enough to make her return his smile. He yawned a few moments later, settling back against the pillow under his skull.

"part of me still can't help but feel that  _this_ must be a dream." He admitted, eyelights darting away for a moment as his blush flared up anew.

It was a sentiment she could understand, hardly believing that all of this had happened at long last herself. She ran her thumbs over his phalanges in a reassuring motion, encouraging him to meet her eyes again.

"I assure you, all of this is real." She replied warmly, before a bit of a more playful expression appeared on her face "Shall I prove it to you? I know quite a good technique for confirming such things  _in a pinch_."

She ended the pun by lifting a paw and tapping two of her clawed fingers together in the respective motion. It brought the soft wheeze of laughter from him she had been hoping for, the sound practically making her soul sing.

"nah, it's okay." He replied once he could manage it, grinning and quirking a brow ridge at her. "but maybe… there's uh... a-another way you can prove to me that i'm not  _k-kiss_ -staken?"

He'd started off confidently, but by the end was all ablush and nervous again, sweat beading on his skull in a few spots. It didn't change the fact that it was a wonderfully clever comeback and she found herself succumbing to surprised giggles at his boldness.

"My, my. Getting greedy already, are you not?" She teased, lightly booping the tip of his nasal bone with a claw in a show of mock scolding. "Very well then."

She shifted closer, cupping his skull with a paw before pressing a kiss against his teeth, feeling the rapt reaction of both their souls as he pressed back into it and slipped an arm around her neck. It was enough to wake them both up a good deal more, as their magic continued its stirred swirling within their souls even when they eventually pulled apart again. During the kiss though, something occurred to her as she felt the warm pulses of magic from his soul meet her own. It brought back a specific memory in a flash, one she'd also feared had only been a dream.

"Oh! Sans, tell me… h-how are you feeling right now?" She asked excitedly, once they'd separated.

He blinked, eyelights still shimmering in their happy heart-shape for a few moments before shifting back to normal. His almost dreamy sort of grin stayed in place though and he tilted his head a bit at her question, curiously.

"uh... right now? pretty damn good i must admit, heh." He said, quite giddily. 

That summoned another little giggle from her but she quickly shook her head.

"No no, I mean how are you  _feeling_?" She said, stressing the last word.

He still looked confused, so she performed another CHECK to see if her observation from the previous night still held true. And indeed, she got the same wonderful result she did before, triggering another great leap of her soul at its significance.

"You should… CHECK your soul, my dear." She urged him, unable to keep her eyes from sparkling in barely contained excitement.

The request again was met with a puzzled look, but he eased himself up into a sitting position. She followed suit, sitting up beside him as he laid his hand against his chest and carefully drew out his soul. Perhaps it was only her imagination, but Toriel could have sworn it looked brighter than it had then when she'd last saw it. Given what Sans was quickly discovering though, it may have been a legitimate observation.

It was normal for a monster's HP to fluctuate over their lifetime, increasing and decreasing in response to mental, physical and emotional health. Most gained more and more naturally over their lifetimes, starting out low in childhood, peaking in adulthood and dwindling as they entered old age. But in Sans' case, with the way he was created, the unnatural weakness instilled in him from that, on top of all his inordinate suffering, nearly beyond comprehension in its severity… It had kept his already dismally low HP lingering there at the lowest possible single digit, as though holding up his soul by one string, hairline thin. And like an inverse of EXP, the more you lose HP, the harder it is to regain it. For his HP to rise at long last, by any amount… It was something truly remarkable.

Sans' eyelight shrank to pinpricks when the realization hit him, and the shock was so great it seemed that it even summoned the briefest colorful flash of his left eyelight for a moment.

"no way…" The skeleton breathed, in a voice barely audible, even to her sensitive ears.

For a moment that was all he could seem to say, then his smile widened, shaky and full of joyful disbelief. His hands started to tremble, the rest of him steadily following suit and causing his soul to lightly shake in his grasp as well.

"i-i… i have 3 hp…" He croaked out quietly, tears beginning to brim at the edges of his sockets. "i… i gained hp… it a-actually went up..."

He gave a overwhelmed, breathless little laugh, moving the soul to one hand as he covered his face with the other. The shivering increased, until he rattled audibly, but Toriel resisted saying or doing anything, knowing he needed this moment to himself. Eventually, he let the covering layer of phalanges fall enough to expose his eye sockets again after a few moments. Then he turned to look at Toriel, just as a tear spilled over and rolled down his cheekbone.

"wh-when... when did this…?"

Toriel smiled gently back at him, ensuring her reply was equally so when she spoke again.

"The last time I CHECKed you… It was that night you told me about the timeline from my dream actually." She said, shifting a little closer. "The night you summoned out GB in your sleep. It was still at one then… So… this must have happened quite recently."

He went quiet at that, taking in the implications as he stared intently at the soul in his grasp. Bright and trembling eyelights glowed within his watery sockets as his wobbly grin stretched further. Then with a sniffle and a few more shaky chuckles he guided it back into his chest. He seemed amazed and happy beyond words after that, and covered his face again as more unbidden tears came, tracing paths down over his euphoric smile. Part of her felt badly that she seemed to be making him cry so much recently, when he hardly ever did before, if ever. But she supposed if they were tears like this, tears of joy, then it was not something to worry over. And in the end, It was good for him too, no matter the emotion behind it, far better than suppressing them as he had before. In this situation especially, it was more than warranted. He should be free to feel all the joy it brought him, without any fear.

Reacting to that, and the elation she could feel coming from his soul, her own scarlet eyes teared up as well and she closed the small distance between them.

"Oh Sans…" She rasped, voice thick with emotion as she wrapped him in a hug. "I am so…  _so_  very happy for you, my dear."

He was glad to return the hug, nuzzling his face against her neck. His shivering calmed a bit in her embrace, but tears continued to fall into her fur. The rapt emotion continued to roll off of him in waves, warm and comforting like a soft summer breeze.

"this… this has never…" He croaked out after a moment, a bit of a chuckle to it and the smile clearly evident in his voice. "i haven't g-gained any hp s-since before all the r-resets started."

With that, he shifted and reached out to wrap his arms around her neck, giving her a tight hug.

"th-thank you toriel…" He all but sobbed, using her full name in an another rare moment and squeezing her tight. "i can't possibly thank you enough… i-i d-don't know what i could e-ever do to repay you for th-this..."

His words struck her soul hard, but in a way that was deeply moving rather than painful. She couldn't reply for a moment past the sudden lump in her throat, no doubt a result of her own tearfulness. It did give her a moment to think carefully about her response though. She squeezed him back tightly once she spoke again, eyes resting on the pot of vibrant forget-me-nots she'd given him, still resting on the side table from the night before.

"You are most welcome, my love." She crooned, matching his meaningful use of her name with a more meaningful, weighty one of her own.

Saying that brought a blush to her own face and she felt the surprised, flustered reaction from his soul at the same time. Once that passed though and it all eased back into familiar warmth she quickly refocused her thoughts again. As much his gratitude stirred her soul and brought her immense joy of her own, she couldn't let him think she was solely responsible for this, for it simply was not the case. That was the sentiment she let enter her words as she went on.

"I am so very happy to have been able to assist in your healing. But do give yourself credit as well." She insisted, rubbing a paw slowly down his back. "You were the one brave enough to take the steps you needed to start improving. I only gave you a listening ear and a push in the right direction. You were the one who chose to be honest with me, to trust in me, to share with me all that you did. And I am sure everyone else also played a role in all this as well, with all the little things they have done to support you. You are so very loved Sans, always remember that."

The words clearly meant alot to him, and briefly sent him into another somewhat overwhelmed silence as it all sank in. Toriel was happy to hold him through it all, until he felt confident enough to pull away again. While the hug lasted though, she relished in the feelings of joy that continued to radiate out from his soul, feelings that would have felt alien coming from him just a short time ago. She now had hope that, in time, these feelings would come as naturally to him as his aptitude towards wonderfully terrible puns.

Once they separated again, Sans rubbed his sockets dry with his sleeve and leaned against her side. He remained silent, but still with that shaky, utterly exuberant smile on his face. It was less manic though, more calm and comfortable. And once he had succeeded in mopping up any lingering moisture, he laid the hand he'd been using on his chest over the spot where his soul dwelled beneath. He gave the fabric of his undershirt there a squeeze and closed his sockets, long enough that Toriel began to wonder if he had fallen asleep like that. Once he shifted a bit again though, she decided it was okay then to break the silence, reaching to take his free hand in her paw to get his attention.

"I suppose we have more than one happy announcement to share with everyone, do we not?" She noted, scarlet eyes still sparkling a bit.

He squeezed the spot on his shirt again with a softer, but no less blissful chuckle and gave her a nod.

"looks that way, heh."

She gave his hand a squeeze, mind inevitably now drifting to the question of how what happened next was going to play out. It did make her nervous, admittedly, but the joyful emotion was too strong to let it manifest in any significant way.

"How would you like to do this?" She asked, voice sobering up just a bit.

Sans hummed thoughtfully, dropping his hand from his chest to tap his phalanges against the blankets in consideration.

"i kinda have an idea of how to get the news out there. about uh… us at least, heh." He said after a moment, smiling up at her with another briefly bright shine to his eyelights. "but i do think we should tell pap and the kiddo in person first. and i guess… the little weed too."

The mention of Flowey inevitably made his happy expression falter a bit, gaze drifting away from her in a small show of anxiety. He recovered quickly, but a touch of that same anxiety remained on Toriel's face as she recalled what had happened between her and Flowey the night before. It was something she had neglected to mention to Sans with the distraction of their relationship finally, well,  _coming into bloom_ , as it were. She gave his hand another, understanding squeeze but one that also asked for his attention again.

"Very well, before that though… I should tell you, about Flowey…" She began cautiously, not sure how he'd take the news.

He blinked, but turned to her to listen with a look that was encouraging. It certainly helped to see that, and she was able to smile again as she told him of the conversation she'd had with the flower monster, and what it had ended up leading to. When she got to mentioning that had agreed to call Flowey her child, essentially consenting to adopting him as her own the same way she'd adopted Frisk, Sans' eyelights shrank in surprise. But beyond the surprise, there was something else there too. Again, it looked to her like a mixture of pity and guilt with some nervousness mixed in. In that moment, she could tell he came close to telling her... something, he'd even tightened his grip on her paws briefly in some sort of anticipation. But eventually a resigned look crossed his features and he deflated. 

"huh… no kidding?" He questioned, the surprise in his voice genuine. "that's uh… that's good i guess."

His confusion and unease about the idea was clear, but he did meet her gaze again with a more meaningful look, allowing his expression to soften.

"if anyone can help that little guy, it would be you tori." He assured her, shooting her a wink. "i'll uh… refrain from calling him "weed" then i guess, heh."

It was about as positive a reaction as she could have reasonably expected from him, and she appreciated it deeply. She offered a giggle at his last statement, and let her gratitude color her reply.

"Thank you, Sans." She said warmly, before giving him a heavier, more understanding look. "Do not worry about Flowey too much though. I chose to accept what he asked of me, and  _I_ will handle things with him. You certainly do not have to engage with him more because of this."

The assurance eased the bit of tension she could detect from him, and he let out a little sigh of relief, pressing up against her side more snugly in response. Still, his eyelights carried a certain weight to them, and she could tell he'd be thinking about the implications of this for a while. Even with her attempts to lessen the impact, It was simply something he would have to sort out for himself on how he'd choose to approach it.

"alright... i'll uh, keep that in mind." He said after a moment, offering up a thankfully more confident smile again.

A nod from her showed her acknowledgement, glad to know he respected her decision even if he likely wasn't too sure about it himself. She was happy then to direct the conversation to the situation at hand, giving a meaningful look at the door before giving him a bright smile.

"Are you ready then, my dear?" She asked.

As she had hoped, the hints of unease in his expression largely melted away at that, replaced with the wonderful happiness from before. Well, the unease regarding Flowey melted away at least, but unease of a different sort remained, and she felt his soul stir faster beside like an elevated heartbeat.

"yah, let's get this over with." He said with a hint of breathless nervousness, but still tinged with good humor as well.

She chuckled lightly at that, giving him a reassuring rub over the top of his skull. It was a gesture he seemed to enjoy, his sockets narrowing a bit in contentment. It was something she was sure to take note of, as she was making an effort to do with all the little quirks of her dear skeleton. She and Sans got up from the bed then, both mentally preparing themselves for the encounter they were about to endure. It would no doubt be… an intense one, but in the right ways she supposed. Sans pulled his hood over his head, likely in anticipation of using it to hide the worst of his inevitable embarrassed and flustered reactions from the others. After sharing one last nervous, but happy look, the two of them left the room in search of a certain other skeleton and human child.

It was mid morning, just a little past ten, and past the time Toriel usually got up to make breakfast for everyone on a weekend. That brought her a little guilt admittedly, but she figured once her child knew the reason she was late getting up, it would more than make up for it. Sure enough, they found everyone in the kitchen, sitting at the sizable table. Well, everyone except the dog, who was indeed still there, and was curled up at Papyrus' feet. The skeleton and human child were chatting in their unique back and forth, and Flowey was simply sitting in his pot, munching on what looked like a half eaten piece of toast. When they spotted Sans and Toriel coming in, the dog exploded up from the floor, wide awake in an instant, and rushed to greet them.

Both met the dog's excited greeting by giving him a subsequent pet whenever he jumped up on them. Sans quickly formed a bone with his magic and tossed it for the canine to catch, giving him something to distract himself with. The dog caught the bone with surprising gracefulness, then scurried under the table again to begin gnawing on it in private. As he did, Papyrus and Frisk got up from the table to greet them. Flowey did not pay them much mind, simply watching absently from the table as he chewed his bite of toast.

"GOOD MORNING YOU TWO!" Papyrus trilled in a sing-song voice, before tapping a gloved hand against his chin with a perplexed expression. "HOW PECULIAR THOUGH, YOU WOKE UP RATHER LATE TORIEL, AND SANS… YOU ARE UP EARLY! IS IT OPPOSITE DAY OR SOMETHING? I CAN NEVER KEEP UP WITH ALL THESE SURFACE HOLIDAYS."

Sans gave a somewhat nervous chuckle from beside her, already faltering a bit in his efforts to keep his cool. She decided she would take over for most of the talking in an effort to spare him.

"Good morning Papyrus, Frisk, Flowey." She said, looking to each of them in turn. "No, it is not a holiday, Things just… happened to work out that way. Sorry I was not up in time to make you all breakfast, but it looks as though you managed alright without me?"

Frisk nodded excitedly, drawing themself up a bit with pride before lifting their hands to sign to her.

(It's okay Mom,  _I_  made breakfast today! All by myself! I put yours and Sans' in the fridge.)

Toriel blinked in surprise and smiled down at them, kneeling down a bit to ruffle their soft brown hair.

"Oh really? Well how thoughtful of you, my child." She said, a proud sparkle in her eye.

Papyrus spoke up then, prompting her to look over at him as she continued to tousle Frisk's hair.

"IT IS TRUE TORIEL! THEY PREPARED GLORIOUS SLICES OF TOAST FOR THE ENTIRE HOUSEHOLD, WITH MY CAREFUL WATCHFUL EYE ONLY THERE LOOKING OUT FOR THEIR SAFETY. I AM SURE YOU WILL BE QUITE PLEASED WITH THEIR WORK, I FOUND MINE POSITIVELY DELECTABLE, ESPECIALLY WITH THE UNIQUE PASTA SAUCE TOPPING."

While the skeleton sung their praises, Frisk hurried over to Sans and gave his jacket a few playful tugs. He flinched for just a moment, grin looking a bit sheepish within his hood. But then he chuckled in response and gave their head a pat as well, only adding to the humorous mess their hair was becoming. Toriel could just make out what they signed up to Sans out of the edge of her vision.

(I put ketchup on yours Sans! I hope you like it.) They signed with a wide smile.

Sans' grin grew wider, seemingly happy for the brief distraction from what was to come, but still with a touch of tightness to his visibly nervous smile.

"heh, you know me too well don'tcha kiddo?" He replied, tucking his hands back into his pockets with a lazy wink. "thanks a ton, a uh…" He paused, his nerves seeming to rob him of the punchline for a moment. "a… uh…. oh, a  _skele_ -ton, heh."

He unusual hesitation with the joke was not lost on the child, who tilted their head a bit in confusion instead of laughing. The gesture also drew Papyrus' attention and Toriel's by extension. Soon everyone was looking at Sans, who was quickly becoming sweaty and pulling deeper into his hood.

"I SEE YOU ARE STILL ACTING WEIRD SANS." Papyrus noted, crossing his arms with a frown. "CARE TO FINALLY ENLIGHTEN US AS TO WHY?"

Sans shrank down further in lieu of his brother's question, the first hints of a blush adding to his already flustered expression.

"u-uh... w-well... pap, y'see its uh…" Sans stammered out, before looking up at Toriel with a plea for help in his eyelights.

She shot him a reassuring smile, wearing a slightly nervous expression on her own face as well. Then she stepped over to stand beside him, before taking a steadying breath. Somehow, she knew she'd be the one to deliver the news in the end. And she was mostly happy with that, even if she too was feeling rather frazzled about putting knowledge of their relationship out there. Before now it had all been secret, which had its own perks, but it couldn't remain that way and once everyone knew it would all be for the better. Still, putting this into words was proving far more difficult than she expected. She cleared her throat before speaking, willing her voice to be as collected as possible.

"We um… we have something to tell you all." She declared, drawing herself up a bit by instinct.

With that, all eyes in the room were on her. Even Flowey and the dog under the table were looking at her interest, both pausing mid chew. Toriel tapped her claws together in an anxious little motion, but managed a stronger smile as she went on, bolstered by the warmth still enveloping her soul. She just had to go for it, make it simple and to the point.

"I know you have been… wondering about our, um... relationship." She said, casting a meaningful glance down at Sans beside her.

He looked back up at her, nervous smile softening at the edges and eyelights shining a little brighter from under his hood. That sight summoned more confidence in her, chasing more of her own nervousness away. By now the stares from everyone were getting more intense, waiting with bated breath for what she'd say next. Her soul did one more anxious flip inside her. This was it.

"Well… I am sure you will be happy to hear that we have uh… decided to go through with it." She went on.

She met all their eyes whilst reaching out to gently take Sans' small hand into her paw. He was stiff and nervous as she did so, but he purposefully squeezed it back.

"Me and Sans are… dating now."

The words hung, and time seemed to stop momentarily as all eyes in the room widened. Then a second passed, then another, then the chaos finally erupted.

"OH WOWIE!" Papyrus exclaimed, briefly taking into the air with sockets that sparkled with manic excitement. "REALLY?! REALLY?! SANS IS IT REALLY TRUE?!"

The younger skeleton was practically vibrating all over and smiling so wide it looked like it could stretch right off his cheekbones. Beside him, Frisk was still staring in joyful shock, hands fumbling as they tried to find something to sign to communicate their feelings. The dog burst out from under the table again and just ran around barking joyfully, not understanding the situation but getting caught up in all the excitement.

"heh, yup…" Sans replied to his brother's question with a wink, gripping Toriel's paw a little tighter.

But the grip he had on her mattered not, as Papyrus simply couldn't help it seemed but pick up his brother and spin him around in a happy circle. He was easily able to lift the smaller skeleton above his his head as he twirled and bounced in place.

"NYEH HEH HEH! I AM SO HAPPY! I JUST KNEW YOU TWO WOULD SEE THE LIGHT EVENTUALLY! ESPECIALLY AFTER I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, HELPED SUBTLY LEAD YOUR SOULS TOGETHER! OH HOW WONDERFUL!"

With the last three words, Papyrus brought his older brother in for a tight hug, squeezing him for all he was worth. Sans' eyelights swirled about in his sockets for a few moments before he was able to recover from the dizziness and smile back at his little brother. Though the smile was strained from the bone-crushing hug he was being subjected to.

"gl-glad you're happy bro." He croaked out, breathlessly. "i'm pretty st-stoked about it myself."

Only then did Papyrus loosen his grip a bit and turn to face Toriel, still holding the lightly gasping Sans in one arm.

"AND WOWIE! IT ONLY TOOK A WEEK OR SO AFTER I SPOKE TO YOU TORIEL! I GUESS MY INFLUENCE WAS EVEN STRONGER THAN I THOUGHT!"

Toriel gave a soft giggle at that, eyeing Sans sympathetically before smiling back at Papyrus. He had a point. With how she had talked about the possibility of a relationship between her and his brother, she had made it seem like something that would take far longer than it did to manifest. That thought made her smile turn a bit sheepish as she replied.

"Eheheh… I guess so, my friend. I thank you for that."

Her attention was then drawn downwards by a tugging on her dress, and she turned to see an excited Frisk bouncing in place beside her. Once her eyes were on them, their hands started forming words in a frenzy.

(I knew it! I knew it! I knew it!) They signed, brown eyes sparkling. (Have you kissed yet?  _Can_  Sans kiss you? Did he ask you out with a pun? Did you ask him out with a pun?)

"Easy now, my child." She giggled, hardly able to keep up with their movements. "One question at a time."

She managed to answer a few things they asked. Most of it was a bit too embarrassing to admit too just yet, but she may have let slip that they had kissed already. Not intentionally, but the way their eyes lit up even more made it clear she may have been a bit too open due to her nervousness. Before that could be addressed further though, she was suddenly swept up in another Papyrus hug, the impact of which knocked the breath from her lungs. She and Sans were both included in the hug this time, purposely squished together in Papyrus' embrace before he released them and stepped back, leaving them both a little dazed.

"AH LOOK AT YOU BOTH, POSITIVELY GLOWING! JUST LIKE I KNEW YOU WOULD BE!" Papyrus gushed, dramatics on full display.

Frankly, Toriel felt more like she was paling then glowing, what with all the air she was now trying to reclaim into her lungs. But she recovered after a moment and instinctively hooked an arm around Sans to help ensure he stayed steady. It occurred to her then that she had no reason to hide such shows of affection anymore and it was a thought that made her smile. But she didn't have much time to dwell on that before Papyrus moved again in front of her, drawing her attention. He whipped out his phone dramatically from somewhere he'd stashed it inside his battle body, pulling off one of his gloves and poising one phalange over the the screen.

"OH WE MUST CELEBRATE!" He exclaimed, beginning to type something. "WE MUST...WE MUST… TELL EVERYONE! THEY WILL BE SO HAPPY!"

Before he could finish whatever it was he was typing though, the phone was abruptly levitated out of the skeleton's grasp, wreathed in a pale blue magical aura.

"wait, uh, hold on there bro." Sans said quickly, stepping over towards Papyrus and continuing to keep his phone out of reach. "i'll uh… i have an idea on how to handle that part."

The younger skeleton frowned momentarily but then relented with a huff and indicated Sans could give his phone back without worry. He did so, but before he could walk back over to Toriel, Papyrus spoke up again, stopping him.

"WAIT A MOMENT…" The younger skeleton said, tapping his freshly re-gloved hand against his chin. "BROTHER, IS THIS WHY YOU WERE ACTING SO ODD YESTERDAY?"

Sans' grin turned rather sheepish again at that and he rubbed the back of his skull as a light dusting of cyan colored his cheekbones.

"heh, you uh… nailed it there bro."

Papyrus' eyelights sparkled brightly again briefly, but he attempted to quickly compose before going on, wanting to hold on to some amount of righteous indignation. He turned and pointed an accusing gloved hand at Toriel this time.

"AND YOU! THIS IS WHY YOU WERE SO CHIPPER EVEN AFTER EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED WITH UNDYNE AND ASGORE!

She mirrored Sans' sheepish smile, lightly scratching at her cheek as it warmed under her fur.

"Guilty…" She replied simply.

Papyrus threw up this hands in a mixture of frustration and still overwhelming excitement.

"I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS! WHY WOULD YOU WAIT TO TELL US?! WE WERE WORRIED SICK!" He exclaimed, gesturing dramatically at himself and Frisk.

Toriel's smile legitimately faltered somewhat at that, feeling a true sting of guilt for letting their worries over them get so bad because of all this.

"I apologize for that you two, we… just needed to ensure some things before we let you know." She said sincerely, unable to stop her smile from returning though as she looked back over at Sans. "This all came about quite… suddenly."

Sans gave a nervous, but no less warm chuckle at that, clearly thinking about the exact "sudden" event in particular. Then he cleared his metaphorical throat and faced his brother and Frisk with a more sober expression.

"and uh... that's not the only thing we gotta tell you." He said, eyelights shimmering brightly within their sockets.

Papyrus eyed his older brother with confusion. Frisk let out an audible gasp instantly, covering their mouth briefly with their hands before signing furiously.

(Oh my gosh, I've seen this on tv before... is Mom pregnant?)

Sans made a sound like he was choking, flushing a deep blue again. Toriel could only gape at her child's question, momentarily struck utterly speechless. For the skeleton, it seemed the opposite was true.

"what?!" Sans gasped, eyelights briefly going out entirely. " _no,_ no no no, geez kid. nothing like that." He stammered out quickly, flailing his hands a bit, before covering his face with one of them in exasperation.

"sheesh… we need to put more parental controls on the ol tube." He muttered, in a quieter tone.

At that notion, Toriel snapped out of her stupor and gave Frisk one of her signature "mom looks", crossing her arms as she did so. It was all that was needed, and it was now Frisk's turn offer an apologetic smile and sign a meek little (Sorry) before giving Sans their attention again. Toriel opened her mouth to say more, but then let it shut again, conceding that she could wait for another time to give her child a more firm talking to. After all, she didn't want to dissuade Sans from sharing his own special bit of news. All eyes returned to the skeleton as the awkwardness of the moment faded, looking at him expectantly. Even the dog, who had finally stopped his excited running about and barking to sit at Papyrus' feet.

Once Sans had regained composure he again faced them with an air of seriousness, but one still clearly driven by joy. His gaze fell on Papyrus most notably before speaking.

"pap, you should uh... give my soul a check." He said, taking a step over to his brother and putting his hands in his jacket pockets. "trust me on this."

Papyrus eyed him warily, narrowing his sockets a bit and looking a little conflicted.

"I KNOW THIS IS GOING TO BE A PRANK SANS." He said, crossing his arms. "AS HAPPY AS I AM FOR YOU, I DO NOT WISH TO HAVE THIS LOVELY MOMENT SPOILED BY YOUR IMMATURE JOKES."

Sans gave a light chuckle in response to that, but then shook his head with the same air of seriousness. He met his brother's gaze again and Toriel could see the joyful sparkle return to his eyelights.

"no pap, really. just do it… you uh… you'll be glad you did." He insisted, and his warm, genuine smile seemed to win over Papyrus' reservations.

The skeleton kept a bit of a suspicious look on his face, but then did as he was told, performing a CHECK on his brother. It took a moment for him to realize what was different, but as he did, his sockets widened and his jaw fell open in shock. Usually Papyrus reacted to things with boundless exuberance and excitement. But in this case, the implications and impact of what he was seeing was so overwhelming, that even he was left frozen for a bit as he took it in.

Beside him, Frisk inevitably did the same and performed a CHECK on Sans as well. They let out another sharp gasp and covered their mouth again, the weight of what they were seeing not lost to them either. Tears began to fill their soft brown eyes, and their already elated expression was furthered by the sight. But they too made no move to sign anything, instead looking up at Papyrus expectantly. The skeleton in question, finally managed to find his voice.

"SANS… YOU… YOUR…" He croaked, sockets rapidly filling and spilling over with tears as he broke from his stupor.

Then, in a flash, Papyrus had rushed over and scooped up his brother in another hug. There wasn't any spinning or bouncing this time, just Papyrus holding his older brother tight for all he was worth.

"OH BROTHER! Y-YOUR HP HAS FINALLY GONE UP!" He cried, voice thick from all the joyful tears. "I TOLD YOU YOU COULD DO IT! I KNEW IT COULD GET BETTER IF YOU TRIED! AND YOU HAVE! YOU REALLY  _REALLY_  HAVE!"

He sniffed loudly and held Sans out at arm's length in order to meet his gaze, though Toriel doubted the poor dear could see much through all the tears still flooding down his face.

"THIS IS… TRULY THE H-HAPPIEST, BEST D-DAY EVER..." He said with a sincerity that made Toriel's soul ache and swell with joy all at once.

It was fair to say Sans was experiencing something similar, only considerably more amplified. Such suspicions seemed confirmed, as the older skeleton teared up a little once more in response.

"heh, i g-gotta agree there bro." Sans, rasped in reply, choked up anew by his brother's reaction.

Then Frisk hurried over, giving a light tug on Sans' dangling slipper and prompting Papyrus to set his brother down. The two skeletons and one human child all gathered in a tight hug, not a dry eye or eye socket to be found. From the middle of it all, Toriel could just hear Sans' voice.

"thank you, b-both of you…" He rasped, looking between his brother and Frisk. " i know none of this would've happened without you two. and everyone else too."

Toriel noticed him give Frisk in particular a sort of meaningful look, one that she didn't quite understand but could grasp the basic implications of. It made the child start crying more audibly, and they threw their arms around the skeleton and buried their face in his jacket. He returned the hug, expression surprisingly peaceful, as did Papyrus, and she got the sense the three would stay that way for a while. As much as she would have liked to join them, especially with the way Frisk was crying, she decided to leave them be. The brothers could handle it, and they deserved to have their moment with this as she had earlier. But beyond that… she also felt it was a good time for her to address the other monster in the room, one who had been simply listening and watching everything that had happened in silence.

She walked over to where Flowey was on the table, offering a somewhat nervous smile as she looked down at him.

"Greetings, my child…" She said, giving the newly established moniker an extra touch of warmth.

The flower monster didn't turn to face her at first, still staring at the scene unfolding in the middle of the room. He had an expression like that of a mask, giving away no tells of emotion and stiff as could be. After a moment though, he did look up at her, drawing in and letting a small breath before speaking.

"I see you made more than one risky move last night, huh?" He questioned, sounding as though it should come off far more embittered, but only registered with the same distant indifference as his expression.

Toriel wasn't sure how to respond to that exactly, and could only offer a similar sort of sheepish grin and light chuckle that she had offered before to Papyrus. It came with a soft blush as well, but it was thankfully hidden by her fur. Flowey continued staring back at her with that odd expression, before it finally fell a bit, just enough to reveal some dull emotion in his eyes. She couldn't quite tell what emotion it was, but it made his beady black eyes less cold.

"Mom…" He went on in a far softer tone, turning to look back at the group, and at Sans in particular. "He… really makes you happy… doesn't he? And… that's why part of why you were able to finally try and fix things with Asgore… isn't it?"

Toriel blinked in surprise, noting the sudden hint of sadness and guilt in his tone. It took her a moment to answer, still trying to sort out the implications of Flowey of all monsters saying this to her. But eventually, she nodded.

"Yes, my child." She said simply, before reaching over a paw and cupping it gently around his back. "It is alright if you do not necessarily approve though. I cannot force you to be okay with this. I do not know exactly why it bothers you to this extent… But for what it is worth. I am grateful that you care so much about me, in your own way."

Now it was Flowey's turn to blink in surprise, a bit more light returning to his eyes as her words appeared to sink in. Then he shook himself and hardened his expression again into his usual pouty scowl, shooing her paw away with his leaves.

"Whatever… Just… don't expect me to call him, ugh...  _Dad_ , alright?" He said with something of a gagging sound.

That summoned a giggle out of Toriel, who took her paw away as requested and then shot him a warm smile.

"Very well then, my child."

She stood there with Flowey for a while longer, feeling things between the two of them ease somewhat even further than the previous night. It was nice, and Toriel could feel that another step had been taken for the flower monster… in a manner of speaking of course. He still had quite an uphill battle ahead, but with the amount of hope and joy she had in her soul at that moment, she was inclined to believe he could accomplish it in time.

After another minute or so, Sans and the others had finally separated from each other, all wiping at any lingering tears and talking in a more calm, amicable manner. Then he noticed her and motioned for her to come over with a hand. She smiled warmly and did so, sharing one last look at Flowey before stepping away. Upon reaching Sans, she briefly leaned down and wrapped him up in a quick hug of her own. Then, mostly for show for the others, she planted a kiss on his cheekbone, resulting in the high pitched squeals and gasp from Frisk and Papyrus she'd been expecting. Sans did his best to take it without becoming too flustered this time, but ultimately couldn't keep the familiar cyan color from spreading over his face.

"ah geez…" He said with a giddy little grin, fiddling with one of the drawstrings of his hoodie.

After a few moments, Papyrus stopped his squeeing and gave his brother a meaningful nudge.

"WELL GO ON THEN BROTHER, KISS HER BACK! OR AT LEAST DO WHAT WE SKELETONS DO. IT IS THE PROPER AND CHIVALROUS THING!" He declared matter of factly, eye sockets still sparkling.

Frisk made a soft sound of agreement, lightly pushing Sans closer to Toriel as well. Sans sputtered out something to them that was rather indecipherable, but then turned back to Toriel to find himself inches from her face. His eyelights darted about nervously and a sheen of sweat appeared on his skull. He'd been comfortable planting those little bony pecks on her earlier when it had just been the two of them, but being asked to do so in front of such an eager audience was clearly another story. Toriel eyed him sympathetically, about to tell those two to give the poor dear a break.

But before she could, he gulped, or at least made a sound like it, and then leaned up on his tip toes towards her, cupped her cheeks in his hands and pressed the curve of his exposed teeth to the tip of her muzzle. He let it linger a few seconds as the chorus of approval from their little cheering squad rose up again, then pulled back with a bit of a light nuzzle. He looked a little embarrassed once she could see his face again, likely for his inability to offer her any sort of real kiss. But the warm, smitten smile she shot back at him seemed to be enough to assuage his insecurities a bit, and he tugged the corner of his hood down a little by instinct as his wide, wobbly grin stretched back into place.

After that fun bit of showmanship on their part and a lot of overbearing compliments and questions from Frisk and Papyrus, Sans eventually took out his phone and gained everyone's attention again.

"so here's the idea i had." He said, tapping the screen and pulling up a specific app.

"alphys made us all get these undernet accounts when the app version was released for the surface, right? well i was thinking… even though we hardly use them, me and tori could just… change our, uh, "relationship status" on there. i know al will see it in like, five seconds since she's pretty much always online, heh. once she does, i think we can rely on her to do the work of spreading the word for us."

Toriel blinked, remembering how Alphys had tried to show her how the app worked a while back. Such things were still rather confusing for her, as was most technology of that sort. She had to admit though, it was kind of fun filling up all the little information slots with facts about herself. Alphys had also taken a rather gaudy and heavily "filtered" photo of her to display on the app. It was rather unrepresentative of her real appearance in Toriel's opinion, but she had to admit she did look better in it than she did in most photos. She occasionally remembered to post photos of bugs she'd found or desserts she was particularly proud of on there, but she always got annoyed with the stream of notifications that would follow. Apparently being the former Queen had landed her many "followers" and "friends" though she was almost certain she hardly knew a fraction of those listed.

Sans' page was nearly empty, unsurprisingly, as shown as he pulled it up. All there was to see was a picture of Sans asleep on a couch with marker doodles all over his face, also clearly taken by Alphys, and a few random bits of texts here and there. Most of it simply implored visitors to "follow my bro" with a link to said other skeleton's account, while a scant few puns and blurry photos of dogs and socks also populated the page. Somehow, he had procured nearly as many followers as Toriel had. The internet certainly was a strange thing.

"WOW SANS, WHAT A SUPREMELY LAZY WAY OF HANDLING THIS." Papyrus noted, not quite able to summon up the usual level of irritation into his voice though.

Sans shot him a wink and shrugged his shoulders.

"thanks, i try." He quipped, before tapping stuff in the app again.

Papyrus usually would have groaned at that, but this time only gave a little sigh that sounded more affectionately exasperated than anything else. Even now that all the euphoria had worn off for them all, his sockets still carried a little sparkle as he looked at his brother. It made Toriel's own soul pulse with joy all over again, only being distracted from those thoughts when Sans gave her a light tap to get her attention. Then she remembered what she was supposed to be doing and quickly got out her phone and brought up the app along with it. It took her a little longer than him because, even though they had gotten her the biggest phone on the market, it still was a bit of a challenge to operate with her large paws. She had to carefully tap out each action with the tip of the claw on her pointer finger. It didn't take her too long though to get the app opened up and then she looked at him expectantly.

"okay, here goes." He said, giving two more little taps on his own phone. "it's supposed to send you like, a notification thingie for you to accept."

They all waited in silence, as if something truly dramatic was going to happen. It all felt a bit silly, but even Toriel found herself holding her breath a bit. All was quiet except for the sound of the dog chewing on his bone again under the table. Then her phone gave its musical sort of pinging noise and something new popped up on the screen. It showed both hers and Sans' ridiculous icons next to each other, with a cartoon heart in the middle. Below that was some text.

CONFIRM: You are now in a relationship with (sans) ?

Below that were the expected green and red CONFIRM and DENY buttons. Even though it was all just for a silly app, her soul still gave a meaningful flutter inside her as she carefully tapped the green icon with a claw. The app gave a happy chime and a cheesy little heart animation played out on the screen. Then it showed her profile again, with her changed relationship status highlighted in green. She smiled at that and looked up at Sans, who held up his own phone with a wink to show it had indeed showed up on both their accounts. 

"i say we have about five seconds before-" Sans began to say, before the sudden chiming of both their phones interrupted them.

Toriel managed to spot the notifications of:

 

(ALPHYS liked your updated status)

(ALPHYS shared your updated status with a comment:

WHAT O.O OMG REALLY?! IT ACTUALLY HAPPENED?! IS THIS FOR REAL?!)

 

The soft sound of typing beside her signaled Sans tapping out something. 

 

(sans replied to ALPHYS' comment on your updated status:

yup)

 

Then both their phones began vibrating and pinging so much that both their screens were lost to a flood of notifications, coming so fast that it was impossible to read them. Sans shot her a grin of victory and promptly switched off the ringer on his phone, rendering it silent and still before pocketing it again. Then he not so casually leaned against her, prompting her to reach over and silently take his hand. He reciprocated the gesture with such ease this time, that it was as if it were already second nature to him. There was a moment where they both relished in what had just happened. Before this, their relationship had been realized but only in secret, between the two of them. Now it was official, out in the world for all to know. She could feel the nerves that that idea instilled coming from both their souls mixing up into an uneasy wave. But it couldn't dampen the joy and relief they both felt, only growing now through the casual, but meaningful grip they had on each other's hands.

She gave his hand a light squeeze and then followed suit in silencing her own phone. Before she could pocket it though, she just happened to catch a different notification being swallowed up and pushed down by the sea of Undernet ones. By instinct, the claw on her thumb swooped in to tap it, saving it before it vanished. It was a text, and not just any text. A text from Undyne. It looked as though she had sent a few in the last couple minutes, unfortunately right when the flood of notifications would have smothered them. Toriel breathed a sigh of relief that she had managed to see and open that one in time, otherwise Undyne may have thought she was ignoring her again. Bracing herself for some potentially volatile, unpredictable messages, she thumbed through and read all of the texts.

 

From: Undyne >( o3o)

(Hey)

(So I know I have a lot to apologize for. But I don't really want to do that over the phone. Feels kind of cowardly and I DON'T DO COWARDLY! So, if you want, me, Alphys and Asgore are all going to spend the day down at the park. We want to get the big guy out of the house, figured the fresh air will do him good…)

(He told us what happened with that Gloria woman btw, and he told us that you really helped him. So thanks for that. It really does mean a lot. Especially )

(UGH JUST COME HERE SO I CAN APOLOGIZE AND THANK YOU IN PERSON! DOING THIS ON A PHONE FEELS SO DUMB I HATE IT!! REMIND ME NEVER TO TEXT YOU ABOUT SERIOUS CRAP AGAIN!)

(We are meeting at 1:30, Grillin burgs and stuff. Bring everyone, even the lil weed if you want.)

 

As she finished reading the texts, a final one popped up, sent right in that moment.

 

(Oh and uh… congrats I guess??)

 

Toriel smiled down at the messages, that one in particular bringing a light chuckle out of her. She was grateful for the gesture they all represented despite their clumsy nature. And after a quick confirmation and resounding agreement from everyone else, she promptly typed out a reply. It was a bit hard to do with the top of the screen still flooding with notifications, but she managed it after some carefully placed taps.

 

To: Undyne >( o3o)

(Dear Undyne,

Thank you very much for your messages and for the invitation, we will all be there. ]: )

Sincerely,

Toriel )


	25. Family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I LIVE! 
> 
> So this week was kind of hell with the usual massive workload, but then on top of that my computer abruptly died on me. So I had to write this chapter on Google docs on my phone. So there may be some weird formatting errors or typos. I've gone over it a few times, but there are still probably some. Once I get my computer fixed/replaced, I'll go through a more thorough check like I usually do. 
> 
> Anyway, I still really enjoyed writing this chapter, especially with all the character interactions I don't get to do much. ^^ Hope you enjoy!~ 
> 
> (Warnings for this chapter: vague mention of suicidal thoughts)

The spring sunlight warmed Toriel’s fur as she walked down the path leading into Newer Home’s park with her family. Everyone seemed excited to get out of the house, especially after being cooped up inside because of the rainstorm the previous day. Well, Sans likely didn’t care all that much about that, but he was quite happy for other reasons and had a smile on his face, a real smile, as he walked along with everyone. She and Sans were naturally bringing up the rear, given the skeleton’s slow pace. Toriel was content with that though and matched his stride with a warm smile. He was good at reminding her to take it easy, especially with how her mind so often plagued her with worries at a frantic pace. It was nice to just slow down and take in everything around them, letting all the happy events of the day be the only thing that lingered in her mind.

In contrast, Frisk and Papyrus led the way with much energy and enthusiasm, chatting and signing in turn to one another as they made their way down the path. Flowey poked out of Frisk’s backpack, looking rather stoic again but seemingly enjoying the feeling of the sunlight on his petals. The dog had followed along as well, and was darting in and out between Papyrus’ legs, much to the skeleton’s annoyance. It was all a wonderful picture of normalcy, a welcome relief after the chaotic, though still joyous events of the morning. Part of Toriel had feared that she and Sans would become some object of fascination for the rest of the household for quite some time, unable to escape their staring. And while that was likely to still be partially true, she was glad the announcement hadn’t come to dominate the day too much.

Perhaps that thought came too soon though, as Frisk looked back at them over their shoulder with a big smile and lifted their hands to sign something at Sans in particular. Toriel managed to catch the words, despite them not being directed at her.

(Aren’t you going to hold Mom’s hand, Sans?) Frisk asked, quirking an eyebrow in a purposeful manner.

She heard Sans grumble something under his breath, sounding vaguely irritated but also a little indecisively guilty, as though he felt bad for not doing so in the first place. Though it was a little amusing and more than a little endearing, she looked back at her child with a hint of firmness to her eyes.

“Now my child, you and Papyrus have had your fun, now leave him be.” She said, with just enough of her motherly tone to make the message stick.

Frisk continued to smile, but obeyed and turned back to the path with a soft giggle. Papyrus promptly questioned the child as to what was happening, and the two were drawn back into conversation, allowing Toriel and Sans some relief from the staring again. She looked down at the skeleton beside her, sensing his gaze on her. Indeed, she found herself looking into his lovely little eyelights, which were still so very bright within his sockets and matched well the warm smile on his face. But there was a hint of nervousness there too, clearly born of Frisk’s question.

“uh... should i be…?” He asked quietly, but trailed off into something of an awkward chuckle.

She mirrored the little laugh and shook her head, smiling warmly.

“Sans, you do not _have_ to do anything, my dear.” She assured him. “There is no need to force such things. I say we played up things for the two of them quite enough for one day. Do not let their teasing pressure you into anything. You are fine.”

She faced back towards the path as she continued talking, eyeing their destination of the open area of the park ahead.

“It might be best to uh… ease the others into the idea anyway, rather than show up in such a way as to shock them further. At least, shock them in the sense of it being so sudden, I mean. I am sure the Undernet post was sufficient enough for that.”

She saw Sans’ posture relax out of the corner of her eye, more snugly settling his hands in his jacket pockets. He’d changed into a new one before they’d left the house for the little outing, rather than simply keeping on the one from the night before. It was another little encouraging surprise from him. He’d only changed the hoodie of course, but it was still worth noting. This one was a very dark blue in color, with a white hood and white stripes along the edges of the sleeves and the hem. She was beginning to realize he’d amassed far more of a collection of them since arriving on the surface then she’d thought. It was understandable though, as hoodies were one of the easiest things to gift to the skeleton. That, anything space themed, and plenty of bottles of ketchup.

She herself had changed into a simple pale magenta sundress and beige sunhat, one self-modified with strategically placed holes for her horns to poke through. It provided a pleasant shadow for her eyes to hide in, and it kept the harsh glint of the sun from them as she looked back down at Sans. Though he seemed contented by her answer, he still offered a reply after a few moments, with a somewhat sheepish grin.

“yah… good call tori, even if most them uh… probably expected this, heh. al made it seem like she did at least, dunno about undyne, and asgore-”

He cut himself off with a wince perhaps by instinct and shot her a brief, apologetic look. When her smile didn’t waver as he seemed to expect, remembrance came back to him and he smiled again with a sigh. Still, something nervous and heavy shimmered in his eyelights again, likely summoned by thoughts of the king of monsters. She could understand why he’d be feeling nervous to be around Asgore now, there was little chance of the encounter not at least being a little awkward for the two of them in particular. The last time they had really spoken had been that stormy night where they’d briefly faced down each other in the kitchen. The two had no doubt bumped into each other on the school grounds a couple of times since then, but she doubted any sort of meaningful conversation was ever had.

“It will be alright Sans, he understands remember?” She said, placing a reassuring paw on his shoulder. “He is a big reason that last night happened the way it did in the first place.”

He smiled thankfully up at her, but his nerves were still ever present in his eyelights. That inspired Toriel to go on, facing the path again and gaining a firmer expression.

“And if he does give you any sort of hard time, I will happily clock him in the nose for you.”

Sans blinked, clearly surprised at that, then was beset by a brief fit of chuckling, so much so it affected his pace somewhat. Once he'd recovered, he looked up at her with an expression that was both amused but also legitimately questioning.

“y-you’re just joking right tori?” He asked, eyelights still shimmering with joviality.

Her firm expression remained in place as she hummed in consideration and narrowed her eyes towards their destination.

“Maybe.” She said simply after a few moments.

When she saw a bit of real concern in Sans’ gaze though, she quickly lightened her expression a bit, turning it to something more playful than stern.

“Just because he and I have begun to make amends does not mean I would allow him to make you feel badly.” She clarified, matter of factly.

That seemed to placate Sans in that regard and he relaxed again, smile loosening up at the edges. There was even a hint of a blush that rose up on his face, perhaps a bit flustered by her willingness to “protect” him in such a way.

“alright, let’s both hope he uh… doesn’t do that then, heh.” He chuckled, shooting her a wink

It was as he said that that they all crested the hill and found themselves in the large, open area of the park. It was framed by tall trees that provided plenty of shade and was host to a sizable pond that rested in the center. Near the back of the area, by the shore of the pond and in the shade of a cluster of birch trees, were Undyne, Alphys and Asgore.

The three of them had set up a table and chairs beside a large grill. The cooler and piles of food on the table showed what the grill in question would soon be used for, and Toriel’s soul gave off a pang of hunger at the sight of it. Undyne was swimming in the pond while Alphys hovered nervously at the shore, watching and seemingly debating getting in herself. Asgore meanwhile was simply observing the scene from where he was sitting against the trunks of one of the trees. It was hard to tell due to the distance, but he seemed to have a small smile on his face. Small, but legitimate.

It was enough to bring her a little twinge of guilt for her earlier quip, but kept her soul erred on the side of caution. Even with everything that was settled between them yesterday, she was still not exactly thrilled at the idea of being around him yet again, especially with the context of her and Sans getting together hanging over the situation. Old wounds and habits would not fade in one day after all. She internally steeled herself a bit but willed up a pleasant expression as Papyrus called over to the others, making their presence known.

"HELLO EVERYONE! THE GREAT PAPYRUS AND COMPANY HAVE ARRIVED!" He declared, striking a pose on the hilltop and somehow catching just the perfect amount of wind to make his scarf billow dramatically.

All of the other's eyes turned their way, and Toriel briefly froze a bit when Undyne's gaze fell on her from where she was half-submerged in the water. The distance again robbed her of much of the expression that then crossed the fish monster's face, but Toriel felt she could guess what feelings would be there. After a moment though, Undyne turned away and then dramatically burst out from the water with a hearty "NGAHHHH!!" Before landing on her feet on the shore and shouting up to them.

"HEYA PUNKS! GET YOUR BUTTS DOWN HERE SO WE CAN GET THE GRUB GOING ALREADY!"

Toriel had primed her paws to cover Frisk's ears by impulse, expecting the fish monster to use a more inappropriate word than "butts." Thankfully that was not the case and she simply gave her child's head a pat instead before they all headed down the hill to meet up with the others. If the fish monster had it in her to be her usual loud, boisterous self, it seemed to Toriel that she indeed was none too affected by all her drinking the previous day. That idea brought her a bit of relief, and maybe even a hint of envy, but not enough to remove any of her nerves regarding the inevitable confrontation that was to come.

They all ended up gathering by the table, Undyne and Alphys walking over from the pond's edge and Asgore rising from his place by the tree to meet them. After the usual warm greetings and Papyrus getting a rather dramatic noogie from a still sopping wet Undyne, it didn't take long for all eyes to begin to drift to her and Sans in a pointed, knowing manner. All except Asgore, who had stepped away to get the grill started.

Toriel had been preparing herself for this, as she had for all the inevitable uncomfortable or difficult encounters she'd be dealing with today. It was made much easier by the joyful warmth that continued to burn brightly in her soul, fueling her will to face it all with a smile. Before things could get awkward or too uncomfortable, she decidedly broke the silence, turning to address the other members of her household. As she did, she tried to ignore the wide, somewhat teasing smiles on Frisk and Papyrus' faces.

"How about you all go help with getting lunch started." She suggested, purposely keeping her voice casual. "I will join you shortly. I just need to speak with Undyne for a few minutes."

At that, Undyne's single narrow pupil shrank briefly and she grit her teeth. But the former captain of the royal guard was not one to ever back down from any difficult situation. She quickly nodded and drew herself up a bit with a determined look, her one yellow eye bright.

"Yeah, I'll be right back babe." The fish monster said to Alphys, flashing her girlfriend a wide, toothy smile. "Help Asgore get that grill lit, make sure the big fuzzball doesn't catch his beard on fire... again."

The lizard monster blinked, shooting another curious glance at Sans and Toriel before remembering herself and the previous day's events. She then quickly nodded, a somewhat sheepish grin on her face.

"Y-yeah, okay Undyne." She replied, before her expression sobered up a bit and she went on in a quieter voice. "Good luck..."

Even with all those emotions at play though, Alphys could not fully abandon her curiosities it seemed. Her interest in the topic of relationships, be them real or fictional, was well known to all of them, and that sort of deep curiosity made her eyes sparkle a bit as she gave them another look. Her exact feelings were not clear in that look alone, which made it a bit unnerving. She clearly wanted to ask them a million questions, but forced herself to turn away then with an apologetic smile and shuffle over to Asgore's side.

Sans was quick to suggest he and Papyrus go set the table. And it was a suggestion so out of place for him that it only caused everyone around to stare at him more rather than less. Frisk followed after them, but more so to continue to be a present witness to Sans' uncharacteristic flustered behavior. The dog trotted along with them too, his primary motivation likely being to be as close to the food as possible. Toriel watched Sans and the others head over to the table with a sympathetic look, hoping her dear skeleton wouldn't have to face any conversations that were _too_ difficult while she was gone.

She looked again to Undyne then and motioned with her head for her to follow. The fish monster nodded and the two of them stepped away behind a small cluster of trees, hoping to keep their conversation away from too many prying ears. Not really for any secrets this time though, thankfully. Toriel then faced the fish monster, watching with some amusement as she continued to wring the water out from her long red hair for a few moments before straightening up again. Undyne was quick to take charge of the situation, drawing in a deep breath and beginning to talk before any hesitation could grip her.

"Okay Toriel. Let's... get the important shit out of the way first, okay?" She said, facial fins drooping a bit despite herself.

Toriel simply nodded, expression rather neutral as she listened to the fish monster. She was sure to keep any lingering negative emotions spurred by the previous events at the bar under wraps, knowing they would not serve any further purpose here. She'd held on to enough grudges in her life, and this situation certainly didn't need to be the seed of another one. Especially given that what resulted from Undyne's outburst had not been wholly negative....

That thought dared to try to tug a smile onto her lips, but she kept a resolved expression in place and focused her attention back to the fish monster.

"I screwed up bad yesterday." Undyne admitted, grimacing a bit. "Like really bad... I was drunk and pissed off and worried about Asgore and I blamed you without even thinking about it. And I should never have... brought up all that shit from the past. Especially in public like that. It was... ugh... goddamnit..."

Her fins drooped lower and her brows knit together in an irritated expression. Toriel could see her webbed hands curling into fists at her sides as well. She understood Undyne was a monster who held herself to a very high standard. So for her to do something like this... it probably got to her more than she'd admit. The genuine remorse shining in her one yellow eye managed to soften Toriel's nerves a bit, feeling more sympathy for Undyne at that point than anything else.

"It was beyond shitty, no question, not to mention way out of line." The fish monster went on after a moment, in a lower tone. "I'm sorry, Toriel. And not even just for all that either... I've been acting prickly towards you for the entire time we've been up here. I didn't even try to understand how you felt about any of this. I just wanted to be angry... for Asgore's sake... since the fuzzy pushover wouldn't be angry for himself."

A soft, sad sort of fondness crossed Undyne's single eye, the narrow pupil drifting away for a moment. But she quickly refocused, and set her jaw in a firm manner.

"That's no excuse though, I see that now. Especially after you did what you did to help him... since you _really_ didn't have to do that, especially after all the venom I unloaded on you. But you did... and it really made a difference for him. I can tell he's less burdened, more at ease than before."

She took a small step forward, gaze piercing for all the emotions behind it.

"So, in short. I'm sorry Toriel, for everything. And thank you, for being a much bigger person than me and doing the noble thing even when I gave you plenty of excuses not too. It... meant a lot, to him, and to me personally."

At that, she seemed ready to allow Toriel to offer a response. Undyne kept her expression firm, but Toriel thought she may have seen a bit of sweat dripping down her brow, but perhaps it was just more water from her swim in the pond. Whatever the case, the fish monster had nothing to fear. Toriel smiled warmly at Undyne, only her eyes still carrying a bit of heaviness to them, weariness born of all the guilt the fish monster's past words inevitably summoned in her.

"I appreciate that Undyne." Toriel said softly, easing her eyes shut briefly. "Your words were... very harsh and hurtful, yes. But much of it was still rooted in truth, and were things I likely needed to hear, even if how it played out was not... ideal. I accept your apology, and I forgive you."

When she reopened her eyes, she found Undyne looking back at her with immense relief in her own single eye, giving it a much softer appearance than usual. Though the conversation could have ended right there, Toriel kept on talking, a wider, more playful grin spreading across her face.

"And... I feel we are somewhat even in the end, given what your harsh words gave me the courage to finally do."

Undyne blinked at that, facial fins fluttering slightly as she quirked a brow in confusion.

"What, talk to Asgore?" She asked.

Toriel couldn't help but giggle into a paw at the question and her eyes brightened a bit as she went on.

"Well yes, that. But there was also... something else that happened yesterday because of it as well."

Undyne's brows furrowed, clearly trying to piece together what Toriel was implying. After a few moments though, her single pupil shrank a bit and her facial fins flared out in realization.

"Wait... wait, hold up." She sputtered out quickly, gesturing along with the words. "Are you saying... _I'M_ the reason you and Sans finally hooked up?"

Toriel's grin widened and she nodded, quashing down the urge to laugh again but unable to keep her scarlet eyes from betraying her internal amusement and joy.

"You certainly played a big part in it." She confirmed, a lilt of joviality to her voice. "And so, for both of the things you helped me do, I must thank you in turn, Undyne."

She inclined her head slightly in a formal show of thanks, both for the sake of playful dramatics and for displaying her genuine gratitude. When she straightened up again, it was easy to see the mix of emotions on Undyne's face, clearly not exactly sure how to take the idea of her involvement in Sans and Toriel getting together. Before she could linger too much on that though, Toriel offered the fish monster a paw and another warm smile.

"Friends?" She asked.

Undyne looked at the paw and then slowly flashed a wide, toothy grin. Her facial fins flared up as she did so and gave a happy flutter. The fish monster took Toriel's paw and gave it a hearty squeeze, almost enough to be painful.

"Yeah, friends." Undyne confirmed with a firm shake, before pulling her hand back and placing it on her hip.

She paused a moment, then decided to go on, expression sobering up somewhat.

"You uh... take care of that lil punk, y'here? Seems to me he could definitely use it. He... didn't seem to be doing too well for a while there." She said, voice echoing her more somber expression.

Toriel was a bit surprised to hear those words coming from Undyne of all monsters. They stirred a mix of emotions in Toriel's soul, bringing back flashes of the dismal state Sans had been in not too long ago. But as was thankfully the case lately, the positive feelings Undyne's words summoned won over the negative. She nodded in response, slowly.

"I certainly will." She vowed in a voice that was both warm and resolute.

After a moment, she decided to ask Undyne a question of her own, unable to hide her curiosity.

"You noticed it too?"

The fish monster nodded once and made an affirmative sound in her throat as her one eye briefly became somewhat dull.

"Yeah... maybe I wouldn't have noticed before... But... being with Alphys, especially helping her through all the shit she deals with regarding her past... I guess its made me more, like... aware of these things."

Undyne's frown deepened at that, and her facial fins drooped once more.

"Sometimes the look in that skeleton's eyes... It came way too close to how Alphys' looked that day I first met her at the dump. And she was... well... let's just say she was in a real bad place then."

Silence hung for a bit after she spoke those words, as their implication set in. Toriel did not know exactly what had transpired between Undyne and Alphys then, but with the tone the fish monster used for that last statement, and Toriel's knowledge of what Alphys had been involved with during her time as royal scientist, it wasn't hard to guess just what sort of dire state Alphys had been in then. For her to say Sans looked similarly... Toriel had to suppress the sick feelings such a thought brought to her soul.

She was about to say something, maybe offer condolences, maybe just voice understanding. But Undyne spoke again before she could, looking purposefully into Toriel's eyes this time.

"And also uh... take care of yourself too okay?" She said, offering a weak sort of smile. "You really haven't been looking too great either lately, better today granted, but still..."

The words made evident the weight of everything that still rested on Toriel's soul. It had been purposefully ignored in favor of all the joyful emotions that had wrapped snugly around her soul, but it was always still there, just at the edge of her perception, waiting to tear at her mind and invade her dreams whenever she slept. She purposefully did not allow herself to give it focus in that moment either, but the heavier emotions it brought reflected in her red eyes, making them look hazy.

"Yes... I know." She murmured a soft reply, briefly turning to look in the direction of the others. "Sans and I are both taking steps to improve in regards to our own struggles. I feel we have made great progress, especially now that we do not have to hide our feelings for one another throughout the process, but there is undoubtedly still a long road ahead for the both of us."

She looked back at Undyne then, and a after a moment, a warm smile slowly began reappearing on her face. Genuine gratitude for the fish monster's words flowed through Toriel's soul, washing away the majority of any lingering pain that Undyne's outburst the previous day had instilled in her.

"Thank you for your care Undyne, I hope you and Alphys can find peace in regards to your own struggles as well." She said in a stronger voice.

Undyne blinked at that, but briefly kept that somberness to her expression.

"Yeah..." She rasped back, in an uncharacteristically soft voice.

But rapidly after the word left her, she shook herself and drew herself up to her full height, a passionate fire blazing up in her fierce yellow eye again. A massive, confident grin came with it, though it may have been just a bit strained.

"Don't worry! I won't stop until Alphys loves herself just as much as I do! I'll make all her dark thoughts fight me head on and I'll beat them into submission with my BARE HANDS! NGAAAHH!!"

With that, Undyne promptly grabbed a nearby large rock and suplexed it with surprising ease. It hit the ground with a massive thud and then split into two pieces. Toriel watched the scene with a bewildered expression, not sure how exactly to react to that. She was impressed she supposed, but also a little terrified. Undyne straightened up again with another whoop of exhilaration, seemingly having banished any lingering negative thoughts with her grand display.

"Now come on, let's get back to the others, I'm STARVING!" She insisted, maintaining that wide grin. "And I'm sure you'll be wanted to help in the food department."

Toriel just nodded in response, still a bit stunned by the sight of the rock that had been casually split in two. She followed Undyne back towards the others, able to find her voice again after a few moments.

"You are not uh... helping prepare the meal today?" She asked, hoping that her fear towards the idea did not show in her voice.

Undyne thankfully didn't seem to pick up on that, still beaming as she replied.

"Well, I totally would, but apparently my technique is too extreme for all these weenies!" She exclaimed with a laugh. "Also Asgore said we don't want to have to pay a fine for scorching the grill to pieces... and yah, my way does create stuff thats basically inedible anyway, so I guess it's better I just eat everyone else's food with MAXIMUM APPRECIATION!"

With those particularly loud final two words, they drew the attention of the others as they approached. They all looked relieved to see them both coming back from their little talk in good spirits, signaling it had all gone well. Toriel hadn't considered how worried they may have been, and was sure to put a reassuring smile on her face as she joined them all again. The table was fully set and the grill was now lit, with Asgore beginning to lay burger patties and hot dogs onto the wire mesh. The expected delectable smell was just starting to fill the air too, sending light hunger pangs through her soul again and likely everyone else's as well.

Undyne went back to Alphys with the expected reassurances, while Toriel hesitated a moment. Though she knew it would only worsen the curious scrutiny she and Sans were enduring, she quickly decided to go sit next to him on the picnic table's long wooden seat. He was sitting there with his hands in his jacket pockets, his usual lazy grin and his hood up again, looking as though he were trying to appear as casual as possible but also make himself invisible and avoid eye contact with any of the others.

His reaction to her joining him on the seat was both renewed nervousness and relief. Thankfully the relief seemed to far outweigh the other. He leaned into her side a bit as she settled next to him and she smiled warmly back down at him, only hesitating a moment before looping an arm lightly around him in turn. She could tell Sans wanted nothing more than to take a quick nap if only to escape having to deal with all the knowing, curious looks directed towards them. But his usual strategy didn't seem to be a match for Alphys, who was the first one to finally break the silence on the subject from her place by the grill, likely due to Toriel's little display of affection finally breaking her resolve.

"S-so u-uh... what you guys posted on Undernet... it's... it's true then? Y-you two are...?" She asked, that eager sparkle of interest entering her eyes again.

The question inevitably brought all eyes back to them, Toriel could even swear she felt Frisk and Papyrus' gazes on her back from their place behind them. The only exception was Asgore, who kept his attention firmly on the grill. Toriel wasn't sure how exactly to feel about that. She prepared herself to launch into the same sort of speech she had that given morning, but Sans surprisingly was the one to respond.

"yup." He answered simply, exactly like his reply on the Undernet post in question.

Again, it was hard to tell exactly how Alphys felt about that. Her comment on their post implied she had been expecting it. But expecting something and approving of it were two very different things. Toriel knew that the lizard monster had expressed interested in her and Asgore getting back together in the past. Something she called "shipping" or something like that. Honestly Toriel didn't see how boats had anything to do with this, but assumed it was some sort of obscure metaphor she didn't understand.

Whatever the true meaning behind the term, Alphys stepped closer with interest, a convenient sheen of light on her glasses further hiding her feelings on the matter from them. She stared for a few more moments before her usual slightly nervous smile spread across her face again and her eyes became visible once more.

"Well, t-took you two long enough." She said, daring a more mischievous smile. "I was beginning to wonder if it would ever happen."

Her reaction then brought all eyes to her, including Asgore this time, who looked over his shoulder and raised an eyebrow in surprise. His eyes carried some brief flash of emotion Toriel couldn't quite catch before he turned back to the grill again. She decided not to dwell on it, focusing on Alphys instead and tilting her head a bit in confusion.

"You are not..." She paused briefly, searching for the right word. "Disappointed?"

Alphys let out her usual nasally little laugh at that and shook her head.

"Nah, I'll admit I m-might have been at first, but over time I-I've grown to see the appeal."

That mischievous grin on her face grew wider and she looked at Sans in particular, a teasing glint in her eye.

"Especially after w-watching through a particular collection of tapes from the old Underground surveillance s-system..."

Toriel just felt more confused at that and looked down at Sans to see his sockets narrow a bit, and a few drops of sweat dot the visible part of his skull.

"what... tapes?" He asked, suspiciously.

"The ones from the camera I had set up in the bushes by the Ruins door." She answered with a smirk. "I must say, it captured quite a few great candid moments of you Sans. I particularly enjoyed the ones where you'd get all flustered and blue in the face whenever you got her to really laugh."

Sans sank deeper into his hoodie with a sound that was somewhere between a groan and a defeated sigh. Alphys twittered on, unphased. 

"The more I watched though, the more I got it, you two fell in love without even seeing each other's faces, without even knowing each other's names! That's so romantic!" She exclaimed, eyes sparkling and tail wagging a bit. "It reminds me of this one anime where there's this girl who gets a letter from a mysterious person from their school and they become anonymous pen pals who write their deepest thoughts and also just lighthearted records of their days to each other and she slowly realizes she's falling in love with them and then it all comes together in this one scene where..."

Alphys kept on talking at a frenzied pace but Toriel couldn't keep up with her, feeling like all the words were making her head spin. She maybe got the gist of what the lizard monster was saying but even that wasn't certain with just how fast the words were coming. Sans just continued to try to sink into his hoodie as far as possible beside her, face deeply flushed. When Alphys did eventually stop, Toriel blinked a few times and offered a somewhat sheepish smile.

"I... um... I am glad you think so?" She managed after a moment.

Apparently that was an acceptable answer and Alphys grinned before going to sit on a conveniently placed log across from them that Undyne had been watching the exchange from. Toriel breathed a small sigh of relief, feeling more of the nervous weight lift off her soul. Two down, one to go.... but that "one" was... She looked back up at Asgore, and caught Sans doing the same. They both already knew he approved of them, at least for Toriel's sake, but the question of how this would color the relationship between him and Sans was still up in the air. She could feel that exact unease from the skeleton beside her, as he stared up at the back of her much larger ex husband, who had been rather unsettlingly quiet since their initial greeting. Before anything could be said or done in regards to that though, Asgore abruptly looked over his shoulder and and faced them all.

"Well, now that that's settled, what would everyone like, a burger or hotdog? I'm just about finished with these first few." He asked, quite genially.

All except Toriel and Sans were quick to voice their preference, and Asgore nodded, taking note. In response to their notable silence, he looked over at Toriel in particular, and she tried not to show her inner unease and quickly increasing confusion as he did so.

"Toriel, would you mind fetching me the buns and condiments from the table?" He asked, still notably casual as could be.

She blinked, the question taking a moment to set in. His complete lack of a more notable response to all this took her rather off guard, as she had at least been expecting... something. She wasn't sure what, but certainly not this sort of near perfect normalcy.

"Um... alright..." She replied, the words coming out slow with confusion.

She shared an equally puzzled look with Sans before getting up and rounding the table to fetch the bags of hamburger and hotdog buns along with the various toppings that had been brought along. As she worked to open one of the bags with the tip of her claw, she saw Asgore finally look down at Sans directly as Alphys began loading all the finished food from the grill onto a plate, and she felt her soul twinge nervously. Even with things at least partially smoothed out between herself and Asgore, there was something instinctually reactive that flared up inside her seeing her ex husband towering over Sans like that, even if Asgore's expression was nothing but friendly. She paused in her work to watch, tensing up and preparing to intervene if need be.

"Howdy Sans, you haven't told me what you want yet. What are you in the mood for?" Asgore asked with a smile, leaning down a bit to better address the small skeleton.

Sans looked up at him with a terribly nervous grin from deep within his hood, and perhaps the tiniest hint of intimidation showed in his eyelights. It was a far cry from the confident way he'd confronted Asgore that one stormy night, though considering the difference between the situations, plus the fact some of Sans' nerves were no doubt fueled by thoughts of that very night, it wasn't too surprising.

"u-uh... heya... asgore." The skeleton managed to get out in response, looking like he'd rather be anywhere than where he was in that moment. "i... well... uh..."

Asgore quirked a brow in a confused expression, his bi-colored eyes still reflecting nothing suspicious or negative.

"Golly, are you still not feeling well? It is not like you to avoid eating." He noted, with a hint of concern.

Sans' grin grew a bit more strained, though he tried to hide it with a weak sort of chuckle before shaking his head.

"n-no, i'm... i'm fine, heh. guess i just thought you'd be... y'know..." He trailed off again, more sweat drops appearing on his skull.

It seemed it wasn't necessary for Sans to finish that thought, for Asgore caught onto the implication right away. The emotion in his eyes became sympathetic and a touch surprised as he frowned a little in response.

"Goodness, now why would you think a thing like that?" He asked, sounding legitimately confused. "We're friends aren't we? And you've made the monster dearest to me happy. Why would I be upset with you?"

Sans seemed a bit lost for words in the wake of that, simply blinking up at the much larger monster with a still quite bewildered expression. Toriel though, felt more of the reality behind Asgore's words and could see it in the other boss monster's eyes. Even now, a century after their separation, she could still read him rather easily. The sentiments behind his words were true, but she could still see that same small hesitation and pain he'd expressed yesterday when the topic of hers and Sans' relationship came up. It was small and thoroughly controlled, but still there. She again felt a pang in her soul, followed by a touch of gratitude for the fact Asgore would choose to be so kind to Sans despite everything the skeleton surely had to represent to him.

Sans seemed quite grateful too, even if it was a little harder to see in his expression beyond the nervousness and confusion. After a moment, he managed a reply to the King of monsters, uneasy grin softening up a bit.

"heh... w-well... when you put it that way..." He said with a small shrug of his shoulders, before seemingly forcing himself to meet Asgore's bi-colored eyes.

"so... are we like... cool then?" He asked, slowly.

Asgore immediately shot him a wide smile and reached out a paw to give the skeleton a friendly pat on the skull. Perhaps a bit too roughly though, as the boss monster's large paw smooshed Sans down into his hoodie even further as he did.

"Oh yes! We are most "cool"!" Asgore assured him with a cheerful tone.

He said the word in question in a way that was remarkably _uncool_ , even to someone as out of the know as Toriel, and she couldn't help but roll her eyes a bit.

"Don't you worry about that, Sans. I do hope that idea hasn't been causing you stress today, You should be cheerful on a day like this!" Asgore insisted, stopping his unintentional assault on Sans' skull and placing both paws on his knees. "Now, what would you like from the grill?"

It took Sans a moment to recover enough to answer the sudden question. He rubbed at his now surely aching skull in what was likely the most nonchalant way he could muster. Still, his smile now seemed far more genuine and something of a more lighthearted chuckle escaped him.

"heh, alright..." He replied, visibly relaxing by degrees. "a dog' would uh... be nice. thanks."

Asgore seemed all too happy, perhaps a little forcibly so, to finally get an answer from Sans. He brought his paws together and straightened up in preparation to fulfill the skeleton's request.

"Great! And for the topping?" He asked.

Toriel thought that was a silly question. Everyone knew what Sans' favorite topping was by now, but she reasoned this was likely just another effort by Asgore to be cordial.

"just uh... ketchup." Sans replied, confirming the obvious before offering a lazy shrug and wink in Asgore's direction. "i don't typically like _tomate_ my food too complicated, heh."

Asgore's expression fell slightly to something a touch unamused, clearly not finding the pun all that funny. Her ex-husband had never been especially fond of Toriel's jokes either, but had been willing to humor her and play along for her sake all that time ago. He didn't seem to have it in him to extend that same patience to Sans though, perhaps in part because he was being reminded that wonderfully awful jokes like that had been a big part of initially sparking Toriel and Sans' relationship in the first place. Not helped of course by the immediate, only vaguely muffled laugh she let out from her place behind the table. But Asgore quickly worked up a more forced grin and offered at least a curtesy laugh to the skeleton's quip.

"Ahahaha... yes... good one..." He managed before turning back to the grill. "Coming right up."

Even with Asgore's less than amused reaction, Sans still seemed relieved and much more content than before. He shot Toriel a small, meaningful glance over his shoulder as she recovered from giggling and she met his gaze with an equally clear look of relief. They must have been caught up staring at one another for a few moments, because Asgore suddenly speaking up again nearly made her jump.

"Everything okay back there, Toriel?" He asked, still with his back to them.

Toriel shook herself, letting the heavier implications of what had just occurred roll off her shoulders for the moment. Surely it would all be easier to, ha,  _digest_ once they had all had a good meal in them. Frisk's toast this morning was certainly good, if a bit crispy, but it was certainly not all that filling. Her soul gave off another sharp hunger pang that quickly focused her mind back to the task she'd been assigned.

"Uh, y-yes. Be right there." She answered back, quickly cutting open the other bag of hamburger buns and carefully gathering everything up in her arms.

As she walked back over to Asgore, it occurred to her that she had not yet indicated her own meal preference and she decided to do so before he asked and potentially dragged her into a conversation of their own. Even if things were going surprisingly well in many respects, she still wasn't too keen on being around him more than what was considered polite. It had only been a day after all since their attempts at reconciliation had started, and in that regard, this had already been more than enough. Still, she was once again grateful that no sick feeling churned about in her soul when she briefly stood beside Asgore and set the buns and condiments on the grill's prep table.

"I will take a hotdog as well if you do not mind." She said, with perhaps just a hint of stiffness, but balanced by a small smile. "With some lettuce and hot sauce."

Normally she'd insist on prepping the food herself, but Asgore seemed quite happy and even eager to prepare everyone's meals, so she decided to leave it to him for now. If it cheered him up further from the poor state he'd been in the past few days, then there was no harm in giving him that. His smile warmed considerably at her words, restored from its momentary faltering due to Sans' joke. She could tell there was much he wanted to say to her as his gaze met hers for a moment before he spoke again. But he thankfully, had the will to simply nod and offer the short, expected answer.

"Of course. Thank you, Toriel." He said in a polite, quiet manner before turning back to his work and beginning to fulfill the requests that had been sent his way.

After all that, it didn't take long for everyone to get their "orders" and begin enjoying their meals. Frisk with Flowey in tow had to be fetched from up a tree they'd decided to climb and Papyrus had to be fished from the pond after Undyne "accidentally" tossed him in before diving in again after him. Apparently the fish monster had forgotten that skeletons notably did not have the ability to swim, given that they lacked the necessary components for it. Thankfully, they had no need to breathe either, otherwise Papyrus' brief time being stuck at the bottom of the pond before Undyne dived down to get him would have been far more panic inducing for everyone.

But the wet and somewhat grumpy skeleton along with everyone else were soon gathered at the picnic table and enjoying their meals. And with Papyrus being Papyrus, he perked up again rather quickly. Toriel was glad to have most of the attention taken off her and Sans for a while as everyone partook in casual chatter as they ate. An occasional question along with a knowing look or two was directed at where they were sitting together, but it never lasted as long or felt quite as embarrassing as before. The relief of having the information finally out in the open and addressed allowed her to focus on all the joyful warmth still enveloping her soul instead. A warmth she could tell he shared from what she could feel from the pulses of his nearby soul.

Papyrus also let slip the other wonderful news of the day, leading to many more elated reactions and congratulations. It struck Toriel to see how happy they all seemed for Sans finally getting his HP up a bit, all recognizing just how dire his situation had been for so long. He'd been a bit overwhelmed by being the subject of so much positive attention once more, but had no less been clearly, deeply touched, especially when Alphys came over and gave him a meaningful hug. It was so wonderful to see, especially in light of what she had told him that morning. She had assured him then that he was so very loved, and everyone had more than proved that today.

Eventually, after some partook in seconds and even thirds, everyone had had their fill. Toriel assumed the initial plan had been for everyone to head home shortly after that, but somehow, everyone seemed to silently agree to stay. Sans and Toriel took to sitting in the shade of a tree on a small hill close by to watch Frisk attempt to play fetch with the dog. But the canine had also thoroughly stuffed himself with bits of the meal that had been offered to him beneath the table, so he was far more interested in finding the coziest place to give into his food coma.

That eventually led him to trot over to their tree to hop into and curl up in Toriel's lap, happy to accept the many pets they both offered him as well until he fell asleep. Toriel set her sunhat on the snoozing dog's head, resulting in quite an amusing sight. Not wanting Frisk to be disappointed though, Sans summoned out GB to play with them instead, a task the blaster was most happy to oblige to. At first, Toriel had voiced concern over the idea, given how the blaster had shown aggression towards Frisk in the past. But Sans seemed confident in assuring her it would be fine. And indeed, GB promptly nuzzled Frisk upon being summoned, showing no signs of fear or anger at all. Toriel had a passing thought about Sans' connection to his blaster, and how his better state of mind might be the reason for the sudden change reflected in GB, but it didn't linger for long, lost in the happiness that came with watching the two play and get along at last.

Sans followed the dog's example soon after that, snuggling up against her side and drifting off, still ever with that happy smile on his face. She looped an arm around him to hold him close while her other paw absently stroked the dog's soft white fur. Both their warmth against her and their soft snoring was quite soothing, especially combined with the contented peace she could feel from her dear skeleton's soul. She may have joined the two of them in their nap if her motherly instincts didn't insist on her watching Frisk while they played with the blaster. She trusted GB of course, but there was always going to be a bit of caution involved when concerning a being that could shoot deadly lasers from its jaws.

It was no matter, for her vantage point under the tree also allowed her to occupy herself by observing the others. Back at the pond, Undyne had finally coerced Alphys into swimming with her. The lizard monster was floating in a pink pool ring, using her tail to lazily push herself through the water as she watched her girlfriend find as many ways as possible to perform a cannonball jump into the pond, including leaping down from a nearby tree. The splash that one caused nearly sent Alphys all the way back to shore and splashed Papyrus again from where he was helping Asgore clean up everything from their meal, much to his very loud displeasure.

But what attracted her attention most about the scene unfolding below was that Asgore looked to be talking with Flowey as he worked to clear off the table the flower monster's pot was sitting on. It was hard to parse the exact emotions on their faces from the distance, but it looked to her that Asgore was indeed smiling, and it seemed to be a softer, more genuine smile. Flowey had his back to her, keeping his expression a mystery, but his posture seemed to be low and non confrontational, which was certainly a good sign.

She had no idea what they were discussing, but given that she so rarely saw the two interact, it was rather notable. In light of Flowey's odd investment in her and Asgore's reconciliation, she couldn't help but think that must be what the two were talking about. It brought about mixed emotions in her soul, admittedly, but reasoned that she should try not to worry about it too much. Given that Flowey now openly called her mother, perhaps he'd be willing to answer that question and more in due time.

She returned her attention then to Frisk and GB, in time to see them engaging in a playful tug of war with a long stick. Thankfully the blaster was being mindfully gentle in the little game, only pulling just enough to give the human child something of a challenge. That fact allowed Toriel to fully relax again, and she spent quite some time after that just watching her dear friends and family from the shade of the tree and holding close the monster she loved. It was a blessing to know that, she had no real need to be shy about doing so from now on. In his sleep, Sans nuzzled closer and she rested her cheek atop his skull, letting her fretful mind be quieted and her soul be soothed by his presence as she continued to watch her child and GB with a warm, fond smile.

Time passed that way and before long the sun was starting to dip low in the sky, casting everything in the warm, muted colors of evening. It was around then that Undyne called everyone back down to the pond, leading them all not to their original spot, but to a new one across the way with a fire pit. Chairs had already been set up around it and Asgore's familiar bright orange flames danced within the stone circle. A pile of fire pokers and an extra chair full of bags of marshmallows, chocolate bars and graham crackers made clear what the fish monster had planned for them.

"I got hooked on these while on our beach trip with Pap!" She had said after leading them over. "You all gotta try em, they get stuck in your teeth a bit, but they taste AMAZING!"

After that, it didn't take long for everyone to gather around the fire and begin roasting marshmallows. Though in Undyne's case, she quite literally roasted them and eventually required Papyrus' help to ensure she made something actually edible. Toriel ended up with both Sans and Frisk sitting on her lap, the latter happily taking over with the majority of marshmallow roasting duty. Her child showed Toriel had to properly construct a "s'more", a treat she'd seen others make before by had never tried herself. Undyne was right about the marshmallow getting stuck to her teeth, especially her fangs, but she was also right about them being delicious. Sans also found them a suitable incentive to wake up for, glad to partake in all the s'mores Frisk made for him. Though she was quite glad to see more signs of the two of them at ease with each other, Toriel had to remind them both to stop after eating three, if only for their health.

After that, Sans was dragged off by Alphys , Undyne and Frisk for some experiment involving the potential of marshmallows cooked by the magical flames GB could produce. Papyrus followed along, mostly to voice his dissent over the whole thing. While Toriel was admittedly quite curious as to what sort of outcome would come of all that, she also saw the situation as an non ignorable excuse to do something she'd been putting off. Her eyes drifted over to where Asgore was sitting, somewhat awkwardly crammed into a pop up chair that was straining to hold his weight. Flowey was in the cup holder of the chair, noisily chewing bites of the s'more Asgore had made for him. The other boss monster was looking at the flower monster with a sort of hesitantly amused fondness in his eyes.

A soft sigh left Toriel, lost to the crackle of the fire and carrying her lingering anxiety with it. As much as she, admittedly selfishly, didn't want to, she knew she should talk to Asgore again. If they were going to make headway in starting over as they had vowed to do, she'd need to be willing to have more conversations with him beyond what had transpired the previous day. Even if most would agree this could be too soon, Toriel feared she easily could slip into her old ways of avoidance if she didn't do something proactive. If she and Asgore were to try to be friends again, they should be able to have normal, casual conversations going forward... right?

She swallowed hard but then composed herself and rose from her chair, walking over to sit in the now vacant chair next to Asgore and Flowey. Part of her wished the flower monster wasn't there to witness her awkward attempts at normalcy, or to potentially mock her for her failure of it, but she reasoned she'd simply have to deal with it. Flowey's eyes noticeably brightened when she came over, and he looked between the two boss monsters with curiosity. Asgore was no less surprised by her actions, eyeing her a bit warily, as though fearful he was in for some harsh words from her. Old habits died hard on both sides it seemed.

"Asgore." She attempted to greet him, flatly.

Well this was already off to a poor start.

"Um... howdy, Toriel..." He replied with equal uncertainty.

Silence followed as she found herself struggling to come up with anything to say. She had things she _wanted_ to say, no doubt, but her mouth felt like it was filled with glue. It seemed Asgore recognized her failing efforts at trying to be civil, and offered a small smile that was equally sympathetic and grateful. He showed her mercy and offered something for their conversation to latch onto.

"So... I take it the flowers I gave you worked rather well, yes?" He asked, gaze briefly drifting over to where Sans and the others were.

Relief met her soul with the question. That was something she could work with, and suddenly she could form words again.

"Indeed, he certainly seemed to like them. I would say they were a good help in aiding the process." She replied in a warmer tone. "I thank you again for that Asgore, and... I thank you for... being kind to him today."

He blinked at that, and though he seemed happy for her words, she didn't miss the fact he looked a bit hurt too.

"Did you really think I would... antagonize him over this or something?" He asked, frowning.

Toriel felt a sting of guilt again, but willfully ignored it as she shook her head in response.

"No... but... I know it must not be easy for you. So it means a lot to me, that you would do that." She explained, eyes briefly falling to the flames in the fire pit.

That brought back his smile, and his bicolored eyes shone in the flickering firelight. Though there was still some ancient sadness in those eyes, he seemed more than content with her answer.

"Think nothing of it. I'm glad to see he seems to be doing much better now with you at his side, just as you are happier with him at yours." He said.

He paused and looked back at the others again, then at her and Flowey, then back to the firepit. His expression then was one of warmth and peaceful resignation, but it also carried noticeable flickers of hope.

"I know things will be messy and strained between many of us for a while yet, but I would like to consider all of us as something of a family, brought together by circumstance... and one very determined young human."

His words hung and then settled on her soul. They were not immediately accepted, as a portion of her hesitations still wished to rear its ugly head, but she did keep the concept there to be thoughtfully considered. The young human in question let out an audible laugh from across the way as GB, with Sans lazily riding on top of him, playfully chased them about. It was an amusing sight of course, but in lieu of Asgore's words, Toriel simply focused on the same feelings of pride she felt for Frisk. Even with all their grievous wrongdoing in the past, they had forged a ideal future for all of monsterkind, a future where all their hopes and dreams could indeed be possible. All of them would always be in debt to them for that... As well as always be at their mercy, given their power to reset at any moment.

But Toriel would not allow herself to dwell on that fear. She truly believed in the vow her child had made to Sans, especially after their emotional response to his HP gain this morning. The love they had for everyone was genuine, and they would never steal that happiness from them again, not after all this. As their mother, she'd help ensure that by providing them all the love she could offer. Them, and the flower monster they cared for so much.

A brief silence stretched between the three again. But it was a comfortable silence this time, one that did not demand to be broken like before. Flowey seemed contented too, curling up in his pot to relax, though notably still listening in. Eventually Toriel was the one to speak up, after watching her dear skeleton for some time. And It was a nagging question that had been on her mind for a while.

"Asgore... have you yet considered... pursuing a new partner as well? Has anyone up here... caught your eye?" She asked, a touch cautiously.

Both Asgore and Flowey seemed surprised at the question, with Asgore in particular blinking back at her before offering a vaguely sheepish smile and running a paw through his beard.

"Haha... well... I know it's been... a very, very long time... But I still don't know if I am quite ready for that yet." He admitted, in a soft tone. "I am getting there though... and there have been a fair few folks, monster... and human, surprisingly... who have asked me. So... perhaps soon. I just need a little more time up here I think... The closure and reconciliation you have offered me will certainly help with that though."

Now it was Toriel's turn to be a touched surprised, mostly at the mention of humans asking him out. The idea of that sent an unbidden pang of unease throughout her soul, admittedly, but she had to admit that it was a good sign in the long run for monster-human relations. She let out a thoughtful hum of consideration at it all before nodding absently.

"I see... Well, I wish you the best with that then." She said in the usual flat tone before a small, teasing sort of smile willed itself up on her face. "And I promise to be nice to them too. Whoever they turn out to be."

That actually made him chuckle, and it was a relief that it felt good to hear it. He looked as though he were going to say something in the same jovial tone back, but then a sudden expression of realization crossed his features.

"Oh, Toriel, forgive me, I nearly forgot again." He said, before quickly turning and fishing something out of his jeans pocket. "I have been meaning to give you this. I should have given it you yesterday, but I am afraid it slipped my mind amongst... everything else going on."

He then handed her what seemed to be a letter of some kind, very official like with a seal stamp and everything. It was also addressed to both her and Asgore in a fancy show of penmanship. She gently took the letter from him and tilted it in the firelight to better make out the words.

"Ebott Historical Preservation Society?" She said, speaking the words as she read them.

The name didn't ring any bells. She looked back at Asgore with a questioning look in her eyes.

"What is this?"

Asgore tried to give a reassuring smile but it still came off a strained. There weren't any tells she could see in his expression to the nature of the letter though, his falterings having more to do with the awkwardness between them than anything else.

"Ah well, I think you should let it be a bit of a surprise for when you get home." He said, purposely vague it seemed. "I was going to open it, but I was told what it contained and it's far more meaningful to you than it is to me. Though it might... well... consume your thoughts if you open it now, and I know you want to spend today focusing on... other things..."

That hint of a teasing glint re-entered his eyes as he said that, and he directed another purposeful glance at Sans. A now all too familiar heat rose up on Toriel's face and she looked away instinctually with a soft huff. She considered that the statement was fair enough, but she still didn't like the idea of him of all monsters goading her like that. Still, she willed herself to give him a nod and thank him before slipping the letter into her purse. There was no way that she wouldn't be partially consumed by curiosity the rest of the evening, but she figured she could follow his advice and wait to open it when she got home.

At that, she considered she'd spoken enough with Asgore for it to count towards progress and politely excused herself. He was happy to accept that and thanked her in turn for her time. Flowey said nothing, but met her gaze with something of an approving look before promptly pulling her ex-husband into a conversation of their own. She was glad for that, feeling guilty enough as it was for her need to step away. At least Asgore would continue to have some company, even if Flowey wasn't always the most pleasant monster to be around.

She decided then to return to Sans and the others, squinting and scanning the increasing darkness for them. She spotted the others sitting and chatting in the grass while Frisk showed Papyrus how to braid and weave flowers into Undyne's long red hair. The fish monster was certainly not the type to usually enjoy such things, but she seemed to be willing to put up with it for the child's sake. The fact that Alphys was snuggled up in her lap and showing her something, likely some anime, on her phone during the process probably helped too. Notably though, Sans was not with them, nor GB for that matter. After a few more moments of searching, she spotted him and his blaster over at the cooler and bags of leftovers. She rolled her eyes with a fondly amused kind of exasperation and walked over to him.

"Are you truly still hungry, my dear?" She asked with a chuckle as she approached him, wearing a teasing sort of smile.

Even if it was a bit silly as to how much a skeleton of all monsters could eat, she found that in light of how little he'd been eating before showing signs of improvement, seeing him regain his large appetite was more of a relief than anything. He turned upon hearing her, indeed with another hotdog in his hand. But this one was slathered in mustard and what looked to be burger bits, not at all his usual choice of topping.

"heh, heya tori." He said to her with a wide smile, before looking at the hot dog in his hand. "its uh... not for me actually. figured i'd give gb a few, since he missed out on them earlier."

True to his word, he held it out to the blaster and GB eagerly, but carefully took it from him and gobbled it up. His jaws moved in a motion similar to chewing and filled with a faint blue glow as the food was burnt up into magical energy. He then purred deeply in gratitude and nuzzled into Sans, prompting the skeleton to give him a pet across the muzzle.

"much better than the ones i used to make, huh pal?" He quipped with a wink. "helps to have real meat instead of water sausages."

He gave GB one more pat before beginning to prep him another hotdog. Toriel decided to sit in the grass beside Sans, fondly watching him work. As he pulled out the bottle of mustard and began lathering it on the hotdog, Toriel couldn't help but question it.

"He likes... mustard?" She asked, as though it were something shocking.

Sans sighed dramatically and nodded, a purposeful look of disappointment on his face. GB just warbled with something like laughter, watching his wielder prepare his next treat with sparkling eyelights.

"yup... truly i failed him somewhere along the line. i'll convert him one of these days." He vowed with another wink.

GB grumbled his dissent, nudging the mustard covered hotdog. Sans sighed again but his eyelights twinkled with good humor as he handed it over. The blaster quickly devoured it just as he had the other. Once finished, he looked up at Sans with what could only be called "puppy dog eyes" and whined plaintively.

"alright... but just one more, buddy." Sans relented with a chuckle.

As he set about preparing the third and final hotdog, he sat down beside Toriel and levitated all the necessary ingredients down with him. He casually leaned against her side as he began coating the last hotdog with mustard. She hummed happily in her throat in response, wrapping an arm lightly around him. Her touch summoned a light dusting of cyan on his cheekbones and made his hand briefly shake a bit as he applied the condiment, but he recovered quickly, apparently quite the hotdog preparing master. As he finished up, Toriel decided to ask a question that felt needed after all the events of the day.  
  
"How are you holding up after everything, my dear?" She asked, lightly rubbing his arm.

He offered her a warm, but clearly tired smile in response, along with a shrug of his shoulders.

"eh, just glad it's all over and _bun_ with, until monday at the school at least." He quipped as he finished and handed the final hotdog to GB.

As the blaster ate, Sans levitated the ingredients back into the bags and then settled more comfortably against Toriel. Another soft sigh left him, but this one was contented, at ease.

"honestly, this all went way better than i expected..." He said, easing his sockets shut.

Toriel smiled at that as her inevitable giggles tapered off, the truth of those words settling over her soul. It made her think back on what Asgore had remarked about all of them, and her eyes briefly swept over everyone, taking in all the happy expressions and close bonds of all kinds being displayed. It allowed her ex-husband's words to find further acceptance within her soul. Not full acceptance, at least in regards to Asgore himself, but enough that she felt confident to say what she did next.

"I _mustard_ say I agree." She quipped back, drawing out the pun in order to get a good chuckle out of him.

It succeeded and once the bit of joviality passed, she went on in a more genuine tone.

"It really has. We are... so very blessed to have such a wonderful family."

The impact of those words was not lost on her dear skeleton, and he promptly re-opened his sockets and looked up at her. There wasn't much surprise in his gaze, and what little there was faded away rather quickly, replaced by a warmth that made his eyelights shine brightly within their sockets. It was an idea he too was hesitant to fully accept, but for very different reasons. And it was notable that they both were able to at least mostly allow the sentiment in that moment. 

"yah, you said it." He agreed with a nod.

He was quiet again for a few moments, blush reappearing as he seemed to be debating something with himself. From behind him, GB gave an amused, rumbling purr and gave him a nudge towards Toriel with his muzzle. Sans turned to shoot the blaster a flat look over his shoulder, only for GB to nudge him again with a more insistent little grumble. He sighed and his blush deepened as he forced himself to look back up at her. Without saying anything he got up on his knees and slowly laid his hand against her cheek, phalanges slipping through the soft white fur there. Toriel had been purposely, perhaps playfully, waiting for him to make the move. It was clear what he wanted, but she wished to encourage him to be more bold in pursuing things like this.

When she gave him a cheerful wink of approval, he let out a breathless little chuckle before gently pulling her face down to meet his own. She moved to cup his cheekbone with a paw in turn, holding him close. The kiss then felt special in a different way than before. He seemed to focus some magic behind it, and it met her lips where they touched his teeth. It was an interesting sensation, something akin to static electricity perhaps, mixed with a warmth that drew her in deeper. Perhaps this was the usual way skeletons showed this kind of affection? She got the feeling that it was showing itself now that his confidence was growing, though she couldn't necessarily be sure of that. Whatever the case, she enjoyed it immensely, and the sensation continued to leave her lips faintly tingling once they pulled apart again.

Their little display did not go unnoticed, and that didn't just apply to GB, who was purring louder than ever and attempting to nuzzle them both at once. Once reality crept back in through the happy haze, they quickly noticed all the amused and enthralled expressions looking their way. At that point though, they were just giddy enough to not really pay them much mind. They did grin at Undyne, who, likely seeing their display of affection as a challenge of sorts, promptly planted a far more passionate kiss on Alphys' lips. Toriel had long since given up on trying to make them not do such things in front of Frisk, at least not so... aggressively, and could only sigh at the sparkly eyed expression her child had on their face as they watched the display. She had to concede victory to the other couple though, in Undyne's perceived game at least, but that was fine with her. She got the feeling she and Sans were right at the level they were meant to be, even if Undyne would likely call them "weenies" for it.

She and Sans kept bright smiles on their faces as Toriel scooped him up in another show of dramatics and carried him back to sit by the fire. Everyone soon joined them again, and they all spent the rest of their time together partaking in the warm, and admittedly, familial atmosphere. To have such a big family, a new love to call her own, and far less old weight and grudges to weigh her down. It was more than Toriel ever dreamed she could have during her time languishing away alone in the Ruins. And right then, she was sure it was a new life that would last.

But all the while, thoughts of that letter from before prodded at the edges of her mind. For the moment, the letter would keep whatever apparently surprising information it carried a secret, and Toriel could only hope that what it contained wasn't something that she should be worried about when the time came to open it.

 


	26. Switch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *wheeze* I did it. This semester continues to be hell, but I'm powering through it. That on top of my computer's demise has put a dent in a lot of my creative endeavors, but writing this fic always helps. Especially when you have good friends who make playlists to inspire you (you know who you are ;D) Hope you all enjoy, we start an anticipated arc with this chapter~ >:3c 
> 
> ((Warnings: light mentions of death/murder)) 
> 
> ((Also, figures I had to finish this on the night AO3 is hecking up right? >_>))

By the time all agreed that it was time to head home for the night, everyone was rather exhausted. Much of it was the good kind of exhaustion that came with a day full of joyful revelations. But everything else had a hand in draining everyone as well. The past few days had been full of emotions of all kinds. So much had changed, so many steps had been taken, making Toriel almost feel as though she were entering a new world again, like when monsterkind had first been freed a year ago. After spending that century alone in the Ruins where nothing changed as the decades crept by, such a barrage of… newness… was almost overwhelming. But if she could endure the revelation of all the terrible truths Sans had shared with her, she could endure this too, no problem. Quite happily in fact.

Her soul still burned so brightly, so full of vivacity and warmth that she dared to believe that flame would remain there for a long, long time. Those sensations fueled her joyful smile as she walked home, carrying her dear sleepy skeleton in her arms. He and Frisk both dozed off as things began to wind down back at the firepit, as the flames themselves within the circle of stones burned low. She had gone to scoop up Frisk and by extension Flowey whose pot was wrapped up in their arms, intending to let Papyrus carry his brother as he usually did. But the younger skeleton seemed oddly insistent on carrying the two children himself. Well, perhaps she shouldn't see such things as "odd" anymore, for the reason behind the act was more than obvious, especially considering the teasing grin that accompanied it. She hadn't put up much of an argument either, just rolled her eyes with an amused and slightly exasperated grin.

Still, she couldn't deny she was happy to have Sans nestled in her arms like this. In the past, she'd only carried him when the situation demanded it, like when he was inebriated or ill. But now, there were no negative connotations hanging over the action. She could hold him in her arms for the simple sake of it, without worrying about his well being. It was another one of those little things she was excited to know would likely become normal for them in a short time. He seemed so at ease too, and she hoped it was a sign he'd sleep well again tonight. Toriel herself may be denied that luxury for quite some time, but if dealing with these nightly visions of timelines and memories long lost to her was the price she had to pay for her dear skeleton to heal, she'd accept it without question.

Thoughts ran through her head though, about how she should consider just how serious her situation was. With the massive headaches and potentially endless stream of memories she could be subjected to for stars knows how long. But she was still too stubborn to let go of her newfound wellspring of happiness yet. Surely she could return to her worrisome self later. Just let her enjoy this bliss for a little while longer… Did she not at least deserve that? _He_ certainly deserved it at least.

With effort, she pushed the thoughts down again, letting the soft pulses from Sans' soul pull her attention back to him instead. She willfully kept her mind focused on that and similarly positive thoughts for the rest of the way home.

When she did finally open the door to the house and step aside to let Papyrus and ever accompanying dog in, she paused briefly in the entryway, pondering what she should do next. It was fairly late, and she should get the children into bed, but what to do with Sans then? He looked so comfortable, the dear, that she would feel bad waking him. But he needed to if he was to properly get prepared for bed. That thought began to stir some realization in her, something she should have realized, but it was interrupted as Papyrus spoke up from beside her.

"COME NOW FRISK, TIME TO WAKE UP." The skeleton twittered, in a voice that was at least attempting to be soft. "YOU CAN SLEEP AGAIN SOON, BUT YOU MUSTN'T NEGLECT YOUR BEDTIME RITUALS!"

Her child began to stir then, mumbling softly before their soft brown eyes opened to blink drowsily up at Papyrus.

"About time you woke up." Flowey chided from his place in their arms, though his voice gave away his own sleepiness.

Even with the rude tone, that still caused Frisk to smile lightly and reach out a hand to lightly boop the flower monster where his nose would be. Flowey hissed and made an over the top terrifying face in retaliation, but everyone seemed to get the idea that it was more out of dramatics than anything else. Frisk and Papyrus both laughed at the display as the skeleton set the child down on their feet.

"OH FLOWERY, YOU ARE SO VERY SILLY." Papyrus said, grinning widely. "I'M SO VERY GLAD WE ARE FRIENDS."

The flower monster glared up at him for a few moments, before shifting his face again to make it resemble Papyrus'.

"Oh Flowery, I'm so very glad we're friends." He repeated back in a mocking, sarcastic tone.

Again though, his performance only brought more amused laughter and Flowey shifted his face back to his usual irritated scowl. As the three continued to banter a bit, Toriel followed Papyrus' example and set about waking Sans up as well. She shifted him in her arms and lightly nuzzled his cheekbone.

"Come now dear, wake up." She said, just loud enough to ensure she'd be heard. "We are home now."

She could tell it was working, but Sans was certainly not someone who woke up easily, dangerous situations notwithstanding. He moved a bit and let out a sleepy sort of groan before turning into her to hide his face more. She found the gesture amusing and endearing, but she would not let him get out of this that easily. She promptly slid both arms under his own and let his legs fall and hang. They swung once and then dangled there. Then sure enough, the rush of gravity was enough to make him open his eye sockets a bit. But just a bit.

"mmm…. wha?" Sans mumbled, giving a few sluggish blinks.

Toriel giggled softly, before brushing her muzzle against the side of his skull again.

"We are home, my dear." She repeated. "You fell asleep down by the firepit, I did not wish to wake you then, so I carried you back."

He blinked a few times, the words seemingly taking a bit to work through his drowsy mind.

"oh…" He replied simply, before letting out an impressive yawn. "thanks t… hope the others aren't sore at me for not… saying goodbye and all."

"It was my pleasure dear." She assured him, keeping her amused tone as she gently set him on his feet. "And do not worry, they certainly seemed to know to expect that with you."

Sans chuckled lightly in response, before letting out another yawn and scratching idly at where his undershirt met his collarbone. He was surprisingly steady on his feet despite his sleepiness, but given that this was the same skeleton that occasionally fell asleep standing up, she supposed that shouldn't be surprising.

"true." He agreed, finally turning to look at Papyrus and the others.

Papyrus regarded his brother with a fond smile rather than his usual dramatized disdain for Sans' lazy behavior. Typically falling asleep and having to be carried home was worthy enough of a Papyrus lecture, but the younger skeleton seemed willing to spare Sans of that for tonight. He simply strut over and leaned down to wrap Sans in a quick, but meaningful hug.

"GOODNIGHT BROTHER, I LOVE YOU." He said, squeezing him tight. "TODAY WAS A GOOD DAY. I HOPE WE CAN HAVE MORE OF THOSE."

Sans seemed a touch surprised by that, the words obviously hitting him hard. But he was happy to return the hug, and held his brother tightly for a few moments before replying.

"yah…" He agreed simply, but that was all that was needed. "night bro, love you too."

With that, the brothers separated with another lingering look. Then both smiled warmly and Papyrus bid Toriel, Frisk and Flowey goodnight before heading for his room. Frisk had walked over to her during the skeleton brothers' exchange and sleepily leaned against her, prompting her to lightly stroke their head with a paw. She wanted nothing more than to pick them up, but that would likely send them right back to sleep again. So instead she gently took their tiny hand in her own large paw, just like she had that day she first met them in the Ruins. Well… what she perceived as their first meeting anyway. She looked over at Sans as she did so.

"Goodnight Sans." She said, giving him a purposeful wink as she did. "Love you."

Sans caught on to the hidden meaning behind her words and light blush rose on his face along to match his flustered grin. He glanced away briefly, a soft chuckle escaping him.

"heh heh, night tori and uh… l-love you too…"

That last part came out as a bit of a stutter, the word still carrying a great weight to it. It was only the second time he'd said it out loud to her, after all. She had felt a similar rush of stirred emotion when she'd spoken it, but clearly she was still better at controlling such emotions than he was. Frisk's pleased giggle and Flowey's subsequent groan certainly did not help things in his case. In an effort to spare him, she began to guide her child towards their room then. She met Sans' gaze one last time over her shoulder as they walked, bidding him only a temporary farewell. He gave an amused little wave and a wink of his own before disappearing in a flash of blue light.

With that, she finally got Frisk and Flowey into their room and had them begin getting ready for bed. In Flowey's case, that required little more that giving him a fresh watering and setting him in place on Frisk's side table. But Frisk themself had a fair few more things to do, all at the expected sluggish pace one would expect of a sleepy child. As they went into the bathroom and Toriel finished up with Flowey's watering can, she heard a sudden clamor come from somewhere else in the house.

"AUGH YOU MEDDLESOME CANINE! BRING THAT BACK THIS INSTANT!" Papyrus' unmistakable and quite angry voice broke the established calm that had settled over the household.

A crashing sound followed, and Toriel winced a bit. She turned back to Flowey with a sheepish smile.

"I will uh… be right back, my child."

Flowey just rolled his eyes and nodded, settling in his pot. She then promptly left the room to ensure Papyrus and the dog didn't potentially cause any more calamity. It took a bit to settle the situation she found. Long story short, the dog had snatched up Papyrus' scarf and had somehow gotten himself up on top of the curtain rods. How that was physically possible… Toriel didn't know, but she had come to expect things like this from the mysterious canine. Eventually they both managed to coax the dog down by way of Papyrus offering him a ladder of bones to walk on. With each bone the dog hopped to, he'd grab the one behind him in his mouth, leading to him having nearly a dozen of them in his jaws by the time he reached the bottom. Papyrus promptly took his scarf back with a huff and Toriel left the dog to joyfully chew on his new collection of bones.

By the time she returned to her childrens' room, she expected with a pang of guilt that they may already be asleep. Instead though, the sound of Flowey talking to Frisk met her ears as she approached. The door was also shut, odd since she definitely didn't do that herself when she left. She listened in by instinct, her powerful ears able to pick up on the words despite the hushed tone of Flowey's voice, but what she heard made her stop in her tracks.

"So… what? You want me to just tell her?" Flowey asked, sounding angry and even a bit… sad? "You know as well as I do she'd be a total broken mess if I did that. She and everyone else are finally happy again, isn't that what you wanted? No one needs to know, it would just make them all miserable."

Her breath caught in her throat and her soul suddenly felt chilled. Stars above, what were they talking about? Was the "she" in question… her? It had to be. She got the feeling then that this was something she was certainly not meant to hear. But she couldn't make herself step away, feeling abruptly rooted to the spot. Sans had mentioned so many times that he couldn't tell her Flowey's background, always with that deeply weighty look full of pain for her sake. Was that what her children were discussing?

She should leave, this wasn't the way it was meant to happen, surely. But she did not. She was sick of all this constant deception towards her. Sick of the pitying looks, the endless lies, and the vague hints of yet another great secret being kept from her. One that no doubt  _involved_  her directly somehow. While this might not be the ideal way to find out the truth, it may be the  _only_ way. Without even thinking about it she held her breath and listened closely, one ear perked up.

"What… makes you say that?" Flowey asked in response to something Frisk must have signed.

He sounded a bit nervous now, but also rather intrigued. Another pause followed, and she cursed her inability to see through walls.

"Well… maybe she does, maybe she doesn't. Who knows?" Flowey replied after a moment, and she could practically picture the mocking sort of wink with his tongue poking out that he often displayed. "Did you really think she and the others would never figure it out, especially with Sans being the way he is? It wouldn't be that surprising if he eventually cracked and spilled the beans to her or someone else right?"

Anger and distress flared up in Toriel's chest by reactive instinct. She should had known better than to trust he wouldn't tell Frisk about her knowing eventually. Though from the phrasing of his first response, her child seemed to suspect something already. Still, his betrayal of that stung and she was going to have some quite choice words for him when she could get a moment alone with him. Despite the existential fear of the looming threat of the Resets creeping back into her soul, she kept on listening, utterly frozen.

"Are you worried they will all hate you if they find out?" Flowey continued, a hint of cruel curiosity to his tone. "Would that be enough to make you Res-" 

"NO!"

The sudden outright shout from Frisk made her flinch somewhat. It wasn't all that loud, given how hoarse and scratchy their voice was from disuse, but the fact they'd spoken at all and _raised_ their voice no less was shocking enough.

"I… w-won't R-reset." Her child declared in a resolute, nearly tearful tone. "N-not ever… again…  _ever_."

To hear that sentiment out loud from them was enough to make Toriel feel vaguely light headed with all the emotion summoned forth. She had yet to hear Frisk actively acknowledge their role in the Resets until now. She had known it was all true, but perhaps there had still been one small part of her that clung to her child's innocence. That part was certainly shattered now. That combated with the immense relief she felt to hear Frisk's undoubtable commitment to not Resetting, leaving her soul sickly churning with conflicting emotion. There was no time to dwell on it now. Flowey was speaking again, she had to listen.

"Fine, fine." The flower monster conceded, tone ever casual. "And I'm not arguing with that. I sure as hell don't want to go back to that dark, boring ol Underground. Especially when things are getting so... interesting."

He paused after speaking that last word, as though not sure of it. But he moved on again quickly enough.

"I'm just saying, if we do tell her about me, and especially if you think she knows something about all our little timeline shenanigans already, it's gonna really mess up everything that you've helped established here. Is that really worth the risk to you?"

Silence met the flower monster's question and Toriel could only assume that Frisk had returned to signing their answers. Eventually, Flowey heaved an irritated sigh.

"You really are an idiot sometimes, Frisk." He grumbled, in a quieter voice she could only just catch. It strengthened as he continued.

"Well, if we did theoretically tell her about me, then we'd have to mention  _them_  too, you know that right?"

There was another slip into silence, and Toriel didn't have time to wonder what Frisk was signing when her child suddenly spoke up again.

"I know, and… I am okay with that at this point."

The magic within Toriel's body went ice cold at that. That… wasn't her child's voice. Well it was but, there was another voice layered over it. Frisk's gravelly weak voice was undercut by a far more clear, different voice. It was if two people were speaking at once. And that wasn't the most distressing thing… That voice… she knew that voice… how did she know that voice? It stabbed at her soul and made her head spin all at once. She knew it, she  _certainly_  knew it, but it was like her mind was rejecting her attempts to make sense of it. It was familiar but still somehow alien, like hearing a beloved song playing from a busted up radio. It didn't help that the two voices speaking over each other made it a struggle to even differentiate between the two. But by the stars,  _who the hell was that?!_

Then something Sans had told her rose up in her mind again, something he had told her that night he'd finally shared information about the Resets. He'd said…

" _there's something in the k-kid's head tori… something that talks to them… i… i… can't explain it but they aren't… alone… i think it's why they had an easier time getting through the underground than the others…"_

Was that what was happening here? She hadn't given that bit of info the thought it deserved, lost to everything else that had reshaped her entire worldview. But now that the idea was back in her mind… It took all her strength then not to bust down the door and race into her children's room to find out just what was happening. But somehow, she forced herself to remain in place and keep listening, pupils mere pinpricks in her ruby red eyes.

"Oh!" Flowey reacted in surprise to the strange new dual voice as well, but not nearly as much as she had.

"H-hey… didn't notice you uh… switched haha…" He said, sounding rather nervous. "Do you… really mean that? You know she'll flip out right? I've seen it before, plenty of times. And what about D-"

The strange double voice interrupted whatever Flowey was about to say, not leaving Toriel any time to wonder what he meant by "switched."

"We'll tell everyone else too, including him. But we'll tell her first." The voice said, still chilling in its delivery. "It's worth trying at least once."

Another heavy sigh came from Flowey, carrying with it his obvious irritation and hesitation towards the idea. But for some reason, he seemed unwilling to argue with whoever this other voice belonged to.

"Fine, whatever… How do you want to do this?" He asked, with his usual sour attitude.

The dual voice wasted no time in answering, and though it was very difficult to tell with its discordant quality, Toriel thought it sounded a bit nervous now as well.

"We can figure that out later." It said, sharply. "Now shut up, it's quiet out there now, she'll be coming back soon."

Toriel flinched again at that, immediately holding her breath. She had to move, she had to… do...  _something_. They couldn't know she was listening in, and the silence would surely be suspicious. It took her a moment to get her frozen mind moving again, but she slowly made herself begin stepping backwards to the start of the hallway. It felt like the action was happening on autopilot, but she managed to keep her footsteps soft and gentle enough on the carpeted hallway that they hopefully went undetected. She paused then at the end of the hall, mind in a whirl.

No, she had to calm down. She had to calm down and face them as if nothing had happened. Oh stars, that was easier said than done, especially as panicked thoughts were practically eating away at her more rational ones as they appeared. Eventually her mind drifted to Sans. He did things like this all the time, sad as that may be. He somehow was able to empty his mind and plaster on that fake grin to get through any situation. For this situation, she may just have to betray her personal values and try and emulate that side of him.

So she focused on clearing her mind, pushing all her thoughts and emotions down… down… as deeply as she could manage. It was a bit like trying to shove a vicious animal into a cage though, as her frantic feelings fought and tore at her the whole way. But after some time, it seemed to work. She felt… numb, like she was sleepwalking, or like she was experiencing one of her returned memories, where she was only a detached witness to everything happening around her. Her head was full of nothing but the most basic of thoughts. It was an unnerving thing to do to herself, but she might as well try and sustain it to get through this.

She began back down the hallway, this time purposefully making sure her footfalls had enough force behind them to be heard. Once she reached the door, she pulled it open before any hesitation could set in again and took in the scene before her. Flowey was still curled up in his pot where she'd left him on the side table, and Frisk was sitting on their bed under the blankets, looking over at her with their usual neutral expression. There was no sign of anything off with her child, except for maybe a hint of nervousness. Their eyes were also the usual soft brown color. She wasn't sure… why she felt the urge to check that… Perhaps it had something to do with how Frisk's eyes had looked in that first memory she'd relived… where they'd killed her. But that didn't seem to be the driving reason behind her actions. It was something else… something like what had happened the previous night with Flowey…. something...

No, she couldn't slip back into that. She had to focus and keep up this ruse until she had bid them goodnight. She had managed to get a fake, but hopefully convincing pleasant look on her face, and did her best to maintain it as she finally spoke up.

"Sorry my dears, the dog ran off with Papyrus' scarf. I had to help him out of that  _ruff_ situation." She said, adding a pun to potentially make her attempt at normalcy seem more believable.

It seemed moderately successful, as Flowey gave an irritated grumble from his pot and Frisk's face gained a light smile. So far so good… Just like when she'd had to hide her knowledge of the Resets from them before. She just had to keep it up, even if all the lies and deception only made the sick feeling in her soul worsen.

"Are you two all set for bed?" She asked, walking over to her child's bedside.

Frisk nodded, relaxing further at the apparently convincing nature of her performance. Their smile grew more into their usual one, and it made her realize with a pang in her soul just how easily her child had been lying to her all this time. Especially concerning these little chats with Flowey and… whoever or  _what_ ever else that was, which she was now sure were not unusual occurrences. It was not a new realization, but it hurt all the same. Just how truly deep and tangled was this inordinate web of lies?

Despite it all, the rest of the usual bedtime ritual went without incident. She simply tucked Frisk into bed and gave them their goodnight kiss before going to Flowey and doing the same. The flower monster oddly took the gesture without much defiance this time. And he gave her a long, vaguely heavy look before curling up as he usually did, one that made it harder than ever to keep a straight face. The confrontational questions had burned in her chest, wanting more than anything to escape her. But she kept them down along with everything else, leaving it all coiling into a hot ball inside her.

She bid them goodnight and then began the arduous journey back to her room. Her limbs felt heavy, as if the weight of all she'd suppressed was pulling down on her. Though her trudge through the house was slow, it somehow felt like mere moments before she was suddenly in front of the door to her room. She blinked, startled by this, before she composed herself with a shake of her head. All that emotion was beginning to rise back inside her. The panic for her children's safety, the fear of whatever was sharing headspace with Frisk that spoke in that strange yet terribly familiar voice, the dread of just  _what_ Flowey, Frisk and that other... presence… planned to tell her.

Knowing that they indeed planned to reveal the truth to her was a relief of sorts… But how long would it take for that to happen, and could she really force herself not to confront them about it before they did? By the stars, her child was being…  _possessed_  by something?! How could she keep calm about that, how could she not confront them?! Her soul was stirring wildly inside her, when a sudden soft voice quieted her mind's chaos.

"tori…?"

The voice was so soft, it was a wonder she'd heard it at all. Again, whilst in the grip of her thoughts, she'd apparently gone ahead and opened the door. Her eyes fell upon Sans, already all nestled up in her large bed like he'd been sleeping there his whole life. He had lifted his skull a bit to look at her, eye sockets open a mere crack, and the flicker of eyelights within hazy. He was only just barely clinging to wakefulness, the dear, even after all the napping he'd already done. It was something so very  _him_ , that it brought back a spark of warmth to her soul. Perhaps in her sort of trance, she had been drawn towards him by instinct, knowing that even the mere sight of him would help to settle her nerves.

She let that impulse direct her, driving her to shut the door behind her, turn off the light, cross the short distance to the bed and climb onto it. Once at his side, her mouth opened to spill out everything in a panicked rush, but then she hesitated and slowly shut it again. Sans looked so… happy, sleepily blinking up at her from under the blankets. She had almost forgotten just how happy he'd been today, all the fantastic signs of improvement he'd displayed. Though her mind fiercely pushed her to get out the words, she found she simply couldn't. She couldn't take away that peaceful joy on his features, not after it had taken so much for him to finally achieve it. Today had been such a good day for him, just like had Papyrus had said. For it to have to end like this, once again being thrust into the sources of his despair, would be...

No... no she wouldn't do it. Not now at least. She couldn't and wouldn't keep this information from him, but she could at least let him go to sleep tonight with all his joyful bliss intact. It was another hypocritical betrayal of her own values, but she was prepared to accept that in this case.

" _Just for one more night… Let him have this for just one more night…"_ She thought, perhaps begging some unknown deity.

"tori?" He murmured her name again and began to weakly try to sit up this time.

Toriel's paw was quickly there to gently stop him, easing him back against the pillows again. Then she laid down beside him, wrapping an arm snugly around his small form.

"Shhh…" She shushed him, glad to hear her tone was remarkably steady. "I am here now, my dear. Just go on to sleep, alright?"

He made a sort of questioning sound, but couldn't resist nuzzling into her and weakly returning her embrace then it seemed. Her natural warmth and soothing presence certainly aided in that. He pressed his face into the fur on her neck, and after a moment, let out a contented sort of hum.

"o…kay…" He mumbled, any signs of suspicion lost to warm bliss and sleepiness. "nigh'… t…"

He paused, and she thought he had already slipped into sleep, before he offered two more words, just above a whisper.

"lov' you…"

Somehow, even though it was far more quiet and slurred with drowsiness, it struck her even harder than when he'd said it before. There were suddenly tears brimming in her eyes, but they seemed to come from no single emotion, or perhaps all of them at once. A single one slipped into the fur on her face as the last of her forced numbness slipped away.

"I love you too, Sans…"

This time, there was no humor to her tone, only the deepest sincerity she could offer.

Sleep claimed her dear skeleton shortly after that. But the same reprieve would not come to her tonight. Even with the comfort of his soul's soothing presence, her mind couldn't stop spinning through ceaseless, panicked thoughts regarding what had happened with her children… and that strange other voice… Her wide eyes stared blankly into the darkness of her room, the only light being supplied by the small night light in the bathroom. The darkness only fueled the further spiral of her thoughts, to the point she wondered if Sans would wake from the internal distress of her soul alone. Eventually she found yet another troubling thing to consider, outside the situation with her children.

Her eyes were drawn to where her purse lay on the end of the bed, right where she'd tossed it in her haste to talk to Sans. Something still dwelled inside it that demanded her attention… the letter Asgore had given her. She had planned to open it as soon as she put the children to bed… but now…

No, she wouldn't do it tonight. It would just be too much. If whatever it contained was something painful or distressing, she honestly wasn't sure she could deal with it on top of all this. Hell, even if it was something good, she was in nowhere near the right state of mind to properly address it. It would continue to keep its contents a secret for now, whatever they may be… If only for her own sake. Stars, she had certainly fallen into a dire state rather quickly, had she not? To think, she'd been so happy today too…

Now here she was, lying in bed still in her day clothes, fangs unbrushed, fur a mess, and filled to the brim with stress. Stars, Papyrus was right. She really was becoming more like Sans had been, wasn't she? It mattered not… She could just make sure to handle those things in the morning… She'd handle everything in the morning. She'd open the letter in the morning, she'd talk to Sans in the morning, he'd know what to do. He had endured things like this… far worse than this even, on a heartbreakingly frequent basis. She couldn't be impulsive, not with something like this. She just couldn't. She would wait until morning, talk to Sans, and everything would be fine… Everything would be fine…

Those words seemed to be fueled by the warm magic that came from Sans' soul and met her own. It quieted her paranoia somewhat once more, and restored another flicker of her own soul's warmth. She supposed that was enough for now, and was more grateful to have someone by her side through this than she could put into words. She didn't sleep, but did at least fall into something of a daze after that, trying to keep herself grounded by focusing on the gentle, peaceful pulses of magic from her dear skeleton's soul. It must of worked somewhat, for when a quiet knock on the door suddenly pierced the still silence of the night, she all but jolted out of her half-dozing.

She perked an ear up, blinking wide eyes and not believing what she heard. But then it came again, three small little knocks. Though the number gave away the fact that these knocks were not coming from the usual source, she looked down at Sans by instinct. He was still fast asleep, softly snoring with a peaceful smile on his face. Her mind took a moment to register what was happening, but when it did, she was struck by panic again, but of a very different sort.

The knocking had to have come from Frisk or Papyrus, and in taking past experiences, as well the softness of the knocking itself… she was willing to bet it was Frisk. On top of all that had happened, if they came in here and witnessed the sight of her and Sans sharing a bed… Stars, it only really occurred to her then how that could be potentially viewed. Sans had only begun to do this in an effort to not have to endure his nightmares alone, and then so that they could both get through the wake of his terrible revelation, and all the pain that came with it. But now, things were different. Sans was finally showing the improvement they'd both been hoping for, sleeping through whole nights without incident. Yet, she never once considered ending their little agreement.

And not only that of course… she and Sans were  _together_  now, romantically. She knew it wasn't terribly uncommon for couples to share beds… But she and Sans had just officially taken that step. It was fair to say that at this stage in their relationship, such a thing would be still be seen as… quite scandalous.

She tried to say or do something to stop the inevitable, but it was in vain. Frisk opened the door without knocking again, perhaps thinking Toriel was too deep in sleep to hear them. Quite the contrary, her powerful ears caught each small footfall and shaky breath as they crossed the room towards her bed. The darkness hid their expression, leaving them just a vague, shadowy form approaching her slowly. Her embarrassment at what was potentially going to be said was lost to a momentary spark of fear then. Frisk was alone, so she was fairly sure they weren't here to act on their earlier vow of revealing some secret to her. They wouldn't do so without Flowey. But that spark did bring a flash of the memory of Frisk cutting her down with a knife, and all the agony that came with it. There was one terrible moment where all she could feel upon looking at her child was pure, chilling fear.

"M-mom?" Frisk's terribly hoarse, shaky voice met her ears.

The only emotions it carried were nervousness and fear, not even a hint of malice to be found. All her own fear melted in an instant, burned away by her maternal instinct. She quickly, but gently, disentangled herself from the small skeleton in her arms and sat up on the bed. Sans mumbled softly but did not stir, only rested his skull against her side and gripped lightly at her dress. Frisk did not seem to hear or see any of that, Sans' presence in the bed remaining unnoticed for the moment.

"Yes, my child, I am here." Toriel cooed softly, reaching out a paw to beckon them over. "Come here sweetheart, are you alright?"

Frisk hesitated a moment, and she could hear the soft sound of them sniffling. But then they rushed to her side, reaching their small hands up to grip at her in a silent plea. Toriel wasted no time in gently pulling her child up into her arms, heedless now of any questions regarding Sans it would bring. She held them close and quickly created a small purple flame in one of her paws. With a flick of her wrist, it floated up to hover safely above them, casting the room in a soft, wavering light. Now that they were visible, Toriel took in her child's poor state.

Their eyes were overly bright with the distress she'd heard in their voice, and they were red and puffy as well, a clear sign they'd been crying. Their powerful soul was giving off the same sort of emotions, strong enough to make her shiver slightly. Oh how she desperately wished she was in a better state of mind regarding her children to better address this. No matter what though, she needed to do what she could. Frisk's hands began moving to sign in the newly offered light and she paid close attention, hoping her own unsteady emotions weren't being detected by her child in turn.

(Mom, I had a bad dream… a really bad dream…) They signed shakily, pausing once to give another wet sniffle. (Can I sleep with you tonight?)

Toriel nodded immediately, trying to ignore the pesky bit of embarrassment that wormed its way back through her at the idea. 

"Of course you may, my child." She soothed, tenderly wiping the lingering tears from their eyes with the curve of her finger. "You will just have to… um…"

Her words trailed off and her face heat up slightly as the bed's other occupant began to stir from the noise and light. Or perhaps Frisk's presence had been what began to rouse him. Whatever the case, her child inevitably looked over too, and their eyes widened as they spotted Sans pushing himself up a bit with a sleepy groan.

"tori...?" He mumbled, blinking in an effort to wake himself up. "whuz happenin'… you okay?"

Clearly, what he expected was to find her in the grips of another massive headache after awakening from one of her "dreams." What he was certainly not expecting was to find Frisk there in bed with them, a sight that immediately had him wide awake and flinching backwards. For a moment, all three of them were struck silent as Sans and Frisk just stared at each other. The skeleton's eyelights nearly guttered out for a moment for some dark flash of emotion, but he steadied himself quickly. Only to then become visibly overtaken by a quite different sort of emotion. One that made him begin to sweat and summoned a cyan glow to his cheekbones.

"oh... uh… h-hey kiddo…" He managed after a moment, grin strained as he kneaded the blankets a bit in a nervous motion between his phalanges. "what are... you doing here…?

Toriel mirrored much of Sans' blush as Frisk blinked and slowly looked between her and her dear skeleton. Their face carried a faintly confused expression for a bit, before their eyes began to sparkle and a smile crossed their features. Their fears regarding their apparent nightmare were momentarily banished, it seemed.

(I had a bad dream, so I wanted to sleep with Mom.) They signed, trying and failing to suppress their grin. (What are _you_ doing here, Sans?)

That last question was coupled by a quirked eyebrow from Frisk, certainly not making Sans' situation any easier. Toriel wanted to say something to spare him from having to come up with some explanation, but he surprisingly took the initiative himself.

"well... uh..." He began, eyelights darting away to avoid their gaze.

He paused a moment more and then shrugged his shoulders, doing his best to appear casual. It didn't really work, but the attempt did make him seem more calm than he really was.

"it's the uh... same as you kiddo, heh..." He admitted through something of a sigh. "tori's been uh... helping me out with handling my nightmares for a little while. it's just... y'know... easier to deal with, when she's around... trying to take them on solo was uh... not working out too well, heh."

His eyelights dulled a bit at that, and he finally dared to look back at them. Frisk simply stared at him in return without moving their hands again for a while. Toriel could see a lot of emotions running through their eyes in the flickering firelight. No one lingered long enough for her to grasp fully, but she did recognize a sort of sad understanding as the last one to rest in their expression.

(Yeah, I know what you mean.) They replied, the hand motions slow. (That explains a lot actually...)

They paused, and suddenly they were the one to avoid both hers and Sans' gaze. The child looked down at their lap, wringing their hands a bit as they seemed to consider what else they wanted to say. As they did, Toriel could more clearly see guilt and sadness in their eyes. It wasn't hard for her to imagine why.

(Has it... helped?) Frisk asked as last, gaining the will to regain eye contact with Sans.

The skeleton blinked at that, and he shot a glance at Toriel. Then his smile softened up and his eyelights gained a gentle warmth, making them appear to shimmer in the light of her flame. Despite it all, Toriel found herself returning that expression as much as she could manage. Their gazes lingered a moment more before Sans briefly eased his sockets shut.

"yah kiddo... it definitely has..." He confirmed in a soft voice.

Frisk smiled at that, and it was a soft genuine smile, with no hint of their earlier teasing. Sans smiled back, regaining his more full, playful grin. Though it still betrayed his nervous embarrassment as well. 

"just uh... don't tell my bro bout this... okay?" He implored, shrinking into his hood a bit as sweat dripped down his skull. "i... don't really know how i'd explain it to him... heh..." 

Frisk giggled once, a truly wonderful sound, and nodded in reply while doing the "cross my heart" motion over their chest. Toriel did see a hint of disappointment on their face though, no doubt sad they couldn't share this bit of information with the other person who shared their level of investment in hers and Sans' relationship. When they gave no sign of wishing to speak further, she leaned over and pulled both of them close in a hug. She nuzzled them both individually as well by impulse, a relieved smile on her face. That went far better then she imagined it could. And given the already frayed state of her nerves, she could hardly be more grateful for that.

"Well then, if that is settled... It is rather late you two, we should all try to go back to sleep, should we not?" She asked, before a thought occurred to her and prompted her to look at Frisk with a more sober expression. "Unless... you wish to talk about your nightmare, my child? Would that help you feel better?"

Frisk flinched slightly at that, expression hardening again. For a few moments, they seemed to be considering it. They looked deep into her eyes, and she could practically see the words building up inside them. They wanted to tell her, not just about their apparent nightmare but likely about whatever they'd been discussing with Flowey and that other presence earlier. They swallowed hard and looked at Sans for a moment too, and the pain and guilt she saw in their eyes was answer enough for her, and likely Sans, to know what they'd been dreaming about.

(No... It's okay.) They signed slowly, as they looked down at the bed again. (I would rather just go back to sleep if that's alright...)

Toriel felt her soul give a harsh twinge at that. She wanted nothing more than to reassure her child, tell them that she and Sans knew they weren't that person anymore, that they were loved and trusted. But doing so would blow everything, and be infringing on her promise as well. So her mouth stayed firmly shut, and she settled on gently running her claws through their soft brown hair and pressing a little kiss to their forehead. Conflicted emotions twisted inside her soul, but she kept them down for the moment, for tonight. When the sun came up... She would address all of this with Sans and figure out what to do.

"Very well then, my child." She murmured.

With that, she pulled Frisk into her arm and settled them against her so their head was pillowed on her shoulder. She reached to pull the blankets over them, but a soft blue magical aura did the job for her. She looked to her dear skeleton with a grateful smile. He grinned back at her, and she was so glad to see his lighthearted state was still intact. She looped her other arm more snugly around him and pulled him in to let him settle against her other shoulder. He accepted without question, nuzzling into her neck as his own silent show of gratitude. He also pulled one of her long ears over his eye sockets like a sleeping mask, a little gesture that made a true giggle escape her.

Now she held both her beloved and her child in her arms, all three of their souls sharing and communicating feelings of familiarity. And though concerns and worries regarding both of them continued to swirl about her soul, the warmth their magic offered did help soothe her, more so than before. Having them both here so close to her was wonderful, she couldn't deny that. She closed her eyes as she settled back against the pillows, willing herself to hang onto that bit of calm that had managed to be summoned inside her. She turned to Sans and pressed a small kiss to his forehead, still without opening her eyes. Even without seeing it, she could feel the warm reaction to that from his soul. Then she turned the other way and lightly nuzzled into Frisk's hair.

"Goodnight you two, I hope you both have much sweeter dreams from here on." She said.

Frisk made a soft sound of agreement and Sans chuckled lightly. The humor present in his voice faded a bit as he went on though.

"same to you, t." He murmured.

That brought a pang to her soul, one of gratitude and sadness. Of course he'd feel guilty about her situation because of all this. No matter how unburdened their minds would be in sleep, her own showed no signs of improving any time soon. His care on her behalf stirred her soul and she gave him a little squeeze as a show of thanks. A small thread of fear also wove through her at that thought though. If she did sleep, and have a subsequent vision, how would Frisk react to the aftermath that followed? And more than that... what sort of excuse could she offer for it? They didn't seem to pick up on Sans' somber tone just then, but there was no way they'd miss her wracked with pain from a splitting headache.

Movement from the child in question distracted her from those thoughts. Frisk was reaching over to tap Sans on the shoulder. The skeleton peeked out from beneath her ear to meet the human's gaze. Frisk signed something to him then, but she didn't quite catch the words due to the angle. She did see Sans' reaction though, and his smile stiffened somewhat despite his clear efforts to maintain it.

"uh yah... night kiddo." He replied quietly, before reaching out to ruffle the child's hair.

His hand remained on their head for a few seconds, before he slowly pulled it away. He seemed consumed in thought, but broke out of it with a more genuine smile.

"listen... if you uh... do have any more nightmares... feel free to wake us up y'know? you don't have to deal with it alone... okay?"

That drew both her and her child to look at Sans in surprise. But that surprise only turned to more gratitude from both of them. Especially Frisk, whose powerful soul gave off an unsteady wave that made it seem like they may even begin to cry again. But her child eventually conceded to his words with a weighty nod. Toriel's soul gave another pang though, this time a joyful one. To hear him say something like that, something akin to her own words even, after all of this... It truly showed how far he'd come, and the impact she'd had on him. Her eyes shimmered and she leaned over to give him something of an affectionate headbutt in a wordless show of thanks and overall happiness, a truly traditional boss monster display of affection.

He chuckled fondly at the gesture, and the warm glow in his eyelights told her that he understood the meaning behind it. All of them then settled against her in preparation for a second attempt at sleep for the night. Toriel closed her eyes as well, and snapped two of her fingers. In response, the small flame she'd summoned vanished, returning the room to darkness once more.

Sans fell asleep again with expected quickness, his soft snoring lightly tickling her ear where it laid across his face. Frisk took a little longer to find rest. They tossed and turned for a while, no doubt caught up in a thought spiral of their own. But eventually, especially after Toriel rubbed gentle circles into their back for a while, the child fell asleep. Then she was left alone with her thoughts again. Her opened scarlet eyes stared into the darkness of the room, long enough that she eventually became adjusted to the low light and could see the vague shape of everything around her. With the intrusive worries of her mind rising up again, it made all those shapes look like something sinister lurking in the shadows.

Despite that though, she was better able to relax after a little while. The souls of her loved ones gave off such a peaceful, soothing aura, willing her own soul to follow suit as to harmonize with them. Frisk's especially, given its immense power, overpowered her own magic somewhat. It's warmth steadily eased her own soul into submission and she eventually became convinced she could at least attempt to sleep.

She pushed everything down again, letting it be lost to the magic pulsing around her soul. The incident, the letter, her fears. She let it all flow away, forgotten for the moment, as she eased her eyes shut. She instead cast her thoughts back to all the excitement and joy she'd experienced the past two days. All the precious moments she'd no doubt remember and treasure for the rest of her days. She found that all that warmth was still there in her soul, subdued but not at all destroyed. To access even just a little of it now in her time of stress was more than enough.

So as she lay there, the bottom of quite an unusual, snug pile, wakefulness did slowly began to fade. She just hoped that if she did sleep, her inevitable visions would not involve the child that was sleeping soundly against her. That would not make things any easier upon her inevitable rude awakening, whenever that may be. For all her efforts to ignore the stresses of the day though, one thought did remain within her mind as her subconscious pursued the goal of sleep. Whatever her children had to tell her was something big, something potentially nearly as  devastating as what Sans had revealed to her about the Resets, given how they spoke about it. And the letter, while likely not as serious as that, instilled its own sort of dread in the mystery of what it contained. It was as though someone's hand was hovering over a light switch, primed to flick it and cast something previously dark and lurking in a bright light. Toriel's soul gave off a pang of fear and dread before sleep finally claimed her, wondering just _what_ that light would reveal. 


	27. Distractions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gasp! I am alive! Sorry about vanishing for a while there, the terrible beast known as real life came to swallow me up and all of my time especially. I am graduating from college soon and inevitably I had to focus on that more than anything else. But I finally found time to finish this chapter~ I fully intend to finish this fic, even if it might take me longer than I'd like. Especially since I have gotten to the final two arcs at this point. Thanks for being patient with me. Hopefully this fairly long chapter will satiate you for a while. ^^
> 
> (Warnings for this chapter: Nothing major)

Toriel's expected dream that night was particularly odd. Odd and short. She was back in the Ruins again as usual, this time sitting beside Chara's grave and watering the golden flowers there. She could feel the sun on her fur from that single hole in the mountain roof that allowed it in. That single hole that each and every human child fell from. When full awareness set in, the Toriel inside watched in a decidedly detached manner, now quite used to how these things went. All she could do while it lasted was watch and try to understand what she was seeing.

At first, nothing about the memory seemed to jump out at her. She was just watering the flowers that grew on her child's grave, something that had been a part of her daily routine in the Ruins. It gave no clues as to what time this memory took place in, nor as to what reason it had to be returning to her now. Anxiety swirled through her as she waited for something terrible or otherwise distressing to happen. But for a while, all her dream self did was water flowers, all the while humming that ancient lullaby. Chara always did love that song…

Her thoughts drifted into those bittersweet memories for a few moments before something finally caught her, and her dream self's attention.

"Why do you do this?" A familiar voice asked, one that shot a cold feeling of unease through the Toriel observing.

Her dream self turned to spot Flowey looking up at her from amongst the other, notably faceless, golden flowers. His expression was dull and vaguely annoyed as he gestured at her and all the other flora with a leaf.

"It's pointless you know. Even if you water them, they will all still die someday. Some of them will probably die for no reason even if you  _do_  water them. It's stupid. Why bother? Why do you care?" His small mouth shifted into a sneer. "This won't bring your dead kid back."

The words hurt, but the pain wasn't as sharp as Toriel was expecting, and not just the one observing. It suggested that this instance of herself was also used to hearing such biting remarks on a regular basis. So there had been other timelines where she and Flowey interacted on at least neutral terms, going by the lack of fear her dream self felt while looking upon the flower monster at least. Toriel was honestly unsure how to feel about that.

"I know that Flowey." She said quietly after a few moments, turning back to water another flower. "I do this because it makes me happy to keep their resting place beautiful, full of the flowers they loved. It brings me comfort, and helps me still feel close to them."

Her paw ghosted forward to gently cradle one of the flowers and rub a soft golden petal between the pads of her fingers.

"They are from the surface, just like my child was. They have little chance of surviving down here in the darkness unless taken in and looked after."

Her eyes softened with a mixture of emotions, and she lightly smoothed out the petal before watering the dirt below it.

"Someone has to take care of these flowers." She said simply, before turning back to Flowey. "It is okay if you do not understand, things like this are... difficult to explain, my child."

Flowey's expression darkened at that, where it had been at least bored and neutral previously. The flower monster's beady eyes narrowed and his sharp teeth flashed in the sunlight from above.

"I told you not to call me that." He all but growled.

The dream Toriel winced slightly and looked down again, smile falling.

"Ah yes, my apologies. I did not… mean to imply anything. It is just an old habit of mine to call children that." She tried to explain, tapping her claws anxiously on the handle of the watering can.

"I know. It's pathetic." Flowey shot back, unwavering in his apparent disgust.

Silence stretched between the two after his icy remark, and while the dream Toriel contemplated how reasonably reprimand him for his behavior, the Toriel inside simply watched the flower monster intently. The anger and odium in his eyes continued to build, until his gaze seemed to sear a hole straight through to her soul. But beyond that, there seemed to be a touch of something akin to sadness there too. It all demanded both Toriel's attention to be firmly placed back on him. He didn't speak for a few moments, just continued glaring fiercely. But then he finally deflated somewhat, sinking down a bit among his fellow flowers.

"You really don't know who I am… do you?" He asked in a dark tone. "After all this time... you still can't figure it out..."

The words hung for a few moments, as both Toriels grappled with the confusion his words brought. The Toriel inside was less shocked to hear that from him though, especially after the night's events in the waking world. Her curiosity and frustration burned inside her as she hoped that perhaps this memory would finally reveal what huge secret about his apparent identity Flowey had been keeping. Her dream self simply worried her lip with her fangs and slowly shook her head.

"I… I am sorry Flowey, I do not know… any more than you have told me at least." She said, before attempting something of a smile and setting the watering can down. "Would you be willing to tell me?"

Flowey let out a bark of humorless laughter, carrying a hint of the insidious cackle that the flower monster was now well known for. Once it stopped, he regarded her with a dull expression, but one that still carried a spark of malice and disgust in his eyes.

"You don't deserve to know if you can't see it for yourself,  _idiot_." He spat, the last word coming out especially venomous. "I should have known coming back here was a waste of time. You really never change, and you never will."

Toriel in the dream flinched slightly at the words, confusion rising anew. The Toriel observing though, she could understand what he was talking about, and it made her soul feel heavy inside her. He had said something similar to her before, albeit to the opposite effect. Now that conversation felt like it had been something of a sequel, even a conclusion to the one she was witnessing now. Still, witnessing this still brought a great pang of mixed emotions to her soul, and even more so for the Toriel in the dream.

"Forget this, have fun rotting away in here. I'm going to go have some fun." Flowey snapped after another painful period of silence from Toriel.

And with that, the flower monster turned away and pulled down into the soil, disappearing before she could even blink. Then Toriel was alone amongst the faceless golden flowers, draped in the Ruins' usual empty silence. She just stared at the spot Flowey had vanished from for a moment, then her trance was broken as pain and realization lanced through her. The Toriel inside sorrowfully watched as her dream self shakily touched the ground there.

"W-wait… wait please… do not… go…" She rasped weakly, paws trembling. "It is not s-safe for a child to…"

She trailed off back into silence and then began weeping softly, as memories and the crushing loneliness of her self imposed prison began bearing down on her once more. It became clearer to the Toriel observing then what had happened here. Even though Flowey had no doubt been a terrible companion, there had been a point in her despairing exile, where she would have happily taken that over nothing. Flowey had taken advantage of that in this timeline, and decided to play as nice as possible in order to toy with her for a while, perhaps to learn what the "crazy lady of the Ruins" was really like. He did say he had experienced everything the Underground had to offer after all, coupled with the memories she'd regained of him killing her so many times and his previous ability to reset the world at will, she could believe it.

But she couldn't get the hurt that had been in his voice out of her mind. He hadn't sounded amused or mildly curious about her words and actions, he'd seemed personally upset by them. Why? Why did he care at all? She didn't understand… But now at least, given what she'd overheard her children vow to do, perhaps she would soon. The dream was already ending, blessedly short and tame in comparison to the others. Still, her soul ached for this instance of herself, even as the sorrow she'd been sharing with her faded.

" _You will not be alone forever…"_ She thought, as though she could hear her. " _There is a brighter future for you and all of monsterkind. Keep an ear out for a knock on your door. Trust me on that. And especially be ready to greet a certain determined human child when they fall down. Things will be better someday… just you wait…"_

Those thoughts made her feel a little better as wakefulness began to set in again. That was countered however by the expected splitting headache that came as she stirred awake. As usual, it left her curled up and weakly groaning in moments, claws digging into her forehead. By the stars, it somehow felt as though it hurt even  _worse_  than the others. She couldn't think or perceive anything for a few moments as images flashed through her mind in tandem with the spikes of pain. If these episodes didn't send her mind into such chaos every time, perhaps what she was seeing would register, would make her realize something. But as it was, they were just too drowned out by the roaring pain for them to have any real meaning. It could have just been her imagination, but she dared to think this headache lasted longer than the others. She felt every individual agonizing second tick by before the pain finally began to ease.

It was only then that she heard Sans' voice, speaking to her in that same gentle, comforting tone as before. Then she recognized the feeling of his arms around her head, lightly sweeping his phalanges through her fur. It was the sensation of his nearby soul that most helped her through the final waves of pain though. The cool magic seemed to wrap around her soul and will it into calmness again, and once it began to succeed, it started to return to a wonderful warmth. The familiarity of it all was like a anchor for her adrift mind, and it continued to soothe her as the headache finally receded.

"you… you okay now tori?" Sans asked quietly, concern and a touch of guilt to his tone.

Toriel finally pulled her paws away from her face, drawing in a few steadying breaths. Her vision was still fairly blurry and it took a few moments for her to focus again.

"Yes… Yes I am fine." She replied, a little breathlessly. "Thank you…"

In front of her, the sight of Sans laying just beside her became clearer and she saw him sigh in relief. But it was not a relief that banished the seriousness of the moment like they both managed to do during some of the previous nights. He must have noticed that this was one seemed worse than the other ones as well.

"damn... these headaches of yours… they really are getting bad huh?" He said, shifting himself up into a sitting position.

Toriel didn't respond immediately, blinking against the harsh light of morning and trying to take in her surroundings as she followed suit in sitting up. Judging by how bright it was, she must have slept through the rest of the night after her child had come into her room. That idea began to give her some relief until she realized the child in question was not present. She looked around, shifting the blankets up as if expecting to find Frisk under it somehow. Then she turned back to Sans, somewhat forgetting his observation in the process. Luckily for her he seemed to recognize that and had the answer to her unspoken question ready.

"frisk is fine t." He assured her with a small smile that tried to push through his lingering unease. "they woke up a little while ago. didn't even seem to remember having a nightmare at all. they're playing with papyrus and the pup gang out back. greater dog and lesser dog showed up after breakfast. the kiddo didn't wanna wake you up."

She blinked at that, realization setting in quickly. Her eyes were drawn to the window and she was shocked to see how high the sun was.

"Sans what… what time is it?" She asked, quelling the urge to reach over to her phone to see for herself.

Sans' grin turned a bit strained, signaling she was not going to like the answer.

"it's... a quarter to noon." He admitted.

A groan of frustration left her and she put her face in her paws. She'd done it again. She'd slept in absurdly late after another night of stress. At least when she had school to worry about she had an excuse to ensure she woke up at an ideal time, even if it did leave her utterly drained. Once again, she had missed out making breakfast, tidying up the house and all the other duties she imposed on herself as the more or less head of the household. For Sans to do this was one thing, but her? Some mother she was. What must her children and Papyrus think of her?

"hey, don't worry bout it tori." Sans tried again to reassure her, moving over and leaning against her with a stronger grin. "you were out like a light. you probably really needed the sleep. neither of us exactly have had the best track record with that lately, heh..."

His lighter tone withered with that forced chuckle, and she felt him deflate a bit as his guilt set in again.

"i... i don't think we can ignore what's been happening to you anymore." He said, laying his small hand on her paw and moving back to meet her gaze. "it's just getting worse…"

Toriel frowned and instinctively moved her other paw to her forehead, rubbing against likely mere phantom flickers of the pain that had been there previously. Hearing his worried tone hurt as well, especially after he'd been so happy last night. That happiness she'd tried so hard to help him maintain was already fading, but there was little she could do now to stop it. At least she had been able to do as she'd wished, and preserve that joy he'd felt for a short while longer. Remembrances of everything else that had happened the night before began rushing back to her then. Her children's conversation… The letter… She needed to tell him about it all… Before she could mention any of it though, Sans was continuing on with his original thought.

"we should really have you… checked out y'know?" He said, drawing her focus back to him. "alphys has stuff that should be able to see if there's something going on with your soul."

Toriel blinked at that, surprised by his suggestion. He was right of course, she really did need to do  _something_  about these episodes before they got any worse. And Alphys probably would be able to help in that regard, but his plan summoned up various concerns inside her. She decided to give voice to the most obvious one as she lowered her paw back to her lap.

"But… that would require sharing your secrets with her, would it not?" She asked, hesitantly. "I do not see how we would explain my situation otherwise…"

Sans smiled a bit wider in response and stretched out for a moment in a way that made his spine pop a few times.

"heh, not exactly." He said before he relaxed again. "i said she had the stuff, i didn't say she'd be the one using them."

It took her a moment to put together what he meant, but then understanding clicked and she shot him a curious look. Sans chuckled with a mix of emotions behind it, scratching idly where his collarbone met his undershirt.

"it's been a while since i really dabbled in all that. but its... worth a shot at least." He said, eyelights wavering slightly for a moment before focusing again. "my bro and the kiddo seemed pretty busy out there, so i don't think they'll notice us pop out for a bit. shouldn't take too long."

Toriel hummed in thought, not all that sure about the idea. Not because of doubts regarding his abilities, she was certain he knew what he was doing based on everything about his history she saw in the old lab. Mostly because going behind Alphys' back felt wrong… Not to mention she'd be leaving Frisk and Flowey without any warning again. But she had to concede there was no way she could tell them the truth about it either. It certainly didn't help with her earlier dire feelings concerning her negligence from before, but forced herself to simply ask another question if only to distract herself.

"Will Alphys not be… upset that we were using her things without her permission? And what if we were caught?" She asked, feeling and doing her best to control the guilt over all the lies and deception that flared up anew within her.

Sans again, seemed far calmer than she did about the proposition. His smile softened and he shot her a wink.

"al is an old friend. she'd understand." He said with a gentle confidence. "and don't worry, she keeps it all stashed in their storage shed. she uh… hasn't been all that eager to go in there much after everything that happened."

Toriel felt her soul pang at that for Alphys' sake. Though she knew that her firing of her for her actions was the right thing to do, something she and the former royal scientist both agreed on, it still brought guilt to her soul. Alphys was still no doubt stricken by her previous actions, something Undyne confirmed with her comments about her girlfriend's mental well being yesterday. Again, hope welled up in Toriel's mind, that hope that Alphys could and would find peace soon.

"I see…" She murmured tone more somber than she intended.

Sans looked up at her with concern, and it was a look that again drew her mind back to the things she needed terribly to share with him. She continued on speaking before she lost her nerve.

"Very well then…" She conceded to his plan. "But… there is much I do need to tell you, my dear."

He blinked at that, eyelights seemingly searching her eyes, and then drew closer. He settled facing her and laid a hand on one of her paws.

"about your dream?" He asked, quietly.

She gulped a bit, actually having forgotten that particular thing amongst the more pressing matters.

"Well yes, that too, but… It is more than just that." She clarified, her scarlet eyes betraying her anxiety. "Something happened last night… I did not want to share it with you when you were so very tired… and…" She gently took his hand and gave it a small, consoling squeeze. "i fear some of it may trouble you."

A clash of emotions was visible in his eyelights at that, making them appear briefly hazy. But his concern for her seem to win out over the others in the end, even if some nervous tension was now clearly detectable in his body.

"aw tori…" He said quietly, before he slowly stood in order to give her a hug.

She was a touched surprised by the act, but nonetheless reciprocated the embrace with a sad sort of smile as she settled her chin on his shoulder. Her eyelids fluttered as he began to stroke the fur on the back of her neck, finding it wonderfully soothing. It made that instinctual urge to purr rise up in her throat, but she willed it back, embarrassed by the compulsion even existing.

"i thought you seemed a little off last night. i'm sorry…" Sans apologized after a moment, giving her a small squeeze. "how bout we head over there and you can tell me about it while i get the stuff set up. okay? you don't gotta worry too much bout me, i'll be alright..."

Toriel was a bit taken aback by his tone. So gentle… so comforting. It almost sounded like he was trying to emulate how she often spoke to him during his low moments, whether he was aware of it or not. That made something of a warm, more legitimate smile appear on her face, despite it all.

"Alright then… that… sounds good, my dear." She murmured in reply, knowing that if she let him continue on the way he was much longer she'd surely fall right back asleep.

As if sensing that, he chuckled lightly before letting her go and sitting back again. She was about to say something about getting up and getting dressed before they go, but something occurred to Sans it seemed and he perked up again.

"oh wait… you haven't eaten yet. hold on a sec." He said, before promptly vanishing in a brief flash.

Toriel blinked at the spots of light his teleportation had left in her vision, and he was back mere moments later. This time though, she was prepared and shut her eyes preemptively before he appeared. When she reopened them, she saw him holding a cinnamon swirl muffin in his hand, no doubt snatched from the pantry.

"here, just to uh… tide you over at least, heh." He chuckled, handing it over to her.

She found herself momentarily struck by his thoughtfulness, simply staring down at the muffin in her paw and then back at him before she could form words again.

"Thank you Sans." She said simply, gaining a far stronger smile before taking a neat bite of the treat.

She chewed it and swallowed before speaking again, finding amusement and appreciation in how very attentive Sans seemed this morn- afternoon. He was watching carefully, and seemed to relax a bit when she acted pleased with his choice of improvised breakfast. She passed her tongue over her lips and fangs for show, ridding them of crumbs and furthering her approval as well.

"I… take it you slept well again?" She observed, with only a little hesitation. "You seem… well... rather perky. Well… at least in your case that is."

She ended the statement with a soft giggle, a sound he mirrored with a chuckle of his own. His eyelights drifted downwards briefly as he appeared to be thinking out the dream in question. After a moment, he gave a small shrug of his shoulders and grinned at her again.

"yup… dream was kinda weird as usual, but not bad." He confirmed, a continual relief faintly evident in his voice. "i'm pretty sure it wasn't even connected to any sort of memory this time."

The words made her internally flinch a bit, and somehow Sans noticed even that. Or at least realized the unfortunate connection he'd made with his words. His grin fell and guilt clouded his eyelights again.

"sorry t… i really hope i can figure out how to help you with that." He said, picking absently at the blankets beneath him.

Toriel did her best to give a reassuring smile, but given she had just taken another bite of muffin as he spoke, it was a slightly more difficult task. Once she could speak again though, she was quick to reassure him.

"It is alright, my dear." She said, lightly laying her free paw on his shoulder to encourage him to look at her. "I am sure we will find a solution in time. And I must say, I... greatly appreciate all you have done to help me already."

That last part came out more weighty than she had intended, but she didn't mind. Seeing to it that he knew his efforts were recognised and appreciated took the priority here. If that meant being a bit over dramatic, then so be it. Her words had already brought back his smile, a little sheepish this time. Seeing that made it more than worth it. Sans seemed to consider something for a few moments before laying a hand over the paw on his shoulder and giving it as much of a gentle squeeze as he could. A light blush formed on his face, though from the beads of sweat that accompanied it, she was willing to bet it was born mostly from a twinge of embarrassment.

"well come on, it's the least i can do. you're always looking out for everyone… especially me lately, heh." He said after a moment, offering a bit of a mirthless chuckle before continuing. "and, sometimes i think you get so focused on that, you don't look after yourself y'know? if... you are so busy taking care of everyone, then who's taking care of you?"

His nervous smile widened and his blush deepened as he rubbed the back of his neck.

"correct me if i'm wrong but uh, i think that's at least partially my job now, heh."

Toriel blinked at that, taking in the words for a moment. He… did have a point. She most certainly neglected her own needs if she felt she could better spend that time on others instead. Even now, she still struggled with her self-confidence. Especially with these awful nightmares now often mercilessly reminding her of all her sins. To think  _anyone_  would want to be so devoted to her… after all her past mistakes and failures… It was hard to imagine what Sans truly saw in her sometimes. But in that moment, she could feel the deep sincerity behind his words, and it seemed to restore and soothe her soul. It… honestly felt good to be so cared for.

Her cheeks heat up a bit beneath her fur and a stronger smile spread across her face before she wrapped him up in another hug. This one she let last longer than the first, lightly nuzzling the side of his skull before speaking again.

"I suppose… you are right, my dear." She said, voice full of warmth. "Thank you… truly… thank you."

Sans chuckled and embraced her back, his soul's magic buzzing as it returned her warmth.

"no prob, t." He said, pressing close as he did so. "like i said, it's the least i can do."

They lingered in the hug a bit longer, giving Toriel some time to sort through her thoughts about what she'd missed that morning, and what was to come next. Anxiety did creep back in, but his soul's stabilizing pulses of magic kept it manageable. She finally moved back a bit, as she drew in and let out a steadying breath.

"Alright, if we are going to do this. We should just go now so we can get back as quickly as possible." She said, resolutely, before her seriousness dwindled and a soft, exasperated chuckle escaped her. "Oh dear, Just how many places are you going to end up whisking me off to in my pajamas, Sans?"

He mirrored her laugh with a stronger one of his own before shrugging and shooting her a wink.

"down every  _robe_  less traveled." He quipped, without missing a beat.

She laughed one of her full on belly laughs, having to cover her mouth to keep it from growing too out of hand. She honestly wanted to scoop him up in another hug and kiss for that, but she'd resist for now. They needed to at least try to stay serious about all this. Once she'd recovered from the joke and picked up her purse, Sans gave her a few moments to prepare herself. Then, as before, he reached out and took her paws, counting down from five. On the final number, there was a flash, and then the bedroom was empty and silent. The only life to be found was a pot of blue forget-me-nots, taking in the light of the blessed sun through the window.

When Toriel's vision cleared and the world stopped spinning, she found herself in darkness. For a moment, she feared they had somehow ended up back underground again. She blinked a few times, but the darkness persisted. Instinctively, she summoned a small flame to her paw, casting the area in a faint light. She found herself surrounded on all sides by large machines.

Some were tall enough to loom even over her, while other small ones were stacked and scattered haphazardly around her feet. All of their screens and lights were dark, seeming to indicate they were without power. Given her less than stellar knowledge on technology though, she couldn't be sure. Many of them were also coated in what she assumed was a year's worth of dust, more of which could be seen floating in the air around her flame. She coughed a few times and waved away some of the dust.

"Sans?" She called his name once she could manage it, not immediately spotting him amongst all the clutter.

"over here tori." He promptly answered back from somewhere behind her. "don't worry, just hitting the light switch."

She turned and squinted in the direction she had heard the voice, trying to find him in the flickering firelight. She only just spotted the top of his skull beyond some sort of scanner device when the lights above came on. The harsh, artificial light was nearly blinding for a moment, and she found herself blinking to adjust her vision all over again. Only this time for the exact opposite reason. Once they did though, she was able to see where they were in more clarity.

Sans had described it as a "shed", but the word didn't seem all that appropriate for what seemed to be a large, windowless steel box of a room. The only point of entry seemed to be a door on the far wall, covered in glowing panels that Toriel could only assume were security measures of some sort. The rest of the walls were bare, at least what wasn't covered by machinery and filing cabinets that stretched up to the ceiling. The whole place reminded Toriel of Sans' old lab, but far more cluttered and chaotic.

The sight of some of the machines unnerved her, especially the ones that had appendages mounted with what looked like all kinds of small lazors and drills. Like some macabre dentist's chair. Complete, of course, with restraints… Just what sort of terrible things had these machines been used for? Who had suffered for their depraved purposes? And those cabinets… just how many dark secrets did they carry? Years and years of research into methods meant to free monsterkind.  _All_ kinds of methods… including the most grim and desperate of all…

It was all here, locked away in this great steel box. For a moment, Toriel was consumed with the urge to burn it all down to ashes just as they had with Sans' lab. There was no place for these symbols of monsterkind's greatest sins in their world now. They were little more than reminders of a time they should all be leaving behind. But that urge passed as more rational thought stepped in. No… if Alphys of all monsters kept these things, as haunted by her past as she was, there must be a reason for it. And besides, these weren't like the secrets that were once housed in Sans' old lab. These were things that should not be covered up, lest anyone involved see fit to forget the evil that had once been done by monster hands.

"tori?" Sans voice brought her out of her reverie, and she faced him.

There was understanding and worry in his gaze, a gaze that kept flicking between her face and her still ablaze paw.

"you can uh… put that out now y'know, heh." He said, clearly trying to keep concern for her out of his tone.

Toriel cringed at her own spaciness, she'd let her spiraling thoughts and emotions get a little out of hand there.

"O-oh right." She said, quickly extinguishing the flame and trying to smile convincingly.

Her cheeks warmed with slight embarrassment as Sans gave her another searching look. Stars, he must think her more unstable now than ever. And maybe, with just how frazzled she was displaying herself to be, he was right. Thankfully, Sans spared her by snapping back to his normal self and waving her over to where he was.

"come hop up on here." He said, patting a long, steel table next to another one of the machines. "don't worry, it's not one of the… more extravagant ones."

She nodded and did her best not to eye the thing too warily as she approached. The table was clearly meant for far smaller monsters in mind, meaning she had to lower herself rather far down to sit on it. The cold steel was not the most comfortable thing in the world, and did not help her nerves, but she did relax after sitting for a few moments. His presence at her side also helped with that, especially with all the apparent confidence he was displaying in what he planned to do next. Still, some clarification was needed here.

"What exactly do you plan to do to me?" She asked, with a somewhat teasing smile.

She didn't want to be too lighthearted about it, as she knew being amongst these things must bring up unpleasant memories of all kinds for him as well. The fact  _he_  would be the one acting as "doctor" in this case, no doubt only made it more complicated and unsettling for him. She could see as much as he rummaged through a box across from her. His eyelights had dulled even compared to a few seconds ago, and his grin was tight at the edges, nearing the point it became totally false. Clearly, no amount of expertise in what he was going to be doing made it easy for him. He pulled out what looked to be a long system of cords with small black suction cups on the ends before replying.

"nothing too weird, i promise." He said, vainly trying to return her vaguely playful tone. "i'm just gonna stick one of these to your forehead and over your soul. they're gonna send a readout of different levels of magic within your soul, and a bunch of other sciencey mumbo jumbo. then i'll see if i can figure out if anything obvious is causing these headaches and visions of yours. theoretically… just getting your memories back shouldn't be this…this..."

He paused, clearly searching for an appropriate word before apparently giving up. He approached her with the long cords in his arms, doing his best to keep any of them from dragging on the steel floor below.

"anyway, i'll get this ol' thing running and see what it says." He said, visibly trying to force more strength into his grin. "in the meantime you can tell me about your dream, and… whatever happened last night."

Toriel felt cold fear gather in her soul again at the mention of that. All the confused emotions warred within her, distressing but needing to be let out. She nodded, staring hazily at the contraption in his arms. Sans likely understood the truth of why her expression had suddenly shifted, but he still made an effort to redirect the conversation for a moment to offer her what levity he could.

"you scared of the doctor's tori?" He asked with a weak chuckle. "don't worry, i won't give you any shots today. you'll just have to be  _patient_ , and let this rust bucket do its things for a while once i get it started. "

Toriel returned his feeble smile and lightly swatted at his face with a paw in a playful manner. He chuckled again, with more genuiness behind it, and stepped forward to begin attaching the odd suction cups like things to her.

"they stick to magic sources, so they'll stay in place on their own." He said, laying the first one over her chest.

As described, the thing seemed to hone in on where her soul was, the greatest source of magic, and stuck there without him even having to press it down. He couldn't quite reach up to place the other on her forehead, so he floated it up with his magic. It too attached without missing a beat. With that one, the faint vibration it began emitting was more noticable, along with a faint tingling sensation it sent through her fur beneath it. She frowned in response, but with how she'd honestly been expecting worse, she conceded that it was nothing too bad. Having not yet needing to visit a hospital since arriving on the surface, nor going to one during her time in exile, she couldn't be sure if this was the new standard equipment for medical evaluations or not.

She hooked the cord that was hanging in her face with a claw and tucked it back behind her left horn, if not out of discomfort for the odd thing, then at least to preserve her full visibility. Sans took the other end of the cord where all the extensions united into one, capped with a connector of some sort. It was that connector that he plugged into a port on the machine, before opening up the bottom panel and reaching inside.

"this uh… might take a bit here." He said, voice accompanied by a metallic ring as he spoke with his skull partially inside. "you can go ahead and start talking if you want. maybe start with what exactly happened in your dream last night?"

Her lips pursed at that and the claws on her fingers and toes curled inwards as indecision gripped her. Honestly, she wanted to get to the important part right away but… it might be a good idea to ease into this as much as possible. For both their sakes.

"Alright…" She said, letting out a deep breath through her nostrils.

With that, like so many mornings before, she began recounting the memory that had been returned to her during her sleep. The new setting made the task feel more oppressive somehow, all these machines and wires… like it was all being recorded and studied or something. Knowing what she did about Alphys, it wouldn't surprise her if that was the case. As she spoke, her eyes did travel around the room but found no obvious signs of any camera. She even paused her story briefly to ask the skeleton about it, but he replied with an almost flippant lack of worry, then encouraged her to continue.

For some reason, it seemed to her that Sans did not seem all that perturbed about the idea of Alphys hearing about all this the way he was with the others. She wasn't sure if that was something to do with their past as early friends and colleagues, their shared scientific backgrounds or something else outside her current understanding. Curious as she was, she focused on herself for the moment, feeling more confident about discussing the upcoming, more pressing topic as she finished with the first one.

All the while Sans had been fiddling with the small machine, all manner of quiet beeps and metal clinking emanating from within. He responded only when necessary, clearly prioritizing her speaking over any questions he may or may not have. A few times, he retreated from his work fully to sit and talk to her more personably before returning to the task at hand. With all he was apparently doing in there, it begged the question of just how much work the small machine needed to get up and running again. Had he known it would take so long? It made her wonder if he was honestly stalling in getting the machine working in order to give her a better excuse to talk. In a way, she found that a little touching.

"...And then it ended, just like that." Toriel said, drawing to the conclusion of her tale and absently fiddling with the cord attached to her chest. "I… had forgotten just how far gone I was back then… It was... unsettling to see. For some reason… I felt compelled to tell…  _myself_ … that things would get better. And then I woke up with the same splitting headache as always."

There was a pause, and then as if like clockwork, there was a metallic click from inside the machine next to the table and it began to hum to life. She decided her earlier suspicion did indeed hold true. Sans emerged as the buttons and display lit up with a faint gray-green light. She saw it in his eyelights again, that small flash of energy that came with working with this kind of tech. But it was as brief as the majority of his joyful moments, snuffed out no doubt by the other, far darker, far more painful memories that were associated as well.

That dullness to his expression remained as he turned to her, resting a hand on the machine. But the source of the shadows dulling the lights of his eyes seemed to shift as the moment ticked by.

"hmm... well, that certainly… makes a few things a bit clearer." He said with a poor excuse of a mirthless chuckle.

He tapped his phalanges in an uneven rhythm against the metal plating of the humming machine, eye sockets dulling further as he seemed to be lost in thought. For a moment, their gazes met, and she saw that frustratingly familiar look of pity and sympathy for her sake before his eyelights fell again.

"so... he got mad at you for not figuring out who he was…" He muttered, seemingly mostly to himself. "guess that had to be one of the we-, flowey's early runs. early-ish at least."

Toriel nodded, feeling the heat of long building frustration swirl about within her soul. There was enough beating around the bush, while she was grateful to get all that off her chest, if they didn't get to the matter at hand here she was sure her fur was going to start falling out from stress. That last utterance from Sans only furthered that feeling, a harsh reminder of the previous night's events. To his credit, he seemed to realize the effect his words had had on her and came over to brush a reassuring hand over her paw.

"yah… i know." He said, in an understanding but supremely heavy tone. "go on tori, you can tell me. what happened last night? it will actually be good for you to talk about it now. that ol bucket of bolts might detect something and give me a clue as to what's going on with you."

As he spoke, he levitated over a worn down and lightly stained swivel chair from the corner of the room and set it down midway between her and machine. It allowed him to face her this time while she spoke, but also access to the machine should it do… whatever it was meant to do. Toriel didn't care to think about it then. She'd been given the go ahead she needed. Someone else had to know what she'd heard. How Sans had endured so long under the inordinate weight of his own secrets, she didn't know. Like an odd sort of role-reversal, now he was the one holding her paw as she spilled her own terrible burdens. She turned it in order to envelop it properly before she spoke.

Oh stars... where to begin? All she could think of was the literal beginning of it all.

"I was about to put the children to bed… when I heard Papyrus and that dog tearing around the living room, as they often do." She began, trying to keep the emotions of the previous night tightly contained inside her. "I went to help settle things before it got too out of hand. But when I was on my way back to the children's room…"

She paused, reliving the moment vividly through all her senses. Her claws curled inward a bit, almost nicking his hand before she realized and stopped herself.

"Sans I… I heard Frisk speaking to Flowey. It sounded as though Frisk was trying to convince Flowey to tell me something… I can only imagine it has to do with this... big apparent secret surrounding his identity."

She said that last part with a bit of a huff, her frustrations leaking into her tone again. Sans blinked before his sockets widened a bit, and she was surprised to then see something akin to relief appear there, along with uncertainty… and that same strange pity for her that she was getting quite fed up with. Nonetheless, she pushed on with it before he could reply. There was too much to get through, and lingering on any one thing could prove to a spiral of misunderstanding and even panic on his end, given the nature of it all. She had to be careful how she worded it…

"They… they made it seem like Frisk has figured out that I know something." She admitted hesitantly, but made sure to continue and finish the thought before that idea could settle in too deeply. "But the two argued a bit, and I overheard Frisk… I overheard them adamantly refuse to Reset…"

Only then did she pause and nervously wait for Sans' reaction. The word made him wince as expected, and his eyelights shrank considerably. He said nothing for a moment, eyelights flickering a bit as they drifted down towards the floor. He seemed to take it all in for a few seconds before meeting her gaze again with a more unsettled but still resolute look. Drops of sweat began to dot his skull as he silently indicated for her to go on. Toriel nodded, carefully gripping his small hand a little tighter. She swallowed hard before she could find her voice again. This next part was going to be difficult…

"After that…"

She had to pause once more, unsure how to even put the strange incident into words.

"Sans... do you remember what you told me regarding Frisk that day when you told me about the Resets?" She asked, tone full of anxiety. "About… how there is something… inside their head that speaks to them?"

The skeleton's hand closed tighter reflexively around her own, eyelights briefly becoming mere pinpricks before he attempted to steady himself again. He replied with a grim nod.

"yah... i can't say that i really understand what's happening with that… though i do have my theories, heh." He said, before his strained smile fell to more of a grimace.

"you heard it didn't you? the… other voice speaking along with them?" He asked, dropping much of his attempt to stay impassive through this. "whenever whatever that thing is… "takes over", that is how they speak… they have a real different personality from the kiddo… and… you can usually tell most easily by the eyes…"

He raised his free hand to tap a phalange beneath one of his eye sockets.

"when that thing is in control, the kid's eyes get wider than they should… and they turn bright red, sometimes even glow.." He explained, and Toriel could feel a faint tremor travel through him.

It wasn't hard to imagine why. Toriel herself could hardly keep herself from shivering. His words had sparked a realization for her, and it summoned up a cold, dreadful fear within her soul. The machine beside the table beeped twice, but she paid it no mind as she spoke almost subconsciously.

"I… I  _have_  seen that." She croaked, eyes wide. "In one of the first of these dreams I had… where Frisk..."

Suddenly her cheek and lower stomach began to burn, just enough to be noticed, just enough to invoke the pain of that memory. Her sweet hearted Frisk, looking down at her as she lay dying before them. Red, overstretched eyes aglow and ablaze with dark intent. The machine beeped once more as her soul seized up inside her.

"Stars above… y-you mean to say that my child is…  _possessed_  or something?!" She burst out, the words strained as they left her mouth. "D-does… that have something to do with… when they killed us?"

Sans flinched a bit at her exclamation, and more drops of sweat rolled down the curve of his skull as he took in the weight of her question. He glanced at the machine behind him, as if intending on investigating the meaning behind the earlier beeping, but halfway through seemed to decide against it and turned back to her. He closed his eye sockets for a moment with a barely audible sigh. When he reopened them, it was only a crack, and showed nothing but darkness within.

"from what the kid told me, and what i witnessed myself… it's complicated." He said, absently rolling the heel of one foot over the wheels of his chair. "but whatever it is, it was definitely involved on some level. i wouldn't say it caused it or anything... the kiddo made it clear that they were the one who… did the majority of it, who chose to walk that dark path."

A dreadful silence stretched between them after that, as Toriel tried to digest this information. The claws on her free paw curled tightly against the cold, hard table beneath her, until they ached at the bases. How…? How could she not have known? How could she have been so blind to her child's affliction all this time? Her agonized thoughts wanted to speed onwards, in sync with yet another beep from the machine, but Sans giving her paw another purposeful squeeze directed her attention back to him. It could only distract her for a moment, but that was all he needed.

"but hey, it sounds like they are gonna tell you some important stuff soon." He said, smile straining a bit at the edges as it tried to form into something reassuring. "maybe they'll explain about that too. i can at least tell you that i'm pretty sure this thing isn't a threat to them from what i've seen. so let's... just try and play it cool a while longer and see what they have to say. alright?"

Toriel stared at him, not sure how to feel or how to react to that. After a moment of thinking it over with a less panicked mindset, she did begin to reason with herself. This was another great blow, another terrible secret she'd have to keep, have to not act on. Just how many more were there to uncover? How many more could she take before she fractures under the stress? She'd made a promise, and she wouldn't break it if she could at all help it. And if this terrible revelation was all it was, she could make herself keep it locked deep down like everything else he had told her. But this time… It was just...

"Sans, I… I do not know if I can stand to wait for that." She admitted, covering her face with her free paw as much as she could manage with the device attached to her.

She couldn't see his expression, but she didn't need to to know the guilt that her words no doubt brought to him. His grip on her went stiff from it and other emotions, and when he spoke again, his voice was soft, almost fearful.

"whaddya mean, tori?" He asked.

Beside them, the machine began to beep again. She ignored it, focusing on trying to put the chaotic feelings of everything into words that made sense before he worried too deeply. But it was struggle, one that her frustration and heartache certainly didn't help.

"Th-there is something here that I'm missing." She croaked out at last. "About this thing, the voice… it was  _familiar_! And about Flowey… I just… I know I am missing something! And I know it is something  _important_. It is tearing at my mind but I cannot figure it out and… Sans it, it  _hurts_."

The admission broke something within her, along with her resolve. She met his gaze again, emotions of all kinds spilling over. Her eyes were bright with pain and filling with tears against her will.

"Sans… why will you not tell me?" She asked, in an imploring tone.

He blinked, and then his expression fell and eyelights dulled nearly enough to fade them into the darkness there completely. It was a foolish question, she knew the answer, and so did he. But it had escaped her before she could even think about it.

"i…" He began to try to reply, but her continually flaring temper and desperation led her to interrupt him with another outburst.

All the while, the machine kept beeping beside them. A steady, aggravating rhythm.

"Fine, then, why will  _Flowey_  not tell me?" She asked, in a far more accusatory tone. "Why will Frisk not tell me? What is it they are keeping from me?  _Why_  are they keeping it from me?!"

Her voice rose on every question, up until the last where she finally snapped out of her angry haze somewhat and realized what she was doing. She covered her face again with both paws this time, mind and soul still in a whirl.

"I do not understand…" She croaked, voice breaking a bit.

A single weak sob shook through her, a culmination of all the stress that had been building from the previous night. Her claws wouldn't retract and dug their points into her face and that damn machine wouldn't stop beeping. It was only Sans' gentle touch that brought any peace back to her in that moment. She hadn't even noticed him climb up on the table beside her, and was now trying to coax her paws down with nothing more than just a light touch. He knew to be cautious with her, and that just made her feel all the more guilty.

After drawing in a steadying breath, she let him guide her paws away from her face. He held on to one of them with both of his hands, once more as an effort to keep her attention. She gave it to him, already feeling the anger drain out of her. Her vision of him was bleary from tears, but she met his gaze to the best of her ability.

"tori... i…" He began then paused, reaching out with one hand to help dry her eyes before continuing. "i want to tell you more than anything right now. trust me, if i could, i would. but they just… they aren't my secrets to share. anything i say even like… hint wise is going to make it so much worse for you."

"I know… I know…" She replied, hanging her head, miserable at herself for her unbecoming behavior. "I am so sorry Sans…"

No longer worried it seemed, he sat down beside her and gave her a breif little side hug.

"it's okay t…" He assured her, sympathy coating his tone. "don't worry about it, i understand. none of this is fair to you..."

He trailed off briefly, glancing at the machine as it beeping slowed. It didn't stop, but the sounds came at a slower pace, almost like the heart monitors Toriel had witnessed in hospitals and on TV. The comparison was unnerving, but not enough to distract her from her turbulent thoughts. Sans sighed, seemingly mirroring her own internal frustration and rubbing his forehead. Then he looked back up to her, grin weak and eyelights even more so. But those little lights were also entreating as they locked with her gaze.

"just please tori. let them come to you. let them tell you themselves." He implored, gripping her paw again. "they made a vow to do it, right? you heard them. it will be so much better for you, them, and everyone if they tell you about everything on their own terms."

His strained grin tightened at the edges, and his gaze drifted downwards again.

and look, i'm not just saying that because i'm afraid of another reset... i'm saying that because i know it's true. confronting them over this would just make things worse and encourage them to feed you lies. this might be the only way besides…"

He paused, narrowing his socket briefly before going on. She got the sense he had settled on something.

"if they don't tell you soon.  _i'll_  talk to them. alright?" He said in a quieter, more uneasy tone. "i think they owe it to me to at least... hear me out..."

The weight of hearing such a vow from him was not lost on her, and she felt her initial flare of up of emotion settle down as that weight settled on her soul. The idea he'd be willing to do one of the things he feared most for her sake, confront her child regarding the myriad of secrets regarding the resets and everything else… It calmed her, if only for how very touched she felt. He turned his gaze back up to her before she could say anything in reply.

"just please tori, hang in there." He said, attempting something of a reassuring smile. " it… it will be okay. we will figure this out..."

She blinked, slowly. Then took a deep, steadying breath. The machine kept on beeping at a sluggish pace beside them. She gripped his hand tighter once more, her scarlet eyes now displaying their usual softness.

"Alright… I… I will do my best to wait for them to talk to me." She conceded, before leaning over to hug him more properly in return. "Thank you, my dear… I do not know what I do without you at this point."

He weakly returned the hug as best he could, but given their awkward angle could only really wrap his arms up and around her own. After a few moments where his soul gave off clear feelings of relief towards her agreement, she felt something shift, dulling the warmth of his magic. He gave an empty sort of chuckle, deflating a little in her embrace.

"heh, you wouldn't be in this situation at all if it weren't for me..." He said, just above a whisper.

She made a soft sort of disapproving sound in her throat at that, something of a warning not to slip into those thoughts. He let out a wheezy laugh again, and it was a bit less mirthless this time.

"alright…i know… i know." He replied, in a tone of surrender. "sorry... yah, you're welcome tori."

They lingered like that for a bit, both truly needing the hug at that moment. But eventually a new sort of drawn out beep came from the machine, then it went silent. As it did, a small green light lit up on the control panel.

"hmm... looks like the ol rust bucket's finally done crunching the numbers for me." Sans said, gently slipping out of her embrace and hopping down to the floor. "lemme take a look at what it's saying bout you. just hang tight okay?"

Toriel watched him before casting a displeased glance down at the cord attached to her chest.

"So can I take these ridiculous things off now?" She asked, lightly picking at it with a claw.

He chuckled at that, though the stress of their earlier conversation kept it from feeling fully genuine.

"yah, you're good. just set em' down on the table there." He said, as he tapped at the machine's small touchscreen.

She wasted no time in popping each off with a careful tug. Thankfully, no fur came off with them. She set the cords aside and rubbed at the spots they'd been, smoothing out her fur and nightgown. A noise from beside her drew her attention back to Sans again, and she watched as the machine began producing a long sheet of paper through a slot near the top. It was covered in numbers and text, notably and thankfully not the wingdings text though. Once out in full, Sans picked it up and began looking it over, sinking into the dilapidated chair once more.

A silence stretched between them for a short time then, leaving Toriel again to stew in her unsettled thoughts. Sans all the while just stared at the paper, eyelights running over all the data with a rare sort of focus and seriousness. She couldn't help but feel drawn in by seeing him like that. It seemed that despite all the pain and trauma associated with his scientific background, he still had the capacity to slip back into what she could only assume was his old mindset. She wished it didn't have to be such a conflicting thing for him, since it was plain to see he still enjoyed it on some level.

Eventually though, she realized she had been rather openly staring and looked away again, feeling her cheeks warm a bit despite herself. Her gaze searched for something to distract herself from plunging back into stressed, unwelcome thoughts regarding her children. Eventually it passed over all the machines and scientific equipment and rested on her purse beside her. Only then did she notice the letter, the very one she'd neglected to open yesterday, poking out from inside. She blinked, all her nearly equally uneasy feelings regarding it coming back to her. But… surely it couldn't be as bad as everything else, and she'd honestly take just about any distraction at this point.

She picked it up, looking over the wording on the front again. As she did, she heard a flutter of paper as Sans set the printed document in his lap and rubbed his forehead with a hand in apparent exasperation. She saw it as her chance to get his opinion on the matter.

"Oh Sans… there… there is one more thing I wished to speak to you about if that is alright…" She said, turning towards him on the table. "Or at least, I think I will probably want to talk to you about it. I am not actually sure yet…"

He dropped his hand and looked up at her, quickly eyeing the item in her paws.

"a letter?" He questioned, rolling his chair a little closer.

"Yes, from the Ebott Historical Preservation Society, apparently." She replied, handing it to him to look at. "Asgore gave it to me by the campfire last night. He said I should have it. I meant to open it before, but with everything that happened it just… slipped my mind."

Sans turned it over a few times in his hands, furrowing his brow ridges a bit in thought.

"hmm... looks real fancy." He noted before handing it back to her. "historical society… maybe they wanna talk about monster history with you or something?"

She hummed thoughtfully in her throat, considering that. Honestly, hearing his casual reasoning quieted a good deal of the anxiety within her. He was always good at that, and silently letting her know when she was worrying too much.

"Perhaps… I suppose we will just have to find out." She said, lifting one finger dramatically and fully extending a claw.

He grinned and chuckled lightly at that, seemingly just as grateful for a brief distraction from the mass of data he'd been looking over. As he watched, she carefully used the claw to tear open a thin line at the top of the letter. She then tilted it and shook the contents out of the envelope into her open, waiting paw. As she had expected from the feel and weight of it, what fell into her paw was more than just a note. A couple photos spilled out along with the expected crisp and neatly folded letter. Unable to resist, she picked up the pictures first.

What she saw made her freeze up briefly, as her mind tried to wrap around what she was seeing. All the photos depicted the ruins of an ancient, crumbling castle. Some showed tall, dilapidated spires, towers and walls while others depicted the crumbling, neglected interior. The most impactful for her was the one depicting a throne room, with two dusty, decrepit old thrones still standing side by side in the face of the passing centuries. A cracked and near bleached stained glass window could be seen just behind it, its image long lost to time. But her ancient eyes knew it once depicted three figures, three boss monsters in glittering, pristine detail.

"tori?" Sans voice broke her out of her trance, soft with concern.

She blinked and looked at him, trying to calm the onslaught of thoughts and memories that had suddenly beset her. It took her a moment to find her voice again.

"This… is my parents' old castle…" She said in a quiet, stunned tone. "It… is still standing?"

That last part was said more quietly, more too herself. The idea was just… so unexpected. She never even thought to consider the idea it might have survived the war. The humans tore down and burned so many monster settlements and structures during those days of bloodshed, it would have been pure foolishness to expect they'd leave one of the grand castles of their enemy untouched. And yet… here it was. Battered and worn down by time, but still standing.

"you mean… where you used to live?" Sans asked, clearly wanting to look at them himself but hesitating, unsure if she wished to share them.

She handed them over after a beat, realizing only then how protectively she'd been holding them. She cleared her throat as Sans took them, trying to get her voice and mind to regain clarity again.

"Yes… when I was young… Before me and Asgore were married." She replied, worrying her lip with her fangs. "I… just cannot believe it was not destroyed once we were all sealed…"

As Sans looked at the photos, she turned her attention to the letter at last. Her interest could not be any more piqued at this point. She unfurled it in her paws and was faced with note penned in incredibly ornate penmanship, rather akin to how her parents and others wrote during the time she lived in that very castle, ironically. Her eyes travelled over the words, taking it all in.

She rolled her eyes at the top where someone had clearly at the last moment tried to use white out to remove the Dreemurr from her name. The rest though, was all quite well written and researched. Still, the academic and detached manner they used when speaking of her old home didn't sit quite right with her. It was signed by someone named Doctor Lilith Burgundy, the apparent head of the Ebott Historical Preservation Society, along with her contact information. Once content with her reading of it, she handed it over to Sans, conveniently at the same moment he was ready to return the photos to her.

"They seem to want me to visit... and help them better understand it." She said, as she delicately took the pictures back. "Apparently they wish to set forth plans to attempt to restore it, and turn parts of it into a museum... And they want my approval on those plans before they start anything."

Sans gave the letter his own look, nodding before he even finished reading it.

"makes sense." He commented, peering over the paper at her. "what do you think?"

Toriel's eyes drifted down at the photos in response to the question, conflicted thoughts and feelings flowing through her. She set the pictures down in her lap and wrung her paws together in a anxious little motion.

"I… I am not sure." She admitted.

She wanted to elaborate but found it hard to put the feelings into words. Minutes before, she would not have passed a second thought to the castle she had every reason to believe was long gone. Now, she was suddenly faced with the fact it was not only still standing, but that its future was now being at least partially left in  _her_  hands. It was all so sudden… and the memories she had of that place were so...

"well i mean, this is just me but… i think at least visiting and talking with them wouldn't hurt." Sans said, pulling her attention back to him again. "it would be really neat to see where you came from. and it sounds like they don't wanna do anything that would like… tarnish the place's history or whatever."

He gave a casual shrug before beginning to fiddle absently with one of his hoodie's drawstrings. It reflected a bit of self consciousness on his part, making him hesitate over what he wished to say next.

"plus... you kinda started telling me about your folks and your childhood and all a while back, but with all my issues coming to a head, you never really got a chance to go into depth. If you still want to talk about all that… hard to think of a better place than where it all happened, right?"

Toriel thought about that. She had honestly forgotten the bits and pieces of her own history she'd shared with him in the wake of learning about the Resets. He had seemed interested then, and she had vowed to speak on the subject more, had she not? She'd be happy to tell him about it of course, even the… more difficult parts. But in the context of this sudden revelation…

When she didn't reply quickly, Sans' expression softened and he dropped his casual tone for something a little more earnest.

"up to you of course though. i get if it would be uh… kinda rough. to see your old home like that and all." He said, eyelights dimming a bit. "or even to see a bunch of strangers coming in and wanting to change everything."

He gestured vaguely with a hand as he went on, as though hoping the motions would help get his point across.

"and hey, if that castle's lasted this long, it'll still be there later on if you decide you wanna see it some other time. don't let these humans boss you around or anything about making a decision, k?"

Once again, his ability to be so casually reasonable helped set her mind at ease. His tendency to make light of things rarely was a good thing, but when she herself was inclined towards the other extreme, it was sometimes the exact balance she needed. She offered a thankful little smile, then quirked a brow.

"Was that a boss monster pun?" She asked, playfully.

He blinked, surprised by that response, then laughed heartily, wonderful little wheeze and all.

"uh no, but i'll totally add it to the list." He said through the chuckles.

She returned his laugh with a soft giggle of her own. She was feeling a bit too drained for anything stronger, but it felt good to laugh for any reason. Her smile did fade a bit though as she looked back to the photos. After a moment, she heaved a sigh and began to put them back into the envelope.

"I suppose… if there is nothing for me to do about everything regarding my children but wait… I could use a good distraction for today." She reasoned, settling on the idea. "I think I will give them a call… and go see it today if I can."

Her soul stirred with varied emotions at the idea, making her red eyes seem somewhat hazy as they stared down at the re-packed envelope.

"I think now that I know that it is still there, I need to see it." She admitted in a weighty tone, before making an attempt to lighten it. "And it will be nice to do something positive towards bettering relations between humans and monsters as well."

Sans grinned, seeming happy that she had made the decision for herself rather than any sort of obligation. Though the look he gave after that initial smile showed he'd caught onto the heavier emotions driving all this.

"sounds like a plan to me." He agreed, handing her back the letter to put away with the photos. "how's about we head back and tell the others bout this idea. see if they're cool with going on a lil adventure"

He gave the paper that the machine had produced earlier a meaningful wave in front of him before beginning to fold it up.

"i'll hang onto this report in the meantime and see if i can't figure out more from it. i'm kinda stumped at the moment, but i gotta feeling i'm on the brink of cracking this puzzle, just not in the right headspace to see the missing piece. might even get al to take a look at it."

She gave him an incredulous look at that, but he quite literally waved off her concern with another lazy motion of his hand.

"heh, don't worry, if it comes to that, i'll make sure she doesn't know who the report's about… or why i had it made." He assured her.

It was enough to get her to relax again, and a small smile began to return to her face as she put the envelope back in her purse.

"Very well. I wish you luck then." She said, smile growing warmer as the moments passed. "And thank you Sans… again. For listening… and for everything."

Her heartfelt words made him pause as he was starting to slip the folded report into his hoodie pocket. His eyelights drifted away as his smile became a touch sheepish and a hint of a blush rose up on his face. It was a sight that made her soul happily flutter inside her.

"ah come on tori, keep talking like that and you're gonna get me all misty eyed again." He said, indeed with a bit of a strain to his voice. "if this report gets wet i'll have to print a whole new one."

With the quip stated, he stashed the report in his pocket and slipped his hands inside along with it. His expression then sobered up after a moment, before he offered her a lazy wink.

"like i said… it's the least i can do."

With all that settled, and both their souls feeling as warm and content as they could given the circumstances, Toriel made the first move to get up, more than eager to get off the cold, hard table. Really more than eager to leave the unsettling place in general. She brushed herself off and slipped on her purse before looking at him again.

"Shall we go home then? I fear we have been here far too long already." She noted, her usual worrisome tone edging back into her voice.

Thankfully, Sans seemed more than happy to accommodate her and gave a nod before sluggishly getting up to his feet.

"yup, sure thing." He replied, taking her paw in his small hand in a motion that was becoming more and more natural for them.

She was relieved to hear him agree so quickly, but a glance around at all the things they'd disturbed during their time there summoned up yet another concern in her.

"Should we not… clean up first?" She asked, a hint of guilt to her voice.

Sans gave a half-hearted glance at it all then shook his head with a dismissive shrug of his shoulders.

"nah, al could nearly rival me when it comes to being a slob. she won't even notice. and i doubt she'll be wanting to come down here any time soon." He said, tone once again trailing into something less flippant at the end.

Toriel decided to take his word for it, too anxious to get back home to question it further. She gave him a nod, and after using his magic to turn off the lights, he gave her paw a squeeze as a warning for her to prepare for the shortcut. As usual, the moments before she experienced one always seemed to move in slow motion, where her mind tried to sort through as many thoughts as possible, as though her life were flashing before her eyes.

Everything regarding these secrets from her children, the revelation of the truth behind there being something all but possessing Frisk, and now this business regarding her family's castle. All of it was present and prominent among these rapid fire thoughts. It seemed that things in her life had no desire to slow down or take it easy on her ever since that day she first made the decision to do more to help her dear skeleton. She'd take it over the alternative of course, every single time. But stars above... if it wasn't exhausting. If it was what she had to endure for the sake of all this though, she'd just have to find the strength to get through it. She'd never allow herself to flee from such important responsibilities ever again, especially for the sake of those she loved. 

Before they set off, she spared one last glance down at the vague shape of the letter in her purse in the dark. As she did, she tried to sort through all the old, conflicted feelings rising up within her. For the first time in centuries, she'd be returning to the very first place she ever called home.


	28. Remains

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter is finished! Huzzah!~ Also I finally graduated!~ Double huzzah! Hoping that means now I can get back to the regular updates of this fic. They probably won't be weekly for a little while longer until I get this whole job searching thing sorted out, but ideally it will be more than once a month >_>
> 
> We are coming closer to the final arc, and I'm so glad I made it this far into the story I planned out nearly a whole year ago during last summer. Thanks for being patient with me if you've managed to hang in there all this time ;D You guys are amazing and I so do appreciate every one of you. <3 
> 
> Alright, i'm done with the sap. Onto the chapter. Its another long one for you all. Hope you enjoy~ 
> 
> (Warnings for this chapter: Nothing major)

The warm afternoon wind gently tossed the edges of Toriel's dress as she crested the top of the hill she'd been climbing. Her scarlet eyes were locked on a great structure looming before her, jutting up towards the sky like the immense shape of Mt. Ebott in miniature. Both summoned similar mixed feelings in her from looking upon them. Ancient, inordinate feelings from the deepest parts of her soul.

The castle of the western monster kingdom's ruling family, her old home.

She took it all in for a few moments, rigid and unblinking. She had seen the dire condition the castle had been in from the pictures but… seeing it in person was truly a different experience. Photos could not do the decay of this place justice. What lay before her was a collection of structures far more deserving of the title "Ruins" than her home in self exile ever was. Everything was a mere fragment of its former glory. Once glorious walls and spires were little more than faded, crumbling eyesores. Once beautifully tended grounds were now nothing more than overgrown, chaotic messes with ivy covering every wall and some plants even protruding out from cracks in the decrepit stone.

Whole new forests surrounded and creeped in towards the castle where there had once been only flat grassland for miles. The river to the east was wider and had carved out the land in a new direction. Natural rock formations had now worn away to nothing. Hills had sagged or pushed ever higher, while some had their shapes altered completely. Massive, time-worn trees now towered in and amongst the castle structures, their roots enveloping and creeping across the stone like the hands of mother nature herself in her slow, steady effort to fully reclaim this place.

In the ever persistent subterranean world of the Underground, and especially during her time alone in the unchanging Ruins, Toriel rarely so vividly felt the true weight of her immortality. But now, looking upon a place her eyes had not seen in centuries, a place she'd once called home, she could only feel overwhelmed under that weight. Time had reshaped the childhood home into a place almost wholly unrecognizable. Time she should have never even been alive to now eventually witness this. She should be long dead, dust spread, with her descendants being the ones to be here in this moment. And she would have been, had it not been for her son's death, and all the wretched chaos that followed it.

This feeling… to feel genuinely ancient, practically alien to the world around you, it was one that only a scant few beings would ever experience. She wouldn't wish it on anyone.

It was only the sensation of a soft grip on her paw that finally dragged her attention away from the sight of the crumbling castle. She looked down to see Frisk there beside her, holding on to her and looking up into her eyes with a concerned expression. Flowey was poking out of their small backpack, looking at the castle with a less than impressed expression.

She blinked and her mind sluggishly pulled itself out of its whirl of thoughts. It threatened to plunge into another, one regarding everything that had happened with her children the previous day, and all she'd endured because of it that morning. But she willed it back, and a weak sort of smile appeared on her face instead. She opened her mouth to offer Frisk a reassurance of some sort, but was interrupted by another voice at her side.

"WOWIE! IT'S SO COOL!" Papyrus commented loudly from beside her, harshly breaking the previous silence. "IT'S LIKE THOSE OLD DRAWINGS IN THE HISTORY BOOKS, BUT REAL!"

She jumped a bit at the sudden voice and it took a little longer than it should have for the fur on the back of her neck to stop standing on end. His statement left her unsure of what to say in return, and her eyes wandered instead, searching for the one she knew could ease her nerves. When she didn't find him, worry briefly flared up in her chest.

"Where is Sans?" She asked, looking all around behind her. "We did not leave him behind did we?"

Thankfully the answer came right away, sparing her from any further serious fretting.

"i'm coming t… just a sec." Her dear skeleton's voice came from behind the hill's curve.

Moments later he came trudging up the hill, looking as though each step were a challenge for him. Sweat dripped down his skull and his breathing was labored. Once he finally reached the top, he heaved a sigh and leaned over to rest his weight on his knees.

"man... i'm outta shape." He panted, before flashing them all a weak grin.

"YOU WERE NEVER IN SHAPE TO BEGIN WITH, SANS." Papyrus promptly shot back, crossing his arms.

The smaller skeleton let out a wheeze of a chuckle and smiled wider.

"heh, point taken."

While the two of them seemed to find the situation amusing, Toriel couldn't help but still feel concerned. She stepped over to Sans, and as she did, Frisk gently released her paw and followed along behind her.

"Oh Sans, you should have said something." She lamented, laying a supporting paw on his shoulder to hopefully keep him upright. "I would have been happy to carry you or something if you were getting tired. Or… why did you not simply shortcut your way up here?"

Sans leaned into her touch a bit as he continued to breathe heavily, clearly grateful for her actions. He held up a phalange to signal he needed a second, but Papyrus chimed in again before Sans could say anything.

"BECAUSE, HE NEEDS ACTUAL EXERCISE FOR ONCE!" The younger skeleton declared with a huff. "A HIKE LIKE THIS WILL DO HIM GOOD, HE RELIES TOO MUCH ON THAT ABILITY AS IT IS."

Sans let out another wheezy breath that may or may not have been another laugh of some sort. After a few moments, he managed to recover a bit more and nodded.

"yah, basically what he said." He confirmed with a weak shrug, though something in his smile betrayed that this had certainly not been his idea. "plus it… does seem kinda rude not to stay with you for something like this. you deserve to be the first one to see…"

He trailed off, eyelights shrinking to small dots of light as he finally caught sight of the once grand castle behind her.

"woah…" He breathed in a soft tone, straightening up again for a better look.

Toriel's gaze inevitably followed his own, once again drawn to the crumbling structure before them. They both stared for a few beats in momentary silence, save for the rustle of the wind through the tall grass around them. At some point during that time, Toriel felt Sans' hand reach up and take her paw. She subconsciously returned the act, threading his phalanges with her fingers as both of them continued to stare at the sight.

"ISN'T IT COOL BROTHER?" Papyrus broke the silence once more as he stepped over to Sans' side, though this time it was a bit more anticipated. "IT IS EVEN BIGGER THAN THE ONE UNDERGROUND! JUST THINK OF THE AMAZING PUZZLES AND TRAPS IT MUST HAVE HAD!"

Sans took a moment to respond, but even when he did, he didn't tear his gaze from the castle.

"yah bro… pretty damn cool." He said, still in that quiet tone of voice.

Once he'd said that though, he seemed to snap out of his trance some and playfully elbowed Papyrus' leg.

"not as cool as you though." He finished the thought with a wink.

"WELL OF COURSE NOT!, IT IS QUITE UNFAIR TO COMPARE ANYTHING, EVEN AN ANCIENT CASTLE SUCH AS THIS, TO ME." Papyrus agreed, placing a hand dramatically on his chest. "BUT IT STILL RANKS UP THERE IN MY BOOK!"

Toriel only vaguely heard his response, still not feeling fully present beneath the weight of all her memories and mixed, swirling emotions. In an effort to combat that feeling, she turned to looked down at Frisk, who had remained ever quiet at her side. They too seemed captivated by the castle, though since they wore their usual neutral expression, it was hard to tell what exactly they were feeling at the sight of it. Flowey only gave it a sidelong glance at this point, as though he were losing interest. He still had yet to say a word at all, and she wasn't sure if that should concern her or not. Frisk was usually her quiet child, not him.

"What do you think, my children?" She asked softly, gently breaking them out of their reveries.

Frisk looked up at her then back down at the grass again as they seemed to consider their answer. Now Toriel couldn't help but wonder if that strange voice she'd heard, the voice that apparently belonged to some other being that shared their body, was speaking to them then, advising. The idea made her shudder lightly, though the action was thankfully hidden by a convenient gust of wind. Flowey seemed to be waiting for Frisk's response too, halfheartedly watching the child's hands in anticipation of what they might sign.

(It is…) Frisk began, before pausing and seemingly deciding to start again. (It is pretty cool… But… also kind of sad looking. And maybe a little creepy…)

That final admission made their expression turn a touch apologetic, clearly worried about offending her. Flowey though, had no such reservations. He had be making small steps towards improvement, but he still often seemed to lack any sort of filter when it came to speaking his mind. Once he'd taken in what Frisk was saying, he was quick to finally chime in.

"Yah, looks like a real dump." He said, with a casual sort of disdain. "The castle in the Underground was way better."

Toriel's weak smile actually strengthened a bit at that, with a touch of amusement. Her eyes wandered back towards the castle, retaining that hint of levity.

"Yes, well… You are not wrong to think that." She said, addressing both their concerns. "This place has not had anyone to care for it or, likely, any sort of visitors at all in a very...very long time."

Her smile stayed, but her eyes dulled and darkened a bit as ancient memories once again began to flood back to her.

"And… it has witnessed much sadness and fear in its time." She finished, far more quietly.

She felt Sans tighten his grip on her paw, and she could feel his uncertainty and concern through the magic that met her own through that point of contact. Still, it was clear he didn't know what to say in this situation. She gave his hand a gentle squeeze back, both to hopefully reassure him that she'd be okay, and that his silent support was enough.

Before anyone could potentially ask her more about that, the sound of a revving engine came from down near the castle. A large van then emerged from behind one of the crumbling walls, lumbering over uneven ground and masses of overgrown plantlife strewn across the area. From the passenger window, an older human woman leaned out, cheerfully waving them over. It was only then that Toriel noticed the set of pitched canopies out near what remained of the outer wall that the car was heading towards, mostly concealed by yet another set of large trees that hadn't existed the last time Toriel had been here.

Now that her mind was refocusing on the here and now, she could pick up on voices and other faint sounds coming from that direction, signaling the presence of other humans here. Something about that initially felt… wrong somehow. Especially when thinking of how this castle was left vacant and in ruins in the first place. But the feeling didn't linger long. Dwelling on such things now, centuries after the war had ended, would be little more than petty foolishness. Still, a certain discontent did remain in her soul, even as she did her best to smile and wave back to the human woman in a friendly manner.

"WELL, WHAT ARE WE WAITING FOR?" Papyrus asked with a bright smile, once he too got done excitedly waving back. "LET US GO GREET OUR NEW FRIENDS! AND THOSE ANCIENT TRAPS AND PUZZLES AREN'T GOING TO INVESTIGATE THEMSELVES!"

Something in his expression seemed to suggest to Toriel that he did in fact understand the weight this carried for her, and was being his usual uppity self to perhaps keep her from getting too spacey again. It was a subtle sort of kindness, and one she appreciated. She offered up a stronger smile and did her best to tame her warring emotions. After a silent check to ensure everyone was ready, they began their way down the hill towards the castle. Neither Frisk or Sans let go of her paws, further acts that made her soul grow warm within her.

Before they had even truly reached the area where the canopies and van were set up, the woman who'd been waving to them earlier came rushing over, looking as bubbly and giddy as could be. Such emotions felt somewhat unsuitable for a somber, ancient site such as this one in Toriel's opinion, but she didn't let that drive the courteous smile from her face. She gently freed her paws from her child and dear skeleton, wanting to be properly polite and shake the woman's hand. They both obliged without question, but stayed dutifully at her sides as the woman reached them.

"Oh Ms. Toriel, I am so honored you came!" She said, immediately reaching out to rapidly shake one of Toriel's paws, and not at all in a professional fashion. "Truly I give you my deepest thanks for your willingness to support our mission in restoring this incredible place. We hope it will become a great symbol of improving monster and human relations."

Toriel blinked, taking in the woman's appearance along with what she'd said. She was a fairly short, chubby older woman who looked to be around her 70s. She had a head of graying hair that looked as though it was once black and silky. She wore a large pair of glasses that had points at the ends and was in what one might call an explorer's type outfit, complete with muddy boots and gloves. Her jacket bore an insignia of Mt. Ebott, no doubt the symbol of her historical society. She was also fairly coppered skinned in a way that made Toriel think it was a trait of her racial heritage, rather than just the result of often being out in the sun.

Toriel was a bit taken aback by her enthusiasm and rather flippant behavior, having been expecting a stuffy, stoic, intellectual type from the formalities listed beneath the signature on the letter. Needless to say, this woman didn't exactly look or act like someone who'd earned a doctorate in historical matters. But one must not judge a book by its cover, Toriel reminded herself. Nonetheless, she offered a far gentler, less jarring handshake in return once the woman had stopped shaking her paw.

"Yes… You must be Dr. Burgundy." Toriel replied, grateful her voice maintained a formal, calm tone. "I… I thank you for contacting me. I was not actually aware my parents' castle was still standing. I figured it had been destroyed after it had to be abandoned."

Dr. Burgundy beamed in response, hopefully more so in regards to Toriel remembering her name than anything to do with the second thing she'd said. Toriel also couldn't help but notice she had oddly pearly white teeth for a human her age, so much so they glinted in the sunlight.

"That I am! Honored to meet you!" Dr. Burgundy confirmed, still in that same boisterous voice. "And oh yes! That is what King Asgore said as well. He was quite excited at the idea of passing on our letter to you!"

Toriel tried not to cringe at those words, and felt her teeth grit a bit as her smile threatened to falter. She wasn't on pleasant enough terms with Asgore yet to not get irritated at the idea of him trying to find any and every possible way to do kind things for her. Just like he had that stormy night he'd stayed in her home. It was a rare instance of kindness and consideration being wholly aggravating.

"I see…" She said simply, tone going a bit flat despite herself.

There was the slightest bit of a sign on Burgundy's cheerful face that she caught on to Toriel's uneasy response, but the doctor was distracted before she could potentially think on it too hard. She looked between the four others present beside her, her pale hazel eyes lighting up more and as they passed over each one.

"And hello to all of you as well! I of course recognize the renowned young ambassador and their little partner in crime." She said, excitedly gesturing towards Frisk and Flowey.

Frisk gave a simple polite nod in response, quiet as ever, and seemingly putting on a bit of their serious ambassador act. Flowey just rolled his eyes and sneered at the comment, thankfully choosing to keep any nasty potential replies to himself for once. Burgundy had already quickly turned to Sans and Papyrus before the flower monster really had a chance too say anything anyway.

"But you two, I don't think I've ever seen you before." She noted, adjusting her glasses as she looked them over like one might inspect a mysterious artifact. "More of her adopted kids? We've all heard the stories of how she welcomed all those children into her home."

She'd mostly been staring at Papyrus as she spoke, but once the words had left her she seemed to hone in on Sans. No one could hope to correct her before her assumptions only took root further at the sight of him. A hoarse sort of chuckle escaped her and her eyes seemed to sparkle a bit behind her thick glasses. In a flash, she was reaching forwards and patting Sans' skull in a manner most unbecoming of an adult monster.

"What a cutie you are! Such an adorable little skeleton.~" She cooed without lowering her volume.

Sans expression hardened with annoyance, sockets darkening and grin become stiff at the edges. Though it seemed to be more of an exasperated annoyance than anything. Something told Toriel this wasn't the first time something like this had happened to him. Before Burgundy could continue putting him through unintentional public humiliation, he sidestepped in one of his lightning quick dodges, ending up a few feet away in the blink of an eye.

"heh… no offense lady, but… don't do that." He said, sweat dotting his skull as he put his hands into his hoodie pockets.

He made quick work of regaining his usual casual humor though, grin loosening up again after a moment.

"you know what they say about assuming. it makes an ass out of  _u_  and  _me_." He quipped, shooting Burgundy a wink.

The woman looked taken aback, likely both by how deep Sans' voice was, and his notable use of such uncouth language to boot. Her mouth hung open for a moment, the realization as well as the joke apparently taking a bit to set in. Toriel snorted at Sans' clever wordplay, and resisted the urge to roll her eyes as she stepped over to rest a paw on his shoulder.

"Sans is not a child…" She said flatly, looking at Burgundy with some vexation on her dear skeleton's behalf. "He just happens to be short, plenty of monsters are by human standards."

"THAT'S RIGHT!" Papyrus chimed in, seemingly unbothered by also being misjudged as a child. "I TOO AM A FULLY GROWN MONSTER, SO WHILE YOUR KIND COMPLIMENTS ARE APPRECIATED, PLEASE KNOW THEY MAY NOT BE IDEAL FOR MONSTERS OUR AGE."

The younger skeleton flashed a wider grin after that, and gave his older brother a teasing look.

ALSO, SANS HAPPENS TO BE TORIEL'S… PARTNER.~" He clarified, clearly taking immense satisfaction in doing so. "THAT IS ALSO AN IMPORTANT DISTINCTION TO KEEP IN MIND."

Frisk nodded further confirmation from beside Papyrus, giving a thumbs up. Toriel felt her face heat up a bit at having that fact relayed in such a way. But she and Sans had long since decided to give up any pretense of keeping their relationship a secret like they had so many other things in their life. Their social media relationship status firestorm was all the proof of that. And in that same vein of acceptance, and perhaps to cheekily counter his little brother's attempts to fluster him, Sans lifted a hand out of his pockets and laid it on top of her paw.

"yup." He confirmed simply, with a casual sort of confidence.

Toriel couldn't help but smile and gave his shoulder a little squeeze with her paw before nodding her own confirmation. Burgundy blinked at the two of them for a moment, and Toriel could practically see the gears turning in her head, realizing the implications of all this. The doctor had clearly met Asgore before, and she like everyone else, monster or human, knew of their terribly troubled history. Though she and many others often still misapplied the Dreemurr surname to her on accident, as she had on her letter. It was hard to tell exactly what her thoughts were on the matter, but she was wise to keep any potential negative opinions to herself.

After a moment, Burgundy realized herself and snapped out of those thoughts. She looked briefly dismayed and guilty at her own misjudgements before slapping a hand to her forehead.

"Oh my goodness, darn it Lilith you old dolt." She exclaimed, before letting out a dramatic sigh and dropping her hand again. "I am so sorry. I hope you won't take offense. I can be such an airhead at times."

Sans shrugged his shoulders dismissively, smile softening further as the situation seemed to resolve itself.

"eh, none taken. i'm not one to sweat the  _little_  things." He quipped in reply with another wink.

This time, the pun seemed to hit its mark with the woman, and she belted out a hoarse but earnest laugh. That alone made it a little easier to look past some of her missteps in this conversation. Both Toriel and Sans would find it quite hard to hold a grudge against someone who genuinely enjoyed their puns. Quirky and airheaded as she might be, it seemed she was one of them. Papyrus and Flowey groaned in unison while Frisk let out a few quiet giggles into their hand.

After that, everyone exchanged more proper introductions as they walked with Burgundy towards the area with the canopies. The bright white, clearly new material felt downright alien amongst the crumbling ruins around them. Even more so were the trailers, generators, lights and other fixtures of modern technology dotted about the area. More humans were present too, most wearing a similar uniform to Burgundy's.

Some were examining and carefully cleaning what looked to be pieces of the castle that had fallen off in its centuries of decay, including a cracked head of an intricate stone dragon. Toriel recognized it as being part of the design of one of the main archways in the castle's entrance. Other humans were simply mulling about or seemingly preparing to go on a mission of some sort.

For a moment, none of them paid the group of monsters any mind, too absorbed in their tasks. As she passed though, one unoccupied human spotted her, and the unbidden gasp that left them summoned the eyes of all the others. They clearly recognized who she was, and their eyes stretched wide in an awed sort of shock, like they were looking upon a true living relic. And admittedly, in some ways, that was exactly what she was. Suddenly, none of the artifacts from the castle seemed to matter anymore.

Toriel felt her skin crawl under all those staring eyes, mentally kicking herself for not considering the possibility that the humans here would have just as much reason to gawk at her as monsters did. Thankfully, before any of them rushed over and inundated her with questions, Burgundy seemed to recognize her unease and spoke up.

"Now now all of you, back to work!" She demanded, managing to command quite an authoritative presence despite her short stature. "Don't be bothering our guest of honor before she even has a chance to look the place over!"

She made a sort of shooing motion with her hand, and it seemed her group had reason to obey her promptly. They all forced themselves to focus back on what they had been doing, but any pleasant chatter had ceased. A few continued to shoot subtle looks at Toriel, and she could practically see the excited questions they were all struggling to hold back. She turned away, figuring that was better for everyone involved.

She noticed then that Sans had tensed up a little at her side, no doubt noticing her sudden unease. It was such a subtle change that most would likely not even notice. That made her wonder if he had been planning to get between her and those eyeing her, like he had that night with Asgore. She laid a paw on his shoulder, and felt him relax again. Seeing him get defensive for her sake was still a mix of amusing and endearing, but she appreciated it nonetheless. Still, there was no sense in any of them giving these young humans a hard time.

They didn't know any better, nor could they possibly help being interested in meeting a monster who once lived in the very place they were studying. A former Queen no less. She held back a sigh, wondering if she'd ever truly be able to leave that stigma behind.

"So um… as one might expect, there was not much left inside." Burgundy said as she led them towards the towering shape of the castle's main entrance. "Some of our crew did an initial sweep and marked objects of interest, but nothing has been removed yet from the interior. Only a select few things found that had fallen off the exterior or found out in the outer grounds were extracted in hopes of salvaging them and determining what they once were."

Toriel let out a hum of acknowledgement in reply, right as they all came to a stop to look up at the dilapidated, but still greatly impressive architecture looming above them. The stone dragon's headless body perched high above amongst the other crumbling fixtures of the roof. The sight made Toriel's unsettled feelings about the place began to slowly return, washing over her soul like an icy stream.

It wasn't fear or even sadness, though they certainly played a role in it. No… it was more like the feeling she'd experienced after Sans had told her about the Resets. Just a sweeping sense of existential dread as she was faced with the full reality of her immortality. Mixed of course, with the memories she'd experienced within those castle walls.

Her gaze and thoughts were drawn back to Burgundy as she went on talking, looking as though she was still quite apologetic over the incident that had just occurred.

"We'd very much like for you to go ahead and walk the grounds first and let us know what you'd like us to do with the things that are left inside." She said, before her eyes lit up with excitement again. "Oh! And if you could answer a few of our questions about this great site, that would be fantastic as well!"

Everyone went quiet as they waited for her reply. The general unfocused state of her mind lately made it so she took just a bit longer than she should have to respond, just enough to be noticeable.

"I would like to take a look around with my family before anything else… if that is alright." She said at last, perhaps a bit flatly, but better than expected.

Burgundy certainly didn't seem bothered, and nodded quickly, causing her grayed locks to fall over her eyes briefly until she tossed them out of her face again with a shake of her head.

"Of course, Of course! Take your time." She insisted, hurriedly stepping out of the way and beginning to walk back towards the other humans. "We were all planning to have lunch in an hour or so, we'd love for you all to join us then if you wish. We can get all the boring legalities out of the way later."

With that, the portly doctor went to go address her group, who still seemed practically on the verge of exploding with excitement. Toriel decided lingering outside any longer would only invite more uncomfortable situations and turned again to face the castle. Now that the worst of the shock had worn off, she was beginning to feel strangely drawn to the crumbling remains of her old home. The darkness of the inside beyond the immense steel door, rusted, stained and warped with age, seemed to be calling to her. The deep unease remained inside her, but curiosity and an odd sort of homesickness was warring with it now as well.

She looked between the faces of the rest to her family.

"Well, come along then all of you. This castle is certainly not getting any younger." She said, managing a smile.

Reaching over, she gently took Frisk's hand again. The action brought a bit of nostalgia for the very first time she'd led them over that puzzle in the Ruins. The fact they were wearing that very same striped shirt from back then today helped with that as well. Indeed, their backpack and Flowey sticking out of it were the only parts of the sight that struck her as obviously different.

Now that she thought about it, they were all wearing the clothes they'd been wearing the fateful day they'd all been freed. Sans in his blue hoodie, Frisk in their striped shirt, Papyrus in his battle body (though admittedly he always wore that) and she in the robes she'd often donned in the Ruins.

She had made an effort recently to avoid the outfit for all the dark memories it carried, as well as for the symbol on it that was quickly becoming more controversial with human media twisting its meaning. But something about all of them wearing the same attire from that day just felt… right somehow. In a way she couldn't explain. Hopefully some of the brilliant joy of that day could come to her and give her strength now as well.

She offered her children a warm smile, for the first time that day able to face them without worrying about what had happened the night before.

"Just stay close to me, my children, it could be dangerous in some areas. This place is not exactly in the best shape." She said.

Flowey didn't reply other then with a minor flick of his petals. Frisk smiled back and nodded, gripping her paw and stepping close. Toriel could tell that they were somewhat grateful for the offer, as the castle was still quite intimidating for a small child. Well, Frisk had certainly seen far worse in their time underground, but she could imagine even they would feel better about facing something like this with someone to hold on to. It admittedly made her feel a little better too.

They all approached the great shape of the main castle entrance, gazes wandering over the architectural detail as well as the damage that marred much of it. Though cracked, choked with climbing ivy, and worn from the passing centuries, it held strong in its somber imposition. The cool feeling of the fractured marble steps under her paws invoked another sweeping sense of nostalgia, of climbing these very steps nearly every day when her paws were much, much smaller.

All of them stayed silent as they approached the hulking steel door, the only sound coming from the light wind through the overgrowth all around them along with the soft chatter of the group of humans back at the camp. The door, once ornate and shiny enough that it would catch the sunlight on a day like this, now it stood rusted and mangled like the gates of a long abandoned prison.

Some of the decorative bars were missing, torn out so that they left jagged stumps in their wake. And if one looked closely, they may be able to make out the erratic shapes of burn marks that stretched across the door's surface. Marks that Toriel knew the origins of all too well...

"WOWIE… THAT IS ONE BIG DOOR." Papyrus said in an awed tone, breaking the momentary silence.

Flowey strained upwards a bit on his stem to get a good look at it, narrowing his beady eyes in an incredulous expression.

"How the hell did you guys open this?" He asked with a huff. "It looks like it weighs like, a bajillion pounds."

That actually made Toriel smile a bit, though her teacher side was quickly summoned out as well.

"Now Flowey, surely you know a "bajillion" is not a real number." She lightly admonished, wagging a finger on her free paw. "And well, there was a bit of a trick to it, though with how rusted it has become…"

She paused, giving the door a wary look. Apparently the humans had gotten inside before, so the door must not be totally immovable. The light scrapings visible on the marble where the door had been pushed opened previously proved that as well. Well, there was no way to see if she could still get it open like she used to other than to try.

"One moment, my child." She said, releasing their hand and giving their head a pat before beginning to roll up her sleeves. "All of you stand back a bit."

They obeyed, all watching her curiously and with a healthy dose of skepticism. It made her giggle lightly, but did not dissuade her from the task at hand.

"y'know t, i can just pop us in there if you need me to." Sans reminded her, a touch nervously. "I wouldn't wantcha to strain yourself."

For a moment, she didn't reply, only finished rolling up her sleeves so the majority of her arms were exposed. It was more of a dramatic display than actually necessary, but still, no sense in getting her white sleeves dirty.

"Thank you dear, but it should be no trouble." She said with a grin that prominently showed off her fangs. "Besides, part of why we came out here was so you all could learn more about where I hail from, was it not?"

She stepped over to the door, running a paw over its now rough surface before continuing with her thought.

"I think seeing how I used to open our massive front door is a good start."

With that, she curled her paws around what remained of the large rungs of the door. As she did, heat began to gather in her paws.

 _"I sure hope this still works… otherwise I am going to make quite the fool of myself right now."_ She thought, before drawing in a deep breath through her nostrils.

On the exhale, flames surged from her paws and she noticed the rest of her family flinch a bit in surprise. But most of her attention was fixed on the rungs in her paws, as she waited to see if her fire would have the effect she expected. Sure enough, though the reaction was far weaker than it had once been long ago, intricate swirling patterns began to appear on the rungs.

They were faint, but steadily glowed with a fiery purple light as they took in her magic. The patterns spread upward through the ravaged door, swirling through the remains of the intricate designs like arcs of purple lightning splitting through a nighttime sky. She heard a few gasps behind her, and her sensitive ears picked up on even louder gasps likely coming from the humans down in the research camp. She sincerely hoped they wouldn't come rushing up on her to inundate her with questions against Burgundy's orders.

Focusing back on the door, she watched as the glowing patterns grew to cover the last of the door's broken form with a low hum. Once it had, she finally began to pull, willing the ancient rungs to hold firm and not simply shatter in her paws. At first, she wondered if the display of magic had been a fluke, but then, steadily, the massive doors began to give. It still took far more effort than it had back when she was young, but the magic flowing through the door seemed to indeed be fulfilling its purpose.

She steadily pulled both open, backwards step by backwards step. The doors groaned out a sound loud enough to hurt her ears a bit as she did so, the metal shrieking on their decrepit hinges and damaged structure. Finally, the darkness of the castle's interior was revealed, reminding her of how it had looked to peer down into Sans' underground lab. The lack of light wasn't truly comparable, given that the sun's rays were now being allowed to flow into the ancient building, but the feeling was the same. The feeling of entering a place heavy with memories, a place full of reminders of things probably best left buried in the past.

She didn't allow herself to get sucked into staring this time, forcing herself to turn and face the others again. She let out a relieved sigh of relief as she did so, wiping the sweat off the fur on her forehead with the back of a paw.

"Well, there we are." She said, then beginning to dust her paws off with a smile.

She was met with shocked expressions from everyone, no doubt at her perceived feat of strength, including the humans staring over at them from back at the camp. Even from a distance, their awe was clear. She ignored them in favor of addressing her family, figuring they were owed an explanation.

"My parents imbued the door with a spell for security purposes long ago, making it so the door opens easily, but only for those included in the spell." She explained, scratching at her cheek in a bit of a self-conscious gesture.

That lessened the shock on their faces a bit, but certainly not completely. Sans in particular seemed to shift from looking shocked to eyeing her in a rather smitten fashion, as though he'd found that little display attractive somehow. While the sentiment was appreciated, the blush that look summoned up on her did not make the situation any easier.

"Of course, its effectiveness has greatly faded over time…" She went on, composing herself to the best of her ability. "The spell used to make it so I could even open the door as a small child, but it has weakened to the point that it was not much help at all. Though, I imagine I had an easier time of it than those poor humans did at least."

She managed a smile and a light chuckle at that, imagining that it had taken quite a few of those humans a lot of tugging to get those immense doors open before. Everyone around her continued to look at her, as though expecting more. But it was Sans who broke the silence, smiling a silly, giddy kind of smile.

"geez tori…" He said, in an almost dreamy manner. "sometimes i forget just how strong you are."

The look on his face summoned up another laugh from her, stronger than the last. Perhaps if the situation was different she'd feel more flattered by the compliment. But as it was, this place cast too many shadows over her inherit strength, in all meanings of the word.

"Well… boss monsters were bred to have the power we do for a reason." She replied quietly, as she unrolled her sleeves back down.

Her smile had remained on her face as she spoke, but her tone and eyes carried a truly ancient sadness to them. After a moment though, she was able to quickly recover and amend the statement properly.

"But uh… thank you dear." She said, eyes regaining their warmth.

Stars, she really needed to get it together. There was still so much more of this place she'd have to face. The inside of the castle would surely contain remnants of her life here that would be far more affecting then vague musings of the nature of her species. She may still be rather shaken by the previous night's events, but she was a monster who'd endured the depravity of war and loss beyond what most people could even imagine. Facing her past shouldn't,  _wouldn't_  hold a candle to that.

And yet still, she hesitated. Even if it were only for a moment, it was an act she knew had not escaped her loved ones' notice. They were waiting for her signal, for her to lead them inside her old home. The claws on her feet curled a bit into the cold, cracked marble beneath her, rebelling and resisting against her will. Not allowing it, she forced herself to turn and once again peer into the ruined remnants of her family's castle. This time, she allowed herself to take it all in, and she could sense the others behind her were doing the same.

The interior was immense, somehow feeling even larger on the inside. Cracks and even some large holes in the outer walls allowed bright shafts of sunlight into the place, cutting through the darkness and highlighting the bits of dust swirling through the air. The creeping vines from outside invaded in through these holes as well, reminding her of a certain flower monster's attacks from her nightmares.

The centerpiece of the main entrance was a grand staircase, larger than it ever needed to be and curling elegantly upwards in two directions like a spiral set of wings. Well, it could be considered elegant, if not for the terrible damage it too displayed. With broken steps and rusted railings, its appearance was more in line with that of an old piano with a great number of missing keys.

Leading to the staircase was nothing more than cracked cold marble where there had once been a beautiful purple carpet accented with gold. She remembered the way it had felt on her paws, even now. Missing too was any of the overly fanciful furniture and art that had once adorned this room, no doubt stolen or destroyed by the humans who'd long ago ravaged this place. It made everything look and feel even more empty and alien to her than it already did.

Even with the light coming in though, the place was large enough that much of it remained in darkness, especially the back walls and the hallways extending from the main room. She could piece together a mental map from memories deep within her mind, but there was no doubt that the lack of light made the concept of revisiting this place all the more daunting. Maybe this hadn't been the greatest idea for a distraction after all. She was only trading one great unknown for another, and both carried their own sources of stress for her.

Still, she'd come too far to bail now, and she couldn't deny that the feeling of needing to see this through still lingered within her. As ruined, empty and desolate as this castle now was, it still was once her home. Nothing could change that, not even the centuries that had passed.

She slowly stepped through the doors, the soft clicking of her claws against the marble floor seeming so very loud in the immense, silent space. It took a moment, but everyone else soon followed, creating an echoey symphony of creaky bones and small boots tapping over the floor. Toriel decided to be the one to break the silence once they were all at her side again. Partially for her own sake, but mostly out of a desire not to make them all begin worrying over her too much. If that started now, it would surely only snowball into a true mess from there.

"Oh dear…" She said with a soft sigh, voice echoing slightly off the walls. "It is still rather dark is it not?"

Sans and Frisk looked up at her, and she could see a similar nervousness in their expression, even if a certain skeleton did a better job of hiding it. He let out a simple soft chuckle in reply while Frisk prepped their hands to sign to her. But they halted in their task as Papyrus piped up from beside them.

"I'LL SAY! I CAN HARDLY SEE A THING!" He exclaimed, and his loud, boisterous voice echoed noticeably off the walls.

The sound was somewhat eerie, as though there were other Papyrus' hidden in the dark sections of the castle calling out from further and further away. The castle had always echoed, but it had never seemed so… unnerving to her. No doubt the emptiness and decaying nature of the place was to blame for that. Frisk stepped closer to her in a small display of nervousness, and she promptly laid a reassuring paw on their shoulder. Papyrus though, did not seem spooked at all by the occurrence, sockets and smile widening with surprise in tandem.

"WOWIE! THAT ECHO IS NEAT!" He said, taking another moment to listen to the echo after that before continuing. "I CAN FINALLY HARMONIZE WITH SOMEONE WHO CAN MATCH MY GREAT SKILL. NYEH HEH HEH!"

His signature laughter carried through the ancient building once more, indeed sounding like a chorus of Papyrus' all cackling away. It was still a bit disconcerting, but the humor behind the sound this time did lighten the tension that had briefly gripped them all. Frisk relaxed with a soft, hoarse chuckle and didn't press quite as close to her. Sans seemed to be in thought, likely trying to think of a good "echo" pun judging from the mischievous twinkle to his eyelights. She prepared herself to have to hold back her laughter, not at all wanting to fill this place with such a loud, and admittedly rather obnoxious sound. Before he could seem to settle on anything though, Papyrus piped up again, perhaps noticing his brother's intentions and wanting to prevent any terrible, wonderful puns that wished to leave his brother's mouth.

"ANYWAY!" He said loudly as he brought his gloved hands together. "IT SEEMS OUR NEW HUMAN FRIENDS FAILED TO PROVIDE US WITH THE NECESSARY EQUIPMENT FOR THIS EXCURSION, NAMELY A SOURCE OF PORTABLE ILLUMINATION. I WOULD HAVE GREATLY ENJOYED A SPELUNKER'S HAT MYSELF!"

He mimed the action of turning on a headlamp, as though picturing himself wearing one. It furthered the amusement of the moment, and Toriel let a few giggles escape her. Flowey muttered something about Papyrus looking like an idiot, but he was promptly ignored by all of them.

"looks that way bro." Sans agreed from beside her, before turning to address her specifically. want me to bring out gb? he could offer some en _lighten_ ment."

Oh dear, and just when she'd let her guard down a little too. Thankfully, or perhaps sadly, depending on how one chose to look at it, she was too mentally overwhelmed by being in the castle to laugh her usual laugh. She did have to cover her muzzle with her paws though, in order to keep the giggles at bay. He seemed particularly pleased to get her to laugh in this situation, and she was deeply grateful for it, even if it meant making her look ridiculous.

"Very good one funnybones." She said after a moment, as Papyrus slapped a gloved hand to his face beside her. "But... that might not be best idea. Everything in here is bound to be very fragile, and some rooms might not even be fully stable. GB is a dear, but, he can also be quite clumsy."

The reply was both parts truth and lie. GB could be clumsy and excitable, there was little doubt about that, but in truth she would have been okay with having him out and helping them. Most of the reason behind her words was an effort to keep up their earlier lie regarding how the brothers' shared bathroom got damaged. It was a ruse they unfortunately had to remember to uphold, and she silently apologized to GB for it.

Sans blinked as understanding entered his expression. For a moment, she saw a flash of all the emotions connected to that fateful day, flaring up like a brief blaze of fire in his eyelights. But then it was gone, and replaced with his usual mask. He may have become accustomed to letting it down around her, but there was little chance that it would be allowed to fall around his brother, Frisk and  _especially_  Flowey anytime soon… if ever. Though even with that feigned smile in place, something in his own gaze seemed unsettled now, as though her words had stirred up something less than pleasant within him.

"heh, true. he'd... probably be uh... pretty scared of this place anyway." He commented, suddenly looking at the castle's long main corridor in a new manner.

She didn't know what it was about the sight that had suddenly seemed to occur to him to make him act that way, but she couldn't ask him at the moment. Not with his brother and her children here. So she was forced to say something to push them all forward, feeling they needed to get moving if they were ever going to keep the nerve to do this. But she would be sure to keep an eye on him when she could. When she wasn't inevitably distracted by being in her ancient, crumbling home again.

"I should light our way with fire magic." She announced, in a tone nearly reminiscent of her old, royal one. "It would be the safest method, and I could ensure its controlled."

Her voice seemed to bring Sans back to himself a bit more, though his expression still felt dull and stiff. He widened his grin in response, but they both could clearly tell it was little more than acting. Toriel couldn't help but wonder then if he had been reading her the same way all this time, watching her try, and likely fail, to seem composed about this little outing.

"sounds good to me." He agreed in a quieter voice, giving her a half hearted thumbs up before returning his hands to his pockets.

He seemed to fiddle with them inside there a bit, his eyelights and flat expression once again displaying he was caught up in some deep line of thought. After a moment though, he turned to face Frisk with a more convincing grin. She couldn't help but feel surprised by what he did next.

"hey kiddo, how about you stick with me instead so your mom can lead the way, huh?" He suggested, offering out his hand to the child.

Frisk seemed equally surprised by the offer, looking at the skeleton at first with a growing happiness but then eyeing his hand suspiciously. Anyone who had fallen for one of Sans' many pranks before would have known the reason why. Sans chuckled heartily in response, and Toriel was happy to hear that it too sounded real.

"ah don't worry, no whoopie cushions this time." He assured them with a wink.

Frisk still looked skeptical, and Flowey even more so from his place in their backpack, but the human child appeared to have come up with their own idea. They shyly signed something to Sans that she couldn't quite catch, but it made him blink in surprise. Now it was his turn to look hesitant it seemed, but only slightly so.

"oh uh… sure? i can try i guess." He conceded to whatever it was Frisk asked, rubbing the back of his neck vertebrae with a slightly lopsided grin on his face.

What he did next made it clear what Frisk had requested of him. The child smiled brightly and hurried over to stand behind him. Then they hopped up onto the skeleton's back, barely giving him the proper time to prepare for it.

"geez kid, you're heavier than i thought." He wheezed as he adjusted to accommodate them, slipping his arms under their legs to support them. "or maybe i'm just weak, heh, don't exactly have much muscle on these bones."

It was an admittedly amusing sight, seeing as Sans was not all that much taller than Frisk to begin with. He certainly was the least optimal of the adults here to be offering piggyback rides to her child, but the fact he was willing to do it at all made her smile. She couldn't be totally sure what had brought this on from Frisk's point of view, but they certainly looked happy with their chin and crossed arms settled atop his skull. And Sans, though clearly still a bit unsure about it all and having to put forth a good deal of effort to keep them up, still wore a genuine soft grin on his face.

"WE DON'T HAVE  _ANY_  MUSCLES SANS." Papyrus pointed out with a tone of exasperation.

Then he cringed a bit, when he seemed to realize that his statement had offered a perfect segway for another pun. An offer Sans was happy to take without missing a beat.

"true." He agreed with a showier grin, finally seeming to get Frisk into a comfortable enough position to carry them. "least that means nothing  _gets under our skin_."

Papyrus didn't even groan this time, just stared at Sans with an expression that portrayed all the years of constant bad jokes that he'd endured from his older brother. Sans chuckled to himself, seemingly having pulled himself out of his brief slip of emotion. Those fact made it even harder for Toriel to hold in her laughter, unable to keep a few undignified snorts from escaping. She'd been expecting almost that exact pun, but that somehow made it even better.

Papyrus wasn't the only one who didn't seem to approve though, as another voice full of irritation made itself known then.

"Ugh I am  _not_  gonna to be stuck here listening to your god awful puns during all of this." Flowey declared from his place in Frisk's backpack.

Clearly the flower monster was none too pleased at the idea of being indirectly carried by the skeleton. He appeared to be thinking for a moment, before heaving an overly dramatic sigh and gritting his teeth. He turned to look up at Papyrus, expression hesitant.

"Papyrus could you-"

Flowey didn't even have time to finish his request before Papyrus, obviously catching on, positively lit up in an instant. All his earlier annoyance evaporated immediately to be replaced with sparkling eye sockets and a smile bright enough to possibly illuminate the whole castle all on its own.

"YES! OF COURSE FLOWEY!" He affirmed in a tone flooding over with joy as he plucked the flower monster's pot out of Frisk's backpack. "ANYTHING FOR ONE OF MY BEST CHUMS! WE SHALL BE THE GREATEST OF CASTLE EXPLORING PARTNERS!"

She watched Flowey's expression go through a few shades of regret, but eventually he relented with a roll of his eyes. He allowed the skeleton to tuck his pot into the back of his scarf and tie it tight in order to ensure he stayed in place. Toriel even thought she may have seen a bit of pleased satisfaction in Flowey's beady eyes at Papyrus' method of carrying him, but that may have just been her imagination.

Her attention was drawn back to Sans and Frisk, meeting her dear skeleton's gaze with a concerned expression.

"My dear, are you certain you will be alright?" She asked, unable to keep from thinking about what had happened earlier on the hill. "I would not want you to exhaust yourself…"

Frisk looked a little guilty at that, making her regret her words a bit. But Sans was quick to give them a reassuring little pat. When he looked up at her again, Toriel could see the hints of the heavier emotions lingering beneath the surface again. Not for what was said, but something else that she could only guess at for the moment. For the task at hand though, he truly did seem okay with it.

"yah it's fine t, i was mostly just messing around. i can handle it." He assured her with a lazy wink. "i'm sure frisk will spar-"

He faltered, eyelights briefly shrinking to mere pinpricks of light before they returned to normal size. Even then though, they wavered a bit as what he'd almost said sunk in for all of them.

"uh... give me a break, i mean. if i end up showing myself to be too much of a wuss, heh." He amended quickly, but not quickly enough to stop the unsettled emotions that the words summoned up in all of them.

Frisk had tightened their grip on him, head hanging a bit so that the shadow from their hair covered their eyes. But they nodded, clearly doing their best to look unphased. Though if they had looked guilty before, it couldn't compare to what they must be feeling then. Sans didn't really respond, beyond the dulling of his eyelights once more. Toriel herself felt faintly chilled, but kept her composure. If her true reaction showed on her face, it would only prove to Frisk and Flowey further that she was aware, and had been aware of the full context of those words.

It would not do any of them any good to get worked up over all that right now. As irresponsible as it may be, they needed to avoid the subject and carry on with their ruse, at least until the children were ready to come to her themselves about whatever it was they were hiding. None of them spoke for a few moments, so Toriel decided to break the silence before it had a chance to persist. They needed to keep moving, in every sense of the phrase.

"Alright then." She said quietly, before promptly summoning two bright purple blazes of flame to her paws. "Try to stay close everyone."

Papyrus, who had remained oblivious to the brief moment of tension quickly turned around and hurried to her side. From his place within the skeleton's scarf, Flowey gave her a long hard look. Toriel didn't return his baze, forcing herself to avoid her child's beady eyes and pretend to be focused on her fire magic. She summoned up a ring of flame attacks that encircled the group, a simple spell, but a very effective one. The flames were warm and shared plenty of light but would not burn unless she willed them too. For now, they were simple lanterns in the darkness of this place, something to chase away centuries of gloom and decay that surrounded them.

As they all began walking towards the staircase, their individual footsteps echoed quietly off the stone and marble around them. Toriel had just started forward without any obvious destination in mind, but they were all following her now, expecting her to lead. But… stars… where to even begin? The castle was enormous and so was the list of things she could tell them about both it and herself. Then again, if all of it had been stripped bared like this… perhaps there would be little in each room that would warrant spending too much time there. That felt like a blessing and a curse, yet another confused batch of emotions to join the others swirling about in her soul.

She settled on the most clear path, the one her paws had been taking her towards since the beginning. The photos that had been sent to her confirmed that part of it was still partially intact, still standing after all this time. The throne room.

It was the room that the first flight of stairs led to, the one whose entry arch was dangerously cracked, and the doors that once filled that arch, now gone without a trace. A memory of spears bursting through the soft white wood of that door flared up in her mind briefly, making steps falter momentarily before she steadied herself again. There were good memories to hold onto there as well after all. Getting in trouble for leaving her brightly painted paw prints all over the door as a child, sneaking past the guards that once stood there while her parents were meeting with important figures, listening for the familiar creak as she slept on the soft cushions of her father's throne, signaling he was home from a long trip.

So many memories that had been buried under the passing centuries began to become clear again. Unlike the lost memories from the resets she'd been regaining lately, these at least were not coupled with a splitting headache. But that didn't mean remembering them was painless either.

"I think the throne room would be a good place to start." She said, once they'd reached the bottom of the stairs. "I imagine much of what has survived all this time would be in there, judging from the photos."

Papyrus' eyesockets sparkled with anticipation, looking all around the staircase expectantly.

"OH GOODY! WHAT SORT OF PUZZLES DID YOU USE TO GUARD THIS MOST IMPORTANT OF ROOMS?" He asked in a giddy tone.

She offered him a small smile, one tinged with apology.

"None for this room I am afraid." She said, casting her eyes up at the entrance to the throneroom. We had armed guards at all times in this area, the puzzles were mostly installed in the sections of the castle where we stored items of importance. I… have my doubts any are still working, but we can certainly go take a look."

Papyrus seemed a touch disappointed at that, but nodded regardless. Beside him, Sans eyed the stairs warily, clearly dreading the prospect of having to climb them whilst carrying a child on his back. Frisk seemed to sense this and shifted a bit in anticipation of having to get down, but Sans lifted them right back up into position.

"ah it's s'alright kiddo." He assured them with a wink. "i know a shortcut."

With that, most certainly just for comedic effect, he walked around the corner of the staircase and out of sight.

"SANS, DON'T YOU D-" Papyrus began, but by the time he'd started speaking, a momentary flash of blue light was visible at the top of the stairs.

When the light vanished, it revealed Sans standing there, grinning down at them from high above. Frisk looked a bit dazed, but not nearly as much as Toriel often felt when being teleported. Heck, it almost looked like they had found the act a bit fun. Still, both she and Papyrus gave Sans stern looks, for mostly different reasons. Papyrus was primarily bemoaning his brother's laziness, and Toriel was more concerned with how reckless that act could have been.

Sans quickly realized he'd made a mistake and shot them both a nervous, sheepish smile.

"sorry bro, tori, old habit." He apologized, soft voice echoing down to them with a subtle vibration. "i won't do it again, heh. no sense popping around a place i don't know."

Toriel let out a quiet sigh, but her expression softened again after that as she took her first step up the stairs.

"It is alright, my dear." She assured him, elevating her voice a bit to be heard, which gave it the same eerie quality as it echoed that made the fur on the back of her neck stand up. "It may have very well been the safest method for you in particular. But yes, you should refrain from using your shortcuts while we are here. It is important we stay together."

She glanced back at Papyrus, who was grumpily following along behind her. Flowey had stayed rather quiet through the conversation, but his expression gave away little more than vague annoyance. She met the skeleton's gaze before continuing.

"Be careful on your way up, these stairs are ancient, and most of the railings are long gone." She said, nodding to a more ruined section of the stairs.

"NOTED… NYEH HEH…." He replied with a somewhat nervous chuckle.

After the steady and careful process of ascending the rest of the staircase, wherein the most that occurred was a lot of avoiding cracked sections, they reached the top and joined Sans. He gave them both another apologetic look, then made a bit of a show of staying by her side as they all entered the throne room.

Without the door that once guarded it, the majority of the room was visible to them all from the outset. She heard a lot of quiet gasps from the others once more, but she stayed silent as she walked inside and took in the sight before her. The shock of seeing a place she'd once spent years upon years residing in reduced to such a sad shadow of itself had worn off a bit by then. Plus, she had somewhat known to expect from the photos sent of this location. However prepared she was though, there was no making this experience easy.

As the photos had shown, the large room now lay nearly totally empty save for the remains of the two marble thrones in its center, a cracking and near bleached stained glass window stretching over the back wall and the intricate designs carved into the walls of the room itself. Unlike the paintings and statues that centuries ago also occupied this space, the art on the walls appeared to be the sole survivors by nature of being part of the building itself. Most of it was just ornate decorative fluff, meaningless and only for base aesthetic appeal, but even then it could be considered a marvel of design.

Personally though, she greatly preferred how she and Asgore had set up their throne room. Far more of a welcoming environment with its flowers and open design than this overly fanciful hall of cold marble.

"woah. that's a lot of… real fancy art." Sans commented, eyelights slowly wandering around the room.

Frisk mirrored the motion from their place on his back, blinking inquisitive eyes as they took it all in. Papyrus had already hurried over to look at the thrones, squinting and rubbing his chin as he did so as if he were trying to find some secret amongst the ancient runes inscribed on it. Flowey just eyed the room as though it were as unimpressive as any other, normal room. Toriel smiled a soft little smile, regarding it all with far less enrapturement than the rest of her family.

"Garish, is it not?" She said with a chuckle, one with something akin to embarrassment to it. "And that is just what was carved in and unable to be stolen. Back in the old days, the royal family could afford to be far more extravagant then we ever could Underground. If you had seen this place during its heyday, it would make the castle we had down there seem wholly unremarkable by comparison."

Her tone gained a cynical edge then as she looked at the ceiling, where a hole ringed with cracks marked where there had once been a massive golden chandelier. She had particularly clear memories of laying on her father's lap while he manned his throne and trying to count all the gemstones interlaid throughout it. The exact number was long lost to time, but it had been somewhere in the hundreds.

"Of course, it all seems terribly silly now." She said through an embarrassed sort of grin. "We had no need for such wealth, especially just for the sake of tradition and keeping up appearances. But it would have still been a sight for you all to see."

Beside her, Sans seemed to be searching her eyes for the right way to reply to that. She couldn't blame him. She was not at all sure what sort of tone she should be using either. Part of her felt she should be somber, stoic, even mournful over the state of her former home and all the memories it contained. But the part of her fighting not to let the stress of everything get the better of her was positively dying for an excuse not to have to feel that way. Unfortunately, making light of things did not come nearly as easy to her as it did to him. But that was just one of the many reasons she was so lucky to have him in her life, was it not?

"heh, i'll bet. probably was real  _priss_ -stine, right?" He quipped, settling on replying with a joke.

It was just what she needed, and she giggled noisily into a paw. She was so caught up in the needed bit of humor that her short fluffy tail even gave a few happy flicks behind her. She wasn't quite enough in her usual mindset to think of a pun in return, but she was ever so grateful to have a reason to be a bit more lighthearted.

"Oh certainly!" She said, a lilt of laughter remaining in her voice. "The servants used to polish the marble until it all but sparkled in the sunlight. I know that sounds nice, but really all it meant was that you had to stay on the carpets or risk slipping onto your rump in the middle of an important meeting."

While it hadn't been a pun, it was enough to get Sans to chuckle in return. While she'd been speaking, Frisk must of indicated they'd like to be put down to explore the room. For he carefully set them down before replying. Her child had seemed, understandably, a little nervous of the castle when they'd first arrived, but now she was seeing the spark of curiosity in their soft brown eyes that all of them were all far more used to witnessing from the human. They giggled softly at her comment too before walking over to join Papyrus and Flowey by the thrones.

"i take it you speak from experience then?" Sans asked through a snort of amusement, quirking a brow ridge at her.

Her smile turned a bit sheepish then, and a light blush formed on her cheeks as she cast her thoughts back to that time.

"Unfortunately." She reluctantly confirmed, before giving him a playful little swat with a paw when he began to chuckle again at her expense.

The moment was nice, and while it lasted, she was able to not feel too overwhelmed by the situation. Maybe… the whole rest of the trip could be like this. Just… reflecting on the lighter sides of her childhood that were buried and lost beneath the dark shadow of war. Maybe that would be better than trying to explain the endless horrid things that had occurred here, no matter how much the memories burned within the deepest parts of her soul. Focusing only on the good the past held… the silly, mundane, beautiful, little moments that shaped her early life. It would certainly be a more pleasant change of pace.

But all hope of that was quickly lost, blown away as though by a chilly mountain gale, as her child drew her attention over to them and began to sign.

(Mom, are those… are they… your parents?) Frisk asked, with an innocent curiosity.

She blinked at them, slowly, the question taking her off guard in the moment of levity. Then her eyes were inevitably drawn up to the remains of the great stained glass window that once served as an elegant backdrop to her parent's thrones. It was a miracle it had survived all this time. And it made her wonder then, just why had the humans that had driven them from this place not destroyed it like they had everything else? Why had they spared her home at all…?

The image it displayed was almost indecipherable, rendered nearly as meaningless as the carvings decorating the walls by the passing of ages. But if one looked closely, they could just make out the faint shapes of two boss monsters standing side by side. One tall, with a black mane and adorned in silver armor. The other nearly totally covered by a black cloak, save for one unbroken horn and a regal golden crown atop their head.

The part that once contained Toriel's image between them was the most damaged, leaving her space in the family portrait just a mess of cracks and holes for the sunlight to seep through. It was darkly ironic in a way, that it be her image that was lost, given how she had eventually come to abandon the crown and her royal title. No doubt the only boss monster to ever do so. Her soul churned the magic inside her in a sickly manner, and she had to force herself to look away before she could finally answer her child.

"Yes dear, they are indeed." She confirmed at last, scarlet eyes hazy. "That window is… perhaps the only surviving image of them left that was made while they were still alive. This was before the age of cameras and photographs of course, so a painting or other art piece like this was one of the only ways to capture what someone looked like."

The room went silent, save for the faint sound of birds twittering from somewhere within the abandoned castle, echoing in that same eerie manner. All other eyes went to stare at the ancient art, briefly transfixed by the image. Toriel kept her eyes away, feeling as though her parent's gazes, especially her mother's were bearing down on her in that moment. A great shame began to burn within her soul.

From his place tucked in Papyrus' scarf, Flowey in particular perked up with interest from her words and stared up at the stained glass with wider eyes. Another odd display from him, but like all of those thoughts she banished them for the moment in order to focus on the here and now. She couldn't get wrapped up in wondering why the flower monster had an interest in such things. Instead, she resigned herself to the fact she was going to have to share the same story she'd shared with Sans.

It was part of the reason they'd all come here, after all. She was tired of keeping secrets, or at least... keeping the past from her loved ones, running from what she used to be. And while some things simply couldn't be shared, those secrets that were not her own, she could at least tell them things like this. Make it clearer to them all how she became the monster she was today. This would only be the start, surely, but every journey must have its first step, did it not?

She took a deep, slow breath before walking over to stand between the two thrones. When she came to a stop and turned to face them, she had, unbeknownst to her, aligned herself with where her image in the stained glass window was missing. From the angle the others were standing, it would look as though it were finally filled for the first time in centuries. The wayward princess and runaway queen... returned to the throne at last, if only in spirit. The sunlight from the hole shone behind her, and formed something of a halo around her body as she looked down at those dearest to her.

All eyes and attention shifted to her then, and she found herself facing a sight she'd once been quite accustomed to as queen. Enraptured gazes staring up at her, as though she were some wonder to behold, even Flowey seemed to be looking at her as if seeing her for the very first time. It stirred a old, deep ache in her soul. One of disdain for being viewed that way again, vexation at how very silly the situation was, and maybe, just maybe, a small hint of longing for times long past. Regardless, she did all she could to hold herself high and address them just as she was taught when she once lived in this castle.

"Long ago, many centuries in fact… I was born in this very castle. To the king and queen of the western monster kingdom of that time. King Manual and Queen Guia..."

She went on then, speaking to her enthralled audience in a tone close to her royal one. All except Sans, who knew all this, but was doing a good job feigning surprise and interest in her words. Well… given what he has said about her in the past, it may be fair to say he wouldn't need to feign interest. She was sure she could talk about anything and he'd be happy to listen. Their time together at the Ruins door had certainly proved that.

And the way he was staring at her… It… was like he was truly transfixed by the sight of her. And, though it was hard to tell from where she was standing, she thought she saw those heart shaped eyelights reappear in those wide, round sockets of his. The sight brought a light blush to her face and almost shy sort of smile, but it also brought a warmth to her soul that helped her continue on.

She told them all she had told Sans before, giving what seemed like a fair overview of the monsters who had brought her into this world. Well, perhaps she did not tell them  _all_ that she had told Sans. Some of it was… just too personally painful to go into detail with right then, inside the place where they had once lived.

And she didn't mention her often strained relationship with her mother. Though one may have been able to pick up on that fact from how little she apparently had to say about her in comparison to her father. They didn't need to know about that particular detail just yet, and so she approached the topic as though she were giving a lecture at her school, rather the emotional, personable talk she had had with Sans the last time mention of her parents left her lips. Speaking about it this way, somewhat detached, did make it easier this go around.

When she finished recounting what came easily, she paused and looked down at them all to gauge their reactions. Their awed staring had died down by this point, softening to a look of simple investment in her story. This time it was Flowey who looked to have a question for her. She nodded a weak encouragement to him and he seemed to debate with himself for a moment before deciding to speak.

"Why... is she wearing that hood over her head?" He asked hesitantly, seemingly a little embarrassed about the question.

Toriel had been expecting that to come up at some point. She smiled a sad kind of smile as memories came rushing back, bringing with them an unruly coil of emotions. She turned her head briefly to glance up at the image of her mother behind her.

"Well…" She began, eyes becoming a little hazy again. "My mother, she… her face had a lot of… scars on it."

That piqued everyone's interest again, and Toriel knew she had to elaborate at least… a little more than that. She drew another steadying breath before continuing, pressing her claws into the front of her dress.

"She was attacked when I was young. A group of humans from an... an extremist group of the time, they attempted to assassinate her, and likely intended to do the same to the rest of us as well if they had not been stopped." She explained, grimacing a bit. "They caught her alone outside… and used this strange, terrible spell to attack her. She was able to fight them off until the guards came to assist but… not before taking grievous damage to her face where that first magical attack had struck."

Her instinct then was to look back at her mother's portrait again, but she found she couldn't face even a depiction of her mother in glass in that moment. She could practically feel her mother's single working eye boring into her back, just like it had so often all those centuries ago.

"She… was never the same after that." She concluded after a moment, crossing her arms in an attempt to hide the fact her paws were threatening to shake.

There was silence again for a few moments, and she got the sense they understood she wasn't keen on saying much more on the subject for the moment. She was about to get down off the elevated throne platform, when she felt a small tug on her dress. She flinched a bit despite herself and looked down to see Frisk looking up at her. Their expression was difficult to read, but she could definitely see concern there. She had a feeling if she had the nerve to look, the others would be wearing the similar expressions.

Having gained her attention, Frisk began to sign once more.

(I guess… that means they are my grandma and grandpa, right?) They asked, with a small smile.

That gave Toriel pause. She… hadn't really thought about it that way before. Even when she had Asriel, she rarely told him much about his grandparents other than the occasional vaugaties or historical fact, and by the time Chara fell she would be hard pressed to bring them up at all. But with Frisk now knowing about them… well… being adopted made no difference in them being her family of course. And the same could be said about Flowey now as well. Even if she knew one of those potential grandparents… would be none too pleased about her adopting children… especially a  _human_ child.

But again, her children didn't need to know that. That was one secret she could keep… for their sake. If only for now. The last thing she wanted to do was dull the soft sparkle the question had summoned in Frisk's eyes, or discourage what was clearly an attempt to cheer her up.

"I suppose so, my child, yes… you and Flowey both." She replied, willing up a small, but warm smile on to her face.

Frisk's expression brightened, and she got the feeling that this might have meant more to them than she initially imagined. Perhaps it had something to do with whatever their own previous family situation had been, before they had fallen down beneath the mountain... and into her life. They peered up at the ancient window and smiled up at the faint portraits as if the monsters depicted were truly there in front of them.

(Nice to meet you, grandma, grandpa.) They signed up to them. (I hope that wherever you are now, you are happy that humans and monsters are getting along better, and that we are all free.)

The words made Toriel's soul grow warm inside her, even if she knew that the gesture was little more than an honorary one. Her parents would not have been able to understand Frisk's sign language even if they had indeed been standing before them. Unless of course her lost memories regarding Gaster had more to hide from her, that is. Regardless, it was the thought that counted here, and she reached over to rest her paw on her child's back, smiling down at them.

Frisk looked back up at her, and it seemed they were not quite done with their signing yet. After giving her a look she couldn't quite parse, they turned back to the portrait again. This time with a hint of their usual determined look in their eyes.

(Toriel is the best mom ever.) They signed, and she could feel the conviction behind the words from their soul itself as its magic met her paw. (I hope you… are proud of her. Like she is proud of me.)

Her soul seized up inside her at that, not expecting such a compliment. It brought mixed emotions, as it always would given her troubled history with motherhood in general. She knew deep down she could never fully accept such a title, even just from the idealistic mind of a child. If anything, she was a mother who was making all the effort she could to do her best for her children, rather than actually being close to what could be considered the best. Not to mention, she knew for a fact that at least one of the grandparents Frisk was addressing would certainly, positively,  _not_  be proud of her at all. The opposite was far more likely, if the monster in question would have even been able to look at her after witnessing all her failures...

Despite those feelings though, the words still touched her deeply and she just had to pull her child into a hug for their kind words. They happily accepted it, gripping onto her with a soft sound that served to reaffirm their signed statement. She squeezed them tight for a few moments, as though that would somehow negate everything else swirling about in her mind.

"I  _am_  proud of you Frisk." She said, her words carrying a more weight than she intended. "So proud."

For now, she didn't let what had happened yesterday, or any of the terrible knowledge Sans and her dreams had revealed to her, poison those words. For none of that took away from the truth behind them. She was so proud… and so thankful. More than she could ever hope to articulate, even if her mind wasn't clouded and unstable as it was.

"Thank you, my child…" She said in a softer voice as she released them again to look into their eyes. "I will certainly keep doing my best to raise you and Flowey. And... live up to those words."

Frisk seemed delighted by her response, even if she could see that they too carried a certain weight behind their eyes. The cause of which… she could only hope they would tell her soon. She could feel Flowey looking at her too in that moment, as though reading her thoughts through the act of staring at the back of her head. The urge to turn and look at him was persistent, but she feared what exactly she'd see in those beady black eyes, be it further recognition that she knew more than she let on, or something even more telling. In the end when Frisk stepped away off the throne platform, Flowey's gaze followed them and she was able to relax again for the moment.

She watched after them as they convinced Sans and Papyrus to take a closer look at the other art with them, lightly tugging on their sleeve and scarf. Both skeletons gave Toriel a look filled with a mix of emotions regarding what they had just heard from her, one of them giving her a particularly lingering look tinged with understanding. But then both brothers, practically in tandem, smiled brightly at Frisk and allowed the child to lead them over to look at the art carved into the walls more closely.

Toriel took a moment then to herself, looking down at throne platform beneath her feet. The claws of her toes curled against it as the warring emotions and unwelcome memories the sight of it summoned were dredged up inside her. That made her step off of it quickly, enough to stumble just a bit. No… not ever again. Not even in this ruined relic of the past. She had left that life behind, and it would stay that way. She righted herself and dusted off her dress before turning with the intention of joining the rest of her family. They likely would have further questions about all the wall carvings in here after all, better to see to that before moving on.

Just then, a sound from behind her made her ear twitch. A single footstep that echoed ever so faintly. She paused and turned then by instinct… and in the archway entrance of the throne room… She saw something. Or rather, someone.

For just a moment, maybe more, maybe less, she was sure she'd seen what looked to be a human. Tall and slender, with short brown hair and donning a long, worn, brown poncho. In their hand, they were clutching a spear, and on their head was a crown of bright golden flowers.

But after a blink of her eyes, just as before, the figure had vanished, perhaps never having been there at all. In its place though, was a single golden petal resting on the ancient marble floor.

She stared at it for a few moments, transfixed. Had that only been an illusion conjured up by her increasingly unstable mind? Or… had she just seen…?

Papyrus called over to her from behind the thrones then, wishing to inquire about a specific decorative carving. She snapped herself out of her stupor and replied back to him, promising to be there in just a moment. Before she did though, she went to the archway and picked up the petal, holding it up briefly so that it caught the sunbeams coming through the shattered stained glass. Perhaps she was only imagining it but… it almost seemed to glow in the multicolored light.

She slipped it into her sleeve for safekeeping, and headed over to the others. For some reason, she felt as though she should hang on to it...


	29. Duality

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ((Hello all, sorry for vanishing yet again. Life continues to come at me all at once when I least expect it. I'll spare you all the details, but the full story includes abrupt trips overseas to deal with family stuff, really bad illnesses and getting caught up in a scammy job opportunity that really messed me up for a while. Needless to say, things have been rough. But! I am recovering from it all well and will surely push through it to get back on my feet again. In the midst of all of it I have blessed with wonderful support from family and friends, and making what little progress I could on this fic and other creative projects I have been a part of has really helped me too. Especially since a lot of these two chapters was rather cathartic for me to write while going through it all.
> 
> Hopefully to serve as some consolation for the long wait, I have two chapters for you all. (Chapter 30 will be going up right after this one) Well, okay, it was again supposed to all be one big chapter but it just ended up being too long, so its gotta be split. But I think it works out much better this way. I hope you enjoy ^^ and will be willing to bear with me as I push on towards this fic's final arc. Those chapters should hopefully come sooner than these two did, if life decides to be kinder to me going forward~ Thanks so much for your continued support on this story, it truly warms my heart to know you enjoy it.))
> 
> ((Warnings for this chapter: Mentions of death and violence))

After the emotional escapade that was their time in the throne room, exploring the castle seemed to come a little bit easier for all of them. Toriel was a little more confident in guiding them through the ancient halls, feeling as though the hardest part of all this was behind them now.

Well… perhaps one of the hardest anyway. She had kept quite vague about some things, but the question of how she was eventually driven from this place, why it was abandoned in the first place, was bound to come up sooner rather than later. And there was no way that story would be in any way easy to share.

For the moment though, she focused on the task directly at hand. Room by room. Many of them she skipped, either because they all proved to be just empty shells, or because there was nothing truly of note to speak of about them. At least, compared to the areas of interest she wanted to see most. After clearing much of the ground floor, the nearest of which proved to be her bedroom, just up the first once grand flight of stairs.

She led them through the arduous upward journey to the second floor, pausing at the top to take in the sight around her. The upper levels were no better off than the ground floor it seemed. The same damage and evidence of the centuries that had passed was apparent all around them. Along with the same lack of the features and decor that had once made this place feel inviting, not just a massive collection of empty marble halls. The occasional holes in the walls of the castle were present here too, revealing the brilliant blue sky beyond them. She could see one was currently housing a bird's nest, and the occupants were watching her curiously from their perch high above.

She sighed quietly, turning away from the sight and taking a step along the same path she must have walked a thousand times over during her childhood. It was the path that led to her old bedroom, the first door on the left. Or rather, first… gaping entryway to the left, for the doors had long since been destroyed, leaving only the twisted, rusted remains of a set of hinges sticking out from the wall like gnarled claws. She eyed them with something of a grimace as she approached the room, hearing the sounds of her family reaching the top of the stairs behind her.

She glanced back for a moment to see they too were briefly caught up in looking around, and Sans was back to panting a little from the bit of exercise he'd just endured. Frisk again looked worried and seemed to move to get down, but he patted their leg again to reassure them to stay where they were, seeming oddly dedicated to the task of carrying them. She left them be for the moment, feeling her gaze and attention drawn almost irresistibly to her old room. The last time she had been here, the door frame had seemed much taller than it did now…

As she stared up at it, suddenly she found Sans and the others had come over to join her while she was lost in thought. She flushed a bit for her spaciness, apologetically, but she was met with nothing but understanding looks. Sans in particular reached out and laid a hand against her arm, and the lights of his eyes told her everything she needed to know. That was enough reassurance to return a small smile to her face, and for her to continue to lead the way inside.

Her old bedroom, like most things they'd encountered, proved to be quite smaller than she remembered. And yet… also larger with how utterly empty it was. Just another empty marble box, filled with nothing but cobwebs, dust, and the memories that dwelled in the deepest parts of her mind. Memories that, with little prompting, began stirring again after being dormant for centuries. They allowed her to paint an internal picture of the place she once knew, and she could almost see it all before her eyes.

The grand white bed frame with the hand carved floral design etched into the wood, the silky purple sheets, the plush gold satin pillows that had been big enough to nearly swallow up her whole head when she had laid against them. That along with fancy rugs, even fancier curtains, a massive wardrobe of obtusely formal clothing and all sorts of beautiful paintings had been what this room had once been proud host to. But now… there was simply… nothing.

"This… was my old room." She said simply to her family, eyes wandering to the hole that had once been her window. "Not much to see nowadays I am afraid, but long ago… it was just as overly decadent as the throne room was."

There was a few moments of continued silence from behind her, until Papyrus broke it with a bit of nervous laugh.

"WOWIE! IT SURE IS UH…" He said, before trailing off, searching for the right words.

"As empty and pointless as the last three rooms?" Flowey cut him off, in an openly bored tone.

She couldn't be sure, but from the pointed silence that followed those words, she got the feeling the flower monster was receiving no end of glares from the others for that comment. It was silly really. He was right of course. Did she really seem so emotionally fragile at the moment that they deemed her in need of protection from Flowey's usual biting comments?

"NO FLOWEY, I WAS GOING TO SAY… ER… " Papyrus quickly cut in again, but still took a second before settling on a word. "SPACIOUS! I COULD FIT FIVE OF MY OLD BEDROOMS IN HERE!"

It was a good "save" she supposed, and Sans and Frisk both were quick to agree and chime in with their own attempts at positivity. It kept the small smile on her face intact, at the very least touched by their efforts, even if it still made her feel a bit patronized perhaps.

"Yes… It was certainly quite excessive for a small child to say the least." She agreed in a quiet tone, eyes continuing to wander the room and remembering what once was.

Something caught her eye then, prompting a small surge of excitement to reignite in her soul. A sweeping sense of nostalgia filled her as she spotted the tall support beam in the back corner of the room. Unlike everything else, it had remained, and even that small victory brought warmth to Toriel's soul. She walked over to it, feeling emotion clench at her soul as her eyes traveled over its worn, cracked surface. Etched into the marble along the beam's height were small, deliberate nicks, perfectly carved out by flame coated claws with the intent of being noticeable. Beside them, just barely visible in a select few spots, was ancient style writing.

Even after all this time, and the destruction wrought on this place, those marks had still survived. Most of the writing done by her father's paw was long gone, but remnants still lingered where the fire magic used had burnt particularly strong. They had been put there to indicate her height as she grew, a new one added every birthday or during some other significant event in her life. She could make out the markers for her fourth birthday, her eleventh birthday, her eighteenth birthday and her… wedding day. That last one was the final mark that was ever etched into the marble. The last event that she spent here considered worthy of marking her height for... before everything to fell to pieces.

She ran a paw over the marks, expression softening to something of a nostalgic smile, but one that didn't quite meet her eyes.

"Take a look here everyone." She said after a moment once she remembered herself again. "The place my father used to mark my height during milestones of my life, it has managed to survive all this time."

She stepped back then to allow the others to gather close for a look of their own, finally getting to see something more interesting than empty rooms. Because of how starved they were for that, they all gazed at the marks on the pillar with wide eyes, making it out to be far more interesting that it really was it seemed.

Sans too reached out to touch the pillar as well for a moment, resting his bony hand against marble that was marked centuries before he had ever even existed. Frisk followed suit a moment after, reaching up and running their fingers over the notch for her ninth birthday. At the time, she had been nearly their exact same height, save for the small nubs of her horns giving her the edge.

"that's real cool t." Sans said, slipping his hands back into his pockets. "hard to believe you were ever so tiny."

She smiled at that, though it remained somewhat weak. Her eyes wandered down to that first mark on the pillar. The writing was long gone, but she imagined it must have been from her first birthday, judging by how many marks were present overall. It was so low on the pillar, she wouldn't have even come up to her own knee at the time.

Funny to think… if she'd somehow kept making marks for every year she lived, that final mark in the stone that indicated her wedding day would have been added too, marked deeper again and again every year until it carved its way clean through the pillar and into the wall behind it. Hundreds upon hundreds of notches, but not one inch of change.

"Yes…" She agreed quietly. "Hard to believe indeed…"

Once the words left her, she realized that they would bring about yet another awkward silence with everyone pinning her with those pitying eyes, save Flowey of course. She really didn't want that, not now when her mind was threatening to fail her from the myriad of strained thoughts that bore down on it. Though she knew she would not have been able to resist coming here regardless, she wished at that moment that she hadn't added all these sweeping thoughts on the nature of her past on top of everything else she had to worry about. She had meant this as a distraction, but it was quickly becoming far more than that.

Resolved to keep moving in order to not let her thoughts stew further, she turned then and began to head for the room's opening.

"Well, that is all there is to see here I am afraid." She said, in a slighter stronger voice. "Let us move on… I think that next we shou-"

Her words were interrupted then by a loud, irritated groan from Flowey. The sound made her stop in her tracks and look back at him over her shoulder. He was giving her a truly irritated look, petals stiff and flared out. The others looked at him too, but more with a mix of concern and anger on her behalf.

"Seriously? How much longer are we going to do this?!" He complained with quite the dramatics, flopping over in his pot. "Mom, you've taken us to the throne room, the kitchen, the royal bedroom, the secret room under the stairs, even the dumb, bookless library!"

The flower monster perked himself back up again, making a sweeping gesture with his leaves.

"And guess what they all had in common? They were all totally  _empty_. Besides two thrones and that one chunk of a statue we found, there is  _nothing_ left in this place!"

The words hung for a moment, bringing an odd sort of sting to her soul that didn't seem to know whether it wanted to inspire anger or tears. In the end, after being forced down like everything else, it only manifested in something of a stern, disappointed frown on her face. She kept her gaze on Flowey and avoided looking at the others, suddenly worried what sort of expressions they'd be wearing.

"Now Flowey, it is not polite to shout. Nor to be needlessly rude. You know that." She said, in just enough of an authoritative tone to make Flowey deflate from his moment of anger a bit.

He huffed, but mumbled out something that might have been an apology… maybe. It was good enough for her at the moment, and in a way she had to thank him. His words just then had been something of a wake up call, pulling her from the haze of her troubled, aimless thoughts. Only then did she realize what an equally aimless journey she'd been taking them all one, through this maze of empty, ancient rooms.

"But… you are right, you all have been quite patient with a silly old lady's reminiscing today." She said, expression softening as she addressed the whole group. "And you all must be getting quite hungry…."

Flowey nodded with an expression that made it seem like that fact should have been blatantly obvious. The others looked at each other, shared a moment of hesitance, then agreed as well. Toriel smiled apologetically, truly feeling rather badly for not noticing how long she'd been guiding them around this place. And they hadn't even really scratched the surface… She had forgotten through the passing centuries just how large this place really was, especially emptied of all their possessions.

"There is... one more place I would like to see on this floor if that is alright." She said after a moment, keeping that apologetic smile on her face. "Then we can go out the back through the gardens to go have that lunch that Dr. Burgundy offered."

At that moment though, she glanced out through one of the holes in the castle's crumbling walls and realized just how long they had been in here. It had all passed in a blur for her, but the sun didn't lie as it hung far lower in the sky than she expected.

"Or… perhaps it is closer to dinner now." She amended, with a bit more embarrassment.

Thankfully, Sans was there to offer a lighthearted quip as usual, walking over to her once Frisk had safely climbed up onto his back again. It seemed by now, the child was appreciating being carried more and more, but that made her worry about how tired Sans must be as well. If he was particularly strained though, he didn't show it, smiling up at her in his usual goofy fashion.

"how bout we call it...  _linner?"_ He suggested with a wink. "though so long as there's grub, the name isn't important to me."

That summoned out a soft giggle from her, helping her soul feel a little lighter in the process. Papyrus and Flowey once again groaned in unison as the younger skeleton also walked over to join them. Frisk's face crinkled with amusement and gave Sans a light, playful swat atop the skull as though admonishing him. Just like that, he had managed to chase away the tension in the air.

"Fair enough, but I do like the name regardless." She said with a restored smile. "I will have to remember that."

She began to head for the exit then, the others trailing behind and beside her. After a few steps though, they all stopped in surprise when a terribly weak, raspy, but familiar voice spoke up. All eyes and eye sockets went to Frisk, rightly surprised to hear them speak aloud all of a sudden.

"L-linner is…" They had to pause a moment to swallow and focus their speech. "a w-winner."

The joke, simple as it was, took a good deal of strength for Frisk to get out. Doing so aloud for them was no small feat, and that was not lost on anyone present. Flowey just stared, looking confused and surprised, but everyone else, even Papyrus, did the only thing one should do in reaction to a joke like that. They all laughed, some harder than others, and Toriel could see Frisk smiling brightly.

Their laughter echoed through the empty, ancient halls of the castle, and it suddenly felt just a little less lonely, a little bit more like the home it once was.

The final room in the castle she led them to was a small one just a little further down the hallway. This one had also had its door removed, and had been totally emptied, long  _long_ ago. Even so, she knew she couldn't leave without seeing it. This room held far too many dear memories for her.

She cast her gaze around it, ignoring Flowey's groan, no doubt at being led into yet  _another_ barren room of cracked, aged marble that smelled faintly of dust and moss. Her eyes could see the evidence of what once was though. The hole in the roof where a lighting fixture once hung, the ever so faint marks on the walls where supports for large potted plants once hung, and the small room that jutted off from the main room, one carved far more crudely into the marble.

Sans walked up to her side, setting Frisk down for the moment. His brother wandered into the room behind them and Sans took a long look around. She couldn't be sure if that was simply for her sake or not. Nonetheless, she appreciated it, especially considering he must be equally if not more worn out from all this than the rest of them.

"what's this one tori?" He asked, grinning up at her. "some kind of… clinic?"

Toriel's eyes lit up at that, surprised that he had indeed guessed correctly.

"Yes, it was." She confirmed, bringing her paws together. "What gave it away?"

The skeleton shrugged then relaxed again, absently scuffing his dingy slipper against the floor.

"eh, you've seen one doc's space, you've seen em all." He mused, turning to stare somewhat blankly at the far wall. "course, they are typically more medi- _full_ then this."

She giggled at the pun, but it didn't reach its full strength due to a small twinge of concern that gripped her soul. She understood of course what he must be referring to, but couldn't exactly express any sympathy in front of the others without potentially prompting undue questions. Thankfully, he moved on quickly, breaking from that topic.

"so what did you want to tell us about this room?" He asked, looking back up at her. "did you used to prank your doctor too?"

That drew another soft laugh out of her, and she nodded.

"Yes, sometimes." She admitted with a grin, though it softened into something more wistful as the memories slowly flowed back to her. "The doctor here was someone very dear to me."

"Her name was Nadia, she was our family's personal doctor, and something of a... nanny to me." Her smile grew warm from nostalgic memories. "Though if I am to be honest, she was more of a second mother to me. She was kind, smart, warm hearted and always knew how to stand up for herself and others. Not to mention she was incredibly skilled in healing all types of ailments, with and without magic. That was most impressive for a human."

"A HUMAN?!" Flowey burst out, sounding shocked. "You guys had a  _human_ doctor working for you?!"

Everyone else seemed to share in that reaction, and Frisk's expression in particular drew her gaze, seeing the realization of all the implications of what she'd said work their way through their expression. Sans was the one to continue the train of thought though, sounding more curious than shocked when compared to the children.

"even with… everything going on?" He asked, a touch hesitantly.

Toriel smiled down at him and the others in a hopefully reassuring manner and nodded.

"Why yes, we did." She confirmed. "My father was someone who believed greatly in peace, and had many human friends before things really got bad, including her. He did not let the changing times ruin that, and hired her on despite a good deal of objections from my mother and the other castle staff."

Her eyes grew soft with fondness and appreciation, laying a paw over her chest above her soul.

"It was Nadia and…" She began, but trailed off.

She had almost said their name…  _Their_ name. The one she had possibly hallucinated seeing in the throne room earlier. She had never mentioned them to anyone before, not even Sans. And for good reason. She went on quickly, trying to not think about them, and not wanting the others to take too much notice of her brief falter.

"Well... she was the one who showed me just how foolish all the fighting and hatred on both sides was, that peace between humans and monsters  _was_ indeed possible. Her dedication to and care for me and my family was all the proof of that I needed."

It was a partial lie, since the one who she had omitted had also been a human responsible for helping shape her view of humans back then. A view that had persisted all throughout her life and drove so many of the massive decisions that would come to define it.

Her child's weak, raspy voice broke her from her musing, demanding her immediate attention. That was twice in one day they had chosen to speak aloud. Such a thing could not be ignored. She gave them her full attention.

"Wh-what.. d-did she…" They croaked out before stopping as everyone's gazes centered on them.

Toriel knew not what had happened in their previous life before the mountain that had instilled in them this terrible reluctance to speak. But whatever it had been… she was certain it was nothing good. There had been a brief flash of  _fear_ in their eyes just then when they'd all looked at them. And though it faded fast, that did not stop her soul from continuing to burn hot with pain and anger on their behalf. If she ever found out what had happened to them, or especially  _who_ had caused her child to be so afraid of using their voice… those responsible would be facing far more than some choice words from her. One could be sure of that.

Thankfully they were in a much happier, safer place now, surrounded by those who loved them. They were all aware of Frisk's hesitations over speaking aloud, and were more than happy to be patient if they wanted to try. In front of her, her child swallowed hard, looking down as they tried to force themself to continue. She and Papyrus gave them encouraging looks, and Sans stepped over to them and laid a kind hand on their back.

"take your time kiddo." He assured, gently patting them and shooting them a warm grin.

Frisk smiled weakly in embarassed appreciation, before taking in a deep breath and seemingly filling themself with their signature Determination.

"Wh-what did sh-she look like?" They managed at last, looking relieved to have gotten the words out.

It was a little concerning, as it had been in the past, to see how much just asking one question had been for them. But she answered promptly, not finding it was the right time to dwell on all that, and wanting to encourage Frisk's attempts more than anything else.

"She was an older human woman, bald, with a similar skin tone to yours." She said, tapping a claw against her cheek as she thought back. "She had soft green eyes and wore a scarf around her head most of the time, and a long white robe. Oh, and she often carried a snake shaped staff with her that she used to channel her magic."

That last part caught Sans attention again, making him perk up a little with further interest.

"so she was a… wizard?" He asked, and his tone gave away his uncertainty regarding how to feel about that.

"Yes, but… not one of the ones responsible for sealing us all." She clarified quickly, before her eyes grew a bit hazier. "She died long before that ever came to pass."

There was a few moments of silence after that, where it seemed no one knew what to say. Even the usually ever mouthy Flowey was silent, looking to be in deep thought. He was distracted from those thoughts though as the also oddly quiet Papyrus seemed to have noticed something and stepped away from the rest of the group. Toriel watched as he went over to the smaller room jutting out from the main one, the space that had once been Nadia's storage area. He went inside and she saw him head straight for the back of that room, the part that was mostly in shadow.

"TORIEL, THERE IS SOMETHING SOMEWHAT PECULIAR IN HERE." He said, now grabbing everyone's attention.

She blinked and shared a look with Sans and Frisk before heading over to Papyrus. She stepped into the small room after him, noticing then that a few of the marble shelf structures were still intact. They were made from similar material as the floor and walls, but were indeed separate pieces of furniture. Despite that, a few of them had been spared from being stolen or destroyed. Most were missing and all were moderately damaged, but there being here meant there was some small element of Nadia's original clinic left from all those centuries ago… That was more than enough for Toriel to celebrate. It was such a small thing to be happy about really, but it made her feel that way regardless.

The shelves all had small sticky notes on them as markers, just as Burgundy had indicated there would be. There had been the same ones on a select few items found in the other rooms that had somehow endured all the passing centuries. It depicted a crudely drawn version of the logo that had been on Burgundy's uniform, and a note saying. "May require some sort of machine or monster assistance to move." Much to her amusement. But it seemed the shelves were not what Papyrus had been talking about when he'd called her over.

"LOOK HERE." He said, pointing to a particular shelf in the back. "THERE IS A SPACE ON THIS SHELF HERE WITH NO DUST."

Indeed, there was a perfect rectangular section on the shelf that had far less dust than its surroundings, making the shape stick out starkly. The shape and location suggested it may have been caused by a book lying there, but that idea seemed ridiculous. Surely a book would be among the last things to survive the passing centuries. And even if it had, why would it have not been stolen, burned or destroyed along with everything else?

"Hmm… it looks like this is one of the spots that Burgundy and her team removed something from." She observed after a moment. "I suppose we will have to ask her what it was when we head back."

Flowey groaned from his place within Papyrus' scarf, dramatically flopping over the edge of his pot while drawing out the sound.

"Can we  _please_ just go back already?" He all but begged, but still with his usual biting tone. "If I get any more bored and hungry I'm going to lose my mind."

She did not appreciate his overly exaggerated choice of words, especially considering his past. And given the way Sans visibly stiffened from his place lingering in the doorway, he appreciated it even less. A fact that couldn't be helped by the idea that Flowey was currently attached to his little brother…

Thankfully it seemed the look he got from the both of them made him get that he had spoken irresponsibly, and retreated with a huff deeper into his pot. Papyrus just looked between Sans and Toriel in confusion, clearly not understanding why both of them were so tense. Before he or Frisk could question it, she decided to quickly reply to Flowey's question.

"Yes… we can head back now." She relented, willing up a small smile. "I think we have seen enough for one visit."

There was a weariness to her words, as all the exertion on her mind and body began to catch up with her. The haze and shock of being in this place again was fading, pulling her more so into reality and reminding her of that one pressing matter she had continued to ignore since her arrival. It had to be spoken of before they left, there was no getting around it. With all the small hints within what she'd said and the ancient damage visible all over the castle, she knew it must be stewing in their minds. She'd just have to tell them in the garden… well... what remained of what used to be the garden.

Sans gave her a look then, trying to read her it seemed, silently asking her if she was really okay with this, or was simply being pressured into it. It worried her that she wasn't all that sure of the answer herself. Regardless though, the wellbeing of her family was far more important than her aimless reminiscing. It was best they left now, before anything more drew her back into rambling about the inconsequential moments in her past.

She returned Sans' look with what she hoped was a reassuring smile, and then headed for the door.

"Come along then, we will go out through the back stairwell… if it is still intact." She said, hoping to move things along now as much as possible.

It took them a few moments, and she caught sight of Frisk and Sans in particular share a concerned look. But once Frisk was invited back up on Sans' back, they all followed after her.

"IF YOU SAY SO!" Papyrus said, clearly trying to put some positivity back into the overall tone of the moment. "THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE TOUR OF YOUR OLD HOME TORIEL! EVEN IF WE DIDN'T GET TO SEE THE ROOMS BELOW WITH THE ANCIENT MONSTER PUZZLES, I SUPPOSE THAT IS ALL THE MORE REASON TO STOP BY AGAIN ANOTHER TIME!"

A bit of guilt rose up in her, remembering how she had promised him they would do that. It had become completely lost from her mind in all her wanderings through this place. She looked at him over her shoulder with yet another smile made weak with apology, a look that was beginning to feel all too common on her face.

"You are welcome… I thank you all for coming with me today, and for your patience." She said, before turning back to face ahead. "And yes… I suppose we should come back another time, perhaps when the restoration efforts have begun. Maybe by then they will have restored those old puzzles to working order."

She heard some soft affirmations from the others behind her, as well as Papyrus assuring her that her idea was great. But in truth, she felt a bit distant again, her thoughts consumed by the idea of what was to come for this place. It was empty and falling to pieces now, but this was also the last glimpse of the reality of what it once was. No matter what efforts these humans put forth on being loyal to the past of this place, it would never truly match it. This was the truth of her old home, in all its crumbling, barren, ravaged glory. She wasn't sure at that point what to make of that.

Thankfully, they found that the back stairwell was in fact, still mostly intact. A few chunks had been taken out of it either by time or intention, but enough of it remained for them to safely traverse it and exit the castle into the back gardens. As with everything else however, the place was practically little more than an overgrown mess of trees, erratic shrubbery and grass that was tall enough to reach Sans' middle. It was hard even for her to imagine that this was once one of, if not the most beautiful garden monsterkind had ever created, with flora and fauna from all across the world.

The others all paused for a moment upon reaching it, and she stopped to give them a chance to take it in. That same uncertainty on how to feel at the sight was evident on their faces as they stood there partially consumed by the grass. All except Flowey of course, who seemed much more interested in just enjoying the sun on his petals, lightly twitching them towards the sky with a content look on his face.

The others looked to her for guidance, and as though they expected her to say something about this area. She knew that now was the time to tell them, and it made her feel as though cold claws were running over the surface of her soul. Still, she managed to maintain a smile and gave a small nod as she gestured for them to keep following her.

Seeing as they still had a bit of a walk through the area to get back to Burgundy and the others, she figured walking and talking was the best course of action… for as long as they could anyway. She had no doubt that what she was about to talk about would freeze them in their tracks at some point.

"This is where I spent most of my free time as a child." She began, digging into her old royal training to find the proper strength and tone for the topic at hand. "Hunting bugs, pestering guards, playing with the animals our family kept. In short, things most would consider quite unbecoming of a young princess."

All their varying gaits filled the air with the sound of the grass swishing and being pressed flat underfoot. It seemed none saw fit to interrupt her or chime in at this point, other than a soft chuckle from Sans. Though it did sound a little more hesitant than usual. She savored the sound before she went on, knowing she would not be hearing it again for a little while.

"This… is also where I was married." She said, turning her gaze in the direction of where the alter for said ceremony had once been, right beneath an archway that only existed as a jagged marble stump now. "Of course, this area was far more tended too and… well... elegant, at that time."

As expected, she heard the others slow to a stop behind her, and even what might have been a quiet gasp of sorts from Frisk. Oh her dear child… she feared if she should continue, knowing that the final point would hit far worse than that one had. But now that she had begun with it, the words seemed to flow from her like water from a newly flooded stream. She stopped walking as well, but did not promptly turn to face them.

"There is not much to be said for that day now." She said, definitively. "I suppose all you need to know is… at the time… It was a day that brought hope to many. We savored that while we could, until we found that… the war had reached our doorstep."

She did turn to face them then, still feeling that small, painful smile upon her face, as though it had been carved into her. Her family stared back at her, even Flowey now was alert and paying attention. All of their expressions carried levels of dread for what she was to say next, and her own hesitation caused the silence to hang for a few moments more. A gust of wind blew through the area before she spoke again, tossing her dress and her long ears in its wake. It smelled vaguely of golden flowers.

"Things got bad." She went on simply. "This place was invaded by numbers we could not possibly have hoped to counter, led by a human who we... had once considered a dear friend."

The pain of that statement briefly stole her voice away and made her eyes grow a bit hazy, but she couldn't allow it to succeed in overpowering her. She just had to say it, so they all could perhaps finally understand her distant, warring feelings towards this place. As she spoke again, her paw slid up into her sleeve a bit, and she grasped the golden petal she'd picked up earlier between her fingers.

"In the end a decision was made by my parents. Me and Asgore, along with our escort, Gerson, were to flee the castle before the brunt of the invading forces arrived. We fought them on the matter, but were eventually all but forced to go."

She paused to draw in a deep breath, and then slowly let it out. She felt her soul grow colder in the process, chilled by a truly ancient sense of despair lingering below the surface. A sorrow that had remained buried for centuries. She could be blunt now. It was likely the only way the point would sink in.

"The three of us… were the only ones who escaped with our lives that day." She said at last, voice dull, yet somehow still piercing.

The silence that followed those words was even more heavy and palpable than the last, charged with a tension nearly enough to make her fur stand on end. And the roaring that her words left in her ears made it all the worse. She couldn't bear to look at their faces then, to see that shock and terrible sadness for her that she knew all of this would inevitably lead up to. Instead she gazed back up at the remains of the castle, wondering how exactly she should feel about it now.

She wasn't consumed with the desire to destroy it as Sans was with his old lab, she certainly wouldn't have agreed to allow these humans to restore it if had that been the case. No… this was different. This place was once the site of many horrific events, some that changed the course of monster history for the worst, and stole from her so many that she had loved.

But… that didn't take away from the fact that it had also once been her home, the place where she had become close with all those people in the first place. If the castle could be made to be a positive place again, something beyond a crumbling tomb lost to time… She was sure that is what her father and Nadia would have wanted.

Perhaps she had even more in common with Sans than she had considered… as thoughts regarding his old lab bled into thoughts about how he'd lost all of his first friends in the accident at the Core. It hadn't really occurred to her when he'd been speaking about it… but the similarities were certainly there. And even he had held on to the few good things that remained from all that past anguish with her encouragement, had he not?

Still… she wasn't sure what emotions to feel at that moment. Sans had been weeping… overcome with all his repressed despair and frustration back then. Should she be feeling the same faced with all this?

It was hard to explain to those who were mortal, but for her, those events of the past, including the loss of her family, almost felt like they had happened in another lifetime… even a dream, with how far detached they were from her current life. At least… that had been how it was until recently. With all this talk between her and Sans, bringing up their pasts and how they affected their current lives, reliving sections of her unremembered past through dreams, those memories of her parents and early life felt far closer and more tangible than they had in centuries. And as much as that did reawaken the pain of it all… she was grateful for it.

No matter how long she lived, she should never forget her roots, nor the first people she'd ever loved and lost. They were just as much a part of her as everything else, as were the times they'd shared, the good... and the bad. They always would be.

She was so adrift in those swirling thoughts that she didn't notice that Sans had come up to her and taken her paw in his small hand. When her hazy eyes dropped down to him, she found herself looking into the faces of her beloved and of her child beside him, both so very full of concern and sadness. He must have set them down in order to attempt to comfort her properly.

There was no avoiding the pain that had been summoned in them, but she still wished she could have spared them from those feelings nonetheless. Leaving here without telling them the truth of the matter would have been far more damaging in the end though, especially in regards to Sans, who had been so very honest with her. She felt that she owed him the same, and owed it to herself too.

"tori... i…" Sans said, voice weak and small.

He ran his free hand anxiously over the curve of his skull, eyelights wavering from troubled thoughts.

"geez… i mean… i do kind of remember reading they died in the war against the humans... but i didn't think…" He trailed off for a moment, squeezing her paw tighter. "i'm so sorry tori…"

Frisk nodded their agreement from beside him, looking like they were near tears. She gave them both a sad, but still warm smile, reaching over to give Frisk's head a consoling stroke.

"No need to apologize, my dear." She said, addressing them both. "It happened a very...  _very_ long time ago. Such things have little reason to burden me now. I just thought… it was important for you all to know."

At her other side, she felt Papyrus set a hand on her shoulder, and she could feel his concern for her through that touch as well. She turned to face him, finding that he was poorly attempting to mask the fact he was tearing up. Flowey looked somewhat distant, his earlier boredom and irritation seemingly traded for deep thought. Papyrus speaking up then kept her attention on him though.

"IT IS TERRIBLY S-SAD TO HEAR THAT THAT HAPPENED TO YOU." He agreed, through a sniffle. "B-BUT I AM GLAD YOU TOLD US OF THIS TORIEL. I DO FEEL I UNDERST-STAND BETTER NOW."

His response surprised her some. Given that Sans had taken such efforts to shelter Papyrus from such things in the past, she had expected him not to know what to say in response to all that. But… beneath all the tears, he really did seem to understand. That shouldn't have surprised her though, given their talks in the past. The skeleton clearly knew a lot more than he let on to his brother. Perhaps Sans underestimated his little brother's ability to handle these heavier topics. Though, if he was ready to hear the truth about the past he no longer remembered, that was difficult to say.

"MAY I… GIVE YOU A H-HUG?" The skeleton asked, holding his arms out to her and trying to further compose himself.

Sans and Frisk looked up at her at the same time, and she could see hints of the same question in their eyes. It warmed her soul deeply, managing to work away some of the guilt that had been summoned in her. Her smile grew stronger, and and the haziness in her eyes faded.

"Yes you may." She said warmly, drawing them all into a hug. "Thank you..."

The hug lingered for a short while and during that time the emotions shared were heavy and mixed. But somehow, the negative and the positive feelings didn't feel at war then, instead coming together in a way that didn't give way to either extreme. All their souls communicated in that moment in an effort to soothe, to reassure, to share love in the face of this revelation.

It was a wonderful feeling, making her remember just how lucky she was to have them all. Even with all her past loss, she still had people she loved, and loved her in return. That was what she would choose to focus on while she had them all here in her arms. Not the past, but the potential, far brighter, future.

Even Flowey didn't complain as he usually would, just stayed quiet there in Papyrus' scarf, still apparently thinking. About what… she could only guess for now, and hope he would share it with her soon enough.

She knew they must have questions too, especially in regards to how she had continued to be so firm in her beliefs that human and monsters were of equal worth in this world, when they had taken so much from her… and betrayed her in the worst possible way. But she got the feeling they would be saving those questions for the moment, out of sympathy and respect. When they did ask though, she'd be happy to tell them. Of her father's words and wisdom that he'd instilled in her, and how for every Adean… there was also a Nadia.

Once she felt it was appropriate, she smiled down at them all thankfully before stepping back and nodding in the direction of the bright white human tents.

"Come now everyone, let us go eat. I think I have kept you long enough. No reason to end this outing on such a sour note after all." She said, looking back up at the ruined castle with a brighter smile. "There was far more good that happened here than bad, in the end. That is what history will forget, and what I would like to remember."

Even with all the centuries that had passed, there was no softening or sugar coating the events of that day. Like any hard truth, it had to be said for any full understanding to be achieved. All she had done earlier since they had arrived there was tell them of the once happy life she'd lived within those now crumbling castle walls. Not a perfect life by any means, but a happy one nonetheless.

But she had only run away from the truth of what had happened there in the process. Both to further distract herself from her current issues surrounding her children, and for a want for this outing to be more than a tour of one of the worst days of her life.

The last time she'd laid eyes on this castle, she'd been watching from a distance while fleeing with Gerson and Asgore, and it had been consumed by flames that seemed to reach up into the sky like great hellish claws. All she could do at that point, was run. Run away to save the future of monsterkind, run away to become their new Queen as the previous one met her end within the castle walls, run away, in the end, only to postpone monsterkind's inevitable fate.

But her life had always been defined by running away… had it not?

They were all silent during their long walk back to the tents set up by the humans. But everyone did stay close to her, and Sans remained at her side, holding her paw close to him. That was all that was needed. All of their actions helped ease some of the turbulent emotions swirling about in her soul, like a special form of healing magic. She slowed her gait to match Sans' as they walked away from the remains of the castle together at a steady, relaxed pace.

Unlike the last time she was here, there was no reason to run.


	30. Old Wounds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ((See the last chapter's notes for details about my latest absence if you wish. All there is to say about this one is that I really loved writing it and exploring this part of Undertale's story that we know so little about. We are coming closer to that final arc I've been so eager to write. I hope you enjoy. ^^))
> 
> ((Warnings for this chapter: Mentions of suicide and death, mentions of cancer, minor mention of alcohol.))

A short time later found everyone eating beneath a large mess hall tent with the human archaeological team. Toriel and the rest of her family were sitting at the head table with Burgundy, eating a dinner of ribs, mashed potatoes and mixed greens on paper plates. Not a fancy meal by any means, but certainly tasty and filling for a group of hungry monsters.

Their food had been treated with a spell from Toriel to make it edible for the skeleton brothers, and more convenient for herself and Flowey to eat as well. She had had raw human food before, and she could quite plainly say she was none too fond of the side effects that came with it.

All the while, Toriel had been signing off on the various bits of paperwork needed to give Burgundy and her team permission to start work on restoring the castle. It was a monotonous task and she had to be careful not to get any stains on the paper, but listening to Burgundy's chipper chatter did help at least keep things from getting too boring.

Early on in the meal though, she did notice that Sans and Papyrus had notably  _not_ touched any of the ribs on their plates. And it seemed to be more than just a matter of food preference from what she could see. They looked a bit… green in the skull so to speak, and kept staring at and poking the ribs with their forks like they expected them to start moving or something.

At first Toriel had been confused, especially in Sans' case since he usually scarfed down just about anything that was placed in front of him. But then she realized that… perhaps skeletons would not take to eating meat off the bone all that well, especially such large, obvious bones like ribs. It could be that it felt a bit too… well… personal. Much like how she sometimes felt upon seeing goat meat in the grocery stores, especially the heads… Even now it brought a shiver down her spine thinking about it.

So before the two potentially made themselves ill trying not to disrespect their human hosts, Toriel quietly passed on a message to Burgundy that led to them getting simple chicken sandwiches instead. She and Frisk had theirs swapped as well, if only to be respectable of their feelings. Flowey was stubborn and held onto his, even making a mean spirited show of chomping on it in front of Sans before Toriel told him off and had him moved to the other side of her.

In the end though, the meal went well and they all had their fill. Both of food and of pleasant conversation with some of the other humans. Frisk had even made friends with a large bulldog the group had apparently taken in as a stray called Dozer, and had gone to play fetch with him in the shady area just behind the mess hall tent.

And after learning that Papyrus was interested in the castle's old puzzles, one of the more senior members of the archaeological team offered to show him what information and plans they had on that over on the other side of the tent where a wall of schematics was hanging. Flowey stayed on the table beside her, but had curled up for a nap in a nice patch of sunlight filtering in through the seams in the top of the tent.

That left just Toriel and Sans with Burgundy as they finished up the last of the paperwork. It vaguely reminded her of her old days as Queen, where'd she'd done much of the grunt work of signing off on hundreds of royal documents. She looked them over with the same critical eye that she had then, ensuring she didn't overlook or misconstrued any important details or conditions. Sans looked them over too once she finished, just to offer a second opinion. It wasn't that Toriel distrusted Burgundy at all, but for something as personal as this, she wanted to ensure everything was in order.

As Sans was looking over the last few documents though, the conversation between them and Burgundy quite took a surprising turn.

"You… are related to Samar?" She asked, her tone causing Sans to look up from the document on the table as well.

"Yup, sure am! Though… distantly." She admitted, with a somewhat weaker smile. "He would have been my cousin had he lived until I was born, I do have the same soul color as he did though, bright purple! I say it suits me well."

Toriel blinked, slowly, trying to take all this in. Samar had been the fifth child to fall into the underground, the one before Dante. He'd been a shy, bookish boy with a copperish skin tone, messy black hair and soft hazel eyes. He had also notably worn large round glasses and carried around a small purple notebook wherever he went. He had been kind but always a little more distant from her than the others. The poor child had been so scared… and even more upsetting… so unhappy to even be alive when she found him.

Despite all that, he had stayed a rather long time, almost a month if she remembered correctly. It had taken much of that first week to get him to even seem comfortable in the same room as her, but eventually they had been able to bond over a love for books. She had spent much of her time with him reading all she could from her meager library in the Ruins, trying to satiate his seemingly endless thirst for knowledge.

She remembered that last night she had tucked him into bed, it had been the one and only time he'd ever called her "Mom." It had made her… so very happy. The fact that he had then left that very night, snuck out while she was sleeping to head out towards his doom without so much as a note, it had all but destroyed her. It was hard to say for sure but… losing him may have been what set her over the edge, made her grow so desperate in her efforts to keep the children in the Ruins… where'd they be safe. Trapped… but safe. Thinking about it even now made her soul ache to its core.

And now, decades later, she was sitting right next to one of his relatives. Her soul did anxious, confused flip flops in her chest as she tried to find her voice again. She felt Sans' hand rest atop her paw, and his touch helped her focus again. She turned her paw over to lightly hold his hand properly as she spoke.

"I…" She managed after a few moments. "I... do not remember seeing you at the trial."

Burgundy smiled ruefully at that and leaned back in her chair a bit, seeming to fight through a hesitance of her own before speaking again.

"Was damn sick that day I'm afraid, been fighting with cancer on and off for the past few years." Burgundy said, a new sort of weariness making itself known in her eyes. "My sister was there though, Lina, i'll bet you remember her. She was the real tall gal with all the gaudy jewelry. She actually did know Samar when she was a little tyke."

Toriel forced herself to not focus on the terrible revelation she'd just heard for too long. Monsters by their nature didn't get cancer, but they knew of the disease's reputation well. To think it afflicted this upbeat, energetic woman was a shock to say the least. But she pushed those thoughts aside for the moment in order to think back and see if she could recall Burgundy's mentioned sister.

Indeed, she did recall the woman, a nearly comedic opposite to her sister. Thin and tall enough to stand a head over the others. She hadn't said much during the trial, mostly just stared at her and Asgore with an unreadable expression. She had cast her vote to see Asgore's punishment delayed in the end with all the others.

"Yes… I do remember her." She said, once the face became clear in her mind. "She was... so incredibly selfless in her decision to allow monsterkind to continue to rely on Asgore while we adjust to life up here. I cannot for certain say I would be able to do the same in her situation."

After the words had left her, it felt as though the full terrible weight of the situation fell onto her shoulders, just like the day she'd testified. But while she was able to remain far more composed then, she all but crumpled before Burgundy, hanging her head and feeling her soul ache to its core.

"I am sorry…" She croaked, voice trembling slightly. "I am so sorry I did not do more to save him…"

Sans tightened his grip on her paw and she felt him move a little closer. She could tell he wished to speak, but knew not what to say in such a heavy situation so distant from him. She was deeply grateful for his presence though, feeling that it kept the great waves of pain in her soul from rolling over her entirely. Burgundy, to her surprise, seemed equally invested in wanting to rid her of that pain, rather than really dwell on the weight of the apology itself.

"Hey hey c'mon. You can't blame yourself for that." She insisted, setting a hand on Toriel's shoulder and prompting her to look at the human woman again. "I can tell you personally, that everyone who did go to the trial said they loved you and were so grateful for what you tried to do."

Burgundy sat back again, still with that sad weariness in her eyes, but not as much as Toriel had been expecting. The aging human let out a soft sigh before continuing on, drumming her bony fingers against the tabletop.

"You also gotta understand, Samar was going through some really hard times. We don't know why exactly he ran away like he did, but it probably had something to do with the fact that he was a pretty sick kid too."

That took Toriel a bit off guard. Sick? She didn't remember Samar seeming sick. Perhaps he was a bit "sickly" in nature with how tired and worn down he seemed, but he never seemed notably ill during her time with her.

"I don't know how much you noticed, but Samar wasn't well." Burgundy went on, thankfully going to offer her clarification. "His family was involved in a car accident and it left him hospitalized for a long time. They had to operate on him to prevent some sort of swelling with his brain. It was labeled a success but… even once he finally got out, he was constantly having to be taken back for all kinds of stuff."

Burgundy hesitated again, one of her lightly wrinkled hands curling into a fist against the table. Toriel felt icy dread pool within her soul, worse than before.

"The doc thinks he may have had some early signs of some serious permanent damage from what happened." Burgundy said in a quieter tone, staring down at her clenched hand. "But… they didn't get to figure that out for sure. I don't want to make too many assumptions… but the general consensus seemed to be that he ran away because he felt like a burden on his family. And yeah, they really were struggling finding the means to pay for their son's care. I won't bore you with details, but lots of BS with their insurance and all that."

The implications of that hit hard, briefly leaving Toriel's thoughts flying by in a rush. Like all the children, it seemed Samar had come to the mountain for quite the unhappy reason indeed… She remembered more clearly now how distant he'd been even once the initial fear of her had passed, how long the child had spent lost in his troubled thoughts. How he sometimes refused food and other things unless he did some sort of task on her behalf first. How he sometimes muttered things so full of self-hatred over the smallest incidents. How he actively avoided any and all talk about his future, or the future in general.

All of it was coming into a clearer context, a context that clawed cruelly at her soul.

"He… did seem rather weary and quiet…" Toriel recalled, the words coming nearly unbidden. "But I never once thought…"

She trailed off and fell silent again, unsure what she could say. Just as she had failed to be able to properly address Chara's great inner turmoil, she had failed Samar in a similar fashion. She had only glimpsed the true suffering they both were enduring beneath the surface during their time with her. One might say she couldn't have known, that in the end they would have had to be the ones to share such things on their own terms, but that did not stop the fiery guilt from blazing forth regardless.

"Yeah…" Was all Burgundy said for a moment, gaze drifting over to the castle for a few moments before she abruptly turned back to Toriel and straightened up confidently again. "Anyway, I say all that to say this. You probably wouldn't have been able to save him even in the long run. He was sick, and even if he had been in the best hospital in the world with mountains and mountains of money towards his care, he probably would not have had all that much longer left if the doctor's suspicions were correct."

The aging woman worked up a weak smile then, a new, slightly warmer kind of heaviness visible in her eyes behind her large glasses. The kind that made the wrinkled edges of her eyes crinkle.

"So don't get so wrapped up in guilt." She insisted again, gently nudging Toriel with her elbow. "Trust me, If he called you "Mom" that last night like you mentioned at the trial, then you must of gotten through to him. Because from what I heard, he was not usually the most affectionate kid. It seems like he wanted to go off and die alone, but you took him in and made him feel loved during those last few weeks of his life, I know all of us who are connected to him are grateful for that."

Her words settled hard on Toriel's soul, like weight attempted to be taken off it only doubled in defiance. Even if that was the case, she could of done more.  _Should_ have done more. There was no question about it. Even now she could think of a thousand different ways she would have handled things differently had she known he was sick. The thoughts mixed with those regarding Chara and their own illness as well. How powerless she had been to save either of them.

And yet, she still even dared to wonder if she could have saved him, despite what Burgundy had said. Maybe the key to banishing or at least managing his illness could have been found in magic. Maybe…

Her thoughts could have continued on like that for hours, but another gentle squeeze of her paw from Sans brought her out of it, his magic warming her own with a mix of love and concerned emotions. She turned briefly to look at him then, and was able to find more strength from seeing those lovely lights of his eyes. He remained silent, but his support was more than enough.

"Alright… I… I am glad to know that you all feel what I did was worthwhile in the end." She said earnestly and only with a slight shake to her voice as she faced Burgundy again. "I know… how truly horrible it is to lose a child to illness..."

She had to pause a moment to let the pain of those words pass before continuing, eyes being drawn over to Frisk by some sort of instinct.

"I hope his family can continue to find peace…"

Burgundy offered a stronger smile at that, which Toriel caught out of the corner of her eye. It took her a moment to look away from Frisk to face the woman again, caught up in seeing her child, happy and alive, joyfully playing in the sunshine with the dog. The only one of her children who had ever gotten to see the surface again.

After another moment or so, she did look back at her, and Burgundy seemed fine with being patient in offering her reply.

"They are doing okay. It's been a long time and they've all moved on from the worst pain of it all. And now we all at least know for sure what happened to him." She said, before her usual warmth and energy slowly began to return.

"Heck, if it's alright with you, maybe we could plant a tree here and set up a plaque in his honor and for all the others!" She suggested, making a sweeping gesture with her stubby arm towards the overgrown castle grounds. "I don't know if I'll live to see this place fully restored. But I sure as hell will try, even if they've got to wheel me out here on my damn hospital bed!"

She puffed up at that and laughed a hearty laugh, as though the idea truly were invigorating to her, rather than terribly sad. It left Toriel unsure how much pity to feel for the woman's situation, but a healthy amount of it still did arise within her soul and she shared in the hope that Burgundy would indeed get to see this place in its full glory one day. The woman's apparent strength and infectious spirit made Toriel want to believe she would.

Sans seemed to share in those feelings, speaking up for the first time in a while when Toriel didn't offer a timely reply.

"that's all real cool burgundy, i'm rooting for ya…" He said, pausing momentarily as he too was clearly caught up in conflicting thoughts. "but uh… i hope you don't… take offense to this or anything… but i can't help but ask, was it hard to… y'know… talk to asgore about this whole thing? knowing he's the one who…"

He trailed off, not able to bring himself to say it. The question made it feel as though another layer of weight settled over all three of them, and it brought a few beats of silence in its wake. Sans must of known the question would do such a thing, but she couldn't blame him for asking. Truly, the very same question had been on her own mind as well. As they waited for Burgundy's reply, the air around them was filled with happy chattering of the other humans, the bark of the dog playing with Frisk, and the soft twittering of birds in the nearby grove of trees.

During that time, she also spared a glance at Flowey, and found he seemed to still be sleeping, his petals lightly tousled by the soft spring breeze. Part of her wondered if he was secretly listening in though, as he typically loved to do. As was his nature in all those timelines they spent underground. Burgundy gave the flower a look too before drawing in a deep breath and replying.

"My sis told me about the trials, explained his reasoning behind why he did it." She said, adjusting in her chair a bit and laying her chin on her crossed hands. "Nothing makes what he did okay, that much is obvious. But we, humans that is, put you guys in a no win situation from the start. We sealed you all down there and then just… forgot about it, moved on and left all that to become legend rather than history. And anyone who brought it up was laughed down as a conspiracy theorist and a loon."

The way she said that last part made Toriel feel as though the woman spoke from experience, sparking her curiosity, but not enough to interrupt her. There was a fire in the woman's eyes then, the first sign of true anger from her. And it wasn't directed at Asgore, or any of the monsters. Rather, towards the humans who had sealed them.

"What were you all supposed to do?" She asked as though giving a speech, gesturing dramatically along with it. "Plus from my personal meetings with him… he didn't seem like the kind of guy who would ever do something so horrible by nature. There was no good solution to choose with the hand he was dealt. None of you should have ever been put in that situation in the first place. Makes my damn blood boil."

As though sensing their leader's anger, one of the other humans with a pitcher came over with a glass for Burgundy, topped with a bright pink straw. Toriel's sensitive nose told her the drink was lemonade, perhaps with a touch of alcohol for good measure. The human asked she and Sans if they would like any. Sans accepted after a moment to think, but she politely declined.

As good as a drink sounded right then, She did not want to deal with the effects of even mild inebriation at the moment. Toriel herself didn't wish to risk any slip of her alcohol addled emotions potentially going awry in regards to the situation with her children that she potentially would have to be dealing with soon.

The other human left after pouring Sans a glass and Burgundy had downed a few gulps of the drink. She dramatically set it down with an audible clink and smacked her lips a few times before speaking again.

"Maybe I would feel differently if I knew my cousin personally… I know my sis does." She conceded, tapping her fingers against the moist outside of the glass. "As much as she was willing to vote to delay his sentence, she told me she could never stand to be in his direct presence. It would just be too much y'know?"

Toriel nodded solemnly, feeling a terrible sympathy and respect for that poor woman. She watched as Burgundy took another long sip from the glass, and Toriel could hear Sans doing the same from beside her. Both she and Burgundy, curious to how exactly a skeleton managed that, looked over at him.

The straw was pressed up against his exposed teeth and the tip of it was wreathed in a pale blue aura. The sound of slurping could be heard, despite Sans lacking the actual anatomy one would assume required to produce such sounds. Even so, the lemonade still drained from the glass at a steady pace. Burgundy let out a short, bewildered sort of chuckle at the sight and Toriel managed an amused smile as well, especially when he realized they were staring and gave them a tentatively comedic wink.

The small bit of levity was appreciated, intentional or not, but could not puncture the heavy atmosphere completely. Burgundy's mood dulled again rather quickly, even as her smile remained. She ran a wrinkled hand down her face before going on.

"Yah… its a real mess in the end." She said with another humorless chuckle, before shifting into a more serious tone again. "But I just… want to be part of the solution going forward. I want to give back towards a better future before my time here is done. Hearing that you guys were free lit a fire under me like you wouldn't believe, both towards this project and life in general. They had to practically tie me down for my chemo treatments every month, I was that excited!"

Excited indeed, for as she said that, she sat up quickly enough to cause her hair, which Toriel realized then was only a wig, to go askew. She didn't even bother to fix it for a few seconds, going on then about how dedicated she really was to this project, and even the rights of monsters in general. It was… encouraging, to know that there were humans like Burgundy out there, who were fighting and had been fighting for what they knew was right in regards to monsters for a long time.

It made Toriel once again consider the idea that, though monsterkind had blamed humanity as a whole for their imprisonment, that the act was only truly the intention of a select group of humans. Perhaps had the whole of humanity the world over known what Adean had been planning, they would have tried to stop it too. It was only wishful thinking perhaps… but it still brought her some comfort and validation in her beliefs of peace.

The conversation drifted a bit from there, until Toriel happened to remember what they had seen while in the castle's old clinic. She had nearly forgotten...

"Oh yes, while we were in there, we noticed it looked like something had been removed from one of the shelves in the clinic's storage room." She said, as the aging woman was finishing up the last of her drink. "May we ask what that was?"

That perked Burgundy right up again, and the light in her eyes that had been there when they'd first arrived returned.

"Oh that! We were actually hoping you'd be willing to shed some light on that." She said, adjusting her glasses as she spoke. "its a real old journal of some kind. It's crazy to us that it has survived all this time in decent condition. Mostly empty and illegible unfortunately, the few pages that aren't burnt to a crisp are covered in these odd symbols."

That gave Toriel pause, and her mind immediately summoned up memories of a certain type of symbols in particular. But no… surely it could be anything. Beside her though, it became clear Sans had come to the same instinctive conclusion, judging by the tone in his voice.

"symbols?" He asked, and Toriel could feel him grow tense beside her.

He had taken his hand away earlier in order to hold his drink, but now she wished he hadn't, so she could offer him more proper comfort. Burgundy didn't seem to notice his unease though, and went on without missing a beat.

"Uh-huh, real weird ones too. We think it's probably a cypher of some kind." She explained, not losing her enthusiasm.

Toriel looked over at Sans, and she could see his eyelights were wavering with unsettled, even fearful thoughts regarding just what this journal could contain. He met her eyes for a moment, and she knew then he couldn't let the issue die unless he knew for sure. The skeleton leaned over a bit in order to address Burgundy again, managing a convincing grin once more.

"could uh… could i see it?" He asked, able to make his voice come off as surprisingly casual. Though his acting ability really shouldn't be surprising her anymore.

"Sure thing." Burgundy all but chirped in reply before looking towards the back of the massive tent and calling over on the humans standing with Papyrus. "Hey Terry! Bring over the book we found in the clinic's storage!"

"Terry" nodded and hurried off out of the tent. They all waited in another persisting few moments of silence, the two monsters feeling unnecessarily tense. She looped an arm covertly around Sans as she felt his anxiety coming in more severe waves from his soul, easing him closer to her. He pressed back into her a bit in response, clearly grateful for the support.

Soon enough, "Terry" returned, carrying a clear bag with, indeed, a scorched, ancient journal inside of it. As he ever so carefully removed it from its protective covering and laid it before them on the table, they were all able to get a better look at it.

She could tell was once black in color, even before the burning, made from leather and neatly bounded. Age and damage had warped the shape so that the book could no longer properly close, with pages sticking out from it in all directions like inflamed, swollen tumors. It looked as though if anyone touched it, it could crumble to dust. The fact it was still mostly in one piece was truly shocking.

"Terry" put on some gloves and gave Sans some to wear too. They were terribly oversized on Sans' small hands, and likely unnecessary, seeing as the skeleton didn't have any potentially damaging oils on his nonexistent skin. Still, Sans tolerated it without comment, slipping them on and listening closely to the human as he slowly opened the book to an apparently specific page. That spark of his old scientific interest was back in his eyes, though it was terribly marred by anxiety as well.

"These are the only pages that have writing, that survived the fire at least." He informed them, before stepping back and allowing Sans to look over the contents of the pages in question.

When Toriel saw what was on the page, she felt her soul seize up hard and fast in her chest. Her gut instinct had indeed been right. Staring back up at them from the page was the now familiar sight of wingdings symbols. They were handwritten this time, in a looser manner that might suggest it was done by a younger soul, but there was no denying who had penned these symbols. Against all odds, evidence of Gaster's apparent time in her family's castle had survived the passing centuries.

She wanted to say something to Sans, but knew not how he wished to address this. For the moment, she simply tried to look interested, yet clueless. She wasn't sure how well it was working. Sans on the other hand, was staring down at the writing with a deep intensity, over-bright, focused eyelights flicking back and forth across the pages again and again. The magic from his soul felt tense and confined as well, as though he were instinctively holding back his emotions from being shared in the moment.

"Well?" Burgundy's cheerful voice cut in after a little while, a bit curious but still not fully catching on to the nature of his behavior it seemed.

Sans flinched slightly, as though being awoken from a stupor. He blinked and looked at the human, then at Toriel, then back to Burgundy. Slowly, he managed to regain his smile, and it was just as unnatural and fake as what he said next. Of course, Burgundy and the others would likely have very little reason to suspect that. It had taken her long enough to learn to see through it.

"nah... no clue, sorry." He said, sitting back and putting his hands in his pockets with a dismissive shrug. "nothing like anything i've ever seen."

Toriel blinked at his reaction, then reacted with a slow nod of her own, agreeing with him. Though she lacked his sadly natural skill at lying. There was a beat where Toriel found herself holding her breath, wondering if Burgundy would buy into their act. But it was unnecessary, for the aging woman didn't even question it.

"Ah, what a shame." She said with a frown, before giving a shrug of her own. "Guess we'll just have to keep cracking away at it."

"Terry" took the gloves back then, and leaned over to whisper something in Burgundy's ear. The aging woman blinked, then nodded, getting up from her chair.

"I'll be back in a blink, just gotta help Terry and a few others with something in the back real quick." She said, stretching a bit where she stood.

Meanwhile Terry was getting the book back in the plastic cover, completing the task with a careful, clearly expert hand. Once it was inside, he carried it with all the necessary mindfulness and headed off towards the back of the tent with Burgundy in tow. This left Sans and Toriel alone, save for the possibly sleeping, possibly snooping Flowey. She quickly turned to Sans, letting all her true worry and shock over the situation finally show on her face. But she kept a wary eye on the humans mulling about, not wanting any of them to potentially overhear.

"What was it dear?" She asked, in a hushed tone.

Sans didn't reply right away, eyelights wavering in his sockets slightly as he looked down at the tabletop where the journal had been just before.

"heh... it was… nothing really." He said finally, though with a wholly different tone than the one he'd used with Burgundy. "it was just ol g complaining about how much he hates that nadia lady you were talking about… and talking about how much he misses his parents. that sort of thing."

His eyelights dulled a bit then, despite his clear efforts not to let this sudden event regarding his father get to him too much. He shot an uneasy glance at a passing human before speaking again in a quieter voice.

"also… lots of talk about hating humans and all in there. it's not even signed so they aren't going to figure much out from it even if they crack the code. but... it was definitely him."

Toriel felt her soul pang with a mix of emotions at that, remembering the broken, miserable younger version of Gaster she'd seen in her returned memories. It was little surprise he'd still have those thoughts during his time here at her family's castle. She remembered how Nadia had encouraged her to write as well when she had a rough day, as a way to vent her feelings. It was a habit the had led to Toriel keeping a diary all those centuries after the human doctor had passed.

Still, the idea that Gaster of all monsters at one time being here in the place she'd once called home… It sent an icy chill down her spine. Obviously Gaster had been nothing more than a traumatized, scared child at the time, but knowing what he would one day become… and how he'd in turn cause misery and pain to the one she loved… it made the magic in her soul churn in a sickly manner.

Sans seemed to realize then how worried she looked, and did his best to give her a reassuring smile. He leaned against her as well, perhaps trying to distract both of them from their uneasy emotions.

"i'm ok tori." He assured her with a soft sigh. "really, it's nothing really new anyway. we learned he was once here from all that stuff in your dreams. this just... proves it further. don't worry about it."

The unsettled nature of the magic flowing off his soul seemed to tell her he wasn't as dismissive about this as he was making himself out to be. But she wouldn't force the issue right now. If he had had a problem with these people having his journal, he would have done or said something. If he was content letting the issue lie, then she would be too. He had already proven that he would be honest with her regarding these matters when it was important.

"I suppose…" She began to reply, but then Burgundy reappeared and began to make her way over to them.

Toriel shut her mouth and Sans' soul shared a pulse of understanding. If they wished to discuss this further, it would have to be later. The aging human flopped down in her chair again with a dramatic sigh.

"Issues with the storage shed doors." She said with a tired sort of chuckle. "I'll spare you two the boring details."

She sat up abruptly then, bringing her hands together with a loud clap that made Toriel and Sans jump a little.

"So, you all gonna head back in there for round two?" Burgundy asked, leaning towards them with an eager sparkle in her eyes.

Toriel and Sans just looked at each other, bewildered by the question. The answer was clear from both of them. They had had more than enough for one day. They shook their heads in unison, doing their best to be polite about it.

"I think we saw enough for today." Toriel explained, unable to keep a level of weariness out of her voice. "We managed to go everywhere I feel was most important. The rest… can wait for another time. After all, this place will be in better condition fairly soon, will it not? It will give us a reason to come back."

Thankfully, Burgundy seemed to accept that answer, though almost looked puzzled at their apparent exhaustion. Stars, even beyond the emotional exhaustion being here caused, couldn't this sickly, aging woman at least understand how physically taxing traversing such a large, ancient structure was? How Burgundy managed her seemingly boundless energy with her condition, Toriel didn't know.

For a moment, Toriel thought the conversation was over, and she had begun to mentally prepare herself to leave. But then Burgundy spoke up again, voice a bit more hesitant than before.

"Did you all… go to King Adean's room on the top floor?" She asked.

The question made Toriel's train of thought all but crash in an instant. Adean…? Her paw once again subconsciously moved inside her sleeve, running two of her fingers over that golden petal. She remembered seeing the image of the former human king in the throne room doorway again, and she suddenly felt far more doubt towards the idea that it had been only her imagination. But… why?  _How?_

"...King Adean?" She repeated back, searching the aging woman's gaze for signs of disingenuousness. She found none. "But they… they were not…"

Now it was Burgundy's turn to look a bit shocked, realization sweeping over her features. She covered her mouth with a hand.

"Oh shoot… you don't know…" She said quietly, more to herself than anything. "Damn, of course you wouldn't know..."

Tension overtook the three of them all over again, and she and Sans stared intently at the human, waiting anxiously for clarification. Burgundy dropped the hand slowly, and offered a weak, awkward sort of smile. Toriel thought she may have caught a bit of movement from Flowey just then out of the corner of her eye, but it was hard to be sure.

"Uh… well it feels weird to be the one to tell you this…" Burgundy said, adjusting her glasses. "But during his old age, the human king actually lived here, in this castle."

Toriel felt her magic run cold at that, a million thoughts rushing in at once. All culminating still into the burning question of  _WHY._ Burgundy's misgendering of the human king did not surprise or phase her. Few knew of their preference even back then, and Toriel had found that humans typically were far less understanding of such things in general. And regardless, Adean hardly deserved any such defense on her part now. Her claws itched to extend as anger began to dominate inside her, hot with the fury of an ancient betrayal that had come to define her entire life, no, the lives of  _all_ monsterkind.

"They dared to settle in the home that their forces drove us out of?" She growled, low in her throat. "That my family…  _died_ in?"

Her red eyes bore into the aging woman, but she surprisingly did not flinch away. That was enough for Toriel to remember herself again and look away, but the anger within her did not cool. So intense it was, she hardly picked up on Sans' soul feeble attempts at soothing her again. She was too consumed to pay him any mind. Too consumed with the idea of Adean walking the halls where her parents and loved ones had met their ends due to the human's own actions. Their own bitter betrayal.

"Yeah…" Burgundy confirmed after a moment, sounding a bit more nervous about answering. "It turns out that… well the record isn't perfect admittedly… but from what we could gather, the invasion that day was not meant to escalate to violence so quickly. He ordered that the royal family be taken alive, and that the castle to be left standing. Things… obviously didn't go to plan."

Toriel narrowed her eyes at that, finding the idea ridiculous. The violence that day was nearly unparalleled, the humans had descended upon their home with the intent of bloodlust from the beginning. They had even slaughtered the animals in the gardens. There was no way that they hadn't intended on killing them all from the start. And frankly, the idea that a historian was trying to tell her otherwise, someone who had lived through the event, left her rather affronted to say the least.

"Adean showed no regret for their actions after that day." Toriel said, coldly. "They faced us after that without flinching, without remorse. Including the day they and the other wizards sealed us all beneath the mountain."

She subconsciously drew herself up a bit, feeling flickers of the emotions she'd experienced all those centuries ago come rushing back.

"Are you certain your historians of old did not simply seek to rewrite history to make their actions seem less cruel?" She asked, tone harsh.

"there is that whole saying of "history belongs to the victors." Sans sarcastically scoffed his support from beside her.

Under all the scrutiny and criticism of both monsters, Burgundy shrank back a bit and raised her hands in a symbol of defeat.

"Okay well, you got me there. Can't say that didn't happen." She conceded, still remarkably calm all things considered. "Humanity didn't exactly treat the subject of what happened to monsterkind with the proper nuance and fairness during the centuries that followed the sealing after all."

She cast another glance at the castle then met Toriel's fiery gaze again, seemingly still managing to not be swayed from her stance fully. Even if that frustrated Toriel further, she did have to admire her tenacity at least.

"But… it would help explain why the castle was never torn down afterwards." The woman noted, only a little nervously. "The information we got indicates it may have been because of well… some level of regret on his part."

Toriel's expression did not soften, and one of her long ears twitched irritably. As much as her flaring temper and the ancient pain in her soul wished to demand this conversation end. There was still a part of her that knew she should listen to all this. She didn't believe what she was hearing at face value, but she did have to concede that there was a  _lot_ that didn't make sense about everything that had happened. And that image of Adean she'd seen in the castle still haunted her thoughts...

"But regardless of why, when the King reached his 90s or so, we do know for a fact he spent his final few years living here in this castle." Burgundy said, far more confidently. "Some of his personal effects were even recovered from the first sweeps of this castle, found hidden in a small secret area in the top floor guest room where he was living."

That detail sent much of Toriel's anger and irritation towards Burgundy away, as the legitimacy of it sank in. Less horrific memories returned then, their benign and even pleasant nature all the more jarring. Shock once again replaced the indignation on her face, and she felt Sans' emotions shift in turn beside her.

"That… is where they would stay when they came to visit us for extended times." She confirmed, in a voice that shook once. "That little nook was where they stored their books of pressed flowers."

She could remember it so clearly now… Adean staying for week long spans in the castle while the human and monster royalty met to discuss political matters, how the human prince had showed her and Asgore so much about flowers and food as well as shared human books they'd brought with them from their kingdom. They had been a regular sight here, before their orders rendered it the empty, lifeless husk that it was now. A place of great suffering and tragedy.

"Why…?" Toriel asked sorrowfully, under her breath and more to herself than anyone else. "Why would they ever come back here?"

_Why would they betray us this way?_

Neither Sans nor Burgundy had an answer for her it seemed, as they both just slipped into a heavy silence. Sans attempted to comfort her with the silent support of his soul, but even he felt far away in that moment.

"I'm surprised…" Burgundy's voice finally broke the silence as she sat up more in her seat. "You don't seem as angry as I thought you'd be. Guess I just assumed you would… y'know… hate the guy more? Just... given that he was the one who..."

She trailed off, a weak smile working its way onto her face before she let out a mirthless chuckle.

"Man, I sound like a major hypocrite asking that, huh?" She asked, in a tone that was desperately trying to lighten the mood.

It didn't work, as Toriel's mind remained firmly focus on Burgundy's first question. Her gaze drifted back over to the castle, eyes warily searching the windows for the figure she'd seen earlier in the throne room.

"It is... complicated…" She admitted, still with that distant tone.

"Seems to be the case for a lot of things with you." Burgundy noted, though she quickly winced at the choice of words when Toriel turned to look at her with a hardened expression.

"Sorry, sorry, don't mind me, age has robbed me of my filter it seems. Can't keep the nosy historian in me under wraps like I used to." She apologized, waving her wrinkled hands in front of her.

Toriel's spike of anger remained hot inside her for a moment, before finally cooling as she released a deep breath. Being angry would accomplish nothing here, and, as usual with those who dug into her history, there was in fact truth to the woman's words. Toriel kept her expression firm though, if only to satisfy her stung feelings.

"Nevermind it." Toriel replied, a bit stiffly. "Can you tell me more about why Adean returned here in their old age?"

Burgundy nodded quickly, clearly eager to get back into her good graces. Though with the topic at hand… that was not going to be all that easy. Like it or not. Toriel attempted to steel herself for what was to come, knowing the answer could send her spiraling right back into anger again.

"No one knows for sure." Burgundy admitted with a weak sort of smile. "The romantic, popular idea, and the idea put forth by what is written on his tombstone, is that he was wracked with remorse for what he'd done, and during his final few years of life, he left throne and moved out here, I suppose… as something of… self punishment, wallowing in his sins, what have you. But again, no one knows for sure. The only known fact was that he was found here when he died, with evidence to suggest he was staying here for an extended time."

The way Burgundy spoke about the former human king, so distant and detached. It felt so… wrong somehow. Like she was speaking of someone, of events, that had never been real, only stories. And Toriel supposed, to Burgundy, they were only that. In truth, Toriel herself and a select few others, would be the only ones who could possibly see them as otherwise.

"The story goes, they found him dead beneath the very tree he's now buried under, nothing but a skeleton in robes." Burgundy paused, smile becoming nervous again as she shot a glance at Sans. "Uh… no offense or anything."

Sans shrugged dismissively, grin still intact, but then subtly rolled his eyelights, usual humor apparently robbed due to his worry for Toriel. It satisfied Burgundy though, who continued on.

"At first they thought it was old age that had finally taken him, but upon closer inspection, his signature spear was lodged deep in his chest, right through the ribcage."

Burgundy patted her own chest over the spot in question.

"It was no murder though. Legend says they found a note in his hand, indicating it had been a premeditated act of his own. The note, if it was real, has been lost to time, but the words from it have said to have endured and were carved into his gravestone… and that's part of the reason we believe his residency here was out of remorse. If you read it and believe what is being said… it's hard not to see that as the truth."

Burgundy stopped at that, and once again, Toriel found her head swimming at the blunt delivery of such heavy information. She had never pondered exactly how her former friend had died. If she had, she likely would have just assumed they grew to old age and died the beloved "Hero who sent the monsters back to Hell."

For them to have taken their own life, expressing regret at the end… Toriel didn't know what to think.

"I am assuming from your expression that you didn't know all that either..." Burgundy said meekly when met with Toriel's continued silence. "Sheesh... I'm really sorry to dump all this on you… Sure wish I could learn to keep my mouth shut every once in a while."

The energetic woman deflated a bit at that, regret flashing in her eyes behind her glasses as she ran an anxious hand through her messy bangs. Toriel could understand how strange this must be for her. She and her fellow archeologists were probably used to being able to speak about such history freely, never having to worry about offending or upsetting someone who had actually lived through that time. Immortality or even general longevity was such a foreign concept to humans. Not like it was to monsters. For them to even attempt to rationalize it could be beyond reason.

But all of that did not change how chilled Toriel's soul felt at all this new information. Information that neither mattered nor occurred to her when they were all still sealed underground. On top of what she now anticipated would be even more devastating future revelations from her children, part of her truly wondered how much more revelations like this she could be expected to take.

Still, she had endured worse, she just had to keep reminding herself of that. And throughout all of this, she had always found it more worthwhile in the end to face these things head on. She didn't care for the feeling of numbness it produced in her soul, but she would cope with it for her own sake.

"No, I…" Toriel began to reply, but had to pause to regain her composure and the steadiness of her voice. "I appreciate that you have shared all this with me. It is a lot to take in but… I would much rather not be ignorant to these things anymore."

Burgundy smiled more sincerely at that, and appeared to relax. Sans felt less tense at her side as well, which left her with a pang of guilt. Just how far gone much she have been acting to warrant such worry on his behalf? She really was a mess, was she not? The sentiment was demoralizing, but still spurred her on to try harder to defy it.

"I think… I think I would like to see it before we leave. The grave I mean." She said, forcing a touch more confidence in her voice, but unable to banish the pensiveness from it.

Sans' soul gave off a pulse of surprise, a feeling mirrored by the expression on Burgundy's face. But the woman did not keep that look for long.

"Oh... well sure!" She agreed, perking right up. "It's on the hill just over there, beneath that huge elm tree."

Toriel followed where she was pointing with her eyes to the hill in question. Indeed, just a short way beyond the ruins of the outer walls, there was a hill marked by another, far smaller, ancient building, and a supremely massive elm tree towering over it all. She vaguely recalled that perhaps that tree had in fact existed during her years here as a far smaller sapling, but she could not be sure. Perhaps that was only a clinging nostalgia for things long past.

The tree swayed over the structure, which must be the gravesite, as though beckoning her over. As with the castle itself, she found that she simply couldn't resist seeing the truth of all this for herself. She nodded slowly before carefully got up from the table and offered the human woman her paw.

"Thank you again Burgundy, for everything. I am sorry if I seemed cross with you. I wish you and your team the best in beginning your efforts to restore this place." She said, doing all she could to regain her usual gentle tone.

It seemed to take both Burgundy and Sans off guard. Her dear skeleton cautiously got up from the table beside her, clearly not sure what he should say, if anything. But Burgundy snapped herself from it quickly, shot to her feet and eagerly shook Toriel's paw in return. Her small, wrinkled hand carried a surprising strength behind it, and felt a bit odd against Toriel's paw pads.

"No problem! I am so glad we could work this out." Burgundy said cheerfully before sobering up a little again. "And hey, it was really great talking with you guys. You have a lovely family. We'll keep you up to speed on what's happening here and you let me know if you are planning to come back for another visit sometime, alright? You gotta let the rest of my staff get a chance to talk with you at some point too after all."

She let got then and stepped back, indicating she intended to walk over to where a group of her fellow human scientists were gathered in the back near Papyrus.

"Take care of yourselves, y'here?" She said in farewell, before leaving Toriel, Sans, and the still potentially sleeping Flowey, alone.

Toriel returned her well wishes and then just stared after the human for a moment, before turning her gaze back to the hill. The resting place of her former friend, turned greatest enemy. The petal she carried between her fingers suddenly felt like it weighed enough to drag her down into the earth beneath her feet.

"Sans… would you mind accompanying me?" She asked, remembering him at her side. "I… I do not feel right about going up there alone."

He took her paw gently with his small hand, curling the phalanges around what he could. It astounded her how much his simple touch could steady her, even now.

"yah, of course tori." He assured her, thankfully still retaining a good deal of his usual, blessed, relaxed tone. "i don't blame ya."

She squeezed his hand back gratefully and smiled down at him, communicating through her eyes and her soul what she couldn't manage to say then with her words. He grinned back up at her, and though it wasn't as strong as usual, it restored in her the calm that was escaping her own soul in that moment.

Sans turned around and got his brother's attention from across the tent. The younger skeleton hurried over, as diligently as any member of the royal guard would have, and Toriel could see some concern in his expression, betraying the fact that he'd been watching the situation unfold in some capacity.

"pap, think you could keep an eye on the kiddos for a bit?" Sans asked, nodding towards Frisk and Flowey. "tori and i are gonna go check out one more thing before we leave."

Papyrus opened his mouth to reply, but was interrupted by another, more harsh voice from the tabletop.

"Don't include me in that insipid nickname of yours." It grumbled, revealing itself to be Flowey glaring up at Sans in annoyance from under his droopy petals.

Ah, so he  _had_  been listening. Toriel found she wasn't surprised. She just hoped the flower monster didn't intent to do anything malicious with the information shared. She trusted her child didn't have any such intentions now, but that didn't stop a part of her from worrying all the same.

Papyrus thankfully recognized that Flowey's remarks could potentially start something with Sans, namely something that could end in many puns, and acted quickly to try and avoid that.

"OF COURSE!" He agreed, moving in a flash to pick up Flowey's pot. "COME ON FLOWEY, LET'S GO SEE WHAT FRISK IS UP TO. PERHAPS THEIR NEW DOG FRIEND IS LESS OF A NUISANCE THAN THE ONE AT HOME. OH! AND I CAN SHOW YOU THE PUZZLE DIAGRAMS THAT OUR OTHER NEW HUMAN FRIENDS HAVE SHARED WITH ME!"

With that, despite Flowey beginning to offer protest, Papyrus gave Toriel and Sans a wink and then hurried off towards where Frisk was. Toriel really did owe that skeleton, more than she could ever hope to repay. With everyone around them sufficiently occupied, she and Sans looked at each other before leaving the tent and heading for the nearby hill.

They walked in a silence that invited back the somberness and proper heavy emotions the ancient grounds deserved. Soon the sounds of the human camp behind them fell away, and there was only the soft crunching of the grass beneath their feet. Well… more so  _her_  feet. Given that Sans' incredibly light footfalls hardly made a sound, especially compared to her own heavy paws. Had Sans been making this trek to the hill alone, he likely would not have disturbed the quiet of this place much at all. If the situation had been less solemn, she likely would have found some amusement in that.

It seemed all too slow, yet all to quick that they reached the hill. Then found themselves climbing up a short set of worn, ancient steps to the site of the grave at the hill's top. The remains of the decorative marble building used to mark this spot was notably in far better shape than the castle. It displayed its age certainly, but much of it still held strong, even littered with cracks and the same invading creeping vines. Clearly there had been some effort, likely still during ancient times, to maintain this grave, unlike the castle they left to rot beyond it.

There was no roof, save for the protection of the towering elm above them. It reminded Toriel vaguely of the willow by her own home. Only fanciful walls encircled the area and headstone in the back. There were ornately carved depictions of angels, trees and flowers in the ancient stone walls, flowing into what Toriel assumed must have been Adean's royal crest on either side, complete with the King's signature spear and a small depiction of Mt. Ebott in its center.

For a King, she couldn't help but think it was rather humble indeed. The old Adean she'd known would have liked that, but she could not vouch for anything regarding their true nature anymore. Regardless, she was surprised that this was all a reigning King had been offered in death. Especially in regards to the headstone itself. It was rather simple. A large square base with a long pointed tower shaped structure emerging from it, only barely taller than Toriel herself. It bore Adean's name along the base and other text along the tower, surprisingly all still rather legible despite the centuries of wear. It was all also beautifully decorated in the same vein as the walls, but it was still so… simple.

Surely she remembered correctly that human royalty were given much pomp and circumstance, even in death? Why, in the early days, her own family had had more elegant graves commissioned for some of the royal pets than this. They at least got statues, which sadly had not survived the centuries it seemed. Perhaps the lack of finer detail spoke ill of how Adean was actually perceived in death by their kingdom. Whether due to their apparent suicide, their grievous actions towards monsterkind, or some other reason beyond her knowledge, Toriel couldn't say.

She spared little attention to the surrounding decor, finding her eyes drawn quickly to the words engraved at the base of the grave as she and Sans came to a stop before it.

_Adean Ebott_

_13th King of the great kingdom of Ebott, Conqueror of Monsterkind._

She caught the sight of Sans wincing a bit at those words out of the corner of her eye. But while his gaze quickly moved to the words on the tall part of the grave. Toriel's lingered on that name for a long time, taking in all the meaning and memories that it carried for her. She knew as well from what Burgundy had said what else would be written on the grave, and she wasn't sure just how ready she was to take it all in. Sans' expression, while more controlled beside her then, betrayed enough unease to further that sentiment.

But in the end, it had to be done before she left this place. She knew deep down she wouldn't be summoning up the strength to come back here for a long time. So she steadied herself, gripped Sans' small hand a little tighter for support, and lifted her gaze to the inscription on the tall part of the grave.

_Excerpt of the Final Written Words of Ebott's 13th King_

_No prosperity was worth this. No matter how my people and my own dearest loved ones sing my praises and live out their joys and comforts, I can not share in it. The older I grow, the more my mind's walls fail me. I am deafened by the wailing of the mountain. Of the boiling misery of the souls beneath it. It consumes me. It calls me to it. It haunts me. It screams for my blood in voices familiar to me. Screams I can no longer deafen with a heavy golden crown. Screams that have robbed me of all Determination. All rest. All hope. All happiness. All will to go on for even what little time I have left._

_So it is here, in the place where my greatest sins began, I will end my life, knowing that humanity will still prosper unfairly in my absence. May the spirits of some of my earliest victims here at this castle witness it, and be appeased some by the spilling of my blood. The shattering of my soul. It is all I have left to give._

_Send my body into the earth without a marker when you find me, so that I may finally suffer some fraction of what I justly deserve for what I did in my youth._

That was all. At least, all that the humans who constructed this gravesite had chosen to include. Toriel had reason to believe there was more, especially keeping in mind Adean's final wishes had been so directly ignored. That fact suddenly made even the meager decor surrounding them feel sinful for its mere existence.

Was there more to that note that Adean had written before they died? Had they apologized to Toriel, Asgore or their families by name? Had they shared any remorse more personal to their betrayal in particular? Toriel didn't doubt it. She knew the human had written down their thoughts in their journals most nights, often filling pages upon pages. This would be terribly short by their standards.

Knowing that there was likely more that she would never get to see, apologies she would never get to receive, it made her feel robbed somehow, even though she knew no words of remorse could ever truly make up for a fraction of what she and all of monsterkind suffered due to Adean's actions. Her soul churned with uneasy emotion as her eyes scanned over the words a few more times. Eventually, she stopped and slowly released a heavy breath she didn't know she had been holding. Beside her, she could tell Sans was about to say something, but before he could, Toriel eased herself down to the ground on her knees before the grave, surprising him into silence.

Like this, she and her dear skeleton were almost at an equal height, save for a few inches. The cracked marble was cool against her legs, and the sprigs of plantlife poking up where it could find passage lightly tickled her fur. But none of those sensations could distract her from what she felt she must do, from the image of Adean in her mind, standing in the throne room opening.

She absently rolled the golden petal in her sleeve between two fingers, then looked over at Sans, whose expression was fraught with concern. She gave him a reassuring look, but one that also communicated something silent and heavy. Sans blinked at her, losing much of the tension in his small frame. Then without a word, he sank down to sit beside her, crossing his legs and slipping his hands into his hoodie pockets.

They both looked at the grave in silence for another few moments, then Toriel gathered herself, and found the will to speak.

"Greetings… Adean…" She said softly, her voice seeming to pierce the ancient quiet of the place, one only filled by the sounds of the nature that sought to reclaim it. "It has certainly been some time."

The words hung, and for a moment Toriel felt truly foolish for what she was doing. But Sans pressed a bit closer to her side, and there came a silent encouragement from his soul. It was enough to convince her to continue, her expression remaining hard and nearly expressionless.

"I do not know if you truly can hear me, but… from what I have heard and seen myself. I would not be surprised if you could." She went on, once again lightly rubbing the soft golden petal against her paw pads.

There was another pause, and Toriel found some part of herself desiring to prick an ear and listen for some reply from beyond the grave, or some sound that betrayed that the phantom version of her former friend had returned. But she knew such a thing would break her resolve. She was not doing this for them in the end after all, but for her own sake.

"Forgiveness... is not something that comes as easily to me as the others." She went on, voice beginning to gain an edge of emotion again. "And truly, there is nothing that can wash away the sins of war… of what you and your forces did to my family… of what the whole of humankind did to what few monsters survived the massacre under your orders…"

She felt her teeth grit together at that, in the first signs of a snarl. Even now, trying to take in the scope of what Adean's actions had led to made her soul feel as though it were being clawed at. It was so hard to accept that the orders of a single human king could have led to so much death, and so many centuries of misery for those who did survive. Truly Adean's stain upon the world was deep, and darkly red. No amount of remorse could ever make what they did go away. No matter their reasoning for doing what they did, there was no truly forgiving this. Not for her.

And yet, her soul still ached in her chest… for the image of the young human who had once been so dear to her. In the tree above, a lark cheerfully sang out its song, drawing her back to the task of speaking, rather than simply ruminating.

"But… you were once my dearest friend." She went on slowly, curling her claws against her knees. "My only real friend my own age, for quite some time. I still know not what drove you to make such a wretched decision. I know what the stories say… but I do not know what it truly was in your once kindly soul that turned it so cold."

She shut her eyes, finding these words and this situation all too familiar. The image of yet another King that had fallen from grace entered her mind, then the faces of her two living children joined them and it made her soul churn sickly with conflicted emotions.

"Unfortunately, it seems that such things… are not uncommon among those I care for." She said, with a aggrieved, somewhat bewildered sort of chuckle. "All souls are capable of great evil, human and monster alike. Such things should ideally be black and white in terms of whether or not those to succumb to that evil should be forgiven, but… more and more, I find that it is not that simple. It is not that simple at all..."

She ran a paw down her face for a moment, fighting against the first signs of a emerging headache. Her throat tightened up a bit with emotion as well, leaving her briefly unable to continue until the moment passed, her red eyes opened once more, and she had set her paw back into her lap.

"If it is true that your spirit is trapped here in unrest because of your remorse, as I fear it is…" She went on, hesitantly. "Then truly… I hope that my visiting here could be what allows you to finally move on to wherever you need to be going. Or at least… helps in that process. Perhaps Asgore could stand to visit here too..."

Thoughts about how that may or may not actually help the potential situation ran through her head briefly. And she pondered just how Asgore would react to such an idea, in contrast to herself. He had taken Adean's betrayal far harder than even she had back then, nearly shutting down entirely when she and him abruptly both found themselves the new leaders of monsterkind at its absolute lowest and most chaotic point. He had never fully lost the hatred for humanity Adean had inspired in him. It still dwelled in the deepest parts of his soul, locked away, but not truly extinguished.

It inspired doubt in her that he'd be willing to come to this place if he knew Adean was buried here. Hell, it would have made her hesitate coming here as well had she known. He clearly was excited to give her that letter because she thought it would make her happy to know her former home was still standing, not giving enough thought to the deeper implications that would come with it. Such things seemed to define her ex husband as of late… No, that had always been a part of him. Hindsight was always clearer after all.

She wondered then as well, what she would be saying to her deceased former friend if she had come here before attempting to begin mending things with Asgore. She had changed so much in such a short time… would her soul have been too hardened, too hurt to even attempt what she was doing now? She supposed it was better that she would never know.

"I cannot truly ever forgive such evil acts Adean." She said with more strength and sternness to her voice. "But… I can at least let you know that monsterkind has moved on from your actions. We are free now, and are making strides everyday to heal further from the centuries of imprisonment and misery you inflicted upon us. Your sins will stain many a future generation, but we will move past it, and we  _will_ thrive again."

Those words lit the fire of her own determination and she pressed on with more confidence, drawing herself up as she spoke.

"We have found our own way out of the darkness, led by a child who is... so remarkably like you… in appearance, in preferred pronouns and in wayward tendencies..." That made her falter momentarily, images of both Frisk and Chara emerging in her mind, the latter looking even more so like the ancient human buried here, but she continued unheeded. "What gods could have laid out such a coincidence, I could not imagine, but there is nothing more your remorse and misery can do to make up for what you have done."

Those words carried an odd mix of emotions, all distant, yet still enough to burn at her soul in that moment. Part of feared what words wanted to leave her next, as she knew treating the human responsible for all of monsterkind's suffering with any sort of courtesy carried its own potential sin with it. But the words came anyway, as though unbidden.

"I am truly sorry Adean, for whatever it was that turned your soul so far away from being that human child who once pulled pranks with me, shared books with me, and taught me to appreciate the beauty of the little things in life. The loss of that child... could never not be a tragedy to me."

Almost as unconsciously as the words she spoke, she suddenly found her paw moving forward to rest against the cool marble ancient grave. The stone felt rough with age against her paw pads, and she silently extended and curled her claws against its surface as well. She drew in a deep breath, then let it out slowly. Her soul seemed to release something too during with the act, but what it was, she wasn't certain.

"Go in peace now if you can. Do not wallow through eternity over your past sins. There is nothing more to be accomplished. It is over Adean, it is done." She declared, regaining more of her former royal tone then than any other time since she left the throne.

With that, she pulled her paw briefly back into her sleeve then lowered it down to the base of the grave. Carefully, she opened her paw and laid the golden petal there, in a small patch of dappled sunlight from above. The uneven surface of the worn marble cradled it safely from the breeze, and the sunlight so enhanced its hues that it all but glowed there where it lay. Her paw remained partially curled around it for a few moments as she found herself unable to look away. She could tell Sans was looking at it too, surprised and confused, but not enough to speak and interrupt her moment.

She knew not if what she had seen had been real, if this petal truly had any meaning beyond that of indulging an old lady's delusions, if any of this had any true point to it at all. Yet, she couldn't deny there was a great stirring in her soul as she looked down at the tiny petal and its brilliant gold. She still couldn't place the exact emotions, nor their source, but they once again drove the final words from her mouth, just as she pulled her paw back into her lap and bowed her head.

"Goodbye… my old friend." She said, picturing as she did the image of the younger Adean, who had once been so dear to her… and quietly… letting it go.

The process took longer than she realized, and she ended up remaining where she was for a minute or so after the words had left her. Sans didn't say anything about it though, he just remained by her side, utterly silent. Part of her even wondered if he had dozed off in response to all her aimlessness, but no, his soul's pulse was steady and supportive, heavy with the emotions of the situation. And it was that pulse of his soul that restored her strength and pulled her back to the present reality at hand. There was a sensation then, like she was waking up from another one of her dreams, and the mindscape she'd been in previously was melting away.

She managed a smile after another moment, as the feeling faded and the world around them seemed to… shift somehow. She got her feet beneath her and began to rise up to her full height again. As she did, she offered a paw to her dear skeleton.

"Come now, my love." She said warmly, decidedly not looking at the grave any longer. "Let us head home for now."

He blinked up at her, and she could see there was so much he wanted to say, to ask her. She could imagine he was realizing just how much about her he didn't and couldn't truly know, even considering his own situation. Perhaps he was fully grasping the reality of her life as an immortal being, and all she had lived through as a result. But despite the near visible thoughts that were consuming him, he reached up and took her paw, allowing her to gently pull him to his feet.

"yah, okay tori…" He said in a quietly awed sort of tone, no hint of his usual joviality present.

She could hardly blame him for feeling dazed after all that. It was an awful lot for him to be taking in at once. She knew it was pointless to feel guilty for that at this point, but she still hoped he would not be too troubled by today's events. Truly, even though she was the one who should be feeling devastated and overwhelmed at the moment, she felt… oddly content now that she knew it was over and she had faced it all.

Perhaps she felt a bit distant now. The pain was there… but it felt manageable… controlled… even conquered in some way? It was likely just the "shock" of it all wearing off, but she was grateful for it nonetheless.

But she feared the same may not apply to Sans, having to sort through all these ancient events and their current consequences and figure out how to feel about them. And as they turned hand in hand and began to exit the grave site down the same short set of stairs they used to enter, it seemed her fears were justified.

"Oh my dear, are you crying?" She asked, pausing at the foot of the steps, just as their feet met the grass again.

Sans stopped beside her, seeming surprised by the question. He blinked in confusion and reached up to touch his face, then sure enough, pulled his hand back to find it wet.

"wha- oh… huh… guess so." he said, sounding far more perplexed about that fact than anything else as he stared at the offending moisture on his phalanges.

Toriel felt her soul give off a harsh pang, and she turned to him with a fretful expression.

"I am so sorry if hearing all that upset you…" She apologized, gripping his hand a little tighter. "I did get a little carried away, did I not?"

To her surprise, he smiled at that and let out something of a hoarse chuckle before rubbing his sleeve over his sockets.

"nah, its fine…" He said, looking up to her once his sockets were dry again. "sheesh… pretty dumb though huh? i'm hardly the one who should be a mess right now."

Now it was her turn to blink in surprise, before her expression softened into something less stressed and a bit of her smile returned. The reality of what was happening was sinking in and it was far less worrisome than what she had initially feared. She softened her grip on his hand, and tenderly swept her thumb over it.

"Not at all, I am glad you seem less reserved over such things now." She said gently, feeling warmer emotions bloom within her soul, chasing the chill of what this place had stirred in her away. "And I truly thank you Sans… for being here for me today. It… means a lot."

His expression softened up in turn, no longer carrying that far away look in his eyelights. From her grip on his hand, she felt his soul return her warmth, pulling all her attention and potential drifting thought firmly on him.

"no prob t. i'm… glad i came too. for all of it. even that stuff with ol g." He replied with an earnest tone, before looking out at the impressively beautiful view of the castle grounds the hill offered them. "and if there's any other places out there you wanna explore sometime, i think i'd be up for it. so long as you can cas- _sell_ it well, of course.  _"_

As usual, such a pun turned out to be exactly what she needed at that moment, and she laughed a laugh wholly inappropriate for the place they were currently standing in front of. But she didn't care, she needed it, and it was clear he needed it too, for he joined her without question, having to lean against her for support as the wheezes of laughter heaved through his small frame.

She wrapped her arms around him and held him to her all the while, just letting the foolish, poorly convinced humor reduce her to a giggling mess. Enough to forget, or at least dull the darker thoughts returning to her old home had invited. And for a while, they just stood there at the foot of that ancient gravesite and laughed themselves silly over nothing at all. It was simply their way it seemed, and she sincerely hoped that would never change.

Eventually, when all the giggles and snorts of amusement had ceased, there was a sense that a great weight had been lifted off both of them. Though Sans reacted to this by continuing to lean on her for support, Toriel herself felt a certain energy had returned to her after such a long day. There was a certain confidence there as well, making her soul feel as though it were glowing brightly within her. She looked down at him then, in a way that probably made him think he was about to be hit with a much more serious question than he actually was.

"Sans, would it be alright if I carried you on the way back this time?" She asked warmly. "After all, you spent all that time today walking and carrying Frisk… We would not want you to exhaust yourself on that long walk back, now would we?"

That explanation was the main reason for her asking that, yes, but… there was a bit more too it as well. After all that had happened today, all he had done for her, his willingness to be by her side through it all, she felt a deep need to repay him, even with the knowledge that he almost certainly had similar thoughts in the reverse regarding her. But even so, she wanted to do this for him, silly and small a thing as it was. Plus… she really would like an excuse to hold him close right now, after spending so much time today ruminating over those she'd long lost.

Sans was a little surprised by the request, but still a bit caught up in the lingering high from their shared laughing fit, he didn't take too long to agree.

"heh... yah, wouldn't want that." He said with a nod, voice steadily beginning to sober up. "sounds good to me tori."

She smiled brightly and shot him a look that was rather thankful in nature before moving to scoop him up off his feet bridal style. She adjusted him into a comfortable position, so that he could sit up in the crook of her arm and lean against her shoulder. After a moment of hesitation, he slid an arm around the back of her neck and settled against her with a soft sigh of contentment. She responded by giving him a light nuzzle, as her long ears caught the breeze and lightly flapped in the wind. He flushed a bit from her actions and pulled down into his hood somewhat, but managed not to get as flustered as he usually did from such things. They shared another soft laugh then she began to walk, trekking back through the grass to the tents in the distance at a steady pace.

They both went quiet again for a bit after that, with only distant sounds from the camp and Toriel's tromping through the tall, wild grass breaking the silence. After a bit though, Sans did speak up again, his voice a touch more somber and serious than before.

"you gonna be okay?" He asked, and his soul mirrored the question with a soft pulse of concern.

It was so very close to her own then, it all but mixed with her own emotions. As much as she would have loved to keep up the jovial atmosphere and reply confidently with a pun of her own to boot, or even direct the question right back at him, she knew she needed to be honest with him then. They'd had their fun breaking the tension of the conversation, but the hard truth of it still needed to be addressed before they left, lest it linger within her and add to the already enormous weight upon her soul. Lest it continue to pick at her old wounds in its quest to send her over the edge.

"I cannot promise that…" She admitted as she continued on walking at a slightly slower pace, her red eyes becoming a touch hazy all the while. "But I have plenty of reasons to believe I will. Reliving all of this has been harder than I ever thought, especially with all the new information that came to light that I was ignorant of..."

Her expression softened again at that, as she cast a weighty look at the castle.

"And yet… despite everything… doing all this feels like it has eased something inside me." She concluded, resting her free paw briefly over her chest.

Sans blinked at her, then smiled a true smile, even if that meant it was smaller than his usual grin. Then he nuzzled his skull into the crook of her neck, letting out a yawn before speaking his soft reply.

"glad to hear it." He all but mumbled, earnestly, but all weighed down with sleepiness. "i think... i'll be okay too."

She giggled warmly again to herself, shifting him a little to accommodate his skull better. By the time she had completed the little motion, he was fast asleep, snoring away with that small smile on his face like he didn't have a care in the world. Yet even in sleep, his soul was making an effort to share love and comfort with her own. She could hardly imagine a nicer sight and feeling to be blessed with in that moment.

She focused back an appreciative pulse of her own before continuing down the hill at her earlier pace, one that would ideally give her plenty of time to enjoy the moment, but still keep an eye on her children in the distance as she approached from her vantage point.

Her words from before rang true. She knew she was still overwhelmed and stressed from everything the world had dumped on her shoulders in such a short time. Things that gone as far as to shatter her entire worldview or changed her whole outlook on certain relationships she had with others in what felt like a blink of an eye. And it wasn't over. She was sure now that her children would be revealing to her whatever great secret it was that they had been struggling to keep all this time. Something, no doubt, big.

But somehow, she did feel right then that she would be able to bear it. Surely it could not be any more shocking or devastating than anything else she had been put through thus far, right? If what Sans had told her of her children's actions had not turned her soul against them, then nothing would. She could endure whatever great revelation they had for her. Her soul was becoming hardened against her usual panic and paranoia, she could feel that deep down. And she had such a wonderful source of support to see her through whatever it may be.

She would listen to them, take in what they said and deal with it as she had everything else. No,  _better_ than she had everything else. She wasn't on the edge of cracking as she had been fearing, she was getting stronger. This trip had certainly helped with that. There was nothing they could tell her that she couldn't deal with. And they would all be better off once whatever great hidden truth they had been keeping to themselves was out in the open to be known.

She had to believe that.

In that moment, as she continued down through the thick waving grass of the hillside, she was suddenly sure she could feel someone watching her. She felt, specifically, a pair of ancient, familiar eyes looking down at her from the hilltop gravesite, the gaze powerful enough to make the fur on the back of her neck stand on end. It made her realize that feeling had been following her around all that day, lingering as a small source of unease until the moments it decided to make itself known. With her powerful ears, she swore she could hear the faint sound of a poncho flapping in the breeze, far behind her.

She did not look back.


	31. Inopportune

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ((I am so excited to finally begin this arc, the final arc. Its pretty crazy to think its been nearly a year since I started this fic. Now I'm finally writing the ending I planned all the way back then. We still have a good number of chapters left before it all wraps up, but we are in the home stretch now. I hope you enjoy~ Won't bombard you with life updates this time, i'm getting along day by day. ^^)) 
> 
> (Warnings for this chapter: Alcohol use)

Four days.

Four days had passed since she and her family had visited her old castle home. And still, her children had not come to talk with her about whatever great secret… or more likely,  _secrets_ … they were hiding.

That first night, she thought they were holding back simply out of the desire to focus on being there for her after they had all learned of some of the darkest parts of her history. She had hoped that this willingness on her part to share with them her own burdening secrets would inspire them further towards sharing their own. But it seemed that was simply not going to be the case.

They had become more distant towards her in the passing days, Frisk utilizing that neutral face of theirs that they so often used when they wanted to conceal their true emotions. And Flowey often avoided her gaze and hardly spoke a word, which was concerning coming from a monster that so rarely held his tongue. Toriel would have honestly have rather he spout his usual biting words, rather than subject her to this unbearable silent treatment.

She didn't understand why. Before they had seemed so very determined to tell her, they had both seemed set on it. Frisk… and whatever mysterious being it was that shared their headspace. So why were they not saying anything? Why must they torment her so? She feared that she was becoming so distraught over it, that it was starting to show in her outward behavior, and that they were surely beginning to see through the fact that she knew something. Was that the reason they were holding back? Had she made them lose their nerve towards telling her entirely?

"they're probably just waiting for next weekend tori." Sans had patiently reasoned with her, multiple times, when they were alone together. "they wouldn't want to share something big like this when you'd have to worry about work that same day. just hold out a little longer, okay? if they don't say anything by then…. i'll talk to them, just like i said before."

It was fair to say Sans was probably right, but that did not stop her fretful mind from fearing the worst anyway. Despite it all though, she found what distraction and comfort she could in her usual routines, burying herself in chores and in her duties at the school in order to keep her mind from drifting into any number of burdening thoughts. She may have also fallen into a habit of… "stress baking", to the point there was hardly a time during those four days where there wasn't one or two desserts sitting on the counter or in the fridge.

It couldn't keep her stress away completely, but it did help. Just like when she was in the Ruins, being busy kept her mind occupied from everything it could… and perhaps ideally  _should_  be thinking about. And Sans, bless him, was making a point to be with her whenever he could. Always happy to offer up jokes, meaningless but beloved conversation and a helping hand to many of her impulsive pie making binges. But not even he could stave off her increasing anxiety and dread, which grew steadily inside her during the passing days like some terrible blight upon her soul. And perhaps it would not have been nearly as bad… if her sleep was not also a place of such torment for her.

The nightly visions hadn't stopped, nor had the utterly splitting headaches that followed them each time she awoke. And just as they had feared, they only seemed to be growing worse without explanation. So bad in fact, that she found certain thoughts had even begun to trigger some flicker of them during the day. They were brief, but still greatly vexing to deal with and left her rather dizzy and even disoriented in their wake. The times this happened at the school were especially troublesome, worrying her students and coworkers to no end.

Sans, of course, blamed himself for it all. And on top of his other attempts at helping her through it, he had been working tirelessly the past four days to find the answer as to why she was suffering each night the way she was. He brought the printed report from Alphys' shed and his notebook with him every day to work, and she had caught him plenty of times abandoning his duties to pour over it.

Every time, she pretended not to notice, knowing that he would continue to do so even if she protested. And she knew deep down, that this affliction of hers was getting more and more worrisome by the day. If it continued on getting worse at this rate… she truly feared what may happen to her. His dedication to helping her was both touching… and appropriate for the situation.

It was all that stress and all those thoughts mixing and swirling endlessly through her mind that had left her painfully wide awake the night after the fourth day of silence from her children. Not even Sans' soul, slightly stirred up, but still contently sharing magic in his sleep, had managed to soothe her enough to follow suit. It was like before all this had happened, when her insomnia had a terribly firm grip on her.

So, in something of a haze, she had found herself wandering out into the kitchen and, in a moment of weakness, grabbing the tall bottle of wine she kept in a child proof cabinet on the top shelf. The fact she had a class to teach in the morning did not even enter her thoughts then. That is how far gone her mind had drifted at that point, that she would neglect her own duties and personal integrity. The very thing she had fought so long and hard for. Part of her almost wondered if she was dreaming, so out of it she was.

Before she truly realized what was happening, she found herself out on the porch swing, shakily pouring the dark colored wine into a plastic children's cup that had somehow ended up being the drinkware she'd grabbed on her way outside. The cup was bright green and covered in colorful pictures of zoo animals. Their cartoony eyes stared back at her as she finished filling the cup, as though silently judging her for her pathetic, woefully irresponsible life choices. She tipped it back for a gulp just so she didn't have to look at them anymore.

The wine burned as the large amount of it slid down her throat, causing her to cough twice and slosh a little of the liquid still in the cup over her paw. It caused a dark pink stain to appear on her white fur, sticky and unsettlingly close in appearance to blood. She set the cup down for the moment and held her paw up to examine the "damage" as it were. She watched as some of the strong smelling wine dripped down her paw pads and off the tip of her claws, vanishing into the darkness of the porch's wooden floor below her.

It should have been the sign that she needed to stop. That she needed to go wash up. That she needed to pull herself together and stop acting so utterly deplorable. But instead, she found herself taking yet another fiery gulp of the wine as though her own thoughts had no bearing on her actual actions anymore. Just like when she witnessed her past, lost memories through her dreams. It would have been terrifying… had she had the full presence of mind to perceive it. The second swallow of alcohol added to the burning sensation within her soul, beginning the task of dulling her mind even further.

She was oddly content with that in the moment, the idea of letting it all fade from her awareness, if just for a while. Even though she didn't regret her choice to share the burden of Sans' terrible secrets in order to help him, and know she would do it again without hesitation, it didn't change the fact that it was taking an immense toll on her. One that only seemed to grow worse by each passing day, as more and more pieces of this unending puzzle they were all wrapped up in came to light. She pondered then, through the haziness of her mind, how much better off all of them would be, Sans included, if they had all simply been ignorant to the reality of their world.

Such thoughts and continual dissociation likely would have led her to downing a dangerous amount of the wine, perhaps even the full cup. But before she could think to take another drink, a familiar voice suddenly brought her back to a better level of awareness.

"y'know, this is something of a… deja vu role reversal now isn't it?" Said the voice in question, and she turned her head to see Sans, somehow, had appeared on the porch swing beside her.

She blinked, inclined to be surprised by his inexplicable appearance, but she knew him well enough at this point to know that such things were not at all surprising coming from him. Plus, she was still just out of it enough for it not to warrant much of a reaction. Sans was still in his pajamas she'd seen him fall asleep in, which for him meant an oversized black galaxy print t-shirt and dark blue sweatpants. He was looking at her with an expression that was difficult to read, but clearly marked with concern. Especially within the soft, lovely glow of his eyelights in the dark of the night.

She took a moment to process his words and respond. For that short time, the only sounds were the soft chirping of crickets and the distant rustle of the willow tree's limbs gently teased by the wind. Conflicted, somewhat muted emotions stirred within her soul then, beginning to push through the haze that had gripped her.

"I... suppose so…" She finally replied, voice low and surprisingly thick as though she were ill.

She looked down at the plastic cup of dark wine in her paw and lifted it with a small shake in his general direction.

"I suspect… you are here to take this away from me?" She said, tone rather flat.

She had meant for it to come off as a joke of some sort, but it seemed her more negative emotions resulted in her words having more of a bite than she intended. Sans didn't appear too stung by it though, only quirking a brow ridge at her words before offering a weak, but knowing smile.

"well… i'm no expert on these things… but i think i'd be a pretty shitty uh... "boyfriend", if i didn't tori." He said, flushing a bit with an embarrassed chuckle after that term in particular left him. "heh, i don't think that word's ever gonna sound natural coming from me."

Toriel wanted to laugh at that, or feel any of the appropriate emotions really. But the moment passed where one would reasonably expect a reaction, and she found she could only continue to blankly look at him. His grin fell a bit at that, but he didn't back down. He shifted a little closer, making deliberate eye contact with her.

"y'know you wouldn't let  _me_ drink myself into a stupor." He reasoned, tone soft and perhaps a little sad. "and i know you don't want to deal with the hangover on top of everything else tomorrow morning, 'specially when you have classes to teach. i understand if you want to  _wine_ about it all a little though."

His smile perked up again reflexively at his own pun and he looked at her expectantly. But again, she just… couldn't find it in herself to laugh just then. And that fact made her feel worse than she probably should over it. Didn't she assure him just a few days ago that she would be okay? That was turning out to be more and more of a lie by the day. Enough so that not even his puns were able to get her to fully snap out of her funk. There was hardly a worse sign than that, was there not?

Sans' expression dulled again, grin slipping and concern causing his eyelights to dim. But still, he did not turn away. In some meager effort to redeem the situation, she let out a soft, weary sigh and forced herself to at least comply with what she knew he wanted. Even if her more positive emotions did not wish to return at that moment, she could certainly still feel a burning sense of shame growing more intense each passing second. Without a word and while avoiding his gaze, she handed over the plastic cup still half full of wine, as well as the bottle it had been poured from.

He took them from her in a gentle manner, first with his hands and then by using his magic to set them down on the side table beside the porch swing. A pained sort of silence stretched between them then as she continued to stare down at nothing, not having the will to look at him as more and more awareness of her contemptible behavior crept into her soul. Her head was clearing enough that she wanted to let out a flood of apologies, but the gentle touch of his hand on her paw kept that from happening. It did, however, give her the nerve to meet his gaze again.

He didn't need to say anything in that moment, the sympathy, guilt, and familiar heaviness in his eyelights said it all.

"c'mere." He implored gently, slowly wrapping his arms around her from behind and making an effort to ease her much larger body closer to him. "let's just… chill out for a bit, ok?"

Understanding his intentions, she only hesitated a moment before her need for comfort and security won over her own self loathing. She moved as he did, and after a few moments of shifting to get comfortable on the somewhat creaky wooden swing, she found herself laying down with her head in his lap, the back of it resting against his ribcage. It allowed her a from-below view of him that was quite a rarity indeed, given their difference in size.

She blinked up at him, feeling some flicker of warmer emotions return as his soul pulsed so very near her own. It willed her to be calm, to be content, to feel loved. And not even the haze of detachment and the newly consumed alcohol could stop those feelings from coming through. He slipped his arms under her long ears and rested his skull on the curve of her horns. That close contact was something she craved so deeply, but she never seemed to recognize that fact until she was actually receiving it. She was torn between the urge to close her eyes in contentment and her desire to keep looking up at him.

"here." He murmured suddenly, thankfully making the decision for her. "you can have this instead."

One of his warm arms disappeared for a moment, then returned with something notably cool. She reached up instinctually with her paw and took it from him, finding it to be a water bottle. She let out a weak, humorless chuckle at that. He was right, this really  _was_ a role reversal for them. She wasn't fully sure how to feel about that, but the input from his soul didn't let as much negativity as before cloud her thoughts. More and more they were washed away with every wave of magic from his soul.

She popped the plastic lid off the bottle with a claw and took a few sips of water. It didn't satisfy the craving she'd been indulging earlier, but it did seem to make her feel a little better. If only by placebo effect.

"Thank you, my dear." She replied softly, finally finding her voice.

She wished to say more. He deserved to hear more from her. But she just… didn't know what to say. What words could sum up how utterly pathetic this whole situation was? How irresponsible, how shameful, how…

Those thoughts were halted as Sans moved his hands to lightly cup her long ears. Then he began to rub them between his phalanges, tenderly smoothing out the silky fur present there. She was momentarily rendered unable to think at all, mind left thoroughly blank by his actions. Did he... know?

There was an inside joke among boss monsters. Or at least, there had been when there were quite a deal more of them in the world. Her father had told her that the quickest way to subdue any boss monster, even one as hardened as her mother had been, was to give them a nice ear rub. It could reduce any one of them to putty in the other's hands. That conversation had ended with her father having a fancy pillow thrown at his face from across the room. But the fact remained that he was right.

While her mind had no desire to think back on how Asgore would once do this for her when she was stressed or tired, and especially during her pregnancy, that time served as further proof. Especially since he had been the same way... It had even been a near surefire way of getting Asriel to sleep. Just holding him close, softly stroking those tiny velvety ears, and humming to him that ancient song of Home…

To say she was thoroughly comforted by Sans' actions was quite the understatement. It was a struggle to not all out melt into his touch, goofy giddy grin and all. Being that receiving affection like this was still something she was getting used to again didn't help her retain her composure either. She looked up and met his gaze again through half-lidded eyes, managing a stronger smile.

"Now that is just unfair…" She sighed, shifting a little in order to make the task easier for him and crossing her paws over her stomach. "I suppose you have figured out my weaknesses then, have you not?"

That brought a grin to his face, pushing through the more hesitant, weak smile that had been there before. Judging from the dusting of cyan still visible on his cheekbones, getting himself to do this had taken a bit of courage on his part. He was getting better at that though, faster than he realized. She could remember fondly how nervous and flustered he used to become just from holding her paw back when this all started.

"yup." He answered simply, with a rare sparkle of confidence in his eyelights. "wasn't too hard, 'specially when i have uh… similar ones."

That seemed to put a dimmer on that confidence and brought that bright blush back to his face. But after a moment, something seemed to occur to him and that shine returned to his eyelights. Along with a hint of mischievousness.

"plus, this is what made you purr that one time, remember?" He noted, giving her ears a more deliberate stroke with his bony thumbs.

She frowned up a him for that, puffing up her cheeks a bit with a huff. Her arms shifted to cross and she drummed her claws irritabily against the plastic water bottle. He just had to bring  _that_ up.

"I would rather not discuss that." She said, fighting against a blush of her own that was trying to form. "It was dreadfully embarrassing."

Part of her was ready to get up and leave after that comment, pulled enough from her earlier haze that her personal pride was capable of being wounded again. But she couldn't make herself do that, and not just because being shown this personal attention was so wonderful. With the way she'd been acting, she had little cause to be concerned with her own self worth.

"aww c'mon t, i really did think it was cute." He insisted, tone surprisingly genuine, if still rather jovial.

He rested one of his hands on her forehead and slowly swept his phalanges through the fur there, in and out from between her horns.

"it's like, natural for boss monsters right?" He went on, the smile evident in his voice. "you shouldn't feel embarrassed about it. just means you are happy, right?"

She didn't grace those questions with an answer. The frown remaining firmly on her face. Yes, he was technically right. But boss monsters, and most feline monsters really, avoided such behavior most wouldn't deem as suitable for civilized society. Of course… most also did not grow up as royalty, with a whole other level of expectations on presenting oneself. If she remembered correctly, her mother had told her making that sound, along with growling or anything of the sort made her seem "like some feral beast, absolutely unacceptable."

She had no reason to heed those words now, having long abandoned her royal title. Yet, the idea of doing  _that_ still made her feel terribly embarrassed. Even now it seemed, her royal roots still had their claws in her. And what sharp claws they were.

For the moment though, she eventually decided to play along with Sans a bit, unable to keep from being amused as she figured out his intentions with all this. Her frown softened into a small smile and her scarlet eyes slid shut.

"Ah, is that the true reason you are spoiling me so much right now?" She asked, in a lightly teasing tone. "This is all a ploy to hear that ridiculous sound from me again, is it not?"

He stiffened slightly and stopped petting her, but only for a moment. It was clear she had caught him, but he was managing to be resilient in his resolve today. Even if she herself was feeling lower than dirt at the moment, it made her happy to see that.

"maybe~" He replied, retaining confidence but clearly holding back a nervous chuckle. "i definitely wouldn't mind hearing it again... plus, it would let me know you are actually enjoying this and not just… humoring me."

His words were met with silence again. But this time, Toriel wasn't fully sure of the feelings driving it. She had fully intended to kindly let him down and turn the subject away from her embarrassing repressed habits. But she found his words, simple in their honesty, had stirred something in her soul. This idea that she was worrying over nothing again, the reminder that she truly had nothing to fear from Sans in that regard, and yet here she was once again slipping into the defensive.

It was silly, it was all so silly. And yet… it was again the dissonance he offered in regards to her old life that made her feel so very at ease. At ease enough to feel silly in the face of everything she was enduring. At ease enough to…

She slowly uncrossed her arms, settling her paws on the curve of her stomach instead and opening her eyes as she looked up at him again. Their gazes met, deep red and bright white and something silent but meaningful was communicated between them. No jokes or teasing this time, just a wordless understanding. It left Toriel with the encouragement needed to show a boldness on her part, just as he had with her.

When they finally broke that gaze, he kept right on stroking her ears as though they were among the most delicate and precious things one could ever hope to encounter. This time though, Toriel didn't fight her insecurities about enjoying it, instead directing her internal battles at the anxiety that wished to rob this moment from her. She shut her eyes again, letting herself all but melt under his touch and reaching into a part of her soul that had been pushed deep down by the passing centuries. And admittedly, the alcohol she had managed to get into her system likely helped with the process.

She hadn't done this willingly and openly for longer than she could even hope to surmise. But slowly, she gave into her natural instinct when faced with such contentment and love. She let herself be lost in those emotions and didn't think about her mother's opinions, her previous title, society, customs, or any of that. She just… let what came naturally… happen.

The sound was soft at first, nothing more than a small vibration deep in her throat. But then it grew in volume and strength, and she found her smile naturally grew with it, curling into an expression of peacefulness she so rarely wore on her time worn features. Soon enough, the sounds of the night now were undercut by a soft, warm, happy rumble. One that made Toriel sound like some massively oversized house cat in a particularly good mood. And it felt… nice. Nicer than she ever thought it would. It felt right, even. There was no other way to describe it but… natural.

Sans seemed to more than approve as well. He simply listened for a few moments, clearly taking in the sound and likely the accompanying sight of her as well. He didn't stop stroking her though, only slowing his movements some as the purring sound reached its full strength. She could feel from his soul that he was quite happy indeed that he'd managed to convince her of this, and also full of intrigue, as though what he was witnessing was something of great wonder. If she weren't so blissed out, she may have found that rather embarrassing as well. But right then she couldn't be bothered to feel anything but loved.

Eventually he did stop petting her, but only to slip his arms around her neck and hold her tight to him for a few moments. Partially just out of affection it seemed, but also likely wanting to feel her purring's soft rumble as well as hear it. She was happy to comply, turning her head some to offer him something of a nuzzle. The giddy feelings she could feel from his soul reminded her of what she had felt from him that first night they officially started their relationship. She had a feeling that if she could see his eye sockets in that moment, his eyelights would be in that wonderful heart shape again.

"wow." He finally said, sounding both dazed and amazed as he pressed his face into her fur. "i know this is gonna sound cheesy as hell, but that's really… well... beautiful."

She could practically hear the blush behind those words, even if they were still a good deal more confident than usual for him. If her vocal cords weren't occupied, she might have allowed herself a soft giggle at his expense. After a moment he loosened up his grip again, returning to idly stroking her long ears.

"heh... you're so amazing tori." He mused, almost sounding as though he only meant to speak to himself then.

The words, cheesy as they may be, were exactly what she needed to hear right now. She couldn't accept the compliment in full, as her self image was still in ruins, but the sentiment stuck and even brought a small sting of tears to her eyes. She blinked them away, and slowly trailed off her purring in order to speak again.

"Well… I think it is fair to say I think the same of you, love." She said, tilting her head back a little further in order to look up at him again.

He stopped in his stroking motions as her words sank in, and she couldn't help but smile at the wobbly grin on his face, paired with that oh so lovely shade of cyan. The magic causing the blush actually made the affected parts of his skull glow a bit in the darkness of the night. If he found her silly sound of contentment beautiful, then she certainly felt justified in finding that sight from him beautiful as well.

Her eyes and soul asked something of him once most of his flustered reaction had worn off. Unlike that very first time, she never let it be something done on impulse, at least not when it was like this. She waited for his silent answer, and it came as he moved his hands to better cradle her head. Letting him be the one to initiate it this time, she waited until he had gained the nerve to lean down and close the short distance between them.

The curve of his teeth pressed against her lips, and she felt that spark of magic pass between them once they made contact. It was an… interesting angle to be sharing a kiss from for sure, not exactly the romantic idea she had thought up in her somewhat alcohol addled head. Indeed, to a witness it would probably look quite… silly. But she supposed it was all the more fitting for them that their expressions of love be a bit silly in the end, was it not?

Their souls sang in that now familiar, lovely, unison, and Toriel was able to fully cast her original woes that had driven her out here out of her mind. At least for the moment. This night had started out so terribly, but now it seemed it may not turn out so bad after all.

They spent a good deal of time after that as they had before. With him continuing to insist on spoiling her and she just lying there, accepting it all with far less resistance. And yes, she did allow herself to keep purring for him. She found that for the time being, his reaction to it was worth any embarrassment she might feel over it all. How long exactly they stayed like that though, Toriel wasn't sure, a fact not helped by the alcohol she had managed to consume.

Eventually, she finally got a sense of the full reality of the situation again. That stopped that silly sound from her, and that alone seem to catch his attention. She didn't look up at him, but she reached up and took one of his hands in her paw, stopping it from continuing to pet her.

"You should go back to bed Sans." She said softly, gently rubbing his thin phalanges with her thumb. "One of us should be well rested for tomorrow."

Sans seemed a touch surprised by that, and she could feel that he was briefly caught up in conflicted emotions. But it seemed that spark of resolve she had felt from him before wasn't going away.

"heh... nah." He replied, in his usual lighthearted tone. "somehow i'm the one whose ended up sleeping well lately, thanks to you. and i can always catch up on z's by napping during my shift anyway."

She could all but hear the wink in his voice, even without looking up to see it. His attempts to charm her were admirable, but they simply weren't going to work this time. And her troubled silence seemed to communicate that to him well enough. The humor from his soul dulled, but did not die out completely. He closed his small hand around her paw, holding it as best he could.

"you stayed up with me when i was going through all my stuff and i know you'll do it again the next time i get low, 's only fair i do the same for you... is it not~?"

Those last few words he'd said in a painfully silly imitation of her own voice and usual tone. Something he'd apparently also done back in the Underground when describing to Frisk about their first meeting. She lightly batted at his face with her free paw in response, failing hold back a snort of amusement. One of his wonderful wheezy little chuckles was his reply.

"What am I ever going to do with you?" She mused once the giggles ceased, managing to maintain a small smile. "Do I really sound so haughty when I speak?"

He chuckled again and gave the top of her head a pat.

"nah, you sound… uh…"

He started off strongly, but faltered and paused for a moment, blush returning.

"well, i dunno a good word for it right now. but i guess the best way to say it is, you talk... pretty." He managed, not helping dull the color on his face. "i mean, y'know... you sound like you care about every word you say, like you chose them carefully and picked the nicest ones… kinda the opposite of me, heh."

Toriel giggled lightly at that, but felt rather touched all the same. Sometimes she couldn't help but feel a little embarrassed and alienated due to her formal way of speaking. Part of her really wanted to drop it, as a method of further distancing herself from her past as Queen perhaps, but every time she tried it just felt so unnatural. So to hear him affirm that he enjoyed her fanciful speech was a great relief. Sans might not think highly of how he himself spoke, but he still always seemed to find the right thing to say to ease her mind. That wasn't something that should be overlooked.

"Well, I am glad you approve. Though I still feel as though I should be trying to work more contractions into my vocabulary, it would certainly help me sound more like an average citizen, rather than former royalty." She said, before lovingly stroking his hand with her thumb again "And for the record, I like your manner of speech exactly the way it is, my dear. I would be quite startled if you adopted any of my speaking patterns. I do not think such things would suit you."

As with her, she could feel from his soul that her words summoned up a lovely mix of amusement and gratitude. And she managed to get him to laugh for the third time, even stronger than before. No matter what he said, she was always going to find that sound far more wonderful than her silly purring.

"heh, yah, i gotta agree there." He said, clearly grinning widely again. "no one needs to hear me try to talk all fancy. that just sounds like it would be a  _royal_ pain."

And just like that, he had pulled her back to herself again. Or at least, enough so to clear most of the lingering fog from her thoughts and reduce her to a familiarly giggly mess. Enough so that she had to cover her mouth with her paws to keep the sound from potentially being heard by the other skeleton and children in the house. He mirrored her laughter with his own, still holding her paw tight in his hand.

After that, he was able to draw her deeper into their usual banter, directing her mind away from her struggles for a while yet again. It wasn't until she heard him poorly suppress a yawn that she remembered herself and the situation.

"You really should go back to bed Sans." She said quietly, but in a less dull voice than before.

Sans didn't hesitate this time though, despite his clear exhaustion.

"sorry t, you're not getting rid of me." He replied matter of factly and she felt him beginning to stroke her ears again. "i'm not going in unless you come in with me."

She let out a weak sigh, knowing that she had little hope of dissuading him from that. She allowed him to tend to her again, but looked away out at the distant lights of Newer Home. The shrill chirping of crickets filled the silence that arose between them before she could get herself to speak again.

"I do not think I am going to be able to sleep Sans…" She admitted, drawing her crossed arms tighter against her body. "I just… cannot relax knowing that I am missing something so important with my children… that voice I heard from Frisk haunts me... and these dreams are so…"

She stopped, biting her lip until her fangs poked into it painfully. She didn't want to be drawn back into thinking about this, but it would have been foolish to think they could continue to avoid it all for too long. Her words made Sans pause in his actions again, and there was a small negative shift in the emotions of his soul.

"i know…" He said quietly, curling his phalanges against her shoulders. "i'm sorry i haven't figured it out yet..."

Those words immediately stirred up her nurturing instincts again, and she quickly reached up to take his hand again.

"Oh nonsense." She gently admonished him, pulling his hand down to hold against her cheek. "I know you are working hard, and I greatly appreciate it. I know you are doing what you can."

He turned his hand and brushed his phalanges through the fur on her cheek, something that made her soul flutter a bit inside her despite the circumstances. The action seemed to help him refocus his thoughts, and he went on in a low voice.

"yah... but if i can't crack it soon… i'm scared that…" He trailed off, just continuing to run his phalanges through her fur.

She could feel his soul give off a harsh wave of guilt and fear, but he managed to tame it back down again after taking a steadying breath.

"i'll show the report to alphys if i don't make any meaningful headway in the next few days, or if you have another one of those headaches during the day again... even if it means… i have to tell her some of the harder stuff..."

That took her by surprise. He had promised something to that effect earlier, but that didn't mean it wasn't still significant to hear that he would be willing to divulge any number of his terrible secrets in order to help her. Part of her even wanted to protest, knowing how hard it would be for him to have to talk about any of what he'd told her again. But given the increasing severity and uncertainty of her condition… she knew it may very well come to that.

She closed her paw around his hand again and briefly pressed her lips to his bony knuckles. In the past, it had been  _her_ who typically received such a gesture, during her days as royalty. Directing the gesture towards him held meaning to her. Both as a means to express her gratitude, and to show that she valued him just as much as many valued royalty.

He stiffened up in surprise at the gesture, but relaxed with an appreciative if a bit confused pulse from her soul a few moments later. She felt fair in guessing that it had left him rightly flustered yet again, but it succeeded to getting his full attention again as well.

"Very well… I trust you will do what you believe is best." She said, closing her heavy eyes for a few moments. "Just let me know if I can do anything to help."

The magic from Sans' soul communicated to her a swirling mix of emotions, some warring against others. But he seemed to accept her words and soon enough found the will to keep talking.

"yah… okay tori." He replied, voice hardly a murmur as he continued to grapple with his thoughts.

She was content to be quiet for a while then and allow him to do so. Just enjoying his close company and staring out into the darkness of the night, taking in the sights and sounds it had to offer. In the meantime, he went back to playing with her ears, though this time it felt like it was serving as as method for soothing himself as well.

It seemed to work well enough. For after another short period of silence, she could feel the emotions from his soul even out some, pushing his lighthearted joviality to the forefront once again.

"want me to tell you a story?" He asked with a restored grin."that always seems to work on my bro. gets him down for a solid 45 minutes at least."

She didn't laugh this time, but she did manage a soft smile and settled against him more snugly. Even if she still wasn't convinced it would get her to sleep, it was worth humoring him. And perhaps it would serve to make him more sleepy as well.

"That sounds lovely, my dear." She replied, looking up at him expectantly. "I would like that."

Wholly pleased by her approval, he straightened up and cleared his metaphorical throat before beginning.

"k, so this is my bro's favorite story. it's a pretty dramatic tale." He said, in an equally dramatic voice. "it's called..." He held up two phalanges where she could see them and wiggled them to simulate rabbit ears. "peekaboo with fluffy bunny."

Now she had to giggle. At least a little. She had heard fond mention of this story from Papyrus in the past.

"Sounds to be quite riveting just from that title alone." She quipped, playfully keeping a casual voice. "I can  _hare_ -dly wait to hear it."

He snorted at that, and graced her further with a few chuckles for her pun. She didn't feel it was up to her usual bad joke standards, but she was happy to hear he enjoyed it regardless. Once that bit of silliness was over, he launched into his story, still stroking her all the while.

"once upon a time there was a small, pink, fluffy bunny who lived with his papa bunny and brother bunny in a big hollow tree at the edge of the forest..."

From there, Sans wove a tale of fluffy bunny brothers searching for carrots, the appropriate times one should or should not prank ones siblings with surprise games of peekaboo, and the importance of familial love. It was a charming if childish story, but given that that was the actual intended audience she couldn't offer any complaint. And besides, Sans gave quite the wonderful performance. Doing voices and retelling the escapes of two fluffy pink bunny brothers in that perfectly unfitting monotone. It made the whole thing quite the delight to listen to.

Unfortunately, it made no headway in getting her to sleep. But it was a valiant effort on his part nonetheless. As he drew the story to a close, she found herself still just smiling up at him.

"A truly touching ending." She said, laying a paw over her chest. "Thank you for that, my dear."

He looked down at her, appearing disappointed but still managing to smile at her compliment nonetheless.

"heh, yah. The ending is always what gets my bro." He said, before letting out a soft sigh. "but... it's also usually the point he's ready to fall asleep."

She hummed thoughtfully in response, dropping her gaze downwards again.

"I am sorry, my dear." She replied quietly, thought managing to keep up a smile."I promise it is not for a lack of storytelling talent on your part though."

That elicited another short chuckle from him, but it was clear his own exhaustion was really starting to weigh him down. His sockets were droopy and he continually had to fight back the urge to yawn. Toriel wanted nothing more then to reverse their situation then. To sit up, scoop him into her own arms instead and soothe him to sleep. She knew she could do it, even if he wanted to continue to try and stay awake for her sake.

Settling on the idea, she made the move then to get up off his lap with the intention of playfully pulling him into her embrace before he could argue. But as she sat up fully, a sound made her pause and caused one of her long ears to twitch slightly. It was a voice. No doubt. She had heard someone speak, and it was coming from inside the house. Sans seemed to hear it too, as he also went still and quiet. She turned her gaze towards the door, wondering who could be up at such a late hour.

Thankfully, she didn't have to wonder long. After what sounded to be a few reluctant, approaching footsteps, the front door slowly creaked open, revealing a small human child who should have very much been asleep at that time. They stood there looking at Toriel and Sans nervously, hair all a mess, clothes equally unkempt and with bags under their eyes that betrayed the fact they had not been sleeping.

Toriel felt her soul seize up briefly with a mix of emotions, most prominent being guilt and deep worry. Since Sans had snapped her out of her stuporous state earlier, she could reflect on just how poor her choices that night had been. What a terrible mother she was, staggering outside in the dead of the night to drink her problems away, whilst her child may have needed her? Indeed, the slight fuzziness of the alcohol that flowed through her magic was no longer a relief, and only made her feel ill.

She resolved though, to feel bad about it all later. Right now, Frisk clearly needed her. That was all that mattered.

"Frisk?" She called quietly over to them, quickly getting up from the porch swing.

She swayed a bit, just once, knocking over the abandoned water bottle next to the swing. She tried to internally blame it on standing up too fast rather than the wine she'd had. But she quickly righted herself and hurried over to them. The creak of the swing and the soft footfalls of socks against the hardwood porch behind her told her that Sans was following as well.

"My child, what are you doing up so late?" She asked once she'd reached them, kneeling down in front of them and resting a paw on their shoulder.

Up close, it was much more obvious that they were distressed, and attempting to mask that fact. Their soft brown eyes carried a deep sort of dread and anxiety in them, mixed with something akin to anticipation. And worst of all, though it was faint, there were signs on their face that they may have been crying.

"I-I…" They attempted to speak the words aloud, coming out as a hoarse croak.

But rapidly, they lost the will and had to resort to signing again, the words coming slow.

(I went to your room, but you weren't there…) They signed cautiously, making the motions as clear as they could in the darkness.

Toriel felt the guilt grip her all over again, like claws against in her soul. She looked into her child's eyes apologetically, soul heavy with shame.

"I am so sorry dear. I was having trouble sleeping and I… I needed some air." She replied, the lie burning on her tongue. "Did you have another bad dream?"

Frisk hesitated in answering the question, looking downwards and fiddling nervously with their fabric of their pajama sleeves. The amount of nervousness she could feel from their powerful soul concerned her greatly. This didn't feel the same as the other times they had come to her after suffering a nightmare. They weren't coming to her for comfort as usual, instead acting as though she and Sans… were partially what they were afraid of. It made the claws in her soul dig in deeper as she continued to watch their words.

(Kind of... But it's not just that...) They signed at last, before briefly freezing up again.

Their fingers curled some with indecision, and Toriel gave their shoulder a delicate squeeze, hoping to encourage them to continue. They did, but only after taking in and letting out a deep breath. Only then did they meet her eyes with more of their signature determined look, pushing through their obvious nerves.

(Me and Flowey… we… we really need to tell you something.) They admitted, hands shaking somewhat as they did. (We wanted to wait until morning at least but… neither of us can really sleep because of it. And… We... should have told you a long time ago. We've just been really scared to...)

It was only then did the reality of what was happening here finally hit her like a wake up slap to the face. After all her waiting, all her struggling to keep her composure and feign normalcy, the very thing that had sent her out here ready to drown herself in alcohol was finally seeing the light of day. At long last, her children were finally going to reveal whatever terrible secret they had been hiding from her for so long.

She had been desperate for this moment to come, for it all to finally be out in the open so that the anticipation and dread she'd felt over it could finally end. She had no doubt whatever they shared would likely send her reeling mentally and emotionally like so much of Sans' secrets had. There was no way this was anything trivial, or something she already knew. Only Sans seemed to be aware of whatever it was, and even he didn't seem to know everything. That... honestly terrified her.

Would it… be too much? Could she really take anything  _that_ devastating again? Where her whole worldview would shift and shatter in an instant? And they had chosen such an inopportune time! It was the dead of night, a school night no less, where she had downed a good portion of alcohol that was still affecting her. On top of her exhaustion and the combined stress of everything else, it was setting up to be just about the worst time possible for this to finally be settled. Part of her soul couldn't help but remain chilled with fear.

But beyond all of that, she knew it had to happen. She had to know. Living in ignorance was tearing her apart and she couldn't go on the way she was any longer. Not if she wanted to avoid cracking and breaking down completely. Perhaps she could even dare to hope that knowing the truth would finally be enough to free her from a portion of her stress, at least enough that she wouldn't end up drinking alone on her porch at four in the morning again.

Maybe it would even get those accursed nightmares to finally stop…

She glanced over at Sans beside her as she felt him lay his hand on her shoulder. His eyelights were wavering from a mix of a kind of nervous, hesitant relief. But there was also a terrible dread there, a fear of how she was going to take whatever these great secrets were. She imagined he was quite the mirror for her emotions at that moment. If she was going to do this right, she couldn't allow her children to see how unsettled she truly was. She was still feigning some level of ignorance, was she not?

A whole conversation and understanding seemed to pass through their gaze in little more than a moment. Then she turned her attention back to Frisk with her best attempt at a reassuring smile.

"Alright, my child, of course." She said, glad when her voice came out even. "You know you can tell me anything, and I will listen."

She rose to her full height and gently took Frisk's hand. Her child seemed hesitant to meet her eyes, but they did not lose the determination that had led them out here after her.

"How about we go talk about this in your room?" She suggested, giving their small hand a gentle squeeze.

Frisk quickly nodded, but kept their gaze down on their heart pattern socks. The tension she could feel from them was palpable, and she was suddenly reminded of when she and Sans had their first talk beneath the willow tree. The fact that her child seemed nearly just as anxious over what they were to tell her made her soul seize up a bit with mixed emotion. But Frisk had accepted, and she had resolved to hearing what they had to say. There was no backing out now.

She looked over at Sans again, who was wearing an expression that was hard to read. His eyelights were dim and small, sweat ran down his skull and he seemed rather stiff. He was looking at Frisk intently as well, but her child would not meet his eyes. It was only then that Toriel realized that it might not only be  _her_ gaze that Frisk was avoiding. She could only imagine what both of them were thinking at that moment, what sort of shared knowledge drove both their reactions. But she wouldn't let either of their fears potentially stop this from finally happening.

"Alright, I will see you later then, Sans." She said, managing to gain his attention again. "Goodnight love."

The endearing words pulled him from his trance a bit, and his own eyelights darted to the floor briefly as his cheekbones took on a faint blue hue once again. To think, they had been sharing such intimacy just minutes ago, only for this to all suddenly come to a head when they least expected it. It was almost laughable, as was perhaps only fitting for them. Still, he held her gaze with a more heavy expression for a strained moment before returning her words.

"yah… okay." He said, rubbing the back of his neck in a show of restrained anxiety. "night tori, and uh… you too kiddo…"

Frisk did look at him then, their soft brown eyes full of those same swirling mixed emotions. Like a great volume of water gathering behind a dam, building towards the eventual, inevitable moment where everything burst out at once. They swallowed, squeezing Toriel's hand tighter before nodding and offering Sans a shy sort of wave.

She took the initiative then to begin guiding Frisk towards the door, not wanting any of them to have to endure any further strained anticipation that could rob them of their nerve to do this. Once her back was turned though, she could feel Sans looking at her the whole time. His gaze seem to bore into her soul, even from behind.

She had little doubt that he'd be snooping in on hers and her children's conversation in his usual fashion, and though it vexed her, she knew there was little she could say or do to stop him. Not without giving everything away right before the most vital moment. Whether or not that was for the best in the end, she couldn't be sure.

It mattered not. Nothing else mattered right then except finally hearing what it was Frisk and Flowey had been hiding from her… To hear the explanation behind Flowey's apparent great secret surrounding his identity, to hear Frisk's own account of the Resets they were behind, if they dared to share it. And… perhaps most pressing to her simply due to her hearing its voice… to hear an explanation of just  _what_ was sharing her child's body and soul.

She and Frisk stepped inside, with Toriel initially patiently leading her child by the hand so very much like she had that first day she'd met them. But after a few steps, Frisk's determination seem to build, and they quickend their pace so they were the one guiding  _her_ instead. She had to commend their bravery, knowing that whatever she was about to hear was something they had kept hidden for so long for a good reason.

They left Sans outside, but even when the door shut behind her, she still felt his gaze on her. In that way that only seemed to make sense coming from him. That didn't help her nerves, or the growing icy feelings of trepidation swirling about her soul. But she dared not to dwell on it. In a way, she was glad for the alcohol that still buzzed through her system. Perhaps without it, this whole situation would be far more overwhelming. It gave her just enough of a buffer to keep her steadfast on seeing it through. She only hoped it wouldn't cause any issues alongside that.

Once they reached the hallway's entrance, Frisk suddenly stopped just outside it. There was a beat where she was about to push through her dread in order to ask them what was wrong, but then they turned and abruptly threw their small arms around as much as they could of her in a hug.

She blinked, momentarily stunned. She'd been so focused on just getting to the room to hear what Frisk had to say whilst controlling her own emotions that the sudden hug came as a shock. Slowly though, she leaned down to return the embrace, holding their small body close to her. There were no tears or shivering, they simply clung to her tightly. Oddly, it felt as though they were trying to comfort her as much as they were asking to be comforted.

In a way, it did help her feel a little better, and see the bigger picture in all this, especially regarding the fact that her love for her children would endure no matter what she was about to hear. She had made the mistake of turning her back on her loved ones in the past, and no matter how she or any other sought to justify that decision, she was determined not to let it happen ever again. But receiving this hug now… why did it feel so much like a hug of farewell? Did they fear for some reason that this would be the last one they'd receive from her?

Just for that painful sentiment, she held them a little tighter, and let the hug last a few moments more. Their powerful soul thrummed against her, stirred up with all those conflicting, strained emotions.

"It will be alright, my child." She soothed softly, unable to keep her voice from shaking slightly. "Whatever you must tell me, I promise, we will find some way to make it all okay."

They weren't the best words of comfort she could offer, vague and perhaps irresponsible as they were. But they were all she could manage at the moment through the torment in her soul. It was even possible that they had somehow given something away on her end. But the feelings she felt most strongly from Frisk's soul in response were those of understanding and love. If they did know, or suspect, they didn't react with any negativity towards that fact. She supposed she wouldn't know for sure how much they had seen through her until they actually began to talk about this.

Thankfully, Frisk seemed to also recognize that they couldn't keep stalling and gently pulled away. They shared another look, too heavy and full of too many emotions to possibly parse through. Then her child began to lead her again, stepping into the hallway after taking a deep, steadying breath.

As they walked down the suddenly painfully long hall to her children's room, she felt flickers of that damned headache flaring up again. But she grit her teeth and pressed on, blaming it on the alcohol. She couldn't stop now, no matter the reason.

All this deception, all these secrets, all these lies. It would all end tonight. It had to.


	32. What Once Was Lost

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ((Another big one I've been eager to write for a long time... not much else to say without spoilers :3c Hope you enjoy! Getting pretty close to the end here.)) 
> 
> ((Warnings for this chapter: self harm mention, lots of talk of death and violence))

The sound of the door to her children's bedroom closing behind her seemed impossibly loud in the moment, and it echoed through her soul. Though Toriel knew she would not turn back or look to escape from the looming discussion ahead, she still felt the stress associated with being trapped, only deepening her dread. It took great resolve to hold her posture and composure, but she managed it regardless. Facing her children in a calm, understanding manner throughout all this was imperative to it going well.

The less she overreacted, the more information she likely would get to hear. She'd learned her lesson when listening to Sans share his own secrets, she wasn't going to make the same mistakes and inadvertently hurt them through her reactions the same way she had hurt him. Or at least… more realistically… she'd do her best to minimize that as much as possible. She had been through situations and conversations like this before and come out of it in the end. This would be no different. She could do this. She  _had_  to do this.

She subconsciously grasped at the now fainter buzz of alcohol still in her system, clinging to its numbing effects and trying in vain to amplify it as much as possible. It was hard to say in that moment if she wished she was more or less inebriated to face this.

 _Stars above, give me your strength..._ She offered up in silent prayer as she began to formulate what she should say to start all this.

It was a task that would have been much easier had whispers of that damn headache not been throbbing within her head. It was an extra annoyance she doubted would recede with all the stress she was currently enduring and would surely endure going forward with this… but perhaps it would at least serve as a reminder to try and stay as calm as possible, not matter what was said.

From their place on Frisk's bed, her children were staring up at her. Beady black and soft brown, perhaps trending towards scarlet in the low light, met her own ruby red eyes with equal parts fear and resolve. Emotions that were much the same as her own. On top of that, she could all but feel Sans' presence beyond the door behind her, anxiously waiting as well. She couldn't keep hesitating.

She drew in and released a deep breath through her nostrils and looked at her children with less intense dread clawing at her insides. Then she made herself be the one to break the silence.

"My children, you have something you wish to tell me, do you not?" She asked, though it came off as more of a statement. "Please, do not be afraid to share it with me. No matter what it is, I will listen and make every effort to understand."

She made slow deliberate eye contact with them both, then slowly knelt down in front of the bed to be closer to their eye level.

"And I promise, nothing you could tell me could make me stop loving you. I made the mistake in my past of turning away from a loved one in a time of great emotional damage. I will not allow myself to do that again. You have my word on that."

Already speaking those words aloud wished to bring tears to her eyes, not helped with the nagging, dull pain of her headache. But she found composure again quickly without dropping her gaze from theirs. Frisk and Flowey both clearly felt the full weight of the words, but reacted to it differently. Frisk looked just about as close to tears from mixed emotion as she was, but Flowey mostly just looked taken aback, beyond the clear dread that had been there in his expression the whole time.

He blinked, slowly, then turned to share a long look with Frisk. The silence from them hung for a few moments, before something in Frisk's gaze caused the flower monster to sigh, perhaps releasing the breath he'd been holding.

"Want... to start like we planned?" Flowey asked in a somewhat distant voice, though his body was rather stiff with nerves.

Frisk nodded grimly and finally looked up at Toriel again. Their hands were shaky as they slowly began to sign to her.

(Mom… do you know about... Resets?) They asked, fingers threatening to lock up from obvious stress.

There would be little easing into this it seemed. Seeing them form that word openly reignited those buried feelings of desperate denial that still longed for some excuse to see the light of day again. But just as hearing them speak that word days ago had banished the last of her doubt, seeing them sign it right there in front of her was the final nail in the coffin.

Her soul seized up inside her, but she held strong and didn't allow herself to be too affected. This was something she expected, nothing new. That part was surely coming, and she was sure she needed to save the majority of her resolve for that moment. But she did at least allow the full weight of all the stress that hiding her knowledge of the Resets had inflicted upon her show in her crimson eyes.

There was no need to hide it anymore. They knew just as she had suspected they did. This would be the first lie to end, and she was happy to be the one to start the process. Even if the subject at hand could hardly make her less so.

"Yes my child… I do." She said solemnly, not faltering even when Frisk flinched a bit in response. "Sans told me of them. The burden of that knowledge was weighing him down and affecting him deeply enough that it finally became too much for him. Especially as he became more… attached to us all, our freedom, this life we have all built for ourselves. It was all enough to chip away at his apathy. But with that… it also brought the full force of all that pain and fear he'd been shielding himself from."

Her eyes grew heavy and drifted downward, remembering how deeply affected Sans had been during those first days. And she was again struck with how long ago those occurrences already seemed. Much like the rapid events that unfolded when Frisk fell into the Underground, it seemed these past few weeks were also set to be a time of swift, drastic change. She could only hope that the eventual result would be the same, their lives, even their world, changed for the better.

"I recognized his silent suffering, and eased him into telling me of the many things he has endured throughout his years…" She went on, curling her claws against her knee. "Far too many things…"

She forced herself to look back at her children, a mixture of sternness and sorrow pushing itself onto her expression.

"Including… the Resets… and the role that you two played in them."

Again, Frisk reacted physically to her words as though she had struck them, and she could see a deep fear shining in their eyes. It reminded her of the expression they wore when she, in her desperation, had turned her flames towards them in a final attempt to keep them within the Ruins. At least… the one they wore during this timeline… or had they been more stoic in this one? Already knowing exactly how to talk her down…

Was the image she was recalling from the true first time they'd met? She couldn't be sure, and the increasing pain from her headache encouraged her not to dwell on it further. Besides, she never wanted to inspire that kind of fear in her child's eyes ever again. Knowing she could be at all reminding them of whatever dire circumstances they had originally come from before climbing Mt. Ebott was too painful to bear, even in a case as serious as this…

Flowey, in stark contrast, and as expected, hardly offered a reaction at all. He looked more annoyed and impatient than anything else, curling his vines fitfully against the rim of his pot. This was clearly not what he was so anxious to be discussing, and only served for him as yet another delay in getting to the important stuff. But she and he likely both recognized that this was still important, and needed to be addressed before they moved forward.

"It was pretty freaking obvious that you knew." He stated with a roll of his beady eyes, settling his cheek against a curled vine. "Seriously Mom, don't quit your day job to be an actor any time soon. I'm surprised Frisk took so long to see through your charade."

Frisk didn't give a response to that, just looked down at their socks and let the shadow of their hair cover their eyes. They remained that way, utterly stiff, as Flowey continued.

"Though I'm more surprised you didn't have a breakdown of your own after learning the truth." He noted, tilting his head more to the side. "Most people don't take the idea of their entire world being a pointless game that can be Reset at any moment all that well. I would know."

Toriel swallowed hard against a sudden tightness in her throat, remembering the devastating emotions and shock she'd endured upon hearing about the Resets for the first time. Even now, she could feel the lingering traces of their effects threatening to rip at her psyche if she dared think too hard about their implications. Again, the swelling of the summoned up from her headache kept her thoughts from drifting.

"It… was certainly not easy to hear… nor accept." She admitted, shutting her eyes briefly. "But I knew it to be the truth even whilst gripped by denial, no matter how much I wish it was not so."

Flowey made a soft scoffing noise in response, but it seemed half hearted in his case. She suspected there were biting words he wanted to direct her way. But she and him had already had their turbulent back and forth on the issue, and it seemed he was not willing to try and dredge up the same arguments he had already put forth before.

Frisk though…

The momentary silence was broken but a soft hitching of breath from the human child, who was losing their fight against their own swelling emotions. A few tears escaped from their eyes, falling and creating dark spots in the fabric of their pajama pants. The sight caused both Toriel and Flowey's attention to lock on to them, which only seemed to break their resolve more.

"I'm s-s-sorry…" They croaked out in their weak, quavering voice. "I'm s-so sorry M-mom…"

It was clearly all they could think to say. Toriel understood that all too well. There were a million things they were likely apologizing for, timelines and timelines of unspeakable sins and misdeeds lost to the power of the Resets, but not forgotten. Not by them, not by Flowey and not by the skeleton no doubt listening in outside the room. Their rare, precious voice was so heavy with remorse and self revulsion that her soul could hardly bear it. As though those words could actually cause it physical damage. They sounded so broken and lost, like a far,  _far_ older soul than just that of a child.

They sounded like Sans had… and likely, how she had as well.

Sans' words came back to her then as she watched them shudder, cover their face with their hands and fight back the sobs that wished to escape them.

_"f-frisk is not a bad kid. they did some bad things, some really, really bad things. but they are just a kid tori, n-no kid should ever be given the kind of power they have. they can't be expected to always make the right choices, no matter how good-natured they are. that kind of power is corrupting, it makes them feel like nothing they do h-has real consequences. that detachment mixed with curiosity is like a poison."_

_"they regret all the bad shit they did, they've told me so a million times, bawling their eyes out and promising me they'd never r-reset again. all that. they really do love us, and knew the best way to free everyone by the end of it all. they knew the path to the best outcome."_

None of those words were truly anything she needed to be reminded of, but seeing the reality of what he had been talking about unfolding there in front of her still tore further at her soul. Similar scenarios to this had occurred between just Sans and Frisk in the past, only when emotions were far more volatile, judging by his description.

It made sense, seeing as Sans was previously the only one who could have possibly held them accountable for what they had done. But now, they were finally spilling their immense guilt to their mother and she was determined to handle it as best she could. Even when it felt like her soul was going to shatter.  _And that damn headache wouldn't cease its pounding._

She moved forward and wrapped Frisk in her arms even before any potential answer left her, holding them tight. It hurt her more to feel just how shocked they were by that, as if they truly not expecting her to want anything to do with them once they'd admitted to their grave transgressions. All her earlier assurances had fallen away for them it seemed, and due to the enormity of just  _what_  they had done, she couldn't fully blame them.

But she held them to her anyway, feeling the despairing emotions from their powerful soul. She was their mother, and it was her job to bear the burden of what they had done right along with them, as well as firmly guide them down the right path. There was a brief flicker of that fear that had consumed her and Sans early on then, the fear that had triggered Sans' breakdown and led Toriel to have to frantictly keep up a lie for as long as she had. The fear Frisk would Reset in response to knowing Toriel of the Resets.

But it was also in that moment that she somehow became convinced that she had nothing to fear in that regard. Something she couldn't quite ascertain, but felt strongly from their soul. Frisk was devastated, but still determined. And that Determination was directed only towards the situation at hand, not at any attempts to flee from what they had done.

And as if to prove it further, they suddenly threw their arms around Toriel in return, holding on to her as much as their short arms could reach. It was only then did she finally speak her reply, holding her child protectively tight all the while.

"I know, my child." She soothed softly, glad when the words came out even and strong. "I know you are."

She just held them like that for a moment. And as she did, Sans' words continued to echo in her mind. Especially the final thing he had said regarding his view of Frisk's actions.

_"even the bad things they did had some level of u-understandable intent. they wanted to know everything there was to know about our world… in order to help that… that flower…"_

Those words in particular led her to look over at Flowey, who was simply watching the scene between her and Frisk with the same mix of impatience and unease. She and the flower monster made brief eye contact and he shied a bit from her gaze, though the emotion driving that wasn't fully clear. There were so many things about what Sans had said that she could theorize on, try and figure out, but she had to handle things with Frisk first. And ideally… hopefully… they would soon reveal to her the truth that would make that previous statement from Sans finally make sense.

She focused her attention back to Frisk, lightly resting her cheek against the top of their head.

"Sans told me of your devotion to keep your promise to him not to Reset ever again." She continued, in a more emotional tone. "I know you will hold true to that promise. That does not make what you and Flowey did okay by any means, nor does it absolve either of you of your actions, but it is a commitment towards a better path that  _you_  chose sweetheart. I know of the power you hold over us all, you could have so easily chosen not to care or take responsibility… but you did. That shows to me that the good in your soul, the good sort of love you have gained... is the part that prevails… the part that is the  _true_  you."

She paused then, letting the statement sink in for her miserable child. It did not cease the outpouring of tremendously guilty emotions from their soul, but it did seem to dull it somewhat. Enough to allow some warmth to ease its way back in. Flowey made an irritated sound under his breath, clearly fed up, but Toriel ignored him for the moment. She continued lightly stroking Frisk's back, hoping to calm their soft weeping as she went on.

"None of us here are free from having made terrible mistakes, my child." She murmured, more quietly. "We all have our own immense guilt to carry with us. The Underground was a place that bred desperation and corrupted all who were trapped there in some way. We must find it in ourselves to move on and leave the darkness of the mountain behind us. I know we can all heal and grow to be better people here through our freedom on the surface… For even humans and monsters who have made such grave mistakes as we have deserve mercy. And it was you, Frisk, who helped prove that to me."

That seemed to be enough to get their quiet sobs to stop, if only for the task of absorbing what she had said. Their soul's anguish further dissipated too, especially that which had been born from fear of her reaction to all this. They both knew there were no words or apologies that could ever make any of this okay, or erase the horrible things Frisk had done. But Toriel's expression of devotion still was clearly incredibly meaningful for her child to hear. And they understood the only thing that could be said in order to return that devotion to her, and all the other monsters they had grown to love.

"I w-won't Reset again." They rasped out, putting as much strength into their frail voice as they could manage. "I pr-promise Mom. I won't d-do it ever again."

The words came out strained and shaky. And they summoned more tearful hiccups from the child in her arms. But the sincerity behind them couldn't be missed. Toriel held them all the tighter, as though that would further ensure her next statement would sink in.

"I believe you sweetheart. I truly do." She assured them, with all the conviction she could offer.

There was a brief silence after those words left her, and the reaction she could feel from Frisk's soul told her that they had accepted what was said. It could not take the guilt from them, but it was the first step in any of this ever being worked through. The first step for her and her children to develop a relationship based on honesty and truth rather than endless circles of deception. And as much as her soul ached from the enormity of it all, for that, she was deeply grateful.

Even through the persistent pain in her head, she felt something like a weight lifted from her soul and all at once the air suddenly felt a little clearer. Though a noticeable tension still remained. This wasn't over yet.

"Sheesh Frisk, if you get all worked up now we are never going to get through this."

Flowey's harsh voice spoke up, as if mirroring her internal sentiment. He was looking at the sight of them with poorly masked disdain, still clearly restless with impatience. She gave the flower monster a stern look for his insensitivity, but when Frisk gently pushed away from her, she let them go. They sat back on the bed and wiped their eyes on their pajama sleeve before regaining their usual determined neutral expression.

(He's right.) They signed, hands only trembling noticeably for a moment more. (I'll be okay now… We really need to talk about…)

They couldn't seem to make themself form that last word, whatever it may be. Though she did notice them glance in Flowey's direction, catching his eye again. But Toriel responded with a small shake of her head, causing them both to give her their attention again. She wanted nothing more to just hear what they had been hiding from her and be done with it, but she knew she had to press a little more. There were things that she had to know in order to even begin to reconcile all this within herself.

"I understand there is more you wish to tell me, and I will be more than happy to listen." She assured them, before her expression hardened by degrees. "But first… I must ask you Frisk…"

She paused a moment to take a deep breath and try to fight back both the still insistent headache and the existential dread that came with what she was about to ask. Her previous experiences that she now had dealing with the subject helped it not seem like an impossible concept to face, but there was no removing the dread and despair it inspired entirely.

"I know at least the basic idea of why Flowey did what he did when he was in control." She said once she could manage it, casting a brief look in the flower monster's direction before turning her gaze back to Frisk. "But… when you realized what you were capable of doing... what drove you to… continue to Reset the way you did? To… step onto darker paths with your abilities?"

There was hardly a more harrowing question to ask, but it had to be done. They had to drain as much poison from this shared figurative wound as possible, lest it continue to fester and bring them all further silent anguish. Sans had told her his version of events, but she wanted to hear Frisk explain it themself. To hear how they viewed their abhorrent actions in those accursed timelines past.

As expected, Frisk stiffened and went pale as Toriel spoke, curling their hands into fists against their legs. She didn't even hear them breathe for a few moments, as they stared down at their hands and failed to keep them from shaking. It was past her understanding to guess what they must have been thinking, what images were flashing through their mind. Though she knew some of them must have aligned with what memories she had recovered through her turbulent dreams.

As if on cue, her cheek and lower stomach began to burn lightly with a familiar phantom pain, aching in a cruel sort of symphony with the throbbing in her head. She resisted the urge to touch the areas in question and just waited for Frisk's answer. The tension between the three of them reached a truly painful level before Frisk finally found it in themself to lift their hands and reply.

(It was… a lot of things.) They managed, the motions stiff and shaky. (Once you… stop choosing mercy... that first increase of LOVE… it does… bad things to your soul. Things that make you feel numb, like nothing you do actually matters… like everything and everyone around you aren't even real...)

Their ability to sign out these things seemed to get easier for them as they went on. There was no shortage of regret and misery behind the words, but Toriel could tell that this was a kind of release for them as well. They were lancing the wound and letting the poison finally flow away. It clearly hurt terribly, but was also a relief. One that was clearly a long time coming.

Now that they had started, she could tell part of them wanted to go into a full on tangest on the subject. One that potentially could spill everything and everything about their mindset back then. But another harsh look from Flowey and their own resolve towards the bigger situation at hand got them to refocus.

(I could try and explain for a long time… but like you said… nothing can justify my actions then.) They went on, biting their lip hard for a few moments. (But also… the original thought that led me to eventually become trapped in that addictive cycle of Resetting... It... it involves the important thing we want to tell you.)

That made Toriel perk up in surprise. In hindsight that was a little foolish, seeing as she should have guessed that this great secret was tied to the Resets one way or another. But her mind couldn't find any clear logical connections from what was said. She nodded and listened on, pressing her claws harder against her knees.

(There were some monsters I couldn't save that first time I achieved the best ending…) Frisk continued, eyes reflecting a deep sorrow. (And I just… couldn't help but go back and try again, try to find a way that I had missed that would let me save them. I felt like I  _had_ to! But…. no matter what I did to see how things would change… I never got any closer. I never learned enough to change that outcome. No matter what I did… there wasn't a timeline where I could save them...)

Toriel blinked slowly, trying to take in the tremendous weight of emotion in her child's words. Beneath the defeat in their tone, there was also hints of the desperation and despair that had driven them to the point of no return. She had heard the phrase "the road to hell is paved with good intentions" in the past, and never before did it ever seem to hold so true as it did in Frisk's case.

She could understand at least the basis of that idea. Not justify by any means… but understand. Understand how much it would torment Frisk to know they had failed to save some of the monsters they had grown to feel responsible for. Toriel could now see why Sans had described Frisk's actions the way he had. And hearing it from them made the implications all the more harrowing.

(I just… wanted to create a perfect happy ending for  _everyone.)_  They signed, hands trembling briefly once more as they formed the words. (But it… just wasn't possible. This is the happiest ending we can achieve, it took me way too long to accept that.)

After those words left them, they lowered their hands to their lap and hung their head again. The motion somehow made them look so small, so powerless, so unlike the determined human with near godly powers that they truly were. Toriel could only stare at them for a few moments, trying to process any amount of what was said through the pain and haziness in her head. Eventually she swallowed hard and managed to find her voice again.

"I see…" She murmured simply, tone low and deflated.

What else was there to say? Well, truthfully there were perhaps endless things. More questions and details that could continue the conversation indefinitely. But she got the feeling that she would have to settle for what she had managed to get out of them today. At least in regards to the Resets. As for what lied ahead in the conversation though…

She found herself looking over at Flowey, driven again by Sans' words ringing in her head. He had said Frisk had been driven to explore all the optional timelines, even the darkest, because of a desire to help "that flower" Flowey. There was not doubt that he was at least one of those Frisk felt as though they couldn't save. But… he was right here wasn't he? Not dead or trapped Underground like the remains of Sans' father and the others caught up in the accident with the Core. She just couldn't understand it… what did Frisk mean by…they couldn't  _Save_ him _?_

Her headache flared up anew and she had to set her jaw a bit against the wave of pain. That and her staring seemed to cause Flowey to lose the last of his patience. When Frisk in front of them began to move their hands to sign again, he flicked out a vine and gripped their wrist with it in order to stop them.

"Enough beating around the bush." He snapped, though his tone lacked its usual bite. "I'm tired of waiting, I want to get this over with."

His words were almost a plea in a way, rather than an order. And that sentiment was reflected in his beady black eyes. They were harsh but still shone with emotions that were oh so rare to see from him. But still, Toriel couldn't allow such behavior to go unacknowledged, even in a situation like this.

"Flowey, let them speak." She admonished him gently. "This is important too."

But Frisk smiled weakly and shook their head, suddenly regaining some energy it seemed. Along with that odd mix of intense excitement and deep dread that confused her so deeply as to what they could possibly be about to tell her.

(No Mom, it's fine…) They signed. (Flowey is right, I can tell you everything later. However much you want to know. But this is more important right now)

They gave Flowey's vine a reassuring pat, and the flower monster released them and pulled the vine back into his pot with a stiff nod. There was a subtle shift of focus between her children then, from Frisk to Flowey. It allowed the human child to at least find some reprieve from all the heavy scrutiny, while the monster child… he was quickly displaying just how worried, even fearful he felt for what was to come. Enough so that the flower monster shivered lightly on his stem, though he was doing all he could to mask it with his sour expression. The only thing that dominated her mind beyond the headache, was the question of  _why?_

Toriel looked at him with concern as he continued to faintly tremble, but relented after a few moments with a heavy sigh. This was it. There was no going back from this. She had to know. She had to get answers for all of these pieces that as of yet still refused to form any sort of clear picture. Even if she was now all too certain that what was coming would leave her reeling mentally all over again.

"Alright then…" She replied quietly, subconsciously turning a bit to better face Flowey.

It was clear Flowey himself was to be the one to share what they had been hiding. Likely for the best, seeing as it appeared it surrounded him most directly. Apart from that terrifying voice she'd heard from Frisk at least… which she still hoped would be addressed sooner rather than later with how it continued to plague her mind. But knowing just what the big, overwhelming secret was regarding Flowey was just as important and she gave him her full attention.

All the while, she fought back against the near choking dread as much as possible. It wanted so badly to overwhelm her even before anything was said, but she couldn't allow that. Even if it took nearly all her willpower to stay put and listen, she would. Her paws shook, but the rest of her remained rigid as she waited for her child to speak.

Flowey too seemed all too consumed by nerves and hesitation, but it was clear the urge to be done with this was even more consuming. He let out a strained sigh and then straightened up on his stem to better face her.

"Prepare yourself, because you're not going to like this first part." He warned, tone low.

Toriel just nodded, communicating she had expected as much. Flowey bit his lip for another moment with indecision, eyes narrowing in thought. But he pushed on with what needed to be said rather quickly. Quicker than Toriel expected,

"I don't think I need to remind you about your son Asriel that was killed by humans a long time ago, right?" He asked, expression darkening.

The question made her flinch despite herself. She… wasn't sure what she had been expecting, but it certainly wasn't  _that_. But it wasn't like this was the first time someone had brought up the death of her children out of the blue. It certainly didn't help that their stories were such common knowledge.

"You… certainly do not." She replied, a trace of anger and pain leaking into her tone.

Flowey nodded and continued on, forcing the words out as though they would stick to his mouth otherwise.

"He absorbed the soul of your other, adopted, kid Chara after they died of self induced buttercup poisoning." He went on, as if that was something she was unaware of. "And together in their shared form, the two crossed the barrier only to be brutally killed by a village of humans nearby when they assumed the worst case scenario. After becoming gravely wounded, they staggered back home, only for their shared form to collapse into dust in the throne room."

Toriel grit her teeth a bit against a surge of fiery emotion that welled up from her soul in response to his words, not at all seeing what this was supposed to be accomplishing. And it was already starting to rob her of her composure.

"Yes Flowey… I am well aware of how my children perished." She all but growled despite herself, voice low and dark. "I do not see the point in-"

"I'm getting to that, promise." He cut her off, cowering backwards a bit from the intensity of her gaze.

His nerves seem to briefly rob him of his training of thought, and his eyes darted back and forth momentarily as he raced to reclaim it.

"Where was I…? Oh right, dust. The dust from the shared form spread over the throne room gardens… and…"

He paused, and Toriel noticed Frisk tense in anticipation beside the flower monster. She just waited, still struggling to restrain her spurred emotions and utterly lost as to what Flowey could possibly be getting at.

"Well... something… happened to that dust. Specifically the dust containing some shred of magical remnants of Asriel. Some of it uh… ended up on a flower. The first golden flower that grew before all the others. A flower that was eventually used in an… experiment."

She blinked, feeling her eyes widen. Something was starting to connect within her mind, something about the monster in front of her and the story being told, but it wasn't registering through everything else. But she had barely a moment to ponder anything concrete regarding these alleged experiments involving her son's remains and flowers could be before Flowey continued.

"So uh… Asriel. Well he…" He trailed off again for a moment, then sighed bitterly once more and seemed to decide to change tactics. "No...  _I_ … was brought back through that experiment..."

As he said those words, his face began to morph like it so often did when he intended to mock those whose visages he'd imitate. But this time, he was forming the face of someone he shouldn't know, someone he  _certainly_  shouldn't be able to reflect down to the most minute detail.

A short muzzle had emerged on his face, marked with small fangs and a flat mammalian nose. His entire center facial structure had gained a soft, furry appearance, down to a fuzzy tuft on his forehead. And most striking of all were a pair of brilliant green eyes, so familiar and dear to her that the sight of them was nearly too much for her soul to bear. He had even replicated the tiny detail of one of the fangs having an utterly overlookable, minuscule chip in the side. So small that one would truly have to be looking to spot it. Something no one besides her and Asgore should  _ever_  be able to remember.

There was no mistaking it. She was looking at the face of her long dead son, framed and encircled by golden petals like some kind of floral halo.

Despite her attempts to prepare herself for what the flower monster had intended to tell her, there was truly nothing that could of prepared her for  _this_. She stared into those precious, beloved eyes and felt a horror and rage and pain so deep that it rendered her mind both frozen and burning white hot with emotion at the same time. So much so that the actual message he'd been meaning to deliver was all but lost as she was fully consumed by the sight before her. Her eyes had grown wide as dinner plates and her mouth fell open, trying in vain to form some semblance of words that wouldn't,  _couldn't_ come in that moment.

Nonetheless, Flowey continued speaking. And as he did, she was struck another devastating blow when it was not the flower monster's usual harsh, high pitched tone that met her ears, but the soft, youthful voice that matched the face he was presenting. And just like his visual imitation, the imitation of her son's voice was a truly perfect match. The only discrepancy being that he sounded far more listless and without emotion than she had ever heard from the usually warm and happy child.

"The experiment back then… it brought me back Mom…" He said, looking up at her with those damned, blessed eyes. "But it was without my soul… and I was stuck as a flower."

He glanced down bitterly at the stem that supported his mismatched face for a moment before meeting her eyes again, still seemingly unmoved by her anguished reaction.

"It all happened through some magical scientific experimentation and an injection of Determination." He explained, every word in that sweet voice she cherished, and every one tearing at her soul. "You can ask Alphys more about that, it's all her fault it happened. But I guess the details can uh… wait."

Then and only then, did he seem to grasp the severity of how Toriel was taking the situation. He gulped and shrank back slightly, no doubt feeling the intense waves of emotion coming from her soul. Now that the initial shock had had a moment to process, the deeply burning anger that Flowey would do something like this to intentionally distress her and twist at her emotions overwhelmed all other thoughts and feelings. The idea that her children had potentially both set out to pull such a truly insidious excuse of a prank…

Had she been in a better state of mind she would have realized just how unlikely that would be in Frisk's case at least, but she was far from in a good state of mind at that moment.

She gritted her teeth against a snarl and felt flames burn intensely inside her, utterly shaken from her intended mission with all this. She had to fight the magic flaring up from her soul and seeking passage to become fiery attacks. Her red eyes seemed to burn with that same intensity, yet darken dangerous all the same. Both of her children looked at her then with fear in their eyes, but neither fled or dropped the act even then.

She grasped at the frail remains of her self control and finally managed to speak, voice low, and shaking slightly from barely repressed emotion.

"Flowey… I demand you to stop this right this moment. That is  _not_ funny." She ordered, with all the authority of a former Queen and all the heartache of a grieving mother. "The fact you would seek to so callously torment me by imitating his face and voice like that…"

Flowey flinched somewhat, and the expression of frustration and hurt passed over the imitated face of her child, only adding to her chaotic emotions. And the awful pain in her head seemed to increase right along with it. Not at all helping the already dismaying situation.

"Mom… i'm  _not_  lying." Flowey retorted, an edge of pleading to his tone, and still in her son's voice. "I've… been here this whole time. As Flowey. I'm not who you remember me to be, but I  _am_  technically what remains of your son. I… I don't like acknowledging it... but I  _am_  Asriel… or at least what's left of him."

Every word from him was like a malicious blow to her soul, painful enough that she wouldn't be surprised if they were actually chipping away at her HP. She couldn't believe Flowey would do something like this, would go to such lengths to hurt her. This somehow felt worse than those timelines she'd relived where he'd killed her and toyed with her. This was malice on a whole other level, and she just couldn't understand it.

She'd held her son's ravaged form as he died, saw the light leave his eyes and cradled pawfuls of his dust as he crumbled away to nothing in her arms. Her son was  _dead_ , along with his human sibling who'd she'd buried with her own two paws. Now Flowey, a monster she had conceded to care for despite all his past actions, was invoking his image and trying to spin a story that could only seek to cause her renewed suffering. And Frisk had played along with it, willing to subject her to this.

This wasn't like what happened when Sans had told her of the Resets and timelines. This was beyond personal. Even with her earlier vows, there was no part of her that could even begin to consider Flowey's tale as anything else but utterly heartless lies beneath all the fiery agony burning within her.

She hadn't felt so betrayed and anguished since the day Asgore had declared his plans of genocide.

" _STOP IT!"_  She all but screamed at him, cutting him off as her self control finally snapped and fell away.

She was suddenly on her feet, claws out, fangs bared, and flames curling out uncontrollably from the corner of her jaws. Flowey recoiled, and twisted her son's features into something truly fearful. But even still, he wouldn't drop the act. Her outcry had rendered the whole room silent again, the only sound being her uneven, heavy breathing. Though her rational thoughts had mostly failed her at that point, some modicum of awareness of the situation did return to her and she was able to at least swallow back the flames flaring up from her throat.

"Flowey I told you to stop this and I  _meant it!"_ She snarled, unable to keep the true force of her rage and pain from her voice. "You will cease this behavior at once! I will not stand here and listen to you mock my deceased son like this! How could you two be so cruel as to-"

This time, it was her who was cut off, as she felt a gentle tug on her sleeve. With a frustrated growl that rumbled deep in her throat, she whipped her head around to glare down at the child responsible. In her eyes during that terrible moment, they were an accomplice in all this, and just as deserving of bearing witness to her intense anger. But before she had even processed the fact that she was looking into a pair of bright, familiar, scarlet eyes rather than the usual soft brown, her child said something that reduced her back to shellshock within a moment.

"Mom… it really is him." Frisk said, though once again, it was layered with that other chilling voice from before.

She stared down at them with wide eyes once again, as her mind pushed through the frantic emotion to begin the connecting of impossible dots. Her denial and anger continued to be the loudest voice in her head, but it could not drown out the realizations that her more rational side was making. Her child spoke on, double voice and all.

"It's both of us. We were brought back." They insisted, red eyes boring into her. "We've… been back for a long time."

Toriel couldn't move, or speak a reply. Her reasonings and explanations were rapidly failing her and crumbling away just like her children's combined form had all those years ago. But she still pushed back fiercely against the new reality that was taking shape in her mind and right in front of her, unable to accept it or even comprehend the idea of it.

"Please Mom… I know you recognize my voice… my eyes... I want you to say it." Her child openly begged her as they gripped her arm tight.

Tears gathered in those ruby red eyes, so very much like her own and yet still so very unique. Toriel could only continue to stare for a few intense moments, where she may have felt a million emotions at once. But once the moment passed, something within her soul smashed up against the walls of her agonized denial. It made her finally see clearly what she had known within herself to be true since the moment she had overheard that voice overlayed with Frisk's.

 _"... Char...a …?_ _"_  She croaked out, feeling her entire body go cold as she did so.

All at once, she found herself on her knees again, staring at her child as if seeing them for the first time in her life. Her mind was in a whirlwind, blood was roaring in her ears, but she had spoken the name aloud, and could not take it back.

Frisk… Chara… The child in front of her. They smiled a watery smile, and passed their sleeve over their eyes before speaking again. The relief and happiness they felt at her response poured off their soul enough that she could feel it. But the warmth and joy it contained could not penetrate her own soul's practically frozen state. She didn't know what to do, what to think. Nothing in her mind seemed to be working at all.

"Yeah… it's me." They confirmed yet again, tearing down her emotional state even further. "In my case, I was asleep for a long time… or something like that. But when Frisk fell down above where you buried me… I guess I… woke up. I think it was their Determination and something to do with both of us having the same soul color. But my spirit has been attached to them since then. I've been with them since their first Reset, sharing their body and soul. You could even say all our Resets were a... dual effort."

They smiled a sad smile at that, looking at her for a reaction. But their expression fell when they realized Toriel wasn't truly listening. Indeed, all that they had said had been heard but refused to be absorbed, accepted. This was... It just… she  _couldn't_ …

She covered her face with her paws, suddenly unable to look at them. It was as she did so that she became aware of how badly she was shaking. Her rage was gone, stolen by the chill instilled in her from hearing the voices of her long deceased children, and of seeing the cruel imitations of their faces. It was too much. It had hollowed her out emotionally leaving only despair and desperation in its wake.

"Children s-stop…  _please_ …" She begged them, feeling her claws dig into her forehead. "This heartless ch-charade has... It has gone t-too far."

She heard something of an exasperated groan from Flowey, followed by a mutter of something akin to "I told you this would happen." Still in her dear Asriel's voice. Char-Fri- whoever stood before her ignored him though, and Toriel felt them gently try and pull her paws down away from her face.

"Mom, I promise, it's not a trick or anything like that." They insisted, emotion and determination evident in their voice. "Please look at me, you  _know_  I'm not lying."

That statement sent her mind reeling again, spinning off in frantic directions that offered no escape from what her child was implying. Still, she refused to uncover her face and look at them, not sure her soul could bear another moment of staring into those agonizingly familiar red and green eyes. And stars above, how her head  _ached_. Still, the determined human didn't falter in their attempts to get through to her. They quickly came up with a new approach, speaking in a softer voice that attempted to reason with her currently thoroughly unreasonable mind.

"You used to sit up with me for hours when I couldn't sleep and wanted to hurt myself." They calmly reminded her, tone becoming heavier at the mention of those events. "You would heal me up when I did and then put colorful band aids on the marks. I liked the ones with the dogs on them best. You learned how to make chocolate bars just to try and cheer me up, but I always complained they weren't as good as the name brand ones. You taught me how to properly brush my hair for the first time in my life, but I always tried to get you to do it for me anyway because I liked how it felt. You taught me how to sew so I could make Dad that sweater for his birthday."

Toriel heard every word, and practically saw each memory play out in her mind as vividly as the day she'd lived them. Every one of them was a personal memory she had shared with Chara. Little things that were never general knowledge to the public. There was no way any imposter could possibly know all of that. But still, she couldn't bring herself to move. Her mind still felt just as locked up beneath the pain and tempest of emotions. And yet, still just as determined, her child persisted.

"Azzy, say something that only you would know." They said, directing the demand towards Flowey.

"I told you not to call me that." Flowey growled irritibly in reply, the sound seeming so alien when coming from her son's voice. "But fine  _fine_ …"

There was a brief shuffle of feet, and then Flowey's voice spoke up from right in front of her, indicating that her human child-  _whoever that may be at this point_ \- was holding him.

"When I was four, I once lit your favorite apron on fire just because I was angry that you wouldn't let me have a whole slice of pie when Dad got to have three all to himself." He started, in a more hesitant tone than Chara, but one that softened by degrees as he went on.

"Sometimes I stole your eyeliner to draw cool stripes on my face and used your shawls as capes just to pose in the mirror. I lost my first tooth because I tripped over Dad's watering can and face planted into a chunk of marble. I named my stuffed monster that you sewed me Patches, and had to have him to sleep the first few years of my life. And the morning before I absorbed Chara's soul, I accidentally spilled your coffee all over the kitchen floor... and never got to apologize for it."

He paused, and then continued on in a tone that was almost wistful or fond. In her mind's eye, she could picture Asriel speaking to match the voice she was hearing.

"And… you used to always rub my ears and hum a lullaby to me to help me sleep. I can still remember how it went."

A soft sort of hum escaped him then, testing and briefly fumbling with the notes before managing to get out the main first verse. He wasn't exactly that musically inclined, but the effort he put into was enough to make the point stick.

"You're still tone deaf as hell bro." Her child teased him, and this time it was primarily Chara's voice she heard.

Flowey sputtered in embarrassment and anger before retaliating to the insult.

"SHUT UP CHARA!" He shouted, resulting in a snicker from the human in question.

It was so very much… like them. Just like the small squabbles the two would get into over a century ago. It was a bit harsher than those times, granted, but still, the familiarity within their banter was unmistakable…

Slowly, she finally summoned up the mental fortitude to uncover her eyes and face the phantoms of her past there before her. She could hardly see through the tears building up in her eyes, or focus through the now persistent pain in her head, but she could still make out their faces. They were not the fully realized visages of her children like she could pull from her dreams and memories, merely what they could seemingly manage to present from what remained of them. But in that moment, she finally could see them for who they truly were.

Her long lost children were alive… By the stars above, they were  _alive_. Asriel and Chara were  _ALIVE_ , right here in front of her. They had been here with her all along, and she had been oblivious. There was... no other explanation. Unless this all turned out to be some obscenely cruel dream, and she was actually passed out drunk on the bench outside at that very moment, with her broken mind and aching soul concocting visions of her deepest desires.

But no... this wasn't a dream. She knew what her dreams felt like at this stage. This was no vision of a timeline passed. Not to mention the pain from her resulting headaches were never detectable whilst she slept like it was now. And the things being said by her children… they were old, buried memories she had subconsciously blocked out long ago due to trauma. These were reminders of things she could recall, but not remember with the full detail as they were recounting. This was nothing any dream or imposter could hope to pull off.

No one else could know all these things. No one could so perfectly imitate their voices and features to this degree. They… really were right there in front of her. Logically she knew it was impossible… it should be impossible! She had held her son as he crumbled to dust, she had cradled Chara's cold body and buried them with her own two paws. Even with the explanations they offered… for them to be alive in any capacity still felt wholly, utterly  _unthinkable_.

But then again… she'd thought the same of the Resets at first, had she not?

"My children…?" She croaked out, her voice just over a whisper as she lifted her paws towards their blurry forms. "You... I…"

There was only one other word that she could get out through the swirl of disbelief and emotion, one word that dominated all others, even with what she already had been told.

" _How_ …?"

Despite the brokenness in her tone, she could see through the haze of tears that her children were smiling at her with relief. Even Fl-Asr- … her son, looked to be pleasantly surprised by her managing to accept what was happening. But it was Chara, now faintly understood to be in control of Frisk's body, who stepped over took her paw with their small hands. Two sets of red eyes met, and neither could manage to stay dry in that moment.

"We can explain more in a bit, and hopefully everything eventually. I know you need time to uh… process all this." They said, voice shaking slightly as they fought against the urge to cry, just as Toriel remembered they often did. "But uh… right now... we should just..."

They trailed off, and after another moment of apparently holding themself back, they suddenly rushed forward and hugged her for all they were worth. They gathered fistfuls up of her nightgown in their hands and held on to her as tightly as they could, as though some part of them feared she would suddenly disappear. As though this was the first time they'd hugged her in over a century… During the process, Flowey was all but dropped and squished between them both, leaving him groaning in annoyance yet again.

Toriel could only remain where she was, leaving the embrace feeling rather one sided as her arms remained stiff at her sides in the same position. She truly felt frozen, even as the blessedly warm emotions from her child's powerful soul met her own in a consistent reassurance. A soul she now knew represented the emotions of both of her human children.

"I've... w-wanted to hug you and Dad again for so long." Chara said after a moment, sniffling once and cursing under their breath. "Screw it, I don't care anymore if saying that makes me sound stupid. I blame Frisk damn it. Their soul is so damn sentimental, and I have to share every sappy emotion they feel."

After continuing to cling to her rigid form for a few moments more, Toriel felt them shift a little and free one arm in order to reach down and pull the flower monster smooshed between them up more properly into the hug.

"Asriel get your floral ass over here." Chara demanded, though not without a touch of humor to it. "You don't get to play tough guy anymore if I can't."

She felt her son's petals brush against her cheek as he was tucked against her within the crook of Chara's arm. He bristled with indignation at his sibling's words with an another irritated huff.

"I literally can't feel Chara, I don't have a-" He started strong, presenting the statement with his usual sour attitude whilst using Asriel's gentler voice, but after a moment he faltered and appeared to then deflate in defeat with a sigh.

Reluctantly it seemed, a pair of cautious vines steadily joined Chara's arms in embracing her. They didn't squeeze tight like they had in all those recalled memories where he had hurt her with them. They simply lightly wrapped their way around her and hung mostly limp once he had a grip. Still, the sensation didn't help the already chaotic mess that her mind currently was.

"Whatever…" Flowey grumbled, but the emotions behind it betrayed more beyond his front of apathy.

For another few moments Toriel remained frozen there, still trying to grasp a fraction of what was happening. But eventually, she slowly, shakily, began to close her arms around her long lost children. Finally holding them again after more than a century of grieving their loss. A loss that had torn their family apart and caused the downward spiral of both of their parents. A loss that had all but defined her for so  _so_  long.

Little things were starting to click into place more noticeably as she tightened her grip by degrees. Flowey's strange fascination with her and Asgore's relationship, his recent request to be referred to as her child, those moments when she saw flickers of her son's features or mannerisms from the flower monster, all the secrecy and pitying looks from Sans regarding his true identity. Now in hindsight, it all seemed so clear. No wonder he addressed her with such disgust during that one memory… What kind of mother would be so blind as to not recognize her own son, simply in a new form?

And on Chara's side, some deep part of her had known that it was their voice she had heard mixed with Frisk's from the very beginning. And she had always made silent comparisons between Frisk and the child she lost, especially when Frisk seemed to go through periods of inexplicable personality shifts. In which they gained a personality that was unmistakably displaying many of Chara's own traits, even the ones generally at odds with Frisk.

Their sharing a body also explained how and why their eyes glowed red in her dreams and her child's inexplicable ability to traverse the dangers of the Underground in comparison to the other fallen children. Frisk had had a guide, one that knew their former home all too well, even with all the time that had passed since they had last been "awake".

It was all falling into place. Even if she had no hope of truly processing any of it in the state she was in. So instead of trying to understand the logistics of what was happening, she did all she could to direct her focus towards what was important.

The how here didn't matter. All that truly mattered was that her children were by some miracle  _alive_  again. She could sort out the inordinate number of questions, implications and past lies piling up later. Right now, she just needed to relish in the fact that they were here with her after she had been tormented by the grief of their loss for over a century.

But as soon as the tides in her mind truly began to shift from shock and disbelief to the spark of joy expected, her headache flared up again. Only this time it was worse than it had ever been before. Like some enormous weight was suddenly bearing down on her skull at full force.

The abrupt pain and disorientation was so intense that she recoiled back from her children and ended up sitting on the floor clutching at her head again. A confused, strained sound of pain escaped her as she did so, clearly startling her children even more than they already had been.

"Mom? What's wrong?!" She heard both Chara's and Frisk's voices clearly then, even as the pain began to make her head swim.

She couldn't answer. Something was wrong, terribly  _terribly_  wrong. But she didn't know how to vocalize it. For a brief moment, she thought it was the alcohol in her system causing some bad reaction in combination with her stress. But no, this was something far worse. The pain was unlike anything she had ever experienced, making her grit her teeth together until they ached down to the root. But beyond that, flashes of images were beginning to obscure her vision and consume her mind in momentary bursts. They came so fast that she could hardly even perceive what they portrayed before they were replaced with another. And another and another, an endless deluge of sights and sounds that were all vaguely recognizable, but all the more chaotic.

She saw flashes of the other fallen children, of Flowey, of Frisk. She saw herself being killed again and again by the two of them, she saw a glimpse of what could only be the true first time she'd ever seen the surface again, she saw herself despondent and back on the throne, she saw herself facing a mob of angry monsters calling for her banishment, she saw herself losing control of her flames… and accidentally striking Frisk down in a moment of desperation and despair.

Endless visions detached from any context or meaning. All screaming and tearing through her mind without mercy.

It seemed the underlying truth of the mysterious headaches that had been afflicting her was finally coming to a head. It felt as though something was coming undone within her mind. Or rather, it was like a dam holding something immense back had finally shattered. These continual headaches she'd been dealing with had only been the cracks, but this… this was the full collapse. Whatever was happening to her, it wasn't good. It wasn't normal. And it certainly wasn't something that should be happening even in this situation.

She could faintly feel her children touching her, shaking her, trying to snap her out of whatever had consumed her. But her affliction would not be banished so easily. She was steadily losing her awareness of what was happening around her to the barrage of visions that just kept coming every moment.

"Ugh, I told you idiots that this would be a bad idea!" Flowey snapped, voice slipping between his usual voice and Asriel's voice.

His exclamation sounded as though it was coming from far away, muffled by the rising pitch of the ringing in her ears. If Chara, Frisk or both responded, she didn't hear it. Her senses were dulling rapidly as lightheadedness set in.

"I…" She tried to croak out a response, but it withered and died after that one syllable.

Before she even realized what was happening, she was hitting the floor hard, collapsing on her side as her children had no hope of keeping her upright. She could distantly hear the voices of her children, all _three_  of her children, calling out to her, and calling out for help. Including help from a certain skeleton they all knew was listening. Their cries grew duller and duller, as did her vision. But one voice still managed to break through whatever was stealing away her consciousness.

 _"tori!"_ Sans called out to her as he manifested at her side in an instant, the panicked desperation in his voice coming through.

But she was far beyond the point where she could properly respond, and if he did or said anything more, it was lost to the chaos overtaking her mind.

Her scarlet eyes glazed over. The only thing she could seem to direct any meager focus towards beyond the agony was what had happened before this affliction had overtaken her. Her long lost children were  _alive_ … and whatever was happening to her… it was trying to steal her from them once again. Just like her dreams had done… and how that group of misguided humans had so long ago...

" _Cha...ra_ …  _As...ri...el_ …" She choked out her children's names and moved her paws in a vain attempt to feel for them, all near subconscious acts.

After that, there were a few moments where all she felt was pain, and the endless barrage of images and sounds were the sole things she could perceive.

Then there was only darkness and silence.

The last thought that managed to manifest in her mind before all awareness washed away, was that the sensation she was feeling was quite similar to all the times she now remembered dying.

 


	33. Reclamation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally finished this behemoth of a chapter. It just so happened that this super important chapter was set to be written at one of the most busy times of my life. I got a new job and am moving into a new place soon, so its been a crazy, but very exciting few weeks. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this supersize chapter as this fic draws closer to its end. Its been an amazing ride but there will at least be one more chapter left ^^ (And a sequel to look out for coming soon after!) It actually really works out that I'm posting this chapter now, as it wraps up a lot of things and it is being posted on the anniversary of when I posted chapter one last year. I didn't plan that, but it kind of feels like fate. So cool. 
> 
> ((Warnings for this chapter: Needles, some body horror, mentions of suicide and self harm.))

Toriel was falling.

At least, that is what it felt like. But perceiving any sensation she was currently experiencing as real felt far fetched at best. There was nothing to actively see, to hear, to feel, and yet she could somehow tell her mind was still consumed by the visions from before. It was all too much, coming and going so fast that she perceived only darkness and a mix of noises so high in pitch that it registered as nothing but a faint, distant whine.

She did not know how long she had been in this state. Sometimes it felt like it had only been an hour or so, while other times, she feared it had been days. But even putting forth the energy towards pondering that was too much for her overburdened mind. So for the majority of the time, she just fell. Fell, and remembered.

At one point, she suddenly sensed that she wasn’t alone. She couldn’t explain it, but she knew there was someone else here in this strange personal hell she was trapped in. It wasn’t her children or Sans or anyone she knew… but… it still felt familiar.

The encounter of sorts didn’t last long, but provided her with the only break from the endless routine her mind had fallen into. Whatever had invaded her mindspace, it was able to push itself into her direct awareness far more prominently than all the flashes of forgotten memories. For what felt like a few drawn out moments, the chaos that had gripped her stopped.

The silence then had been truly deafening, and the darkness seemed to close in on her from all sides. Then it was though the darkness itself was suddenly given form, shifting, congealing, and bubbling there before her. Out from the rippling mass of pure blackness, a stark white face emerged as though rising up through thick inky tar. It was a skull, with errant cracks jutting out from both empty eye sockets. Oily black liquid poured from the sockets, as though the darkness itself was leaking through them, wishing to swallow the skull back into the nether. All that liquid poured into a mouth set in a wide, chilling smile.

The figure seemed to be regarding her with its empty sockets as its body continued to ungulate and ripple around it. Its twisted mouth moved, causing more black liquid to spill from it as well. As it did, strange, guttural, distorted sounds escaped it, cutting through the chilling silence. It was hard to say… but it seemed as though it were trying to speak to her. Even if she had understood what it was trying to say, Toriel couldn’t have offered any sort of reply. From her perception she was still in freefall, and unable to move her body at all.

Then just as quickly as it came, the strange being seemingly lost its fight with the flood of memories still wishing to consume her. It struggled, remaining in her perception as it called out to her. It's skull was being pulled back into the darkness, and two seemingly free floating hands burst out of the black mass in order to reach out and grasp in her direction. It's unnatural alien voice cried out in distress and desperation, but it was being lost to the roar of the returning visions. And even though its words were still utterly incomprehensible… she got the odd sense it was calling her name…

Then it was gone, and all her thoughts were back to being inundated with things long forgotten. A brief pondering over what she’d just witnessed flickered across her mindscape before being drowned out by the chaos.

Somehow… she knew who that mysterious figure had been… and yet she didn’t.

As though his appearance had torn down yet another walled out section of memories, visions regarding the monster in question began to pour in along with the others. Flashes of ancient events they’d both bore witness too. She was helplessly swept away by it all again, unable to keep her head above the waves.

The only thing she could do was continue to fall… and remember.

\-----

Something was beeping.

That was the first thing Toriel became aware of. There was a slow, steady beep that filled the darkness, its artificial sound rhythmically piercing her mindscape. It was the second interruption since the mysterious figure’s appearance. How long had it been since then? She couldn’t even begin to think of it. There had been small, occasional moments where she had sensed other, familiar precenses at the edges of her consciousness, but try as them might, none of them could penetrate the chaos gripping her. Whatever was happening now though… it was different.

Something had changed. The flood of images and sounds… had slowed. In fact, as the beeping seemed to grow louder, they only flickered past in small bursts. They continued to dwindle and dwindle in appearance until finally, there was only the unending darkness… and the shrill beeping.

The beeping steadily began to align with another sound, or rather, sensation. It took her a few moments to recognize it as the rhythmic pulsing of a soul, her own soul. With each pulse and accompanying beep, it was as though strength began to seep into her body. She began to gain awareness of her limbs, her head, her tail, more and more with every moment. It became apparent she was lying on her back on something soft but still uncomfortable. The beeping was coming from somewhere near her left ear, each burst of sound stirring her further. Most notable of all, was that there was a slight weight on her chest and shoulder. A weight that came from something… someone she recognized.

Though distant, and still muffled, she could hear as well as feel weak sobs shaking through the small form on top of her. Sobs that reignited her maternal instincts and sped up the process of her waking further. She could feel their soul then as well, brilliant, powerful and brimming with life, even beyond the terrible sorrow that was present there. Her mind was still an unfocused swirl of vaugeities, but those feelings were clear to her.

She inhaled sharply, truly feeling the sensation of air entering her nostrils for the first time in… however long she had been out. The cool air brought with it many scents, the first of her senses to be brought fully out of the fog. The clarity of scent becoming stronger with every breath she took. The air itself smelled harsh with something akin to cleaning products, making her nostrils burn ever so slightly. The scent of the familiar little form curled against her was stronger still, and they were so close that her inhales caused their hair to tickle her nostrils.

Other familiar scents saturated the room too, some old and faint, and some betraying the current presence of the owner of the scent. One that smelled of flowers and tea leaves, and made her nose curl a bit. And another that smelled of uncooked noodles, cheap scale cream and sweat. There were others too, unfamiliar scents all seemingly muddied with the chemical tinged smell of the air, but she focused on what was familiar. Like all the sensations returning to her, what was familiar acted like an anchor for her still wayward mind, holding it down in the here and now.

Her heightened breathing seemed to attract attention of some sort, as the sobbing she heard abruptly halted and she could suddenly hear muffled voices all around her. Their pitches and tones rose in what seemed to be surprise and excitement, encouraging Toriel to try harder to move. She curled her fingers, feeling a deep ache in them as though sore from disuse. The same dull pain was found in her toes and jaw as well, even the top tips of her ears. But even so, she continued to push herself and move what she could, until eventually she could will her eyes to slowly ease open a bit.

They felt uncomfortable, and immediately stung when faced with the sudden light. She squeezed them shut again by reflex, but another hopeful pulse and touch from the one on top of her made her try again. This time she fought to keep them open, managing to at least look through narrowed eyes to reduce the pain from what looked to be harsh, artificial lights.

With her sight, blurry and weak as it currently was, the majority of her clarity of thought returned and she was able to truly and fully awaken from whatever had afflicted her. The lingering shadows of it loomed stubbornly over her soul, but it was no longer in control. And with the start of the clearing of her mind, also began the clearing of her vision. The image of the one who had been weeping against her finally became recognizable.

“Mom…?” Her child croaked out, in the same double voice she remembered. 

It drew back all the memories of what had transpired before she’d consumed by the flood of visions. They had to compete with the new ones still clawing about her mindscape, but they remained the focus of her meager attention.

Toriel could only stare for a moment, trying to make sense of what was happening and finding that her vision was still swimming. But even through the haze, she could tell who it was she was looking at. The deep scarlet she could make out in their all too wide eyes made it clear. Some of the last beautiful eyes she’d seen before going under.

“T-take it easy, Chara.” A still muffled but familiar nervous voice came from beside Toriel’s head, the same direction as that infernal beeping. “Sh-she’s probably still in sh-shock. It’s great that sh-she’s waking up but we don’t want to j-jinx it.”

Toriel tried to parse the words, initially just trying to sort out what had happened, and where she was. The voice was undoubtedly Alphys, and Toriel was certainly not still on the floor of her children’s bedroom. But something particular about what the Alphys had said stuck out and stalled all her other attempts at rationalization.

Alphys… had called her child Chara.

There was little time to try to grasp the implications of just what that meant, before another voice suddenly spoke up from Toriel’s other side.

“Come here, young one.” It rumbled, and suddenly lifted Chara away from her. “Give her some space for now.”

She turned her head towards the voice despite her sore neck protesting. She could make out a huge mass of gold and white, and two distinguishable bi-colored eyes of orange and blue. In her mind’s strained state, the full realization of who it was sent a pang of negative emotion through her. Thankfully though, those did soften as the moment passed and her vision focused further.

“Toriel… can you hear us?” Asgore asked, his voice coming through clearer.

His voice grated on her frail nerves, and she flinched and narrowed her eyes up at him in an instinctual expression of annoyance. Oddly, that appeared to result in happy, excited reactions from them all, and even a few weary laughs from the monster currently the target of the look.

“W-well, I’ll take that as a yes of sorts.” He relented, sounding more joyful than anything. “So long as that means you are doing better, I will take it any day.”

That made her blink, and banished that impulsive negativity as quickly as it had come. Questions once again flooded her regarding just what had happened since she had lost consciousness in her children’s room. Her jaw moved slightly, but no sound would come out, as though her throat were stuffed with cotton. She felt Asgore’s paw rest briefly on her arm, a silent reassurance, before he spoke again.

“I will let the others know what has happened.” He said, setting Chara and what she could now see was Flowey in his pot down on a chair next to where she laying. “Help Alphys look after your mother, children, but be gentle and quiet.”

Toriel blinked, and he was gone, leaving her in a stupor of confusion in his wake. It took her a moment to realize she had momentarily blacked out again, and did her best to try and shake herself more awake. There was far too much going on for her to possibly slip back into unconsciousness again. Not to mention the fear that that would mean the return of the flood of memories. She wasn’t sure she could even bear to think about that.

So she strained further to focus on what was happening in the moment and looked at her children beside her. Thankfully, there was nothing in their expressions to suggest she’d been out again for long. But there was every indication that they were deeply shocked and relieved to see her awake. Even Flowey’s eyes seemed to be shining… his… green eyes…

He was still wearing Asriel’s face. No… his true face. She could see that far more clearly now, and all the emotions that had been cut off before came rushing back. It was briefly difficult to choose what to address about her current situation first… The immense amount of reclaimed memories that now were surging throughout her mind, the sudden change in her location along with the unknown in regards to what had happened to her, or the fact her long dead children were now once again in front of her, alive.

There was only one real choice she could make when faced with that. Both things were incredibly life changing and even world shattering, but her maternal duties always took priority in the end, even in the dire state she was in.

It hurt, but she gathered all the strength she could and forced herself to shift so that she was better facing them. The movement elicited small gasps from both of them and some nervous exclamations from Alphys, but Toriel paid them no mind. Not even a sharper pain from her chest area that came with the movement was enough to deter her. She’d been without Chara and Asriel for over a century, she’d be damned if a little pain kept her from them any longer.

Speech continued to be an immense struggle, but with effort she managed to finally get her voice to work again. It was only a bit of a rasping wheezy sound at first. But slowly, words did begin to escape her as well.

“Ch-chara…” She croaked, feeling tears blur her vision all over again. “As..riel…”

As she spoke, she lifted a trembling paw towards them. As if by instinct, they both grabbed onto it, allowing her to weakly curl her fingers around Chara’s small hand and Asriel’s vine. Chara was trying valiantly not to cry, a fight they had clearly lost when she was first waking up. Asriel’s expression was more difficult to read. It still carried a level of distance from the situation, but his eyes were shining with great emotion at her awakening all the same.

“Mom…” Both children spoke in tandem, in a tone that all but broke her heart.

A newfound strength surged through her, and it seemed something similar occured for her children. As she moved again to sweep them into as much of a hug as she could manage, they too moved to meet her and hold on to her. It was so frustrating she couldn’t cradle them properly as she wished to, but she put her all into what she could manage. She could feel the great outpouring of emotion from hers, Chara’s, and Frisk’s soul. Asriel’s magical response was faint… but not non-existent as he had suggested many times over.

It mattered not. They were here with her again. She was able to hold them and feel them and be with them after dreaming of doing so for so long. And unlike last time, even though her mind was still a haze of confusion, no agonizing headache was there to rob her of this moment.

“My children…” She rasped, voice growing stronger along with the joy in her soul. “It a-all was truly r-real then… you really… you r-really have come back to me.”

She held them all the tighter and they returned the favor, both affirming the revelation yet again.

“W-we’re back Mom…” Chara managed to get out through their own escaping tears. “We’re really back… I’m so sorry we d-didn’t tell you for so long.”

Asriel just made a soft affirming sound in his throat, agreeing but not saying anything beyond that. Toriel didn’t worry about that though, she let everything she’d just went through and everything else she could possibly worry about fade away in order to just revel in the moment that had been stolen from her before. They all simply held one another for a while through a mess of tears, long overdue apologies and expressions of love that they’d been deprived of for over a century. At long last, it felt as if their broken family had been brought back together, even if they all knew things would never be the same again.

Though Alphys was clearly anxiously watching over the whole situation, she didn’t interrupt. She let Toriel and her children have their critical moment together, and Toriel was deeply thankful for that. Eventually, though she could have stayed that way with her children for the rest of eternity, she knew she had to at least understand what had happened to her.

Her children thankfully seemed to recognize that too and Chara sat back in their chair again. She stared at them and stroked their cheek and hair lightly for another moment, just further marvelling at what a miracle she had been blessed with.

She still didn’t fully understand how exactly Chara shared Frisk’s body, but there was no more doubt in her mind that it was indeed her Chara’s soul in there with Frisk. Asriel’s situation too was just as confounding, perhaps even more so, but there was no further room in her for denial. He too tolerated her touch as she ran her thumb down the the side of his fuzzy conjured face, but did no more than that, staying quiet and somewhat morose overall.

If she had been in a better state, she would have done more to try and address that, but there were inevitably other things she had to understand first. Like… where the hell she was right now.

She finally tore her gaze away from Chara and Asriel to look around the room, blinking against the harsh artificial lights above. Her eyes widened as they adjusted and she could take in her surroundings. The first thing that struck her was just how white everything was. The ceiling was white, the walls were white, even the floors were white. Pristine too, and carrying a scent of sterilization that explained the chemical smell she’d picked up on before. The walls were mostly bare save for some small instructional looking posters here and there, as well as one large whiteboard behind her children.

It was covered in scribbled numbers and various bits of data that she couldn’t make any sense of, but most obvious was her own name written at the top in rigid font. “Toriel” and a smear next to it that betrayed someone had written her old last name and then erased it. She would have rolled her eyes at that if she weren’t so set on investigating her location further.

Her ears picked up the sounds outside the room. The sounds of wheels rolling over linoleum, distant chatter, distant crying, various beeping noises and the sound of elevator doors opening and closing. The most obvious sound, that being the one that had initially been part of rousing her from sleep, drew her attention most of all. She turned to define the source, hoping secretly it was something that could be silenced.

On her other side, behind Alphys on her step stool, she could see a whole host of things that made her inwardly wince. The source of the beeping was obvious enough, a machine with a display monitor showing a green line against a stark black background. With every pulse of her soul, the line would jump up with a high pitch beep and draw an arc. It vaguely reminded Toriel of Sans’ machine, the one they destroyed that night at his old home. But it wasn’t the only imposing sight that met her, nor the one that unnerved her the most.

A tall IV stand also stood over her like some cold metal tree, supporting a green bag full of lightly glowing green magic. There was a tube carrying the magic that descended down towards her, and Toriel suddenly became all too aware of the IV line feeding directly into her soul through her chest. She went stiff as she realized she could faintly feel the needle itself, and that that’s what had been causing her pain when she moved.

Such a thing was so alien to Toriel, who hadn’t been subject to any sort of significant medical procedure since she’d had Asriel. And the techniques used on her then were far more on the magical side, rather than relying on machines and IV lines. She still recognized what it all meant of course, but that didn’t stop the inevitable question from leaving her.

“Alphys… wh-where…” She croaked out, lifting a shaking paw to rest against where the needle entered her chest. She found it was covered in tape, and was only partially covered further by a thin, pale yellow gown she had apparently been dressed in.

“D-don’t try to talk if it’s t-too difficult.” Alphys said from beside her, resting a comforting hand on her shoulder and trying to ease her towards the pillow behind her again. “And try t-to lay back okay? I kn-know you must be really c-confused b-but, you just need to take it easy f-for now, okay? Try n-not to worry. I’m s-sure you must have… uh... plenty on your mind r-right now anyway.”

IV… pillows…

“Alph-phys…” Toriel insisted further in her fragile voice, looking the lizard monster in the eyes with all the intensity she could muster. “Where… am… I?”

Alphys blinked down at her, tapping her stubby claws together before relenting to Toriel’s authoritative gaze with a sigh.

“You’re in the h-hospital.” She said in a surprisingly gentle tone. “The big one th-they just finished building in Newer Home. I p-pulled some strings so th-that I could be the one pr-primarily looking after you. S-since the doctors here wouldn’t know how to uh... address what was… going on with you.”

Toriel stared up a her, mind rushing to try and grasp all the implications at hand. She felt panic edging in at the edges of her mind, but she fought to keep calm. Chara’s small hand rested against her arm, trying to comfort her, but she felt numb to the touch in her dread. Her claws curled tightly over the spot where the needle was inserted into her.

“What… h-happened to m-me?” She croaked, voice shaking more openly.

Alphys gave her shoulder a rub and bit her lip, eyes darting about behind her glasses as she clearly struggled to find the right words. Toriel didn’t breathe as she waited, and noticed the beeping machine begin to increase in tempo.

“It’s n-not easy to explain.” Alphys admitted, curling her thick tail anxiously around her legs. “Basically you… you reg-gained your-”

Before she could finish that statement, the door to the room slammed open and two familiar, boisterous shouts filled the room.

“TORIEL’S AWAKE?!” Cried one, the roughness betraying it to be Undyne.

“TORIEL! OH THANK GOODNESS THANK GOODNESS! I KNEW YOU’D BE OKAY, I JUST KNEW IT!” Cried the other, and Toriel didn’t even have the chance to parse the voice before its owner was at her side trying to wrap her in a hug.

Asgore followed after the two, but he hung back near the foot of her bed, wisely not wanting to crowd her any more than Papyrus already was. Luckily for her sake, Alphys was there to block the well meaning skeleton from potentially tackling her in her hospital bed. The lizard monster fired off a single spark of magical electricity with a crack of her tail, startling Papyrus enough to stop him in his tracks.

“Shh! Guys! You need to be quiet!” She demanded, in a hushed and surprisingly steady voice. “And Papyrus, you need to give her space right now!”

Papyrus blinked and then flashed a sheepish grin, rubbing the back of his head with a gloved hand.

“R-RIGHT SORRY!” He sputtered out before his sockets sparkled excitedly. “BUT I AM HAPPY TO SEE YOUR CONFIDENCE TRAINING WITH I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, IS CERTAINLY PAYING OFF!”

Beside him, Undyne gave a hearty chuckle and elbowed Alphys affectionately in agreement. The lizard monster flushed a deep orange color and drew her tail tighter around herself, but didn’t argue the compliment. Toriel supposed it was encouraging to see, and was a sign that Alphys did show a growing confidence in relation to her new devotion to medical magic. How much of that was or wasn’t a result of Papyrus’ apparent training though, she couldn’t be sure.

Her still rapidly pulsing soul made it difficult for her to ponder that further anyway, having trouble recovering from being startled so suddenly. But after a few moments of steadying her breathing, the machine’s beeping returned to what it had been before and she relaxed by degrees. But stars, just getting worked up like that had drained her so much.

“I am… s-so very happy... to see you all t-too.” She rasped up to them between slow, heavy breaths, managing a weak but genuine smile. “I apologize for any… w-worry I have caused y-you all.”

All the eyes on her softened at that, no doubt for pity. Toriel didn’t exactly care for that, but she knew that it was likely unavoidable in this situation. Had her place been switched with any one of them, she’d probably be doing the same. Okay maybe not Asgore… not yet… but the others certainly. Undyne crossed her arms and offered Toriel a surprisingly soft smile, a rare sight on the fish monster’s face.

“Sheesh Toriel, even in your hospital bed you’re saying stuff like that.” She observed with a light chuckle. “And still with no contractions! I’m surprised Chara hasn’t puked from all the mushy sap in this room.”

Hearing her child’s name from Undyne’s mouth made Toriel freeze up again. All at once she remembered that Alphys had done the very same earlier, a fact that had become lost amongst her joyful reunion with her children. She blinked up at Undyne with wide eyes.

“Y-you… you called th-them…” She began to rasp out, but trailed off.

Undyne looked confused for a moment, then her own single eye widened and she shared an uneasy glance with Papyrus and Alphys, who wore similar expressions. Asgore too, from his place across from her, suddenly seemed nervous. Toriel waited anxiously for an answer, but none of the four adults in the room were the ones who gave it. Instead, the touch on her arm became a tap, and she looked over to see Frisk was now the one looking back at her, narrow brown eyes and all. The sudden switch somewhat startled her again, but she forced herself to not overthink it and just pay attention to her child’s explanation.

They were signing to her, but holding each hand symbol longer than usual for her to more easily read them.

(Mom… I… we… told them everything.) They signed, and despite their clear nerves the shine of their signature Determination shone in their eyes as they did so. (About the Resets… about Chara and Asriel… all of it.)

Beside them, Asriel just nodded, still ever silent but ever content at maintaining his true face it seemed. The answers left Toriel feeling like the wind had just been knocked out of her, breathless and confused and trying quickly to make sense of what they were saying. Frisk continued though, and she had to force herself to pay close attention to each one.

(And… Sans told his side of it all too…) Frisk went on, a heavier somberness entering their demeanor. (Including the stuff about... Gaster… and... where he and Papyrus came from.)

Toriel’s eyes widened again, and she heard the machine starting to beep faster once more. Like so many other things she’d been forced to face as of late, she almost didn’t want to believe it. But the proof was right there in the name they spoke. A name she… suddenly felt more familiar with than ever, but she pushed that notion aside for the moment. Sans, who she had worked with slowly to convince to tell her of his past and secrets… had now shared that information with their whole family… while she was unconscious.

She didn’t know what to think about that. It didn’t seem real. Plus her mind was still in too much of a whirl for her to know if she should be totally shocked, worried, proud of him or even hurt or frustrated.

“He… t-told you?” She croaked out in disbelief.

Frisk and Asriel both answered with a single nod, and just like the adults, the weight in their eyes assured they were telling the truth. Toriel continued to wrestle internally with how to feel, wondering how they took so many of the details Sans had shared with her, if he even shared all of them with the others. She turned to look at all the adults in the room, and the beeping continued to slowly escalate.

“You all know th-then… all of it?” She asked, directing her gaze at each of them in turn and ending by settling it on Papyrus. “Even you…?”

The four of them shared another set of long looks, then they all turned to her and nodded, a variety of solemn and unsettled expressions on their faces. Including the focus of her last question, Papyrus, who wore perhaps the most dejected expression she’d ever seen from him, one no one would ever hope to see from the usually exuberant skeleton. There was a deeper, personal kind of hurt there too, the kind that was born of finding out the person dearest to you has been lying and hiding important things from you all your life. The pain was faded, suggesting it was already on its way to being moved past, but it still hurt terribly to see.

She hadn’t noticed it before… but all of them had a new weight to their eyes. Partially in the form of dark shadows under all their eyes and partially in a sort of dullness and severity that hadn’t been there before. It struck her, because she realized they were the same looks that she gained after learning the terrible truth about their world and its past timelines, and the same look Sans had always carried since the day she met him face to face for the first time.

It was the look of someone burdened with something immense, something that had in the past shattered their entire worldview. A look she knew she reflected back at them.

Oh Sans… she could hardly imagine how he was-

Sans...

She suddenly became far too aware of his absence in the room. The last thing she remembered happening before she passed out, was him appearing at her side once she’d fallen and hearing him cry out her name. He had sounded so terrified, so agonized. Why he had be just about mad with worry at this point… had no one told him yet that she was awake now?

“Papyrus…” She croaked out, reaching a shaking paw out to lightly grip his arm in supplication. “Wh-where… is he?”

The skeleton was stiff under her touch for a moment, and his expression grew tight with nervous emotion. But after a moment, he gave in with a heavy sigh. A sound that felt so very wrong coming from Papyrus of all monsters. The new weight that seemed to be hanging over him was all the more obvious then, as he visibly deflated from its influence.

“MY BROTHER…” He began, in a far weaker voice than usual. “HASN’T BEEN WELL SINCE YOU FELL UNCONSCIOUS TORIEL.”

A shadow passed over the other’s expressions, including the children, in a form of silent agreement. Papyrus continued, making a clear but so far successful effort not to let tears form in his sockets.

“HE… EXPECTEDLY BLAMED HIMSELF FOR IT ALL. I’M AFRAID HE HAS SLIPPED BACK INTO HIS OLD HABITS OF BEING DISTANT AND LISTLESS. PERHAPS EVEN MORE SO THAN BEFORE… AFTER HE AND FRISK FINALLY GOT THROUGH TELLING US EVERYTHING, HE JUST… HE...”

The skeleton stopped, setting his jaw against emotions that were clearly still raw. Undyne moved to put a comforting arm around him and he allowed himself to lean into his friend. Asgore was surprisingly the one to finish the hanging statement.

“He seemed to shut down.” He explained in a quiet, somber tone. “The poor fellow has certainly not been himself.”

Papyrus sniffed once and nodded, fiddling his gloved hands together anxiously.

“HONESTLY… MOST OF THE TIME… EVEN I DON’T KNOW WHERE HE IS. HE JUST DISAPPEARS FOR WHOLE DAYS AT A TIME. AND EVEN WHEN HE IS AROUND, HE HARDLY SAYS OR DOES ANYTHING… NO MATTER WHAT WE DO.”

The words hit Toriel hard, especially in her weakened state. Some part of her had been expecting this, had known that something this severe happening to her would cause Sans to relapse in regards to his recent improvement. Especially since the situation offered every opportunity for Sans to blame himself for it a hundred times over. But to hear the full extent of how badly he was handling this...

Her soul ached, deeply enough that it seemed to make the needle poking inside it hurt all the more as well. She wouldn’t allow tears now though, not in full view of the others who already were so keen on pitying her. No… she had to be strong right now, even if she felt mentally and physically fragile enough to blow away in the wind. The beeping of that irritating machine seemed to slow somewhat, the sound coming through sluggish.

But whilst she had been struggling against despair, Papyrus had been pulling himself out of it, working up some of his usual pep and positivity. Perhaps it was in response to seeing how much his words had caused her pain. But even then, it was still a far cry from the Papyrus they knew. He stepped over and rested a gloved hand on her arm, smiling weakly down at her despite it all.

“BUT EVERY NIGHT… WITHOUT FAIL... HE HAS BEEN STAYING HERE AT THE HOSPITAL AT YOUR SIDE. EVEN WHEN THE STAFF HAVE TRIED TO THROW HIM OUT, HE JUST POPS RIGHT BACK IN. HE IS THE ONE WHO HAS KEPT YOUR ROOM SO TIDY, ALWAYS BRINGING THINGS IN FOR YOU FROM HOME TO TRY AND MAKE YOU COMFORTABLE, AND I’VE EVEN CAUGHT HIM TRYING TO STRAIGHTEN UP YOUR FUR FOR YOU SO IT WOULDN’T GET TOO MESSY WHILE YOU WERE UNABLE TO MAINTAIN IT.”

Toriel blinked up at him, feeling some of the painful tightness surrounding her soul fade. Through her hazy thoughts, she tried to picture Sans doing all that, and felt her face heat up a bit despite herself. She moved a shaky paw to touch one of her long ears, and indeed felt that the fur there was smooth and soft. If he had it in him to do these things, even in the face of what must have felt like his world being torn down all over again, perhaps the situation was not as dire as her instincts had suggested.  
There was something else that stuck out to her about what Papyrus had said, something implied that concerned her… but she didn’t have a chance to speak it before the skeleton continued.

“HE’S BEEN IN A VERY BAD PLACE THROUGHOUT ALL OF THIS…” Papyrus admitted, a small shine returning to his tired looking sockets. “BUT HE’S NEVER ALLOWED HIS SADNESS TO STEAL HIS LOVE FOR YOU, OR ANY OF US. EVEN THOUGH IT HAS CLEARLY BEEN VERY HARD FOR HIM TO DEAL WITH WHAT HAPPENED… WITH YOU AND WITH ALL OF US… AND HE HAS SLIPPED PRETTY FAR BACK IN TERMS OF HOW HE WAS DOING BEFORE…. HE HASN’T GIVEN UP, NOT LIKE HE... DID BACK UNDERGROUND.”

His attempt at riding the small wave of positivity he’d been building faltered somewhat at that, and he gained a faraway look for a moment. A look that Toriel realized now carried a far deeper understanding of exactly what was meant by Sans’ “giving up” back then. But then he shook himself and forced his smile back into place.

“BUT NOW YOU’RE AWAKE! SO I’M SURE THAT WILL HELP HIM GET BACK TO HIS USUAL SANS-Y SELF IN NO TIME!” He exclaimed with a dramatic pose. “AS SOON AS HE GETS THE MESSAGE I SENT ON MY WAY HERE, I AM CERTAIN HE WILL BE HERE IN A JIFFY! AND THEN EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE!”

Once again, Toriel’s sluggish mind had to catch up to everything being said, but as it did, she got the feeling his enthusiasm was more than a little forced. She smiled anyway, thankful for his attempts at reassuring her. It had at least convinced her that Sans had not simply crumbled in the face of telling everyone his most terrible secrets. Though she got the feeling he had only told what was necessary for comprehension, and that there were certainly some details that she’d been told that he’d left out when telling the others. Some things that, in all likelihood, would probably stay between them for a long time.

That smile she had managed faded some though as she caught sight of something behind Papyrus she hadn’t noticed before. On that opposite wall there was a huge window, offering a view of Newer Home’s sprawling cityscape below. Below that was what looked to be a bench made up into a makeshift cot, and the scattering of ketchup bottles, books and a few dirty socks across its surface betrayed who had been using it. That was enough to make her emotions swell, but even that wasn’t the most striking thing to see.

All along the windowsill were dozens and dozens of get well cards in a rainbow of colors, clearly crafted by her students. Even from the distance, she could make out some of the children’s distinct artistic styles. Among them were other heartfelt gifts, like plush goats and snails, and a few brightly colored flowers in vases. Including, she noticed, a very familiar little pot of forget-me-nots. At the ends, two sets of colorful get well soon balloons floated lazily, dipping towards the floor but still cheerfully displaying their thoughtful message.

The sight was a truly impactful one, and nearly broke her resolve not to give into tears. But as much joy as it summoned up in her, it also brought back that other question that had crossed her mind before, and this time it came back burning for an answer. Beside her, the machine’s beeping picked up its pace again.

“Papyrus…” She rasped, dread flooding through her once more. “H-How long h-have I been unconscious…?”

The skeleton flinched at the question, and the nervousness that appeared on his face was nearly answer enough, but when he clearly couldn’t find the words, Alphys took over for him. She looked at Toriel as though afraid her words could shatter her.

“Toriel… y-you’ve been in that comatose state for n-nearly a month now.” She admitted gravely. “It would have been four weeks exactly tomorrow.”

\----

The next short span of time passed in a sluggish crawl, where every moment either hurt… or was threatening to be lost to her foggy mind. After she’d been told just how long she’d been out, Alphys insisted she needed to just rest for a while, rest and be with her children. And she tried, she certainly was happy that they had been properly set in the bed with her so she could better hold them close, but she couldn’t rest.

Her mind was too busy, just like all those sleepless nights of insomnia she’d faced before. There were a million and one questions to be asked and answered. A month’s worth of questions. But she did concede to just being looked after a while once they all had helped her sit up properly, letting Alphys run some tests and confirm she was stable. She had just woken up from… well… a coma, after all. So while her children steadily dozed off in her arms, no doubt weary from such an emotional experience, Toriel stayed quite wide awake.

All the while, everyone stayed in the room with her, pulling up chairs and offering her company and attempts at light hearted conversation. She was made aware that the news of her awakening had been posted on her UnderNet account by Alphys, and was being met with much celebration and many “likes.” Toriel did her best to seem appreciative, but couldn’t help but imagine how monsters were going to react to her once she was out of the hospital.

Pity was not how she’d wanted to fix her public image with her former subjects… but there was little to be done about that now. At least her students and coworkers would get the news as well. She was sure she must have worried them terribly… and that there would be a mountain of make up work waiting for her when she could return to her duties at the school.

Though she didn’t exactly enjoy being fussed over like this, not like she enjoyed fussing over others at least, it was… nice to be reminded that she was so cared for. She just wished it was under better circumstances. She’d lost a whole month of her life to whatever it was that had happened. Just trying to understand the weight of that alone was difficult enough. But what she had endured while unconscious… that chaotic stream of memories… that strange figure that she’d encountered… it all made a lost month feel like a mere drop in the ocean.

After making it clear Toriel wasn’t going to sleep, she and the others finally convinced Alphys to start explaining exactly what had happened to her. And as she began, Toriel found that it was as she’d feared since she’d first started regaining her memories in her sleep… What she had experienced was the full multitude of memories she’d lost to the Resets… being regained all in a rush. But there was a twist to it she hadn’t anticipated.

“It was because y-you lived through _all_ the Resets, Toriel.” Alphys explained, gesturing with her hands as she spoke. “Every s-single one from every single h-human that ever fell. Me and the others o-only endured the ones from Fl-Flowey and Frisk. But you and Asgore… y-you went through _all_ of them. That’s m-more memories to regain th-than I can even imagine. Not to the m-mention the ones surrounding D-Dr. Gaster too…”

The lizard monster seem to grow a bit pale at that name in particular and her tail thumped nervously against her chair, but she maintained her composure and sober tone.

“It was only natural that your m-mind wouldn’t handle that well. Our minds naturally block out the memories not of the c-current timeline, or of things or monsters that were… well… r-removed from our reality... as an understandable defense mechanism. But they c-can be triggered again with the right circumstances, often o-only in vague feelings of deja vu… unless of course you suddenly find yourself learning the f-full truth about the Resets themselves… and believe them.”

Alphys glanced at the makeshift cot behind her for a moment and swallowed hard before turning back to Toriel and continuing.

“Once you truly b-believed Sans’ words as fact, the sort of “lock” on your m-memories was undone. Your mind c-couldn’t maintain its natural block on them and you started to r-remember things from the other timelines. First important snippets i-in the form of vivid dreams when your mind was at its l-least occupied, but finally culminating e-enough that it all sort of… rushed back at once.”

Around her, the others all nodded, expressions betraying various levels of unease. An unease they perhaps felt less worried to express now that the children were asleep. Toriel’s gaze wandered between them all, taking in the exhaustion evident in their faces, of both the physical and mental sort. Asgore was the one to speak up next, perhaps looking to be the weariest of them aside from Toriel herself.

“Frisk told us something similar happened when Asriel had taken all of our souls… on a far smaller scale of course… and without the more negative side effects.” He explained, before blinking in realization. “Ah, yes… you do remember that now, right Toriel?”

Toriel stared at him in confusion for a moment, about to shake her head no, but then she stopped to really think about it. As she did, she suddenly realized that she _did_ know what Asgore was talking about. It worked up through her hazy mind slowly, in pieces, and it was like she was viewing the memory through stirred up water. But it steadily settled and calmed, and then promptly became clear.

She could recall being in the swirling tempest of souls, all crying out and losing themselves in the utter chaos. She remembered being reduced to a shell of herself and pitted against her child, only able to feel emotions of great pain and heartache. She remembered summoning her flames against Frisk, only able to see them through a veil of distortion. And of course… she remembered how Frisk had brought her back to herself… how they had hugged her tight even in the face of her mindless aggression, and promised her that they’d see her again.

Just like back then, the memories were rushing back. Or rather, had already been returned. She remembered all of it, where before she surely only recalled waking up terribly disoriented after witnessing a blinding white flash. It felt so… disconcerting to suddenly be able to recall that event and the emotions associated with it. The impact of that nearly made her head swim all over again. She blinked her wide eyes a few times before meeting Asgore’s gaze again.

“Yes…” She croaked out, tone low with shock. “I… I do remember….”

Alphys nodded solemnly, and the others all gave Toriel sympathetic looks that indicated they understood exactly what she was feeling. The lizard monster didn’t give her much time to try and rationalize that fact though. Seeming keen on continuing with her explanation.

“Once Sans sh-shared his notes with me, I was able to f-figure out what was going on with you. His mistake w-was focusing more on the mathematical a-angle than on the inner workings of the soul itself and h-how they process memories.”

She paused briefly, offering a weak smile and waving a hand appeasingly, likely out of an effort not to discredit Sans with what was being said.

“H-he got close though, don’t get me wrong. Kn-knowing him, he would of had it if you had given him a f-few more days ehehe...”

Toriel didn’t laugh, but she did appreciate that Alphys was at least trying to lighten the mood. Toriel’s mind was simply far too occupied for her to spare much thought towards a joke. Her thoughts were surging, gears were turning, memories being picked over and dredged up. She was unaware that she had left everyone in a somewhat awkward silence, and had been holding her children closer to her. It wasn't until something about what Alphys had said suddenly occurred to her through her moments of processing that she became present again. She returned her gaze to Asgore, giving him an appraising look.

“What happened to me… it will happen to you too then… will it not?” She asked, hesitantly.

Alphys had made it clear that Toriel and Asgore were the outliers here, and would suffer far worse side effects upon learning the truth because of their many centuries of life and just how many memories they were set to regain. As complicated as her feelings towards Asgore continued to be… stirred up anew by some of the things she had grasped in that torrent of memories… she wouldn’t wish what had happened to her on anyone.

Asgore just smiled softly at her concern and shook his head.

“No, thankfully not. Thanks to Alphys.” He confirmed, nodding towards her.

Toriel looked back at Alphys with an openly confused expression, but to her relief, the lizard monster was quick to clarify.

“From wh-what I found and came to understand a-about the phenomena myself, I was able t-to come up with a way to induce e-everyone else’s memory regain in a far less… e-extreme way than what happened to you.” She explained with a somewhat apologetic smile. “Including Asgore. It w-was actually a rather simple machine to craft in the end once I had the idea nailed down.”

From beside Alphys, Undyne snorted and offered up an uneasy smile.

“Yah, it might have been better than what Toriel went through, but it still wasn’t exactly pleasant.” She commented, crossing her arms in front of her. “Having a weird computer-y helmet thing knock you out for an hour and then waking up with a million new memories in your head is… pretty intense. Especially when some involve…”

She paused, casting a heavy look at the sleeping children nestled up against Toriel’s shoulders. A few beads of sweat formed on her brow, and Toriel could see a vast array of emotions flashing through her eye. But after a moment, she drew herself up again and regained her smile, though it remained a bit weaker than usual.

“Well anyway, that’s all in the past now, heh.” She dismissed, even as her facial fins drooped. “But I think we’re all still trying to sort it all out for ourselves. That first week was really difficult, even for me.”

All three of them nodded in agreement with that, the exhaustion in all their eyes becoming quite apparent again. It was only then in the resulting lull left by that heavy statement that Toriel could begin to fully understand what had happened to her, to all of them.

The memories, _her_ memories, all of those stolen by the Resets or by relation to Gaster. They were all there in her mind now. It wasn’t as though she could think of them all at once, or even focus on one in particular for more than a few moments, but they were there. If she directed what little mental energy she possessed towards a particular memory, she’d find it. Just like she had with the memory of what happened with Asriel and the human souls. But otherwise, they did not overwhelm her like they had while she was unconscious.

They had all simply become part of her memories again, finding their place among all the others. Though due to the sheer volume of memories at hand… it felt like several lifetimes had been added to her already many centuries of life. Even for a being who had lived as long as she had, she suddenly felt far older than ever before.

A silent agreement seemed to settle over everyone for a bit after that, and they let Toriel have some time to just… process. Process and continue to cherish her children’s presence. She had no hope of comprehending the full scope of what had happened. Hell, sorting through the mountain of new memories could take a lifetime. But it was important for her to at least start the process. It was all she could do for now. So that is what she did, all the while absently stroking her sleeping children’s backs.

In the meantime, she had been vaguely aware of the others quietly talking to one another or messaging others on their phones, almost certainly about her. But she paid their activities little mind as she continued to try and begin making sense of her new mindscape. She wasn’t sure how much time had passed when she noticed Papyrus anxiously pacing next to her bed. He was muttering to himself as he stared at his phone and even biting at one of his gloved knuckles.

The sight was enough to trigger her nurturing instincts and to pull her from her reverie. She turned towards Papyrus when he circled back near her.

“My friend…” She rasped quietly, voice rough again from disuse. “What is tr-troubling you so?”

He stopped in his tracks, blinking down at her for a moment. He looked to be internally warring with himself on whether or not to put up a smile for her, but he eventually decided against that, deflating a bit with a sigh.

“ITS SANS…” He admitted, looking down at his phone in vexation. “H-HE HASN’T ANSWERED… BUT IF HE HAD SEEN THIS MESSAGE… SURELY HE WOULD BE HERE…”

He continued to fidget anxiously for a few moments, but then something seemed to occur to him and he did quickly try and work up a smile after all. As he did, he gave her shoulder a reassuring pat, though the conviction behind it was questionable.

“BUT D-DON’T WORRY TORIEL!” He attempted to reassure her. “I’M SURE THERE IS AN EXPLANATION. PERHAPS THAT LAZYBONES IS SIMPLY NAPPING AS HE ALWAYS DOES, OR MAYBE HE IRRESPONSIBLY LEFT HIS PHONE CHARGER BEHIND OR-”

His quickly derailing rambling was cut off when Toriel moved her paw to touch his arm, gaining his attention. She offered him a sad, but understanding smile.

“It is okay, my friend.” She rasped, voice weak but steady. “I… think I understand what sort of terrible thoughts may be going through that skull of his right now. I know he will come back, but he may need time before he feels ready to... face me again after what happened. I am sure he has become caught up in coming up with all sorts of horrible imagined scenarios due to his guilt. That silly bonehead…”

She looked down for a moment, eyes still heavy, but carrying the warmth of fondness as well. Her own emotions concerning the whole situation curled about her soul, as if searching for a weakness through which to invade and overwhelm her. But her statement held true, and so did her desire to comfort her friend, who she knew was taking this harder than he was letting on.

“I am sorry Papyrus, I know seeing him struggle and shut you out like this again must be hurting you terribly too.” She reasoned, hoarse voice attempting gentleness. “And… I am sure the things he has told you about what he has been through… and about your father… could not have been easy to deal with.”

Papyrus seemed surprised by her words, blinking at her with wide sockets as though her head had suddenly caught fire. When he snapped out of that initial reaction, he made a frustrated sound and brought his gloves up to his face.

“OH BLAST IT! TORIEL, YOU SHOULD NOT BE TRYING TO SHOWER YOUR ADMITTEDLY GREATLY APPRECIATED SYMPATHIES ON TO ME WHILE YOU ARE THE ONE IN A HOSPITAL BED!” He chastised her, before dropping his gloves with a huff and putting them on his hips. “MY BROTHER HAS BEEN WILLING TO ANSWER MY QUESTIONS TO THE BEST OF HIS ABILITY GIVEN HIS POOR MENTAL STATE, AND THE CHILDREN HAVE FILLED IN MANY HOLES FROM THERE. PLUS, MY FRIENDS, INCLUDING MY NEW FRIEND AND MY OLD FRIEND WHO ACTUALLY TURNED OUT TO BE A PRINCE FRIEND!, HAVE ALL BEEN HERE FOR ME AS WELL, AND WE HAVE BEEN WEATHERING THESE NEW REVELATIONS AND TURMOILS TOGETHER.”

With those words, he seemed to gain more confidence, puffing up and placing a hand against his chest.

“THAT IS WHY I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WILL BE JUST FINE. AND I FULLY BELIEVE ALL OF YOU WILL BE ALSO, INCLUDING YOU AND SANS!” He declared, gesturing dramatically as he did so, whilst his scarf seemed to catch some phantom wind. “SO WHILE WE WAIT FOR MY BROTHER’S RETURN, LET US ALL FOCUS ON HELPING TORIEL GET WELL AGAIN! I WILL FETCH SOME NUTRITIOUS LUNCH FOR US ALL AND RETURN HERE SO WE MAY EAT TOGETHER, WHO’S WITH ME?!”

His sudden dramatic speech had certainly gained everyone’s attention, and was starting to rouse the children from their napping. While they certainly didn’t appreciate the sudden loud voices, Undyne seemed to be all too fired up from the skeleton’s words.

“HELL YEAH! YOU BET I AM PAP!” She voice her quite loud agreement before she rushed over to tug on one of Asgore’s arms. “COME ON ASGORE, WE’LL NEED YOUR BIG BEEFY MARSHMALLOW ARMS TO CARRY EVERYTHING!”

The large boss monster seemed rather flummoxed at the sudden order, but carefully got to his feet.

“O-oh! Alright then… um…” He paused, casting a look back at Toriel and the now grumbling children nestled against her.

His expression softened with a mixture of fondness and amusement, and then somewhat hesitantly met Toriel’s eyes.

“I suppose the children should just stay here, yes?” He suggested, clearly fishing for her reaction.

Toriel smiled weakly back at him, but it was somewhat snarky. She quirked an eyebrow at him.

“What is that look for?” She asked, tone sarcastic. “Do you doubt my ability to look after my own children?”

Asgore actually chuckled at that, though it wasn’t completely without awkwardness.

“Haha… no, certainly not.” He assured, waving his free paw in a placating gesture before his eyes suddenly became heavy with emotion. “I am sure you are… just as overcome with joy at their return as I was… still am.”

At this point the children had both woken up enough to catch on to the nature of the conversation being had. They both remained silent as the words hung, but she could feel they were anticipating what she would say in response just as much as Asgore was.

As their beautiful pairs of red and green eyes looked up at her, she felt her weary soul tremble and her eyes stung with the start of tears. She couldn’t keep herself from nuzzling them both before looking back at her ex-husband.

“Yes… indeed.” She answered, wiping at her eyes with a trembling paw. “I suspect we will need to have talks of visiting and living arrangements once I am… less bedridden, will we not?”

Asgore blinked in surprise at that, and for a moment it seemed as though he would say something to express his shock at her offer and its implications. She had previously agreed to allow Frisk and Flowey to stay a week with Asgore as well as Undyne and Alphys every month when they could manage it. But this… changed things.

That original agreement came from Frisk’s request, and took some prodding and convincing for her to finally agree. But in this case, despite what her lingering irrational fears and insecurities might say, she had no right to keep her children from their father. He had likely been the one primarily caring for them in her absence anyway. No matter their broken past, she and Asgore would always be Chara and Asriel’s parents. Nothing would change that.

And Asgore seem to understand this. Rather than making a show of being shocked and thanking her for what she’d agreed to, he simply smiled a true smile and nodded with a newfound confidence.

“Of course, but do not worry about any of that for now.” He insisted, expression warm. “Just focus on resting and getting well again.”

Toriel didn’t reply other than to offer a nod in return, suddenly hit with a wave of sleepiness as though his words had willed it into existence. She heard Undyne and Asgore say something else, but it was lost in her momentary lapse. Thankfully it didn’t seem directed at her, judging from the one who replied.

“I n-need to stay here as well to monitor her.” Alphys chimed in, taking up her spot from before next to Toriel’s bed. “I’ll k-keep an eye on them too.”

Asgore managed to get out a thanks before Undyne dragged him into the hallway, but not before the fish monster leaned in and dramatically blew her girlfriend a kiss goodbye. A gesture that had Alphys quite orange in the face again. She and Chara giggled lightly at her expense, though for Toriel it was more sleepily so.

Despite the sudden feeling that she could sleep should she allow it, she was struck with the need to stay awake. To talk to her children, to spend every moment possible with them. She asked them simple things about how they had been getting by without her, if their substitute at the school had been up to standard, and how they were adjusting to their identities being revealed to everyone.

All the while, Alphys and a nurse, a pearlescent octopus monster, did another series of simple tests and checks on her. They also had her drink some mango flavored water of all things, just to see how her soul would react to gaining magic naturally through food and drink again.

It all went well, though unfortunately Alphys insisted they keep the IV inserted for the time being, just to ensure she stayed stable. That didn’t calm Toriel’s anxieties and discomfort in regards to it being there, but she conceded that Alphys knew best in this situation. It was ironic in a way, that the monster she had fired from being royal scientist was now the one tending to her as part of her new career direction.

Despite Alphys clear growing confidence in that regard, Toriel could tell something was bothering the lizard monster. But unlike with Papyrus it wasn’t as obvious, nor did Alphys pause in her work enough to allow Toriel a chance to ask her what was wrong. And during every lull, Alphys kept acting like she was going to stop and say something, but then giving up and busying herself with something else.

Eventually though, she and her children all seemed to catch on to the fact Alphys wanted to say something, and purposefully ceased their own discussion in order to give the lizard monster the chance to speak up. Alphys noticed this and flashed an uneasy smile, one paired with a surprising amount of heaviness in her reptilian eyes. She hesitated a long moment, and Toriel thought she may find some excuse to redirect their attention again. But after anxiously tapping her claws together for a bit, she did finally break her silence.

“S-so… u-uh… oh g-geez…” Alphys stuttered before forcing out all the words burning inside her upon her next breath. “About what h-happened with Flo-Asri-y-your son… I-I… I...”

She couldn’t go further, already becoming pale from what was said already. She covered her face with her hands and curled her tail around herself.

“I’m so… s-sorry…”

The words hung heavily in the air, rendering Toriel and her children silent. She searched her new memories for more clarification regarding what Alphys was talking about, as well as the one regarding what Flowey had told her of his origin before she had lost consciousness. Toriel was already exhausted, and when she shut her eyes briefly as she quietly sighed they nearly stayed shut. But the seriousness of the subject at hand demanded her attention and she eased them open again before facing the lizard monster.

“Alphys…It is alright... it is in the past now.” She murmured, managing a weak, but still deeply sad smile. “And though we both know your experiments with Determination were wrong and led to some horrible things… you were only trying to do what you could for monsterkind under the orders you were given. Perhaps if I had not abandoned my throne like I had, I could have been there to ensure you were never given those orders in the first place.”

Toriel turned then to look at Asriel, in the floral form he now was in. He still wore the face of his old self, including those brilliant green eyes that seemed to look into her very soul.

“And… despite everything that happened... it would be remiss of me to not thank you in some way… for bringing my son back to me, for giving him another chance in this world.” Toriel murmured, feeling tears gather in her weary eyes again.

Alphys blinked at her, looking stunned from what Toriel could see of her out of the corner of her eye. The color returned to her face and she looked as though she were trying to figure out what to say in return, when the subject of discussion piped up for himself.

“Yeah well, honestly, I wish I had stayed dead.” He snapped, baring his small fangs and looking away from all of them. “It would have been better for everyone, don’t even try to deny it!”

His harsh outburst seemed to carry some venom for Alphys in particular, and it caused all of them to flinch some. His words were so full of self hatred, and a kind of exhausted frustration that reminded her vaguely of her dear skeleton. No matter her own condition, she couldn’t stand for that kind of talk. She carefully moved a paw to cup his small head, cradling it as though it were the most delicate thing in the world. With the same great care, she tilted his head up to face her. And to her relief, he allowed it.

“My child, I… I know of your sins, and how grievous they truly are.” She said, voice heavy. “But I also know now that… you lack your full soul, and thus are unable to feel emotion and love like you used to. Like Frisk eventually did… you got caught up in a cycle of apathy and curiosity that spiraled out of control, even more so with how long you were in control of the timeline… and with how little of your morality you were able to hold on to. But just as I am able to forgive them, I can forgive you too.”

Her eyes hardened a bit, but not unkindly. They were burning with Determination, something that demanded the attention of all present.

“I do not believe you are soulless as you claim.” She declared, forcing more strength into her voice. “You clearly feel some level of emotion, you clearly are capable of caring for others, even if it is far more difficult for you. You would not have just stated that you wished you had not be revived for the sake of everyone else if that were the case, would you not?”

Asriel blinked up at her, processing what she was implying. Beside him, her human child nodded, and the lack of crimson in their eyes and their haste to speak using their hands told her who was currently present.

(She’s right) Frisk signed, directing the gestures towards Asriel. (I think something changed in you, when I SAVED you that day. Ever since that day… you’ve been different in small, but important ways, even as a flower. I think it left some sort of impact that you can grow from, even if you denied it or didn’t notice it right away.)

Despite Frisk’s compelling arguments, Asriel glowered at them incredulously. But a sweep across his fuzzy cheek from Toriel’s soft thumb directed his gaze back to her. She let her eyes communicate most of her emotions then, along with what must of been a great wave of them from her soul. After another moment though, she did go on verbally as well, keeping her voice gentle even when it threatened to shake.

“I believe with the right guidance… and l-love, you can leave the horrors you once wrought on others behind, and become a better monster. A happier, kinder, monster surrounded by love… the good kind this time. So long as you hold true to your vow to put forth the effort to try.”

Asriel still didn’t look convinced, but the anger that had been there before had also dulled considerably. He gave her a long look, one full of various emotions he probably would deny having. Then he released it all in a great sigh.

“Fine… I guess I can do that.” He relented with a grumble before looking between all three sets of watching eyes with a darker expression. “Just don’t expect for me to ever be… like _him_ again. It's not going to happen.”

There was another pause, then all three of them slowly nodded and Toriel swept her thumb over his cheek again in what she hoped was a comforting gesture. She was about to thank him for his willingness to continue on with the process of change, but the last thing he’d said had stuck out to her and was dominating her thoughts. She pondered it briefly, before feeling a twinge of painful guilt suddenly emerge.

“Asri-...” She stopped, catching herself and making a correction. “My son, I must ask… what… what do you wish to be called now? I know that choice must mean something to you.”

It was something she hadn’t considered. After the flower monster had revealed and proven himself to be Asriel, she had assumed he would have dropped his other persona and resorted back to his old name, what she understandably saw as his true name. But with the way he’d said those last few words… something told her she may be doing wrong by him for that.

Indeed, her son did seem conflicted. He let out another sigh after a period of brief reflection and staring out towards the large window to her left. It wasn’t until he faced her again did he give his answer, as well as look well and truly haggard. The sight clawed at her soul all over again, but she didn’t interrupt him as he began to present his thoughts on the subject.

“I don’t know…” He admitted, voice dull. “I don’t think I’m ready to go by my old name again… It just doesn’t feel right when i’m like… this. When I’m so… messed up. So… I guess I don’t mind if you slip up and call me Asriel sometimes, or want to talk about who I used to be... but I think I should just stay Flowey for now...”

He looked nervous as he spoke those words, as if expecting to be faced with a flurry of dissension from all sides. The sentiments expressed were surprisingly genuine, rather than buried under layers of hostility and sarcasm, and perhaps that was still a frightening prospect for him.

But none of the backlash he apparently feared came to pass. Frisk just offered a sad sort of smile, but one that was of support more than anything. And if Chara had any objections, they didn’t take control again in order to voice them. Toriel though just leaned down to gently nuzzle her child, an action he initially stiffened against, but then silently allowed, even leaning into it a bit after a few moments.

“Very well, sweetheart.” She agreed warmly. “No matter what you call yourself, or what form you take, you will always be my son.”

The assurance seemed to drain a great deal of tension from Flowey, relieved enough so that when she lightly stroked his cheek again, he fully relaxed into the action. When she met his beloved green eyes again, they had just the tiniest spark of warmth to them. It would be quite trivial to see from any other monster, but from him it was truly cause for joy.

“Okay… Thanks Mom…” He said, using the soft, sweet voice of his former self. “I’ll... try to believe I can get better…”

Toriel smiled a watery smile, shifting so she could pull Flowey close against her in a gentle hug. He still didn’t respond with the returned affection one might expect, but he didn’t argue against it either, and that was more than enough for now.

“That is all I can ask for.” She murmured, pouring her love into the words. “Thank you, my child.”

There was a brief silence then as she just held her child and allowed the joy of the moment settle over her. Only the sound of the monitor’s rhythmic beeping filled the room. It would certainly take some time to not accidentally call the flower monster by his old name, especially since it was so directly tied to her joy at his return, but she’d do it for his sake without question. So long as he and Chara were here with her again, she’d weather all the struggles their new lives brought with them, big and small.

“I’m guessing uh… that forgiveness goes for me too then?”

The voice broke the silence hesitantly, but nonetheless drew all eyes in the speaker’s direction. From where they sat on the bed beside her, she could see Frisk had once again given up control to Chara. It was the first fallen human’s scarlet eyes that stared back at her, reflecting a poorly restrained anxiety. Toriel responded first by pulling them close into their own one armed hug on her free side, letting one of her long ears fall over their head.

“Yes, of course Chara.” She said gently, as though it were without question.

Chara remained stiff though, biting their lip and clearly holding words back. After a moment though they settled against her and hid their face against her neck, a gesture they had done often after they’d first fallen into their lives.

“I should… I should apologize though… about… about the plan.” They said, the words muffled some by her fur. “My stupid plan to try and save you all back then. It was a terrible idea from the start. I wanted to be a martyr hero and see monsterkind freed. I thought it… w-would make me live up to what Dad always called me. But it all blew up in our faces and caused all the misery that happened after for you and Dad and everyone else. I was so stupid and selfish and-”

“Shhh…” Toriel stopped their ranting apologies before they could spiral further, nuzzling the side of their head and running a paw gently down their back.

“My child, it was not your fault.” She insisted, though her voice was becoming strained. “You… o-only wanted to see your family finally be fr-”

She had to pause, turning her head a bit to cough a few times. They were painful coughs too, and it wasn’t until they ceased did she realized how much her throat was hurting. She had been so caught up in speaking with her children about all these incredibly important things, things she never expected she’d ever get to actually settle, that she hadn’t paid any mind to how much she was pushing herself. Her body and mind had already been through hell whilst she was lost in those returning memories, and here she was trying to bounce back to her usual self mere hours after finally awakening.

A water bottle was pressed into her paw, and she took it gratefully and downed a few sips. She hadn’t thought much of the mango flavored water at first, but it was a blessing on her sore throat. While she drank her children eyed her anxiously, Chara and Frisk’s worry palpable in the pulses from what she know understood was their shared soul.

“G-guys… let her rest, okay?” Alphys insisted while Toriel was occupied. “I know there is a l-lot to talk ab-about. But right now is n-not the best time for it.”

But Toriel shook her head once she had finished with the water and had taken a few steadying breaths to ensure her voice would be even again.

“No no, it is okay… I will be okay… J-just give me a second…” She said in a quieter tone, handing the water bottle back to Alphys. “Thank you”

Her head was swimming a bit, but after leaning back into the pillow behind her the sensation seemed to level off. Next to her, Chara sat up with Flowey in tow. She was surprised then, when her human child reached over to kindly stroke the fur on her head. It was clearly meant to be a sincere sympathetic gesture, but Toriel couldn’t help but find it a little amusing too. She let them do it though, for it did feel nice regardless.

“It’s alright Mom… Alphys is right, you need to rest.” Chara said, managing a weak smile of their own. “We can talk about it when you are feeling better.”

Toriel let out an exaggerated sigh at that, feigning dramatic defeat. She let her tired eyes become half lidded, and shot both her children a warm smile.

“Alright then sweetheart.” She conceded, laying back against the pillows again. “Though If I am being truthful… I am not sure I could rest easily until I see Sans again…”

The mention of Sans brought unease back to her children’s faces, and the two shared a meaningful look. She could see both were dealing with an inner conflict on the subject of her dear skeleton, and the fact that she was so tired was clearly not helping that fact. But after she tilted her head a bit at the two of them questioningly, they seemed unable to hold back.

Before either spoke though, she witnessed Chara and Frisk once again switch places. Every other time this had happened, she hadn’t been looking to see it. It wasn’t as mystifying or extreme as one might expect. Truly all that really displayed the change were the child’s eyes. Chara’s somewhat unnaturally wide eyes that stretched Frisk’s narrow eye shape softened to their usual relaxed state, and the bright crimson color of their iris faded back to the usual soft brown.

There were other minor tells between the two as well, such as slight posture differences and the way the two smiled, but overall the process was quick enough that one could easily miss it. It was still somewhat unnerving for her to witness, and her mind already was stockpiling anxious thoughts regarding how exactly things worked between the two of them, but given that it meant Chara was once again part of her life, she wouldn’t voice any complaint for the moment.

Once Frisk was fully back in control, they raised their hands to sign to her, still carrying a worry of their own in their expression. Though it was a worry not directed towards their own situation.

(Mom… I don’t think Sans is… okay.) They signed, guilt and sadness passing over their eyes. (When we both told everyone about everything after you were taken to the hospital… After he didn’t have an answer for what was happening to you… He was so… so…)

“Creepy?” Flowey supplied dryly, leaning his head on a leaf.

Frisk shook their head, looking ever sadder by the second.

(No… more like… empty.) They clarified, and the choice of words made Toriel inwardly wince.

She couldn’t help but be taken back to when Sans had used that very word to describe himself after he had his breakdown. He had been so hollow then, so withdrawn and unsure how to face his own turbulent emotions without his usual walls. It was little surprise that sharing his secrets with all the others would put him in such a state again… if not worse. Her soul ached terribly, but she forced herself to pay attention as Frisk continued to sign.

(He talked with hardly any emotion in his voice… even about the things that happened to him personally.) They went on. (It was like he was just a robot going through the motions. He didn’t even seem as sad as he should have been about the situation. And the weirdest part was… I never saw him eat, drink or even nap since he started spilling the truth.)

Flowey nodded from his place in Frisk’s arms, eyes narrowing a bit in thought.

“Judging from how he looks when he does decide to make an appearance, I wouldn’t be surprised if he hasn’t done any of those things since that day. Skeletons can probably survive that somehow.” He noted before wrinkling his muzzle. “He certainly doesn’t smell like he’s bathed, I can tell you that much.”

Flowey said the words with a touch of his usual harsh tone, but he caught himself and shot Toriel an at least somewhat apologetic glance before looking down. Her soul certainly wasn’t at all soothed from what she was hearing. She looked over at Alphys for confirmation, part of her hoping the lizard monster would counter the claims or at least give some input that would soften the seriousness of what was being implied. But Alphys could only nod with another sorrowful look that emphasized the new weight in her eyes.

Toriel’s soul felt like it was being squeezed inside her as she pictured Sans, who had been doing so much better, in such dire straits. Mixed with all the new memories of him that she now had, flirting in and out of the edges of her mind, she found it harder than ever to keep her composure. In the end, perhaps it was only her great exhaustion that kept her from weeping for her beloved’s sake. The claws of one of her paws once again curled just above where the needle entered her soul.

“I see…” She finally rasped out, closing her weary eyes briefly against the sting of tears before opening them again. “Well, I am certain seeing this happen to me was a tremendous blow to him. And then to have to again tell everyone the secrets he has carried that he struggled to even tell me... He is likely falling back on old habits in order to cope with such an inordinate level of stress… Perhaps even backsliding further…”

Imagining what that could mean for him only made her soul hurt more, and she had to take a steadying breath to settle her emotions as best she could. Then she looked to her children again, subconsciously searching their eyes for what was stirring in their own souls.

“Did you two… Chara and Flowey I mean, did you ever make an effort to apologize to him, for what transpired in the past between you?” She asked, curling her claws a little tighter to her chest against a new wave of pain.

The children again shared an uneasy look, sweat visibly forming on their brows. Though it seemed to be a more reluctant act this time, Chara returned to control Frisk’s body and looked over at Toriel nervously with their bright crimson eyes.

“Well…” They began softly in their layered voice, rubbing one of Flowey’s petals between their fingers. “Not personally to him exactly but... “

They trailed off, growing a little pale with a conflicted expression. Even with her newly returned memories, Toriel could only imagine what they were recalling to cause that. She hardened her deeply eyes some in her usual maternal fashion. The same way she would when she had to lecture them for far lesser misdoings over a century ago.

“I think you should make an effort to do that.” She rasped before directing her gaze at Flowey in particular. “Especially you, my son. I believe it is necessary for both of you to begin properly healing in that regard. He may very well not truly forgive you for what you did to torment him personally, but I would encourage you to offer that apology regardless. I know you all have much to work through in light of this, but that would be a good place to start.”

With that, her eyes drifted towards the makeshift cot beneath the large window adorned with get well gifts. She couldn’t help but imagine him curled up there at night, across from her unconscious form, despising himself for what he had unintentionally done to her. Her imaginings also drifted into thoughts of all he had told her to bring about this unseen misfortune. All the terrible things he never thought she’d believe. Now most of them were part of her own memories as well, giving her more understanding of the full gravity of the events of timelines past than she ever could have imagined. Including the timelines where...

A flash of terribly violent images surged through her weary mind briefly, flaring up phantom pains along her cheek and stomach. It also summoned up the image in her mind of that horrific scar that ran across Sans’ ribcage. She knew not if that had been among the things he had shared with the others, though she personally doubted it. Nonetheless, it was an image that forced out more words she knew needed to be said.

“I too have… a lot I need to think about.” She declared quietly, without looking away from the window. “I must reconcile the fact that… all this time… my children have been the ones responsible for his suffering. The pain that I saw in him… the pain that I so deeply wanted to help free him from… was a pain I was more deeply connected to than I could have ever imagined. And yet… he still trusted me with it all in the end, the very mother of his tormentors. He still… fell in love with me.”

Despite everything, that sentiment brought a light blush back to her face, and a small bit of warmth to her weary soul. Though it clearly weighed heavily on her children, who she knew certainly did not need to be further reminded of their sins at this point. The words had been far more for herself, to settle how she would approach things going forward.

“Tch, that’s some twisted kind of luck or… fate or whatever there, Mom.” Flowey commented with a weak attempt at levity, breaking the brief silence. “Though it sounds the all the pieces of this puzzle are aligning a bit too conveniently for my taste.”

Flowey looked up at Chara, likely expecting his sibling to play off his sarcasm like usual. But Chara’s was staring off into the middle distance, as though they hadn’t heard anything that was said. Rather than return their brother’s banter, they looked at Toriel with eyes that reflected their own exhaustion and guilt.

“Do you… really think things can ever be okay?” They asked, seeming to carry both cynicism and a spark of hope all at once in their tone.

Though the action hurt some through everything else weighing down her, she was able to tap into the small amount of warmth in her soul and work up a smile.

“I do, my child.” She assured them, with a deep sincerity. “For it is like Flowey said… everything is falling into place now… some pieces are still broken, and won’t fit like they used to, but that does not mean they cannot be mended with time.”

Chara blinked at that, even quirking an eyebrow at her odd metaphor, but slowly they were able to return her smile, softening up their whole expression. Flowey smiled too, but his was more of an amused smirk. He rolled his eyes and lightly booped the end of her muzzle with a vine.

“You’re loopy Mom.” He said, and she dared to think she heard some true fondness in his voice. “Go back to sleep already, at least until the others get back.”

It was an order she had no real ability to oppose, as it summoned back the full weight of her exhaustion. There was still so much more to discuss, so much more to do, more than she could even hope to properly fret over. But her soul and body’s ability to stay awake was long burnt out, enough so that not even her usual insomnia could hope to keep her up much longer.

There was a part of her at that moment that truly feared falling asleep again, worried it would mean being thrown back into that nightmarish torrent of memories. But there was no stopping it, so she’d just have to trust Alphys and her own gut instincts.

She allowed her heavy eyelids to sink until only a small sliver of her scarlet eyes were visible, peering out at Chara and Flowey with a sleepy fondness.

“Very well… but please do think about what I said, my children.” She insisted, trying to work some authority into her fragile voice.

A huge yawn escaped her as she settled more comfortably against the pillows, displaying her fangs prominently for a few moments. As her mouth shut again, she found her eyes doing the same, and she couldn’t find the strength to open them again. She could tell Alphys was also lowering the bed angle a bit to better allow her to fully lay down again. Still, there was no way she was going to allow herself to drift off before saying the words she’d always wished she’d been able to tell them the night before they had left her world. No way she was going to ignore just how blessed she truly was.

“I love you all… so very much.” She crooned, just above a whisper.

The last thing she heard were the voices of her three children returning those words to her, even Flowey. That allowed her to let sleep overtake her again with a smile. Her last conscious thought though... was that of Sans, hoping he would be there when she woke again.

\-----

The others did not wake her for some time, even after they had come back with the food. All the while she slept, she had not one dream. Her mind and body were so exhausted... as if she had not gotten any sleep at all those weeks she spent caught up in the tempest of her memories. And now, she lacked the energy to conjure up even the vaugest dreamscape.

When she was awoken, the sun was sinking low in the sky, marking itself as a sliver of brilliant orange against the horizon. But her wish from before had not been granted… her dear skeleton was still nowhere to be found. Even if that fact cut her, she didn’t despair. Papyrus had indicated that despite his daily disappearing acts, he had always returned here to her side once night fell, had he not?

She had eaten the meal they’d fetched her, a simple turkey and cheese sandwich and a small cup of yogurt. The food was nothing special, likely just the usual fare from the hospital kitchen, but to her depleted soul, it tasted delectable. Her soul seemed to realize it was it the first food she’d eaten in weeks, and savored every bit of the magic gained from it.

All the while everyone sat with her and continued to do their bests to keep her spirits up by offering blessedly distracting conversation. Most of it she wasn’t even a part of, she simply watched her group of friends turned family engage in their usual banter along with her children. It was all she had needed then after facing something so harrowing, just a small reminder that, despite the millions of questions and implications still left unaddressed, everything would be alright.

But eventually, visiting hours at the hospital came to an end and they all had no choice but to leave her. Even Alphys was convinced to go home and rest, assured by that same octopus nurse from before that Toriel would be in good hands. Her children though had been the most difficult to be convinced to leave. Chara protested openly, and the more open emotion to their voice told her that it was likely a prospect Frisk agreed with and was fueling with their own upset. With Flowey it was more subtle, simply listing off morbid what ifs in an effort to convince her and the others that she couldn’t be left alone. And all the while, one of his vines had curled tightly around her wrist in a perhaps subconscious effort to hold on to her.

Even their opposition was quashed in the end though, with Asgore and the others giving them plenty of reassurances until they finally allowed him to pick them both up. Toriel had assured them she would be fine as well… but she would be lying to say she was taking their leaving well. She had only just got them back after _so long_... she would be lying if there wasn’t some irrational side of her that wanted to beg Asgore and the others to not take them from her. Some side of her that screamed that if they walked out that door, they’d disappear from her life again. But her mindfulness won out, and though it made her soul ache, she stayed quiet and watched them go. Though not before squeezing them both tight and kissing their foreheads in farewell.

Then just like that, after another short check up from the octopus nurse, Toriel found herself utterly alone in her hospital room. Yet the unease that idea brought along with the lingering ache from her children’s departure were lessened by the fact that had given her hope earlier. It was also one of the ideas that the adult monsters had used to convince the children to go with them.

They all had a feeling that leaving Toriel alone was the only way a certain someone would finally show up.

Though for a while after everyone had gone, there continued to be no sight of him. It went on that way long enough that she began to lose hope. Long enough that world outside became utterly dark, leaving her room much the same aside the from the somewhat eerie glow of the hospital machines. But then, her powerful ears caught a noise in the far corner of the room, near the gift adorned window and cot. It sounded like a faint crackle of electricity mixed with a faint whoosh of wind. If one wasn’t listening for it, or lacked her sensitive hearing, they very well could have missed it.

It was a sound she recognized, and it made her soul swell within her as she looked over in that direction. She couldn’t see him well at all, but she could tell he was there from the dull lights of his eyelights cutting through the darkness.

“I thought you might wait to come here until I was alone.” She said, carefully easing her sore body into a sitting position on the bed.

Sans didn’t move, and the eyelights vanished as his sockets no doubt went dark. There was a long few seconds where her statement hung, searching for a response, but found none from the skeleton in the shadows.

“Please my dear… do come out.” She implored softly, feeling tears sting her eyes. "I have missed you so terribly.”

The dark shape that was Sans shifted anxiously, clearly unsure of what to do and still startled by being spotted so quickly. She could hear the ever so faint sound of his bones rattling as he trembled. Toriel’s watery eyes softened in sympathy and she sat up a little more to better address him.

“I know you must be feeling deeply conflicted about what happened.” She said hesitantly. “I can scarcely imagine how stressful and painful these last few weeks have been for you whilst I was unconscious.”

She used a shaky paw to rub at her eyes, feeling the enormity of all that had happened weighing down on her yet again. She still managed a smile in his direction though, even as her soul ached with yearning to hold him in her arms again.

“We have much to talk about in light of all this… that much is true. But it can wait.” She insisted, the beseeching tone entering her voice once more. “For now… all I truly want is to see you again love.”

Another long silence apart from the quiet rattling of bones passed, and Toriel was about to try again to convince him to come out. But then, slowly, the dark shape in the corner moved forward. He stepped into the moonlight from the window, and she could finally see him in more clarity. It was a sight that tore at her soul.

He looked far too much like he had during that timeline he’d come to live with her in the Ruins. Utterly defeated and near lifeless, showing only dull hints of outward emotion. His sockets still displayed nothing but blackness, darker than the night sky outside, and the heavy shadows under them only furthered how very beaten down by everything he was. He looked like he had been through his own personal hell all over again, all whilst she had been laying in this bed unable to do anything to help him. The thought made her feel sick with worry.

And yet, beyond all that, she could tell there was still a hesitant, almost fearful joy within him too. A joy he almost couldn’t bear to let manifest further, too terrified of having it ripped away again. She imagined that he must be feeling something akin to how she felt when she realized the truth of Asriel and Chara’s return. An overwhelming happiness, but one he feared was only a dream.

He finally forced himself to teleport the rest of the short distance to her bedside. Toriel’s soul lept as he did, and she couldn’t stop herself from moving to meet him. She wanted to hug him immediately, layering on a million words of comfort. But instead, she found all she could do for that moment was reach forward and lightly cup his cheekbone with a paw as her eyes wandered his haggard face. He didn’t protest, but he continued to lightly tremble and didn’t seem sure whether to believe what was in front of him or not.

Amongst all the mixtures of sorrow and warmth that the sight of him brought her, she also happened to notice that his scar from before was completely gone. It was silly, inconsequential thing to take note of in such a circumstance, yet it remained to be another detail that further spurred her burning emotions.

“Oh Sans…” She croaked, feeling the first few tears break free and slide into her fur. “Come here love, come here.”

She brought him into her arms and pulled him up onto the bed, holding his small frame tight to her chest. Her claws even itched to extend just to ensure he didn’t get swallowed back up into the shadows again, but she managed to keep such instincts at bay. The action didn’t appear to surprise him at all, and also seemed to flip a switch inside him. He returned the hug with a sudden strength that didn’t match at all the broken skeleton she’d seen just a few moments ago. He must be putting his all into it, fueled by desperation to prove she was truly there.

She adjusted to hold him better and paid no attention to the dull pain from the IV all the shifting caused. She just cradled him close and wept silently for anything and everything, pressing the side of her face into his hoodie. His soul reached out to hers, clinging to her magic just as fiercely as he was clinging to her body. Her own magic responded in turn, soothing and reassuring and enveloping with warmth. For a while that was all either of them could manage, and they just held each other whilst the machine continued its rhythmic beep beside them.

It was some time before he broke the silence, but only loud enough for her ears alone. At first it was only with a weak sob, a further sign of his apathy cracking, but then the words came as well.

“i’m so sorry…” He croaked out, tone wholly saturated with guilt and other tormented emotions.

Toriel squeezed him tighter and shook her head, running a paw in a circle over his back.

“Shhh… please. None of that. Not now.” She pleaded, able to keep her voice level despite her own tears. “You are forgiven love, for all of it. You could not have known this would happen, and you certainly did not ask to be afflicted with this unimaginable burden that you have had to carry alone for so long. I would do it all again in a moment, even now.”

He heeded her and quieted at that, but did not lessen his grip or stop softly weeping into her neck and shoulder. His soul felt so very agonized and weary as its waves of magic met her own, she briefly wondered if he had lost the small amount of HP gain he’d managed before along with his other progress. The idea was nearly too painful to consider, so she just simply focused on soothing him in the moment, pushing the other million concerns away for now. No matter what had happened with him while she was out, she was here now and she would not let him slip any further.

“And as for everything else, I understand love. I know you have been suffering.” She assured him. “Just please, please do not hide away anymore. Stay here so that we may all heal from this together. I know that facing everyone now that they all have been burdened with the truth is greatly daunting, but we all love you so dearly Sans... everyone worries for you, especially your brother…”

His breath hitched a bit at that, bringing on another wave of tears. But that small spark of further emotion from him only pushed her to pressing the issue further.

“He needs you right now to help him learn to cope with all this, we all do, you know that.” She reminded him, though still in a voice as gentle as could be, as though she were talking to a small child.

She could tell he didn’t want to discuss this, all he wanted to do was cling to her and shut out everything else in order to focus on the fact that she was awake at long last. But it all had to be said, along with countless other things all begging to be voiced and addressed. This was at least a start though, and a very important one. Once he’d calmed himself some again, he spoke once more while pressing his face harder against her.

“i know…” He rasped out sorrowfully. “i just… i can’t st-stand the way he…” He paused as a violent shudder passed through him.. “tori… his eyes… everyone’s… they all look so broken…”

The skeleton drew in a shuddering breath at that, curling up tighter in her embrace as though that would somehow make him disappear. Thankfully, he didn’t utilize his actual ability for such an act, just held on to her all the tighter as his harsh emotions continued to bubble to the surface.

“i never wanted anyone else to deal with any of this… especially not him. and you… tori i… i could h-have _killed_ you.” He said through another weak sob, voice rising a bit with those last two words. “i… really thought y-you were going to die t… or were going to be st-stuck in some damn eternal coma.”

A strained, humorless laugh escaped him through a few tearful wheezes. He began to shiver violently enough to bring back the rattle of his bones even in her embrace.

“i-it was the first time i… actually feared that frisk _wouldn’t_ reset.” He admitted. “that you’d d-die because of my stupidity and that would never be undone. y-you’d be gone, forever.”

Toriel’s soul gave a harsh pang at that, enough to nearly make her wince. It wasn’t at all a surprise that he’d think such things in light of all this… but it still hurt. It was yet another new way the Resets could torment him, as if he needed anything further for that. She steadied herself quickly as best she could. Weak as she was, she still needed to ensure she was there for him through this. He obviously hadn’t spoken freely about the emotions he’d been dealing with since she’d fallen unconscious based on what the others had said, and they were all things that needed to be expressed.

“I understand dear.” She assured him, feeling more tears of her own escape her eyes as she did so. “I understand… But what is done is done, my love. I do not regret a thing, just as I said.”

He didn’t reply to that right away, just took a few moments to try and calm himself. Until his shivering lessened some and his breathing began to even out. Only then did he let out another hoarse chuckle against her neck, far softer than the last.

“heh... it’s all such a damn mess.” He croaked, coughing once before going on. “i spent so long hating and fearing the resets more than anything, b-but suddenly i couldn’t stand the idea of them not b-being an option any more.”

A particularly severe shiver shook through him then with a hollow rattling sound, and he deflated a bit in her arms.

“i really am h-hopeless, huh?”

The words were more rhetorical or to himself than something he expected a reply to. But she gave one regardless, determined not to let such thoughts consume him.

“Certainly not.” She said, with just enough firmness to be effective. “It is only natural you would find everything that has happened terribly hard to deal with, especially in light of how it all unfolded. This would have shaken anyone’s progress in healing. I assure you dear, you are not hopeless, and you are far from beyond help. And neither are the others.”

Though her soul still ached and her eyes still stung from offending tears, she managed a small smile then and felt her soul’s magic drift into a more positive direction.

“We all have more to be hopeful for now than ever before, my dear.” She reminded him quietly. “Our worlds have changed by this revelation, yes. But I believe having this deception gone will be for the best in the end, and eventually lead to a far brighter future for us all.”

Once more, Sans had no quick response to offer, clearly picking over every word that had been offered him carefully. But it was not the point she had brought up that he addressed then, rather, it seemed to suddenly bring more awareness to the miserable skeleton in her arms. He calmed a little further, and when he let out another hoarse wheeze of laughter, it sounded just a bit more real.

“sheesh... even bedridden in hospital you still have a w-way with words, heh.” He noted, sniffling as he finally lessened his grip some, just enough to sit back a little and see her. “here i am blubbering on about all this when i should be taking care of you. i mean stars, you basically just woke up from a coma.”

She hummed thoughtfully at that, looking over his face now that she could see it better. He still didn’t look like the happier, more vibrant skeleton Sans had been on his way to becoming, but certainly better than before. He met her eyes and wiped his own before casting a guilt laden look at her bandaged chest in particular, where the needle was inserted. What it represented cut him deep and she wondered for a moment if he would shut down again. But instead he seemed compelled to reach forward and rest his bony hand on her cheek, his returned eyelights fuzzy with concern and stress most prominently.

“are you feeling alright? sh-should i get you anything?” He asked, clearly all but desperate to be of any sort of help at this point.

Toriel’s weak smile warmed at that, but she shook her head. She ghosted a paw forward and cradled his cheekbone in return, sweeping at a fresh tear track with her thumb.

“I am fine, my dear.” She assured him, eyes gaining a few tears again. “All I truly want right now is to be with you.”

He blinked at that, then he allowed himself to lean into her touch and the edges of his mouth softened into the closest thing to a real smile she’d seen from him for... a while. The response from his soul was just as promising, giving off its first lighter pulse to pair with his smile.

“y-yah… same here.” He admitted before quickly throwing his arms back around her neck and hugging her tight.

She accepted the action, shifting him some so she could cradle him more easily and just savor the feeling of holding her dear skeleton. Even with how clearly lost and tormented he was, his presence alone was enough to calm some of the terrible fear and confusion that had been plaguing her since she first awoke. She had felt like she had been drowning in all these new memories that suddenly occupied her mind, along with having to come to terms with the fact that she had lost an entire month of her life. And things that had transpired during that time were nearly too weighty to grasp.

But having him here, feeling his soul’s familiar magic share with her own, it soothed her, just as he always seemed to have a knack for doing. And judging from what she could feel from his soul, she knew it must be the same for him, if not even more so.

They sat like that for a long time, the beeping of the heart monitor being the only significant sound in the room aside from an occasional audible shiver from Sans. Their souls did the talking then, sharing in their usual silent communication. Eventually though, the insurmountable number of thoughts and questions came bubbling back up to the surface like the rising magma within Mt. Ebott. It spilled over into words, things she’d been dying to discuss with him more than any other.

“I… remember now… all of those timelines we shared and lost.” She croaked out hesitantly, breaking the silence. “It is difficult for me to grasp it all… or to sort it out with any sort of certainty within my mind… but it is there. I can recall now our true first meeting… the timelines where you joined me in the Ruins… those rare ones in which we were allowed to taste freedom before being brought back… seemingly endless snippets of of shared jokes through the door… It... It is all there”

She met his gaze, the weight of all of that, and more, clear in her exhausted ruby red eyes.

"And… I now remember Gaster…”

Those words had to be all but forced out, her fear at further upsetting him wanting her to keep her mouth shut. But he had to know. If she focused, she could now pick through her first encounters with the ancient skeleton, through the time he served them as the royal scientist and even the last interaction she had had with him before the death of her children, and her subsequent leaving of the throne. All memories that turned the magic in her soul at how… normal he’d seemed, far more a victim than the cruel monster he eventually became.

To her surprise though, Sans didn’t react to that fact as much as she had expected. His eyelights had momentarily shrunken a bit, but they returned to form a pensive expression as he pondered what to say in return. Oddly, he settled on offering her a weary grin, though his eyelights and the tear tracks on his face betrayed the full gravity of the situation.

“makes you feel pretty old, huh?” He asked simply, in a surprisingly level voice. “and tired…”

She blinked at that, then softened her own expression a bit. She couldn’t quite smile, but she was grateful for the levity he tried to offer regardless. It soothed her as it always did, and gave her just a little bit more assurance that even after all this, he would be okay in time. They both would, even if everything seemed so very gripped by chaos at the moment. In all honesty, they should be discussing the cavalcade of new memories she now had regarding Sans’ father, regarding everything and how they would change things between them and all the others going forward. But for now, she was content to accept his effort to gently sweep it aside.

She brushed her muzzle against the top of his skull before letting it settle there, allowing her to breathe in his familiar scent.

“Perhaps.” She admitted, feeling her eyelids droop a bit. “But more so… it helps me to understand you better. It makes me feel terribly guilty for all my cluenesses in regards to what you were going through, no matter how unavoidable it was… But most of all, it makes me feel closer to you, and reminds me of just how much I love you. How lucky I truly am to have been able to meet you with all the chaos that secretly governed our world.”

With that, the emotion swelling from her soul increased and she was struck with the compulsion to express her affections more directly. Thankfully Sans too seemed to share in such feelings, shifting in the aftermath of her clumsy rush of words to cup her cheek in his hand again. He kept it there as he turned to meet her eyes again, searching hers for a confirmation they were on the same wavelength.

He found it quickly, and the two of them shared in one of their unique kisses for a few moments. It was something that clearly meant even more to Sans than to her, seeing as he hadn’t been partaking in such things the weeks she’d spent unconscious. It helped reignite his magic in a way, making his soul’s pulses far more bright and vibrant as both their souls reacted to the closing of the distance between them. For her it was a sensation that brought a twinge of pain from the needle, and it made the machine beside her momentarily grow a bit more erratic in its beeping, but she disregarded that for the moment.

Their souls felt even more in sync than before, as though their shared knowledge of the timelines past was somehow reflected in their souls. They lingered in that kiss for some time, holding each other close. It was long enough that her lungs were what drove her to finally pull away and meet his gaze again, red eyes shining. She had to draw some air back into her lungs before she could speak again.

“Sorry if that was a bit sudden love…” She said shakily, managing a small smile. “I… just felt I would be re _kiss_ to pass up such an ideal opportunity.”

Sans seemed to become frozen at that, his heart shaped eyelights giving another sparkle before he blinked and returned them to normal. The dusting of blue on his face didn’t fade as her pun sank in, and he covered his face whilst beginning to tremble again. Though this time, with laughter. It was such a joy to hear that from him, hoarse and weak as it was. She joined him in a light giggle of her own too, unable to keep herself from following his lead. They both rode the wave of shared hilarity until their could regain composure, and when they looked back to one another, both of them had tears blurring their vision again, despite the smiles that remained.

“heh... n-nah, i was h-hoping you would want to…” Sans said with a sniffle, wiping his sockets with the heel of his hand. “geez… i m-missed you so much tori. i don’t think i’ve actually made a pun since the... incident.”

She hummed thoughtfully at that, rubbing at her own eyes. Once she could see clearly again, she made a bit of a show of placing a paw on her chest as though shocked by his words.  
“Well, we certainly cannot have that, can we not?” She asked in an attempt at a playful tone. “Come now my love, give me your best shot. I believe it will help you feel a little better.”

His grin tightened a bit at that, and his gaze drifted down and away as he fiddled indecisively with one of his hoodie’s drawstrings. After taking a steadying breath though, he looked up at her again.

“alright tori, i’ll try.” He conceded with a nervous chuckle. “just go easy on me, i’m pretty rusty.”

He narrowed his sockets a bit in thought, then widened them again as inspiration seemed to hit. With a hint of mischievous in his weary eyelights raised a hand to gently tap twice against her muzzle.

“knock knock.” He said, though not with his usual confidence.

She smiled wider regardless and wrinkled her nose a bit at him before answering.

“Who is there?” She asked, returning his gesture by giving him a sort of soft headbutt.

The act seemed to momentarily send his thoughts off track, but he managed to keep going after another wonderful wheezy chuckle and renewed blush.

“nobel” He said through a chuckle.

“Nobel who?” She replied back, scarlet eyes shining with amusement and affection.

“no _bel_ , that’s why i knocked.” He delivered the punchline with a shrug of his shoulders and another nervous smile as he waited for her reaction.

It was a simple one, but it nonetheless caused some warm giggles to escape her. That seemed enough to summon up a stronger grin from him.

“pretty sure i’ve used that one before…” He said, fiddling with his hoodie string again. “i kinda stink at my usual routine now.”

Once the humor of the wonderfully bad pun released her, she gave him a reassuring nuzzle.

“Well regardless, I quite like it. It was very nostalgic for me.” She said without hesitation. “And you do not “stink”, my dear.”

She was going to say more on that fact, but the repeat of his words in her usual formal way of speaking made him chuckle right back.

“heh, now _that’s_ a joke tori.” He insisted, shifting inward self consciously. “to be honest, i’ve not exactly been… keeping up with stuff like that like i should have. i probably smell like a sweaty corpse right about now… if that’s a thing.”

His choice of words was amusing certainly, but the hidden weight behind them was not lost on her. It was a mere hint of the true enormity of his lack of self care in her absence. She was again faced with a choice of discussing that further, or trying to preserve the genuineness of the smile on his face. Seeing what a rare treasure that true smile must be in light of all that had happened though, she chose the latter.

“Mmm… I suppose it could be a thing in the correct circumstance.” She mused, tapping a claw against her chin. “But perhaps that smell is still better than a shaggy old goat who possibly has not showered in nearly a month.”

The comeback brought about the reaction she was looking for. He let out another tired, wheezy chuckle and affectionately pressed his face against her neck. He made a show of inhaling deeper than before, pulling in air through his nasal cavity. The sensation tickled a bit, and made her flinch some with a light giggle. She felt about as far from her old royal self as she could be in that moment

“nah, even if it was, i think i’m immune at this point. though that may just be me being _scent_ -i-mental.” He quipped. 

The pun was improvement from his last, a sign he was already beginning to claw his way back up from the low he’d fallen into in the wake of all this. He seemed to know this too, and in their usual fashion, the very way they had first grown close to one another, they both began to laugh at his joke even more so than before. They leaned into each other, held each other tight and just gave into their shared love for terrible jokes, and their shared love for one another. A love that had not faded at all it seemed even in the most despairing of circumstances. Circumstances that would inevitably all need to be addressed and dealt with in time.

She had said before that they both had a lot of healing to do, but now that statement applied to their whole family. But nonetheless, in that moment, laughing with him once again over their beloved cheesy puns as though nothing had changed… she had hope that such healing truly was attainable for everyone. Maybe not soon, maybe not even for a long time... But the possibility was there, and so long as that was the case, she was sure they’d all reach it in their own time. All of their worlds had now been shaken to their cores, but they had all stayed determined.

Despite everything, they were all still themselves. This hadn’t and wouldn’t destroy them. And going forward, they could all face this great struggle, together. Working towards a new and perhaps unrecognizable future, but one they now could truly depend on.

She and Sans slipped into a peaceful sleep that night in her hospital bed, perhaps the first they’d both shared in weeks, and waited for the new day to come.


	34. Sunset

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So it comes to a close. 
> 
> (See the end for more in-depth thoughts and feelings) 
> 
> ((Warnings: Alcohol use))

Brilliant red and orange shafts of sunlight shone down on Toriel, casting her form in dappled shadows. Leafy tendrils above her waved in the gentle evening wind, causing a faint rustling that, along with sleepy birdsong, were the only sounds to be heard. Or more accurately, the only sounds Toriel chose to focus on.

In truth, her sensitive ears couldn't help but pick up the deep bass of music coming from her home, along with the many cheerful voices of the humans and monsters inside and spilling out onto the front porch. Many were laughing, dancing and just generally making merry. Her chosen place of refuge was slightly elevated, allowing her a decent view of the festivities below. Though the great dome of leaves around her blocked much of it, Toriel could still make out a great number of familiar faces through the openings.

Friends, family, her coworkers at the school, some of her students with their parents, even a handful of the regulars from Grillby's bar... They flashed by in and out of her vision… not unlike the stream of memories she'd been subjected to, and was, ironically, trying to forget.

Not the memories themselves. No, as truly terrible as some of them were, and as much as they bore down on her soul, she was grateful for the truth to finally be known to her. But the experience of reliving those memories, and especially the aftermath, were all things she wanted nothing more than to block out of her mind. But like any of her traumas, such a thing would not come easily, nor quickly.

She sighed softly and leaned more heavily against the smooth bark behind her, her thoughts spinning in various directions as she turned her gaze up at the leaves above. Her legs throbbed with a dull ache, her body's objection to her forcing it to climb even the small hill that the tree rested on. Her time in the hospital had left her muscles atrophied and weak and she was only just getting to the point she could get around unassisted again. But this had been pushing it, that much was clear, and the pain in her legs only added to the confused tangled mess that her thoughts were at the moment.

She had been so caught up in her mind's spiraling and the sights of the foliage above her that she didn't hear the approaching footsteps, if there had been any at all. It wasn't until a voice gently broke the silence that she snapped back to the present in a flash.

"i thought i might find you here."

Toriel looked up, not startled by the voice. In fact, she had been expecting it, and felt in that moment very much like she had been caught in her cowardice. As per her assumptions, it was indeed Sans who stood there at the edge of the willow dome, likely by way of a shortcut. He was dressed in a dark gray knitted hoodie and blue sweatpants, along with his signature slippers. About as close to anything party appropriate as someone like him would go for without being pressured. He looked her over with his usual smile, but there was concern in the light of his eyes as well as a hint of sad understanding.

"everything okay?" He asked cautiously, stepping over and slipping his hands into his hoodie pockets. "party getting a bit too much for ya?"

She sighed softly then gave him a weak smile, laying her paws in her lap. She was grateful he didn't promptly chastise her for coming here in her weakened condition, even though the idea of it must have been burning up his soul with worry.

"Greetings, my dear." She said softly, just over the sound of the rustling willow leaves. "And yes… I suppose it was..."

She looked back towards the house and the mix of colors flashing up from it to the beat of the distant music. Subconsciously, she worried her lip with her fangs as she pondered how to further explain herself.

"I am honored of course that everyone would do something like this for me, truly I am, but it is a bit… overwhelming." She admitted, looking back at him rather sheepishly.

Sans appeared a bit relieved at her answer and relaxed some. Enough to give his usual shrug and wink in reply.

"well hey, s'not everyday you finally get out of the hospital after waking up from a coma. this is how monsters of this century tend to celebrate." He reasoned, as though he were talking about something mundane, to comedic effect. "it's also good to see blooky dj-ing again, their whole crew really have improved a lot, though i think i could have gone without seeing mettaton's whole "glitter explosion" entrance stunt."

He reached up and gingerly scraped a phalange along the inside edges of his eye socket, grimacing a bit as he did so.

"i think i still got some of that damned stuff in my sockets." He said before flicking away whatever sparkly material he'd managed to clear from it.

That managed to get a soft giggle out of her, feeling the unease constricting her soul loosen its grip a bit.

"Yes, I imagine I will be vacuuming it up for weeks to come." She agreed, relaxing a little more against the tree's thick trunk. "Even so, I do appreciate the thought. Though a small warning next time would also be appreciated."

Once those words left her, she felt more confident about speaking, though her emotions drifted back into quiet shame and guilt. She drew in another deep breath and let it out in a heavy sigh before speaking. When the words did come, she worked up a small, rueful smile again.

"I do feel badly for stepping away like this… but I cannot help but find all that noise and excitement… a bit too much for me. And I really have lost a lot of my old aptitude at smalltalk." She admitted, turning to look over at the house again and all its current occupants. "I never expected that so many humans and monsters would want to celebrate my recovery… especially after the way I turned my back on my subjects in the past. Yet here I am, still running away from them…"

She paused, knowing better than to linger on that fact if she wanted to avoid both further self deprecation as well as hypocrisy. Her gaze became a little more serious, looking up at Sans again.

"I do hope I did not worry you." She said nervously after a moment, scratching the side of her cheek lightly with a claw.

Sans shook his head, eyelights and general expression softening a bit.

"nah, and it's not like that tori." He insisted, slowly regaining a stronger smile. "don't overthink it too much, it's normal to need some air from all that. plenty of folks find parties to be exhausting. i guarantee alphys is holed up somewhere by now with her headphones on watching anime rather than socializing. you aren't the only one."

Toriel nodded and hummed in acknowledgement, agreeing that that was most likely true. But they both knew such avoidance was different when you were the so called "guest of honor" and had once been a queen who attended countless royal affairs. The galas of old compared little to the parties of this century however, and it was just another one of the many things she'd have to get used to. She couldn't just keep running away like this… even with all these new memories dredging up those old feelings and fears that once kept her in her self imposed exile within the Ruins.

Sans shifted in a small, anxious sort of motion, fidgeting his hands in his jacket pockets a bit. Then he looked at her with an attempt at a more casual grin.

"mind if i join you?" He asked, stepping over so that he was standing at her side. "i've learned how to navigate the party scene over the years, but i'll admit, this is much more my style."

His words brought a small smile back to her own face, unable to avoid finding his manner of speech wonderfully endearing as ever. And his offer managed to wash away some of her unease. She nodded and scooted over a bit to give him space to sit beside her against the tree's massive trunk, just like they both had done back at the start of all this.

"Not at all." She assured him warmly. "Your company is far preferred over this being a par _tree_ of one."

That got a laugh from him as leaned back against the tree and slid down into a sitting position. It was one of his best laughs too, wheezy and unrestrained enough that it made his bones lightly rattle. Usually that rattling sound was indicative of immense negative emotion bearing down on him, like that day he first began sharing his secrets with her beneath this very tree. But now, it only came from joy, and Toriel's own soul felt far lighter for hearing such a thing from him. So much so that she couldn't help but lean over and nuzzle his cheekbone once he was settled.

The act brought a flush of cyan to his skull, even now. Part of her hoped it would always happen to some degree, as the sight always made her soul do happy flips inside her. Her little display of affection caused his laughter to hitch a bit, but it continued for a few moments before trailing off. He then leaned against her with a somewhat winded sigh, smile warm and genuine.

His close presence pushed all her earlier worries aside for the moment, allowing her to put the majority of her focus on him. She moved to slip her arm around him, but he surprised her by reaching up his hand and pressing something into her paw instead, as though perfectly anticipating her intended action.

He shot her a playful wink and she played along, pulling her paw back to see what he had given her. It was a deep wine glass, filled with a multicolored, clearly magically created, liquid that bubbled and glowed in the low light and emitted a colorful vapor in lazy curls.

"surprise, snuck you a glass of grillbz's new masterpiece." Sans said, suddenly also holding an exact clone of the drink in his hand. "It's a good one, really turning heads down there."

He then took a small sip of it by pressing it against his teeth, the magic in it making his eyelights shimmer. She didn't bother to ask how he had carried the drinks up here without her seeing them. It seemed there were simply some things about her dear skeleton that would always remain a mystery, even now. She smiled and held the glass in the manner she used back when she was royalty, more for show than anything.

"Well, how very thoughtful of you." She said, looking over the magical concoction curiously and giving it a swirl. "Just how strong _is_ this drink though?"

Sans gave another soft chuckle at that, along with a subsequent teasing wink.

"don't worry old lady, it's nothing too potent." He promised, before lightly elbowing her in the side. "i know better than to let you drink too much, wouldn't want to get a  _pizza_ your mind for it later after all."

Stars above, was he  _ever_ going to let her live that down? She shot him a flat look and pointedly pushed him over. He chuckled to himself the whole time, keeping his drink aloft above him with his magic as he laid on his side in the grass for a few moments. She left him to his amusement at her expense, taking her first delicate sip of the drink. It didn't hit her in a rush like Grillby's previous "hot shots" had. Instead it was a milder sensation, smooth on the tongue and stirring up a pleasantly warm swell of magic within her. The fire elemental had truly mastered his craft, there was no doubt about that.

Sans sat up hesitantly again beside her, moving playfully slow as though anticipating being pushed over again. She allowed him to sit up though, and found his grin so infectious that her attempts to appear sore at him for bringing up that embarrassing moment failed her and she couldn't help but smile and roll her eyes. She looped an arm around him and pulled him close, an action he reciprocated by settling comfortably against her with another soft chuckle that trailed into a content sigh.

The two sat like that a while, sipping their drinks in the relative quiet and privacy that the old willow offered them. The sun was dipping lower towards the horizon behind them, casting the view ahead in a great canvas of ever more vibrant colors. The day's last grand display before bidding their side of the world goodnight, and making way for the moon and its ethereal shroud of darkness. They had some time before then, but seeing as the event continued to be one treasured by the monsters who had been denied it for all those centuries, Toriel wanted to savor every moment before the full setting of the sun.

It was only when Toriel's sensitive ears caught the sweet sound of her children's laughter that she turned to look back at the house. Frisk and Kid looked to be playing a game of tag, dressed up in their matching ponchos. Flowey was sticking out from her child's backpack, and from what she could hear of his tone, was giving Frisk demands throughout the game. They were something her child seem to be taking in stride as they pursued their monster friend. The small white dog rushed about between them as well, yapping excitedly.

Kid jumped over the dog with surprising skill, landing on their feet and rushing to use Asgore as a temporary shield. Even from a distance, Toriel noticed their child's stance change in response, and the shift of their eye color. The scarlet that emerged to replace the brown glowed faintly in the fading light as Chara took over and continued to chase Kid with their own techniques. Techniques that included using the dog as a distraction to take Kid off guard from behind. Chara grabbed their tail and the monster child spun around with a mixture between a shout and a laugh, taking up their mantle as "it" and beginning to chase Chara across the yard.

Seeing her two human children share one body and switch places like that… It was still something she was getting used to and trying to fully understand. But the whole scene made her smile, bringing her soul a maternal warmth. After everything that had happened... to see smiles on her children's faces again, to see them having fun as children their age should be, it brought her a level of joy she almost feared would be lost to them all in the wake of the great revelations.

"the kiddos look like they are having fun." Sans chimed in, following her gaze. "even flowey looks a bit less grumpy than usual."

That comment made her glance at him for a moment, noting the slight hesitance in his voice at the mention of the flower monster, but she left it be. The scars her children had left on him still had only just begun to heal after all, no matter how much he chose to forgive them. The best thing she could do for the moment, she felt, was to simply go along with his words to show her appreciation for his efforts.

"Yes, It is wonderful to see them so happy." She agreed with a stronger smile. "They have adjusted to their new lives so well so quickly… and everyone has accepted them with open arms. I could hardly be more grateful."

She watched them for a few more moments, and her eyes grew heavier as a lump formed in her throat. The emotions responsible for that also dredged up words from her soul that escaped her before she could think to stop them.

"I still do not know what I ever did to deserve the blessing of my children's return." She murmured, briefly displaying her own wounds openly once more. 

She inwardly winced at her own words and looked to Sans apologetically as he laid a comforting hand on her arm. The gesture was also a silent reminder of what he spoke in words a few moments later. It seemed she wasn't getting away with saying such things this time.

"come on tori." He gently admonished. "that counts as tearing yourself down, if you don't let me do it, then i'm not gonna let you do it either. i'm no pro at compliments like my bro, but uh… you're great, amazing. and you deserve the world, okay?"

She blinked at that, not expecting the sudden rush of compliments. He managed to maintain eye contact with her to drive in his point, but the cyan flushing of his cheekbones betrayed that he was a bit embarrassed by own impulsive words on the matter. She blushed lightly in turn and giggled a few times, truly touched and amused by all he'd said. It was true she still slipped into hypocritical self deprecation even after all her efforts to get Sans to stop doing the same. It was good that he called her out on it, and she would just have to keep trying alongside him to better monitor her thoughts and words in that regard.

Leaning over, she nuzzled his bright blue cheekbone and gave him a brief little squeeze with her free arm.

"Alright then dear. Very well, I apologize for that." She conceded, the smile evident in her voice. "And thank you, my love."

She pulled back then to meet his gaze, finding herself drawn in by the lights of his eyes, shining brighter from all the stirred emotions within him. As always though, they revealed the turmolt always lingering beneath Sans' surface when nothing else would. Even now, she could see the hints of heavier emotions lingering in those little lights, kept at bay for now, but far from being banished. It was still a massive improvement to how he had looked when she had first woken up again however.

She looked down only long enough to take another long sip of her drink and revel in its subtle pleasant effects, then looked back to him again.

"How are  _you_  feeling?" She asked, trying to emulate his usual casual tone rather than her perpetually fretful one. "You do seem in better  _spirits_ today."

The pun hit the mark, proven by the wheezy chuckles and snort that escaped him then. Clearly the alcohol was now helping lend to that too, making his laughter sound even more giddy. She almost joined him in that, but she was more caught up in wanting to know what he would say in return. Once the silliness of the joke wore off the true weight of what she was asking set in, he steadily composed himself and then let out a soft sigh. His smile remained though, weaker than his usual grin, but genuine.

"heh, yah… i'm doing okay. getting along at least." He answered, closing his sockets briefly. "it's still hard though… i can't help but still feel awkward around the others sometimes. especially the kiddos… i just don't know how to act like things haven't changed. like they don't all now have to deal with all these horrible truths and memories because of me."

The words hung briefly, and the slight wince she could see from him betrayed he realized he too had drifted into self-deprecation with his words. She didn't chastise him for it though, instead she simply hummed thoughtfully, looking down at the colorful glow of her drink as she pondered her response. As she did, the cheerful voices of everyone at the house floated up to them, in stark contrast to Sans' own tone.

"Well... things  _have_ changed, my love, have they not?" She asked, offering a small smile. "There is no need to act as though that is not the case. Just because some things are different now, and we all have a lot more on our minds to deal with, does not mean we cannot still be happy. Besides, you have only really been facing this properly without hiding away for a week now, have you not?"

She took another slow sip to allow the question to hang between the two of them comfortably, with enough time for him to really take in what was being asked. He said nothing, only stared down at his dingy slippers where they rested in the grass. So she continued, reaching to take his free hand with her paw, all but enveloping it.

"Trying to reconcile something like this is never going to be easy love." She said gently, running her thumb over his knuckle bones in a dearly familiar gesture for the two of them. "Give it time, it will get easier. You are doing wonderfully, especially compared to where you were at the start of all this. And I am sure your HP will continue to improve as well going forward."

His expression remained stiff for a few moments, still contemplating her words. Then it softened, and he squeezed her paw back and looked up at her again, eyelights glowing more brightly.

"heh alright, thanks tori…" He replied with a quiet chuckle.

His eyelights didn't leave her face though, and seemed to be exploring it as though it were some detailed work of art. A dusting of cyan reappeared on his cheekbones, along with a few beads of sweat on his skull. He cleared his metaphorical throat before speaking again.

"uh... can't help but notice… you look… really um… beautiful tonight."

She blinked in surprise, not expecting that, then her expression softened into a somewhat flustered smile. She rubbed one of her long ears between her fingers, resisting the urge to hide behind them and feeling her cheeks heat up under her fur.

"Oh? Goodness me." She said with a giggle. "Well thank you, dear. This old thing is a bit much for a house party I would say, but I am glad you like it."

She instinctively smoothed out her long maroon colored dress, making it shimmer some in the evening sunlight. It had been a more bold choice on her part, given that it was less conservative than her usual outfits with its lack of sleeves and eye catching material. It was a signifier of how she had started this night a lot more confidently, along with the thorough brushing of her fur and the lightest hint of makeup around her eyes. She had wanted to prove to everyone she had not only recovered from her ordeal, but wouldn't let all her new memories and knowledge cause her to hide away again, that she would bounce back.

It was fair to say, she had failed in that endeavor. Quite emphatically so. But his compliment was still appreciated. It seemed her efforts had not been for naught after all. At least in this small way. Though it felt as though that there was more to his words than just flattery. He fidgeted a bit next to her, blush grower more prominent, enough that the light blue magic glowed faintly in the fading light.

"well uh... the dress is great, really great even, but i uh… more meant your... eyes." He said, offering a terribly wobbly smile. "the sunset makes them look… well… they kinda reflect all the colors y'know? i noticed it that day you finally got fed up with all my bs, heh… out on the porch that day. it was the sunrise then, but in any case… they really do look uh… pretty."

The words were terribly clumsy, and no matter how endearing she found them she couldn't seem to spare him from his own embarrassment. He groaned and covered his face with his free hand, sinking into his hoodie a bit as though it would make him disappear. As he did, his wine glass tipped dangerously in his other hand as he drew it close to himself as well.

"ah geez…" He mumbled, blue glow from his skull seeping out from between his phalanges. "don't listen to me, i already had another glass of this stuff down there."

She tried to fight it, she really did, but a flurry of giggles burst out of her regardless, the kind that trailed into embarrassing little bleats. Not necessarily for humor in this situation, but more for a wonderful mix of joyful emotion, and generally still not knowing how to properly accept such heartfelt compliments again. She managed to compose herself quickly though for his sake, not wanting him to have too much time to doubt how much she appreciated his attempts. Sans was adept at a good number of things, but stringing together the romantic words to leave another swooning wasn't among them.

She gave him another hug, her own emerging tipsiness nearly making her spill the remainder of her drink as she wrapped her arms around him. After righting both his glass and her own again, she gave him a teasing sort of nuzzle along his cheekbone, one that almost became a kiss, but never quite reached that point. She also used it to gently nudge his hand away from his face and tuck his skull under her chin.

"Oh my dearest little bonehead." She all but purred in a lightly teasing tone, a bit bolstered by the drink's effects. "Your jokes are to die for, but your flirting techniques could use some work."

He mumbled something intelligible at that, and she giggled once more before continuing in a more sober, earnest tone.

"Nonetheless… I am flattered, love." She said softly, brushing her cheek slowly over the top of his skull. "You look wonderful as well, that sweater suits you quite nicely."

He let out a short sort of laugh that showed he didn't quite agree with that, but didn't argue against it either. With that, she shifted so she could look down at him, encouraging him to meet her gaze as well with a careful motion of her free paw's knuckles against his cheekbone. He obliged after a moment's hesitation, settling back against her and turning his eyelights up to meet the deep scarlet eyes he had so kindly praised. The blush remained on his face, but at this point he seemed to have accepted it, unable to keep from smiling that wonderfully giddy smile up at her.

It was nearly enough to break her from her more sincere tone, and it made the corners of her mouth twitch and her nose wrinkle a bit in the beginnings of an amused snort. But she stuck with it regardless, trailing the curve of one finger playfully over his cheekbone.

"And as for  _your_ eyes… If mine are at their best under the first or last bits of a day's sunlight, then I say that yours shine brightest under the wondrous light of the stars." She said, ending the praise with a smile that all but invited him to try and best her back.

But her words had left Sans flustered all anew, though he resisted shrinking in on himself in response this time. He seemed to be trying to think of something to say in return, but as he gazed up at her playful smirk, it seemed it all was just too much for him, and had thoroughly banished any of his clever thinking for the moment. He finally just let out a defeated sigh and closed his sockets, sagging against her all the more before taking another sip from his glass.

"damn it… you are so much better at this than me." He conceded with an amused grin.

He gave the remainder of his drink a contemplative swirl, then seemed to be hit with inspiration. He sat up and slipped out of her hold in order to face her properly, looking more confident even with his exasperation towards himself still clear on his face. She let him go, curious as to what he could be planning.

Whatever it was seemed to be paired with a desire to be the one to hold her cheek rather than the other way around. When he reached up to do so, she allowed the gesture gratefully, leaning into his touch as his phalanges slid through the fur there. Sans took a short, steadying breath and faced her again with a grin more in line with his usual casual one.

"how's about i just kiss you again instead?" He asked as though it were a simple offer, before giving his shoulders a playful shrug. "that tends to be easier than coming up with words. and y'know me, i love finding the easiest way possible to do things."

It was a response that was so… so very him, that it made her giggle all over again. Even now, after feeling so badly about coming to hide away up here, he managed to knock down the walls she had been trying to build up around her and surround her with happiness and peace of mind instead. And it always seemed so effortless for him, even when it was clear he had to work to put forth that image successfully, especially after being so flustered from her earlier teasing.

It took a good deal of effort on her behalf as well to keep just a warm smile on her face, rather than break out in giggles again. Her ruby red eyes still shimmered with amusement though, and no shortage of affection.

"That would be acceptable, my love." She murmured.

In a display of the shared sort of understanding that had been growing between them since she had regained her lost memories, and even before then, they both tipped back their drinks and downed the rest of them in a quick motion before dropping the empty glasses into the grass. Then she let him do the honors of gently pulling her head down to meet him for a kiss.

They were careful not to be too daring with a whole host of potential eyewitness not too far away, but the willow's dome did provide them with a bit of privacy to share in that wonderfully simple expression of love. Even if Sans was right and it was the "lazy" way of going about it, there were things shared from the meeting of their magic and the stirring of their souls that just couldn't be expressed in words. She stuck to trailing small pecks against his exposed teeth, slipping in and out of letting him hold her there and doing the same right back.

In a way, the whole thing seemed a bit scandalous to her, slipping away from a party to kiss the monster she loved here beneath a tree just out of view of everyone else. Why, it seemed to be something much more suited to far younger monsters with far different lifestyles. But in a way, that made her soul stir with an odd sort of exhilaration, just enough that her more reasonable side didn't take over and insist she cease such behavior. He really did have a wondrous natural ability to make her feel at ease, even in a situation like this.

Eventually the kissing devolved into little more than affectionate nuzzling and a bit of her playfully head butting his skull, all punctuated by stifled giggles and snorts. Such childish, silly things, but all the more meaningful to them. It ended up with Sans snug in her lap and her wrapping him up in a hug from behind. She settled her chin on his skull for a while then, feeling a bit tired… but in a good way, unlike the ever draining exhaustion that the knowledge of the resets had brought her. During all their silly, rapt affection, the sun had sunk ever lower behind them, casting the world in ever more vibrant shades of fiery colors.

The crickets were beginning to sporadically sing around them, like chorus men testing their voice before a big show. Moths started to flutter by, just waking up from a long day's slumber in time to see the sun's light fade to shadow. The world around them was preparing for nightfall, but the humans and monsters currently within her home clearly intended to stay quite awake long into the night. Well… until Toriel had to step in for the sake of her children's bedtimes that is.

Such a thought almost brought her gaze back to the house, but she forced herself to stay in the moment. The children would be fine and were surrounded by those who loved them, she could afford to enjoy this time alone with her dear skeleton, at least until the sun finally bid their side of the world goodnight that is. And that time was drawing nearer and nearer every moment.

It was perhaps this unspoken fabricated urgency that led to Sans perking up from within her embrace again. Truthfully, she had thought he was asleep, or at least near it. It was the perfect scenario and time for that after all, and they had established many times over in the past that she didn't mind, even enjoyed, carrying him home after he had dozed off. But it seemed he had something to say before the sun left them for the day. By then, the glow of his eyelights was prominent in the dying light, instinctually drawing her eyes to his when he glanced up at her.

A certain seriousness had returned to his expression, but he still maintained a fairly genuine smile. After a another few moments of subtle fidgeting and hesitance from him again, he finally broke the silence, all while absently running his phalanges through the fur on her arm.

"it's probably just the drinks talking, but… despite everything that happened… and how much it all still sucks… i'm kind of… glad everyone knows now." He admitted, though the uncertainty behind the words still lingered in the edges of his tone. "it's the... right thing i guess… even if it can't help but cause a lot of hurt too… "

He paused and Toriel tightened her hug a bit, wishing to give some reply in return. But she could feel from what she could detect from Sans' soul that there was more he wanted to say. So she simply settled for a thoughtful hum in response, feeling her soul's magic now all but instinctually reach out to his own. His soul returned her efforts, and through that she could feel the somberness that had settled back into it, weighing it down like a heavy layer of thick black tar.

Despite that though, there was still positivity there as well, working its way through the gloom. And it was those feelings he did his best to project when he spoke up.

"tori… i…" He began but paused and then turned in her embrace to press his face against the plush fur of her neck. "just… thank you..."

He shifted then to wrap his arms as much as he could around her neck, reminding her of how he had clung to her in the hospital upon her awakening. And judging from the brief turbulence of emotion from his soul, she was fairly certain he was thinking back to then as well.

"i'm still really sorry for what i put you through…" He went on, emotion pulling at his voice. "i'm always gonna be... but… thank you for everything… especially for getting through to me back then when i needed it."

The heavy quality of the words hit her hard, summoning up a mix of conflicted emotions from her soul. Part of her wanted to remind him again to stop apologizing for things he couldn't have predicted or knowingly prevented. Or even the things that she chose to take on for herself. But there was a sense, like many of the times he said these sorts of things, that the words were something he needed to say for his own sake as well. He had thanked her like this before, and she had a feeling she'd hear those same words many more times going forward.

So she didn't allow herself to fret over that, reasoning that, if it brought him a level of peace in the face of all this, she wouldn't dare take that from him. Plus, it was fair to say that his intoxication no doubt was contributing to all this as well. And even if it had been the millionth time he'd said those words, she knew her soul would leap in her chest just the same. She tightened her grip on him and cradled him against her as though he were the most precious thing in the world. More precious than any material possession she had been allowed during her time as royalty could ever hope to be. More precious to all those around him than his dark and twisted father could have ever imagined he would be.

To think he had begun his life considered little more than a flawed prototype weapon created in a lab to be tossed away once his perceived use had run out, it was all but unimaginable now. Sans had so much worth as a monster, as a friend, as a brother, and as her beloved. Worth he had found for himself despite the lingering curses of his creation continually making his life an inescapable hell. Despite his upbringing giving him every reason to live with darkness and apathy in his soul, he had never, even in his darkest moments, truly lost his compassion. Part of her hoped Gaster could see the monster he had brought into the world with such cruel intent from wherever his bizarre fate had left him. So he could see just how wrong he had truly been to doubt Sans' worth, so he could see how much greater a monster Sans was than the ghoulish royal scientist who had made him. 

"You are most welcome, my love." She crooned, pouring all she could of her devotion into those words. "And I must thank you in return, for putting such trust in me back then and now, and for helping me face my own burdens as well."

It was almost a rehearsed recital by then, and thus, both knew there was nothing more that was going to be said this particular time. All the expected branches of conversation they could have taken had been traversed before already, both in the hospital and once she had been allowed to leave and return home. The ones that ended in further warmth, the ones that ended in tears, and the ones that ended in the two of them falling into fits of giggling over everything and nothing at all.

This time though, they just held each other for awhile and reveled in all they had been through, and just how lucky they were to be together like this in the wake of it all. Perhaps if their time alone had continued a little longer, she could have found something new to say, some memory or aspect of their current struggles that they hadn't discussed before. But the stars above fated something different for that evening, as they readied to make their grand entrance for the oncoming night. A voice pierced through what had become a pleasant hum of background noise from the house, making both of them jump a bit.

"Hey you punks! What'cha doing up here?" Called the voice, revealing itself to be Undyne pushing through the hanging strands of willow leaves.

Moments later, Alphys, Asgore, Papyrus, Frisk with Flowey in tow, and even the small white dog were filing into the space beneath the willow dome right behind her. All, save Flowey, were dressed in their house party attire, which varied in formality between each of them. Even the dog wore a small bowtie, the origins of which Toriel had no idea.

It seemed Toriel's secret place of retreat hadn't been so secret after all. She looked up at them and felt her face flush hotly beneath her fur. Some of it was from embarrassment of behind caught being so openly affectionate with Sans, yes, but most of it was born from the shame of running off like she had, as she so often did, when they were all there to celebrate  _her_ recovery.

"The party is down there!" Undyne reiterated with a grin, jabbing a webbed thumb back at the house. "And it's really picking up now, Mettaton and crew are setting up karaoke and everything."

When Toriel didn't respond right away, a few of the other's faces grew worried, including that of her child. The scarlet hue to their eyes told her who was in control at the moment.

"You okay Mom?" Chara asked, voicing what was clearly on the minds of everyone currently staring at her.

She was quick to nod, composing herself and sitting up more properly. Sans remained in her lap though, either unbothered by the situation or set on staying where he was for another reason. She didn't pay him too much mind then.

"Yes, my child. I am fine." She assured them with a smile, but one that quickly wavered with mixed emotion. "I was just... Um…"

Thankfully, Sans and his usual quick wit was there to save her from her verbal fumbling, responding to the question without missing a beat.

"we're just taking a break." He said simply, settling back against her with a wink and a lazy shrug to the others. "what can i say? i'm a bad influence."

Undyne rolled her single eye at that, a general reaction shared by Papyrus, even if he lacked eyes to roll. But the others seemed to take it in good humor, and the tenseness that had been hanging over the situation dissipated quickly. Alphys stepped up to stand beside her girlfriend, staring out at the sight of Newer Home, Ebott City, and the surrounding countryside. All bathed in those brilliant shades of color from the fading sun.

Even with the willow's strands hanging in the way here and there, it did not rob the view of its beauty. They cut through the bright colors in dark, thin strands, only adding to the visual fidelity of what could be compared to a work of natural art. Art that life on the surface graciously provided for free every day.

"Oh w-wow…" The lizard monster gasped, clasping her hands together. "What a view!"

Asgore nodded in agreement and stepped up to join the couple, smiling in quiet reverence at the sight.

"It certainly is beautiful…" He said softly, his bi-colored eyes brightening up.

At that, Papyrus' attention was pulled from reprimanding his brother through harsh looks in order to also take in the scene before him.

"WOWIE! SO COLORFUL!" He exclaimed, sockets sparkling excitedly.

He reached over and grasped Undyne's arm, pulling her up closer so that she could better take in the view.

"COME ON THEN UNDYNE, SURELY WE CAN ALL TAKE A FEW MINUTES TO APPRECIATE THE SETTING OF THE SUN FROM THIS MOST WONDERFUL VANTAGE POINT!" He insisted, gesturing dramatically.

Undyne smirked and playfully elbowed the skeleton in the side.

"Alright alright, you win Paps." She conceded, flashing him a toothy grin.

She then turned to look back down at Sans and Toriel, rolling her single eye when faced with Sans' rather triumphant grin.

"But afterwards you two come back down with the rest of us." She said, pointing a webbed finger at them. "The Temmies showed up with a… uh… "cake" they made for you. Wouldn't want to miss that right?"

The image of just what the Temmies of all monsters could have created couldn't quite take form in her mind, though her imagination entertained many possibilities, none of them resembling anything edible nor aesthetically pleasing. But still, a gift was a gift, and she would be grateful for their show of kindness towards her nonetheless.

The small white dog crawling into Sans' lap then and settling down there decided things for her and she managed a stronger smile as she gave the animal's head a stroke.

"No, certainly not." She confirmed, in perhaps a heavier tone than was expected.

She brightened up again quickly after though and patted the space in the grass beside her.

"Very well then, come join us to watch the sunset, then we can all return to the house together." She conceded, feeling her earlier anxiety waning significantly.

The words summoned up smiles all around, and everyone began to find space to sit beneath the tree. Papyrus had to sit propped up on Asgore's leg, as the hulking boss monster took up the majority of the available space. Undyne followed Toriel's example by holding her smaller girlfriend in her lap and wrapping her up in a hug from behind. Frisk, who had reemerged as the one in control, squeezed into Toriel's lap beside Sans with Flowey in tow. They leaned back against her and also rested their head on Sans' shoulder, a gesture the skeleton met by looping an arm around them. Toriel slipped her arms around all four of them, happily settling her cheek against Sans' skull.

Before they could all settle completely, Sans seemed to recognize someone was missing from the group, someone who had also once been part of Sans and Toriel's original long talks beneath the willow tree. With a brief crackle of magic distortion above them, GB was summoned into existence, at a conveniently small, about dog sized, stature. The blaster glanced around, utterly delighted to see everyone all together like this, and it seemed all present were just as happy to allow him to share in the moment. Unlike before, there was no longer fear that GB would act out aggressively towards her children, not even Flowey. It reflected the change in how Sans himself viewed them, and his slowly building trust in the children's growth and vows to ensure this timeline was their last was reflected in his loyal weapon. The blaster trilled cheerfully and briefly rushed about before settling on Toriel's head between her horns, purring in his usual reverberating manner. 

With GB rounding off the group it was a bit of a tight squeeze by design, as they all wished to stay near the center for the best view, but the closeness was welcomed and invoked a shared warmth between all their souls. Each individual soul's emotions fed into the others a mere short distance away, from the enormous king of monsters, to the small white dog. Even Flowey with his allegedly hollow form was felt to be a part of it, albeit only faintly. Chara and Frisk's shared soul was felt as well, seperate in their energies but unified in the emotions they shared. Everyone felt uplifted by the familial sharing and gaining of love. The good kind of love.

The poison of Toriel's former trauma and bitterness was not there to sour the experience like it once had been. Granted, it was not wholly banished, and some dark, stifled part of her soul still recoiled at accepting Asgore's close presence again. But it lacked the strength to manifest and steal away the happiness of the moment.

And as before, despite the glorious show nature was providing before her, she found her gaze drawn to the monster she loved. He gazed forward, smiling a smile that was genuine through and through. What once had been rare, now had become a rather regular fixture on his face. Someone less close to him may not see any difference at all in the grin he once wore and the expression on his face now. But there was a glorious happiness there in his eyelights that for her was impossible to miss, giving them a shimmer that made her soul stir in her chest.

It had not been just her actions, or the two of them finally confessing their feelings for one another that was responsible for this change in him. It had been love in general that was truly deserving of that praise, love in as many shades as the sky at sunset.

Love from her, his brother, his found family and all of his friends who stood by him even at his lowest. It was that collective love that they all could feel now that had seen him through this, and would continue to help him heal going forward. Even if she had in fact perished in that hospital bed, she was sure that the others would have continued what she had begun, and ensured Sans would have eventually found it in himself to have hope again.

Sans was not healed of that darkness that ailed him and had called her to confront him at the start of all this. Indeed, one could even say that in the course of her attempts to help him, he had, at least for a while, slipped further into the clutches of his personal demons than ever before. But being forced to confront his myriad of secrets and unthinkable pain had freed him from his prison of apathy that had once left him so hollow and distant. And though the adjustment to that had been nearly too much for him to bear initially, he had come out of it far better off than before, and far less afraid to face the road of healing ahead.

She could say the same of herself… for Sans' journey had become a personal one of her own as well. That initial spark of bravery, that chance he took in her telling her his secrets, had grown into a blaze that had eventually consumed every one of them, leaving them burned but renewed in its wake. And despite what had happened to her specifically, they had not lost anyone in that great inferno.

They were all here, with new and old scars to bear surely, but stronger and closer than before. And though all of their minds were now burdened with immense knowledge that had savaged their very sense of reality and existence, knowledge that had nearly stole Toriel from them all, she had a feeling that none of them had true regrets. Even her dear skeleton seemed to be accepting that fact, and accepting himself better for it.

She closed her eyes briefly as her thoughts spun on, surprised to find them slightly wet. When she opened them again, she realized they had mere moments before the last bits of brilliant light gave way to the oncoming night. Without much conscious thought, three words slipped out of her lips, just before the final sliver of the sun disappeared past the horizon behind them.

"Thank you all."

The words were soft, but it was clear that everyone present heard them. There was no response to be heard from the others, but it was not needed. A concept that seemed to be understood by all present. The answer to her gratitude could be felt in the connection of their souls, the unified reassuring warmth that came through to her and made her own soul practically melt within her chest. With it came flickers of individual emotion, specifics tied to each member of her new odd, broken, but oh so wonderful family. Most notably perhaps, from the weak, precious soul of her dear skeleton.

She squeezed him and her children tight, and everyone around her seemed to press closer as well by some silent instinct. Still saying nothing, but sharing everything.

Above and before them, the first stars were beginning to wink into existence. But even they in their ethereal beauty along with the sights and sounds of the party still going on in her home, did not demand the attention of the humans and monsters beneath the willow tree. The view in all its grandeur had been all but forgotten by them as they turned their focuses inward and towards one another.

Nothing that had once been stolen from them during their imprisonment, no matter how beautiful, could hope to compare to the things that had kept them going all those centuries underground. What kept all of monsterkind from becoming forgotten dust in those dark caverns. The very things that made up a monster's soul, and contrary to prior belief, most human souls as well. Love, hope and compassion. Elements that were felt most strongly in moments like this.

Someday, they'd be able to make sense of all these broken pieces. But until then, they could all now help to hold each other together through the monumental task of healing ahead.

And for that moment, that was more than enough.

The sun had set for the day, but its departure marked a new beginning for all of them.

Now under the light of the burgeoning stars, Toriel again looked down at her dear skeleton and, acting on a whim, performed a check on his soul.

*SANS, 1 ATK, 1 DEF, 5/5 HP

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading this fic and for all the wonderful comments, kudos and just general encouragement you offered along the way. This past year has been one of the craziest i've ever experienced, and writing this fic was the escapism and creative outlet I needed to get through it. I am in a much better place than I was when I began this fic and I hope to continue to grow as a person and create things that I love to share with others. 
> 
> As I hinted at before, I do have a sequel outlined for this fic, it will be more plot focused but it will be a direct continuation of the story. I am hoping to craft it a way that you could read both as their own stories too though, but we'll see. I hope you will give it a look when it's posted. It will be covering a few details that got brought up in this fic but didn't get fully explored. Especially regarding a certain man who speaks in hands. 
> 
> (and it may also include some potential skelegoat baby :3c but I dare not say too much) 
> 
> Whether you decide to read on when I post the sequel or find you are content with this ending, I truly appreciate every one of you that took the time to read and encouraged me to finish this <3 I wish you all the best. 
> 
> Thank you, and goodnight. 
> 
> -insert image of a small, white dog sleeping here-


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